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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Cat Blogging / Midday Cat Thread

Midday Cat Thread

by Cheryl Rofer|  December 5, 20172:01 pm| 138 Comments

This post is in: Cat Blogging, Open Threads

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Ric: Neener neener, human! You thought opposable thumbs were necessary to open the cat beds.

How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

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Reader Interactions

138Comments

  1. 1.

    schrodingers_cat

    December 5, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    Sweet kitteh! Smart kitteh!
    Purr Purr

  2. 2.

    Major Major Major Major

    December 5, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    Wow! You better watch out!

    Samwise is not very clever physically.

  3. 3.

    lethargytartare

    December 5, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    by adopting me as their slave… er “owner”

  4. 4.

    Doug R

    December 5, 2017 at 2:09 pm

    My cats have skilz opening doors that aren’t latched shut, my wife had a cat that could jump up and turn the doorknob in her childhood home

  5. 5.

    LAO

    December 5, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    Very cute. This morning my dog, not so cute. She found a $5 bill, which she promptly ate. Very bad dog.

    Also — best tweet of the day:

    Now that Russia is banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics you think we can also ban them from the 2018 US Midterm Elections?— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) December 5, 2017

  6. 6.

    Doug R

    December 5, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    OT Russians kicked out of 2018 Olympics.

  7. 7.

    Calouste

    December 5, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    @Doug R: I wonder if certain people are going to call for a solidarity boycott by the US.

  8. 8.

    No Drought No More

    December 5, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    I always play it safe, the ASPCA be damned. When a cat proves to me it has the intellectual firepower to comprehend the theory of opposable thumbs, that cat is history. At that point it becomes a matter of you or it, because cats like that will otherwise fuck you up sooner or later..

  9. 9.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    December 5, 2017 at 2:17 pm

    One of my cats likes to pout by opening a kitchen cabinet going inside and then closing the door.

    one day we were feeding her sister; when she smelled the food she popped out of a closed cabinet like a Jack N the Box and scared us half to death.

  10. 10.

    ruemara

    December 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    In the interest of calming cat posts, these two start the cute thing very early. Funny though, they’re incredibly well behaved.

  11. 11.

    Amaranthine RBG

    December 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    There are several feral cats in our neighborhood and the nearby open space.

    We’ve have been putting out food for them so we we can trap them for spay/neuter and release. (There is a great organization in the Bay Area called Fix or Ferals that does great work offering very low cost spay/neuter for ferals and slightly more expensive for pets.)

    Anyway, the cats have grown accustomed to the feeding (of course) and two of then were outside our open bedroom window before dawn meowing for food.

    The puzzling thing is that we put out the food about 100 yards away down a steep hill near the border between our property and the open space. I assume they connected our scent with the food and then sniffed around the open windows until they found where we were. Clever buggars.

  12. 12.

    Yutsano

    December 5, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    @Doug R: My mom’s Siamese uses her considerable body weight to unlatch doors. At first no one could figure out who was leaving the doors open until my mom saw her actually do it. Of course there’s a dog door now but if it gets in the way of Her Highness she’s not just going to walk around to it.

  13. 13.

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    December 5, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    My cats don’t need opposable digits: they have claws, and if I disobey they use them.

  14. 14.

    Nicole

    December 5, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    My husband has taken to tucking his extra pillow under a dresser so that the dog can’t lie on it.

    The dog has taken to pulling the pillow out from under the dresser and then lying on it. What can I say, my husband smells nice. I totally understand, dog.

  15. 15.

    geg6

    December 5, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    @David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch:

    LOL!

    My Lovey is not a cat, but she does the same thing using her kennel. She only uses it to pout and pop out of when we least expect it.

  16. 16.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    December 5, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    By opening doors.

    My sister and BIL brought their 18-month puppy along to the Thanksgiving visits (which in our house is a 3-day event), which was fine when it was just them. We suggested they leave him at the hotel on Thanksgiving Day itself, when our little granddaughter would be there, as she has kind of a phobia about dogs.

    But instead they brought him along again. Why? Because after leaving him in their room, while they were waiting for the elevator, he came trotting down the hotel corridor to join them. The lever-operated door didn’t even slow him down.

    All was well. Our granddaughter got acclimated to him very quickly when they all went off to the park to play.

    When I was growing up, one of my parents’ dogs was pretty expert at opening whatever cabinet held the Milk Bones.

  17. 17.

    Matt McIrvin

    December 5, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    One of mine has taught me that cats can flow through arbitrarily narrow apertures.

  18. 18.

    low-tech cyclist

    December 5, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    @lethargytartare:

    How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    by adopting me as their slave… er “owner”

    This. A thousand times, this.

    Feline mind control of humans is a powerful thing.

  19. 19.

    Droppy

    December 5, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    I think I knew my dog had special abilities when he built that birdhouse. Or was that my kid? I always get them mixed up.

