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Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

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Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

John Fetterman: Too Manly for Pennsylvania.  Paid for by the Oz for Senator campaign.

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The revolution will be supervised.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

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No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

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Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

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You are here: Home / Politics / domestic terrorists / Luzers After Dark Open Thread: TradWorker Heartland Family Values

Luzers After Dark Open Thread: TradWorker Heartland Family Values

by Anne Laurie|  March 14, 201811:10 pm| 144 Comments

This post is in: domestic terrorists, Open Threads, Are these Nazis Walter?, Assholes, Clown Shoes, Schadenfreude

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Holy shit — neo-Nazi leader Matthew Heimbach had an affair with his chief spokesman Matt Parrott's wife. Parrott is leaving the movement, possibly in shambles, saying:

“SPLC has won. Matt Parrott is out of the game. Y’all have a nice life.” https://t.co/n0gWbxELB6

— Jack Smith IV (@JackSmithIV) March 14, 2018

Behold, the Master Race. https://t.co/xZLsW9tdws

— Mike Stuchbery ???? (@MikeStuchbery_) March 14, 2018


.
Life’s rich tapestry…

Matthew Heimbach, the leader of the Traditionalist Worker Party, is free on bond after being charged with battery in southern Indiana after a bizarre sequence of events involving Heimbach having an affair with his chief spokesman’s wife.

Police in Paoli, Indiana, said Heimbach attacked his wife and TWP spokesman Matt Parrott early Tuesday morning after the two confronted him about the affair with Parrott’s wife.

After the arrest, Parrott announced he was walking away from the group…

Heimbach, 26, posted $1,000 bond and was released Tuesday. He did not answer calls to his cellphone and did not return questions sent by text message from the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The strange incident began just after 1 a.m. Tuesday, when Matt Parrott, 36, called police from a Walmart near his home. He fled to the Walmart with his step-daughter after a violent confrontation with Heimbach.

The step-daughter told police that Heimbach and Parrott’s wife had been having an affair for three months. Heimbach and Parrott’s wife said the fling had ended.

The step-daughter and Parrott’s wife tried to set up Heimbach to see if he would continue the affair after saying it was over, police said in a report.

During the set up at Parrott’s Paoli trailer home, Matthew Parrott and his step-daughter waited outside, standing on a box and watching through a window, police said.

A confrontation ensued between Heimbach and Matt Parrott…

In the report, all four people involved in the incident recorded their occupations as “White Nationalist.”…

The Very Serious True Progressives tell me it’s kreeewell and “counterproductive” to mock these folk, who will now be forced to shun the Democrat Party and cast their precious, precious White Working Class votes to “heighten the contradictions”, but srsly…

Barely a week after brawling with antifascists outside a Richard Spencer speaking event at Michigan State University, Matthew Heimbach, chairman of the neo-Nazi Traditionalist Worker Party, has been charged with domestic battery…

The charges come as Heimbach is engaged in a power struggle with Andrew Anglin, founder of the Daily Stormer, over the strategy and direction of the increasingly fractured alt right. Following Heimbach’s arrest, his father-in-law and TWP co-founder Matt Parrott told the Southern Poverty Law Center that he was stepping away from the organization. “I’m done. I’m out,” Parrott said. “SPLC has won. Matt Parrott is out of the game. Y’all have a nice life.”…

The Traditionalist Worker Party and its allies are to be found in the thick of the fighting wherever militant antifascists and antiracists clash with the far right, the skirmishes in Michigan last week being just the most recent example and the rally in Charlottesville in August being the most deadly…

… these are the people for whom the phrase “rooting for injuries” was invented.

He's burning the records on his way out. pic.twitter.com/G2Cy2AhMMC

— Brutalist ?? McDonalds (@McBrutalist) March 14, 2018

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Reader Interactions

144Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    March 14, 2018 at 11:14 pm

    Christ, what an asshole!

    Now off to actually read the post…

  2. 2.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 14, 2018 at 11:16 pm

    recorded their occupations as “White Nationalist.”

    Uh. Wow.

    He’s burning the records on his way out.

    These people are never as smart or capable as they think they are…

  3. 3.

    Mnemosyne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    Imma let you finish, but I got my scores back from the writing contest I entered and I was solidly in the top quartile — 15th out of 60 entries. Not too shabby for a first try, and I got back three scoresheets and two commented sets of my manuscript, which I am now going to go off and read since I’ve fortified myself with some hard cider. Excelsior!

  4. 4.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 14, 2018 at 11:17 pm

    It all happened in a Indiana trailer park.

  5. 5.

    JR

    March 14, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    Following Heimbach’s arrest, his father-in-law and TWP co-founder Matt Parrott told the Southern Poverty Law Center that he was stepping away from the organization.

    This quote confuses me.

