A Nova Scotia man says he was young and immature and generally unaware of the aggressive nature of West Coast seagulls when he left a suitcase of pepperoni near an open hotel window. https://t.co/VTrbaMVvK9
— CTV Vancouver (@CTVVancouver) April 2, 2018
Seagulls, dude…
A Nova Scotia man banned from Victoria’s stately Fairmont Empress hotel is welcome back after apologizing for an incident more than 17 years ago in which seagulls hungry for pepperoni trashed his room in a rock star frenzy.,,
“I remember walking down the long hall and opening the door to my room to find an entire flock of seagulls in my room,” stated Burchill’s letter. “I didn’t have time to count, but there must have been 40 of them and they had been in my room, eating pepperoni for a long time.”
He said he startled the gorging birds, which is when things really got out of control.
“They immediately started flying around and crashing into things as they desperately tried to leave the room through the small opening by which they had entered,” said Burchill. “The result was a tornado of seagull excrement, feathers, pepperoni chunks and fairly large birds whipping around the room.”
Tracey Drake, the hotel’s public relations director, said Monday there were thoughts this was an April Fools’ Day prank, but a check of the records and Burchill’s appearance at the front desk last weekend confirmed the seagull story and the former guest’s permanent ban…
“The hotel followed up with his employer afterwards, saying he’s not welcome back at the hotel due to the damage in the room,” Drake said. “He’s correct. The lamps were broken. The room was trashed. It’s a really funny story to tell 17 years later, but I was sitting here thinking about the housekeeper and what her first reaction must have been when she opened that door.”…
The letter he sent to the Empress and posted on Facebook explained how his plan to bring spicy Nova Scotia pepperoni to Victoria to share with friends stationed at the West Coast naval base went astray when he decided to cool the meat near the window because his room didn’t have a fridge.
Drake said the damage to the room was beyond description, but all is forgiven and Burchill is back on the guest list…
Surely there’s a Trumplodyte joke lurking in there somewhere?
trollhattan
Seagulls are better dressed crows. Vermin, I tells you! Also, too, “high tea” at the Empress is an overpriced bauble for Americans but otherwise the place is quite nice. So is the city.
jl
@trollhattan: I remember ‘high tea’ when visiting with my family way back when I was a youngin’. I was very impressed.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I”d heard this story but I hadn’t heard that it was at the Fairmont, that makes it even funnier.
I stayed at the sister hotel in Banff once. Someday I’ll get back there….
Major Major Major Major
I took a pretty picture!
Now I’m at Nara Park, the one with the tame deer.
Fair Economist
So after the flock of seagulls trashed the room, and the hotel required that he ran – he ran so far away?
Walker
Obligatory:
Yoda warns about seagulls
Major Major Major Major
@Fair Economist: boooo
Ben Cisco
@Fair Economist: BWAHAAHAA
danielx
Well, yes, this does sound like a shitgibbon policy initiative.
Doug R
As a resident of Victoria/Saanich from grade 1 to 8, we never visited the Empress. However, I am well aware of Victoria seagulls and their “target practice”. We tell the tourists it’s good luck.
A suitcase of pepperoni? Surprised a couple of gulls didn’t carry it off whole.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
It’s like GG’s account was hacked by someone doing a bad parody of GG
danielx
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
if this happens, it will be proof positive that we have truly gone through the rabbit hole and down the looking glass.
Yeah, I know, as if any more such proof was needed.
Duane
The seagulls trash the Empress Hotel, Trump trashes the White House. Seems pretty straightforward. I’ll take the seagulls.
Yarrow
@Fair Economist:
He walked along the avenue
He never thought he’d meet a gull like you
Suzanne
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: I like Bharara’s response. Quite on point.
So there was a fire at Trump Tower today, and a man died. The Shitgibbon tweeted about the building being “very well built” or some shit. If y’all didn’t know, it’s thanks to the regulatory state that the fire didn’t become more of a disaster. Buildings have a fire resistance rating as a function of size and occupancy, and Trump Tower is assuredly a Type 1A building, which means 3 hours of fire protection on the primary structural frame. I doubt very seriously that the building is any better or worse built than any other building of its era. It does appear that the building is not fully sprinkled. That is some slumlord shit right there.