  20. 20.

    ET

    December 5, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Midnight pillow thievery by just poking at the head until it moves or taking over the whole thing thereby leaving no room for the humans fat head.

  21. 21.

    Miss Bianca

    December 5, 2017 at 2:27 pm

    @LAO: Oh, that might be the tweet of the year, far as I’m concerned.

  22. 22.

    Miss Bianca

    December 5, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    @ruemara: sweet kitties!

  23. 23.

    O. Felix Culpa

    December 5, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Our late ferrets (Kato, Clouseau, and Bilbo) used to pry open a lower kitchen cabinet and climb up into the towel drawer from the back of the drawer. Like your kitty, they’d make a nest there and go to sleep. I learned to look for missing ferrets in the towel drawer first after a few panic-stricken hunts. Once one got into a ventilation duct, which was highly problematic.

  24. 24.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    By using his nagging wiles to get his human to do stuff for him.

  25. 25.

    randy khan

    December 5, 2017 at 2:33 pm

    Well, definitely door opening. And the particular cat also was declawed by a previous human. That cat also demonstrated that claws are not necessary to climb over a child barrier, which we thought he could not do because he was old and weak, and the top of the barrier would be too tall for him to reach. Au contraire! (It took us a few weeks to figure out that it wasn’t that one or both of us was forgetting to put in back in place when we went into the room because we really didn’t believe he could do it and didn’t get in-person visual evidence for a while.)

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2017 at 2:35 pm

    Poor G is constantly complaining that he spent the day as warm-blooded furniture to keep the cats comfortable.

  27. 27.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    Also, our oldest cat’s nickname is “Mr. Charm and Persistence.” Draw your own conclusions.

  28. 28.

    ruemara

    December 5, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    @Mnemosyne: His life is good then.

  29. 29.

    marcopolo

    December 5, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    OT, but I have read a number of stories now about this year’s flu season. Please fellow BJers if you haven’t already, get your flu shots (no matter how imperfect they might be). Here in St. Louis cases are now running 300% above the rate from last year and the symptoms are worse. Sounds like similar things are happening in other states.

    This year’s flu season is off to a fast and early start and it’s here in Massachusetts.

    Massachusetts and three other states (Georgia, Louisiana, Massachusetts, and Oklahoma) have widespread flu activity, according to the Centers for Disease Control. There were none at this time last year.

    Doctors say they have noticed cases of the flu picking up ‘dramatically’ in the last week.

    That’s it for me commenting till much later this evening. Everyone have a nice day. I gots stuff to do.

  30. 30.

    O. Felix Culpa

    December 5, 2017 at 2:38 pm

    @marcopolo: I just got my flu shot this morning! Thank you for the health PSA.

  31. 31.

    rikyrah

    December 5, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    @Doug R:

    Russians kicked out of 2018 Olympics.

    GOOD

  32. 32.

    Sab

    December 5, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    My Tuxedo/siamese opens canned catfood by pulling the tab with his toenails. He broke the kitchen sink drain plug by repeatedly snagging it in his claws and hurling it across the room.

    He is however very friendly and always cheerful.

  33. 33.

    rikyrah

    December 5, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    WHO ratted out Pence?

  34. 34.

    rikyrah

    December 5, 2017 at 2:41 pm

    Special Counsel Mueller didn’t subpoena Deutsche Bank for purposes of going after lower level individuals like Roger Stone. Also, why does Jared Kushner still have a security clearance? t.co/hwYFXIUG0e

    — Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) December 5, 2017

  35. 35.

    GregB

    December 5, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    MAGA mofos!

    politico.com/story/2017/12/05/us-trade-deficit-china-280949

  36. 36.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    How have your pets shown you that opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    Over the years, cats have shown me the only real use of opposable thumbs is writing, which they have no use for, and opening cans of food. They’ve never had a problem with bags, though. We are expendable. Cats can open doors, turn on switches, turn on faucets, obtain food, destroy almost anything, open any drawer or cabinet with enough time…at least the little fuckers can’t drive.

    Nowadays, thanks to the wife’s allergies, I am getting shown the limitations of dogs. Of which there are just as few as the cats. I have a permanent dog and many “guest dogs”, where we take care of one of our fellow Guide Dogs for a few days to a few weeks. Now, screen doors have always been an issue for the pets. The cats will just rip their way through, but that takes time. The dogs take the far more direct route of just smashing through the screen, or, in the case of our permanent dog, he has learned to get a grip on the screen with his nose and just flip the door open with his muzzle. He can now open a screen door faster than I can.

    He can’t get a ball out from under the couch, but that’s only because his limbs are shorter than mine. He doesn’t need thumbs for that. Again, at least the fucker can’t drive.

  37. 37.

    Three-nineteen

    December 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    One summer, the lock broke on my sliding screen door to the backyard. After that, every few days I found the screen door open about 2 inches. I suspected the cat, but she was always in the house when I looked for her. Finally caught her – she had figured out how to push the door open just enough to get out.

