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One of our two political parties is a cult whose leader admires Vladimir Putin.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Republicans don’t trust women.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

No one could have predicted…

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This blog will pay for itself.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: Floriduh! Man Update

Late Evening/Early Morning Open Thread: Floriduh! Man Update

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As it takes over into Sunday in the eastern time zone, let’s check in and see what Floriduh! Man has been up to this week.

Floriduh! Man should definitely stay away from the Internet!

From Florida Today:

Spectrum internet service for portions of Rockledge and Cocoa remained down for several hours on Wednesday after police said a 25-year-old man stole a repair truck routing fiber optic cable.

The resulting outage affected up to 5,000 customers, including businesses and residences, according to a spokesperson for Spectrum, the telecommunications company that contracted the repairs.

The $100,000 truck, hitched to a $50,000 trailer filled with tools and other equipment, was recovered around 5:30 a.m. Wednesday at a Denny’s restaurant parking lot on Merritt Island.

“Several police agencies were affected also,” said Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Cocoa Police Department. Officers had to use backup radios after the cables were snapped. Dispatch and 911 systems were not affected, Martinez said.

“The person came out of nowhere and stole the truck,” said Joe Durkin, spokesperson for Spectrum. One worker actually jumped from the truck as the suspected thief rolled off, violently snapping and damaging the cable.

“The worker felt the truck and trailer rocking and then start to move. He jumped out and saw the truck speed southbound on south Fiske Boulevard,” Martinez added.

You definitely don’t see this everyday!

News 6 Orlando:

DeLAND, Fla. – Two men are accused of breaking into the home of a man they both dated, stealing several items, then leaving spaghetti sauce boiling on the stove with a washcloth placed near the burner in an attempt to start a fire, according to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

The victim called 911 about 7 a.m. Tuesday because the security cameras in his home on Evergreen Terrace in DeLand detected motion and he believed someone was breaking in because a towel had been placed over one of the cameras, the report said.

Deputies went to the residence and saw a red Lincoln Navigator attempting to leave the area. A stop was conducted and the driver, 28-year-old John Silva, and passenger, Derrick Irving, told the deputy that they had just picked up some clothes from the victim’s home, according to the affidavit.

The victim told News 6 that Irving was wearing a bull costume.

The deputy said she could see a marijuana grinder in the center console and a vacuum, window A/C unit, flat-screen television and heater in the back seat. An empty jar of Ragu spaghetti sauce was also on the passenger’s seat, the report said.

The home reeked of smoke when deputies entered it, according to the report. A pot of spaghetti sauce was found burning on the stove with a white washcloth placed near the burner that had just begun to catch fire, according to the affidavit.

“He was trying to make it look like I left the stove on but who gets up 2 a.m. and fixes sketti,” the victim said.

Who indeed?

Floriduh! Man in Gainesville was, apparently, looking for a very good time…

Rance James Shannon blared his horn at cops and emergency vehicles and was found with multiple guns and drugs in his car.

A man was arrested Wednesday morning with an assortment of drugs and guns in his car after he called attention to himself with an impatient horn honk, according to Gainesville police.

Rance James Shannon, 27, stopped his car behind patrol and fire rescue vehicles who were working a traffic accident at 2:35 a.m. at 1700 W. University Ave., near University of Florida student housing. Shannon blared his horn.

An officer approached Shannon and could smell the strong scent of marijuana. Shannon appeared impaired and was yelling and slurrings. Law enforcement had Shannon exit the vehicle because he tried to drive away.

Officers found a loaded 9mm magazine, about $10,400 and a 4-inch knife on Shannon, in his waistband. A loaded pistol was in the passenger seat. A collapsible baton and pepper spray were in the driver’s side door panel.

In the floorboard, police found an AR-15, five quart-sized Mason jars full of 263.8 grams of marijuana, a jar of hash resin, 94.5 grams of cocaine, 11.6 grams of amphetamine powder, 16.5 Xanax pills and an Oxycodone pill.

