Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Let there be snark.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

In after Baud. Damn.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Someone should tell Republicans that violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, or possibly the first.

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Crime of the Century

Crime of the Century

by | 213 Comments

This post is in: , ,

Nothing special to see here. Just a couple of dogs. What’s that red disk? Seems out of place…
Ah, yes. That is where that disk goes. On top of this jar. Which was full 10 minutes ago.
“In exchange for lenience I will confess. I temporarily had possession of 1/3 of that jar of bickies. You will find the evidence in the kitchen and backyard!” Great. Where’s the other 2/3?

 

 

“…”
“I regret nothing.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the fund that’s split between all eventual
Democratic nominees in House districts currently held by Republicans.

Goal Thermometer

 

Reader Interactions

213Comments

  5. 5.

    geg6

    @Mike in DC:

    No, those are the soft and chewy Milk Bones. No benefit to dental health at all. Just fat tummies.

    My pups did the same thing not too long ago. Pretty much the same looks on their faces, too. And they also regretted nothing. Koda faked being sorry, but Lovey, being Lovey, couldn’t have given less of a shit.

  6. 6.

    Yutsano

    LOCK THEM UP!!!
    …
    After belly rubs. And skritches. And maybe a kiss or two.

    @geg6: Every time you talk about Koda I’m reminded of my brother’s dog who just passed. Very similar in looks and personality. She died of a sudden kidney failure that might have been an ingested poison but they couldn’t tell. They even have similar names. She was Roka.

  7. 7.

    The Moar You Know

    At least you get the courtesy of a guilty face. My golden does not know what “guilt” is.

    Quite the crime, Watson.

    ETA: should add that my golden knows what guilt is in that he can exploit the shit out of me with my own like nobody I’ve ever met. But he doesn’t feel the emotion at all. Thank God my dog isn’t human. He’d be a Republican and probably dictator for life of the US by now.

  8. 8.

    Chris

    The dog I lived with at my dwelling before this one somehow got into, and ate, an entire big can of parmesan. Another time he got into my uncooked tortellini. Another time my croissants.

    Eating a full jar of milk bones is actually very mild compared to what I’m used to.

  9. 9.

    germy

    We used to keep a bag of cat treats in a drawer downstairs.

    One morning I found the drawer open and a big hole in the bag. Most of the treats were gone, and the cat was napping quietly in a different part of the house.

    To this day she protests her innocence.

    We had to find a new hiding place for the treats.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    When not yet wise to the way of dogs I houseset for friends with a sweet girl yellow lab. One day I went to feed her and noticed the ginormous kibble bag had been raided. She gave me that “Yes, guilty, sorry” look but what I really noticed was when viewed from above she had acquired the shape of a football. Labs and goldens may be the planet’s most food-fixated breeds and this Lab had actually managed to hit her limit. In case anybody wondered whether such a limit exists.

    ETA my only master thief was a big dalmatian that managed to score a two-pound chateaubriand from the kitchen sink–still in the paper wrap and frozen solid. Not a trace until the paper reappeared in the backyard after a day or two.

  11. 11.

    Mel

    Basenjis?! Smart, clever pooches.

    Love that yodel!

    Cute doggy in the houndstooth jacket looks so much like my dog niece, Lillie.

    Lillie had a penchant for opening drawers and dragging her Mom’s bras and pantyhose out for inspection whenever there was some important event. First time hosting a new boss for dinner? “Hey! Check these out, Mister!”

    Lillie could also unlock the dog food canister, open lever latch doors, and set off the alarm clock when she wanted her people to get up. She was a big personality.

  14. 14.

    geg6

    @Mel:

    We used to have a big old yellow Lab, Henry, who would, if was careless with them, eat the cups out of my bras and the crotch out of my underwear. Never did figure out if that meant he liked me or hated me.

  15. 15.

    The Moar You Know

    Labs and goldens may be the planet’s most food-fixated breeds

    @trollhattan: Labs are worse (I raise both). Turns out labs have a double gene for hunger, to explain it very poorly.

  17. 17.

    The Moar You Know

    Crime of the Century

    One of the best albums made by anyone, great choice.

  18. 18.

    TenguPhule

    So the film A Quiet Place is getting good reviews.

    And its set in a world where Trump and every other asshole who couldn’t keep their mouth shut died horribly.

  19. 19.

    Jewish Steel

    @rikyrah: Something we’d very much like to know! And what other technology have they mastered behind our backs?

  20. 20.

    geg6

    @raven:

    Can you get the soft and chewy ones in a box? The way Koda goes through them, a cheaper option would be great! I get her the huge industrial size box of the big hard Milk Bones. Lovey disdains anything as pedestrian as regular biscuit Milk Bones. She barely tolerates the soft and chewy ones. She much prefers the very expensive not-really-rawhide chews (I think they are called Smart Bones). She is the pickest, most expensive eater of a dog I’ve ever known. Which is funny because she’s the only mutt I’ve ever had, too. Of course, our other dogs were all pure bred Labs and goldens, which are well known garbage cans.

    @Yutsano:

    Awwww, poor thing! Roka is a lovely name. My sympathies to your brother. Labs just take a part of your heart with them when they go. Such sweet dogs.

