Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

We still have time to mess this up!

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

‘Museums aren’t America’s attic for its racist shit.’

Fundamental belief of white supremacy: white people are presumed innocent, minorities are presumed guilty.

Republicans in disarray!

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

If marriage is the equivalent of selling yourself into slavery, women with self respect should reject the offer.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / Late Night Open Thread: Trump’s Reverse-Midas Touch

Late Night Open Thread: Trump’s Reverse-Midas Touch

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POST-RACIAL AMERICA!!! Truly, there is no bad-but-popular stereotype that Donald Trump can’t expose to public opprobrium, like lifting up rocks to show the squirmy things hiding beneath them…


… Aaaand up chugs The Albino Axolotl, once again hoping to carve out some media space for the Gingrich brand. When the ‘best’ defender the GOP can dig up is this far past his sell-by date…

Reader Interactions

167Comments

  2. 2.

    Thru the Looking Glass...

    Trump adviser tells me POTUS is “winning the cultural war… just made millionaire sport athletes his new HRC.”

    Yes, indeedy…

    When you manage to turn Steph Curry, LeBron James, Michael Jordan, and Tom Brady against you in one weekend, you certainly are winning…

  6. 6.

    Mike J

    Watching the Vietnam War thingie on PBS. Just showed Walter Cronkite saying the US was a police state.

    Imagine any of our current media crop doing that.

  7. 7.

    jl

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): So, her breast jobs were from back when she wanted to be Pamela Anderson?
    (Edit: that was just to prove I spent a minute or two trying to find some sanity and sense to it)

    Is this a hoax?

    Edit2: she’s trying for job in the Trump administration? Or she’s nuts…

  10. 10.

    Carolina Dave

    @Elizabelle: its a Katrina, even worse than Katrina is named Maria. And it damaged the United States worse in terms of economic devestation to our territory rather than the mainland

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    But, but – didn’t the pundit class declare he pivoted and suddenly became all presidentialicious and like that there?

  13. 13.

    jl

    @NotMax:

    ” didn’t the pundit class declare he pivoted and suddenly became all presidentialicious and like that there? ”

    They are just going through the motions now. I’ll rely on some commenter to start posting clips when they regularly crack up and fall out of their chairs, or start to sob, when they try to read the script. Except Wolf, not sure about him… he might never get the joke.

  14. 14.

    khead

    I loves me some Balloon Juice. I’ve spent all night arguing with folks about Villanueva, Jerry Jones and Trump.

    Turns out the folks here already dropped three threads to make my point for me.

  16. 16.

    clay

    Well, we finally got internet back at our house after Irma. Feels a bit over-privileged to complain too much, since so many have it much worse off.

    On a brighter note, we adopted a kitten over the weekend! She’s black with white paws, and is about the sweetest, friendliest thing I’ve ever met! Her name is Pumpkin, and my daughters (8 and 9) are in love with her, as are my wife and I. If one of us is sitting, then she wants to be in a lap. We’re thinking about getting a second kitten to keep her company.

  18. 18.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Roy Moore is campaigning dressed up as a cowboy, because Alabama, and just pulled a pistol– a tiny little pistol– to show his support for the Second Amendment. Because Alabama.

  20. 20.

    NorthLeft12

    Joy Reid nails it perfectly for me. Deadbeat Donald bent over backwards to rationalize and defend the NAZI/racist protestors and their violence, but went ballistic over the athletes who quietly and respectfully protested during the national anthem.

    You know, with all the other shit going on and so many failures by the Trump federal management group, I hate that so much attention and energy is being spent on this.
    Puerto Rico, Healthcare, 2016 Election Fix, Right to Vote attacks, etc. all deserve much more attention by the media and the public.

  25. 25.

    lahke

    So, making an awkward pivot to another topic, I was looking around for something else to watch after having binged on the Leftovers, and my boss suggested Outlander, since she really loves it. So I watched a couple of episodes, and didn’t think it was anything special, and she encouraged me to watch a couple more. At which point I decide that this is torture porn. And looked ahead in the plot synopsis to decide if this trend will continue (spoilers–there for a reason), and it’s just more torture, with rape thrown in.

    Besides the dainty tiptoe I’m going to have to do if she asks me about it (“just not my cup of blood, thanks”), any advice on WTF gives with this show? I figured out that if I want to avoid violence that I should not watch Breaking Bad or GOT, but why does a soft-focus romantic fantasy have to go all bloody and SM?

