Where there bombs involved? Of course there were bombs involved!
Golf Cart-Driving Florida Man Tries to Blow Up Neighbor’s Chickens With Home-Made Whiskey Bomb During Dispute Over BB Gun https://t.co/GqzNNafj8S pic.twitter.com/hRckGpNnAB
— Florida Man (@_FloridaMan) March 19, 2018
FORT PIERCE — A man who crafted a bomb inside a whiskey bottle and blew it up in another man’s backyard was charged with a crime Wednesday, investigators said.
Scott Frederick Wegener, 55, of the 500 block of Wendell Road, was charged with possession or discharge of a destructive device.
An anonymous caller Wednesday warned Wegener had detonated an improvised explosive device and was threatening it again, according to Wegener’s arrest affidavit.
The caller said Wegener, nicknamed “Spider,” was in a dispute with someone over the theft of a BB gun and had offered to pay a friend to crawl under the man’s home to plant an IED.
Investigators from the St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office, Fort Pierce Police Department, FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, all responded to Wegener’s home Wednesday.
They didn’t find any bomb-making equipment there, only two empty Canadian Mist bottles in a red golf cart.
At a home in the 800 block of South Sixth Street, they found evidence of an explosion in the backyard. The homeowner, Wegener’s friend, said the incident happened Saturday.
“Wegener pulled up to (the) house on the golf cart. They began to hang out. Wegener said he was going to kill the chickens in (the) yard. Wegener went to his golf cart and retrieved a Canadian Mist bottle filled with black powder, sand and a green fuse,” according to the affidavit.
Investigators said Wegener lit the fuse and threw the IED into the backyard, where it exploded.
They recovered a 1-pound bag of explosive black powder, 8 feet of “cannon fuse” and a coffee cup filled with sand, which Wegener had left at the Sixth Street home, the affidavit said.
Wegener was charged by the Sheriff’s Office. He remained late Friday in the Indian River County Jail, with bail set at $30,000.
Stay frosty!
Open thread.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I was gonna go with, “Whom amongst has never…”, but I’m trying to think what Florida Man element might be missing here? Anything? Maybe that the dispute was with his ex-wife, now next-door neighbor? A DUI on the golf cart?
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
Outside of Bishop’s immediate family and National Geographic documentaries, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Indigenous Australians represented in international (non-Aussie) pop culture. Maybe passing references to didgeridoos and bunyips, at most.
NotMax
Gads, I loathe the term improvised explosive device. It’s a homemade bomb. Period, full stop.
Corner Stone
The monkey was a more sympathetic character. At least he was just looking for a good time.
piratedan
man that is so strange, everyone knows that you should use gin bottles, not whiskey…..
Ninedragonspot
Detonated chickens reminds me of this classic (NSFW) Chinese menu mistranslation.
trollhattan
That must violate some law concerning the maximum allowable number of stereotypes in one story.
Corner Stone
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): Just spit it out.
Corner Stone
@piratedan: I thought it was vodka? “Molotov!”
Adam L Silverman
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Apparently he was wearing clothes and he didn’t try to eat anyone’s face, so…
jl
Any chickens hurt?
If they had been Cracker chickens, the guy is lucky the cops found him quick. Cracker chickens don’t get mad, they get even.
piratedan
@Corner Stone: I think any of the “white” spirits would have been acceptable :-) thankfully we’re still before Labor Day…
NotMax
@Jim, Foolish Literalist
Dive bombing while sitting in a balloon festooned lawn chair?
Alternatively,
We filled his head with cannonballs
And powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off
The gator lost his mind
Adam L Silverman
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): For a period of time the X-Men lived in Australia. One of the X-Men was an aborigine named Gateway who was a teleporter. He used a bullroarer to create gateways, hence the name, to teleport the X-Men to and from their missions.
Roger Moore
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Illegal drugs. It just isn’t the same without one of the participants high as a kite.
