Photo of part of “Trump border wall” below:
Yeah, I know it looks like a chicken coop built several years ago under the supervision of a woke wine mom in Florida. But all your fencing are belong to Trump now, according to the Homeland Security Secretary:
NOW: Homeland Security Secy Nielsen tells me replacing/improving current wall/fencing along Mexican border counts as “new wall.”
“This is the Trump border wall,” she says. pic.twitter.com/XtWcFKoeYh— Peter Alexander (@PeterAlexander) April 4, 2018
If repairing fences erected during the Clinton, Bush and Obama administrations counts as the “Trump border wall,” I think my chicken coop should too. Unlike the official “Trump border wall,” my coop fencing holds freeloaders who would raid our crops at bay.
piratedan
these guys would count a rope tied between two fence posts as “part of the new wall” in that they’re that desperate to be seen “doing something” to prevent those caravans of immigrants from coming to buttfuck off of the beaten road USA and destroying their way of life with the imminent threat of tacos trucks and fresh tamales.
Baud
That’s one scary bird. I’m glad there’s a wall between it and me.
Corner Stone
Jeebus Cracker, Betty’s cousin in a banjo cover band. I don’t care who builds the damn thing, just keep that scary beast the hell away from me!
Cermet
The losers that follow the orange fart cloud on fake news will believe anything as long as it support’s their goals – stupid is as stupid votes, I guess.
Corner Stone
You said “erected”. huh huh. huh huh. erected.
JPL
Where does Trump find these people, who can lie on command? geez
eclare
I still don’t have a taco truck on my corner. /pouts
Corner Stone
@piratedan: Still pissed we don’t have a taco truck on every corner. Never going to forgive them for denying me that.
Betty Cracker
@Baud: Yeah, that one in particular always looks like she’s wondering what eyeballs taste like…
Major Major Major Major
Can somebody explain how trump can order troops to the border? Isn’t there a law about troops not doing law enforcement activities?
WereBear
Hey, the more pathetic and foolish looking Trump actions make Trump voters… the better.
germy
Chickens (and birds in general) appear fine in profile… but when they look at you head on, it’s a different story.
germy
@Major Major Major Major: National Guard, they explained later. (After the constitution was explained to drumpf)
Yutsano
@Betty Cracker: Birds evolved from dinosaurs. The ancestor of the modern chicken (which still exists) is a fierce fighting bird. Chickens are omnivores. If you were to lay bleeding and motionless in the coop, you would be dinner.
germy
(Ad in the upper right corner of my screen here)
efgoldman
@Major Major Major Major:
Posse comitatus. When W sent them they had no weapons, and were only “providing administrative support”
Brachiator
@Baud:
That shock of red on top of that bird kinda reminds me of Trump.
JPL
@Betty Cracker: Before I realized that you were answering to someone else, I thought you meant the Sec. Nielsen.
M. Bouffant
Is a “wine mom” what happens when the spawn has been shuffled off to higher education?
Adam L Silverman
Well bless her heart!
efgoldman
@Brachiator:
The bird’s is real
Yarrow
All this means is Trump is going to say, “I built the wall!” and all those idiots shouting “Build the wall!” will cheer. That’s it. It’s positioning for rally chants.
Feathers
@Yutsano: Remembering Alton Brown demonstrating how to cut a chicken into parts using a toy T-Rex skeleton. After removing the tail, of course.
bobbo
Breaking: 2 + 2 = 5, and the Emperor’s new clothes are the height of fashion.
Jay
@efgoldman:
So did Obama, and the border State’s Govornors have to want them there, mobilise them and pay for them, ( if no Federal funds are allocated), and all they can do is Adminstrative Support, medical and unarmed Training.
It’s another paper “wall” announcement made to feed the Gullibilies.
Gelfling545
Buffalo meet up still on?
tobie
@efgoldman: I thought only the governor was allowed to call up a state’s National Guard in peacetime. Are we at war with Mexico? Is there no criterion for declaring a national emergency? Who friggin knew before Trump that the President had such absolute powers? If this crisis ever ends, I hope we can forever ban the phrase “the framers (of the Constitution) in their infinite wisdom.” Infinite wisdom, my foot.
Brachiator
@Major Major Major Major:
I didn’t realize that this has been done before (i.e., National Guard troops) until I looked at the CNN news story.
I expect that Trump will quietly pull back these units once his tantrum is over.
M. Bouffant
@Major Major Major Major: The National Guard can be mobilized w/ the approval of the Gov. of whichever state, although they are precluded from arresting/detaining people; they have to call the Border Patrol to do that. How that will actually work in the middle of a desert remains to be seen.
Added: Oh, never mind …
efgoldman
@tobie:
Eisenhower nationalized/federalized the Arkansas guard in 1950-whatever to enforce the desegregation order in Little Rock schools.
Brachiator
@efgoldman:
And a better comb job.
Mnemosyne
I still say that Nielsen is Kelly’s mistress. Pass it on.
Frankensteinbeck
There is an extra layer to the excuse here. Trump’s followers know that Trump has delivered on his promise better than any president ever. They’re not kidding themselves, either, because they all understood what he meant was to deport Hispanics as sadistically and in the greatest numbers possible. They get a warm, triumphant glow when they hear stories about people who have lived here all their lives or have put their lives on the line for our country being deported to near-certain death. They just need a paper-thin technicality to retort to ‘But he hasn’t built a wall’ with. As far as they’re concerned, the wall itself is a technicality.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@piratedan:
Let’s not forget Brazilian soap operas, which will insidious undermine The American Way(tm) because everyone in them is so hot.
