Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

Come on, man.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

We still have time to mess this up!

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

Republicans in disarray!

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Motown is Joe-Town!

People are weird.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread And Signs of Life

Open Thread And Signs of Life

by | 107 Comments

This post is in: 

Folks,

I just wanted to pop in and let people know that I’m OK. As an only child in a small family, I’ve had to take care of crazy amounts of detail to plan my mom’s funeral, etc., which will be next week. I’ll post her obit Friday.  I’m still wracked with grief, unable to do much besides plan things and cry.

As I finish the last few details and prepare for Thanksgiving, I wanted to thank all of you for your kindness, love, and support. This community is a major part of my world and, although I’ve been mainly absent this month, I plan to return to some sense of normalcy once we get into December.

Here is my mom, age 16, at her debutante ball at Versailles (AP photo, 1951). She had just graduated high school, awaiting the fall semester at Vassar. Not bad for a girl who was born in Idabel, Oklahoma!

 

Open thread, and Happy Thanksgiving to all. I’m off to the florist, printers, and grocery store.

Reader Interactions

107Comments

  4. 4.

    CarolDuhart2

    Peace and light to you, Alain.

    If we can help in any way, let us know.

    Also my first Thanksgiving without a refrigerator. It died last week, and the closest thing I will have to a replacement will be Saturday, when I will get a used one.

  5. 5.

    rikyrah

    Your mother was beautiful. Been thinking of you, Alain, and hoping that you were healing slowly. I know this is a difficult time. Come back on your own timetable.

  6. 6.

    Svensker

    Your mom was stunning. So sorry to hear about your loss — it is really hard to lose your mom. I still miss mine almost daily 25 years later. But the grief grows less heavy and the wonderful memories remain.

    Peace to you.

  9. 9.

    realbtl

    Good to hear from you Alain. As another only child who had to go through the whole end of life stuff with my mom and aunt I sympathize.

  11. 11.

    O. Felix Culpa

    She’s beautiful. What wonderful memories for you. Sending strength to you as you work through all the details.

  12. 12.

    Spanky

    What Svensker said. And Uncle Joe, in a different way. You don’t exactly recover from loss, but you adjust to it.

  16. 16.

    rikyrah

    Trump is going to publicly fight with as many black people as possible. It’s the closet he can get to fighting w/ Obama in his eyes.

    — deray (@deray) November 22, 2017

  17. 17.

    eric

    Alain, I missed the news….I am so sorry and I wish your heart fond remembrances of your mother while you grieve her loss. She did well with you. Peace and light to you.

  20. 20.

    Leto

    @HeleninEire: Echo’ing this.

    Come back when you’re ready. Everyone will be here with open arms waiting for you. Sending peace, kindness, and posi thoughts your way.

  24. 24.

    Barbara

    Your mom was beautiful and the picture itself is stunning. Wishing you peace and happy memories through the holidays.

  25. 25.

    Amir Khalid

    From what I know, 16 is young for a high school graduate. Your mother was as smart as she was lovely. Come back whenever you feel ready. Many of us here have been through this too, and understand that it takes as long as it takes. We look forward to welcoming you back.

  27. 27.

    sharl

    Beautiful Mom is beautiful.
    It’s good to hear from you Alain. My condolences to you.

    [I still remember being in a numbed mental fog while working on arrangements for my Mom’s funeral almost eight years ago (at least we had professionals do the heavy lifting, and I’m glad we did that, and could afford it).]

    It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, because stating the obvious is my Superpower: do what you need to do and take whatever time you need to take; you’ll get a hearty welcome whenever you come back on a regular basis.

  28. 28.

    TaMara (HFG)

    Alain, you know I’m sending you big hugs. Your mom was beautiful and I am so sorry for your loss. Make sure to take time to take care of yourself during this. And we’ll be here for support, as needed. <3 [[hugs]]

  31. 31.

    hedgehog the occasional commenter

    What a beautiful and accomplished woman–thank you for sharing her with us. As so many have said, peace and light to you. And from one only to another, my deepest sympathy and understanding.

