Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Second rate reporter says what?

Their freedom requires your slavery.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Infrastructure week. at last.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

Why did Dr. Oz lose? well, according to the exit polls, it’s because Fetterman won.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

I was promised a recession.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This fight is for everything.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / My Favorite Holiday

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120Comments

  1. 1.

    No Drought No More

    You sound like you know what to do, and are doing it: “boy, that smells good”; “sit down and relax for a minute, you’re working too hard”; and lastly, “Can I help with anything?”. Needless to say, choose when to ask that at an opportune moment; i.e., when nothing needs doing in the kitchen. Finally, take pride in setting and helping to clear the table, because then you will have done all you could to make it a nice Thanksgiving for everyone, especially yourself.

  5. 5.

    Nicole

    Looks beautiful! We are having a very small Thanksgiving- in fact, I think the main course is going to be chicken. Which is fine; I have never really liked turkey (although I love me some deep fried turkey gone wrong videos). It’s nice to be with family, though. I spent the morning helping my aunt muck out stalls in the cold and couldn’t have been happier to do it.

  8. 8.

    Rosalita

    I like the dog show. Wish they had more dogs and less commercials though.

    I’m having my parents and a few of my single cat ladies (shelter friends) for dinner. Happy Thanksgiving to the Juicer family. ?

  9. 9.

    Cheryl Rofer

    This is my first Thanksgiving with Ric and Zooey. Ric has figured it out.

    The humans talk blah blah blah about the meaning of Thanksgiving. That’s the way humans are.

    But cats know that Thanksgiving celebrates the victory of small mammals over the dinosaurs.

  10. 10.

    Waratah

    We just returned home from early lunch at a steak resturant, with a lot of leftovers. We order medium rare so can warm up leftover steak without over doing it. My daughter called it Texas turkey. I think I could get used to this.

  16. 16.

    Raven

    I came up from the beach for a couple of hours to get stuff ready. Dressing is baking, spuds simmering and I’ll put the bird in right before I go back to fish until sunset (4:30 here).

  21. 21.

    MattF

    Pies are baked. turkey is in the oven, we will eat in about five hours.

    Did everyone know that if you forget the pies in the oven— the pies will “remind” you that they are baking by overflowing and producing copious smoke?

  22. 22.

    JMG

    My son being here reminds me of the Thanksgiving after he was born, birthday being Nov. 16. Being young and really stupid, Alice and I invited a couple whose wife was seven months pregnant over for Thanksgiving. Now Josh was a very cranky crying baby for the first sixth months of his life. But for the entire dinner he was a sleeping little angel infant, giving the couple some illusions about their future as parents. The minute they left, he cranked it up again and squalled most of the night. Ever wash dishes in relays while the other tries to comfort a crying baby? No fun. Anyway, the next year we had dinner at their place, and the now more experienced mother of the couple asked, “tell the truth now. Did you drug him last Thanksgiving? And if so can we have some?

  24. 24.

    J R in WV

    @Cheryl Rofer:

    OK, you were so correct that you should never try to do a pineapple upside down cake with fresh pineapple. The bottom half is still liquid, and the top came out all bumpy and weird looking. I don’t dare try to invert it, I would get molten cake batter and pineapple juice all over me and the floor,…

    I know when I pulled out the oven shelf after the time beeped I was screwed, because it was toasty brown (though unevenly so) and sloshed back and forth. Ugly.

    Can’t speak to the taste, raw batter is such a large part of the monster.

    Thanks for the advice, my bad for not seeing it before I assembled the final product for baking.

    Take heed all Balloon Juice cooks:

    NEVER MAKE A CAKE WITH FRESH RAW PINEAPPLE…. NEVER NEVER!!!!</blockquote>

  25. 25.

    Raven

    Shithead is running his mouth to the military about how we are “winning” like never before since he’s unleashed then. If I’m Charlie I’m going to jump our ass somewhere in spectacular fashion most rickey tic.

  27. 27.

    amygdala

    The relatives I usually spend Thanksgiving with are away this year, so I’m having a quiet T-day, which has been lovely.