Adam L Silverman
@tobie: This is why they have to work through the governors. They are requesting that the governors do this. The governors can refuse as these would be Title 32 deployments, not Title 10.
This is all optics. The problems they want to solve on the southern border peaked in 2007 and have been returning to long term normal for the past 11 years. The vast majority of undocumented in the US are not undocumented entry that came across the southern border. Rather, they are undocumented overstays who came her legally and have overstayed their delineated departure dates. Both of these are civilian misdemeanors, but undocumented overstay doesn’t even have a civil penalty. Undocumented entry may result in deportation. This has nothing at all to really do with undocumented entry or overstay. This has everything to do with the President and his closest domestic policy advisors and enablers having serious problems with black and brown people.
TenguPhule
@Betty Cracker:
Its the dinosaur in her blood.
schrodingers_cat
@Frankensteinbeck: It is indeed. Legal immigration has slowed down to a crawl including processing of green card and citizenship applications. Tourist, business and student visas are down too. Winning.
Betty Cracker
@Yutsano: I never forget that for a moment. Sometimes when they’re free ranging, if I’m sitting in a chair reading, they’ll hop up on the chair and stare at me. Sometimes even stand on my shoulders like parrots. I don’t know if they’re hoping I’ll bring them some treats or hoping I’ll drop dead so they can feast on me! Probably either would be fine. They are pitiless beasties.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@Major Major Major Major: Housemate of mine was a California National Guardsman and spent a few of his two weeks on the border with Mexico for drug interdiction.
TenguPhule
@Brachiator:
Any bets as to whether Trump tries to break this law by actually ordering the military officers in command to issue out the guns?
TenguPhule
@tobie:
National Security kinda went off the rails after the PATRIOT ACT.
Sister Golden Bear
Mueller’s team questioning Russian oligarchs
https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/04/politics/mueller-special-counsel-investigation-russian-oligarchs/index.html
Tick took, motherfuckers
TenguPhule
@Yutsano:
Some of them prefer their prey be still alive when they eat them.
Adam L Silverman
@TenguPhule: That would be an illegal order. It would be ignored.
Corner Stone
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
The only thing hotter than a Brazilian cast would be a Soap of all Venezuelan actresses.
Major Major Major Major
@Adam L Silverman:
Or as Donald Trump calls them, future wives!
Jay
@Corner Stone:
Who get’s to soap them?
Jay
@Adam L Silverman:
And of course, kids seeking refugee asylum at registered border crossings.
Corner Stone
@Jay:
Corner Stone <——– This Guy
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
They can patrol that 92-lane highway running straight as an arrow to the Canadian border which the RWNJs are always going on about. Also the nationwide network of tunnels connecting pizza parlor basements and abandoned Walmarts.
Adam L Silverman
@Jay: Yep. Always good to do the foreign extremists information operations for them.
Brachiator
@TenguPhule:
Sadly, I think that while most of the military officers will try to do what they have been tasked as humanely as possible, Trump could give less than a shit, and will be bragging about how tough he is to dinner party guests or to the goobers at his next rally.
TenguPhule
@Adam L Silverman:
I’m less confident about that, seeing a bit too many high ranking Republicans in command.
TenguPhule
@Major Major Major Major:
Not current mistresses?
M. Bouffant
Silver Lake sidewalk chickens
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pyRVN-ejoJY/VavIekSRLhI/AAAAAAABj2o/QQStBnuDBts/s1600/1%2Ba%2Bjade%2Bhelm.jpg
Adam L Silverman
@TenguPhule: It would not be followed. No National Guard brigade commander, division commander, or state level command personnel are going to authorize issuing weapons.
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
How many Ameros does that sell for?
:)
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: Dieci cinco. But if you time it right, you can get a 20% discount with the Independence Day sale.
Jay
@Adam L Silverman:
Yup, the last time the National Guard was imployed “illegally”, it was the Guard Commanders who took the fall for it, not the politico’s.
“On March 10, 2009, members of the U.S. Army Military Police Corps from Fort Rucker were deployed to Samson, Alabama, in response to a murder spree. Samson officials confirmed that the soldiers assisted in traffic control and securing the crime scene. The governor of Alabama did not request military assistance nor did President Obama authorize their deployment. Subsequent investigation found that the Posse Comitatus Act was violated and several military members received “administrative actions”.[12][13]”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posse_Comitatus_Act
JeanneT
from Pablo Neruda and Greg Brown:
…I am weary of chickens –
we never know what they think,
and they look at us with dry eyes
as though we were unimportant….
It’s true. They do, and we are…
but it’s hard to take that from
a damn chicken.
TenguPhule
@Jay:
Wait, fucking Keebler Elf can potentially request the National Guard under pretense?
MomSense
I resent borders generally and this wall bullshit is ridiculous. The US isgoing to become a zoo exhibit for Canada and Mexico if we stay on this trajectory.
Jay
@TenguPhule:
Nope, can’t be pretense.
And they can only be used for order, evacuation, search and containment.
Amir Khalid
@Adam L Silverman:
To which Trump will say, “I’m the President now, and I make the rules.”