  24. 24.

    geg6

    @rp:

    If that pup is anything like my Lovey, probably not. Lovey loves being a fashion plate. Her wardrobe now rivals the size of mine. Plus she’s picky about what she’s wearing. I’ve taken to showing her all her sweaters and fleeces and letting her pick the one she wants to wear. Currently, she’s been favoring her blue fleece with paw prints and orange piping. To the extent that I have washed it about four times in the last week because that’s all she wants to wear. I think it’s the wind and damp. When the weather finally breaks, I’m betting she’ll be all over her pink cotton tee with hearts and sequins.

    She really is a diva in every way.

  25. 25.

    Rob in CT

    Impressive they got the top off, undamaged. The time my dogs got at a peanut butter jar, they did so by simply chewing through the plastic top (and some of the plastic jar) to get at the PB. Which they then smeared on a rug. Though they mostly cleaned it back up, because yummy.

    Ah, labs.

  26. 26.

    BruceJ

    Heh, mine would belch in my face, too, just to show how utterly incorrigible they are…

  27. 27.

    Roger Moore

    @germy:
    My cat must be unusually well behaved. I can leave out a bag of treats and he never tries to open it. These are treats he like enough that he will wake up and teleport into the room if he hears me pick up the bag.

  28. 28.

    Mel

    @geg6: My sister-in-law had a big, sweet, goofy Lab that started eating the crotches out of the family’s clothes when he hit adolescence. They finally had to resort to using locked hampers, and installed toddler safety locks on their lower drawers to stop the assault on pants, pajamas, etc,

    Sister-in-law had my nephew gather up and drop off her drycleaning one weekend when she was out of town. When she went to pick her items up, the teenager at the register was nervous and seemed hesitant to ring up the items. There was a tense, whispered exchange in the back area of the store, and the owner finally came out and rang the total, but wouldn’t look my sister-in-law in the eye. She couldn’t figure out what in the hell was going on. As she was leaving, she heard a burst of hysterical laughter from the back of the store.

    When she got home, she took the plastic off of her clothes and was mortified to see that all three pairs of pants had the crotch areas completely and neatly chewed away, as if she had casually de-crotched all her pants, strolled around the neighborhood in them, and then dropped them off to be cleaned and streaked in yet again.

    My nephew had left the pants on the bed unattended for no more than 5 minutes. That was all it took.

    She could never work up her nerve to go back to that cleaner.

  30. 30.

    BruceJ

    @trollhattan: Our families first dog, Liebchen, was a chihuahua/miniature doxie cross. MAYBE all of 7 pounds soaking wet. Our first Thanksgiving with her, Mom left the turkey carcass on the table after dinner and we went to watch something on teevee. Liebchen (who had never demonstrated any ability at jumping) managed to get up on the table and ingest approximately her body weight in turkey…

  32. 32.

    Chat Noir

    @ChrisS: These bird-cams are fascinating. The Deborah eagle pair just hatched three eggs over the past week and it’s easy to kill several hours just watching them. Beautiful avian activity.

  33. 33.

    germy

    @Roger Moore: I remember a Far Side cartoon about a cat husband and wife complaining that the (cat) neighbors always show up for a visit when they open a can.

  34. 34.

    Mike in NC

    Crime-related news update: former South Korean president sentenced to 24 years for corruption and other charges.

    Let it happen here!

  36. 36.

    rikyrah

    UH HUH
    UH HUH

    Meet Benjamin Sparks, Would-Be Slave Owner
    By Josh Marshall | April 5, 2018 6:53 pm

    35 year old Benjamin Sparks, a prominent Republican political consultant who has worked for Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan and Scott Walker among others, was engaged to an unnamed woman. Sparks had his fiance sign a five page contract in which she agreed to be his “slave and property,” shortly after they started dating last November. This involved kneeling, looking at the ground while she spoke to him, being nude at all time, engaging in sex on demand at any time and wearing a collar. At the end of March he began to demand that she have sex with other men, while bound and blindfolded, while he watched. She refused. That led to a fight in which he allegedly attacked her. Sparks himself then called the police and then fled the scene. He apparently absconded to Texas where he is currently hiding out while there is a warrant for his arrest in Nevada.

  38. 38.

    TenguPhule

    @rikyrah:

    Sparks had his fiance sign a five page contract in which she agreed to be his “slave and property,” shortly after they started dating last November. This involved kneeling, looking at the ground while she spoke to him, being nude at all time, engaging in sex on demand at any time and wearing a collar.

    And she apparently signed this.

    Only the sex with other men thing was apparently a kink too far.

    SMH.

  41. 41.

    germy

    @rikyrah:

    Facebook to require all political ads to be labeled, sourced

    Good news. It’s a start.

    But I wonder if the ratf••kers will just be more creative, creating front organizations.

  44. 44.

    Jeffro

    @rikyrah: I saw that. How many GOP sex-io-paths have to hit the news before the media can jump on it and call it a trend? There’s that wacky Greitens, all these televangelists, now this psycho.

    Because on the Dem side, it only takes one Weiner to launch a month’s worth of stories. Republicans? Not so much

  46. 46.

    trollhattan

    @JPL:
    Spoiler alert!: In an uncredited cameo about an hour in, Elmer Fudd appears and whispers “Shhh, Be vewy, vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits.”

  47. 47.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @TenguPhule:

    Nope. Not seeing it, not now, not ever. Saw the theatrical preview and found it terrifying.

    Let this be my plug for Movie Pass, which is a GREAT deal – a 2D movie a day at good theaters with the “fall asleep” lounge chairs for $10 per month per head.

  50. 50.

    Ohio Mom

    I am always impressed by how neat, tidy and clean all you pet owners keep your houses. No matter who is posting, the floors are sparkling and there is no or very little clutter.

