"There is nothing like a functional, aesthetically appropriate set of trousers that are kept on for the entire work day." @dandrezner YOU COULD NOT BE MORE RIGHT THANK YOUhttps://t.co/NS7YksguXm
— Ben Palmer (@benjpalmer) December 5, 2017
Some people are anointed by Murphy the Trickster God to be joke targets, but Drezner’s pig-bladdering is enjoyable even if you haven’t been reading about Sebastian Gorka this week…
Late last month, former White House employee Sebastian Gorka gave quite the interview to Recoil Magazine’s Rob Curtis. [The hard-working staff here at Spoiler Alerts never misses an issue of Recoil. Objectively, it is the third-best magazine for Second Amendment lovers, right after Blowback and Shrapnel.] …
Beyond his sartorial choices, Gorka was widely mocked for his “everyday carry,” which includes two guns, a tourniquet that he can deploy with one hand, and a pocket copy of the Constitution. Naturally, Gorka himself attributed the mockery to “beta-males and progressives.” Over at Task and Purpose, however, Francis Horton does a fine job deconstructing Gorka’s “man-flair.” Like, for example, the two guns:
… Two guns. Not even two guns of the same brand. NOT EVEN TWO GUNS THAT SHOOT THE SAME ROUND. The Glock 29 is a 10mm pistol and the Smith is a 9mm. I suppose I can get behind carrying two guns if you anticipate a lot of shootouts, somewhat raising your odds of one gun spontaneously breaking mid-shootout. I mean, I guess you can’t trust only the gun taped to your back in the event that Hans Gruber has you cornered in Nakatomi Plaza and took your machine gun. Or just the gun stuffed in the ankle holster for you to pull out on your captor while you surreptitiously tie your shoe. I don’t really know. I don’t have hero fantasies. …
First off, don’t carry two guns. Or one gun, really. Especially when you’re a dude who works in Washington, where concealed carry is currently not legal.
As much fun as it is to point out Gorka’s massive inadequacy issues, the whole concept of the everyday carry (EDC) is what fascinated me. As Horton observes: “There are myriad places on the internet, including an r/EDC subreddit, dedicated to showing off and parsing people’s EDCs. Some can be pretty interesting. What does a medical student carry every day? How about a city firefighter?”
What about an academic aspiring to be a public intellectual? I am glad you asked! In the interest of opening up a window to how Spoiler Alerts goes about its day in 2017, here is a partial rundown of my EDC.1. Pants. This being 2017, I feel it is important to point out how useful a nice pair of pants are to my everyday life. There is nothing like a functional, aesthetically appropriate set of trousers that are kept on for the entire work day. The great thing about men’s pants is that they have pockets that can carry almost all of my EDC. I recommend never taking off one’s pants at work, for any reason whatsoever. I highly recommend keeping those trousers on whenever one has to invite a colleague into one’s office…
5) Cash. I am sure that in some societies, carrying two guns and a tourniquet is common sense. I live in a society with a functioning Constitution and declining rates of property crime, however, so I feel like those accoutrements are unnecessary…
The Horton article — “Here’s What It Looks Like When Your EDC List Is A Cry For Help” — is also a fun read, with useful consumer info to boot!
… I use my phone as a flashlight, personally, and I used to have one of those little LED lights you could squeeze on my keychain. Mostly, I just have flashlights in strategic locations in my house, where I can always get a hold of one in the event of power loss…
So what distinguishes Gorka’s preferred model 6P flashlight? Amazon has some fancy descriptions of it, like High Strength aerospace aluminum body, anodized for durability and Tactical tail cap switch – press for momentary on, twist for constant on. Tactical! You can earn the yearly GDP of Latvia just by calling random things tactical. It’s a frigging flashlight. You aren’t taking it into space, you’re going to the Sean Hannity show to yell at civil rights attorneys…
You can get those rectangle keychain flashlights personalized. I would suggest getting a gross of those with your Twitter handle or something on it, cramming a dozen in your pocket, and giving the rest away.
