My nightly ritual, shortly after feeding Steve, he informs me his meal was not enough:
He’s amazing.
by John Cole| 64 Comments
This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"
My nightly ritual, shortly after feeding Steve, he informs me his meal was not enough:
He’s amazing.
Comments are closed.
Mary G
Your house has turned into a warm and cozy home. My smart cat Shiloh got out the night before last, as he does once in a while, and was gone all day and a second night and I was worried the coyote got him. Last night he threw himself at the bedroom window, yowling at the top of his lungs, and I let him in. He bitched like that at me for a good twenty minutes.
brettvk
I guess I haven’t heard his voice before. Not what I would have predicted.
Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)
He’s very sad! And hungry!
Josie
My son has a cat named Apollo who looks and sounds just like Steve. He is also very demanding about his food and asking to be on the other side of the door.
TenguPhule
Rotating tagline sometimes is so accurate its spooky.
NotMax
Blah blah blah blah
GingerSteve.Rosalita
He had to have the last word… and he got you out of your chair which was probably half the fun
sandra
He wants “elevenses”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elevenses
But he doesn’t understand “time”
ArchTeryx
Steve looks like such a character. That strident meow of his! He sounds like a big strong boy, even if he’s constantly protesting that he’s starving to death and that his “can opener” is the Worst! One! Ever!!
It’s easy to translate meowing like that. “I’m hungry! Hear how hungry I am! Are you stupid? Are you dense? Do I need to speak louder so you can understand me? Feed me, dammit!”
RPh
Translation:
CaseyL
Is that Steve’s normal speaking voice? He sounds like a toy police car’s siren.
I love that last disgruntled sotto voce grumble.
Tokyokie
Reasoning with cats never works.
AnotherBruce
All cats are from planet cat. They long ago figured out trans planetary transportation. They are smarter than our crude ape species. The ancients who worshipped cats were not wrong. They have deeply penetrated our world. They’re are our loving freinds who just want us to get along. They promise us peace, but only if we continue to feed them. If we forget that simple request there will be a horrible wailing and gashing of their teeth!
schrodingers_cat
You have a nice voice, you should do podcasts.
debit
I am currently having the exact same conversation with Oliver. He is massively overweight and after watching him lumber up the stairs this morning I have vowed to reduce his food. Before you judge, none of my other cats are overweight. IT’S JUST HIM.
rikyrah
Hilarious ???
TenguPhule
@AnotherBruce: A truly superior species wouldn’t let us declaw them.
Gravenstone
I feel your pain. My tomcat (Draco) has a serious food fixation. And will announce in no uncertain terms that it’s time for food. And five minutes later, it’s time for more food. ad nauseum. He’s also picky as all fuck. I give them a small can of wet food in the evening to supplement the dry food buffet. He’ll deem only one flavor sufficient, for a few months. Then decide he never liked it and something simply must be done. Lather, rinse, repeat.
WaterGirl
Try giving them pumpkin in addition to their food. Helps their tummies feel more full and both of mind look much better – gorgeous coats – since I started giving them the canned pumpkin.
Drunkenhausfrau
This is such a welcome respite from the ratfuckery that is our daily news…
Thx.
AnotherBruce
@TenguPhule: Just watch out, they still have fangs, but only deploy them at night if you starve them.
Gvg
Willow barfs it up if I feed her too much at once. Tiny little meals work, if I have time several times a day. This means I have accidentally trained her to think she can be fed any time. Oops. I am training myself to limit total though. Trying to anyway.
geg6
@WaterGirl:
It’s great for dogs, too. Mine love it.
TenguPhule
@AnotherBruce:
I would debate the if part. They seem to deploy them at the drop of a meat animal’s still living footprint.
Lyrebird
@WaterGirl: Just a quick thanks for your comment on the previous thread, noting that yes at some point in life hands will genuinely accidentally bump one’s adipose tissue. I am not trying excuse skeezy behavior, just wanting to stay in reality. Also, I’ve moved a lot. I have spent time in handshake cultures, air kiss cultures, and so forth… and I’m a klutz. I have more than once kissed someone’s ear an a much too familiar way because I was aiming for that edge of their face and missed. Usually with someone who knew I had goofed rather than tried something weird on purpose.
danielx
I get a lot of that, but the kittens (now more or less grown at seven months) want to eat ALL THE TIME.