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    @ruemara:

    Well, except that Keaton insists on sitting in his lap while G is at his desk, and G ends up with major lower back pain because he has to twist in a weird way to keep our Feline of Unusual Size from falling off.

    Charlotte was using me as warm-blooded furniture yesterday, but at least I was able to lay down on the couch for it. And the night she decided to try and sleep on my injured knee was not a good one for either of us. ?

  39. 39.

    Doug R

    December 5, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    @Calouste: Canadian Olympic Committee RIGHT NOW.

  40. 40.

    ArchTeryx

    December 5, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    I have the self named Derpiest Cat in Creation, a ginger tabby derp that’s the sweetest, cuddliewst cat I have ever known.

    And he figured out how to open unlatched doors… with his head. Literally.

  41. 41.

    trollhattan

    December 5, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    @marcopolo:
    If it’s a particularly nasty, communicable strain the forthcoming holiday travel season and schools’ Christmas break will make sure every single human gets exposed.

    Had my shot, fingers crossed.

  42. 42.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2017 at 2:51 pm

    @marcopolo:
    My employer insists we get vaccinated, which makes sense given that we’re a hospital. This includes people like me who only have patient contact if we go some place like the cafeteria. It is convenient to be able to get immunized at work.

  43. 43.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    @Roger Moore:

    The Giant Evil offers flu vaccinations at work, too, though I happened to get mine at the doctor’s office this time around. When you have large numbers of people working in close proximity to each other, any employer who doesn’t offer free flu shots is a fool. ?

  44. 44.

    ET

    December 5, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    After saying he wouldn’t run next year, Conyers is stepping down. And the people of Alabama may still elect Moore.

  45. 45.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 5, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    at least the little fuckers can’t drive.

    Toonces is holding for you on Line 1.

  46. 46.

    Yutsano

    December 5, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    @Roger Moore: Fun story: my pain doc shares an office with my PCP. I’m waiting for an appointment with the pain doc (for my back) and one of the PC nurses looks right at me.

    “Have you had your flu shot?”

    “Uhh….no?”

    10 minutes later I was stuck. It was convenient but rather unexpected.

  47. 47.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 5, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    @Doug R: Russian state TV says that if the IOC decides on a neutral flag for the provably clean athletes, that is comparable to genocide.”because it affects a large number of citizens of a particular country.”

  48. 48.

    Miss Bianca

    December 5, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    @O. Felix Culpa: You had ferrets? Oh, SQUEEE!

  49. 49.

    Calouste

    December 5, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    @Doug R: I read the other day that Russia have lost so many medals due to doping convictions from the last Winter Olympics ( that were in Russia), that Norway has retroactively overtaken them for the top spot in the medal table.

  50. 50.

    trollhattan

    December 5, 2017 at 3:03 pm

    @Roger Moore: @Mnemosyne:
    Back at one of the Very Large Engineering firms I was pleasantly surprised when they arranged for in-house flu shots and vigorously encouraged all to participate. Which I did, then was dazzled with having to pay–cash up front please–in order to get my jab.

    Cheapest bastards I ever worked for, and that’s saying a lot.

  51. 51.

    Mike J

    December 5, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    If humans didn’t have opposable thumbs, we’d build a tool to serve its purpose.

    What tools do aliens have built into their bodies that we replace with external tools? Sporks? Screwdrivers?

  52. 52.

    Miss Bianca

    December 5, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    @marcopolo: yow, thanks for the reminder. : (

  53. 53.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Russian state TV says that if the IOC decides on a neutral flag for the provably clean athletes, that is comparable to genocide

    Sounds legit.

  54. 54.

    clay

    December 5, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: That’s a novel definition of “genocide” that ignores the “cide” part.

  55. 55.

    japa21

    December 5, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    @Roger Moore: Russia as a country cannot compete. But Russian athletes can but would march in behind the Olympic flag and would hear the Olympics anthem at medal ceremonies. Plus Russia fined $15 million.

    Waiting for Trump’s tweet,

  56. 56.

    scav

    December 5, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    Mischief demonstrated that one doesn’t need opposable thumbs or 4 legs to open doors. I rather wonder if cats that don’t open doors are merely demonstrating their laziness and preference for servile minions.

  57. 57.

    japa21

    December 5, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Wonder how much pressure will be placed on Russian athletes not to participate on their own.

  58. 58.

    Mnemosyne

    December 5, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    @trollhattan:

    Technically I suppose ours are included in our insurance and everyone is required to have some level of health insurance, but they don’t do any kind of check before they jab you other than checking your ID.

    And if you have family members on their insurance, they get a free flu shot, too.

  59. 59.

    raven

    December 5, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    @japa21: Like they’ll get sent to the ball bearing factory in Minsk if they do!!
    I got one of those “for old people shots” and it huts like hell!

