Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

When I was faster i was always behind.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

If you don’t believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love isn’t freedom, it is privilege.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Trumpflation is an intolerable hardship for every American, and it’s Trump’s fault.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

Also, are you sure you want people to rate your comments?

The words do not have to be perfect.

Welcome to day five of every-bit-as-bad-as-you-thought-it-would-be.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Open Thread: Readership Capture

Open Thread: Readership Capture

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Insert your own jokes about those Trump administration members who don’t expect to end up serving prison sentences:

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And finally, a well-considered opinion on Trump’s health issues:

Reader Interactions

76Comments

  1. 1.

    WaterGirl

    I posted this at the end of the thread just below this, then saw that a new thread was up.
    From OzarkHillbilly in the morning thread. How awful.

    Gonna be out of pocket for a few days. Heading down to NOLA. My youngest got runover (details are sketchy). Presumably he is still alive (have not heard from his wife since last night). He has displaced fractures in both legs. Hopefully, they can save them. I have no idea of what other injuries he has.

    Right now I am in emotional lock down. I feel nothing. I suppose that will change when I see him.

    edit: Then found this later in the thread, posted about an hour after the first one Hopeful, anyway.

    Just got off the phone with my oldest son. CJ is in surgery now. So far the coin keeps flipping the right way and the news keeps getting better. Rare that that happens for this boy.

    Adios, Amigos, Amigas.

  3. 3.

    Mnemosyne

    Today is also the birthdays of two Star Wars actors: James Earl Jones and Kelly Marie Tran.

    A butthurt MRA dude decided to re-edit The Last Jedi to take out all of the chick stuff and is getting righteously dragged for it on Twitter.
    ?????

    I hope getting personally mocked by Mark Hamill will help him re-think his life. Probably not, though.

  8. 8.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    @Mnemosyne:
    You’re right. He won’t rethink his life.

    “Hamill has bought into feminazi agitprop” is what he’ll probably think. He should try editing out Leia from the original film. I guarantee it won’t make sense without her.

  9. 9.

    Aleta

    United States border patrol agents routinely vandalise containers of water and other supplies left in the Arizona desert for migrants, condemning people to die of thirst in baking temperatures, according to two (Tuscan-based) humanitarian groups.
    …
    Volunteers found water gallons vandalised 415 times, on average twice a week, in an 800 sq mile patch of Sonoran desert south-west of Tucson, from March 2012 to December 2015, the report said. The damage affected 3,586 gallons. The report also accused border patrol agents of vandalising food and blankets and harassing volunteers in the field.

    “Through statistical analysis, video evidence, and personal experience, our team has uncovered a disturbing reality. In the majority of cases, US border patrol agents are responsible for the widespread interference with essential humanitarian efforts.”

    The report, published Wednesday by No More Deaths and La Coalición de Derechos Humanos said wildlife – as well as hunters, hikers and border militia members – also damaged aid drops. But it said the main culprits were agents from border patrol, a branch of Customs and Border Protection, which is part of the department of Homeland Security.

    “The practice of destruction of and interference with aid is not the deviant behavior of a few rogue border patrol agents, it is a systemic feature of enforcement practices in the borderlands.”

    Steve Passament, a border patrol spokesman in the The Tucson sector, said the agency did not condone the destruction or tampering of water or food caches. “We don’t want to see anyone out there die. We have to do our enforcement job and we do it as humanely as possible. We want to save lives.”

    -from The Guardian, also in Jezebel

  12. 12.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    @Aleta:
    If the story is true, then the Border Patrol, like ICE, is out of control. That spokesman is lying and CYAing.

  15. 15.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodingers_cat:

    Meh. I’m only annoyed with the dudebros who are whining that there are too many chicks in it. If Star Wars isn’t your thing, no biggie. I enjoyed it, but I’m an old-school fan who saw the first one in its original release back in 1977.

    (IIRC, so did efgoldman, and he was deeply bored by it even then, so … ?)

  16. 16.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @WaterGirl: So far the coin keeps flipping the right way and the news keeps getting better.