  31. 31.

    hovercraft

    Future Junior Senator of Alabama, Roy Moore brandished a gun on stage at a rally tonight to show that the ads McTurtle has been running against him saying he is against the Second Amendment are false.

  33. 33.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Adam L Silverman: the pistol actually surprised me less than the cowboy outfit. I’m trying to think of what TV or movie character he reminded me of– a creepy kid who was always dressed as a cowboy for no reason

    ETA:

    @trollhattan: No fair, he’s copying Jerry Brown. Way to be original, Roy!

    wait…. what? Jerry Brown dressed up as a cowboy?

  34. 34.

    encephalopath

    @lahke:

    I tried to watch Outlander and got most of the way through the first season before giving up.

    It’s an extended, dramatized rape fantasy. Some people have a thing for that. It wasn’t my thing.

  38. 38.

    clay

    @lahke: It’s one of those shows, like Game of Thrones, that decided that medieval life was a brutal slog of misery and pain, and so is trying to be ‘realistic’ by showing it.

    Disclosure: I only watched the first half of the first season. I thought the production values — from sets and costume to acting and cinematography — was outstanding, but the story itself didn’t much grab me. The penultimate episode I saw was especially bad on torture — it was literally the entire episode.

  43. 43.

    sdhays

    @NorthLeft12:

    You know, with all the other shit going on and so many failures by the Trump federal management group, I hate that so much attention and energy is being spent on this.

    I initially had this reaction since I think football is a brutal sport and find sports in general to be incredibly boring and corrupt (the stadiums, etc.). But the protest is not over something small. It’s over the systemic and deadly racism in our country’s law enforcement.

    So, I think it sucks that we have so much really horrible important shit vying for the national attention at this moment, but I can’t complain that we shouldn’t be talking about this.

    Not that that’s what you were suggesting. It’s unbelievably appalling that the Preznit is fighting this nazi war at all, but especially while Puerto Rico suffers. But that’s where we are…

  45. 45.

    Raoul

    As far as the entire Tramp-Ryan-McConnell GOP, I just have this to say: “If you’re a billionaire who feels oppressed, you need a therapist not a tax cut.”

  46. 46.

    hovercraft

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I did check Alabama’s firearm’s laws and there is a prohibition about carrying and displaying at a demonstration. So maybe he’s technically in trouble?

    Unpossible,he was Chief Justice of the highest court in the State! He would never break the law!

  47. 47.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    there is speculation that trump will train his resentment on McConnell

    Joshua Green‏Verified account @ JoshuaGreen 31m31 minutes ago
    One scenario I heard floated was McConnell would get pushed out for — no joke — Thune

    I had forgotten about the existence of John Thune

  48. 48.

    Betty Cracker

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I saw that clip. Not just a cowboy outfit — an untalented, underfunded 1950s C&W band’s concept of a cowboy costume. It was a deeply weird moment when Moore pulled that tiny pistol out and brandished it.

    I hope he wins the runoff tomorrow. It’ll give the Democrat a better chance in the general. The lunatic Moore would almost certainly win because Alabama, but he would then go on to become a walking symbol of Republican psychopathy in the Senate.

  49. 49.

    Hal

    The responses from some of my Facebook friends today have been interesting. Just kidding. All have been some variation of rich, ungrateful athletes with their bullshit issues. My faves are the I don’t mean to get political posts that result in four or five separate very political posts on the same subject. Just one great big circle jerk of white people not getting it, and demanding every NFL player yes Miss Daisy to their every demand.

  51. 51.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Betty Cracker: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: I saw that clip. Not just a cowboy outfit — an untalented, underfunded 1950s C&W band’s concept of a cowboy costume.

    The Good Ol’ Boys from The Blues Brothers!

  52. 52.

    eemom

    @NorthLeft12:

    You know, with all the other shit going on and so many failures by the Trump federal management group, I hate that so much attention and energy is being spent on this.
    Puerto Rico, Healthcare, 2016 Election Fix, Right to Vote attacks, etc. all deserve much more attention by the media and the public.

    Well, on the bright side, at least a disproportionate amount of attention is not being spent on the football shit right here on this very enlightened blog. Oh wait….

  56. 56.

    Davebo

    Actually the NFL didn’t reject Trump’s offer to buy the Bills because he’s an ass. He just didn’t have the cash. A recurring issue it seems with the Donald.

  58. 58.

    Wapiti

    @sdhays:

    But the protest is not over something small. It’s over the systemic and deadly racism in our country’s law enforcement.

    I find it interesting that the typical police union spokespersons are laying low and not getting involved here.