A tote bag with 71.7 grams of marijuana, a fruity cannabis edible bar and cannabis gummy edibles was in the backseat.

Police found four handguns, an AK 47, ammunition, a stun gun, a baseball bat, bolt cutters and gloves in the trunk.

Shannon told police that if cannabis were in the car, it would weigh around 113 grams.

He also told police he was “a nice guy” because he could have used a weapon against police but didn’t, the report says. Police said he told them he thought he could have weapons as a convicted felon after three years.

He also told police he felt he had to honk his horn to get law enforcement’s attention.

Shannon was charged with carrying a concealed weapon while unlicensed, possession of a weapon by a convicted felon and possession of synthetic narcotics and other drugs and cocaine trafficking. He was held in the Alachua County jail.

And now you know why they call it dope!

Stay frosty!

Open thread.

Reader Interactions

107Comments

  1. 1.

    Mike J

    Born Miserable @bornmiserable
    the NRA hiring someone named Killer Mike to defend gun ownership is like NAMBLA hiring someone named Pedophile Jerry

  2. 2.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mike J: Killer Mike was Senator Sander’s Outreach Coordinator from his presidential campaign to the African American community.
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/killer-mike-is-bernie-sanderss-unofficial-campaign-adviser

    When rapper Killer Mike calls the Bernie Sanders campaign to pitch ideas or make suggestions, they pay attention, he says.

    “I think more rappers need to endorse [Bernie Sanders],” Killer Mike told The Daily Beast. “I’ll suggest some rappers who are incredibly brilliant…and I’ll get those [phone] numbers and pass those onto [Sanders’s] press secretary. When it comes time to organize hardcore events on the ground that will mobilize the young black vote, I’ll reach out to the appropriate contact in the campaign.”

    Killer Mike, who belongs to the hip-hop group Run the Jewels, has emerged as Sanders’s most prominent, and perhaps most passionately committed, celebrity endorser (one of many “Artists for Bernie”) as the senator fights his uphill battle against Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination.

    “What I have never gotten is a no-response, or dismissal, from the campaign,” he said. “His campaign really is one where I’ve seen people share ideas, and have people follow up.”

    More at the link.

  3. 3.

    Mike in NC

    Our next trip to the Sunshine State has been pushed back to Memorial Day. We want to finally see Saint Augustine and then head down to Sarasota for a little while. Want to see Pensacola as well but that’s going to have to wait. Maybe make it part of a visit to New Orleans.

  4. 4.

    John Gabriel

    “He was trying to make it look like I left the stove on but who gets up 2 a.m. and fixes sketti,” the victim said.

    “I’d a gotten away wit’ it too, if’n only I’d used a burgar instead’a’sketti!”

  5. 5.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mike in NC: Make sure to stop at the visitor center on I95 just inside the border to pick up your state issued, complimentary shooting arn for your personal use during the duration of your visit! And get a glass of the complimentary orange juice too.

  9. 9.

    John Gabriel

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Make sure to stop at the visitor center on I95 just inside the border to pick up your state issued, complimentary shooting arn for your personal use

    What’s a shooting urn?

  12. 12.

    Adam L Silverman

    @John Gabriel: Shooting arn as in shooting iron – a gun.

    I would guess a shooting urn is an urn you decide to use as a target, an urn you put your spare ammo into, and/or an urn containing the remains of Samuel Colt, Hiram Maxim, or John Moses Browning.

  16. 16.

    Mike J

    Wearing my CotA Mercedes cap and wondering why can’t ESPN get the F1 feed working right. 4/9 odds on Lewlew. Many butthurt F1 fans when Lewis said this week F1 needs more diversity and Merc had the nerve to agree with him.

  19. 19.

    Pete Downunder

    @Adam L Silverman: it’s like that honkytonk in west Texas that’s so rough they search everybody at the door for weapons and if you don’t have one they’ll lend you one.