    That’s awful news. I hope the good side keeps coming up for OzH jr

  17. 17.

    donnah

    Michelle Obama, so beautiful, so smart, such a great woman! And she does look stunning in that photo. I got the Obama, An Intimate Portrait book by Pete Souza for Christmas. It’s a ray of sunshine in this stormy political climate. Seeing the best President in my lifetime captured in countless situations and maintaining poise and dignity…it’s heartbreaking compared to what we have now. Obama and Michelle stand head and shoulders above the current occupant and his occasional wife, and they will never be diminished in my eyes.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    Reuters interviews Trump…

    “I’d sit down, but I‘m not sure that sitting down will solve the problem,” he said, noting that past negotiations with the North Koreans by his predecessors had failed to rein in North Korea’s nuclear and missile programs.

    He blamed his three immediate predecessors, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama, for failing to resolve the crisis and, a day after his doctor gave him a perfect score on a cognitive test, suggested he had the mental acuity to solve it.

    “I guess they all realized they were going to have to leave it to a president that scored the highest on tests,” he said.

    Is he going to be bragging about SAT scores next?

  20. 20.

    ? ?? Goku (aka The Hope of the Universe) ? ?

    @dmsilev:
    He’s overcompensating now that everyone is fully aware of how mentally adled he is

  21. 21.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @dmsilev: at the risk of being accused of retroactively normalizing Dumbya, I will say with confidence that he could, at most hours of the day, draw a clock and explain what a banana and an orange have in common.

  22. 22.

    geg6

    @Mnemosyne:

    I saw the original the first weekend it came out, too. And I loved TLJ.

    Not quite as much as I love and adore Michelle O. Man, she truly is stunning and that photo says it all. Happy birthday, Forever First Lady.

  24. 24.

    Kay

    Matthew Yglesias
    ‏@mattyglesias
    3h3 hours ago
    More
    Probably Trump had an affair with Stormy Daniels and then secretly paid her hush money, but also that’s the only woman he ever paid off and definitely no foreign intelligence services knew anything about it.
    53 replies 537 retweets 2,327 likes

    Are we ever going to get any transparency or accounting on why the Stormy Daniels story was spiked? Maybe voters wouldn’t have cared but shouldn’t they have been let in on the “secret” everyone knew, in case they did care?

    The fact that they were under criminal investigation was kept from us, and the fact that Trump was paying hush money to his friend Stormy was also kept from us. A year into this clusterfuck we’re finally getting some news and all of it was known to thousands of people but somehow wasn’t reported.

  28. 28.

    Yarrow

    @WaterGirl: Oh, gosh. Thanks for re-posting. I missed that in the morning thread. Sending good thoughts to OzH, Jr and family. Doesn’t lahm36 live in New Orleans? Maybe she could be a local contact if he needs help with something.

    Happy birthday to Michelle Obama. She’s so inspiring and amazing. How lucky we were to have her as our First Lady for eight years.

  29. 29.

    debbie

    @schrodingers_cat:

    There’s a broadcast channel here (“Heros and Icons”) that runs all of the Star Trek series on weeknights. If nothing else is on, it’s fun watching them again.

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I like both, but “Star Wars” is the one that was big during my childhood and adolescence. Many afternoons of running around pretending to be chased by the Empire.

    “Trek” is definitely more cerebral and thoughtful. We got totally sucked into First Contact when it was on cable the other night.

    I knew that the whole TLJ kerfuffle was a Gamergate thing when the “Star Wars” obsessed guys my own age all loved it.

  33. 33.

    Jack the Second

    @schrodingers_cat: I enjoyed it, but thought it had too many climaxes. At several points in the movie, I thought it was almost over, because they had some big climactic moment. Then, nope, more stuff happens.

  39. 39.

    Yarrow

    @randy khan: Well, to be fair, having to identify animals from looking at drawings of them might be right up there with the last kind of test he took. Like in elementary school.

  41. 41.

    Mnemosyne

    @geg6:

    Laura Dern is only a couple of years older than I am, and I got a vibe that getting to play a Rebel general opposite Princess Leia was a dream come true. ?

  45. 45.

    Gin & Tonic

    @dmsilev:

    It’s a screen for dementia, not a PhD oral.

    Kinda dumb and OT, but I had a professor who had refused to take his orals. Said he found the concept demeaning.

  48. 48.

    Roger Moore

    @dmsilev:

    He apparently didn’t understand, or is hoping that other people don’t understand, what a low bar “acing” that particular cognitive test is.

    I’m going with “didn’t understand”. FWIW, I don’t think his failure to understand is a result of cognitive impairment; it’s a result of an overinflated ego.