  59. 59.

    PIGL

    @Hal: yeah I see a lot of troubled rushing to the defence of the poor owners and highly principled defences of property rights and the sanctity of contract.

  60. 60.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Hal: I like how the tribe that decided its leader should be rich, arrogant, and unapologetic has been strutting around all weekend about how bad it is to be rich, arrogant, and unapologetic.

  63. 63.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Rick Wilson‏Verified account @ TheRickWilson 1h1 hour ago
    That little thing? That’s not a man’s gun. That’s a gun for a Wild West madam to stuff in her boot.

    obviously, Wilson doesn’t watch westerns. The Madame’s gun goes in her garter

  64. 64.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @jl:

    I dunno, albino axolotl’s look kind of happy and cute, and wise, even. This one gives hints of situational awareness. Maybe that is just me.

    Creatures like this make me think of the maxim: “In nature, if it is not forbidden, it is commanded.”

  66. 66.

    Wapiti

    @Hal: I open with some “I hear you”s, then pivot to things like “They’re speaking up for people who have no voice. That’s sort of admirable, I think.”

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @FlipYrWhig: I think you’re missing the operative term “white” in the first part of your statement and “black” in the second part before the word “rich”.

  69. 69.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @eemom: Right. The NFL protests are about BLM. And the 1st Amendment. A lot of us are capable of arguing on many fronts. We can’t control what the media does. We can control the issues we raise to our reps. Today, I went with G-C opposition, voting rights, and disaster relief. Don’t be an asshole.

  77. 77.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: Nope, never claimed it was. Especially after midnight. I also can’t catch math errors. I know what I have to do to do the computations, but when I kick a number I can’t tell where I’ve kicked it. Probably just a bad bit of wiring.

    I’ll fix it.

  78. 78.

    patrick II

    I just finished watching my recording of tonight’s Chris Hayes interview with Hillary Clinton. Chris may be the best long form interviewer on television. Some takeaways:
    Hillary thinks Trump is very aware of what he is doing politicaIly, not as some think bumbling about.
    Trump is very unaware of the details of healthcare policy, but that is because he doesn’t care about healthcare.
    He does care about controlling the republican party by appealing to his 40% base and actively going after republicans disagree with him and aren’t loyal to him.
    A very important part of Trump’s longer term plan is voter suppression.
    Comey sucks. (me paraphrasing)
    And other things. It was an excellent interview.

  80. 80.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @patrick II:
    I deeply, DEEPLY respect Hillary’s opinions, but as much as I go over it, I can’t come to any conclusion other than he’s bumbling about and he’s basically senile. If I could, I would ask her if I’m missing something.

  81. 81.

    danielx

    @NotMax:

    …didn’t the pundit class declare he pivoted and suddenly became all presidentialicious and like that there?

    Yes they did (again), and yes, they are that desperate to normalize Trump’s….peculiarities.

    The only pivoting Donald Trump ever has or ever will perform is figuratively, possibly literally, grinding his heel on the faces of those he perceives as enemies. Which at this point includes most of the population of the US.

  84. 84.

    Betty Cracker

    “We got Puerto Rico from Spain, and it was one of the worst deals President McKinley ever made, believe me.”

    — Donald Trump, tomorrow, probably.

  87. 87.

    jl

    @Betty Cracker: @Adam L Silverman:

    ” an untalented, underfunded 1950s C&W band’s concept of a cowboy costume ”

    Hell, the most over-dandified little banty rooster of a square dance caller wouldn’t get caught dead in that thing. Even if he could yodel the calls.
    Got a pic of his boots? I bet they are might damn fine!

  90. 90.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Eric U.:
    I think Trump wants to deny brown people the vote, but he’s at the kindergarten level of that, going ‘That person doesn’t look American, they shouldn’t vote!’ where Sessions is going ‘Enforcement? What enforcement?’ and has actual strategies. I think they’ve hit diminishing returns, though. Kobach’s commission, for one thing, is as meaningless as Simpson-Bowles. Probably less. Very Serious People on television loved to pretend S-B had some kind of influence over our government, because they just loved the idea of putting the screws to the poor for the poor’s own good. Cable news people find voter suppression/fraud boring.

  91. 91.

    Betty Cracker

    @Frankensteinbeck: Yeah, I couldn’t agree with her on that either. Trump knows how to gain attention in a manner that is marginally more sophisticated than a toddler banging a pot with a spoon, but I wouldn’t call it strategic.

