Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Can we lighten up on the doomsday scenarios?

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

I conferred with the team and they all agree – still not tired of winning!

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

The lights are all blinking red.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Let’s show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

This fight is for everything.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickel?”

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Excellent Links / Sometimes a Headline Says It All

Sometimes a Headline Says It All

by | 132 Comments

This post is in: 

The entire story is amazing, but some choice quotes:

Hughes’s ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that puts him miles above the Earth, where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to photograph proof of the disc we all live on.

“It’ll shut the door on this ball earth,” Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday’s flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

Hughes promised the flat-Earth community that he would expose the conspiracy with his steam-powered rocket, which will launch from a heavily modified mobile home — though he acknowledged that he still had much to learn about rocket science.

It gets better:

“This whole tech thing,” he said in the June interview. “I’m really behind the eight ball.”

***

“We want to do this and basically thumb our noses at all these billionaires trying to do this,” Hughes said, standing in his Apple Valley, Calif., living room, which he had plastered with drawings of his rockets.

“They have not put a man in space yet,” Hughes said. “There are 20 different space agencies here in America, and I’m the last person that’s put a man in a rocket and launched it.”

He compared himself to Evel Knievel, as he promised to launch himself from a California racetrack — the first step on his steam-powered leap toward space.

The Kickstarter raised $310 of its $150,000 goal.

Proving that there actually are some things too stupid for crowdfunding.

***

Speaking of turkeys, your host has about 15 people coming for dinner on Thanksgiving, so I set out today to brine the turkeys. I went with a large 25 lb turkey and one of those 10 lb deals where it is nothing but breast. I prefer dark meat myself, but most people seem to prefer breast meat, so this will do. I gathered up my cooler, scoured it and got it all nice and clean, prepped my brine and let it cool, placed the turkeys in the cooler, and began to pour in the brine at which point I noticed the DRAIN AT THE BOTTOM OF MY COOLER WAS LEAKING and I had just brined my kitchen floor.

Cleaned up, made a new batch of brine, and now the birds are soaking in a giant rubbermaid container.

On the upside, my kitchen floor is clean and the room smells of herbs.

Reader Interactions

132Comments

  7. 7.

    hellslittlestangel

    I’ll be happy to hold his beer while he heads to … the ether and Beyond!!!!!

    The most amazing thing to me is that his rocket is steam-powered. I wonder if the boiler is coal-fired.

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    his journey into the atmosflat

    I assume the story author put that last word in just to make his spell-checker cry.

    I’ve gotten some weird crank emails, but haven’t yet gotten any from flat-earth types. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time though.

  9. 9.

    Jeffro

    (glad I noted the story about this evolutionary marvel several threads ago)

    Isn’t letting this happen essentially violating assisted suicide laws?

  12. 12.

    mad citizen

    I can’t think of another instance where an imminent death is simultaneously hilarious. Certainly a shoe-in for the 2017 Darwin Award.

  13. 13.

    Skepticat

    Please name your autobiography “At Which Point …” Hilarity usually ensues shortly thereafter. Good upside, incidentally.

  17. 17.

    YellowDog

    I think he is going to find out just how flat the earth is, earn a Darwin award, and free up space in the trailer park. Win-win all around.

  20. 20.

    Cckids

    We had what my kids called “pre-Thanksgiving ” on Saturday; they have to work next weekend & couldn’t travel then. Brined our turkey (including bourbon); it was excellent. It was wonderful spending time with them, it happens too rarely now that they are out on their own.

    Now I’m helping my sister & bro-in-law get ready for their big turkey day. They will have 24 people here; I’m making dinner rolls, savory sweet potatoes with smoked paprika and manchego cheese, and a double-apple spice cake with buttered rum sauce. Yum.

  29. 29.

    MomSense

    I can’t shut off the Mom switch. An open barrel of liquid is setting off all my drowning alarm bells. Please make sure the dogs and cat can’t get to it.

    Other than that, yay Cole. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  32. 32.

    Juice Box

    @satby: I agree with JR, don’t brine, salt. It’s much easier and will produce the tastiest, juiciest turkey. I use 1/2 tsp of Kosher salt per pound. You can mix it with herbs or other aromatics. Spread it around evenly, seal it up, and let it rest in the fridge for 24-72 hours. Rinse it off and pat dry before cooking.

