Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Beware of advice from anyone for whom Democrats are “they” and not “we.”

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

The willow is too close to the house.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

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74Comments

  8. 8.

    different-church-lady

    OT: There’s this other internet hang-out I frequent (ain’t gonna say which, embarrassing that I’m hooked on such a cesspool). Today one of the very reliable wingnuts from the south said (paraphrase), “I’m going to vote for Strange, because I hate him less than Moore, but come the general I’m probably going to vote for the democrat.”

    Mind blown.

  9. 9.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    So the last two days have been a shit sandwich with a piss vinaigrette. Sunday night, 9:45 eastern time, my phone rings, an unknown number. It’s the mother of the loser manbaby who my troublesome middle daughter resides with (there are two houses on the property – her shithole and a worse shithole about 10 yards away. Middle daughter shared the worse shithole with 41 year old don’t-know-if-he-was-ever-employed manbaby. The house is in the vicinity of the Shawnee National Forest in Southern Illinois, and that entire area is economically moribund. She’s been there with him for 4 years, struggling and listening to his insane bullshit about the glories of playing music for tips and sticking it to “the man” by dropping out of the wider economy.

    Mommy goes into a diatribe about how manbaby sent her over to the small house to tell her that he’s breaking up with her, and she has to get off the property that night. Since they destroyed her car (mommy had been using it to transport her dogs and they ate the interior – along with no maintenance or oil changes), mommy conveniently offered to take her to the nearby town of Anna and put her up at a hotel for the night so we could pick her up yesterday. Problem was that middle daughter was refusing to get in a car with her, and if the girl (she’s 23, but a less than mature 23, particularly after 4 years with this loser and his mommy), and if middle daughter didn’t leave right away, mommy would call the sheriff because she “is uncomfortable having her at her house). She was yelling most about daughter locking mommy out of the worse shithole.

    Now, as you can guess, I didn’t take that well. I demanded to speak to manbaby while maintaining a slight veneer of civility, because I surmised I could at least broker an overnight truce and pick her up Monday afternoon. She said she’d have to go get him.

    Two minutes later, the phone rings (her number again – manbaby lost his phone at the punk rock commune in Carbondale where they’d been staying some on his project to music for tips). It’s mommy – he refuses to come to the phone and doesn’t want to talk to me. I advise that I’m putting on my clothes and will be there in about 4 hours’ drive time; she doubles down on the idiot sheriff talk, as if she doesn’t know who/what she’s dealing with. It is also apparent that manbaby has shared every intimate detail of things daughter has told him, because she’s trying to

    Keep in mind that the Countess has gone into a simultaneous with daughter, and we’re trying to translate and facial express what these calls are in the background.

    Anyhow, I went into full vent. It wasn’t pretty, and expressed every thought I had about him, her, their home, their lifestyle. Eventually, I got him briefly on the Countess’ call to daughter and advised that we were coming to their home to get her and a few of her items; he mewled out some fucking shit about loving us all and that they just need to not be together, which I wholeheartedly agreed with.

    Anyway, we piled into the car at 10:10 pm and drove for 4 hours or so (wife made me leave pistol at home – she said that bringing it for protection would be a “bad idea”). Along the way, we get a message that manbaby and mommy are taking the hotel room because they’re not “comfortable” being close to her (what they were doing was avoiding interacting with us – somebody was going to get the living fuck beaten out of him, and it wasn’t going to be me). Also, by now, mommy informed him of every glorious thing I said. He’s apparently shouted at the locked door and is texting her some uglies. Happily, manbaby and mommy leave.

    We arrive in the dead of night. The child has her sitar with broken strings, a guitar missing two strings (he claims to refurb guitars to sell on ebay) and her ukulele in a case in unknown condition. She has two smallish shopping bags of clothes, and a feral female cat that looks like a serval. I think most of her clothes are between the locked other hellhole and the punk rock collective in Carbondale. Also missing is her REALLY nice mandolin (a Christmas gift from me – fuckhead has probably pawned it) and her decent keyboard, stand, foot pedal and amp (also bought by me – that may be in Carbondale – when things settle down, I’ll ask),

    Anyway, we load up her meager remnants of four years along with a cat which has never been indoors (it seemed really important to her) into my hybrid sedan and drove home. Pulled into the drive at 7:40 am, and went for a full day of court.