    Heading out of the country this weekend, and don’t have freezer space for lots of leftovers, so making a Shepherd pie, except with chicken stew, rather than lamb or beef, and dressing. Where has toasting bread for dressing in the regular oven in sheet pans been my whole life? So much faster than the toaster oven. I’ve got cranberry sauce and relish in the fridge, and some kabocha squash I roasted earlier this week. Festive, but I should be able to move afterwards. If I’m not too sleepy, might catch a movie later.

    Almost done getting ten batches of cookie dough for Christmas baking safely in the freezer, too.

    Thank you, John, for this community. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

  28. 28.

    scav

    Huzzah! First pheasant sighting in days in the back yard! Seems only appropriate somehow. Don’t think it’s windy enough to roll any loose pumpkins through same (although the neighbors’ homegrown ones are sitting loose on the porch next door).

  29. 29.

    Suzanne

    I am loafing in front of the dog show, too. LOVE IT. I am always a fan of the Siberian Huskies, as I have had three,

    John O’Hurley helpfully pointed out, “They DO shed.”

    GOD.

  37. 37.

    Mnemosyne

    We made my favorite thing for Thanksgiving this year: reservations. ?

    G already called his mom and I still need to call mine. My brother is probably still in his pajamas watching football, and his wife is relieved not to have to cook.

  38. 38.

    Suzanne

    I like Brussels sprouts. Took a while, because my grandmother made them when I was a kid and they were vile. I might actually like them with macaroni and cheese.

  39. 39.

    Mnemosyne

    We are also patting ourselves on the back for not cooking this year because it’s going to be 95 degrees today. Who needs the oven to be on all day?

  42. 42.

    lamh36

    Happy Thursgiving BJ.

    I’m at home today, no family dinner. I’m not feeling well and am a bit tired and not up for a family gathering. Sis may drop me off some leftovers, but who knows.

    So I’m sitting here watching tv and gettin ready to cook me something quick.

    Right now watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on one of the nets.

    Mahn look…Wille Wonka & the Chocolate Factory was weird enough. But the remake Charlie & the Chocolate Factory is WEIRD AF!!! And looking back at this now, it’s NOT as much fun as the original. Its downright cruel and a bit scary…smh. And those Oompa Loopm songs are shite!

  44. 44.

    MomSense

    Happy Thanksgiving, Jackals! I wish you could all be here with us. Last night we attended an amazing concert with my kid’s band. Lots of dancing and fun. Today I’m cooking with the help of a bunch of trump orphans, the pup is enjoying treats and skritches, and we have kids playing music – everything from Rachmaninoff to Chuck Berry. Right now there are keyboards, guitars, harmonicas, and many voices singing.

    Once the holiday is over, we all have to get in peak fighting form because these young people are beautiful and worth fighting for.

  45. 45.

    schrodingers_cat

    @J R in WV: If it helps the slow cooker cake, I made last Sunday was a disaster. It was underbaked. BTW also too, never use fresh pineapple to make a yogurt smoothie, the yogurt disintegrates and you are left with a bitter mess.

    ETA: I tried to combine two recipes and botched the final product.

  48. 48.

    ruemara

    Pretty quiet here. The kittens played all morning, ate, played, were snuggled. The humans had pumpkin pancakes with fresh raspberry compote & dark chocolate. I’m watching the dog show before I make biscuits. He’s walking around the house playing guitar & singing. When he’s in troubadour mode, he’s happy. Dinner comes later when we go plop ourselves in front of my friends’ table. I made pecan pie, cranberry chutney & possibly some butter sage rolls. He’s making scalloped taters, so I guess I should move my butt.

    @Mnemosyne: I’ve been doing those too & they’ve been so helpful.

  50. 50.

    Steve in the ATL

    @debbie:

    Hold the mac & cheese and bring on the bacon!

    Can’t argue with that!

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Why is mac and cheese so popular? its like bland baby food to me.

    That’s why you add asparagus, brussels sprouts, and bacon

  51. 51.

    MomSense

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I’m a fan of Mac n cheese – but not at Thanksgiving. As it is my dad is giving me crap for serving peas. Peas and salmon are supposed to be served at Fourth of July – but nothing green ever at Thanksgiving.