    Does this mean the 38 year old Matt Parrott is the 26 year old Heimbach’s father in law? That would mean that Heimbach is having an affair with his mother in law, wouldn’t it? I guess it’s not fully Oedipal but it’s something weird.

    God these fuckers are strange.

  6. 6.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 14, 2018 at 11:18 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Of course it did.

  7. 7.

    Feebog

    March 14, 2018 at 11:19 pm

    And they all live in a trailer park in in Southern Indiana. The jokes, they write themselves.

  8. 8.

    NotMax

    March 14, 2018 at 11:19 pm

    Seems like more than a week ago that read about all this but it was much less. Trumpcated time.

  9. 9.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 14, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Not bad! Congrats!

  10. 10.

    The Pale Scot

    March 14, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    his father-in-law and TWP co-founder Matt Parrott

    Wait, He was schtupping his MiL??!

  11. 11.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 14, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    If you are intent on destroying the info systems, why do you put up a Tweet that says it will be done in a few hours? Why not wipe them and *then* put up the Tweet, saying they have been destroyed.

  12. 12.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 14, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    @The Pale Scot: I hear there are videos about that sort of thing.

  13. 13.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    @Mnemosyne: If you are “bow” going to do something, you may want to leave it for tomorrow. Celebrate the good result tonight and dig in tomorrow.

  14. 14.

    Jerzy Russian

    March 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    OK, after having read the post: Christ, what an asshole!

  15. 15.

    dexwood

    March 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Is this a plot for the new Roseanne Barr show?

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    March 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Some very fine people, these white nationalists.

  17. 17.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Alex Pappas @ AlexPappas
    Fox News’ johnrobertsFox reports possible Trump admin changes: national sec adviser McMaster replaced by Bolton; VA’s Shulkin replaces by Rick Perry; Ray Washburne to Energy; COS Kelly replaced by Mulvaney

    I don’t know what a Ray Washburn is, but it can’t be good. And this doesn’t even have the rumor about Pruitt being moved to Justice under the Vacancies Act.

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    March 14, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    Parrott is a positively Dickensian name for a press secretary.

    Just sayin’.

  19. 19.

    madmommy

    March 14, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    So, the SPLC forced one Nazi to boink the wife of another Nazi who happened to be his mother-in-law? The powers of the left are strange and mysterious, indeed.

  20. 20.

    Yutsano

    March 14, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    Speaking of economic anxiety…apparently it runs deep in the Dylann Roof clan. Your Master Race at work people.

  21. 21.

    Mnemosyne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    @The Pale Scot:

    Wait, He was schtupping his MiL??!

    Yes. Yes, he was.

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I’m just going to read the notes, not try and address them in the manuscript. I did manage to fix the typo.

  22. 22.

    Omnes Omnibus

    March 14, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    @Yutsano: The mangoes cannot be tasty enough.

  23. 23.

    Jerrt

    March 14, 2018 at 11:26 pm

    There were good people on both sides – BOTH sides – of this fussin’ and a-feudin’.

    (And: Yes, he was having an affair with his MiL. Trad values.)

  24. 24.

    Calouste

    March 14, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    @NotMax: Not just that, his name is pronounced as “Mad Parrot”. Very appropriate for the spokesman of a white nationalist party.

  25. 25.

    Jay

    March 14, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    Somebody needs to ask Brooks et al, Stat!,

    If Nazi’s can punch Nazi’s, why can’t we punch Nazi’s?

    And when will the FtFNYT run a Op-Ed on how instead of “confronting” Societal “microagressions” like POC’s existence, Nazi’s should listen to (Pick your flavours of Choice*) them instead?

    *See what I did there?

    Captain America says ABPN, Always Be Punching Nazi’s,

    ( they can’t do it all on their own).

  26. 26.

    Mnemosyne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Thanks! Obviously, being a finalist would have been even better, but I feel pretty good about this result my first time out. Lowest score out of 100 possible points was 76 — other two were 86 and 93.

    ETA: Most common note so far — I overcorrected my info dump in the first draft and now I’m being too coy.

  27. 27.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 14, 2018 at 11:29 pm

    Sounds like there was a whole lot economic anxiety at the ol’ trailer park.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    March 14, 2018 at 11:30 pm

    Northern heights.

    If cold weather and a lack of sunlight in winter are enough to get you down, chances are you’re not Finnish.

    The World Happiness Report published Wednesday put Finland at the top among 156 countries ranked by happiness levels, based on factors such as life expectancy, social support and corruption.
    [snip]
    John Helliwell, a co-editor of the World Happiness Report and professor emeritus of economics at the University of British Columbia, noted that all the countries in the Top 10 scored highest both in overall happiness and regarding the happiness of immigrants. He said a society’s happiness seems contagious.
    [snip]
    …The United States fell to 18th place from 14th last year. Source

  29. 29.

