Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

The most dangerous place for a black man in America is in a white man’s imagination.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The words do not have to be perfect.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Republicans in disarray!

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

You cannot shame the shameless.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh Man! Shocking Edition

Floriduh Man! Shocking Edition

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Floriduh Man! is trying to finish the year off strong. And when I say finish off, I mean finish off!

From The Daytona Beach Sentinel-Journal:

A Palm Coast man rigged the front door of his home with wiring attached to a car battery charger in an attempt to electrocute his pregnant wife, Flagler County Sheriff’s investigators said.

Michael Wilson, 32, is accused of trying to kill his wife after he attached electrical devices to the inside of the deadbolt lock and the door handle of their Palm Coast home, according to a charging affidavit. The ploy, which could have easily led to her death, was to have her insert the house key and then grab the handle, completing the circuit and sending a jolt of electricity through her arm, chest and heart.

Steven Bray, a journeyman lineman from from Florida Power & Light, was shown several photographs of what deputies described as the “booby trap” and he said that a person who touched the door lock and handle at the same time would receive a jolt of some 120 volts and 1 amp, enough power that the person had an 80 to 100 percent chance of “suffering death or great bodily harm,” according to the affidavit.

Wilson is charged with two counts of attempted aggravated battery on a pregnant person and one count of grand theft of a firearm.

“This is one of the most bizarre domestic violence cases I have seen in my career,” Sheriff Rick Staley said in a statement. “Not only did this man try to electrocute his wife, but he could have injured a deputy or any person attempting to enter this residence. Thankfully this man was found and taken into custody before he could cause the harm he intended.”

An interview with Wilson’s wife, whose name is redacted throughout the report, shed light on the scene. She said that a few months ago her husband fell but he refused to seek medical treatment.

“Up until that point, (Wilson) seemed to be a normal person,” she told the detective.

He was later hospitalized under Florida’s Baker Act — which allows for someone to be involuntarily taken into custody for mental evaluation — in late November.

More shocking details at the link!

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

77Comments

  5. 5.

    Pyre Light

    A true Floriduh man would have been caught because he accidentally electricuted himself. Although changing your Facebook status to “widowed” ahead of time is a nice touch.

  9. 9.

    scav

    In light of the immediately previous thread, I do rather note that Mr Sheriff clearly draws sme kind of distinction between deputies and (mere) other people who may have opened the door. And O! the jokes about battery that could be in play here for headline writers. (Just to add two entirely different left fields to an already incoherent thread.)

  10. 10.

    lahke

    So folks on Bloomberg are predicting that all of us high-SALT state people will be moving down to red, no-tax Florida. Are they out of their minds? Sorry, Betty, but I can’t imagine being surrounded by these folks.

  14. 14.

    Duane

    The Miami Dolphin’s assistant coach professing his love for his Las Vegas hooker girlfriend cannot be overlooked. Fired within 24 hours. On record.

  15. 15.

    Amir Khalid

    It strikes me as odd that the police redacted the name of Michael Wilson’s wife in their incident report, and thought that was enough to protect her identity. She is already identified as his wife, and as the daughter of a couple identified by name and town of residence. People now know precisely who she is, and from there it’s a trivial matter to dig up her name. If the police and the newspaper wanted to keep her identity confidential, they shouldn’t have released any names at all. And if that made the story unusable, so be it.

  16. 16.

    charluckles

    At least the husband has an excuse of being mentally ill. What about the wife and stepfather who think bringing a pistol into the house is a good solution to said mental illness issue?

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Gotta link it.

    Natalie Borg, 19, a freshman from Riverwoods, said the dreidel teaches a lot about life. “In life sometimes things get taken away from you, sometimes you win,” she said. “You can’t plan where the dreidel is going to land.”

    ;)

  20. 20.

    Jay S

    @lahke: We need a relocation strategy to underpopulated and under taxed locations to take over local politics. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  25. 25.