    Fast forward to last night. Go to bed at 10:10 pm, just to get back on cycle. Manbaby has called so much and so often that daughter is hysterical and is crying so much that she wakes the Countess at 2:30 am. He wants daughter back. Every time the daughter hangs up, he calls again. There were a few conversations and lots of hang ups. Countess asks for phone and tells him to be a man for once to leave daughter alone. He replies “no” and the Countess hangs up, and comes to get me. I manage to get Verizon to say that they blocked the call, but I think he called a couple of times after (daughter was irritated with me over it, but I’m over it).

    If the stupid fuck shows up at my house to win her back, I’ve told the Countess to call 911 and request EMS assistance because I will put him in a full body cast.

  10. 10.

    Betty Cracker

    I enjoyed “A Land More Kind than Home” and the discussions around it. Since Mr. Cash is willing to endure being Photoshopped into a split maxi skirt, he is equal to this crowd at a time of his choosing!

  12. 12.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Oh, and let me add – the feral cat did great in the car, but I’m concerned about my kitten getting out or the feral getting in – this morning, it appeared that she killed and beheaded an adult rabbit. Plus, she’s not yet spayed.

  13. 13.

    rikyrah

    Trump responds to crisis in Puerto Rico in Trump-like fashion
    09/26/17 08:00 AM—UPDATED 09/26/17 08:50 AM
    By Steve Benen

    A week after Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, Americans on the island are still facing crisis conditions. As Rachel noted on last night’s show, many Puerto Ricans are still without power and water, and limited phone service is hampering emergency-response efforts.
    It’s against this backdrop that Donald Trump has focused his attention elsewhere. The president published a brief tweet last week, but was far more engaged over the weekend with athletes engaged in civil rights protests than the crisis on the U.S. territory.

    ……………………………………

    The president added that Puerto Rico is “billions of dollars in debt to Wall Street and the banks which, sadly, must be dealt with.”

    Oh. So more than half of the Americans on the island don’t have safe drinking water, and after prolonged silence, Trump decided this would be a good time to emphasize to Puerto Ricans the money they owe to Wall Street.

    Can’t you just feel the populism?

    Philip Carter wrote in Slate yesterday, “So far, the Trump administration has dispatched an anemic Federal Emergency Management Agency mission and sundry military units to assess the situation and provide support. But in some cases it took the federal government days to even contact local leaders in Puerto Rico’s major cities, let alone deploy aid. Only the most rudimentary military support is now on the ground. This is inadequate and calls to mind the lethargic response by the Bush administration to Hurricane Katrina in 2005.”

    For much of the last eight years, Republicans and assorted pundits seemed desperate to find “Obama’s Katrina,” which was foolish, and ultimately, pointless. Given developments in Puerto Rico, will those same political observers be equally quick to reference “Trump’s Katrina”?

  14. 14.

    rikyrah

    GOP health care repeal crusade runs into a brick wall
    09/26/17 08:41 AM—UPDATED 09/26/17 09:00 AM
    By Steve Benen

    Keeping up on Republican efforts to repeal the Affordable Care Act can be exhausting. Every threat of GOP success causes a degree of panic among health care advocates, which is followed by relief when those repeal bills fizzle, which is followed by a new round of anxiety when Republicans regroup and try again. And again. And again.

    ………………………..

    And yet, I’d caution against exhaling just yet.

    First, the deadline isn’t until Saturday at midnight, and while the bill certainly appears dead now, we’re dealing with unpredictable circumstances. The will among Republicans to undermine the system hasn’t faded, and as the desperation intensifies, the desire to pass something grows with it.

    Second, we don’t yet know whether there will be a vote. Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-Texas) suggested the bill is likely to reach the floor, even if its defeat is a foregone conclusion. Democrats I’ve talked to would be delighted if GOP leaders go this route: the more Senate Republicans tie themselves to a woefully unpopular bill, the better it is for their opponents. On the other hand, if GOP senators, recognizing that the bill is doomed, reject it en masse, Dems will be able to boast about the bipartisan opposition the repeal bill faced.