  21. 21.

    Adam L Silverman

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: @Major Major Major Major: Every time I see him on TV, especially when it was a debate in the primaries or one of the townhalls he occasionally does on MSNBC, I so want to see him just stop what he’s doing and in his New York accent say: “I want a turkey and schmaltz on marble rye with a kosher pickle and a Doctor Brown’s cream soda!”

  23. 23.

    Adam L Silverman

    @RobertDSC-Mac Mini: It is what it is.

    My guess is Colion Noir (real name Collins Iyare Idehen Jr) reached out to him on behalf of the NRA. Noir’s schtick is to spoken word/lightly rap his commentaries for NRA TV.

  24. 24.

    John Revolta

    I know it’s only March, but we’ve got a real strong contender for Floriduh Man of the Year here.
    Also, I love the name Rance.

  28. 28.

    Mike in NC

    @Adam L Silverman: When we lived in Falls Church, VA we would often enjoy sandwiches at the famous Celebrity Delly where the fare included Doctor Brown’s Celery Soda. I tried it once and found it to be quite nasty, like eating haggis in Scotland: an experience you never ever forget.

  30. 30.

    oatler.

    Here in Arizona Sinclair stations have been doing their best to fracture reporting on the marches, focusing on NRA /MAGA protesters and ridiculing students.

  31. 31.

    Yutsano

    @Betty Cracker: I mean a paycheck’s a paycheck but he takes that gig he should get out of the rap game. The NRA isn’t exactly known for its African-American outreach.

  32. 32.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Mike in NC: I don’t know anyone who drinks that stuff. Rather, I’m sure I know someone, I just don’t know that they do.

    As for haggis, real, proper haggis is very good. The stuff you get at the chippie not so much.

  35. 35.

    poleaxedbyboatwork

    @Major Major Major Major:

    yup. He thinks it’s [NRA hiring Killer Mike] either subordinate to or the cause of all other issues.

    Agreed, but an inneresting question, to me, is why?

    Know there’sa lotta angst n bad feelin’ ’bout the Bernie douchebro-brigade n its counterproductive effect on our poor benighted country (“Bernie would won!”; I still get that, a lot, here in Alaska, amongst our demoralized citizenry; wouldn’t it be pretty to think so! If he woulda won, how come he couldn’t win the Dem nom? Obama did. With fewer structural advantages, but whatever.)

    I tend to give Bernie the credit of thinking what he thinks to be earnestly proffered. Biggest problem I got with Bernie is he seems to wanna put alla his eggs in the economic basket, and if there’s one thing that 50+-years of rightwing reactionary pliant Stockholm-syndrome-sufferin’ conformists have proven, incontro-fucking-veritibly, it’s that peoples is irrational beings who ain’t ordained by their economic interest.

    It’d be nice (and useful!) if Bernie’d figger that fuck out.

    imo

  36. 36.

    Major Major Major Major

    @poleaxedbyboatwork:

    He thinks it’s [NRA hiring Killer Mike] either subordinate to or the cause of all other issues.

    ‘It’ in my sentence refers to economic inequality. ETA And I really mangled the sentence though—I didn’t mean subordinate to. I meant that he thinks that every issue is either caused by income inequality directly or is the result of a system that causes income inequality. It’s a very lame form of Marxism.

  37. 37.

    poleaxedbyboatwork

    @Major Major Major Major:

    ‘It’ in my sentence refers to economic inequality.

    Then I fucked up, and I apologize. Don’t mind being disagreed with, but truly hate being misunderstood. Sorry.

    ETA: Arrgh. My point, which you needn’t share but I thought you were making, and I was clumsily tryn’ta agree, is that Bernie indugles inna reductionist economic philosophy that is as simple-minded as it is dangerous, cuz it don’t treat peeps like the fully-formed outlandish crazy fucking potentialities that they is.