    Makes me a little embarrassed at the state of my abode.

  51. 51.

    ? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?

    @TenguPhule:
    I have an issue with the backstory. The family at the end figures out how to kill the alien creatures yet everybody else, including the world’s militaries, failed to do so. I call bullshit.

  52. 52.

    TenguPhule

    @? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?:

    The family at the end figures out how to kill the alien creatures yet everybody else, including the world’s militaries, failed to do so. I call bullshit.

    Militaries primarily run by Trump, Putin and Xi.

    Also, apparently in the backstory there were a lot of aliens involved in the wipe out.

    Metric fucktons of them.

  55. 55.

    rikyrah

    @Ohio Mom:

    I am always impressed by how neat, tidy and clean all you pet owners keep your houses. No matter who is posting, the floors are sparkling and there is no or very little clutter.

    Makes me a little embarrassed at the state of my abode.

    I know what you mean…LOL

  60. 60.

    Duane

    Republican Governor Eric Greitens of Missouri is under investigation for ethics violations by the state ethics commission. (Greitens has a degree in ethics from Duke University).
    The ethics commission can’t make a determination because it lacks enough members. Greitens will make the appointments.
    Irony, you are truly missed.

  61. 61.

    TenguPhule

    Looks like the Dow is going to end down around 500+.

    so a 2% drop across the board on all the major market indexes to cap off this week.

    Fun times ahead.

  62. 62.

    Jeffro

    @Ridnik Chrome: LOL yeah I guess not, right?

    I’m one of those folks who can still enjoy a movie or book even when I know the ending. Ok, GONE GIRL would have been an exception if I’d known the ending before reading it…the gut punch in the middle was just too awesome. But other than THAT…

  66. 66.

    Cacti

    RIP to former Senator Daniel Akaka of Hawaii.

    A stalwart Dem, and one of the 23 Senators brave enough to vote against the Iraq War Resolution in 2003.

  67. 67.

    Jeffro

    Btw folks it looks like Scott Pruitt – in addition to being a paranoid loon – is also a deadbeat.

    Wait, not just a deadbeat, a deadbeat AND a grifter!
    Per Yasher Ali on Twitter:

    Pruitt was supposed to stay in that DC Condo for 6 weeks…instead he kept pushing the owners to stay longer until they got so fed up they asked him to leave and changed the locks. “Scott Pruitt is the Kato Kaelin of Capitol Hill.”

    The head of a cabinet agency, no less. Truly, only the finest serve in this maladministration!

  69. 69.

    Brachiator

    @rikyrah:

    35 year old Benjamin Sparks, a prominent Republican political consultant who has worked for Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan and Scott Walker among others, was engaged to an unnamed woman. Sparks had his fiance sign a five page contract in which she agreed to be his “slave and property,” shortly after they started dating last November.

    GOP family values, with a contract.

  70. 70.

    Jeffro

    @chris: The DACA kids are like, “Um hey journalists? Media influencers? Could we have a brief word with you before you sign up for that?”

  72. 72.

    TenguPhule

    @Brachiator:

    GOP family values, with a contract.

    Not sure which is worse. That he produced that contract or that she signed it of her own free will.

  75. 75.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @Jeffro:

    I’m one of those folks who can still enjoy a movie or book even when I know the ending.

    I can, too. But I almost never go to see movies in the theater, and this one I was thinking I might just see on the big screen, so just this one time I would have liked not knowing.

  77. 77.

    ? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?

    @TenguPhule:
    We didn’t give Trump a chance. It’s our fault. That’s why the new Roseanne got 18 million viewers for the series premiere.

  78. 78.

    chris

    @Ohio Mom: Indeed. I live in the woods with two cats and a dog and am always pleased when there are no pine needles in my bed. Other than that, a broom and snow shovel once in a while work wonders.

  79. 79.

    MoxieM

    @Chris: My late lamented piratical Newfy Duncan would break into the kitchen cupboards, steal something like a jar of spaghetti sauce, take it to the dining room, open it (under the table), and then decide it wasn’t interesting…

    One day I came home to find him standing on the kitchen island, eating from the bowl of fruit. He had bitten into each of the clementines, and decided it was not to his liking, and thrown them on the floor. With a single dog bite mark in each. He was working on the apples, which he enjoyed. (No worries, I kept the grapes in the fridge.) I had to store the bread 5 ft. high so he couldn’t reach it.

    I miss the wily bastard.

  82. 82.

    Mike in DC

    @catclub:
    As I understand it, a 10% drop is a correction, 20% is a bear market, and 40% is a crash/recession. We passed 10% already. 20 seems reachable.

  84. 84.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @TenguPhule: Up until the point where she said no and he kept pushing I have no problem with it. Consenting adults and all that. But it’s hypocritical as hell for him to belong to a party that wants to police what other consenting adults do in their own bedrooms…

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    @rikyrah:

    It actually sounds like she’s a sensible woman who’s into consensual BDSM since she got it all into a written contract and refused to do things she had not previously agreed to in writing.

    Her only mistake was getting involved with a Republican since they always try to wiggle out of a contract.

  86. 86.

    ? Martin

    @Yellowdog: Our corgi once ate 5 large bottles of Vitamin E.

    5,000 Vitamin E tablets plus the plastic bottle they came in. Just parts of lids and plastic and the occasional tablet he couldn’t reach after the bottle exploded scattered across the back yard. Not harmful, though it did have the same effect on his digestive system as if he drank (and then ate the bottles from) a few quarts of motor oil. That lasted about a week.