Considering the 6P costs $79.20 on Amazon and you can get 50 personalized key chain flashlights for $80.50, I think I’d rather have the boxload of lights I can put pictures of tanks or clowns or whatever on…
(I may be prejudiced, since I’ve made it a point to carry a cheap-but-functional flashlight in my purse ever since having to stumble my way down 60 flights of inadequately-lit safety stairs during a highrise “smoke incident”, pre-9/11. I also carry one of those credit-card-shaped emergency tools, because I’d rather use a pen knife than break my nails trying to open packages.)
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
I’m not wearing pants.
No gun, either.
Ruckus
How’s that go……. “This is my rifle, this is my gun……”
I’m thinking that as Gorka has to carry two, is it possible that his gun is defective?
Asking for a friend.
NobodySpecial
Pants are a tool of oppression.
I wear sweats. I am more worried about being able to crouch than to worry about being fashionable.
Villago Delenda Est
Seb Gorka’s military experience is limited to Hugo Boss cosplay.
fuckwit
Ammosexuals, LOL.
Mnemosyne
I guess my little mantra of “phone, keys, sunglasses, wallet” is my EDC.
As a lady type, I have socially acceptable sartorial choices other than pants.
eclare
The only thing somewhat odd about my EDC (nowhere near Gorka odd) is that I always have multiple pens and one small pad of paper. Always. Currently wearing shorts underneath a makeshift electric blanket: heating pad under a regular blanket. Much easier to clean than a regular electric blanket, which is key with a cat and a dog.
Starfish
@NobodySpecial: Yoga pants.
NotMax
Pants are so-o-o last century.
Adam L Silverman
I covered this at the time the story first broke in a comment, but I’ll paraphrase it here:
There is no way, shape, or form that Seb is carrying two carry to compact size double stack semi-autos unless he’s carrying one off body – as in his briefcase. I’ve had to carry a pistol for work. In Iraq. I wasn’t a big fan of the drop leg holster options I had, so I went with a pancake holster on my belt – if you look at the picture with Seb’s EDC profile, the burgundy leather holster in the picture is a pancake holster. Anyhow, I had the standard issue M9, so a full size double stack. But I do enough tactical firearms training, using a pancake holster with full size and compact and even subcompact pistols to tell you that even with a proper belt, there is no way he’s carrying two of those on his belt in dress trousers. And the decision to go with a New York reload (carrying to firearms instead of one with spare ammunition) might make sense if he was going to be visiting Yemen right now. For the swanky DC suburbs of Northern Virginia where he lives, he’d be far better off with a semi-compact single stack and a couple of spare magazines.
Also, you’ll notice in the profile that his pic at the range is a polo shirt with a Green Beret unit crest. I can tell you with 100% certainty that the only people that wear gear with unit crests on them are either people in/attached to the unit or the people sleeping with them. And poseur wannabes. Seb isn’t a Green Beret. He isn’t sleeping with one. So…
And with that, I’m to bed.
sukabi
@Ruckus: pretty sure the entire tool is defective…
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Extremely outside chance one is in actuality a PEZ dispenser.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: Well done.
One final point: I actually have a real, full size hisatsu. Not that folding crap he’s got. They don’t make them anymore:
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61aGy3B45jL._SL1500_.jpg
It was a back up weapon I carried in Iraq along with a folding/locking pocket knife and a thin, long tanto called a spike that is razor sharp and can be thrown if necessary.
https://images.knifecenter.com/thumb/1500×1500/knifecenter/coldsteel/images/53CT.jpg
And I had a survival knife in my bailout bag. This last one looks like a bowie and a kukhri had a kid. Anyhow, I actually teach Japanese weapons, so the hisatsu made sense as a back up weapon.