  32. 32.

    DCrefugee

    Thanks for checking in, Alain…

    December will be the 10-year “anniversary” of my mother’s passing. January will be the 20th year since my father passed, and like you, I’m an only child.

    That void can never be filled, but it does get smaller. So sorry for your loss…

  34. 34.

    Doug R

    Lost my mom last month. Don’t be afraid to cry once in a while. Don’t be afraid to lean on your friends including us here. Your mom is beautiful and it looks like she had a good life.

  35. 35.

    JanieM

    Sad for you, Alain. Thanks for taking the time the check in and give us that picture — she’s so very lovely! As everyone says, it will take time to adjust to losing her, but the fact that you were so close is a treasure in itself.

  37. 37.

    Juju

    What a lovely picture. I missed the sad news about your mother. I’m so sorry. I can only echo what Don has said, I send positive thought and peace to her memory.

  40. 40.

    kindness

    Condolences. I for one am very thankful for the site fixins that go on around here. Thank you. We wish you and your family the best in this dark time.

  42. 42.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Belated condolences. I missed the news of your mom’s passing earlier.

  45. 45.

    Drunkenhausfrau

    Wow! What Gretchen said. That must be a great story!

    May your beautiful memories bring you comfort in your sorrow.

  47. 47.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Alain. What a great picture — she looks both proud and that she belongs there.

  48. 48.

    SFAW

    @rikyrah:

    Senator Chris Coons talks with Rachel Maddow about his effort to get answers from the Trump administration on why key U.S. attorney Dana Boente was pushed out of his position.

    No doubt The Turtle will launch a full-blown inquiry.

    Into Coons’s efforts, that is. ‘Cause he sure as heck will not have the Current Occupant investigated — at least, not until Turtle gets his War On America tax increase signed into law. And even then.

  49. 49.

    Joy in FL

    I’m glad you checked in. The photo of your mother is lovely.
    May your grief be mixed with good memories and much kindness.

  50. 50.

    Betty Cracker

    Wow, your mom was absolutely gorgeous! I would also like to hear the story of how she got from Idabel to Versailles — if and when you’re ready to share it. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, and take comfort in the fact that your mom loved you very much and knew you loved her too. That’s important, and you get to keep that love — it is yours.

  51. 51.

    spudgun

    Wow, your mother is stunning in that photo!

    So glad to hear from you today. I’m glad you’re hanging in there and making your mother proud. So very sorry for your loss…

  52. 52.

    randy khan

    Such a lovely picture.

    While I know we all want you back, I think we also know you should take as much time as you need.

  55. 55.

    Johannes

    What a lovely picture, and what an intriguing life story your mother lived. You and she and your whole family are in my prayers.

    All the best to you from la Caterina and me.

  57. 57.

    narya

    Sending kind thoughts your way. The first year is hardest–each holiday or anniversary that year is a fresh pain. I’m lucky in that my parents are both still alive (at 87 and 82!), but my sister died 34 years ago, and the first year was so difficult.

  60. 60.

    JanieM

    @Gretchen: @Betty Cracker: Thirding the request for some of your mom’s story, if/when you ever feel like telling it. I love hearing how people got from here to there to there to there….and how, for each of us, those many pathways of our forebears ended up with … us. Also on pathways, of course.

  61. 61.

    J.

    Good luck with everything, Alain. And thank you for sharing that stunning photo of your mother. She was a beauty, and she has an amazing-sounding son.

  63. 63.

    MoxieM

    Such a lovely person–she must have been lovely inside as well, to have mothered you, Alain. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    I have no parents anymore, they’ve both been gone quite a while. I can tell you that the sharp edge of grief does pass, and you will hold on to the memories that matter. My dad died nearly 30 years ago, and I remember him fondly every day.

    Your mom and her sweetness will live on in you.

  64. 64.

    Radiumgirl

    Peace be with you Alain. My condolences for your loss, and thank you for your work on this blog. I ready it regularly and find it a refuge amid the madness that is public discourse in America.