  60. 60.

    Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)

    December 5, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    I had a flu shot in October but I still just had a “cold” whose cough lasted six weeks.

  61. 61.

    Mike J

    December 5, 2017 at 3:15 pm

    BTW, any decision of Seattle meetup? When, where, why (because we like you) m-o-u-s-e?

  62. 62.

    Gelfling 545

    December 5, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    @Comrade Scrutinizer: Claws can do a lot to make up for lack of opposable thumbs. Mewtant can pop out one claw to select an item he wants. This was forst observed when he was found sitting on the diningroom table selecting individual macaronis from the macaroni and cheese, licking off the cheese sauce and discarding the macaroni.

  63. 63.

    geg6

    December 5, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady):

    A bunch of people in my building had that over the summer. Not sure what it is, but was told that their doctors said it wasn’t influenza, just some virus.

  64. 64.

    WaterGirl

    December 5, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    @rikyrah:

    WHO ratted out Pence?

    What are you referring to? I hope it’s a game changer, whatever it is.

  65. 65.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    @japa21:

    Waiting for Trump’s tweet

    AFAIK, he still hasn’t tweeted about Mueller subpoenaing his financial records, which I’d expect him to talk about first.

  66. 66.

    gvg

    December 5, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    my childhood cat pair were quite intelligent in a worldlywise way. the next one was pretty smart but also excessively beautiful and learned to use her beauty to manipulate people into doing things for her. Pure white Angora show cat who could charm people who were scared of cats. I thought it showed that dumb blonds weren’t. She was very good company though. The next one was her opposite though, a black shorthair tailless built like a linebacker cat that really wasn’t that smart and was very stubborn. He put on a good show as being a tough guy but was actually kind of afraid of strangers. Feral I tamed that didn’t really like anyone else but loved me. he wasn’t that good with other cats so we were surprised when he was so patient with the found kitten we couldn’t rehome. Learned we could only adopt kittens as long as he was alive. Current cat is hard to judge. She is OCD and doesn’t like change. Very shy. It’s funny how different their intelligence has been.

  67. 67.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 5, 2017 at 3:22 pm

    I love this line, and I’m not a hunter, but are “deer blinds” a thing? I thought it was duck blinds and deer stands

    Ben Jacobs
    Doug Jones says “when you see me with a gun, I’ll be climbing in and out of a deer blind . . . not prancing around on a stage in a cowboy suit”

  68. 68.

    Mike J

    December 5, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Google comes up with 800,000 hits for deer blind, so somebody thinks it’s ok.

  69. 69.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 5, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    @WaterGirl: McKay Coppins story about how Pence went to RNC after the p*ssy-grabber tape and suggested he step in for the top of the ticket with Condi Rice as his Veep candidate. I heard Coppins on MSNBC say Condi was on board. Between that and the story about Mother not liking him, I expect a show of humiliation for both Pences by Friday

  70. 70.

    Corner Stone

    December 5, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: As with many fetish purists (ala clip v magazine), I am sure there will be a mighty backlash across the interwebs by some with ill intent.
    But yes, they are the same thing. Usually a deer stand is elevated and a blind is obscured closer to ground level. They can be called either or both. In the same conversation!

  71. 71.

    KithKanan

    December 5, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Everyone with ACA-compliant insurance can get a free flu shot. Thanks, Obama.

  72. 72.

    Another Scott

    December 5, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    Cordray is running: thehill.com/policy/finance/363344-former-consumer-bureau-director-cordray-announces-run-for-ohio-gov…

    Good, good.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  73. 73.

    Gelfling 545

    December 5, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    @raven: I got that for the first time this year. (NOW WITH EXTRA VIRUS!) Stung for a couple of days. Still better than flu, though.

  74. 74.

    Yutsano

    December 5, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    @Mike J: Deer blinds are usually in trees. It’s a place for a hunter to hide out without leaving a large amount of scent markers about. It has the added bonus of being a place where one can keep beer. My family members who hunt never use them but they ain’t exactly from the sharp side of the gene pool.

  75. 75.

    germy

    December 5, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    BREAKING: Former employees accuse top editor at National Enquirer, other gossip publications of sexual misconduct in newsroom.— Tom Namako (@TomNamako) December 5, 2017

  76. 76.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 5, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    Is this what they have to tell the Beast to keep him from trying to drone Meuller?

    Christina Wilkie‏Verified account
    Sanders: “The news reports that the Special Counsel has issued subpoenas to financial institutions are completely false.

  77. 77.

    mike in dc

    December 5, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    @germy: Least shocking news ever.

  78. 78.

    d58826

    December 5, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    OK I’m not a lawyer so I guess there is a difference Here
    1. sign in window ==> we do not serve gays is ok:
    2. sign in window ==> we do not serve Jews is illegal
    3. sign in window ==> we do not serve blacks is illegal
    4. sign in window ==> we do not serve Catholics is illegal.

