Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Giving in to doom is how we fail to fight for ourselves & one another.

Let there be snark.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

The only way through is to slog through the muck one step at at time.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

American history and black history cannot be separated.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

So many bastards, so little time.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Trump should be leading, not lying.

You are here: Home / Ohhhhh, Internet, I Love it When You Give it to Me Good Like That

Ohhhhh, Internet, I Love it When You Give it to Me Good Like That

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Just hold me and whisper this story into my ear baby:

Meet Chris Christie, former New Jersey governor and current nobody at Newark Liberty International Airport.

The two-term Republican, who left office on Jan. 16, was blocked from a VIP entrance he had used for eight years, and directed to stand in Transportation Security Administration screening lines at Terminal B like anyone else, according to a person familiar with the incident.

The order came from police for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the airport, according to the person, who wasn’t authorized to speak publicly about security matters. The Port Authority also operates the George Washington Bridge, the target of a plot by Christie aides and allies to tie up traffic for political punishment in 2013.

Christie, and the state trooper who accompanied him for his security detail, complied with the instructions, the person said.

The former governor used the entrance, reserved for some airport employees and flyers who need extra security, for his two terms. He spent more than half of 2015 out of New Jersey traveling and campaigning for his failed White House bid.

If I smoked I’d need a cigarette so instead I think I will just take a nap.

Reader Interactions

123Comments

  6. 6.

    encephalopath

    Why does Chris Christie have as state trooper security detail? He’s not the governor anymore. Does NJ have some sort of Secret Service like security-for-life arrangement for its former governors?

  7. 7.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (gasp! gasp) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (gasp! gasp) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  10. 10.

    What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Just a smidge of comeuppance for Big Chicken. He deserves much worse. Hope he gets turned away from every NJ State park entrance for the rest of his miserable life.

  12. 12.

    catclub

    The reason it is news is that you can bet all the other former Governors were not turned away (even though they no longer were officially in the VIP class), – because they had not tried to screw the Port Authority.

  14. 14.

    Steeplejack

    @encephalopath:

    Just what I was going to ask. It’s getting to the point where I’m not going to be surprised to find out that former county commissioners and dogcatchers have security details. Maybe they should think about not being such assholes when they’re in office.

    Also, and this is the one issue that I can’t seem to keep track of, is Christie in the clear on Bridgegate? I know that some of his minions got convicted, but what is his legal status? Or is he just going to walk? If so, grr!

    ETA: I see the security question has been answered.

  16. 16.

    trollhattan

    How long before somebody tells him to fetch his shine box?

    How long before his kids get into politics, just like Huck’s?

  17. 17.

    Mike in NC

    Christie looks mortified. He can’t imagine actually having to wait with pond scum private citizens instead of having head-of-the-line privileges at Krispy Kreme.

  18. 18.

    Chip Daniels

    I wonder if they held a drawing to see who got to tell him to fuck off and get his shine box?

  20. 20.

    oldgold

    From the Mother Jones’ article referenced above:

    “She says one time he (Trump) made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.”

  24. 24.

    Baud

    We need a Sharknado vs. King Kong movie to distract Trump whenever he starts thinking about nuclear war.

  25. 25.

    Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant)

    OT: Matty Y retweets a Vox “Calling out 45’s racism won’t work” article and gets dragged for it

    The question isn’t whether Trump is racist (he is) it’s whether harping on that is a good way to defeat racism. https://t.co/dq32PAX6Ns— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) January 18, 2018

    A privileged view if ever one existed.Sincerely,One of the people w/a bullseye on his back— CPT Cisco2018?? (@BenCisco) January 18, 2018

    I was told we couldn’t call the Tea Party racist. I was told we couldn’t call Trump supporters deplorable yet now, here we are. So, no…I will continue to “harp” on the white supremacist in the White House because anything less is complicity.— Lili Peck (@LiliPeck63) January 18, 2018

    Man, remember when all those army dudes and countries kept harping on Hitler for being a Nazi and harping on and on about him killing Jews?— PaulRyanPeak (@PaulRyanPeak) January 18, 2018

  26. 26.

    oldgold

    Worse or better, depending your point of view, the Forbes magazine supposedly had Donald, Donald, Jr. and Ivanka on the cover.