    He also ate most of a 5 lb bag of flour when he was a puppy. Inverse effect on his digestive system from the vitamin E. I think he learned from that one though. Looked like very boring Holi festival had been staged starting from the kitchen and spread out across the whole first floor. Thank fucking god for Roomba.

  87. 87.

    Mike in NC

    @Jeffro:

    Truly, only the finest serve in this maladministration!

    Reports are that Kelly has been pushing Trump to cut Pruitt loose, but he’s a favorite of Fat Bastard and is probably safe until another scandal is uncovered. Meanwhile, perhaps Kelly will finally declare himself fed up and walk.

  88. 88.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @TenguPhule:
    I don’t feel it’s anyone’s business but theirs to judge their consensual sex life. That includes consensually pretending to be non-consensual. People have kinks. That’s life.

    When it becomes political hypocrisy, then I’m ready to judge.

    EDIT – @Mnemosyne:
    This.

  89. 89.

    The Moar You Know

    DHS wants to compile a list of journalists and “media influencers.”

    @chris: Don’t worry, I sure the intent is benign and they’re just going to personally visit each one of their homes, to drop off cookies.

    Might as well just change the department’s name to GESTAPO and get on with it.

  90. 90.

    trollhattan

    Yet another Republican media opinionator gay-threatens a Parkland teen.

    rump-loving radio host Jamie Allman says he’s preparing to “ram a hot poker” up Parkland survivor “David Hogg’s ass” in a Twitter post following the March for Our Lives rally in Washington D.C. “I’ve been hanging out getting ready to ram a hot poker up David Hogg’s ass tomorrow,” Allman wrote on Twitter. “Busy working. Preparing.”

    As the weekly St. Louis newspaper Riverfront Times reports—Allman, a conservative commentator with a morning radio show on 97,1 FM and a television program that runs on the St. Louis ABC affiliate network owned by Sinclair—has been a vocal critic of Hogg after the 17-year-old Parkland student lead advertisers in boycott of Fox News host Laura Ingraham.

    A screenshot of his comment “began rump-loving radio host Jamie Allman says he’s preparing to “ram a hot poker” up Parkland survivor “David Hogg’s ass” in a Twitter post following the March for Our Lives rally in Washington D.C.

    The hell is wrong with these people?

  91. 91.

    Mnemosyne

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    Yeah, I’m happy to judge the dude for trying to change the terms and then getting violent when she refused. The actual existence of the contract was very smart on her part if she’s into BDSM.

  92. 92.

    Jay

    @TenguPhule:

    One of the most important things to do, if you are attracted to BDSM, is find the local community, attend the Munches. Learn the rules.

    Safe, Sane, Consentsual.

    A lot of people drift into the community when they are older, because often, finding someone who will tolerate your kinks, is rate. Finding someone who will happily indulge your kinks on an equal basis, ( GGG as Dan Savage puts it) is rarer still. Finding someone who fits your kinks, isn’t even often found inside the community.

    One of the most important things you will learn at Munches, is how people outside and inside the Community, have screwed up rare relationships, and how others have faced criminal and civil charges, by not following the well established rules.

  93. 93.

    Mnemosyne

    @trollhattan:

    In case you didn’t know, that’s the rumored way that Edward II was murdered, as featured in Mel Gibson’s Braveheart.

    So, yeah, it’s a death threat.

  94. 94.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @Mike in NC: I hope he ends up in jail. I hope they all do, but I particularly hope Pruitt does. I’m really damn sick of foxes being put in charge of hen houses, and even a fox has more decency than Pruitt. Nobody should be allowed to get away with his kind of deliberate bad faith mismanagement. I want him made into an example, pour encourager les autres.

  95. 95.

    Matt Smith

    Crime of the Century

    You’ve got me fantasizing about a world where this incident is the worst thing on anyone’s radar. Sigh.

  96. 96.

    zhena gogolia

    @Ohio Mom:

    Yes, this is so annoying! There are never any chewed/clawed-through carpets or hanging strips of wallpaper either.

  97. 97.

    Gravenstone

    @geg6:

    but Lovey, being Lovey, couldn’t have given less of a shit.

    Actually, guessing she gave rather more shit. At least briefly.

  99. 99.

    Brachiator

    @TenguPhule:

    Not sure which is worse. That he produced that contract or that she signed it of her own free will.

    I note in passing the general hypocrisy of conservatives, who are as kinky as everybody else, but like to pretend that they have sex just the way the Baby Jesus wants it done. Otherwise, I got no problems with whatever, or even the woman signing the contract. However, she clearly felt that this stuff was play, and did not give up her ability to say no, while the other dope had these fantasies that he was actually getting a slave who would surrender her will to his desires. This part is not just kinky, it’s one step removed from a sex predator abducting a woman.

  100. 100.

    MoxieM

    @? Martin: I have a picture of a puppy covered in flour … that wasn’t so bad, the truly awful part was the brown sugar: mixed with slobber it hardens to a version of cement! Doggo looks totally innocent, however, despite being a coal-black Newfer covered from head to toe in bread flour.

    It taught me to keep my baking supplies higher up. In the end, I thought I needed a kitchen that was made entirely out of bear-protecting hoisted materials. My vet (who had a couple of Newf-X’s) had dogs who figured out the refrigerator door. She had to put a chain and lock on it.

  101. 101.