    Is what I’s tryn’ta say.

    If I mangled your meaning, it warn’t my intention, and I apologize.

  40. 40.

    NotMax

    @Mike in NC

    Puh-leeze, it is Dr. Brown’s Celery Tonic, not soda. Normally am not a carbonated beverage drinker but I miss having access to it. Also too, Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry soda.

    @John Gabriel

    What’s a shooting urn?

    Minimum gauge. Jarring, isn’t it? Thanks for flasking.

    :)

    @Adam L. Silverman

    It’s yummylicious. Scottish stuffed derma. One can order canned haggis on Amazon, FYI. (No, have not done so.)

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    @NotMax: My SIL used to work for Amazon. She said you could order anything on there except live animals and human organs,

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Yutsano:

    She said you could order anything on there except live animals and human organs,

    I can make a call. Just let me know.//

  43. 43.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: Where I’m currently living there is a significant expatriate Scottish community. So there’s a butcher here that I can get it from fresh if I want it.

  45. 45.

    Betty Cracker

    @Yutsano: Yep. The NRA didn’t defend Philando Castile — Loathsome Loesch implied he deserved to die because he had weed in the car. I don’t think they ever mentioned John Crawford, killed for the crime of picking up a BB gun at Walmart, or Tamir Rice, a child shot dead for carrying a toy gun in an open carry state. They ought to change their name to the White Nationalists Rifle Association.

  47. 47.

    John Revolta

    Did somebody say haggis?
    I just finished redesigning my website and I think it came out pretty good but I’d like some feedback from people who aren’t me. Also I only have this old desktop and I’m told most people use their phones to look at stuff now’days so I’d like to know if it looks okay on various platforms.
    (You’re excused goldman……………I know what you’re gonna say!)

    celtic-rock.com

  49. 49.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    My cocker spaniel is trying to con me. I have a bowl of popcorn and I, of course, share a popped kernel or two with the girls. When I drop one by the cocker she eats it and then starts looking around like she didn’t find it. I’M ON TO YOU, NIKKI!

  50. 50.

    Suzanne

    who gets up 2 a.m. and fixes sketti

    I do, and I’d like this person to stop judging me.

    Camping wasn’t so bad. I got a bed in a cabin, so I didn’t have to bring a flask. I was still thrilled to come home and shower, moisturize, and lounge sans pants.

  53. 53.

    Mnemosyne

    We watched a couple of newish episodes of “Rick and Morty” tonight. I think the writers hate Rick’s fans almost as much as I do.

  54. 54.

    jl

    The guy who stole the truck should have headed for a Waffle House.
    The other two cases are way above my pay grade, so I won’t comment on them.

  56. 56.

    NotMax

    As to the ‘sketti’ story, any paramour who intentionally purchases Ragu brand sauce deserves to be dumped.

  57. 57.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    @poleaxedbyboatwork:

    I was a huge Bernie fan; I voted for him in the primary because I’m still pissed at Clinton for voting for the (eminently foreseeable) Iraq fustercluck.

    But since the election I’ve come to believe he’s acting in bad faith; the two viable political choices right now are the democrats or the dark side. He’s trying to grab glory while the whole planet is teetering on the edge of destruction.

    If he was really who he pretended to be he wouldn’t be threatening to fracture the only party that could possibly defeat evil. Now every time I hear him talk I picture a sound bubble saying ME-ME-ME-ME-ME above his head.

    He’ll keep flapping his lips at the camera and grabbing Putin’s rubles on the sly; I suggest you ignore him.

  58. 58.

    Amir Khalid

    I’m still mystified by the “burn down the house with spaghetti sauce” gambit. What was this flammable spaghetti sauce they were using?

  62. 62.

    poleaxedbyboatwork

    @hervevillechaizelounge:

    Fair enough.