    Jager

    March 14, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    Years ago I had some stuff done to my motorcycle by a biker nick-named “Jabba the Wrench” ( great bike mechanic,btw), I ran into him one night and got stupid and ended up at a party at his trailer, a double wide with a redwood deck, he had Nazi flags hanging on the walls inside. I asked him why he had the flags, since he was a pretty mellow guy, Jabba said, “I dunno a friend of mine said they were cool, so i put em up.” I asked him if he knew what the stood for, His answer, “something to do with the war or something like that..” Last I heard Jabba met a decent woman and owns his own shop.

  30. 30.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 14, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I don’t know what a Ray Washburn is, but it can’t be good.

    Really just sounds like somebody you don’t want at Energy, doesn’t it?

    ETA ugh he’s from the Bond villain reject pile

    Ray Willets Washburne is an American businessman, political fundraiser, and government official who currently serves as President and CEO of the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.

  31. 31.

    Mnemosyne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    G just pointed out that the two higher scores are from published authors, so that’s a nice boost.

  32. 32.

    debbie

    March 14, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    It’s really sickening how RWNJs of all stripes are painting the SPLC as a hate group.

  33. 33.

    hellslittlestangel

    March 14, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    Grotesque incestuous nazis in a trailer park. How is this not the setting for a popular sitcom?

  34. 34.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 14, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    In fundraising speech, Trump says he made up trade claims in meeting with Justin Trudeau
    President Trump boasted in a fundraising speech Wednesday that he made up facts in a meeting with the leader of a top U.S ally, saying he insisted to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that the United States runs a trade deficit with its neighbor to the north without knowing whether or not that was the case.

    of course it gets worse

    He also seemed to threaten to pull U.S. troops stationed in South Korea if he didn’t get what he wanted on trade with Seoul, an ally. He said the country had gotten rich but United States politicians never negotiated better deals. “We have a very big trade deficit with them, and we protect them,” Trump said. “We lose money on trade, and we lose money on the military. We have right now 32,000 soldiers between North and South Korea. Let’s see what happens.”

    Myself, I would’ve led with that part. I wonder how this is going over in Seoul, and Pyongyang.
    ETA: looks like all this was in the same MO fundraising speech where he claimed Conor Lamb was a trump supporter, a trump wannabe.

  35. 35.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    @The Pale Scot:

    Wait, He was schtupping his MiL??!

    “Dear Penthouse –
    I used to think all your letters were fakes … until it happened to ME! Last week, my hot, sexy mother-in-law …”
    .
    “And then, my father-in-law found out”
    .
    “Sincerely,
    Matt Homecreek (not my real name)”

  36. 36.

    p.a.

    March 14, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Reminds me of this (roughly remembered paraphrase) from a history of the Indiana Klan in the 1920’s, when they controlled state gvt: The Indiana Klan drowned in a river of slime.

  37. 37.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    @debbie:

    It’s really sickening how RWNJs of all stripes are painting the SPLC as a hate group.

    As you WELL KNOW: it’s the people pointing out racism and racists who are the REAL racists.

  38. 38.

    hellslittlestangel

    March 14, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    @NotMax: That hellhole California is really dragging our country down.

  39. 39.

    Steve in the ATL

    March 14, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    @NotMax: yeah but we scored higher on the “distance from Russia” metric! Even if Russia does control our government.

  40. 40.

    Ken

    March 14, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Yes, that would be the sensible thing to do. However there are subtle hints in the article that none of the people involved have that much sense. Indeed, it sounds like they get soaked every time it rains.

  41. 41.

    efgoldman

    March 14, 2018 at 11:38 pm

    @debbie:

    RWNJs of all stripes are painting the SPLC as a hate group.

    Pro

    jec

    tion

    always

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    March 14, 2018 at 11:38 pm

    Another strand in the web.

    A lawyer at the Trump Organization was involved in the legal efforts to try and stop adult film star Stormy Daniels from speaking out about an alleged affair with President Trump.

    Jill A. Martin, an attorney for the Trump Organization, is listed as a counsel in legal documents for an arbitration demand by a company created by Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen, the Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday. Source

  43. 43.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    Fuck NBC for interviewing Susan fucking Sarandon after the 1st period of the Rangers-Penguins game earlier. They panned to her at least a dozen times throughout the game as well. I can’t unsee that shit. Boooooooo!

  44. 44.

    burnspbesq

    March 14, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    Meanwhile, a bill has been introduced in the California Assembly to deny a wide variety of tax incentives to companies that work on the border wall.

    When we Californians set out to shiv a Preznit, we do it with style.

  45. 45.

    Anne Laurie

    March 14, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    It all happened in a Indiana trailer park.

    … and the parking lot of the local WalMart, of course!

    In case anyone wondered where Gov. Mike Pence found his voters: Now you know.

    P.S. Imagine what Doghouse Riley would’ve said about these Very Fine People, *sigh*

  46. 46.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et Al.)