    Jeffro

    @Mike in NC: Last I saw, Trumpov was even considering Pruitt to replace Sessions (probably while still keeping his old EPA job, Mulvaney-style) LOL

    By the time they take him out in cuffs, Orange Crash is going to have his last three remaining loyalists covering 13 cabinet departments and a tank brigade. It’s ridiculous. You’d think such a ‘stable genius’ would have all kinds of talented people dying to work for him…

  102. 102.

    The Moar You Know

    DHS wants to compile a list of journalists and “media influencers.”

    Sounds legit…

    @chris: Just went and read the statement of work. Bidding closes in one week. This massive…thing that they want is, per the SOW, supposed to be ready to go in five days after award.

    What that means: It’s already been built by someone, they’ve negotiated a price, and it is about to go live.

  104. 104.

    germy

    For the second year in a row, President Trump will skip the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.

    Margaret Talev, White House Correspondents Association president, said in a statement Friday that Trump is sitting out the event but “actively encourag[ing] members of the executive branch to attend and join us as we celebrate the First Amendment.” That’s a change from last year when the administration boycotted the dinner.

  106. 106.

    germy

    "Aren't most people who sell drugs African American?"

    – Bernie Sanders. Civil rights Icon who taught MLK to march pic.twitter.com/Xf3B6ftvsM

    — T. Fisher King (@T_FisherKing) April 6, 2018

    1. Said the Black south "distorted the primary race" 2. Said most drug dealers are Black 3. Said Obama was a failure 4. Wanted Democrats to primary Obama 5. Says Trump voters aren't racist …but they think he's gonna win the Black vote in 2020 ???— Marcus H. Johnson (@marcushjohnson) April 6, 2018

  107. 107.

    Mary G

    For that face, I donated. Good front pager!

    Everyone’s stories about pets taking advantage of unattended food cracked me up. My cures two cats are uninterested in human food, except for tuna, but they did get into the lower cabinet I had catnip and toys in, and I came out one morning to find wrappers chewed open, toys strewn all over the house, and red-eyed, groggy cats peering at me from the cupboards they had been inspecting.

  108. 108.

    efgoldman

    @germy:

    Bernie Sanders. Civil rights Icon who taught MLK to march

    Quoting myself from the wee small hours:
    “Shut the fuck up and go the fuck away, Wilmer”
    I’ve got to think his fund raising prowess is waning.
    Unless he’s receiving rubles.

  110. 110.

    Mnemosyne

    @Patricia Kayden:

    Actually, she probably insisted on having the agreement in writing and was smart to do so. If you’re into that BDSM stuff, it’s the best way to protect yourself and your partner(s).

    It ain’t my thing, but I applaud her for thinking ahead to try and keep herself safe. Just don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses. ?

  111. 111.

    No Drought No More

    Post a reminder on your refrigerator: “Beware of Dogs”. Because the next thing you know, they’ll figure out doorknobs and car keys. Are you a gun owner?

    It can’t just be me. Donald Trump looks increasingly haggard lately, isn’t he? His countenance is melting like Dorian Gray’s portrait before our very eyes (“Trump and Gray, hip hip, hooray”). Trump’s conscience- or rather, his agonizing fear at what his future holds- is playing hell on his guilt ravaged face, and it couldn’t happen to a sicker fuck.. Even better, given that I can discern as much from a continent away, imagine how the contemptible shit actually feels, living as he does in full knowledge that his bad deeds will soon be exposed, and no power on earth can stop it from happening at this point.

    He’s a president of the United States, and I have more respect for the population of San Quentin than I do for him. But the American people will right the ship of state, of that I’m confident. In fact, if you’re inclined to squint a certain way, I’d say we’ve already begun.

  115. 115.

    Mnemosyne

    @germy:

    More Black and brown people are sent to jail for selling drugs. You know, the exact problem they were trying to discuss with him … ?

  116. 116.

    woodrowfan

    @Mel: I had a Dachshund-something mix in grad school that would do that to my girlfriend’s panties if she left them lying about. When I moved to DC my folks adopted her. I never warned my parents about her habit, because, HOW?

  117. 117.

    dmsilev

    Huh. TPM:

    Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-TX) abruptly resigned Friday afternoon, listing his legislative accomplishments and saying that he knows “in his heart that it is time to move along.”

    That’s the entirety of the story and is not excerpted. I guess the only question is “live boy or dead girl?”.

  118. 118.

    JPL

    FYI, Fahrenthold finally took the hint and resigned. Maybe the House pushed him out, in order to show that they are concerned about ethics.

    hahahaha
    I’ll believe that when they have hearings about Pruitt’s behavior.

  119. 119.

    Mnemosyne

    @zhena gogolia:

    Don’t worry, he’ll go back into his rant about how Hillary is worse than LBJ because she voted for the Iraq War.

    I have no patience for people like NDNM who could have stopped that war in its tracks by voting for John Kerry in 2004 but refused to do so, and who now pat themselves on the backs for their “principled” decision to allow Bush to keep killing hundreds of thousands of people.

  120. 120.

    Brachiator

    @trollhattan:

    Yet another Republican media opinionator gay-threatens a Parkland teen….

    The hell is wrong with these people?

    The can’t help themselves. They are used to mocking and attacking “liberals.” They lost any sense of decency which might lead them to treat the Parkland teens as human beings.

  122. 122.

    catclub

    @dmsilev:

    I guess the only question is “live boy or dead girl?”.

    and the reasonable answer is “Why not both?”

  123. 123.

    ? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?

    @Brachiator:
    I also think they can’t handle getting a taste of their own medicine so they resort to threats of physical violence.

  125. 125.

    efgoldman

    @dmsilev:

    I guess the only question is “live boy or dead girl?”.

    Occam says RWNJ polling is scaring the shit out of them

  129. 129.

    dmsilev

    @efgoldman: Well, he already wasn’t running for reelection (that whole “settled sexual harassment claim using taxpayer money” thing was a bit much even by the lax standards of the GOP), but he had previously planned on finishing out the term, so something changed.

  131. 131.

    efgoldman

    @JPL:

    They are scared the death of Trump, and that concerns me.

    If they get wiped out in a blue wave in November, it doesn’t matter who they fear or whether they’re more loyal to Weasel Face, the party, or (hahaha) the country.

  134. 134.

    Ruckus

    @Jeffro:

    You’d think such a ‘stable genius’ would have all kinds of talented people dying to work for him…

    You always come up with the best outcomes for the people “working” for the shitgibbon.

  136. 136.

    Aleta

    @dmsilev: “so something changed.”

    A week or so ago Congresswoman Speier began to call out Paul Ryan more publicly? (To take responsibility to get the debt paid back)

  138. 138.

    FlipYrWhig

    @Mnemosyne: And in both cases it’s a just-barely-concealed euphemism for, with apology for slurs that aren’t my actual thinking, “he’s such a fag he’d probably enjoy it.”

  139. 139.

    TenguPhule

    @efgoldman:

    If they get wiped out in a blue wave in November, it doesn’t matter who they fear or whether they’re more loyal to Weasel Face, the party, or (hahaha) the country.

    We are talking about Nazis by any other name.

    Electoral losses didn’t stop them as I recall, just slowed them down.

  140. 140.

    JPL

    @Joeg: Decades ago, my first Golden took two packages of hamburger meat off the counter. I found the wrapper and backing from one, but the second was completely gone. She was banished from my sight for the rest of the day. That evening when I climbed into bed, she became quite upset. It appears that she hid the second package under my pillow. There wasn’t even a puncture wound in the wrapper.

  141. 141.

    efgoldman

    @Ruckus:

    You always come up with the best outcomes for the people “working” for the shitgibbon.

    The best outcomes involve guilty verdicts

  142. 142.

    chris

    The answer to my question is no.

    Farenthold initially said he would not seek reelection in December after coming under fire for using an Office of Compliance account to pay his accuser. It’s unclear whether he has made good on his promise to pay back the $84,000, but a statement from the National Republican Congressional Committee indicates he has not. Source.

  145. 145.

    efgoldman

    @TenguPhule:

    Electoral losses didn’t stop them as I recall

    If you really believe that’s likely, you long since should have followed your own advice and taken an arsenal into the woods.
    Or more likely, you’ve always been a bloodthirsty big talker.

  147. 147.

    TenguPhule

    @efgoldman: In 2010 they came back with the same old bullshit and the public bought it again, after the Democrats had effectively moved heaven and earth to save their economy and give them better healthcare.

    Evil only has to win once.

    ETA: Also I’m on an island in the middle of the ocean. Its kinda pointless to even try to go off grid here. And I can’t afford to move to any place better.

  148. 148.

    Fair Economist

    @Roger Moore:

    My cat must be unusually well behaved. I can leave out a bag of treats and he never tries to open it.

    You may actually have an alien spy masquerading as a cat.

  149. 149.

    Catherine D.

    Thanks for the good wishes for my dog in the last thread. There were no obvious signs of pain or abnormality, so we’re hoping I just caught a UTI early and will treat it as such.

    Loony dog in action

  152. 152.

    TenguPhule

    ‘Tired of being told no,’ Trump freezes out chief of staff

    Emboldened in his job, Trump has rebelled against Kelly’s restrictions and mused about doing away with the chief of staff post entirely. It’s all leading White House staffers and Trump allies to believe that Kelly is working on borrowed time.

    In recent weeks, Trump has governed at breakneck pace, ousting aides and issuing surprise policy announcements on Twitter, recreating the helter-skelter feel of his first months in office. Kelly’s allies maintain that his retreat is strategic. They suggest that the belief that Kelly was Trump’s savior was an overstated idea all along and that the chief of staff is now content to loosen the reins and allow an increasingly comfortable president to govern from his gut.

    But those close to the president say that Trump has increasingly expressed fatigue at Kelly’s attempts to shackle him and that while Trump is not ready to fire Kelly, he has begun gradually freezing out his top aide.

    Trump recently told one confidant that he was “tired of being told no” by Kelly and has instead chosen to simply not tell Kelly things at all, according to a person who was not authorized to publicly discuss private conversations and spoke on condition of anonymity.

    Well that appointment certainly worked out well, didn’t it? //s

  154. 154.

    ruemara

    @Mnemosyne: Exactly. This was consensual. He took it to mean literal. The bottom is the leader in a BDSM relationship because they set the limits. Screw that guy for making it a horror show.

    I find this thread topical as the little dolls at home are making me research baby-proofing kits for the cabinets. & time to re-order the Sscat refill.

  155. 155.

    MomSense

    I think my mom has been giving my dog kitchen scraps. I’ve already taken the dog out about 10 times in the last hour and she’s whining at me again.

    I cannot seem to impress upon my mom that my dog is not actually hungry. She just makes that face because she knows it works.

    It’s snowing.