And with that too bed!
opiejeanne
Have all the Atlanta denizens gone to bed? I’m trying to figure out what happened between the Our Revolution people and The Resistance. What I think happened is that Bernie’s sponsored candidate got beaten badly in the primary and that faction refused to endorse the winner who happens to be a black woman and a Democrat, but I’m not sure that’s accurate.
The vote totals are very close, about 700 votes apart with Keisha Bottoms in the lead over Mary Norwood, who is white and calls herself an Independent. I have more than a little trouble with that title, as it usually just means a Republican who is ashamed to admit it. .
Aleta
To me it was like “7 makeup essentials Actress A won’t leave home without.” After all, he’s just an actor. Not really what he owns. (If he got paid partly in product, he does now though.) He gets income, we digest an ad for gift ideas for the tactical fetishist. Good marketing, since the brand exposure multiplies with all the mentions. Companies must be loving the serious debate generated about his “choices” too.
Duane
I have it upon porported reliable advice that pants are optional. Have I been decieved? Arrghh, balloon juice!
Elizabelle
France is in mourning. Johnny Hallyday, their version of Elvis, has died. Aged 74.
BBC report. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42247551
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Elizabelle: First Jerry Lewis and now this…
Elizabelle
@?BillinGlendaleCA: I hope Hallyday doesn’t turn out to be that much of a jerk.
Aleta
@?BillinGlendaleCA: And China is taking all their butter.
NobodySpecial
@Starfish: At my weight, I’m sure wearing them in public is a war crime.
Bruce K
I’m oddly particular about my pants; I get antsy if I’m wearing pants with only one hip pocket instead of two. (One hip pocket, on the right, is apparently a common choice in Greece.) Watch pocket, nice but not essential. Similarly for shirts, I’m uncomfortable in a button-down shirt that doesn’t have a breast pocket.
As for what I carry? Aside from my wallet, I keep one of those detachable-multi-keyring things to organize my keys, and it includes a single-AAA LED Maglite, a small Swiss Army knife about the size of the Maglite, with the tiny blade, file, scissor, and screwdriver/bottle opener thingy, and one of those Swisstech keychain pliers thingies. And my phone. (The phone doesn’t go on the keychain.)
But … yeah. There’s a difference between being prepared and posturing. Gorka strikes me as a posturing poseur (is that redundant?)…
OzarkHillbilly
@Adam L Silverman:
You sure about that?
lowtechcyclist
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one ridiculing the whole ‘tactical’ labeling thing. Here’s your ‘tactical’ screwdriver – that’s right, it’s not a strategic screwdriver, it doesn’t operate at that level. Great Power maneuvering isn’t its thing. But if you’re in a combat situation and you need help with tactics, this is the screwdriver for you!
The scary thing is, I was just joking. I picked ‘screwdriver’ as a random thing to call ‘tactical.’ And yet, a Google search of ‘tactical screwdriver’ turns up this:
They even have tactical pens, fercryinoutloud.
JPL
@opiejeanne: Bottoms claimed victory, and she was supported by Booker, and Kamala Harris among others. There were a lot of democrats who supported Norwood though, which is why the race was so close.
Although the Atlanta race was two females, in other races except for one, females beat their male competitors, including the city that I volunteered for the mayor’s election. Truthfully the race I volunteered for is a bittersweet win for me, because she went negative. The other candidate outspent her three to one, and sent out daily misogynistic flyers for the last few weeks. She responded at the end, and I don’t think it was necessary, which was proved by the results. She won by ten.
Now I have to get ready to go out of town for a few days.
J R in WV
I have a carry permit, it is reciprocal in most states except Illinois, Maryland, , or to visit Delaware and DC and NY. I don’t carry often unless I am headed for Arizona for several months. I got the CCW permit (as it is referred to here in WV) mostly to make it easy and legal to travel with my weapons cross country or to visit a friend in NC shoot with down there on licensed ranges.