    March 14, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    I think we can all agree that these are decent, hard working, simple folk, the kind of people who identify viscerally with Donald Tяump, and that they have legitimate grievances, and that speaking about them with anything other than the deepest respect only shows how we liberals are the true fascists.

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    For some reason, none of the other Open Threads today has seemed like the right place to share this, but I just want to say to my dear BJ friends and fellow jackals that today I celebrated the 25th anniversary of smoking my last cigarette.

    It’s a complicated story, involving the Blizzard of the Century, a heart attack, and an Awareness That Passeth All Understanding — but for the moment I am happy to commemorate the occasion, which I celebrate the way an alcoholic notes his first AA meeting or a lover remembers her first date.

    Anyhow, a quarter-century off the fucking demon tobacco. I’m pretty happy about that.

    Now imma go back and read the thread :-)

  48. 48.

    Czanne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    @JR@The Pale Scot @madmommy : Yep. His wife’s mother. Which most of the major media who covered this either skipped, downplayed or buried. (WeHuntedTheMammoth did not. They led with it, because the glee, it burns.) It’s one of those stories that’s just fractal schadenfreude.

    @Mnemosyne: Congratulations! Notes are good things, no matter what. What works for me, and might work for you: allow yourself to lock down the ms you submitted (I lock it with a password, so I can’t unintentionally fuck it up), but open a copy and rename the copy with experiment in the name. Incorporate the notes in that copy, and see if it makes the story stronger. Worst case? You did a good bit of writing exercise and learned something. Best case? You get a better story with a better chance of sale.

    One of my writing mentors tells every student that there are no wasted words. Some are fuel for the edit fires because if you don’t have enough to cut, you’ll break something vital; some cuts or experiments will amuse a grad student in 200 years because we all have to exercise; some are training wheels for wobbly story. Especially now, because making a copy no longer requires a trek to Kinko’s, carbon paper, or retyping. Use the tech.

  49. 49.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Congratulations. It is a very difficult habit to overcome.

  50. 50.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    “I’m done. I’m out,” Parrott said. “SPLC has won. Matt Parrott is out of the game. Y’all have a nice life.”…

    Oh, nut up and shut up, you fucking snowflake, and stop blaming everyone else for your problems.

  51. 51.

    Steve in the ATL

    March 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    @Old Dan and Little Anne: if the Rangers lose, she boos them and yells “Bernie would have won!”, then moves to France?

  52. 52.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

    I don’t watch trump’s Hates, and they seem to contain multitudes of crazy, but this one sounds like he hit some new records

    He accused Japan of using gimmicks to deny U.S. auto companies access to their consumers, said South Korea was taking advantage of outdated trade rules even though its economy was strong, and said China had single-handedly rebuilt itself on the back of its trade surplus with the United States.
    “It’s the bowling ball test. They take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air and drop it on the hood of the car,” Trump said of Japan. “If the hood dents, the car doesn’t qualify. It’s horrible,” he said. It was unclear what he was talking about.

    just tonight Maddow did a story on how aggressive Abe has been in sucking up to trump, and the totally unrelated I’m sure real estate transaction between the Kushner family and a company that is 30% owned by the Japanese gov’t, four months after trump and Jarvanka met Abe in trump tower

  53. 53.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 14, 2018 at 11:45 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: I’m sorry Steve but the former half-term Governor of Alaska informed me that she could see Russia from her house; now that’s close.

  54. 54.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et Al.):

    I think we can all agree that these are decent, hard working, simple folk,

    Are they the common clay of the New West?

  55. 55.

    Yarrow

    March 14, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Congratulations! That’s great to get such positive feedback and notes you can use as well.

  56. 56.

    Hungry Joe

    March 14, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    It makes a fellow proud to be a Hoosier. (I was born in southern Indiana and lived there till I was 10. San Diego is … different.)

  57. 57.

    Steve in the ATL

    March 14, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: translation: “I haven’t gotten laid in 25 years!”

    J/k—congrats on a very important milestone. May you live long enough to see Gwinnett County become not a fucking dump. J/k—Neither of us will live that long!

  58. 58.

    Fair Economist

    March 14, 2018 at 11:47 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Congratulations on 25 years away from the Demon Weed!

    My aunt could never get away and it killed her.

  59. 59.

    lgerard

    March 14, 2018 at 11:48 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I don’t know what a Ray Washburn is

    He was the CEO of a restaurant chain neither one of us has ever heard of…..perfectly qualified to follow in the footsteps of Steven Chu and Earnest Moniz.

  60. 60.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:48 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: She knows as much about hockey as politics. Nothing.

  61. 61.

    cthulhu

    March 14, 2018 at 11:48 pm

    So can someone explain the “air gap” comment. I know air gaps regarding basic electrical circuits but is he just saying that he took the records “offline” because that is a weird way to state that.