Peale
@piratedan: Hendrick’s gin is what is called for. Makes a fine giblet when the dirty deed is done,
NotMax
@Peale
Real men have Bols.
:)
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I see what you did there
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
@Adam L Silverman: Gateway is Lucas Bishop’s great-grandfather.
Off the top of my head, only other Indigenous Australian I can think of in non-Australian media was one of the characters in the fifth season of Canada’s Total Drama franchise. She was the season’s resident Aussie badass.
NotMax
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
Secondary character in 1985’s The Coca-Cola Kid. Story took place down under, production company was non-Australian, director Yugoslavian.
smike
@Ninedragonspot: Detonated Chickens. What a great band name.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Peale:
I don’t mix chicken and gin.
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
@NotMax: Steve Dodd.
NotMax
@Steeplejack
In this case would be a Gin & Chthonic.
piratedan
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): there was an old movie (1970) called The Games that followed four fictional marathoners in their preparation for the Olympic Games, one of the four was an Australian Aboriginal runner, character name was Sonny Pintubi…. but that’s the only non-Australian one that comes to mind…
poleaxedbyboatwork
Improvised explosive drinking foilt by imperturbable antiblasto chickens.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
Although that involves a gator, it is definitely Louisiana Man in that song, not Florida Man. Florida wasn’t even part of the United States yet when the events described therein took place, and it is explicitly happening in and around New Orleans.
Lizzy L
Wow, look at the neat things you can do with a bottle of Canadian Mist! Who knew?
kdaug
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): The Gods Must Be Crazy.
Adam L Silverman
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): Gateway was the only one I could think of. Sorry I couldn’t be more help.
NotMax
@Roger Moore
Picky, picky. Floriduh can’t have copycats?
:)
P.S.: I knew someone was going to bring that up.
kdaug
@Lizzy L
Step 1). Drink it all
Step 2a). Decide to make a bomb
2b). Or a toilet, because you really need to go right now. And poop could fit in there with a stick. If it would just quit wobbling around so much.
John Revolta
They began to hang out
This construction troubles me greatly. I’m not sure why.
“So, you ready to start hangin’ out?”
“Yeah, let’s go………no, wait, let’s not start yet.”
“Whassamatta?”
“I dunno. I’m just not feelin’ it. Gimme a minute here.”
……………………….
“Okay, I’m good. Start hangin’.”
……………………….
“Awwwwww yeaahhhh. That’s the stuff.”
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
@kdaug: That’s a South African movie about Kalahari Saan (with a Namibian national as the protagonist). Australia has nothing to do with it.
aznfg
When I saw the man had cannon fuse I immediately thought of this clip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5IU4bPS_S8
Mnemosyne
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD):
How often are Indigenous Americans portrayed outside of American culture?
(Canada shares the same indigenous peoples with us, so they don’t count.)
Brachiator
Was he really trying to blow up the birds or was this just a really wacky Chicken Kiev recipe gone wrong?
NotMax
re: above
Really liked the performance by indigenous Australian actor Mark Coles Smith in Last Cab to Darwin.
Can’t recall whether or not Tank Girlhad any indigenous actors in it.
smike
Looky, it’s simple: you caint steal nobody’s goddam BB gun. Sides, they can come back and get you with a good BB loaded sling-shot. And that’ll fuck you up worse than a whiskey bottle bomb. BB gun ain’t shit, but you caint steal it! That’s just how it is. Ever body knows.
mart
I am setting up a Floriduh! Man Go Fund Me for fake news incarcerated Whiskey Bottle Bombers. This poor man, having to put up with those fucking clucking fowl fucking chickens. It can drive a man to the brink of destruction. My Go Fund Me goal will be $20,000 to cover the $3,000 for the bail bondsman, 8% to Go Fund Me, and my executive fees. Please have a heart.
mart
@mart: And Give.
Kelly
Zuckerman from the front page the NYT “then we don’t deserve to serve you” reminds me of the book “How To Serve Man” mentioned in the Damon Knight short story.