  79. 79.

    ET

    December 5, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    @WaterGirl: i saw something about his wife’s opinion of tRump – it isn’t complimentary.

  80. 80.

    Aleta

    December 5, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    @germy: Oh surely not the Na’tl Enq!

  81. 81.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 5, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    @ET: Who gives a flying fuck what her *opinion* is? Dollars to donuts she voted for the scumbag anyway.

  82. 82.

    Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)

    December 5, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Part of the principle (for want of a better word) of lying is that you expect your lie to hold good while you’re around. So what’s the point of lying about Mueller’s subpoena? Six year old are better even at lying, and lying is SHS’s strongest talent.

  83. 83.

    Corner Stone

    December 5, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    So were there subpoenas to DB for financial records or not. Mueller isn’t going to confirm or deny. DB is on record saying they won’t talk about them. So who told Sekulow they don’t exist?

  84. 84.

    TenguPhule

    December 5, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    @germy:

    Former employees accuse top editor at National Enquirer, other gossip publications of sexual misconduct in newsroom.

    I’m not sure if this is peak irony or something else.

  85. 85.

    ruemara

    December 5, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    @germy: Considering what a huge Trump/Crazy ReichWing Nonsense pukefunnel the NE is, I hope it destroys them.

    @d58826: IANAL, and I don’t see the difference.

  86. 86.

    germy

    December 5, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    NEW YORK (AP) — The top editor for the National Enquirer, Us Weekly and other major gossip publications openly described his sexual partners in the newsroom, discussed female employees’ sex lives and forced women to watch or listen to pornographic material, former employees told The Associated Press.

    The behavior by Dylan Howard, currently the chief content officer of American Media Inc., occurred while he was running the company’s Los Angeles office, according to men and women who worked there. Howard’s self-proclaimed nickname was “Dildo,” a phallus-shaped sex toy, the former employees said. His conduct led to an internal inquiry in 2012 by an outside consultant, and former employees said he stopped working out of the L.A. office after the inquiry.

  87. 87.

    Mary G

    December 5, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    @Mnemosyne: My last cat Sophie always slept on my hip at night. When I had it replaced that was a real problem. I had to build a kind of fort to keep her off.

  88. 88.

    japa21

    December 5, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady): And how do we know she is lying? She opened her mouth.

    rimshot.

  89. 89.

    d58826

    December 5, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Interior Dept. recommends changes to boundaries of six U.S. national monuments

    Any one starting a betting pool for when they start drilling for oil in the grand canyon national park?

    msn.com/en-us/news/us/interior-dept-recommends-changes-to-boundaries-of-six-us-national-monuments/ar…

  90. 90.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 5, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    @germy: I like that they felt the need to define “dildo.”

  91. 91.

    germy

    December 5, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    @ruemara: pukefunnel is the perfect word to describe them.

  92. 92.

    Brachiator

    December 5, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    @d58826:

    Any one starting a betting pool for when they start drilling for oil in the grand canyon national park?

    I heard that Trump was either going to spray paint it gold or sell it to a Russian oligarch.

  93. 93.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    The top editor for the National Enquirer, Us Weekly and other major gossip publications openly described his sexual partners in the newsroom, discussed female employees’ sex lives and forced women to watch or listen to pornographic material, former employees told The Associated Press.

    @germy: And he won’t be going anywhere, because the Trump admin needs him badly. The Enquirer has done an incredible job of keeping all the Olds on the Trump Train. They literally cannot lose him.

  94. 94.

    Gravenstone

    December 5, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    I had one of my dresser drawers partially opened, and my tabby jumped in then climbed over the back of the drawer and into the dresser body. It was at this point that I discovered my dresser drawers cannot be removed from the tracks, so I could not go in after her. Fortunately, she eventually decided to climb back into the drawer from the inside, and exited the dresser. Needless to say, I no longer have those drawers open unless I am actively loading/unloading them.

  95. 95.

    germy

    December 5, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Must be in the AP style guide. “All mentions of a dildo must be accompanied by appropriate definition.”

  96. 96.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    December 5, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    @Corner Stone: So who told Sekulow they don’t exist?

    Mr Snuffleupagus? The Great Kazoo? Harvey the Pookah? Eric?

  97. 97.

    Gin & Tonic

    December 5, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    @germy: It’s like in The Economist when they write, e.g. “Morgan Stanley, a bank…” I think most of their readership knows who Morgan Stanley is.

  98. 98.

    chris

    December 5, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Goes well with this tweet from last year.

    (Via Mueller’s cheering section at Reddit.)

  99. 99.

    Yarrow

    December 5, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    @germy: I don’t know about the other gossip rags, but the National Enquirer is a Trump mouthpiece these days. Sexual predators of a feather flock together.