  34. 34.

    divF

    @Juice Box: I am almost done with a similar experiment – braised brisket that has been salted for 48 hours. Should be out of the oven in about 30 min.

  35. 35.

    Felonius Monk

    Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
    I’m feeling very still
    And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
    Tell my wife I love her very much she knows
    Ground Control to Major Tom
    Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong

    And the f*ckn earth ain’t flat.

  37. 37.

    Aleta

    Woman targeted by sheriff for her ‘f*ck Trump’ sticker is now selling them — and they’re going fast

    . According to Houston’s KHOU news station, Karen Fonseca and her kids are selling the stickers for $15 a piece — and they’re going fast.

    “I never chose to be in the news at all,” Fonseca said. “Until [Sheriff] Troy Nehls made it public on his personal Facebook page.”

    The report notes that the stickers were created by young members of the Fort Bend County Democrats who designed the decal who are now backlogged with orders for the notorious sticker. “It’s turned into this bigger thing, everything is back ordered,” Ali Hasanali, a Fort Bend-area Democrat, told KHOU. “We can’t print enough, even if they want to buy now there’s going to be a delay because we have to print a lot more up.”

    Hasanali praised Fonseca and said she has become “a rallying cry for anyone who cares about individual liberties.” He added that Fort Bend County Democrats’ sticker sales will go towards voter registration drives that will help elderly voters get to the polls.

  40. 40.

    Cheryl Rofer

    I had a brined turkey once and thought it was horrible. I get a totally plain turkey, not shot up with stuff, not kosher. Make cornbread stuffing with onion, celery, parsley, butter, and seasonings. Roast it until it’s done as shown by the little pop-out thingy. Make gravy.

    Absolutely wonderful.

  41. 41.

    Viva BrisVegas

    I’m opposed to this space launch. It’s well known that the Earth is supported by a Great Turtle. What if he ends up lodged in the turtle’s arse?

    The consequences do not bear thinking about.

  42. 42.

    SWMBO

    @Aleta: This may not end the way the sheriff intended. I hope they register enough new voters to put him out of office.

    Re True Little Rocket Man: after he shoots his rocket off, some tree will sigh and relax. It won’t have to make oxygen for stupid anymore.

  43. 43.

    jl

    The steam rocket flat earth guy is described as a ‘California man’. This is so exciting. Is my state getting ready to challenge Florida for the title, and get it back?
    It will be tough. We’ll have to do with far fewer and smaller guns. But, damn it, this is a good start.

    Edit: And good luck to Cole with the turkeys. I guess he knows what he’s doing.

  44. 44.

    cain

    I’ll be having a vegetarian thanksgiving most likely. But I plan on flexing my cooking skills. I finally got to the point where my family seems to let me cook for everyone. Which I think is a Big F*cking Deal.

    I don’t mind as long it isnt a dry dinner and I get a chance of having some good scotch.

  45. 45.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Feebog:

    He wanted a higher ratio of white meat. The second bird is “one of those 10 lb deals where it is nothing but breast.”

  46. 46.

    Tim C.

    Talk about burying the lead…. let the brine incident join with the mustard incident and the subaru in the field..

  48. 48.

    Cheryl Rofer

    @Cheryl Rofer: I read the Food Lab article on brining. My turkeys always come out tender and juicy. I was wondering why people brined their turkeys. As the article notes, it would seem that brining should dry them out still further. Maybe the salt denatures the proteins near the surface, which help to keep the natural moisture in.

    I should add that I rub the turkey with butter before roasting and baste it about every 20-30 minutes.

  49. 49.

    Matt McIrvin

    @PaulWartenberg: Evel Knievel’s “Sky-Cycle” (and the duplicate that Eddie Braun successfully jumped across the Snake River) actually was a steam rocket. It was designed by Robert Truax, who generally knew what he was doing, so the concept isn’t completely implausible, but I don’t think you can get very high up by that method.

  51. 51.

    jl

    I hope Cole let’s us know how the brined floor tiles turn out. I hear they take a very slow heat, over night, and come out tender as pudding.

  52. 52.

    MomSense

    @Cheryl Rofer:

    I do something similar. I put sage leaves between the skin and breast, fill the bird with corn bread stuffing, and rub it with olive oil and then butter. Then I baste every 20 – 30 minutes with more butter. The skin is crispy and brown and the meat tender.

