Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

The US Supreme Court is on the ballot in november.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

…and a burning sense of injustice to juice the soul.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Republicans in disarray!

Republican also-rans: four mules fighting over a turnip.

Nikki Haley, who can’t acknowledge ‘slavery’, is a pathetic shill.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

This fight is for everything.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

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Archives for February 2018

Happy Nice Thots Open Thread: Guess Who Won’t Be Going to Nerd Prom *This* Year, Either

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After all, as reported in Fire & Fury, Trump’s not “funny, in that humorous kind of way” — and we know he doesn’t enter any contest where he’s not guaranteed a win…

…“Our dinner honors the First Amendment and strong, independent journalism. [Wolf’s] embrace of these values and her truth-to-power style make her a great friend to the WHCA,” said Margaret Talev, president of the WHCA, in a statement. “Her Pennsylvania roots, stints on Wall Street and in science and self-made, feminist edge make her the right voice now.”

“This is true news,” Wolf tweeted in response to social media posts about her newest gig.

It’s the second year in a row that the dinner — long a venue for A-list comics with established brands such as Bob Hope, Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel — has turned to entertainers still on the cusp of fame…

Like last year’s host Hasan Minhaj, Wolf is a presence on “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.” She also released an HBO stand-up special, “Nice Lady,” in December and, just earlier this month, signed on to host a late-night show on streaming giant Netflix. She helped write jokes for Chris Rock’s 2016 Oscars gig and performed on HBO’s “Night of Too Many Stars” last year.

Headlining the dinner has always been a challenge for comics, who have to muscle through a monologue in front of a notoriously tough crowd, but it may be even more so with President Trump in the White House. The proliferation of late-night comedy shows and the dizzying pace of the news cycle means comics doing topical humor have to be able to quickly write timely material, as well as jokes that stand out in a crowded field of professional joke-tellers on TV and amateurs on social media.

The Trump administration is familiar comedic fodder for Wolf, especially during her “Daily Show” appearances. “I realized it’s easier to become president than it is to become Miss America,” she said on a September 2017 episode about the pageant’s regulations. “You know what the qualifications are for president? Thirty-five and born here. That’s not qualifications! That’s the search terms of a sad lady on a Match.com profile.”…

************

Apart from nitpicking this choice, what’s on the agenda for the weekend?

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Another CPAC Open Thread: There Is No Bottom, Only An Abyss

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Look, I try not to overwhelm y’all with the far-fringe ‘Wanna See Me Eat A Bug?’ performers like Dinesh D’Souza, Charlie Kirk, and Gary ‘What Is Aleppo?’ Johnson. But in the decade or so since I first discovered CPAC (through Dave Weigel’s then-hilarious reports), it’s become increasingly clear that this year’s rabid hate-monger at CPAC is next year’s high-paid mainstream media figure — or even presidential candidate. It’s like screening for skin cancer; you don’t have to admire those weird scaly lumps and unhealing scabs, but you need to know about them.

Dan Dale, continuing his yeoman work for Toronto’s The Star:

Early in U.S. President Donald Trump’s speech Friday to the Conservative Political Action Conference, he paused to ask the audience a question.

His prepared text, he said, was “a little boring.” Would they mind if he went “off script a little bit”?

In truth, he had not been very on-script even before that. What followed the crowd’s endorsement, though, was the kind of rambling, inflammatory, oft-inaccurate, and captivating discursion he performed at his 2016 campaign rallies…

It is impossible to do the speech justice by summarizing a few key points. Here is a minute-by-minute account of what happened:

10:17 a.m. — Trump notes that he once faced skepticism about his conservative credentials. “I think now we’ve proved that I’m a conservative, right?”

The audience applauds heartily.

10:18 — Trump notices his image on a big screen to the left of the stage. He gives himself a compliment.

“By the way, what a nice picture that is. Look at that. I’d love to watch that guy speak.”

People laugh. Then he turns around and pats his hair. Then he does some rare self-deprecation.

“That’s a — I try like hell to hide that bald spot, folks. I work hard at it. It doesn’t look bad. Hey, we’re hanging in.”…

10:24 — Trump reiterates his theory of midterm elections: happy supporters of the president are less motivated to vote, “so you end up not doing that well because the other side is going — they’re crazed.” He adds that his opponents are “crazed anyway, these people.” He tells his supporters, “Don’t be complacent.”

10:28 — Trump says “somebody got on television recently” and said Trump “may be the only person that actually fulfilled more promises than he made.”

He was the one who said this on television recently.

10:29 — Trump says, “We have a very crooked media. We had a crooked candidate, too, by the way.” He is, of course, referring to Clinton, whom he beat 15 months prior.

A group of students starts a “lock her up” chant.

Trump continues: “Boy, have they committed a lot of atrocities when you look.”

He does not say who “they” are.

10:30 — Trump mocks Sen. John McCain, who is home dealing with brain cancer, for his vote against the repeal of Obamacare.

“Except for one senator, who came into a room at 3 o’clock in the morning and went like that” — he mimicked McCain’s thumbs-down gesture — “we would have had health-care, too.”