    Disagree. Don’t think Bernie’s acting in bad faith. Expect he believes just what he sez. But there’s two narcotics most foul sabotaging FeeltheBern2 (“cheering fan-boys are a helluva drug” — just ask our crippled Manchurian-Siberian preznit):

    1. Bernie is the mornin’ rooster who thinks the sun unlimbers hisself just to hear Bernie crow; he’s completely thoroughgoingly unwarrantedly fulla himself, and there’s ain’t no bigger boffo buffoon than a mid-seventies macher who’s convinced he’sa economic savior *and* a sex symbol. And …

    2. Bernie is so economically reductionist (i.e. small-minded, i.e. unable to see the populist forest for the tribal trees, that he is, apparently, incapable of understanding that no, throwing significant parts of the Democratic coalition overboard just to stake a claim for the economic highground is tantamount to throwin’ the human baby out for the benefit of the economic bathwater.

    imo, ymmv

  70. 70.

    sukabi

    @hervevillechaizelounge: I followed a link the other day that someone posted to Bernie’s adult kid….read his Twitter feed….his mastery of spelling, logic and language is about as sophisticated as drumpf’s. Think a guy that can’t make sure his kid gets educated should be IGNORED on everything to do with “how to proceed”. But that’s just me. ☺

  71. 71.

    NotMax

    Amir, please correct if warranted.

    If one wanted to refer to Dolt 45’s tweets as Eine Kleine Scheissmusik, is that the proper construction?

    Scheißmusik?

  75. 75.

    Yutsano

    @NotMax: I don’t think they included swear words in the recent spelling reform Therefore Scheißmusik, is correct.

  76. 76.

    Viva BrisVegas

    Forget Florida Man. The nation (mine, not yours) is in paroxysms of outrage that the national cricket team has been caught cheating in the latest international game against South Africa. The team captain has confessed to bringing the game into disrepute after an Australian bowler was caught on TV camera engaged in tampering with the ball on his orders.

    National disgrace doesn’t even come close to it.

  77. 77.

    poleaxedbyboatwork

    @Yutsano:

    I don’t think they included swear words in the recent spelling reform. Therefore Scheißmusik, is correct.

    “Where have you gooone, General Scheiiiiißkopf, a nation churns its homely lies for you.”

  78. 78.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Viva BrisVegas: One should always refrain from playing with one’s balls when the TV cameras are rolling. Unless one is working in the adult entertainment industry.

  81. 81.

    Amir Khalid

    @hervevillechaizelounge:
    Bernie can perform on the stump, he knows how to get attention, and to a never-Hillary person in 2016 he had the appeal of not being her; but that was the extent of his qualifications for the presidency. He was nowhere near as well-prepared as she, even on his pet issues, and in other policy areas he freely admitted he was totally unprepared. After a quarter of a century in Congress, he was shockingly naive about political strategy. When he made his ridiculous proposal to lead million-Berniebro marches to Mitch McConnel’s window, someone should have asked the obvious follow-up: “McConnell closes his window. Your move?” I guarantee you, he would have been caught without an answer.

    This was all plain from the beginning — I saw it from the far side of the planet. And anyone who ever believed in his hollow candidacy, you included, was a dupe or worse.

  82. 82.

    ??‍? Martin

    @Mike J: Man what a shitty production. Did they just take the Sky feed and randomly drop commercials over it?

    Should not be able to gain an advantage in the pits over guys on the track under a virtual safety. Just saying. That was effectively an overtake of the safety car, had there been one.

    And why did Vettel get a Kim Jong Un haircut?

  83. 83.

    Mike J

    @??‍? Martin: That’s exactly what they did. Awful. When NBC had it they had commercials too, but they made sure you got every bit of action when they came back.

    And Lewis was robbed.

  86. 86.

    Viva BrisVegas

    @NotMax: I’m too high minded to point out a certain sport in which eleven minutes of play takes place over three and a half hours.

  90. 90.

    poleaxedbyboatwork

    @Adam L Silverman:

    One should always refrain from playing with one’s balls when the TV cameras are rolling. Unless one is working in the adult entertainment industry.