Ryanayr
This is precisely what my Maine Coon does every night and there is no negotiating with these feline terrorists
WaterGirl
@geg6: My dogs love it, too. But on day 2 one of them puked up the pumpkin on my white rug, so I backed off with the dogs. :-)
WaterGirl
@Lyrebird: Ear kisses! :-) I should introduce you to my little dog Henry. He thinks ear kisses are awesome, and he will occasionally go for eyelids. I try to tell him that’s too personal, but alas, he does not listen.
On a more serious note, you are very welcome!
debit
@WaterGirl: Interesting! Oliver will mug me when I crack open a can of pumpkin so obviously he’s already a fan. I’m going to give it a shot.
TaMara (HFG)
I use this and it helps keep everyone happy.
They like working for their food.
WaterGirl
@debit: I give my guys dry food, pumpkin and roast chicken. Some days they start in on the pumpkin, even before the chicken!
WaterGirl
@TaMara (HFG): i got something like that once but I hated cleaning it out. Too much dog slime for me. :-)
Major Major Major Major
@TenguPhule: they managed to brainwash Californians into outlawing it.
Aleta
@Josie: Same ! If ignored too long, he tries to knock pictures off the wall.
eta Though the last two years he insists much more often so I’m thinking maybe I should get his thyroid checked.
Lyrebird
@WaterGirl:
Sounds like a sweetie indeed!
Major Major Major Major
@TenguPhule:
There are other kinds?
WaterGirl
@Lyrebird: He is a lover. A friend of mine used to call him Prozac because he’s so sweet he makes everything seem better.
TheronWare
Steve is simply big boned. Please refrain from calling him fat!
Czanne
30 calories per pound per day. A cup of kibble runs between 350-500 calories. A little can of wet food (Fancy Feast size) runs 45 calories (for the FF Naturals line, which many cats don’t consider food, but is the best diet cat food) to 110 calories (the FF cheesy ones, which are considered cat junk food), with an average in the 75-90 range. A big can (5.5 ounce) runs 150-200 calories. (Wet nutritional info is here: http://catinfo.org/docs/CatFoodProteinFatCarbPhosphorusChart.pdf )
Steve’s about 15 pounds, I think, so he needs around 450 calories per day. If he’s free feeding a lot of kibble, reduce that first, because kibble is much harder on their kidneys and pancreas. He is much better off eating two big cans of Friskies a day and a couple ounces of kibble, plus kibble is easier to restrict. Kidney disease sucks ass for everyone: for the cat, it’s like having a 24/7 hangover, and for us, it means sub-q fluid and middle of the night crises, far more expense than the cost of years of wet food, and a long heartbreak. Wet food slows kidney damage, since cats don’t have a strong thirst mechanism.
TenguPhule
@Major Major Major Major: Tofu, apparently.
Saving Private Equity
I’m at the emergency vet right now having my favorite furry feline put down, after he threw a clot into his spine and became paralyzed.
This is your reminder to give as much love as you can to the furry ones in your life.
I don’t even really like cats, and this was a fucking awesome animal, I’d have traded him for most people.
It goes too fast. Shit.
debit
@Saving Private Equity: I am so sorry.
PaulWartenberg
Tunch spoke to him from Cat Heaven.
laura
@Saving Private Equity: I’m so sorry for you. That last trip eases their suffering, but leaves you sorrowful. Take care.
Just One More Canuck
@Saving Private Equity: My condolences
AnthroBabe
OMG. I also, too, have discussions with my cats Dexter and Isabelle. Mostly Dexter, because he is LOUD. I love it when I know people actually talk to their cats like I do. SQUEE
Gelfling 545
@WaterGirl: Our Flora has taken it as her mission in life to assure that every human who gets close enough has absolutely spotless ears.
mad citizen
@Saving Private Equity: So sorry to hear about your loss. Words of wisdom for sure; we lost 2 of our 4 cats this year. Have an 18.5 year old deaf female who also wants to eat canned food every five minutes.
Gelfling 545
@Saving Private Equity: I’m so very sorry. Just heard from my Granddaughter that her cat at her father’s house passed as well. Much sorrow tonight.
rikyrah
@Saving Private Equity:
Sorry for your loss ??