  100. 100.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    OK I’m not a lawyer so I guess there is a difference Here
    1. sign in window ==> we do not serve gays is ok:
    2. sign in window ==> we do not serve Jews is illegal
    3. sign in window ==> we do not serve blacks is illegal
    4. sign in window ==> we do not serve Catholics is illegal.

    @d58826: Had to dig a little. That’s correct. Sexual orientation is not a “federally protected class”.

    For future reference, these are (at the moment):

    Race.
    Color.
    Religion or creed.
    National origin or ancestry.
    Sex.
    Age.
    Physical or mental disability.
    Veteran status.
    Genetic information.
    Citizenship.

    State laws differ, of course. Here in CA, you damn well can’t refuse to serve gays.

    From what I understand, the CO “wedding cake” SC case went very, very badly for the plaintiffs, so you can expect to see gays getting denied services in many states continue/get much worse.

  101. 101.

    HeleninEire

    December 5, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    Not a pet person (yeah we’ve had this conversation) But I love pet posts. Love hearing how much you love your pets. Also the funny funny stories. Every once in a while a Wonkette post will devolve into “that time I got drunk” and I LMAO. I can TOTALLY relate to that.

    Also too, if you haven’t checked out the “we rate dogs” Twitter you gotta. FANFUCKINGTASTICK.

  102. 102.

    randy khan

    December 5, 2017 at 3:57 pm

    @Another Scott:

    I’d have been surprised if he didn’t run, since there was no reason for him to step down from the CFPB otherwise.

  103. 103.

    TenguPhule

    December 5, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    @d58826: That one is uranium mining.

    No, seriously. I’m not making this up.

  104. 104.

    Yarrow

    December 5, 2017 at 3:58 pm

    @Corner Stone: The voices in Sekulow’s head? Trump? Ivanka? Could be any of those.

  105. 105.

    randy khan

    December 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    @d58826:

    That’s my guess as to what happens. For whatever reason, the Supreme Court has a thing about sex and religion – if someone came in and said her religion required her to discriminate against Asians and so she couldn’t make wedding cakes for them, the case would be laughed out of court, and whatever is decided in this case, I don’t think that will change.

  106. 106.

    germy

    December 5, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Stuff my cat does (my favorite things, not the furniture scratching):

    The Look Of Love from Across the Room.
    I’ll look up from a book or from strumming my ukelele and see her staring at me sweetly.

    The Forehead Bump
    If I’m lying down she’ll come at me like a bull going after a bullfighter, with her head tilted to one side. But then she’ll gently bump my head with her forehead.

    The Morning/Evening Purr
    When I wake up in the morning she’ll approach from her sleeping spot at the foot of our bed. She climbs on my chest and purrs loudly in my face. I get the same treatment at bedtime.

  107. 107.

    randy khan

    December 5, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    Understand that the result in the CO case will affect CA, too. Whatever CA law says, a decision that gives people with stated religious beliefs the right to discriminate against gays will apply there, too.

    FWIW, I suspect that this case probably will be limited to people in “expressive” businesses, whatever those might be.

  108. 108.

    ruemara

    December 5, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    @HeleninEire: We Rate Dogs is amazing.

    Trying to plan out my DAY OF CULTCHA in Seattle. I can’t decide if I should splurge for the Pop Culture Museum or the Chihuily. And why the fuck is a little art so damned expensive? Decisions on the Friday December 8th meetup will be sent to AL tonight.

  109. 109.

    japa21

    December 5, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    @TenguPhule: When you take a tour of the canyon, mine shafts will be pointed out to you. And yep, uranium was the biggie.

  110. 110.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    December 5, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    @randy khan:
    The country has changed too much on this issue. I really don’t see this ending well.

  111. 111.

    ET

    December 5, 2017 at 4:09 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: I would think the optics were bad or maybe it was the “coup” stuff.

  112. 112.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 4:09 pm

    Understand that the result in the CO case will affect CA, too. Whatever CA law says, a decision that gives people with stated religious beliefs the right to discriminate against gays will apply there, too.

    @randy khan: Totally get that. Would like to see a grassroots (not Russia-funded like last time) Calexit movement take place here, but I am probably a very small minority. I don’t see why the fuck CA, OR, WA or HI should have to live under the same laws that apply to Alabama. We’re civilized here, not a bunch of goddamned backwoods sister-raping illiterate animals.

  113. 113.

    Aleta

    December 5, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    opposable thumbs are not necessary?

    First cat would sit up and use both paws to turn a door knob back and forth til it clicked open. He also could (depending on how you pitched to him) either catch with a toy mouse both paws or bat it 3-5 feet with his left paw.

    His mother would jump up and flick the kitchen light switch from on to off, but I trained her on that.

    Current cat opens latches connected to old cupboard knobs. At first it was only on one low cupboard where I kept her toys. Now she’s transferred the skill to other cupboards. She’ll sometimes check the back door in case its metal latch didn’t fully engage, in which case she can spring it open and go out.