  57. 57.

    dww44

    @Feebog: For one thing, Alton Brown used to say on his show that the largest turkey one should cook is a 10 to 12 pounder and to cook more than one if the number of guests mandate more turkey.

  58. 58.

    Mary G

    He lives in Apple Valley and plans to launch from Amboy’s Ghost Town, which is on the old route 66 miles from nowhere near a cool volcanic crater. Google tells me the town was listed on eBay at one point. Unless he can make it 60 miles to I-10, he won’t hurt anyone but himself, if he does launch, which I doubt.

  60. 60.

    scav

    I rather expect the earth will get around to proving the flat Mike Hughes theory.
    Geoscience marches on.

  61. 61.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Cheryl Rofer: I have always been a professional guest at Thanksgiving. I open wine, give wine to the cook/s, entertain the people in the kitchen, help keep the people who shouldn’t be in the kitchen out of it by charm and flattery…. Even when I was married, my ex and I did it as a team. Easier than hosting.

  62. 62.

    No Drought No More

    By jingo, Cole, it looks like our kitchen floors have the exact same tiles. I chose mine in part to match an old growth redwood tree I bought, had milled, and made into kitchen cabinets (and also utilized as trim throughout the house). The poor thing had perished in a fire in 1963, and years later was harvested by my neighbor (with the permission of the landowner). It already had lived a long life when Sir Francis Drake sailed by it during his famous voyage, and it has the worm holes to prove it. Anyway, you’ve got great taste, man. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours..

  64. 64.

    mike in dc

    What’s the flat-earther explanation for satellites? Do they even know high school level physics?

  66. 66.

    different-church-lady

    “It’ll shut the door on this ball earth,” Hughes said in a fundraising interview with a flat-Earth group for Saturday’s flight. Theories discussed during the interview included NASA being controlled by round-Earth Freemasons and Elon Musk making fake rockets from blimps.

    Knock it off, Doug J.

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @divF: May I make a suggestion? Let it cool towards room temperature. Then trim all the fat off and set aside. Then slice it very thin against the grain. Then place back into the juices and lay the trimmed fat back on top. Cover and put in the fridge. When you’re ready to serve pop the whole thing back in the oven and bring it up to temperature just as is. Once it’s hot, remove, remove the remaining trimmed fat (that hasn’t melted into the meat), platter, and serve. Basically you’re cooking the brisket once and then slowly confiting the brisket when reheating. It concentrates the flavors and makes the meat just melt.

  70. 70.

    Matt McIrvin

    @mike in dc: There are several explanations, which are all stupid. Some think the few that aren’t completely nonexistent are really blimps; others think they are eternally circling solar-powered drone aircraft.

    And, no, they don’t.

  73. 73.

    mike in dc

    Now that I think of it, this guy can save a bunch of money. Go out to the desert to a patch of consistently flat land about ten miles wide, where the level above/below sea level is consistent. Take a pair of high powered binoculars and track a guy with them as he walks straight away from you up to ten miles. If he doesn’t disappear from your line of sight, the earth is flat. If he does, the earth is curved. If the curvature agrees with round-earther predictions, take all the seats.

  76. 76.

    Another Scott

    @Mary G: Google tells me that he’s been saying various launches are a Friedman Unit away, and please contribute my fundraiser, since 2015.

    Reminds me of that great, unbeatable, American Supercar, due in just a few months – the Vector!!!1

    Cheers,
    Scott.
    (Who also recalls that Evel Knievel’s rocket cycle was steam powered.)

  77. 77.

    Ruckus

    The sign on the side of his rocket truck says it all. Mad Mike Hughes.
    I can’t help notice that he has the same last name as an earlier flight lunatic, if not the same budget. I wonder if he is as eccentric.

  80. 80.

    Aleta

    We went to pick up the turkey and turkey pies I ordered from a farm that changed hands recently. The pickup spot where you meet the truck is a local junk yard, and we walked around in the field and cold wind waiting for them but they were late. It’s almost a holiday custom for me, picking up a turkey from a farmer who’s handing them off his truck in the cold rain or snow, usually in the dark because sunset is around 4 pm. They are very nice turkeys though, who lived a runaround life inside and out. It turns out the new owners of the farm have had a hard year; for one thing, a barn collapsed in a big storm last winter.

    But I had to leave before they came, so I left them a note to not give my turkey away before I got back. In the end it turned out our order had been accidentally left off the truck anyway. The turkey guy was upset, but we said it’s OK; so he’s going to bring it up Monday. (About a two hour drive.). We’ll freeze it.