  69. 69.

    rikyrah

    When Even the GOP House Leaders Said Putin Was Paying Trump
    by Martin Longman November 21, 2017

    As I was perusing the New York Times article on Rep. Dana Rohrabacher’s woes, I was reminded that back on June 15th, 2016, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy was captured on tape confiding with Paul Ryan, Evan McMullin, and others that he “swore to God” that Vladimir Putin was paying Rohrabacher and Donald Trump. When the recording leaked, the House leadership tried to explain it away by saying it was just an attempt at humor. But McCarthy was serious and Ryan immediately swore everyone present to secrecy.

    Some of the lawmakers laughed at McCarthy’s comment. Then McCarthy quickly added: “Swear to God.”

    Ryan instructed his Republican lieutenants to keep the conversation private, saying: “No leaks. . . . This is how we know we’re a real family here.”

    The remarks remained secret for nearly a year.

    ………………………………………..

    I want to do a little something here that I think will help you visualize the moment in time when McCarthy said Trump was being paid by Putin and Paul Ryan swore everyone to secrecy. That meeting occurred on 6/15/16, but I want to extend the timeline a bit in both directions so you can see what was going on and put McCarthy’s comments into their proper context.

    We’re going to be looking at a pretty consequential two-week period of time. It’s important to know that just prior to the start of our timeline here, on May 26th, Trump finally secured the majority of the GOP delegates he needed to win the nomination. Also, you should know that on June 3rd, WikiLeaks created the torrent for their insurance file which included the DNC hack. So, we know that WikiLeaks had the material by that date, even if the public would not see it until later. Also on June 3rd, Rob Goldstone first contacted Donald Trump Jr. by email, and offered assistance from the Russian government.

  70. 70.

    geg6

    Oh, Alain, your mother was just so lovely. My thoughts have been and will continue to be with you. Peace.

  71. 71.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Alain, my deepest condolences. I am 71, my dad died young, only 62, my mom made it to 82, but she has been gone for about 15 years now. After she died, I basically thought of my self as 60 plus year old orphan. When you have parents who cared for you so well, and whom you loved so deeply, it is hard to see them go.

    Oh, and I thought of you last week while upgrading my three WordPress blogs and MySql on my server for YET ANOTHER CRITICAL VULNERABILITY.

    Good that you have chosen such a stress free profession.

  73. 73.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Your mom was stunning, Alain! Glad that you’re getting through the pain of loss and seeing your way clear to honoring her by carrying on!

  74. 74.

    Mel

    What a beautiful Mom. She has such grace and warmth and calm, dignified confidence in that photo! To be that person at just 16 years old – she must have been an amazing woman.

    Please, please take good care of yourself while you are taking care of the arrangements for your Mom, and afterwards. It’s hard sometimes to even think about the simple necessities in the face of such a loss, and all that happens so quickly afterwards.

    Rest when you can. Remember to eat regularly. Just know that you being well and looking after yourself as you find your way through this would be the thing your Mom would want above all else.

    You and your family are in my thoughts. My heart goes out to you all.

  75. 75.

    glory b

    @sheila in nc: I was reminded of Heburn too!

    I lost my father two years ago in March. Like everyone here says, you will adjust, but the empty spot doesn’t go away.

  76. 76.

    LaNonna

    Che bella! What a gorgeous picture, and again, condolences on her loss. I am jealous of others who get to know their parents as adults, both of mine were gone before I was a teen, some of that pain never goes away.

  80. 80.

    trollhattan

    Oklahoma to Vassar by way of Versailles, if I had a nickle for every time I’ve heard that I’d have five cents. I hope you’re finding peace Alain, as others have said the feelings don’t ever leave but they do eventually take their place in a kind of new normal. When the time comes I do hope you’re able to share your amazing mom’s story.

  81. 81.

    middlelee

    @Gretchen:
    What Gretchen said. I’d love to read your mother’s story Alain. She was beautiful and obviously accomplished and raised a gentle, kind man whose BJ contributions I always look forward to.

  82. 82.