  29. 29.

    gene108

    @Baud:

    We need a Sharknado vs. King Kong movie to distract Trump whenever he starts thinking about nuclear war.

    I think the underlying plot of Sharknado would be too complex for Trump to handle. Complex weather patterns are more than he can comprehend.

  33. 33.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Ben Cisco (onboard the Defiant):

    it’s whether harping on that is a good way to defeat racism.

    Hell, yes. It is absolutely necessary. That white liberals have given Republicans the benefit of the doubt, have looked for any other explanation before calling out people and actions as racist, is why we’ve had to deal with forty years of Reaganite destruction. Rich, poor, elected, WWC, call it what it is. They’re racists. If we won’t admit it exists, we can’t fight it.

    EDIT – While Obama and Democrats did sterling work during his administration, guess what drove the other side to frothing, insane, suicide-bomber efforts to do as much damage as possible at the same time? RACISM.

  39. 39.

    Roger Moore

    @Eric S.:

    A Forbes magazine with Trump on the cover because of course it was the best.

    An equally plausible explanation is that it was always going to be a magazine with Trump’s face on the cover because admiring his mug on the cover is the only reason he’d ever buy one. He sure isn’t going to buy a magazine with the intention of reading it.

  40. 40.

    mai naem mobile

    There was a longish piece in Politico this weekend about Christie’s political career. Theu mentioned the warts but they had people comparing his politiCal skills to those of Bill Clinton. I don’t see it. I don’t even think Obama was as good a politician as Clinton was. Biden maybe the closest to Clinton’s level .

  41. 41.

    Mnemosyne

    @ruemara:

    Yglasias is well-known at this point for his knee-jerk hot takes. Wasn’t he one of the assholes piling on Chelsea Clinton to demand that she pinky-swear never to run for office, ever, anywhere?

  43. 43.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Eric S.:

    A Forbes magazine with Trump on the cover because of course it was the best.

    It wasn’t because He Donald was on the cover. It was because Ivanka was on the cover, and Stormy reminded him of Ivanka, so it was really like Ivanka was spanking him, and you’ll have to excuse me now because I need to throw up.

  45. 45.

    JPL

    rikyrah posted this below

    FULL INTERVIEW: Jorge Garcia and his family discuss his deportation to Mexico after living 30 years in the U.S., and their message to Pres. Trump and Congress. https://t.co/f8u2wc159S pic.twitter.com/qURlXCVhhD

    — The View (@TheView) January 18, 2018

    Watch it and remember that Melania became a citizen in 2006 and her parents soon after. It’s time to ask the ass what merit based means.

  47. 47.

    Roger Moore

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    I’ll stick with my explanation. It was a Forbes with Donald on the cover because he doesn’t read, so the only reason for him to have a magazine is to admire his picture on the cover.

  53. 53.

    mai naem mobile

    @tsquared2001: you might want to remember Obama calling Clinton ‘explainer in chief.’ BTW, I like Obama quite a bit more than Clinton. I just think Clinton is a better retail politician than Obama.

  56. 56.

    Mnemosyne

    @Roger Moore:

    I think Daniels’ claim is that it was a cover with Trump’s kids on it, but keep in mind that, as a narcissist, his kids are mere extensions of himself, so having them on the cover is an honor for him, not them.

  57. 57.

    schrodingers_cat

    I too love the internet, I found this gem, Amit Trivedi’s (music composer for Hindi movies including “Queen”) live performance at an award show featuring an acapella band and several folk singers from various parts of India, featuring many of his compositions.
    Sounds of a nation ( Kashmir, Bengal, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Gujarat, South India , Punjab). One thing I like about the new generation of Hindi movies since the last decade they don’t shy away from India’s linguistic diversity. You can hear at least 7 languages besides Hindi.
    Sounds of a Nation

  58. 58.

    MomSense

    @mai naem mobile:

    It’s so subjective. Bill Clinton never did it for me. There was no question that he was intelligent but I never related to him. Like his predecessor, he was also a bit of a close talker (if you know what I mean) and I don’t do well with that. Some of my friends and family members had a completely different reaction so I’m sure it was just me.