  62. 62.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 14, 2018 at 11:49 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: November 14, 1994 for me. Third time was the charm. So far. I’ve been an ex-smoker longer than I was a smoker. Or a non-smoker.
    Sometimes, most times, I smell cigarette smoke and I find it disgusting. Sometimes it makes me really, really wanna fire one up.

  63. 63.

    Gin & Tonic

    March 14, 2018 at 11:50 pm

    @cthulhu: It’s not an uncommon way of saying your systems are not physically or logically connected to any outside systems.

  64. 64.

    gilmore

    March 14, 2018 at 11:51 pm

    Ryan Bundy for Nevada governor

  65. 65.

    efgoldman

    March 14, 2018 at 11:51 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    So far. I’ve been an ex-smoker longer than I was a smoker.

    Me too. Quit early 1970s

  66. 66.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Anyhow, a quarter-century off the fucking demon tobacco. I’m pretty happy about that.

    As well you should be, and as we are as well.

    I knew one person who quit right after the initial Surgeon General report; it probably added 25 years to his life. (He had a heart attack about 10 years after quitting; had he still been smoking, he probably would not have survived.)

    So I am glad you are here to tell us about it, young lady.

  67. 67.

    JR

    March 14, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    Alas, a tragedy written by none other than Derpocles.

  68. 68.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 14, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Mnem, I think that’s way more than respectable. Congratulations on a fine solid showing this time, and all best for an even higher ranking on the next excursion. I am very much looking forward to reading the final product!

  69. 69.

    NotMax

    March 14, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    Yes, Brunhilde, there is a gas chamber (WaPo link). Sooner State wants to march forward into the past.

    Oklahoma says it will begin using nitrogen for all executions in an unprecedented move

  70. 70.

    Matt McIrvin

    March 14, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    @Old Dan and Little Anne: Friends of mine are passing around a tweet accusing everyone who gets upset about Sarandon while Democrats are voting to gut Dodd-Frank of being a “twitter shitlib”. So I guess I can’t care about it.

  71. 71.

    SFAW

    March 14, 2018 at 11:55 pm

    @Old Dan and Little Anne:

    She knows as much about hockey as politics. Nothing.

    No, she knows a lot. It’s just that her “knowledge’ is completely wrong.

  72. 72.

    Immanentize

    March 14, 2018 at 11:59 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Good on you! Very hard to kick that habit. You deserve a pat on the back and a beverage of your choice.

  73. 73.

    divF

    March 15, 2018 at 12:00 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Your commemoration made me think of Italo Svevo’s Confessions of Zeno. Except you actually did smoke your last cigarette.

  74. 74.

    SFAW

    March 15, 2018 at 12:02 am

    Unrelated to Nazis:

    Apparently there will be some Aurora borealis activity tonight, possibly visible in Canadia, Michigan, Maine, Montana, NDAK, elsewhere.

  75. 75.

    jacy

    March 15, 2018 at 12:04 am

    Today my kid got accepted to LSU. Which is a kind of a big deal, because he kind of tanked when his dad fucked everything up so badly two weeks before he started high school. And We had gotten an email a few weeks ago saying he was on the bubble for admittance because of his grades. (His ACT scores were good — his grades were not.) So, YAY! It’s a huge weight off me, and I am currently enjoying a sampler from the New Belgium brewery and deciding which organ to sell to pay for college.

  76. 76.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:05 am

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Thank you. In the event it was super easy. (Heart attacks will do that for you — they concentrate the mind wonderfully.) But before I actually DID quit, I had tried again and again without success. I hate being around smokers, but have great compassion for them because I know how tough it is.

  77. 77.

    Old Dan and Little Anne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:05 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Nice. Congrats. 10 years cold turkey for me. Don’t miss it for a second. Just a few dreams where I take a few drags and wake up angry. Cheers.

  78. 78.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:06 am

    @SFAW

    Isn’t Canadia the capital of Normay?

    :)

  79. 79.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 15, 2018 at 12:06 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Woohoo! I hear ya, I used to smoke cigs.

    @NotMax:

    …The United States fell to 18th place from 14th last year.

    Reminds me of an Onion bit from Monday.

    A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report found that overdoses due to opioids such as [forbidden blog words], and heroin increased by 30 percent from July 2016 to September 2017, revealing a still worsening crisis. What do you think?
    […]
    “What the hell happened in late 2016 and early 2017 that made people turn to drugs?”

  80. 80.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:09 am

    @Steve in the ATL:

    translation: “I haven’t gotten laid in 25 years!”

    Hadn’t realized I was confessing my deepest, darkest secret, but it is what it is.

  81. 81.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:12 am

    @SiubhanDuinne

    Cosi ban tutte.

    ;)

  82. 82.

    B.B.A.

    March 15, 2018 at 12:16 am

    Where’s the Zyklon B when you need it?

    [To avoid confusion about what I mean by the above, I’m Jewish and I only wish upon them what they wish upon me.]