  53. 53.

    narya

    Started off the day with a 5k–and then the wind blew my beer over before I could drink it.

    Came home and started finishing up the cooking: Sweet potato torte in the oven. Brussels sprouts (shallots, s/p, balsamic, oil) are done, cauliflower (lemon, garlic, raisins, almonds onions) will be done in awhile–the cauliflower is already a bit roasted, so shouldn’t take long. Downstairs neighbor/friend is making the turkey, dressing, gravy, and cranberry sauce. Cheese puffs are done, rolls are done. I made three desserts: a cranberry tart, a lemon walnut poundcake that will get a lemon drizzle, and pumpkin flan with maple caramel and gingered sugared pecans. Someone else is bringing mac & cheese. There will be food for 12-15, but only 6 people coming, so . . .

  54. 54.

    scav

    mac and cheese is only as bland as you let it be, even if you restrict youself to cheddar. There are some solid cheddars.

  56. 56.

    HeleninEire

    I am grateful for being old. “With age comes wisdom.” Dunno who said that but it is absolutely true. Also, with age comes “I don’t give a flying fuck what you think of me.”

    Had a girlfriend in NY say (before I moved here, about how you look) “Hey, if I am smiling and naked, he should be happy.'”

    Also too. My mother died at 37 years old. Last Sunday was the 43th anniversary of her death. Never occurred to me I would live this long. In fact I woke up on my 40th birthday and said out loud to no one “Oh holy crap, I’m alive.”

    Life is good.

  58. 58.

    J R in WV

    @Cheryl Rofer:

    So it’s been cooling off, but still sloshes a little. Totally not edible. Very strange. If it wasn’t Ceremonial Day I would be more interested in how and what happens, but as it is, just yetch!

    But I made cranberry sauce with pecans, Chinese 5 spice and apple brandy. No OJ so fresh squeezed lemon. Then did deviled eggs, which for once peeled easily, with most yolks centered for easier stuffing. I’m sure the turkey and stuffing is right on schedule next door. Will call and inform AM about the terrible awful pineapple cake.

    Worse than I could imagine…

  59. 59.

    Mnemosyne

    @HeleninEire:

    Also too. My mother died at 37 years old. Last Sunday was the 43th anniversary of her death. Never occurred to me I would live this long. In fact I woke up on my 40th birthday and said out loud to no one “Oh holy crap, I’m alive.”

    My mom died when she was one year older than yours, at 38. That day when you realize you’ve lived longer than your mother did is a very weird one. I’m glad I was already in therapy for it.

  60. 60.

    Mary G

    Buzzfeed put up a transcript of Twitler’s remarks to the Coast Guard:

    I really mean that, I think that there’s no brand of any kind, I don’t just mean a military brand, that’s gone up more than the Coast Guard. Incredible people. You’ve done an incredible job. I love coming in here and doing this with you today. I think it’s — we have to keep you very well fed. This is good stuff. It’s an honor. This is the first lady, you know.

    [Melania Trump: Happy Thanksgiving.]

    We went together to Texas. We saw what you were doing. You just followed that storm, right next to that storm. You saved so many people. I still haven’t figured out how people take their boats out into a hurricane. Some day you’ll explain it. Jean was just telling me they actually do it to to save their boat in many cases. They’re not thinking about their life. They’re thinking about their boats. They go out in a boat and think think they have a wonderful boat. They’ve had it for years. It can weather anything and then they have 25-foot waves crashing down. And that would be the end of that. You saved a lot of people. I want to thank you. On behalf of the whole country and on behalf of us, what a job you’ve done. Thank you very much.

    and the ending:

    Let’s go, fellas. Come on. Let’s get up here. Let’s get up here. Yeah. This is good stuff.” Trump then served sandwiches.

    Sandwiches! It’s straight out of Firesign Theater.

    I can’t go to my friends today because I am coughing like crazy, but they will bring leftovers tomorrow. I am thankful for you jackals.

  62. 62.

    J R in WV

    @schrodingers_cat:

    You need to chop and saute onions, a jalapeno pepper, some garlic cloves, and after the pasta (I usually use rotini) is done, mix in the cheeses, cooked vegs, and a can of mexican tomatoes with green chilis.