It is a PITA to carry a weapon until you are very used to it. They are heavy, the ones I have are anyway. One is a Taurus .40 and the other is a Kimber .45 – so two different calibers. I got the Kimber for AZ after I was stalked by a mountain lion in my cousin’s back yard, where my RV was parked as a bunk house for us while building the little house out there.
The .45 shoots a bigger round, heavier bullet traveling faster, so better for a big cat. I feel more secure on that 2200 mile road trip too, exspecially since I read a story about a serial killer working on I-40, which I usually take most of the way out. That took a little of the road trip pleasure out of the trip.
So far all I’ve even shot has been targets, either paper targets pinned to a scrap of plywood or cans or empty plastic bottles, which are a challenge because they move around erratically when you hit them. Last couple of times I’ve done target practice I’ve shot formally some, two hand grip and aiming carefully at first. Then switched to off-hand shooting at bottles, just pointing the gun without aiming.
I was surprised right away by how accurate I was, either hitting the bottle squarely or very near it, and then being able to follow it as it moved with each shot. An empty pop bottle is a very small target compared to an aggressor. Fun shooting, too, which helps with the drudgery of the long cleanup afterwards.
I’m planning to travel out come mid-January, well before the gem and mineral shows get started so as to have plenty of time to work around the house. If you recall the fox pictures I sent in, those were taken quite near the house. I hope to get some nice cactus photos, there are quite a few nice cacti around our property, mostly natural, some we moved a little.
I’m acquainted with some of the neighbors now, which is good. The S family does regular group hiking, mostly in the Swisshelm Mountains East across the Valley from our foothills of the Dragoons, which is safer than hiking alone. I hope to talk them into climbing into the Dragoons, just West of our neighborhood. I hope I can adapt to the altitude of 5500 feet quickly, I have in the past but I’m older than that now.
There’s an interesting pegmatite over there, a geologic formation likely to have interesting gemstone crystals in it – I actually know it does, I’ve seen a great speciman of aquamarine beryl from there. I’m not sure exactly where in the formation that was found, but knowing there is some good stuff in there makes it fun searching.
I think I’m ready to try to go back to sleep again. Not going to be much of it this night. Dogs in and out, Mrs J calling out some in her sleep, nothing wrong, just an active dreamer.
Good morning, all!! Have a good day and keep an eye out …
OzarkHillbilly
@Duane: Pants are optional for me. I like to garden naked. My wife thinks it’s funny but wonders how the UPS man might react. shrug
Everyday carry? A Bic lighter. Haven’t smoked in 7 years and yet I still feel kinda naked without one in a pocket. Funnier still, I find myself using it. If I am working around the place, or actually working, I always have a utility knife (sometimes called a ‘box cutter’) in a side pocket of my carpenter’s whites. They have a thousand and one uses, everything from cutting garden twine to hijacking airliners. I haven’t carried a wallet in years, used to just rubber band my DL with Debit card, a credit card, insurance cards and a little cash, but recently my wife found an elastic band thingy made just for this purpose and now I use it. A few carpenter’s pencils, a permanent marker about rounds it out.
I have considered starting to carry a hammer with me everywhere I go. You think about it, it makes a hell of a lot more sense than a gun. One is far more likely to run into a nail that needs hammering down than a human being who needs shooting. YMMV depending upon neighborhood.
As to flashlights, don’t carry a cheapy. Get a good one ($15-20) or better yet, a good head lamp ($50-100) for hands free use. When I was caving our lives we’re kind of dependent on lights that didn’t fail at crucial times. Of course they did so we always carried three, usually 2 on the helmet with a 3rd & possibly 4th in a pack.
Shantanu Saha
@lowtechcyclist: I only buy strategic pocket gadgets.
Schlemazel
@J R in WV:
I `don’t own any pistols but I have shot many. IF I were to get one that Kimber .45 is a dandy. The ‘ultra carry’ is lighter and compact but has an amazingly small kickback. I am more accurate with that than any other thing I have fired.