  156. 156.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @woodrowfan:

    I never warned my parents about her habit, because, HOW?

    “Mom, Dad, I, uh, think there’s something you should know about Fluffy…”

  157. 157.

    efgoldman

    @dmsilev:

    There’s a difference?

    My daughter is convinced her cat grew opposable thumbs that he’s managed to hide for nine years.

  160. 160.

    trollhattan

    @Fair Economist:

    You may actually have an alien spy masquerading as a cat.

    Are they not acknowledged as basically the same?

    ETA D’oh, beaten way upthread!

  161. 161.

    TenguPhule

    @efgoldman:

    My daughter is convinced her cat grew opposable thumbs that he’s managed to hide for nine years.

    Did you check just to make sure?

  162. 162.

    dmsilev

    @Gravenstone:

    You’ve seen his “pajamas” pic, haven’t you?

    Yes. However, the doctors are optimistic that I may someday make a full recovery.

  163. 163.

    trollhattan

    @TenguPhule:
    So much winning.

    The tales of Nixon’s last several weeks appalled as they came out, since things were worse than we’d dare imagine. Daring the fates I ask, how is this possible with Trump?

  165. 165.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @Ruckus: I’m not blaming him at all. I just think it’s funny to imagine the poor guy trying to find the right way to say it.

  168. 168.

    Aleta

    @chris: A little more weasel-y information from around 10 days ago (quotes from Huff Post March 27 and from a Texas affiliate of USA Today)

    Although last year Farenthold said he would soon “hand a check” for the amount to Ryan, he later reversed course, saying a law governing congressmembers’ conduct appeared to preclude him from doing so.

    “On advice of counsel, Congressman Farenthold is waiting to see what changes the House makes to the Congressional Accountability Act before repaying the funds,” the lawmaker’s office said earlier this year.

    Speier … says that while an ongoing House Ethics Committee probe into his office is important, it’s not relevant to the $84,000 he vowed to pay back “for which taxpayers have already been on the hook.”

    “I urge you to make sure that Congressman Farenthold keeps his promise to the American people and reimburses the U.S. Treasury immediately for the full amount of the settlement,” Speier wrote in a March 15 letter to Ryan.

    (The letter was private until March 27 when someone gave it to the Huff Post. I think Speier also said something out loud about Ryan, more recently.)

  169. 169.

    Barbara

    @Chris: In the last two weeks my dog has eaten a bag of caramels and a bag of beef jerky. She can jump onto the counter. I keep telling everyone to put their food where she can’t get it but noooooooobody listens.

  170. 170.

    efgoldman

    @trollhattan:

    Daring the fates I ask, how is this possible with Trump?

    Tricksie, for all his many, many faults, was an extremely smart guy, a lawyer, and an excellent, experienced politician.
    He was not a four year old in a 70 year old body. He lied plenty (as did those who spoke for him) but he did so consciously and with (bad) purpose.
    Nixon was a tragedy. Weasel Face is beyond farce.

  173. 173.

    Ridnik Chrome

    @trollhattan:

    The tales of Nixon’s last several weeks appalled as they came out…

    My favorite was Nixon, in tears and probably also drunk, asking Henry Kissinger to get down on his knees and pray with him. I’d like to see the Orange Fool top that one.

  174. 174.

    TenguPhule

    @Barbara:

    I keep telling everyone to put their food where she can’t get it but noooooooobody listens.

    That will stop being funny the first time someone leaves some chocolate out.

    Better discipline may be required.

  177. 177.

    Barbara

    @Mel: My little dog also has a panty crotch fetish. We put the basket in the bathtub where she won’t go for psychological reasons.

  178. 178.

    Bemused senior

    @geg6: my beloved Toro did that too. I still have night gowns with holes he chewed out. I can’t stand to throw them away because they remind me of him.

  184. 184.

    Mary G

    After CNN or Fox put up an actual clock measuring the time it took Hillary to disown Harvey Weinstein, and Democrats everywhere had given his sperm-infused money to charity as soon as they could don the latex gloves, it’s telling that the Republican party kept every cent Steve Wynn donated and this guy’s sorry/not sorry the 84K is leaving with him.

  185. 185.

    debbie

    @TenguPhule:

    He’s lost the .7% in his 40.7% approval rating (per 538). Good. I hope his increasing emboldenedness only hurries the decline. I want to see Trump humiliated by fear and uncertainty.

  186. 186.

    bystander

    Just read that Susan Anspach, best known for Five Easy Pieces, has passed away. Anspach was the second Sheila in Hair off Broadway as well.

  188. 188.

    Aleta

    @debbie:

    John Bardis, a top HHS official who signed off on ex-Secretary Tom Price’s charter jet flights, is resigning effective April 6, the agency confirmed Thursday.

    The health care entrepreneur and longtime friend of Price’s from Georgia served as HHS assistant secretary of administration since March 2017 and was responsible for departmental operations. He also helped oversee the ReImagine HHS project, an initiative to overhaul the agency and cut costs.

    Bardis’ office has been the focus of a probe about whether Price’s use of charter-jet flights for routine domestic travel — which cost more than $400,000 — complied with federal regulations. The HHS inspector general’s office, which is conducting the probe, told POLITICO that the final report is expected later this spring.

    Deputy Secretary Eric Hargan, in a statement, said Bardis was “a truly transformative leader, and HHS has benefited greatly from his dedicated work over the past year.”
    -Politico
    ha ha “more than $400,000”

  190. 190.