    And yet, Republicans may give Democrats what they want. “There are a lot of people who want to vote yes and be recorded as voting yes,” Cornyn said yesterday. “I think there is some advantage to showing you’re trying and doing the best you can.”

    This is rather bizarre. Republicans are already on record voting for repeal – see floor developments from the summer – and no sensible person can look at Graham-Cassidy and believe this is “the best” the GOP can do.

    That said, the Senate Republican conference is scheduled to meet today for its regularly scheduled gathering, at which point they’ll decide how and whether to jump off this cliff.

  16. 16.

    Betty Cracker

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: Christ on a crumpet, that’s a hell of an ordeal. Here’s hoping middle daughter moves on with her life and doesn’t take the piece of shit mama’s boy back. Also hope he doesn’t show up for the sound thrashing he so obviously deserves, since that might get you in trouble.

    I’ve learned to my bank account’s sorrow since my fledgling left the nest that kidults are even more of an expensive pain in the ass in their own residences than under a parent’s roof, and I didn’t think that was possible, nor have we experienced anything like what you have. FSM help us all.

  18. 18.

    Elizabelle

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: Jeez, I hope your daughter stays gone from manbaby.

    I’d just leave him and his mother and any possessions in the rearview mirror. You’ve got a more serious issue — why is your daughter susceptible to the “charms” of someone like that? She needs a better life, and needs to find a purpose and plan.

  19. 19.

    rikyrah

    Interior Secretary says much of his team is ‘not loyal to the flag’
    09/26/17 10:48 AM
    By Steve Benen
    Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke hasn’t been on the job long, but he’s already managed to raise his profile in ways most Interior secretaries usually don’t.
    ……………………………………………..

    Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke said Monday that nearly one-third of employees at his department are not loyal to him and President Donald Trump, adding that he is working to change the department’s regulatory culture to be more business friendly.

    Zinke, a former Navy SEAL, said he knew when he took over the 70,000-employee department in March that, “I got 30 percent of the crew that’s not loyal to the flag.”

    He reportedly made the comments “to an oil industry group.”

    I haven’t seen the full context, but based on the Associated Press’ account, Zinke reference to “the flag” was metaphorical: he was apparently talking about loyalty to the president, not the country.

    Of course, that doesn’t exactly make his comments sensible.

    The truth is, career officials at the Department of the Interior have a responsibility to be loyal to their agency’s goals and the nation’s interests. That’s kind of the point of having career officials: they stick around to do the job of governing no matter who’s in the White House.

    If Zinke is finding that a big chunk of the Interior’s longtime employees is resistant to his corporate-friendly vision for the agency, then perhaps there’s something wrong the vision, not the workforce.

  20. 20.

    rikyrah

    Have those good government groups looking into the travel of Dolt45’s corrupt Administration looked into Betsy DeVos?

    I can’t see her taking commercial.

  23. 23.

    Jeffro

    Man that looks like a great book – loved Cash’s last one!

    Hey folks, here’s some fertile ground for us: Three-Quarters of Americans Say the Tax System Favors the Wealthy

    Nearly three-quarters of Americans believe that the tax system favors the wealthy — and half of Americans believe that President Trump’s tax plan will help the rich even more, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll.

    More than 7 in 10 adults say the nation’s tax system already tends to favor the wealthy more than the middle class, with a 55 percent majority who feel this “strongly.”

    About half expect Trump’s tax plan will disproportionately benefit wealthy Americans, 51 percent, while 10 percent think it will mainly benefit the middle class, and 24 percent say it will benefit both groups equally.

    Dem candidates at all levels, you know what to do!!

  27. 27.

    Blue Galangal

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: I concur – hope she manages to cut him off and stay away from him, that is a heap of crazycakes topped with batshit icing. My sympathies to all three of you.

    @Betty Cracker: My kids (and I use the term loosely since both are now college graduates and in grad school yeehaw) get shit all the time from their friends for living at home and sharing bills with me instead of striking out “on their own,” but their aim is to get through their various degrees sans student loans. One almost moved out then realised how much it would cost him and changed his mind. EVEN SO, even at home, even with them contributing to some of the bills, kidults are more expensive than you’d think. In their own places? Yikes.