    Main dish.

    Quick and tasty. Hot sauces after served onto plates. Bake 30 minutes at 350 or 375, wait til it bubbles a little in the middle. If you use a wide pan to bake it in, there’s more crunchy cheesey crust on top and it cooks faster. Slaw or salad makes it more balanced, but I often tell myself that the onions, peppers and tomatoes count as a veg serving.

  63. 63.

    jeffreyw

    Well, that’s over for another year. I managed to bone the carcass with Gabe hoping for scraps to fall from the counter without stepping on him, much. Stockpot is going, dishes about half washed, thanks to Gabe and Katie. Mrs J busied herself putting away the leftovers. Taking ten, listening to Hey Jude with Wilson Pickett and Duane Allman.

  64. 64.

    CaseyL

    This is a leisurely T-Day for me and my peeps. Peggy decided she wasn’t up to playing hostess to the usual gathering in Ocean Shores, nor up to cooking, so a bunch of us are going out for T-Day Dinner at a local diner we’re fond of.

    In the meantime, my therapist has strongly suggested I reconnect with music that moves me emotionally, so I’ve spent some of the morning re-listening to Temptation Within’s “Heart of Everything,” and feeling the old urge to write a story based on the images and emotions it evokes.

  65. 65.

    Beautifulplummage

    Headed to turkey day @ the ICU where my friend’s family has shifted the now small gathering to be with her spouse. He’s much better than a few days ago.

    As is the tradition where I’ve worked for 6 years we closed early yesterday and had a potluck turkey lunch. Very good dishes; I’m taking the remaining brussel sprouts & cranberry sauce to today’s gathering.

    Happy T-day everyone! So thankful for this space & you people!

  68. 68.

    NotMax

    Raining and decidedly on the chilly side here. Used the same amount of coffee as usual in the pot, however the end product this morning could serve to cure leather. After the caffeine kicks in am gonna toss ingredients for a saffron-infused challah-type loaf into the super duper bread machine.

    Dinner planned to be langostino tails poached in vermouth along with a mushroom and rice pilaf. Maybe crack open a bottle of wine if any of the bottles in the house catch my fancy. Triple chocolate cake for dessert.

  69. 69.

    StringOnAStick

    I roasted the turkey yesterday, but next time I’m using Tamara’s spatchcock recipe. We don’t do grains/flour anymore so I think I will make the blueberry cobbler with the crushed macadamia nut topping for tonight so we can have a seasonal dessert. I can eat that and not send my blood sugar to the moon since there is very little added sugar, but any grain/flour item gets me so I’ve made my peace with it and we’ve moved on.

    It is so nice outside that I think I’ll go for a hike. Husband is biking (that’s how warm it is here in the Denver area, record breakingly warm), the kittens are in their afternoon siesta, and it’s just a lovely day. I’d bike but I got very sick last Friday and ended up in the urgent care a day later after I realized I was seriously considering taking a chisel to the headache I had; truly new horizons in brain pain for me and I have a lifelong history of migraines. Later we’re going to break out our instruments after a long dry period and play some music. We’ve got to get these kitties used to guitars, mandolins and ukulele’s, so now’s the time to start. We’ve both lost our callouses though so it will be a short music session!

  70. 70.

    J R in WV

    Hey, I’m grateful for all you you jackals out there. I’ma done cookin’, wife just requested a rum and tonic, so I’m gonna do that.

    Our dinner is scheduled for 8… I guess I could make a maple-pecan pie? Nah. There’s gonna be pie with whipped cream, real whipped cream. AM used to be quality control at a dairy plant, would bring home cases of whipping cream where one was removed for testing. 5 gallon buckets of various dairy products with a pint removed for testing. No spray pseudowhipped cream at her house. Isn’t it interesting the jobs you can get with a bio degree?

    And before that we kept a dairy cow, more cream and milk than we, the neighbors AND the pigs could drink! Blender butter!

    Happy holidays, all !!!

  71. 71.

    jeffreyw

    @HeleninEire: I’m five years older than my Dad ever got, closing in on Mom’s age when she died. Hoping to break GrandPa’s record of 85.
    [narrator’s voice] HaHaHaHa taking bets he doesn’t!