The crowd boos the party icon. Trump continues the mockery.

“I don’t want to be controversial, so I won’t use his name,” he says. “OK?” …

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Late Evening Cute Doggy And Kitty Videos Open Thread!!!!!

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The cuteness, it burns!

And courtesy of commenter MaryG:

Open thread!

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NRA Open Thread: Is It Worse to Be A Blood-Hungry True Believer, or Just A Grifter Riling Up the True Believers for the Money?

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Much applause from the fellow-grifter seats (remember Erickson’s ‘send Olympia Snowe bags of rock salt, but do it through my Amazon link cuz I need the commission’ days of yore?)…

Turns out, her boss had already shown her the way…

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Various Things

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A couple of quick things:

1.) Met with the doctor briefly today. I was supposed to have an appt. on Monday, but the ultrasound results came back and apparently I have tiny gallstones in my pancreas, so I need to get an MRI. No point going on Monday, and I was in town, so I swung by and we are in the process of getting an MRI scheduled. I have no idea what this means and I no longer google or webmd medical issues for my own sanity, so I am just going to keep on doing what I am doing, which is a low fat diet, no high fat dairy, lots of vegetables, and I have basically eliminated carbs from my diet. No bread or pasta, which I never ate much of anyway, and I don’t like rice anyway other than an occasional risotto (I like wild grain rice, but that’s a grain and not a rice), so really the only thing I am missing is ice cream and a bowl of cereal every now and then.

The good thing for me is that I like almost every type of food with the exception of liver and onions, stuffed peppers, and eggplant in any form other than baba ghanouj, so the change in diet has been no problem. I just eat smaller meals. Breakfast- a poached egg on a slice of whole wheat, some yogurt with blueberries, and some grapefruit. Snack- some carrots or broccoli. Lunch: a little cottage cheese, half an apple, a tin of kippered snacks. Snack, half an apple with some almond butter. Dinner- tonight it will be halibut steak, artichoke salad, steamed broccoli, and I think maybe some tomatoes, basil, and mozz. Late night snack, popcorn or maybe some yogurt with blueberries. The only thing is it requires planning ahead, but ehh, I’m old and have no social life so wtf is time anyway?

2.) While in town, I saw lots of teachers striking. They entire state school system is shut down, and they are all gathered near their schools with signs and what not, and I honk up a storm. Their pay is 48th or 49th in the nation, and it’s a god damned joke they haven’t been given a significant raise while frackers are basically making billions in the state and not paying their share in taxes. This is the first time they have gone on strike since 1990, and it just feels like everyone is just sick of the bullshit on every front and people are finally, slowly, starting to stand up to the rich and powerful.

3.) I got my first calendar back from a faulty address today. Congratulations Mary G., you are our lucky winner. If you have not received your calendar by now, please email [email protected]

That’s it for now.

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Russiagate Open Thread: Hey, Remember That Jared Kid?…

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Yet another shoe from the Trump Crime Cartel millipede…

… The Feb. 9 phone call from Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein to White House Counsel Donald McGahn came amid growing public scrutiny of a number of administration officials without final security clearances. Most prominent among them is Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law, who has had access to some of the nation’s most sensitive material for the last year while waiting for his background investigation to be completed.

A week after the call from Rosenstein, White House Chief of Staff John F. Kelly announced that staffers whose clearances have not been finalized will no longer be able to view top-secret information — meaning that Kushner could stand to lose his status as early as Friday…

In his phone conversation with McGahn, Rosenstein intended to give an update on the status of Kushner’s background investigation. He did not specify the source of the information that officials were examining, the three people said.

Justice Department officials said Rosenstein did not provide any details to the White House about the matters that need to be investigated relating to Kushner.

“The Deputy Attorney General has not referenced to the White House any specific concerns relating to this individual’s security clearance process,” spokeswoman Sarah Isgur Flores said in a statement…

There are conflicting accounts about whether Rosenstein discussed with McGahn the significance of the information and its possible impact on Kushner’s clearance. Two people said the deputy attorney general told McGahn the Justice Department had obtained important new information, suggesting it could be an obstacle to his clearance process. One other said Rosenstein did not discuss the nature of the ongoing investigation.

Bob Bauer, who served as White House counsel in the Obama administration, said administration officials should view Rosenstein’s alert as a strong reason to revoke Kushner’s interim top-secret access…

Ordinarily, security clearance experts said, the failure to completely disclose all contacts would jeopardize an applicant’s chances of obtaining final clearance.

In addition, Kushner’s actions during the transition have been referenced in the guilty plea of former Trump national security adviser Michael Flynn, who admitted he lied to the FBI about contacts with then-Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak. Prosecutors said Flynn was acting in consultation with a senior Trump transition official, whom people familiar with the matter have identified as Kushner…

“That sounds bad. Is that bad, Dad?”

At CPAC, this very morning:

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IANAL: Hold my beer edition

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I am not a lawyer but is this as dumb as trying to ford the Amazon during flood season with an open wound or dumber than that?

Lawyers — what is the dumbest thing that you can reveal without breaking confidentiality/ethics rules that a client has ever done against your advice?

Open thread

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