  51. 51.

    Mnemosyne

    @Kay:

    A year into this clusterfuck we’re finally getting some news and all of it was known to thousands of people but somehow wasn’t reported.

    IMO, people are tired of the rich and powerful having “open secrets.” Real tired. That’s what the whole #TimesUp thing is about in the entertainment industry.

  52. 52.

    kindness

    Jefferson Beuregard Sessions…..now that’s a grave I could pee on. If I’m ever in Alabama. Which means it’ll never happen. Sounds like a future Craigslist job to some lucky person with an extended bladder.

  54. 54.

    Roger Moore

    @schrodingers_cat:

    So no insanity defense when BM hauls him before the grand jury.

    That’s not guaranteed. This test is for dementia, not for sanity. So he’ll have a hard time pleading diminished mental capacity, but it’s possible that he’s not legally sane.

  56. 56.

    Yutsano

    What? 54 comments in and NO ONE is gonna mention it’s also the birthday of that great jewel (and former pin-up girl) Betty White? I am disappoint.

  57. 57.

    ruemara

    @Mnemosyne: I’d have paid money to do it. I had major issues with parts of the film, but I’m a fangirl through and through. I just want to work on the next, thank you.

    Sending good thoughts to Ozark & fam.

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yutsano:

    If you look at the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Facebook page, they have photos of Betty feeding a sea otter and petting a penguin. ?

  61. 61.

    JeanneT

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I think it was the same test my father took every time he saw his gerontologist and his motor disorder specialist. It is a clue to diagnosing neurological and cognitive problems and their progression – for example, when my dad (who had Parkinson’s disease) drew the clock at each visit, you could see the big changes in his ability to draw the circle and to number the dial as his disease progressed. But I have to admit even when I was in my 20’s and 30’s I would have struggled with remembering lists and counting backward!

  62. 62.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    @dmsilev: Back when I was in grad school(back in the Dark Ages), my Micro principles prof gave the same question on the final to us and his Micro survey class; we(the grad students) did much worse on the question, we over thought the question.

  63. 63.

    Yarrow

    @Yutsano: I saw it was Betty White’s 94th birthday today. Happy birthday to her! She’s so amazing. I hope she’s doing okay. I haven’t seen much of her recently.

  64. 64.

    Yutsano

    @Mnemosyne: There’s some on their Twitter feed too! Have a friend who works at one of the So Cal aquariums (don’t recall which one off the top of my head) but that’s right up his alley.

    He’s also a dead ringer for Daniel Dae Kim.

    @Yarrow: I so want some kind of TV show/movie with her and James Earl Jones now. Especially since they’re both getting up there in the age department.

    And I’m not too surprised Betty is (finally) slowing down. She’s had such an amazing career.

  65. 65.

    Yarrow

    @Yutsano: They could just do a short series–a few episodes of something. It would be awesome. I loved watching her on “Hot in Cleveland.” The show itself was okay, but they’d get some great guest stars and Betty White owns every scene she’s in. She’s such a gem.

  67. 67.

    debbie

    @dmsilev:

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. Someone call bullshit to his face already:

    “I guess they all realized they were going to have to leave it to a president that scored the highest on tests,” he said.

  69. 69.

    Gelfling 545

    @dmsilev: If you look at the test, you see that it is only meant to detect the presence of senile dementia. It does not rule out mental illness, stupidity or just plain jackassery. Of course, no one felt the need to suggest that either Clinton, Bush or Obama was in need of such a test. He’s got nothing to brag about.

  70. 70.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @debbie:

    Dale @ ddale8
    Reuters has changed the “he said” on Trump’s boast about the cognitive test to “he joked.” (Absent audio, I will remain highly skeptical.)

  75. 75.

    J R in WV

    Glad to hear any positive news about the younger Hillbilly spawn. Ozark is going to have a hard time, I hear it’s frozen over down there. He’s used to it… but still, no one else is. Plus the worry.

    We Hillbillies (and by We I mean Democratic ones!) have to stick together~!

    Hang in there, Ozark!! Not many of us old cavers still around.

  76. 76.

    J R in WV

    And that picture of Ms Obama in the White House in the original post is wonderful.

    She is a stunning beauty in that picture, and in life. And a scary smart lawyer, too. Great combination … I miss them so much.

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