  74. 74.

    debbie

    @Mnemosyne:

    My dad died at 44. My youngest brother was 8. He lived a pretty raucous existence with little care because he assumed he would die early. He’s about to hit 52 and is still surprised he’s alive. Of course, he’s paying a price now for the youthful excesses.

  76. 76.

    HAL

    Flynn no longer communicating with White House lawyers according to Twitter and the N.Y. Times, and may be negotiating a deal. Happy Thanksgiving!

  77. 77.

    FlyingToaster (Tablet)

    The turkey, roast veg, gravy and pizza stuffing are done; the mash, sweets, and regular stuffing are finishing; the rolls are on the tray and carving commences in 5 minutes. One or two nephews will be late, but everyone else is ready to start.

  78. 78.

    JMG

    @HAL: Flynn’s looking at like 20 years at the least if the hammer comes down. If his lawyer isn’t telling him to deal, he needs a new one STAT.

  79. 79.

    lamh36

    LOL…im sharing this with ya’ll at BJ….cause if their is one thing I won’t have to worry bout in my Black azz family is a Trump supporter!

    From the Very Smart Bros Blog:

    A 15 Step Guide On How To Talk To And Deal With The Trump Supporters In Your Family This Thanksgiving’https://twitter.com/psddluva4evah/status/933810824392728576

  80. 80.

    HeleninEire

    @NotMax: OMG the Shelbourne. They have afternoon tea. Yeah whatever. They also have Campaign Afternoon Tea. Just booked it for a girlfriend’s birthday here. €64 each.

  83. 83.

    dmsilev

    Was a good afternoon. Niece and nephew are decompressing a bit (playing with a drawing app on Grandpa’s iPad) and will be heading home soon. No food disasters, amusing or otherwise (ok, we underestimated the time to finish roasting the turkey, but only by twenty minutes, so it didn’t do much damage to the schedule). Still have a fair amount of clean-up left to do, but we have all evening to get that done, so no worries.

  84. 84.

    Mike J

    @Beautifulplummage: I spent last year in CCU with my mom. She had already come home after her valve replacement and wound up going back after a pericardial effusion on the day before Thanksgiving. This year she’s cooking the turkey instead of me. Much better to be at their house than the hospital.

    Thanks for supporting your friend. It’s a huge pain in the ass shuttling back and forth to the hospital, never sleeping well, never eating. I don’t think I got a proper night’s sleep until January.

  86. 86.

    J R in WV

    @StringOnAStick:

    Last winter same neighbor’s for winter solstice dinner. Big crowd compared to today. Lost of pot luck, beverages, etc. We were drinking beer on the back porch, outdoors. As it got dark I put on a flannel shirt over my tee, and then about 9 pm I had to take the flannel shirt off, it was TOO WARM on the back porch in a mountain hollow. The breeze coming down the hollow wasn’t cool, it was warm!

    Creepy, strange, it was. Today it’s 40 right now, going to be 35 by dinnertime, so the sparkling wine on the porch will be right by dinnertime. I wonder what the solstice dinner weather will be like? 75 like last year? hope not.

  87. 87.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    Just returned from a hike up to Mt. Lowe, incredible view; I could see all of Catalina, Santa Barbara island, and part San Clemene island. I’ll see how the pics turned out an put some up tonight(if any turned out).

  88. 88.

    Cckids

    I’m at my sister’s, helping her host 24 people. One turkey is roasted, the other on the grill. My contribution is a mushroom/leek/Gruyere bread pudding, bourbon-glazed carrots, and an apple cake with brandy-brown sugar sauce.

    We started having a sign-up list for big holiday gatherings the year we had 16 people. . . and 19 pies/desserts. We decided we needed an intervention.

  90. 90.

    Jazzman

    On the subject of mac and cheese, I go with no less a figure than James Beard:

    This is a great American classic, one of our best dishes. It has to be gooey, made with a really rich bechamel and with a Cheddar that sings with flavor. I love it when the cheese on top gets burnt and chewy, and I love to scrape up the dried bits that stick to the pan.