Ninedragonspot
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): Famed New Zealand soprano Dame Kiri Te Kanawa is partially of Maori descent. She recorded a disc of Maori songs. Not much, but it’s what I got.
Ninedragonspot
@Mnemosyne: Winnetou says hello. Karl Mey westerns were BIG in Germany for a good long spell. Not sure whether they still are.
Mnemosyne
@Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD):
In the 1970s and 1980s, David Gulpilil was most likely the actor you saw in those roles. He concentrated more on directing in the 1990s and early 2000s, but he’s been acting a bit more lately.
Mnemosyne
@Ninedragonspot:
Maori or part-Maori actors are a lot more common, possibly because the Maori have been more assimilated into Kiwi society (for better and for worse) than Australian indigenous people have been. Jemaine Clement and the guy who played Jengo Fett come to mind first (Clement is half-Maori), but there are a lot more. It seemed like half of them did voices in Moana.
ETA: Temuera Morrison! And Rachel House voiced Grandma Tala, the crazy village lady.
Ninedragonspot
@Mnemosyne: There was also that time Mandopop superstar Jay Chou donned a Native American headdress and strutted about the Southwest.
piratedan
okay… I know that this is an open thread and I know that there are a few epic fantasy lurkers out there amongst us… but thought I would share that there’s finally a new Black Company novel out (by Glen Cook) … the long rumored Port of Shadows has a publication date and cover posted over at Tor…
damn fine news indeed!
opiejeanne
@kdaug: That was set in Botswana, about the San people. .
poleaxedbyboatwork
Hmm. Would that Dr. Who had puzzled out this regrettable noxious reality ahead of the conception of ever so many demon seeds
and afforded us an alternate blissful reality.
But, I suppose, just as there’s allus another self-satisfied humorless prig ready to feed at the wingnut welfare trough for infamy and riches in exchange for hapless perfunctory service (looking at you, talentless hack, Virgin Ben), it’s enlightening and purty dispiriting to know of the preponderance of kept men (“don’t know, don’t care”) and sadsack chickenshits (“reactionary inflammatory ideology in the service of treason, cuz I’m either stupid or bought, you pick!”) amongst the Grifters Obviously Phishing Party who ain’t got the first clue nor reservation ’bout the extent of their embarrassing damning inexculpable privilege.
Introspection ain’t their bailiwick. (Peoples is funny. But largely predictable!)
Reductionist that I is, like to think it comes down to understanding (or not) empathy, and understanding (or not) the lack thereof. And the ramifications.
“Fuck you I got mine” solipsism vs. “there but for the grace of God go I” combine’t w/the Golden Rule, ecumenically but irreligiously speaking. (And binarily speaking, which i despise, but, for expeditious communication’s sake, it’s the doltish age in which we live.)
When all options on one side lead to destruction, binary choices seem resplendent with possibility. (Which is an indictment of allowing oneself or one’s country to get shoehorned into a corner. But there it is.)
Sucha outlook may not help in negotiating this cruel ol’ world (what crutch does, ever, but what you cobble together on the fly not b/c but in spite of yourself?), but think it do help a body from not thinking theyselves too far gone to adequately interpret our ever-disintegrating reality farm. This, I confess, is a salve and a tonic in these dissonant times.
(Thanks in advance to those who find this crazy — your objections are duly noted.)
Gotta buddy who’s up in age, follows our disintegrating sitch with diligence and sagacity, who’s constant refrain is: “Shakespeare couldn’ta thought of this, could he?”
Me, I’ma thinkin no. When reality outstrips parody (to say nothing of satire), you is officially thru the looking glass and confronted by an amoral Chesire Cat who gives a fuck, a Queen who is prepared to off yer head for the slightest deviance from obsequy and a nation that turns its lonely eyes to evil jughead, Sean Hannity.
opiejeanne
Butthurt beat me to it.
opiejeanne
Did someone mention pie?