My only tactical weapon was taken from me last time I was through DCA. I now no longer have a toothpick, tweezer, folding scissors and nail file in my pocket! I am sure the 1 inch blade of that victorinox weapon would have been enough to take over the plane so I’m glad for TSA
Feathers
I got one of those card holders for my cell phone and I began going to work and around town with just my phone and house keys, “like a dude.” If was the most oddly liberating feeling. I’ve gone back to usually carrying a purse, with the knitting and shop bag and cruft, but it was nice to not carry anything. You realize how “prepared for anything” can wear you down.
Boatboy_srq
@Adam L Silverman: It just dawned on me that ammosexuals like Gorka are so frightened and insecure that they can’t even go out in the warzones that Falls Church and Reston have become without packing heat.
/s
DHD
Pants are really useful, but even when I’m not wearing pants I usually keep my transit pass with me. You never know when your Mustang might break down in the middle of the sidewalk, and depending on where you live (i.e. in most developed countries outside the USA), there are convenient buses running on fixed routes that can get you to your destination in a reasonable amount of time even in a difficult tactical situation like that.
Depending on where you live, your smartphone may even be able to perform this function.
I admit, the temptation to carry around useless objects that make you feel cool is powerful. I kept a NIS binding key on my keychain for a long time, until I realized that the chances of needing to adjust my skis for optimum grip or glide in everyday life were exactly zero. Mainly I just liked the Rottefella logo, which looks like a thrash metal band from the ’80s.
You will never, however, convince me to remove the Straub bottle-opener from my keychain. It may not be very functional, and it isn’t even a good beer, but it’s made out of a very impressive hunk of probably-American stainless steel.
Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)
@OzarkHillbilly: You garden naked? That seems potentially….perilous. Like at a Cole level.
Matt McIrvin
@lowtechcyclist: “Tactical” means “for gun fetishists,” doesn’t it? It’s a political dogwhistle.
Ian G.
@OzarkHillbilly:
Beat me to it.
Amaranthine RBG
I hear that Gorka also refers to magazines as “clips.”
Also “tactical” was a tired expression 15 years ago.
Rugosa
@Mnemosyne: A male friend of mine used to recite “Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch” as his ready-to-go mantra. I’ve always regretted that, while “ovaries” scans, it doesn’t have that neat near-rhyme.
Feebog
@Starfish: @DHD:
“You never know when your Mustang might break down”
You ride a horse to work?
Villago Delenda Est
@Amaranthine RBG: Infantrymen refer to magazines as “clips”.
It’s more of Seb’s soldier wannabe crap.
The Moar You Know
@Matt McIrvin: They’re a subset of the rubes it’s aimed at, so yes, but also for other groups of equally insane people.
No, just literally the easiest way to get idiots to spend twenty bucks for a three dollar item.
As for my EDC, just the usual guy stuff, plus a Leatherman TSA-approved Mini (which I never use and will drop from the keychain soon) and a Buck 110. I’ve carried the Buck since high school. Use it all the time.
Also: super pissed about the CC reciprocity thing going through Congress, because it will pass. Most of CA does not, as a practical matter, allow CC and that has always made me very happy. If out-of-state idiots can come in and CC anywhere they like I’m going to be fucking pissed. We don’t need or want that.
Creature
When I carried a gun (illegally, of course), I also carried a small knife. When quizzed by my gun-nut colleagues as to why I would carry an obviously probably-not-capable-of-inflicting-deadly-wounds knife, I simply replied ‘I am not going to shoot a package open.’ These were the same guys who, when they asked me what I was going to do to survive the imminent ‘race war’, I told them I would kill a couple of them and take their ‘survival shit’. One said ‘Brilliant plan!’ I left the gun club, not long after that. Those guys just weren’t ‘progressive’ enough…
Stan
@Villago Delenda Est:
Never heard that, honest. Everybody usually said ‘mags’.