    I do think that it was a big mistake not to use him during the 2016 campaign in some of those midwestern areas we lost ground in. Hillary was viewed as too liberal but they loved Bill.

  61. 61.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Roger Moore:

    We can both be right. He acquired the magazine in the first place because he was on the cover. But he selected that particular magazine, which also had Ivanka on the cover, for Stormy to spank him with.

  62. 62.

    MoxieM

    Posted on my FB feed along with Cheap Trick Live from Budokan version of Ain’t That a Shame. Well played, whoever!

  66. 66.

    JPL

    fuck

    The Supreme Court said Thursday night that North Carolina does not immediately have to redraw its congressional district maps, meaning the 2018 elections will be held in districts that a lower court found unconstitutional.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/01/18/supreme-court-says-north-carolina-does-not-have-to-immediately-redraw-congressional-maps-that-a-lower-court-ruled-unconstitutional/?hpid=hp_no-name_hp-breaking-news%3Apage%2Fbreaking-news-bar&tidr=a_breakingnews&utm_term=.6159b6e4d4bf

  69. 69.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    @oldgold:

    “Yep,” the other consultant replied. “She says one time he made her sit with him for three hours watching ‘shark week.’ Another time he had her spank him with a Forbes magazine.”

    BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH

    Hilarous! This is why “The Gorilla Channel” parody rang so true.

  70. 70.

    Aleta

    @oldgold: Here’s what’s really weird:

    According to 2009 emails between political operatives who were at the time advising Daniels on a possible political campaign … HUH?

    In early 2009, Daniels announced that she was considering challenging Sen. David Vitter, the Louisiana Republican who two years earlier had been snared in a sex scandal. Vitter’s phone number was discovered in the records of the so-called D.C. Madam, who ran a prostitution ring in the nation’s capital. Vitter, who now is a lobbyist, was a prominent social conservative who opposed abortion and gay marriage.

    Daniels was serious enough about running that she embarked on a May 2009 “listening tour” of the state and held discussions with local political consultants. Those conversations included coming up with possible campaign contributors. According to a May 8, 2009, email written by an operative advising Daniels, who asked not to be identified, Daniels at one point scrolled through her cellphone contacts to provide her consultants with a list of names. The email noted that the potential donors (included) Donald Trump.

    This email was sent to Andrea Dubé, a Democratic political consultant based in New Orleans.

    Wonder who was encouraging her to campaign. Who was paying the consultants?

  71. 71.

    MisterForkbeard

    @JPL: ….So the Supreme Court’s reasoning is that we should be able to hold elections with unconstitutionally gerrymandered district maps?

    That’s…. odd.

  75. 75.

    Jeffro

    @oldgold: I saw that! Twitter is on fire with hilarious stuff as usual

    But “both sides”: y’all remember hearing about Hillary fooling around with that male porn star, and getting sprayed with an issue of the New Yorker right ? And then she paid him big bucks to go away and lied about ever having the affair ?

    ??????

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @MomSense:

    I am completely grossed out by him, too. But there is a pathology there that I find … fascinating, for lack of a better word.

  83. 83.

    Roger Moore

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    My point is that you could have chosen any magazine in the place and it would have Trump’s face on it. He doesn’t read, so the only reason he’d buy a magazine is for the ego gratification of seeing his face on the cover.

  84. 84.

    satby

    @Gelfling 545: former VISTA here too, and that that POS was put in charge of National Service infuriates me. Especially because his racist misogynist xenophobic views were probably considered a plus.

  87. 87.

    satby

    @NotMax: yes, I think you may have pointed me to that site in that comment to. The book is great! And I’m almost done with Mrs. Maisel. Thanks for recommending it.
    Edited to add: ow! I had a typhoid shot today and didn’t think it was going to bother me, but it’s aching now.

  88. 88.

    artem1s

    oh my! all you Dolt45 toadies, especially those who are gleefully planning a shutdown tomorrow, look upon your future and weep. Every government employee you have contact with for the rest of your lives is going to take great pleasure in sticking it to you, just because they can. You will once again be nobodies and your shithole boss won’t care one whit that you are a nobody again.