    Good policy irrespective. Huffily claiming “I’ma take my balls n go home” ain’t a winner nowheres. Fluffers is gotta eat, too.

  92. 92.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    @Adam L Silverman:

    @Viva BrisVegas: One should always refrain from playing with one’s balls when the TV cameras are rolling.

    No more televised snooker? I can live with that.

  96. 96.

    cosima

    @hervevillechaizelounge: I’m glad you’ve seen the light re: the bad actor. I’ve always felt that way about him. Butted heads with my daughter about it. I hope many others see him for what he is as well. Whether or not we can ignore him from here on out, well, I think he continues to do real damage to the party, so can’t say that I agree with that.

    I do love your screen name.

  99. 99.

    Zach

    Because of the $700 & $716 Billion Dollars gotten to rebuild our Military, many jobs are created and our Military is again rich. Building a great Border Wall, with drugs (poison) and enemy combatants pouring into our Country, is all about National Defense. Build WALL through M!

    Can anyone unpack Trump’s latest tweet? Does “M” mean Military or Mexico? Either he wants to deploy the military for a domestic construction project (I guess by adding a new role for the Army Corps of Engineers?!?) or he wants to build the wall on the Mexican side of the border…

    My guess is the former… take $20B from the military budget for wall construction. We’ll see how he explains that to all the people he promised the money would go to salary increases and things that blow stuff up.

  100. 100.

    JR

    @Adam L Silverman: Wikipedia tells the truth:

    Colion Noir is the pseudonym of Collins Iyare Idehen Jr., a gun rights activist, lawyer, and token black member of the National Rifle Association.

  101. 101.

    Matt McIrvin

    @Amir Khalid: I think recent history shows us that mass political protest can be very effective. But you don’t need to be President to lead them. In fact, it’s probably a handicap.

  102. 102.

    debbie

    Jeez, he’s already tweeted five times this morning. He must have been been beside himself all day yesterday. One (again) on the French hostage situation, two on the Wall, and two on how many attorneys want to represent him. FREAKING OUT!

  103. 103.

    debbie

    In a nutshell, Eric Cartman:

    You are just so BAD at this.You're like a 4-year-old covered in cookie crumbs next to a broken cookie jar.You're not fooling anyone.You conspired with Russia to defraud the United States, and you're going to jail.— Gary M. Sarli (@GMSarli) March 25, 2018

  104. 104.

    Shell

    In the floorboard, police found an AR-15, five quart-sized Mason jars full of 263.8 grams of marijuana, a jar of hash resin, 94.5 grams of cocaine, 11.6 grams of amphetamine powder, 16.5 Xanax pills and an Oxycodone pill.

    Only one Oxycodone pill?

  105. 105.

    Feathers

    @Betty Cracker: @Adam L Silverman: My sister was dormmate of the daughter of an NRA bigwig. Forget the name, but he was on TV all the time back in the 90s (when this all took place). She once wandered into their room telling them they were a disgrace to their race for listening to LL Cool J. My sister once had to pull over on 95 and tell her she was going to kick her out of the car and make her walk home if she used the n-word again.

    @Major Major Major Major: On a lighter note, the cricket flour stuff is actually not bad. The Harvard students who did the project making cricket flour food to fight global hunger would be out in Harvard Square selling their products. The chocolate chip cookies weren’t bad. Note that they were in the Chips Ahoy category, not like homemade, but… crickets. The product they ended up going with was chips, not cookies. Chirpchips Haven’t had them, but I see from the website that the local natural food store carries them.

  106. 106.

    Suzanne

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Lounging around without pants is something that absolutely anyone can love!

    @Adam L Silverman: I apparently have just a small dash of Jewish ancestry, but I have never felt more kinship that when watching that video. Damn straight. Camping is…..just……WHYYYYYYY.

Comments are closed.