    There will still be a couple of turkeys at the house where we’re going; so tomorrow I’ll just make a peach pie, a nectarine pie, and something with apples and walnuts and plum sauce for the kids who have allergies.

  81. 81.

    Ruckus

    @TaMara (HFG):
    This shot reminds me of a friend who owned a business making jackets for dogs, especially small ones. She had a pug and a great dane and they came to work with her. Hilarious to see them together. Great dane was always calm and friendly, pug would act like he was going to take on the world. And win.

  83. 83.

    Felonius Monk

    @Ruckus: Check out his website. He’s launching November 25th.

    My guess is that this flat earth rocket is powered by flatulence.

  84. 84.

    Paul T

    “Heavily Modified Mobile Home” brought to mind the only Gallagher “joke” I remember.
    He wanted the USA to mount Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles on top of Winnebagoes to fool the Russkies……Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Winnebagoes, or “ICBMWs.”

    He claimed they would fool the Russians by just not telling them where they were going on vacation.

  85. 85.

    Tehanu

    @Cheryl Rofer:

    I should add that I rub the turkey with butter before roasting and baste it about every 20-30 minutes.

    That is exactly how my grandma and my mom taught me — baste it with more butter and the drippings as it goes along — and I never have any problem; it comes out tender and juicy and delicious. I can’t understand people who shove it into the oven, go off for 5 hours, and then wonder why their bird is as dry as the Sahara. Alas, certain members of my family, dear though they are in other respects, are crazy on the topic of food and we have been having the health-food Thanksgiving for the last 9 or 10 years, so I don’t get to have the T-day feast I used to have. Yeah, yeah, grateful for family closeness and all that … I’m just glad my grandma isn’t here to see what we eat now.

  87. 87.

    Ruckus

    @Matt McIrvin:
    Evil Knievel didn’t get very high with his. Nor very far. He did break a lot of bones though. I do believe that he broke the one on his shoulders long before any of the others.

  88. 88.

    Felonius Monk

    Gizmodo noted that the test launch will have “Mad” Mike Hughes and his Research Flat Earth rocket traveling at speeds of up to 500 miles per hour for about a mile, and hitting a peak altitude of 1,800 feet before it descends with the help of two parachutes. He also plans to build another rocket that will allow him to head into space and take photographs of what he sees. And while that might sound like an outrageous plan for someone without formal training in rocket building, he related to the AP that he “doesn’t believe in science” and sees no difference between science and science fiction.

    “I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust. But that’s not science, that’s just a formula.”
    Hughes added that he’s also planning to announce his California gubernatorial bid after Saturday’s launch is completed.

    According to a 2016 report from Ars Technica, “Mad” Mike Hughes is no stranger to daredevil stunts. In 2002, he made the Guinness Book of World Records by jumping 103 feet in a Lincoln Town Car stretch limo. Twelve years later, he launched a rocket over private property in Winkelman, Arizona, traveling a distance of 1,374 feet and collapsing afterward due to the impact of g-forces. All in all, Hughes required three days to recover from the rough landing.

    Those who are interested in watching “Mad” Mike Hughes’ Research Flat Earth rocket as it launches on Saturday can watch the event on “internet [pay-per-view],” as advertised on his official website. Due to safety concerns, the event will not be open to the public.

  89. 89.

    Ruckus

    @Felonius Monk:

    My guess is that this flat earth rocket is powered by flatulence.

    How does the flatulence get out of Mad Mike? I would think that him being so full of shit would have plugged up the escape avenue.

  91. 91.

    BBA

    People are entitled to their aeronautical proclivities. Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom, as far as I am concerned. But I ain’t spending any time on it because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland.

  92. 92.

    Ruckus

    @Duane:
    He’s not plain old nuts. He’s a fucking moron.
    Not that you don’t have a point but I was going for the name connection eccentricity.

  93. 93.

    SectionH

    @TaMara (HFG): The Ellie and Dani (?) video is so cute. I saw it hours ago, because it showed up on my rec’d Youtube email with the latest Doctor Christmas Special teaser. No, really. Well, I subscribe to about 3 feeds – debit’s might be the third. I’m veryvery picky.

  94. 94.

    Felonius Monk

    @Ruckus: I’ve got a feeling that after Saturday’s launch we won’t being hearing anything more from Mad Mike.