  89. 89.

    Mnemosyne

    @JPL:

    That was the whole purpose of blocking Garland. But, hey, Garland was on the wrong side of one (1) Guantanamo case, so the purity ponies decided he wasn’t worth supporting and the whole thing about the Senate refusing to even schedule a hearing just faded away.

  90. 90.

    Roger Moore

    @MisterForkbeard:
    Their reasoning is that the lower court doesn’t know for sure that the map is unconstitutional because there are cases in front of the Supreme Court right now on the issue of partisan gerrymandering. The idea is that they want the lower court to wait for that ruling before doing anything in North Carolina. I agree that this is probably an attempt to stall the ruling long enough there won’t be time to redistrict and the 2018 election will have to take place with the old map, but there is at least some plausible logic to it.

  91. 91.

    MJS

    @Princess: @mai naem mobile: You don’t see it because it’s not there. In fact, Clinton and Christie are pretty much polar opposites in terms of political skills. Bill got impeached but left office with high approval ratings that went higher after. Christie skated on his behavior, and has an approval rating of 17%.

  92. 92.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    I always have my GF dress up in a tennis outfit and spank me with a tennis magazine that once featured my sister who was on the women’s tour.

    Nothing freudian about that.

    Then we relax by watching 17 hours of the godzilla channel. .

  93. 93.

    NotMax

    @satby

    Really don’t need yet another kitchen appliance, but leaning more and more heavily into taking the plunge and getting an Instant Pot. Probably the smallest one (3 qt.) as when I’m cooking it’s nearly always for one, plus fairly sure it uses less electricity (which is dang expensive in HI).

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne

    @NotMax:

    I think the consensus on the long thread a few weeks ago was that if you’re expecting to get the same result as you do from a traditional pressure cooker, you’ll be disappointed, but if you adjust your techniques and expectations, it’s pretty darn good.

  97. 97.

    Ohio Mom

    @satby: VISTA is how I ended up in Cincinnati. It was a wonderful experience for me, really shaped me in so many ways.

    I like to think I accomished at least a little good — I did start a program that my sponsoring nonprofit continued, at least until it lost its main funding line and ceased to be. That was a number of years after my hitch was over; I watched it from afar/across town.

    But I am so disheartened this week by everything going on in my country that I can only shrug at this story.

  98. 98.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Mnemosyne: Are they prone to accidents? My wife is very anti-pressure-cooker because of various tales of explosions and other disasters.

  99. 99.

    Steeplejack

    So this just happened. In a tiny moment of productivity, I went through a stack of old lotto tickets beside the computer, throwing away the ones older than six months (do not want to discover that I won some large amount that I can no longer claim!) and checking the numbers on the others. Boom! Powerball ticket from November 22: $100.

    I am having a hard time believing it. I very rarely get a winning ticket, and I can’t remember when I ever won more than $3 or $4. Go figure. Suspending belief until I get it checked at the store.

    Think I will celebrate with a margarita. Just hope I am not peaking too early in the year.

    (Note: I do check my ticket if someone wins the whole enchilada, but I have a bad habit of not checking otherwise. Let this be a lesson!)

  101. 101.

    Chip Daniels

    Lets replace “racist” with “pedophile”;
    Shaming pedophiles is just name-calling

    Always harping on how bad pedophilia is, is counterproductive and forces them to rape children in defiance.

    The economic anxiety underlying why adult men molest children.

    Dr. Charles Schmurray explains why the concept of age of consent is ambiguous and debatable.

    Man-boy love is the new black, and pedos are the real victims.

  102. 102.

    Mnemosyne

    @FlipYrWhig:

    I don’t think so? I’m still trying to talk G into letting me replace our crockpot with one. He has the not unreasonable point that I have a bad habit of buying shiny new kitchen equipment and then not using it.

  103. 103.

    WaterGirl

    @Ohio Mom: Ohio Mom, just checking to see if you saw my comment in Tuesday morning’s On the Road thread. My friend had asked me to pas on his email reply to all your information. If you didn’t see it, I can post it again in this thread. Let me know? thanks

  105. 105.