  31. 31.

    WaterGirl

    Cole, we seem to be off topic already, which immediately happened with your previous thread about the new book.

    Count me in as very interested in a chat with Wiley Cash!

    A weekend thread might be the best way to handle the time zone issue – yes, there will still be people who are working on the weekend, but at least this way we won’t have to deal with all the 9-5 people just getting out of work on one end of the country and people who are headed for bed on the other!

    The timing of TaMara’s author’s threads on Sunday afternoons at 12:30 pm Eastern Time seem to work out well. Plus, there’s the whole tie-in between authors in our midst and Wiley Cash. :-)

    Very excited about this! I can’t recall – will this thread be before or after we might have a chance to read the book?

  33. 33.

    satby

    I must be a terrible mom, because once my kids moved out I was only good for special gifts and very occasional help. I figured they’d learn how to manage their lives and money better if they couldn’t count on Bank of Mom unless it was a real emergency. Granted, we were barely in the middle class for most of their lives anyway, so their expectations were probably low.

  34. 34.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Elizabelle:

    I’m inclined to leave the possessions as well. I think I’ll see if we can scrap or donate the beater car and get her into great counseling.

  37. 37.

    The Moar You Know

    I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT I THINK I TOOK A VERY GOOD PICTURE THERE.

    @John Cole: You did, actually. I presume you were not in the process of falling and injuring yourself, which would explain the lack of blurring that is the usual trademark of John Cole, Professional Photographer.

  39. 39.

    Cermet

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: I STRONGLY second and agree with any counseling for your daughter – also, let her know that you fully support/love her and that we all have issues so counseling is exactly how we manage such difficult to handle emotional issues. Also, maybe a trigger lock for the gun and the Countess has the key?

  40. 40.

    Blue Galangal

    @satby: Nah, I don’t think you are. Just both my their dad and I are scarred for life from our student loans (which were minimal compared to nowadays) and we’re (overly) invested in helping the kids stay out of the student loan racket – he contributes $, I contribute roof over head.

  41. 41.

    Elizabelle

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    Something that has helped me through low points: volunteering, for something not stressful, but to just get out a little and do something for someone else.

    She could make and deliver sandwiches for kids and homeless, help sort donations, work with pets. Something not demanding, but will get her out of her own head, and out and about. Find a volunteer project, and go just to go. (Used to belong to a great organized group; we painted, took kids on trips, lots of options.)

    She’s got that musical talent too. Work that, but learn how to avoid the next Sid Vicious.

  43. 43.

    Mnemosyne

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    Okay, I’m going to drag something up out of your dead past here — IIRC, when you and the Countess were having some relationship difficulties, you were saying that she may have some narcissistic tendencies. If so, then that’s another reason for your kid to get into counseling — to avoid getting into another relationship where she tries to “fix” her mom through a surrogate. Your kid is still plenty young enough to work through this interlude if she’s willing to do the therapy work.

    And a completely out of the blue internet diagnosis that’s worth exactly what you’re paying for it: I suspect that this guy wormed his way in by working your kid’s insecurities about her talent as a musician, so I would encourage her to start writing some songs about her angst. It won’t be that fun for you and the Countess, but I think that will help a lot.

  44. 44.

    The Moar You Know

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: Hey, that sounds awesome. I’d like to make some suggestions that might make your life a bit easier.

    1. Get a restraining order against Jackass Boy. Not your daughter – you. You get the order. Tell ’em he threatened you, I’m sure at some point he has. Jackass Boy shows up, call the cops and have them jail his ass. Bonus points if he’s holding (yay draconian drug laws!) or decides to “make a gesture” and gets smoked in the street out front.

    2. Most states have at least a minimal 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold. If Mother of Jackass, Jackass Boy or your daughter start acting out, don’t be afraid to use that. You’d be amazed how many people settle down and stop acting like assholes when there’s a stretcher with restraints sitting there ready to go.