?BillinGlendaleCA
@opiejeanne: As long as it’s not cherry pie, I’m good.
opiejeanne
@?BillinGlendaleCA: What’s wrong with cherry pie?
Frankensteinbeck
@piratedan:
Good gravy. A new anything by Glen Cook? I have mixed feelings about the Black Company, some strongly good, some strongly bad. The Ten Who Are Taken And especially Soulcatcher are some of the coolest, most evocative villains ever. I find his Garret PI books easier to read, but the last few made it clear Cook himself has gone through dramatic emotional upheavals involving abusive relationships, and it interrupted his writing.
opiejeanne
@poleaxedbyboatwork: Well, if you feel that way about fried pies it’s only because you’ve never eaten one.
poleaxedbyboatwork
@opiejeanne:
Must confess, I find myself in the regrettable-but-oft-necessary position of asking for help.
Perhaps I’m thick, but I understand you not.
Could assume you are making a disparaging comment about the “pie” filter and my suitability thereto, and, given your past interactions with me, think this a not unreasonable assumption, but:
Like to think the best of others till proven otherwise, so:
Whatyoutalkin’bout,Willis?
piratedan
@Frankensteinbeck: completely agree about the Garrett books, the fact that he can use the Garrett voice and watching those characters grow, how times and people change has been one of the best things about his writing imho. Granted, I understand that his style is not for everyone, but when he’s on his game imho he’s one of the best…
The Ten Who Are Taken was such an incredible concept ahead of its time and the names of those Taken were really well chosen in regards to evoking your own concepts of who they are and how they were hung with those handles, I actually adore how he doesn’t describe too much, in that you’re allowed to fill in your own blanks and how he handles his protagonists where the story is the “Company” and who is in it at the time where people come and go…
I’ll stop here because he’s one of my favorites and his first entry in the genre seemed to inspire so many others who have blazed their own paths… supposedly the books have been optioned and we may actually see a series come to life (supposedly Eliza Dushku is in line to portray The Lady)…..
Amir Khalid
@poleaxedbyboatwork:
Even without laboured mannerisms and affected misspellings, your comments go on for far too long and don’t make sense.
poleaxedbyboatwork
@Amir Khalid:
Oh, come now. How uncharitable of you. There’s plenty of affectedmisspellings n labo[u]redmannerisms in there to satisfy even the most small-minded pedant.
Hmph. Ever’body’s a (reactionary) critic.
(Even tho’ it gains you naught, you cannot help yourself, can you? More’s the pity for you.)
?BillinGlendaleCA
@opiejeanne: Too sweet.
Amir Khalid
@poleaxedbyboatwork:
It may disappoint you to learn this, but I wasn’t exactly pining for you to show up and brighten my day. And it can be safely said that no one else does, either.
poleaxedbyboatwork
@Amir Khalid:
Is it possible, just for a moment, to bypass the seemingly unconquerable stupidity of you telling me how stupid and unwanted I am?
You disapprove of me and how I express myself. I get that. It fazes me not, but one might think you’d tire of betraying your petty tireless reactionary infantilism.
Ist possible you might just ignore me?
Cuz your reflexive insipid responses do you no credit.
People like you round here. Why not just stick to that?
Or must you, for petty vainglorious reasons, be seen as slaying the impertinent dragon?
I am not your enemy. I would appreciate it very much if you’d take it upon yourself to grow the fuck up.
Because you are embarrassing yourself.
Sister Golden Bear
I’ll see your Floriduh! Man, and raise ya two Floriduh! Men:
A man wearing a bull costume tried to burn down his ex-boyfriend’s house with spaghetti sauce
Amir Khalid
@Sister Golden Bear:
Now that’s news that brightens my day.
MattF
Old episode of Night Court (with Brent Spiner!) Not even off-topic!
bjacques
Let he who is without sin cast the first whiskey bomb.
Another Scott
@poleaxedbyboatwork: http://wondermark.com/1k62/
Cheers,
Scott.