    Mary G

    Zinke’s gotta go:

    The Department of the Interior says it made a mistake by trying to use wildfire preparedness funds to pay for an unrelated helicopter tour of Nevada taken by Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke this summer. Really, you think?— Citizens for Ethics (@CREWcrew) December 29, 2017

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    @Mary G:
    On the other hand, Zinke can point to the example of dem Scheißgibbon, who managed to bankrupt the Secret Service’s annual budget inside the first few months of his presidency.

  41. 41.

    Ruckus

    @Steve in the ATL:
    When I was moving out of OH I sat down with a map and figured out the places I might move to. Four states out of 50 made the cut, took less than 5 minutes. I did have the experience of having worked in 46 of the 50 in the job I was leaving. That made it a lot easier. FL and TX weren’t among the four.

  49. 49.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Steeplejack: I responded to the first comment, but the commenter changed his comment completely. After that the commenter rather mocked the people who commented on his original comment. Not cool.

  60. 60.

    Steeplejack

    I’m done for the year. Went out today to get my auto tags updated, had lunch at a pretty good Mexican place, got groceries, gassed up the doughty Kia and got a good parking spot in case any snowfall is more than the 1" that is predicted overnight and tomorrow (Saturday). I’m well equipped to hole up for the next few days, and I have no plans to go out.

    It’s bitterly cold (for NoVA)—24° now, briefly getting into the low 30s tomorrow and then going way down, highs in the mid-20s and lows around 12° for the next few days. I’m formulating my water-trickling strategy to avoid frozen pipes. My building is a brick pile—three floors, six units, built around 1960—that retains heat pretty well, but this will be by far the coldest stretch in my five years here.

    Most important, I am well stocked with cat food, and the housecat’s heating pad is maintaining her microfleece throw at an acceptable base temperature. That is all.

  64. 64.

    Gvg

    Sad story. I don’t see why it’s considered a Florida man story because a head injury followed by personality is just bad luck and can happen to anyone anywhere. In fact I knew a woman whose husband had that happen and she had to flee with her daughter to Florida from one of the northeastern states. Complete personality change to violent and her in laws helped her and were left trying to control the changed adult son…just really sad. Fortunately very rare.

  66. 66.

    eclare

    @Gvg: Yeah, I also have a different read. My dad has fallen on his head maybe six or seven times in the past week, including twice on Christmas. He is now in the hospital, a completely different person.

  68. 68.

    Ydobon

    It’s shocking, I know, but I blame Ben Franklin for being positive when he should have been negative:

  73. 73.

    No Drought No More

    “The garage entrance is blocked, be sure to use the front door”.

    Lenny Bruce spoke of a mad bomber who brought down an airliner by handing his mother a “gift” with the bomb inside (circa 1960). Bruce said he told her as she boarded: “I love you Mom… just be sure to open your present over water”.

  74. 74.

    Uncle Cosmo

    Here in Balmer Merlin, hon, the high for the day is spozeta be 33. After which the mercury drops & (according to predictions) will not climb above freezing again until the 8th. I feel for my friends going to the Bengals-Ravens game on NYE – temps in the low 20s with wind chill probably in single digits. I was in one of their seats for a season finale some years back & it was a couple of days before I could feel anything below either ankle. Fuck polar vortices!

  75. 75.

    J R in WV

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD):

    My grandmother had psoriasis, and back in the 1930-50s they treated it with arsenic. She developed a tolerance for the poisonous heavy metal, as everyone will, and took enough to kill a troop of boy scouts, to quote my father, source of this medical tidbit.

    She was quite the lady in town, garden club, women’s club, hosting tea.

  76. 76.

    SWMBO

    @Steeplejack: Be careful. My uncle told of the time they tried that in Michigan and the incoming pipe trickled all night. The drain pipes froze and there was an ice water flood the next morning.

  77. 77.

    BroD

    Am I really the first to note the phrase, “aggravated battery”?
    C’mon, peeps, step up your game!

Comments are closed.