    3. You’re going to have to be a hardass about some things from here on out. Your daughter is in therapy, or she’s out the door and homeless. No alternatives. And you and the missus need to go as well, to learn how to set some realistic goals for your daughter if nothing else, and make sure she’s working towards them.

    I know everything I just wrote here sounds horribly heartless and probably mean as shit, but my mother was a family therapist for almost forty years and everything I just wrote I have personally seen work. The goal is not to feel good about yourself, but to fix the problems. And in your brief missive, you have got considerably more than 99 problems, which as I understand from the kids is the baseline for having a lot of problems.

    In kindness: good luck and great strength. You will need both. This will be hard and will probably not work out exactly as you’d like it, but will hopefully work out “well enough”.

  45. 45.

    Mnemosyne

    @Elizabelle:

    Since she’s a musician, I vote for finding an organization that teaches music in schools or in after-school care (like a Boys and Girls Club). It will build her confidence as a musician AND take her out of her own head since kids are pretty demanding of one’s time and energy.

    Speaking of which, it sounds like she was smart enough not to have kids with this loser, which already makes her smarter than my sister-in-law with her criminal, bipolar (now diagnosed!) boyfriend.

  46. 46.

    martian

    As a suggestion, Cole, maybe it would work well to pair a chat with Mr Cash with one of the regular BJ Writing Group posts.

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: Sympathies for the messy drama explosion. I second or third the call for counseling. This won’t be the first time manbaby has gone through the wooing and rugsweeping phase of the abuse cycle with your daughter. I hope having a break at home gives your daughter a chance to regroup, clear her head, and break the pattern.

    Possibly you already get this, but, be careful about venting to her about what a heinous shitbag her (hopefully ex…) romantic partner is lest she start needing to defend him and, by extension, defend her life choices. Let her do the emoting about it. Just let her know she deserves better.

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    @martian:

    Possibly you already get this, but, be careful about venting to her about what a heinous shitbag her (hopefully ex…) romantic partner is lest she start needing to defend him and, by extension, defend her life choices.

    Yes, this. Vent here all you want, but don’t bad-mouth the guy or say things like what do you even see in him? to avoid driving her back to him because you’ve made him the enemy. Emphasize that you want her to be happy and, while he may be a nice and talented guy (pause here to stop choking on the words), she doesn’t seem to be very happy when she’s around him.

  51. 51.

    Elizabelle

    RE thread topic:

    Excited to have Wiley Cash join us for a thread, or two. Got to see him at a book festival when the first one came out, and meet the mrs. They are wonderful people.

    Here’s Wiley’s book tour schedule. If you’re in the Carolinas, you’re in luck. At least, WRT a better chance of seeing Wiley.

    Here’s Wiley’s internet site. wileycash.com Easy peasy.

  53. 53.

    martian

    @The Moar You Know: a restraining order really is a fantastic idea.

    Also, strike while the iron is hot, Count, and see if your daughter will block manbaby on every social media platform they use. If they’re like most musicians I know, the phone is the tip if the iceberg – Insta, Snapchat, whatever else. And your daughter really needs to lock down her social media and change all passwords to EVERYTHING you can think of.

  54. 54.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Mnemosyne:

    And a completely out of the blue internet diagnosis that’s worth exactly what you’re paying for it: I suspect that this guy wormed his way in by working your kid’s insecurities about her talent as a musician, so I would encourage her to start writing some songs about her angst. It won’t be that fun for you and the Countess, but I think that will help a lot.

    That is glorious – thank you a lot!

  56. 56.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Cermet:

    Also, maybe a trigger lock for the gun and the Countess has the key?

    LOL – Between the two of us, I trust me more with the key to it than her. My rages tend to be more measured and involve calculated physical solutions to temporary problems, like with fists or a baseball bat. Hers go to off the charts crazy with no recollection afterward.

  57. 57.

    Mary G

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: I have an adopted “niece” who came to live with my mom and me to escape a loser boyfriend who except for being younger, sounds a lot like manbaby. This was in 2008 during the election. She got into therapy and after some more, but not as crazy, drama, is married to a nice guy with a job and has a darling baby girl. So it can turn around. I agree with the advice not to criticize the loser, even if you have to bite your tongue. She knew quite intimately what a dick he was, but had such low self-esteem that she heard every knock on him as “how stupid you are to be with a guy like that.”