    Ohio Mom

    @WaterGirl: post it again because I did not see it.
    What specifically did he wasn’t to know (I don’t remember too much of what I wrote)

  107. 107.

    J R in WV

    @Gelfling 545:

    Well, Gelfling, at least he had to resign. That’s a long line of variously despicable comments, which we can be grateful were nailed down and impossible for him to wriggle out of. He quit instantly also too.

    Thanks for your service!

  108. 108.

    WaterGirl

    @Ohio Mom: Here it is:

    Thanks for sending Ohio Mom’s e-mails. There was some new info that we didn’t know about (like the super noninvasive but still experimental method). Also it’s encouraging to hear from someone who has been through it. Let her know that we greatly appreciate her insights, advice, and being able to read about her experiences.

  109. 109.

    Steeplejack

    @MomSense:

    Well, as a wise person once told me, you cain’t win if you ain’t in!

    I get a ticket when I gas up the car and occasionally at the grocery if the customer service desk is not busy. And of course my buying frequency goes up as the jackpot goes into the stratosphere. But I never get more than one ticket per drawing. If lightning is going to strike, it doesn’t need more than one rod to aim at.

  110. 110.

    Roger Moore

    @FlipYrWhig:

    Are they prone to accidents?

    No. One of the big selling points is that they have a whole bunch of safety features built in. The biggest thing is that they can measure the pressure inside the cooker and adjust the thermostat to keep it right where it’s supposed to be. It’s great, because you don’t have to constantly tend the thing to keep the pressure in the right range without boiling off all your liquid. One of the first things I did involved cooking something for 3 hours, which I never would have thought of doing with a stovetop pressure cooker.

  112. 112.

    Shana

    @NotMax: The only reason I’d get an Instant Pot is in order to get rid of my rice cooker, pressure cooker and two crock pots. I have absolutely nothing against the idea of the Instant Pot, just already have pots/appliances that do all those things. Probably when Hubby retires and we downsize.

  117. 117.

    Ohio Mom

    @WaterGirl: Oh thanks! Glad to know I was helpful.

    But I should also add that many other Balloon Juicers were helpful to me during the thick of it. I heard a number of stories about various family members who had gone through valve replacement both recently and long ago, all successfully — even the ones who had had big bumps in their recovery.

    I must admit that I might have left out the part about a quarter to a third of new valve recipients having episodes of heart fibulations and fluttering — that is, the heart’s rhythm gets out of whack. It is one of those bumps the nurses monitor for.

    When Ohio Dad’s rhythm went off, first they tried medications; when that wasn’t having a strong enough effect, they wheeled him downstairs to the heart inversion clinic. “Inversion” means they use the paddles and shock you (like on ER dramas) — they do knock you out first.

    One shock was all it took and he immediately felt better (the fibs and flutters made him feel all around yucky).

    We were surprised to find out the inversion clinic serves a lot of people who come in just to be paddled, and then go right home. Reminding us that there are many medical conditions we have never heard of and just as soon never find out about.

    Next Monday Ohio Dad starts back to work halftime. I’m going to miss having him around all day.

  118. 118.

    satby

    @NotMax: @NotMax: I think I use it a couple of times a week, mostly for soups or meals I otherwise would have done in a slow cooker. I have the model that makes yogurt, so I want to make that when I get back from my trip.
    Which lets me convert my slow cooker to another soap pot. Win-win.

  120. 120.

    satby

    @FlipYrWhig: @Mnemosyne: @Roger Moore: Roger is right, the Instant Pot is loaded with safety features, starting with two pressure release valves and a lid that locks down better than any stove top version. It really is practically “set and forget”, it will even keep the food safely warm for hours after.

    I love kitchen gadgets, so I have too many betwen cooking and soap making, but with this and my Anova for sous vide I barely use my stove at all. Edited because Kindle is going nuts with word substitutes.

  121. 121.

    NorthLeft12

    @encephalopath: Agreed. Mr. Christie does not need or deserve any kind of personal protection. He is now a regular member of society and should get used to being treated like worthless cattle……just like the rest of us.

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