  94. 94.

    jl

    @Frankensteinbeck: @Betty Cracker: I agree too. Some ongoing GOP projects don’t need Trump’s daily, or monthly, or really, any guidance of input at all. Voter suppression is one of those. Trump has nothing at all of interest or use on that topic for anyone.

    In the old days, voter suppression efforts would be reserved for some responsible, sound men, in quiet back rooms. Maybe lucky for us, those are hard to come by in the GOP these days.

  95. 95.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Betty Cracker:
    What I’ve seen is that the things Trump does right, he doesn’t do strategically. He just happens to be something that works. He is the idiot racist the GOP base wants. He is the crazy jackass the media loves to cover. He didn’t aim at being those things. Cometh the time, cometh the man, and this is a time of the racist backlash temper tantrum.

  97. 97.

    burnspbesq

    @NorthLeft12:

    Puerto Rico, Healthcare, 2016 Election Fix, Right to Vote attacks, etc. all deserve much more attention by the media and the public

    And totally lost in all of that is that Congress is about to reverse a CFPB rule that allowed consumer class actions against banks and credit card companies. Their horrible one-at-a-time arbitration clauses are going to become enforceable again.

  98. 98.

    jl

    @Frankensteinbeck: I think the GOP establishment was nervous at first that Trump might have meant some of the populist things he said during the campaign. But soon became apparent that Trump is very ignorant, has nothing the average person would recognize as thoughts, and not enough focus to act on them even he did ave any.

    Important to remember that the GOP is full steam ahead behind many of the atrocious Trumpian urges.

  101. 101.

    eemom

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Don’t be an asshole.

    Taken as a challenge, of course. Dang, I thought you knew me better than that.

    We can control the issues we raise to our reps. Today, I went with G-C opposition, voting rights, and disaster relief.

    What a hero. #swoon

  103. 103.

    burnspbesq

    @hovercraft:

    He would never break the law!

    Maybe not, but the Rules of Professional Conduct are a whole other thing. He’s been suspended from practice twice, once while he was Chief Justice.

  107. 107.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @eemom: In the spirit of your comments, go fuck yourself. Some people care about things that you don’t. Why be an asshole when they get to a point you agree with?

    As far as the swoon comment, are you really that much of an asshole?

  112. 112.

    Anne Laurie

    @lahke: Not enough episodes for a true binge, but the one-season Forever might meet your enjoyment criteria. Dapper gentleman of mysterious origin spars with a smart, sharp NYC detective as they solve murders together… and the supporting cast / guests were top quality, too!

  114. 114.

    Duane

    The Vietnam documentary reminds me that a large portion of this country hasn’t learned a damned thing in fifty years or more.

  121. 121.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’m trying to think of what TV or movie character he reminded me of– a creepy kid who was always dressed as a cowboy for no reason

    I’m most reminded of Earl, the mentally unstable assistant of Dr. Verringer in “The Long Goodbye”:

    He stood there alone under the white floodlight, spinning his rope around him, stepping in and out of it, an actor without an audience, a tall, slender, handsome dude wrangler putting on a show all by himself and loving every minute. Two-Gun Earl, the Terror of Cochise County.

  122. 122.

    Origuy

    @Anne Laurie: As I posted above, the garments in which the sgian dubh is kept are called hose. To be thoroughly traditional, one should have a larger twin-edged blade kept under the armpit called a mattucashlass or sgian achlais. These are, of course, in addition to the dirk and broadsword which one properly leaves at the entrance to your host’s house.

  125. 125.

    Nelle

    @patrick II: She was great. On the other hand, Rose, who was passive with Bannon, constantly talked over her, interrupted her, detoured her points. It was astounding. Even my husband, no slouch at interrupting himself, found it extremely discourteous. However, she seemed unflappable and focused. So good on her.

    We’re not usually up at this hour. But my husband couldn’t settle after tonight’s episode of Vietnam, which covered the time of his arrival in Vietnam (August, 68). He says, maybe no more. He had three years (was stop lossed for the last two). He said maybe it should stay buried. So, at least Rose distracted his anger a bit.

  131. 131.

    Amir Khalid

    @Major Major Major Major:
    I used to read much of its front page. But you’re right, it’s gone way downhill in the post-Joan Walsh years. I’m unhappy with its Wilmerista infestation, and I particularly miss Patrick Smith’s presence there. (the aviation blogger, not the other guy.)

  136. 136.

    Anne Laurie

    @Origuy: You know the old joke about the difference between Scottish sword dancers and Irish dancers, right?