    Excellent photo indeed, Cole.

  59. 59.

    trollhattan

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:
    Jesus, this sounds like the lost season of “Justified” only not set in Kentucky.

    I “know” these people from earlier life chapters and inlaws. You are not done with the moocher, not by a longshot, Middle daughter was a longterm mark and by extension you are now, too. Gird your collective loins and prepare for more fun. And take notes, because there’s a screenplay down the road. Good luck!

  61. 61.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @satby:

    That’s why the pistol stays in a combo locked briefcase with a trigger lock, the magazine and key to the trigger lock in another box on another level of the closet.

    Rifles are different, although I do similar things with those.

    Any use has to be very deliberate, and require thought.

  62. 62.

    Mnemosyne

    @Elizabelle:

    It was what he said about his daughter’s musical instruments being in shitty condition when he picked her up, and her nice mandolin gone missing. To me, that says that Loser Boyfriend was doing everything in his power to discourage her from making her own music while he was running around claiming that his busking for quarters was Sticking It to The Man.

  64. 64.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Mnemosyne:

    Oh, boy, an update. Youngest daughter advises that he has informed middle daughter that he is coming to our home next week.

    The Countess and I have a trip to Mexico we’ve been planning that we now have to scrap, just to be there to prevent it.

  67. 67.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @Elizabelle:

    Can’t get her to Mexico with us. Suspiciously, Mommy’s dog apparently got a hold of and shredded her passport.

  68. 68.

    J R in WV

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    Strongly thirdly recommend the restraining order, which puts the LEOs on prior notice you might need them AND who is and is NOT allowed to be where they are being called.

    Sympathy for the fix daughter is in!! We had a long and screwy encounter somewhat similar with a friend we allowed to stay in our old decrepit farm house… won’t detail it but scummy ex-con boyfriend was one actor. Glad that was a long time ago, no fallout since…. mid-1990s psychodrama.

    Counseling for all a good thing too. Take her to Mexico?…. I dunno, better to all stay on site and watch the restraining order get violated. With luck he will be in violation of several issues when he shows up, maybe even has a prior record…

    Best wishes for you daughter and the rest of the family.

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes:

    Gee, funny how these things just magically happen in abusive situations. ?

    I still vote for getting the hell outta Dodge for at least a few days. At a minimum, send the Countess and the kid off for a spa weekend while you hold down the fort and get that restraining order.

  70. 70.

    martian

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: So, you blocked him on her phone – what was the communication access point? Is she willing to shut it down, or is she the one reaching out? That rollercoaster rush of fighting and reconciliation can be addictive.

    @Mnemosyne: I also think you are so on point with that. Plus, imo, nice things, lovingly gifted by people who care and are not manbaby his ownself, probably made for uncomfortable and potentially illuminating contrasts within hovel sweet hovel.

  71. 71.

    Elizabelle

    @Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes: The dog ate my passport.

    Right.

    Another thought: you don’t want ex-boyfriend’s family pulling any identity theft on daughter, or making it hard for her. Others alluded to that upstream.

    ETA: Did someone SELL that passport? They’re not easy to shred; they are easy to lose …

  72. 72.

    Mnemosyne

    @martian:

    That rollercoaster rush of fighting and reconciliation can be addictive.

    Yep. That’s why the Count and Countess need to be very, very careful not to bad-mouth the asshole when talking to their kid. He’s trying to create a “it’s you and me against the world, baby!” narrative, and badmouthing him only plays into that. Try to keep the conversation focused on her and what she wants to do.

    Please note: I am not a psychologist or a social worker. A professional will need to be consulted at some point. I’m just someone who’s had a lot of therapy. ?

  73. 73.

    Feathers

    @Elizabelle: Be sure to include the theft of the passport in whatever restraining order you take out. (unless they can present the dog eaten document. How do they know the dog ate it otherwise?)

    A stolen passport is evidence of serious malfeasance. Daughter should file a police report on that alone, if you can get her to do it. But the consequences can be severe enough that your record of its disappearance should be in the restraining order, at a minimum.

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