    Jay

    @ruemara:

    In a proper BDSM relationship, both the top and the bottom, or the switches, if that’s the dynamics, set boundaries. If they have half a brain, they write everything up in a contract, and get it witnessed.

    As the relationship changes over time, the contracts are amended.

  191. 191.

    Mary G

    Good Dog Almighty, J.Edgar’s born again:

    The U.S. Department of Homeland Security wants to monitor hundreds of thousands of news sources around the world

    and compile a database of journalists, editors, foreign correspondents, and bloggers to identify top “media influencers.” (from big lThe U.S. Department of Homeland Security wants to monitor hundreds of thousands of news sources around the world and compile a database of journalists, editors, foreign correspondents, and bloggers to identify top “media influencers.”(from biglawbusiness.com, whoever they are.)

    Facebook’s probably started and can deliver on Monday, but this is NOT OK.

  193. 193.

    Brachiator

    @bystander:

    Just read that Susan Anspach, best known for Five Easy Pieces, has passed away. Anspach was the second Sheila in Hair off Broadway as well

    I recall thinking that she and Jack Nicholson had tremendous chemistry in that movie. And then years later, I read that they had an affair around the time of the movie’s production. A very interesting, talented actress.

    RIP.

  194. 194.

    Jay

    @Mary G:

    Maybe, maybe not.

    Friedman, ( Not the Moustache of Understanding, a different one), a so called “journalist”, ( yes, writes actual news articles once in a blue moon), created, ran and wrote, Manifort and Gate’s “Black Bag” disinfo ops against Western Media, ( in some cases, like Briebart, willing collusion), while working for a shadowy DC Company, that’s neither registered as a Lobbiest or an Agent of a Foreign Government.

    In theory, a database like that, would allow the US Government to:
    – detect foreign disinfo ops faster
    – identify willing and unknowing acessories to those ops
    – identify Lobbiests and Agents of a Foreign Government who are “skirting” or just ignoring the rules and regulations, much faster, forcing them to register.

    There’s actually more info, ( but even then, not much) on Friedman’s Linked In, than his Wiki.

  197. 197.

    Ruckus

    @Ridnik Chrome:
    What I was saying is maybe he didn’t want to tell them about the dog’s… proclivities, it’s revenge.
    Some families enjoy good pranks. This would seem to qualify.
    Also:
    Not everyone has good parents.
    And the corollary:
    Not everyone has good kids.

  198. 198.

    kate p

    I am part of a smallish animal rescue. A beautiful young lab showed up at the local dog pound and no one came to claim him. A wonderful couple adopted him and gave him a home for a few weeks but came to learn their home wasn’t working out. Bailey had some major separation anxiety. With their work schedule, he just wasn’t in the right place. They turned to our rescue to help find him a home that would better suit his needs. He was put on Petfinder and someone contacted us. She happened to work at a senior living facility that was looking for a dog to be a companion for everyone that lives there. She asked is Bailey could come for “an interview”. Sure , why not! Now this dog is an energetic youngster who we were not sure would fit the bill.
    Fast forward a few days, and he went to the senior center. It was like he was a movie star walking in. Everyone was so excited to meet Bailey. He greeted everyone with a calm cool demeanor – like he found his purpose. He was meant to be there for these people and their family. Bailey spent the weekend at the facility on a trial basis to see if he would work out. It has been a few weeks
    and it’s safe to say Bailey has found his forever home with a huge family and loving staff to take care of him. Once a boy who was nervous when left alone will never be alone again. He visits all the residents throughout the day, has a fenced in yard to play in, and will be loved. Now that he is comfortable his food drive is coming out. Last week he was walking around the facility with a box of Fig Newtons in his mouth. He found some old person’s stash. This week they are calling in a trainer since he has learned to open the mini-fridges in their rooms. They still love him though.

  201. 201.

    TenguPhule

    @zhena gogolia:

    So I don’t need professional help because I can’t get rid of the litter boxes for two cats who died in January?

    That depends, are they still full from prior deposits?

  207. 207.

    Mel

    @zhena gogolia: I did. He was the best dog ever – did therapy dog work with my students and also at a nursing home.

    The kids loved to brush him, and we would collect that long, silky Collie hair in a bag as the brush filled up. The kids brought me a copy of the book at Christmas time, and were going bananas waiting to see if the hair could really be made into something.

    There are spinners who will do their magic and turn the dog hair into gorgeous (non-dog smelling!) yarn. They did, I did, and Voila! Awesome scarf and beret!!

  209. 209.

    Aleta

    Roommate just came home today with a big bag of my dog’s hair. (When I remember, I ask the person who shaves him down (the dog not the roommate) to bag the hair so it doesn’t go to the landfill.) He doesn’t shed, so it gets real long in the winter.

    I was thinking of putting it down across where the beavers have land trails, to see if it stops them from eating the fruit trees this year. Or I could put it out for birds’ nests, but I’m not sure if they would take hair from a canid. Or send it to the next oil spill.

    Having it knitted sounds interesting.

  210. 210.

    Mel

    @Aleta: Birds will definitely welcome it for use in their nests! Thst’s what we were originally doing with the bags of Collie hair.

  213. 213.

    Alexi

    My dad’s bichon frise stole and hid several jelly doughnuts. I followed a trail of powdered sugar to find them buried in the laundry basket. Thank goodness, because it would have been an unimaginable mess to throw jelly doughnuts in the washer with the shirts. It was bad enough getting the jelly off the white dog. He’s such a brat.

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