    The Scots have to keep their hands high in the air at all times, because otherwise they can’t trust themselves not to start randomly stabbing people.

    The Irish steppers, on the other hand, have to keep their arms rigidly at their sides… because when they raise a hand higher than their chest, they’re seized with an irresistable impulse to throw a brick.

  139. 139.

    lahke

    @Anne Laurie: Thanks! I’ll see if my TV watching buddy is up for that. (I ditched my TV in the OJ trial era, and now depend on the kindness of friends for weekly viewing, which means that it must be generally acceptable. They’re mad at me for Outlander)

  140. 140.

    Formerly disgruntled in Oregon

    @eemom: That “football shit” is about Americans standing up against tolerance of killer cops and against Donald’s arrogant, racist, authoritarian bullshit. We can walk and chew gum at the same time here at the Juice!

  143. 143.

    Anne Laurie

    @lahke: Even a tech-idiot like me can stream an awful lot of TV shows, these days. But I agree it’s more fun to watch with a friend, if you can agree on the same shows.

    For the Spousal Unit & I, the first four seasons of Elementary were good. (Phrased like that because we’re watching on DVD and haven’t seen the fifth season yet.) If you can stand the sight of some blood, we regretted that Body of Proof (Dana Delany! Jeri Ryan!) only lasted three seasons. And if you’re looking for a long-term binge, the British comedy-procedural New Tricks had 10 great seasons (and two weaker wrap-up ones — don’t tell Stuart I said that!).

  147. 147.

    NotMax

    @Anne Laurie

    White Collar had a bunch o’ seasons and was enjoyable.

    Blood goes with the territory, but Fargo didn’t disappoint in watchability.

    Still have a soft spot for the Aussie series Wild Boys, set in the 1850s. Solid acting and beautifully filmed.

    For dry humor, another series from down under, Dreamland (a/k/a Utopia) – trailer.

    And lahke, if you and friend haven’t seen it, Wonderfalls. Gobs of fun and fantastic ensemble cast.

  149. 149.

    Origuy

    @Anne Laurie: I thought the Irish kept their hands at their sides so that when the priests peered through the windows of the pub, they wouldn’t see the dancers’ feet and know that there was dancing going on.

  151. 151.

    opiejeanne

    @NotMax: We just ran across a single season show Norsemen. Laughed ourselves silly. It’s from Norway and a second season is in the works. I hope Netflix gets that season also.

  154. 154.

    NotMax

    @opiejeanne

    Not a comedy but really liked the Swedish series Real Humans Season 2 did, however, go off the rails a bit.

    @Major Major Major Major

    For off-kilter live action, Misfits. Not by any means everyone’s cuppa (and one season was a real clunker but they mostly redeemed themselves the next year).

  155. 155.

    Robert Sneddon

    @Major Major Major Major: The Monogatari series is also worth following if you’re into weird anime (elevator pitch — high school boy becomes a vampire during Spring Break, gets better). The latest chunk of the story, Kizumonogatari is only out on movie and not available on TV yet (I’ve got a ticket to see chapter 3 at an anime film festival next month).

    In other weird anime news, Fooly Cooly is getting two sequel series.

  158. 158.

    Sherparick

    Recent studies of Wisconsin, North Carolina, & Michigan show voter suppression laws worked. The hassle alone makes harder for working people to vote.

  159. 159.

    different-church-lady

    “SO DONALD TRUMP TRICKED YOU INTO HATING FOOTBALL”

    I see you in the comments sections. You claim to have loved football. You tell us the number of years you’ve been a fan. You mention the team paraphernalia you’ve bought. And then you tell us you’ve had enough, that this is a bridge too far, that you’re now leaving this thing you used to love so much.

    Guess what — you’ve been played for a sucker by Donald Trump. And probably not for the first time.

    Trump asked you to make an utterly unnecessary choice: him or football.

    And you picked him.

    So now, for no better reason than because President Insecure Egotistical Showboat had to go shooting his mouth off, you now must turn off the TV, give away those season tickets, and burn that expensive paraphernalia. And you have to give up that simple pleasure you used to have.

    Donald Trump took that away from you. Because if he had said nothing you’d still be watching those games, doing your tailgating, wearing that jersey, and enjoying your Sunday, just as you’ve done for years.

    He didn’t have to take that away from you. He wanted to. Because he demands that you love him more than you love anything else. And he will trick you into it. Just for kicks.

  163. 163.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    So football is a liberal thing now, like shopping during Christmas? The things I learn about myself.

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