  83. 83.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    March 15, 2018 at 12:17 am

    Following Heimbach’s arrest, his father-in-law and TWP co-founder Matt Parrott [. . .].

    Wait, what? So Heimbach’s wife is Parrott’s daughter? And is that the stepdaughter mentioned in the story or another woman? This is way too fucked up.

    ETA: Which would mean that Heimbach was banging his wife’s mother? Is that right?

  84. 84.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:17 am

    Lost count of the flash flood warnings today. Rains of between 1 and 2 inches per hour in parts of eastern Maui, apparently, movin’ this way.

  85. 85.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:18 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    During waking hours, I have never once been interested in lighting up. Not a single physical craving, not the slightest inclination to want a cigarette with a cup of coffee or a drink or after a meal or (pace Steve in the NoneOfYourDamnBusiness) after thrilling moments. But for about ten years after I quit, I dreamt so regularly and vividly of smoking that I would wake up literally unable to figure out if I had somehow taken it up again.

  86. 86.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:19 am

    @Czanne:

    I’m just doing a quick read of them tonight, but most of the comments were things I kind of suspected but needed someone else to say. I already started doing a major re-write of chapter two even before I got these comments that will address the most enthusiastic judge’s biggest complaint.

    G keeps referring to the lowest-scoring judge as “the East German judge,” which may help explain how we’ve been together for almost 18 years. ?

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Thank you! It’s the same time period as Joyce’s books, but will have more sexytime. ?

    @Yarrow:

    The notes were very encouraging. My irrational fear was that it was going to be, “Delete this immediately and never attempt fiction again.” But I knew that was irrational.

  87. 87.

    SFAW

    March 15, 2018 at 12:21 am

    @NotMax:

    Isn’t Canadia the capital of Normay?

    On alternate Tuesdays.

  88. 88.

    Amir Khalid

    March 15, 2018 at 12:21 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Congratulations! I would like to quit smoking myself, but it would be difficult for me because I never started.

  89. 89.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:22 am

    @Mnemosyne

    Well, it could have been “Needs moar bodice.”

    ;)

  90. 90.

    TS

    March 15, 2018 at 12:23 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: 25 yrs is impressive – I’m almost at 12 years & some days I still crave a nicotine hit – I’ve never found anything as addictive.

  91. 91.

    West of the Rockies (been a while)

    March 15, 2018 at 12:23 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Congratulations, SD! That’s a Big F***ing Deal! Stay healthy.

  92. 92.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:23 am

    @jacy:

    Congratulations! I got into USC (the California one) on the strength of my ACT scores, lo, these many years ago.

  93. 93.

    SiubhanDuinne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:25 am

    Looks like just about every ex-smoker has a quitting story. Congratulations to everyone who’s been successful, hang in there for those who aren’t there yet, and many thanks to all for the congratulations.

    Off to bed now. Y’all sleep tight!

  94. 94.

    jonas

    March 15, 2018 at 12:25 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Ok, I think I got this. Back in the 80s (where Trump’s perceptions of the world generally lie) when people thought we were losing a trade war to Japan, there was this rumor — no idea if there was anything to it or not — that Japan would make up crazy safety or “quality” standards to keep US and other foreign products out of their markets. I think this “bowling ball test” thing belongs to that mythology — that they would drop a bowling ball (in Japan? Ok.) on a car hood and if it dented, they would deem it “unsafe” and thus not allowed to be sold.

  95. 95.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:27 am

    @NotMax:

    The East German judge took an immediate dislike to my heroine that colored the rest of her opinion of the excerpt. The other two judges seemed to like her just fine.

  96. 96.

    jonas

    March 15, 2018 at 12:29 am

    Who was it that said “Lord, grant me only that my enemies be ridiculous”?

  97. 97.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 15, 2018 at 12:33 am

    @Mnemosyne:

    G keeps referring to the lowest-scoring judge as “the East German judge,”

    I was thinking Russian judge…

  98. 98.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 15, 2018 at 12:35 am

    @jonas: Voltaire, wasn’t it?

  99. 99.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:36 am

    @jonas

    Or confusion with the Bowling Green Massacre.

    :)

  100. 100.

    jl

    March 15, 2018 at 12:40 am

    Mock them if you like, but remember that they themselves set a high bar for ridiculousness. Need high grade Onion level mockery to outdo what they do themselves.

    I spent some time during lunch figuring out what ornate mess Mr. Parrott got himself into, but I forget now and too much trouble to back and figure it out again. Life is short. It was grimly hilarious and disgusting, whatever it was.

  101. 101.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:43 am

    As there are here some fans of both pre-code Hollywood films and also of Barbara Stanwyck, will mention that TCM will be showing the almost farcical The Purchase Price on Thursday at 8:30 a.m. Eastern time.

  102. 102.

    jl

    March 15, 2018 at 12:43 am

    @NotMax: ” Isn’t Canadia the capital of Normay? ”
    I thought both were provinces of Nambia. Or Marine Core bases. Or something…

  103. 103.