ET
@brettvk: that was my first thought. My second was John was arguing with a cat’s stomach and that is an eye roll worthy activity.
No One You Know
@laura: @Saving Private Equity:
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I can tell thou from experience that I’ll never have a cat put down again, after my first heartbreaking trip. Peanut Butter showed up for two weeks after that. Between my legs, the backseat of the car, and while my husband didn’t see he, he heard her. We think she was still demanding dinner.
I didn’t make up a word of that, either.
J R in WV
@schrodingers_cat:
I agree, John, you have a great broadcast voice for Radio, TV, documentary films.
I’m not sure what this podcast thing is everyone is talking about. Listening to the Innertubes, innit? I can read so much faster than folks talk. Why bother?
Love Steve, too. Of course. What a monster. Our biggest cat (13.5 lbs) has discovered how nice it is to be under the feather comforter. Warm, dark, and quiet. She can be hard to sleep with.. Wife tends to stick a foot out to cool off, and if she touches Cat, cat will bite her. All at 3 or 4 am. Owwwww! then we throw the cat out, unless it’s sleeting or something like that.
debg
@SavingPrivateEquity, my condolences. It’s so hard to lose our furbabies.
SWMBO
@TenguPhule: What about Betty’s butter lamb?
SWMBO
@Saving Private Equity: They always go too fast. Don’t be hard on yourself. And when the time is right, rescue someone else.
J R in WV
@No One You Know:
I know it was, is, hard. But we owe it to them in return for all the joy they bring us, to let them pass as painlessly as we can. Drawing out their last fatal illness isn’t a favor to them, not to anyone really.
I spent several weeks in MICU with my wife, who slowly recovered from septic shock. I saw families agree to shut down total life support, usually late at night after most of the family and close friends has a chance to be with the victim, who died one of two hours later. It was sad.
But I met a young man (to me, old guy) who’s aunt, his only relative, was on total life support, while he was living in a waiting room off in a corner, with no lights on and drapes on the windows, for folks who couldn’t afford a motel and lived 3 or 4 hours away. He had been there for a couple of months, and was still there 2 months later when wife and I went home again.
He could bear to tell them to stop, and they couldn’t stop without his permission. She was gone, but not yet really gone. Very sad. I wanted to tell him, but couldn’t . . .
It is the hardest but most valuable thing we do for our people. Let them go when it is time. And yes, you will see them, hear them, for a long time after. I still catch glimpses of cats who have been gone for years now. Because I still love them.
karen marie
@debit: Has your vet suggested you put him on a wet food only diet? My cat’s current vet and her previous vet both explained that dry food has a lot of carbohydrates, so if the cat needs to lose weight, feed wet food only — way fewer carbs. Our Gracie lost three pounds (starting weight of 13 pounds) in less than a year switching to wet food. A couple years ago I started her back on that diet, only giving her dry food when I couldn’t deal with anything more complex. She typically gets 1/2 of a normal can of cat food, with added water to make it soupy (both vets agree that cats don’t drink enough water on their own), twice a day. When she started kicking her bowl off the shelf where she eats because she was so hungry, I took her to the vet, and she was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid. Since she’s been on medication, she’s much less aggressive about her bowl being empty. Good luck with the kitty diet!
karen marie
@Saving Private Equity: I am so sorry! Lucky cat to have landed in your lap.
John Cole
@Saving Private Equity: I am sooooooo sorry.
Mnemosyne
@Saving Private Equity:
I’m so sorry. It’s hard to do even when you know it’s the right thing to spare them pain.
WaterGirl
@Saving Private Equity: I am so sorry. ::tears::
West of the Cascades
to Saving Private Equity — I am so sorry. It was about a year ago that I had to have my last cat put to sleep after 11 years together. Finally, this past Sunday – thanks to John and Steve for the inspiration – I adopted two adorable Maine Coon sisters, Sheba and Shasta, from the local CAT Adoption Team. Both of them are underweight having spent the last two years living outdoors (after the first two years of their lives indoors), but they’re settling in well and it’ll be no time before they are complaining that they’re not getting enough to eat! But for now they need to put on a few pounds. I will give them extra hugs this morning.