    Lizzy L

    Alain, I wish you peace and comfort in this difficult time. May your memories of your mother be a blessing in your life.

  83. 83.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    Alain, stay strong, laugh, cry, and try to be the man and live the life your mother would want for you.

    Your work is appreciated! But BJ will be here when you get back. You may have other priorities for a bit.

  84. 84.

    mvr

    My condolences Alain. Loosing a parent is not an easy thing. I hope the kind and grateful thoughts of the people here will be of some comfort.

  86. 86.

    Tazj

    Your mom was gorgeous! Like others here, I look forward to hearing about her life, if you want to share.

    Take it easy and take care of yourself and your family, you know your mom would want you to.

  87. 87.

    blackcatsrule

    I saw the picture before reading even the title of the post, and thought it was Audrey Hepburn. I look forward to reading her obituary; I’m already fascinated by her life just from this post!

    Good thoughts continue to go to you, Alain.

  88. 88.

    dww44

    @Juju: I, too, missed the news of your Mom’s death.So sorry for your loss. My Mom died 6 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t remember a special saying of hers nor recall a vivid memory of her when she said it. May your memories all be good ones.

  90. 90.

    Elie

    I wish you healing but also the awareness of how the love you have for your mother is eternal – and what that means. What “no end” means as the energy of it continues to light your life. Peace. You are so fortunate, as I have been, to have this

  94. 94.

    tobie

    Alain, Your mother looks absolutely ravishing in that photo. I hope you will tell us the story that goes with the picture some day. For now I send you my condolences. Enjoy the memories, your mother’s spirit lives in you that way.

  95. 95.

    Zoey2020

    Condolences, Alain, on the loss of your beautiful mother. I love the photo, one delicate foot poised just above the step, as if life itself was waiting for her: perfect!

  96. 96.

    Patricia Kayden

    Sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing, Alain. Sending warm thoughts your way. She was gorgeous.

  97. 97.

    StringOnAStick

    Peace and love to you. i know from stories you have told that she both loved you deeply and was very proud of you; you’re a good son. We’ll be here when you are ready to return and we are hopefully some support for you as you need it.

  98. 98.

    H.E.Wolf

    You and your mother have been much in my thoughts these past weeks. My deepest sympathies to you – may the memories of your wonderful mom be a blessing to you always.

  99. 99.

    Mary G

    I’m very late to the thread, but just wanted to let you know your mother looks so composed in that photo that it makes me laugh knowing what a mess I was at 16. The first and second holidays after a loss are so hard. My mom died on Oct.22 and I don’t even remember that Thanksgiving, but the Christmas and the Thanksgiving of the next year were tough.

  100. 100.

    gammyjill

    Alain, I’ll echo the thoughts of many of the posters here. Your mom was beautiful and I’m sorry for your loss. Come back when you’re ready.

  102. 102.

    Suburban Mom

    What a beautiful and exceptional woman! I am sorry for your loss and wish you healing and peace.

  103. 103.

    Denny

    Very sorry to hear of your mothers passing. I grew up in OK and didn’t even need to check a map to know where Idabel was.

  104. 104.

    Argiope

    I’m late to this thread, but de-lurking to tell you how sorry I am for your loss, Alain. As so many others have said, your mother must have been extraordinary. Seems like this went quickly from a diagnosis to her passing; you must be reeling. Please take time to care for you, and know that many jackals you’ve never met– but have nevertheless touched– are holding you in the Light.

  105. 105.

    stinger

    She is so beautiful. What an interesting life she must have led! I hope some day you’ll share more stories. I’ve been thinking of you as the holiday season approaches, Alain, and wishing you peace.

  106. 106.

    J R in WV

    Alain,

    Repeating everyone else’s condolences. Now that I stop and compute, my Mom died 20 years ago last month. My Dad died in November 2004, on election day, so 13 years ago this month. I’m 66 now, with a gray beard, and many younger folks want to cal me Mr Lastname. For a while I would look around for the father/uncles named Mr Lastname, but I got over that.

    The pain fades, but the memories never do.

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