    Mary G

    March 15, 2018 at 12:43 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: I quit in Oct. 1982 when the price went to $1 a pack. I vaguely thought that once I made more money I would take it up again, but I never did.

  104. 104.

    Amir Khalid

    March 15, 2018 at 12:44 am

    @jonas:
    I remember stories from that time of people beating up Asian-Americans and Toyotas.

  105. 105.

    Feebog

    March 15, 2018 at 12:45 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Dreams can haunt you for a long time. I have not carried mail for almost 40 years, but damned if I didn’t have a dream last night about trying to get those last two swings delivered before dark.

  106. 106.

    Jager

    March 15, 2018 at 12:47 am

    A guy I played hockey with since we were kids, always smoked. Only smoker on the team in high school, he went on to play D-1 college hockey, coached for years, played in adult leagues and reffed college hockey. Never stopped, his “one neat trick”? He smokes one in the morning with coffee and one at cocktail hour and one after dinner. 3 cigarettes a day. Never more, never less. As an ex-smoker myself I asked him how he does it. He told me, “those are the only cigs that taste good” If I think back on my smoking career, he’s right.

  107. 107.

    efgoldman

    March 15, 2018 at 12:50 am

    @jl:

    I thought both were provinces of Nambia. Or Marine Core bases. Or something…

    Down East towns in Maine, near Caribou

  108. 108.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 12:50 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    “East German” still sounds funnier, even if it is obsolete humor.

  109. 109.

    SWMBO

    March 15, 2018 at 12:50 am

    @hellslittlestangel: How can they compete with the White House and its shitstorms?

  110. 110.

    Ruckus

    March 15, 2018 at 12:51 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:
    Yea!
    I like good anniversaries, first sex, stopping smoking, second sex………

  111. 111.

    Millard Filmore

    March 15, 2018 at 12:53 am

    @jonas:

    Back in the 80s (where Trump’s perceptions of the world generally lie) when people thought we were losing a trade war to Japan …

    Was that the era when American car makers tried to sell car models in Japan with the steering wheel on the “wrong” side?

  112. 112.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 15, 2018 at 12:55 am

    @Jager: Huh, good point.

  113. 113.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 12:56 am

    @Mnemosyne

    “Needz moar zteroidz.”

  114. 114.

    ? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?

    March 15, 2018 at 12:59 am

    In the report, all four people involved in the incident recorded their occupations as “White Nationalist.”

    Is that what they’re calling welfare?

  115. 115.

    different-church-lady

    March 15, 2018 at 1:02 am

    Jeez, at least Hitler had the common decency to shoot himself when it all went to hell.

  116. 116.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 15, 2018 at 1:09 am

    @Millard Filmore: No, the problem was that the Japanese wanted the steering wheel on the wrong side.

  117. 117.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 1:15 am

    Ah, the joys of apartment living. The couple upstairs is having an argument that’s loud enough that I can hear it through the ceiling, but not clearly enough to follow what’s going on.

  118. 118.

    Mnemosyne

    March 15, 2018 at 1:16 am

    @different-church-lady:

    Eva Braun’s mother probably didn’t live in Berlin.

  119. 119.

    joel hanes

    March 15, 2018 at 1:22 am

    @Anne Laurie:

    Imagine what Doghouse Riley would’ve said about these Very Fine People

    *sigh*

    He might have explained that Hoosiers like these are the reason for the political careers of Mitch Daniels and Mike Pence.

  120. 120.

    sukabi

    March 15, 2018 at 1:23 am

    @Gin & Tonic: looking for a buyer?

  121. 121.

    Villago Delenda Est

    March 15, 2018 at 1:25 am

    The “Very Serious True Progressives” are, I think, sympathetic to white supremacism. They can all fuck off and die.

  122. 122.

    efgoldman

    March 15, 2018 at 1:26 am

    @different-church-lady:

    Hitler had the common decency to shoot himself

    Day late, Deutschmark short.

  123. 123.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    March 15, 2018 at 1:26 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Congratulations! That is a big milestone. Nicotine seems to be a very hard addiction to break.

  124. 124.

    smintheus

    March 15, 2018 at 1:26 am

    We have met the enemy and they is us.

  125. 125.

    NotMax

    March 15, 2018 at 1:26 am

    @Mnemosyne

    Mrs. Braun, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter.

    :)

  126. 126.

    Amir Khalid

    March 15, 2018 at 1:35 am

    @efgoldman:
    Ich glaub, du meintest, Reichsmark sagen.

  127. 127.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 15, 2018 at 1:37 am

    Here’s a pic from LA City Hall for y’all.

  128. 128.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    March 15, 2018 at 1:37 am

    @Villago Delenda Est: Matt Stoller was having some kind of meltdown yesterday because no one would acknowledge that Conor Lamb proves that trump voters aren’t racist.