    Wonder how much the pay-per-view is. Might be interesting watching the herd being thinned.

  95. 95.

    Aleta

    I think I went on two dates with Hughes’ spiritual brother about 30 years ago in SF. During the day he worked as a engineer for Swiss Air and (I learned during the date) at night he was building a flying saucer he’d designed. He’d also invented a machine to give his brain electric shocks so he wouldn’t need to sleep. He had complete confidence that he would fly. He showed me his pages of figures and specs.

    On the second date we figured out it wasn’t me he was looking for. I don’t know what happened to him and the air ship. I’ve never forgotten the amazing Irish coffees we drank at some Mexican restaurant high up a twisting road, with an incredible view down below. He said they and the electroshocks were his nightly fuel. When I go to the Bay area I always try to figure out where that restaurant was, or find someplace with Irish coffee that good, but I never do.

  98. 98.

    feebog

    @dww44:

    Adjust your sarcasm meter. I don’t think a 35 pound turkey could even stand up. I often smoke my holiday turkeys, and 12 to 14 pounds is about the max. Going to my Brother-in-Laws as usual Thursday. My only jobs will be to drink wine and carve the turkeys.

  104. 104.

    Steve in the ATL

    @Aleta:

    I think I went on two dates with Hughes’ spiritual brother about 30 years ago in SF. During the day he worked as a engineer for Swiss Air and (I learned during the date) at night he was building a flying saucer he’d designed. He’d also invented a machine to give his brain electric shocks so he wouldn’t need to sleep. He had complete confidence that he would fly. He showed me his pages of figures and specs.

    On the second date

    You went on a SECOND date with this guy?!

  108. 108.

    Anne Laurie

    @Felonius Monk:

    I thought that rocket looks like an ACME.

    True story: There is an Acme, Michigan (outside Traverse City, in the upper Lower Pennisula). Spousal Unit grew up there.

  109. 109.

    Aleta

    @No Drought No More: When a beautiful old tree goes down it really gets me that usually the homeowners don’t make something out of the wood. Especially now that there are those portable sawmills that can come right to a house.

    Right now there’s a 60 ft ash that was uprooted in a storm weeks ago. Magnificently straight looking wood. Still lying there; I guess it will be taken and sold to a mill. But seems like the thing to do would be at least make some shelves and have the tree stay on where it grew up.

  116. 116.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    I’m trying a dry brine this year on the rec of a guy I trust – I have wet brined in the past with good results. It’s going on the grill this year.

    Cole I hope you are keeping those birds cold – I know everyone is doing low and slow these days but 68 degrees for 48 hours is a little too low and a little too slow.

  117. 117.

    Booger

    @hellslittlestangel: Judging from the youtube video of a test-firing, it’s likely fueled with high-test hydrogen peroxide over a metal catalyst ,which actually produces a whole lot of very hot steam very fast. It’s also fairly fool-proof, which is helpful because this looks like the work of a high-test fool.

  121. 121.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Cheryl Rofer: I’ve been wondering just how much of the modern and suddenly anomalously popular flat-earth movement is a Russian troll creation. I definitely think they’re egging it on. Many of the practitioners seem to be free-floating conspiracy nuts and anti-Semites of the type who are sometimes fictitious troll characters.

  122. 122.

    The Pale Scot

    and now the birds are soaking in a giant rubbermaid container.

    Egad!, For a moment I thought this was Anne Laurie and she was talking about her ducks!

  123. 123.

    The Pale Scot

    @mike in dc:

    What’s the flat-earther explanation for satellites? Do they even know high school level physics?

    The Wondaland crew demonstrates;

    Janelle Monáe – Tightrope

    Note the blu ball at :09

  124. 124.

    TenguPhule

    @MomSense:

    Then I baste every 20 – 30 minutes with more butter.

    There’s your problem right there.

    Once the bird is in the oven, you leave it in there with the paper bag covering it.

    You do not open the oven until the cooking is done.

  129. 129.

    Fred

    Flat earthers have got to be the ultimate conspiracy theorists. I mean everybody is in on it. All the energy that has been put into convincing… everbody who is in on the conspiracy that the ridiculous idea that the world is anything but what it obviously is. FLAT! FLAT! FLAT DAMMIT!!!!!
    Enjoy your Thanksgiving Everybody.

Comments are closed.