    Dog has taken a half-full paper coffee cup (or once a pie tin with one piece of pie in it ) off the kitchen counter and carefully carried it upright + level w/o spilling across 3 other rooms to enjoy in his lair. (Where he was met and gently interrupted.) He’s carried a take-out paper container of chicken soup with a tight lid on it off the kitchen counter, into the liv room, jumped up on the couch, settled with it between his paws, and removed the lid intact w/o spilling. Was discovered holding it between his paws, snout inside, not a drop on the slipcover.

  114. 114.

    d58826

    December 5, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    @The Moar You Know: I realize that gays are not explicitly included in many of the civil rights laws but when they were written gays were basically invisible. It would seem that by implication and the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment would mean that this kind of discrimination is illegal.

  115. 115.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    December 5, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    @d58826:
    You would think but when has “logic” or the “rule of law” ever stopped a zealot from doing what they want?

  116. 116.

    d58826

    December 5, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    @The Moar You Know: IIRC we had this argument about 50 years ago when the Jim Crow crowd argued that the Bible validated segregation.

  117. 117.

    Gravenstone

    December 5, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    @Sab:

    He broke the kitchen sink drain plug by repeatedly snagging it in his claws and hurling it across the room.

    My tabby (again) also broke the stopper for my main bathroom sink, by prizing it loose from the stem since she just had to know what was underneath it. She also will pry heating grates out of the floor (since mice occasionally traverse the ducts). Fortunately she’s a bit too broad to fit into the ducts to chase them directly. She certainly lives up to her name – Luna the lunatic.

  118. 118.

    lethargytartare

    December 5, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    @low-tech cyclist:

    Feline mind control of humans is a powerful thing.

    We have a cat from Sav-a-pet who had been in the shelter her entire 8 year life. She’s super skittish, but also LOVES to be petted. I went to pet her in an unapproved location, and she darted away, so I went over to her favorite spot and coaxed her over. I was pretty proud of how I called her over to be petted until It occurred to me who had really called who over to where.

  119. 119.

    Just One More Canuck

    December 5, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Steve Martin had a problem with his cat, too

    youtube.com/watch?time_continue=41&v=H2Nyf-bVpxw

  120. 120.

    WaterGirl

    December 5, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    @ET: Mother does not approve!

  121. 121.

    TenguPhule

    December 5, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    From what I understand, the CO “wedding cake” SC case went very, very badly for the plaintiffs,

    Only because Kennedy is probably full of shit and the GOP conspirators on the court ignored the facts of the case and prior precedent.

  122. 122.

    Humdog

    December 5, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    It is not at all a solution but I do not think biz will change much in CA if bigots are given an all clear to discriminate from thenSupremes. Any baker or whatever who discriminates will be called out to the public and will see their business dry up. I’d picket like those asses who hassle women going to Planned Parenthood but instead of dour religious nut jobs with horrid pictures our picket lines would be fun and sassy!

  123. 123.

    TenguPhule

    December 5, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    @d58826:

    It would seem that by implication and the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment would mean that this kind of discrimination is illegal.

    We have to make every implicit rule explicit law at this point.

    Weasels gotta weasel.

  124. 124.

    Roger Moore

    December 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    @germy:
    Let me guess: this is the guy who made sure all their coverage of Trump was favorable.

  125. 125.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    I realize that gays are not explicitly included in many of the civil rights laws but when they were written gays were basically invisible. It would seem that by implication and the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment would mean that this kind of discrimination is illegal.

    @d58826: Bolded part is the problem. That is simply not how laws work. Implicit means “does not exist”. Gotta be spelled out.

  126. 126.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    December 5, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Question: given the changed attitude towards LGBTQ over the last few years, doesn’t any owner who takes advantage of their “right” to discriminate against gay people run the risk of losing their business?

  127. 127.

    NotMax

    December 5, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Chilly and blustery. Feeling especially lethargic anyway, good day to hunker down and do nothing much. Might creep up to 68 degrees today.

    From the forecast: North winds 25 to 35 mph with gusts to 55 mph. High wind warning with gusts to 70+ mph atop Haleakala. Chance of rain 40 percent.

    Maybe burn through a few more episodes of The Dog (Ukrainian cop show) on Amazon Prime and throw together a big pot of soup of some kind.

    Anyone sampled Dark on Netflix yet? Have to admit the trailer left me cold.

  128. 128.

    lgerard

    December 5, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    @The Moar You Know:

    I think a better argument can be made if it is solely focused on religious belief

    As in, you are discriminating against me because of my religious belief (that gays are OK) and you are doing so because of your different religious belief (gays are whatever)

    Let the defendants try to explain why only conservative Christians can have religious beliefs, and only there beliefs are valid.

  129. 129.

    bemused

    December 5, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    @germy:

    I love the face bumps. One of our kitties does that, nuzzling my face, snuffling my ears. We have forehead bumping sessions.