  129. 129.

    Suzanne

    March 15, 2018 at 1:43 am

    White nationalists, real housewives…..who can tell the difference?

  130. 130.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    March 15, 2018 at 1:47 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Nice. How you get up so high?

  131. 131.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 15, 2018 at 1:49 am

    @Steeplejack (phone):

    How you get up so high?

    Mary Jane’s legal here now…LA City Hall’s 27 stories tall and has an observation deck at the top.

    ETA: LA City Hall’s the pointy building.

  132. 132.

    rikyrah

    March 15, 2018 at 1:49 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Congratulations!??
    Have you seen the ads for the new lung cancer screening. It’s 10 years too late for my mother, but I have been pushing other former smokers to it.

  133. 133.

    Ruckus

    March 15, 2018 at 1:58 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:
    Wait, what?

    Oh you said Matt S. Boy doesn’t have a lick of sense does he?

  134. 134.

    Joey Maloney

    March 15, 2018 at 2:25 am

    @Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et Al.):

    I think we can all agree that these are decent, hard working, simple folk

    The common clay of the Midwest. You know – morons.

  135. 135.

    opiejeanne

    March 15, 2018 at 3:21 am

    @Mnemosyne: Yay! Feedback is great. Sounds like you did very well. I love the crack about the East German judge.

    Me, I fell asleep at the keyboard and somehow erased the 800 words I had written over the past couple of days. Reconstructing the older parts from a faulty memory is lots of fun. Still hunting for the lost version in all of the places things like that go to hide. I did reconstruct most of it but I have this nagging feeling that the original was better

  136. 136.

    J R in WV

    March 15, 2018 at 3:28 am

    @Czanne:

    I had a mother-in-law, she was a crazed narsisisst, who could not believe the new home we had built didn’t have an apartment where she could live while others did all the work. She was built like a stack of bushel baskets all the way up and down, and was pretty mean.

    When we took her out for dinner every couple of weeks, she felt compelled to remark upon any form of dress and bodily shape that she found remarkable, and never remarkable in a good way, always something critical or disbelieving about a dress, or pants or short. Thank dog she died long before tattoos became common!

    On my most horny days, there was not a shred of attraction or interest in her of any kind. I would fix a faucet, replace a circuit breaker, bring my roofer buddy out to look at her roof. That was the limit. Thanks dog, I’m pretty sure she was glad her husband was passed and she didin’t need to fear a male showing interest in her. Whhoooo, doggies!!!!

  137. 137.

    akryan

    March 15, 2018 at 5:22 am

    @Steeplejack (phone): huge addiction to break. I used to do just about every drug that I found in front of me. It was basically recreationaly, but as much as I was partying at the time, that meant two or three times a week. I never woke up and wanted a line though. I always wanted a smoke with my morning coffee. I quit the drugs cold turkey when I got out of college without really thinking about it. I just wasn’t doing that sort of thing anymore. It took a lot longer to stop smoking. I started chewing instead. that took even longer to get off of with a lot of relapses. it never even gave me a buzz, but i kept wanting it. nicotine is a bitch.

  138. 138.

    Central Planning

    March 15, 2018 at 5:30 am

    @The Pale Scot:

    Wait, He was schtupping his MiL??!

    So, a MiLILF

  139. 139.

    ohthatguy

    March 15, 2018 at 6:21 am

    There was a press secretary for a group of crackers called Parrot, and I am just learning this now?

    Luckily, I think we all know a place that a person who speaks nonsense on behalf of racists can find a job opening

  140. 140.

    Bobby Thomson

    March 15, 2018 at 7:24 am

    I hate Indiana Nazis.

  141. 141.

    afanasia

    March 15, 2018 at 10:43 am

    @Ruckus: I’m impressed that anyone can remember any of those anniversaries. I could never remember my anniversary even while I was married. We had a plate with the date on it, but I iet him keep it.

  142. 142.

    opiejeanne

    March 15, 2018 at 10:56 am

    @Bobby Thomson: I see what you did there.

  143. 143.

    Rand Careaga

    March 15, 2018 at 11:19 am

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    But for about ten years after I quit, I dreamt so regularly and vividly of smoking that I would wake up literally unable to figure out if I had somehow taken it up again.

    Ah, then I’m not the only one. I still get these after sixteen years.

    (Oh, and as to “thrilling moments?” In the eighties, I was nonplussed once when my companion lit up a Marlboro in, ah, mid-thrill. It must have been evident on my features, because she then said “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just did that.”)

  144. 144.

    JDM

    March 15, 2018 at 11:41 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    These people are never as smart or capable as they think they are…

    I don’t remember where it was from, but it was said about trying to commit the perfect crime that there are at least fifty things that can go wrong, and if you’re a genius you’ll think of thirty of them.

    These folks aren’t geniuses.

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