    From Beard on Pasta, 1983.
    When everyone at my house is sick of turkey leftovers (which may be as early as tomorrow night), that’s what I’m making!

  91. 91.

    Origuy

    A little raw or grilled pineapple helps digest a meat-heavy meal. I’ve had it at Brazilian churrasco restaurants.

    Try making mac and cheese with horseradish cheddar for a little bite.

  92. 92.

    chris

    @Steeplejack: You’re right it was removed when I went back to look. Rightly so since it was a pan of mac and cheese covered with those slices of “American” cheese.

  93. 93.

    Major Major Major Major

    ’Let’s All Say What We’re Grateful For,’ Says Mother Who Apparently Believes She’s In A Norman Fucking Rockwell Painting

    LANSING, MI—Deluded into thinking the gathering was the goddamn picture of idyllic American life, local mother Donna Lerner, who apparently believes she’s in a Norman fucking Rockwell painting, reportedly suggested Thursday that everyone say what they are grateful for. “Now, let’s all go around the table and say at least one thing we are thankful for this year,” said Lerner, who seemed to think that she inhabited some bullshit sentimental oil painting from 1943 that was probably called something like “Bond Of A Thankful Family.” “Come on, Matthew, you don’t have anything that you’re appreciative for? Okay fine, I’ll go first. I’m truly blessed that I [live in a fucking fantasyland that some dead guy invented and that has never and will never exist for me or anyone else at this table].” At press time, Lerner beckoned her children to gather around the piano so that they could all sing songs together as if it were a goddamn Frank Capra movie.

  94. 94.

    germy

    The legal team representing Michael Flynn, President Trump’s former national security adviser, have ended an agreement to share information about the ongoing Russia probe with the White House, a sign that Flynn is possibly looking to cooperate with investigators, The New York Times reported on Thursday.

    Terminating the information-sharing agreement is not in itself a sign that Flynn is working with Robert Mueller, the special counsel leading the investigation into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. But, according to the Times, it signals that Flynn is at least discussing the option with prosecutors.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/361687-flynn-moving-to-cooperate-with-mueller-in-russia-probe-report

  97. 97.

    SWMBO

    @J R in WV: Since you apparently have nothing to lose, can you scrape the top off and bake the bottom? Then crumble the entire mess in a bowl and make cake pops with pineapple glaze?

  107. 107.

    Jay C

    Thanksgiving 2017 has been a moderate bummer chez Jay: we had to flee the City (NY)*, and our plans for a “real” dinner – friends & family etc. – to the Scenic Berkshires ™ where we are quite alone – HOWVEVER: I’m making turkey cutlets (a Martha Stewart recipe BION) – w/ leeks, broccoli, wild rice and a salad: a nice carb-free feast: a nioe carb-free feast if it all comes off….

    Hope all Juicers have as good a Turkey Day as they can manage…

    *construction issues in our apartment building: i.e. First World Problems

  109. 109.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    @germy:

    The legal team representing Michael Flynn, President Trump’s former national security adviser, have ended an agreement to share information about the ongoing Russia probe with the White House,

    Think of the hysterics that occurred over Bill Clinton simply saying hello to Loretta Lynch at an airport. Yet here is the target of an investigation feeding info to a party that can obstruct that underlying investigation. Moreover, how can the WH say they’re innocent yet beg for information from an unindicted conspirator.

  111. 111.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    @Mike J: I was watching ESPN last night and the LA show was complaining about the weather being 94 degrees. Of course that didn’t stop Michelle Beadle from showing up with a rich to-die-for tan.

  112. 112.

    amygdala

    @J R in WV: Did your cake batter have a lot of eggs, milk, or both in it? The enzyme(s) in pineapple are, if memory serves, proteases. That’s why fresh pineapple keeps gelatin from gelling; the enzyme degrades the collagen in gelatin to component amino acids. They’re small molecules, rather than long chains of them, and just sit in solution, rather than gel.

    Even bread flour doesn’t have that much protein, and all-purpose and cake flour even less. So I’m wondering if the pineapple enzymes wreaked havoc on the egg or milk proteins in the batter.

    (edited to correct a punctuation error)

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