  130. 130.

    StringOnAStick

    December 5, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    I’m stuck on the couch, providing a nice warm lap for out 11 week old kittens. They will be long hairs so they are sprouting lots of long fur now that matches their very fluffy giant ears.

  131. 131.

    The Moar You Know

    December 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    Question: given the changed attitude towards LGBTQ over the last few years, doesn’t any owner who takes advantage of their “right” to discriminate against gay people run the risk of losing their business?

    @? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?: Don’t answer this, but where do you live? Think about it for a second.

    I live in a fairly liberal city – not by CA but by national standards. It would not make much difference here. Too many people just don’t give a shit. About anything. Go twenty miles south and you’ll hit a part of town where you’d be out of business in a month, and might get your business burned down in the bargain.

    I used to live in SF. Depending on where you live in the actual city, it might be a instant business-ending move, other parts, well, they just might not care all that much.

    All politics is local. I suspect support/enforcement of gay rights will be particularly so.

    I think a better argument can be made if it is solely focused on religious belief

    As in, you are discriminating against me because of my religious belief (that gays are OK) and you are doing so because of your different religious belief (gays are whatever)

    Let the defendants try to explain why only conservative Christians can have religious beliefs, and only there beliefs are valid.

    @lgerard: The case was argued today. Those were not the arguments made.

  132. 132.

    J R in WV

    December 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    One of our dogs can open both the sliding patio door in the back bedroom AND the storm door at the front of the house. Cats are not big enough.

    Ralph, our 23 pound white and red cat, could open the big glass slider in the kitchen of the old farm house. He would hunker down and dig his front claws into the rubber gasket holding the big sheet of glass, and push back with his powerful hindquarters.

    I admired his intelligence and initiative, and didn’t object to him opening the door… but he didn’t see any need to close it behind, and the yard birds would wander into the kitchen and living room. We got home one night to find most of the flock in the kitchen and some in the next room, too. Fortunately it was still light out, so we could just herd them out the back door to roost in the cedar tree out back.

    I missed a couple who had roosted on a bookcase in the living room. They were motionless and silent all night, and when I saw them sitting there the next morning when I cam downstairs…well, I was a little upset. I quietly walked over and grabbed each hen by the feet, and threw them off the front porch. They took flight and landed without damage, except to their dignity.

    Fortunately they had roosted on a plastic case with a game inside, so the chicken manure was easily dealt with, and no books were harmed in the events I describe. We have to keep the doors latched or locked or they are wide open when we get home. If only I could teach them to close up behind themselves!!

    Did I ever tell the story about the big party and the ruckus in the hen house? Another time. It was a somewhat heartless event.

  133. 133.

    Argiope

    December 5, 2017 at 4:59 pm

    Adopted a Lab mix puppy 5 months ago, and while his favorite snack is uncured concrete, he’s a relatively non-destructive young’un. Came home a few weeks ago to find a decorative sofa pillow had been completely unstuffed, with white fluff strewn about the living and dining rooms— and a contented puppy snoozing on the furniture, job well done. We figured the pillow was a goner. Upon closer inspection, we discovered he’d found a way to unzip the back of the thing without chewing it. We restuffed, rezipped, and the pillow recovered completely. Not so the egg-shaped lip gloss he found in the teen’s room a few days before: he got that lid unscrewed, and licked out the entire contents. Delicious!

  134. 134.

    J R in WV

    December 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    @Argiope:

    We had a newly rescued puppy eat a bentwood rocker one night. She ate the top off a pair of slip-on boots for dessert, too. Didn’t seem to bother her, there was a lot of splinters on the floor, but I think she ATE the boot top.

    They were nice, too, nearly new, just broken in.

  135. 135.

    Gravenstone

    December 5, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    @gvg:

    Pure white Angora show cat who could charm people who were scared of cats.

    My grandmother was the queen of finding strays. At one point she managed to acquire as strays both a snow white Angora (Snowball) and a snow white Persian (Angel). How she managed this in a town of only 2000 people, I’ve never understood.

  136. 136.

    Gravenstone

    December 5, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Probably a ground based enclosure, where the stand would be in a tree or built on an elevated platform.

  137. 137.

    Argiope

    December 5, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    @J R in WV: @J R in WV:
    Went into the Lab for processing? That’s what we call it here.

  138. 138.

    burnt

    December 5, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    My ex and I had a couple of mostly Russian Blues that teamed up to open the refrigerator. They would both work to open the door and then one would hop in and steal food. That took weeks to figure out–solved when we found a cat in the refrigerator. They also could open cupboard and cabinet doors on their own. Child-proof locks abounded in our home.

    Once, one of the cats disappeared and we could hear pitiful mewing every now and then. We searched all over but could not find him. Finally, we opened the oven door and there he was. Fortunately, the oven had cooled by the time he had followed his nose into prison.

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