Bruuuuce
@Suzanne:
Just like his daddy. Including the racism. As a reminder, Woody Guthrie despised Fred, for good reason.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major:
Beautiful photo. How long will you be in Japan for?
Major Major Major Major
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Suzanne: what a sad life GG must live.
rikyrah
@Suzanne:
Man’s family should sue sue sue.
Another Scott
@Suzanne: Someone in an earlier thread posted some comment that the TT should have had sprinklers in the residential units by 1979…
Cheers,
Scott.
NotMax
What, no anchovies?
In a perfect world, the banished’s name would have been Jonathan Livingston.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major:
Well, he does live in a gated community in Brazil and shills for V. Putin for a living now.
Suzanne
@rikyrah: That would be tough to sue for. Most buildings aren’t required by code to be sprinkled, though there are advantages in the building code for doing so, and the insurers typically want sprinklers. Many older buildings don’t have them, though they are typically done as a matter of course in most buildings today. Buildings are subject to the code in place when they were built or renovated, not the current code. What is telling, though, is that the upper floors of Trump Tower are not sprinkled, though I read that Shitgibbon’s personal apartment and some of the floors below are sprinkled (I haven’t verified that).
NotMax
@Suzanne
Sprinklered. Dolt 45 is the one who was supposedly thoroughly sprinkled.
;)
Suzanne
@Another Scott: Fire sprinklers were not that common in the US even into the 90s. Most building owners who don’t suck have been retrofitting ever since. TT apparently doesn’t have sprinklers on any of the residential floors. I heard it reported that Trump’s apartment had them, but I haven’t heard that anywhere else.
Suzanne
@NotMax: Sorry…..I am typing on my iPad and I apparently hadn’t taught it the word “sprinklered” yet and DYAC and I didn’t notice.
Yep, just tested it, and I have now taught it that “sprinklered” is a word.
M. Bouffant
@jl: Me too. Took the Princess Marguerite car ferry from Seattle to Victoria once.
Major Major Major Major
@? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?: thanks! I come back on the 22nd.
Fair Economist
@Suzanne: California has recently started requiring sprinklers on all new and most renovated residential construction but as you say, this shift is new. The reports I’ve seen on Trump Tower are also as you surmised; there was no requirement for sprinklers when it was built; since then they are required for major renovations but TT hasn’t had that.
Suzanne
@Fair Economist: Most insurance companies will give the building owner a substantial break in premiums if sprinklers are installed, but that is some pretty difficult construction in buildings of that height. It takes a lot of pumping power to lift water vertically 60+ stories.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major:
Wow, that’s like 2 weeks from now. Is it a vacation or apart of some business trip?
If you don’t mind my asking that is.
NotMax
@Suzanne
Took advantage of it to allude to a certain suspected occurrence involving young Russian hotties.
:)
NotMax
@Suzanne
Plus it is not simply the same potable water supply as in the rest of the structure but water mixed with some oil sitting in those pipes, to retard/prevent the sprinkler mechanisms from rusting.
Major Major Major Major
@? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?: vacation :)
Much of Asia, including japan, is pretty affordable once you get there. Even Japan is fine if you use Airbnb, but keep in mind that’s coming from somebody who’s used to the most expensive city in America.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Suzanne: @NotMax:
In that case wouldn’t buildings of a certain height have a water supply for the sprinkler systems in the upper floors on the roof?
NotMax
@Suzanne
He lies about that too. The building by any normal measure is about 58 stories.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
applause– way to tie it all together. Only thing missing is Flock of Seagulls reference, and for all anybody knows, there’s a perfect song on their album but all anyone’s ever heard is I Ran (I Ran So Far Away)
Major Major Major Major
I also bought a book of animal prints by the old master Kuniyoshi so I’m looking forward to getting a couple of those matted.
Suzanne
@? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?: Some do, but a big ass water tank weighs a lot and would require extensive structural work. Also difficult construction. And it would still need pumps to feed it.
NotMax
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Not at all necessarily. Water is damn heavy (lifting up a full jerry can is sufficient to learn that), and a separate static (non-flowing under normal circumstances) storage supply would be subject to freezing in winter. Also, for very tall structures, they are designed to sway in winds so it would require some sort of very expensive gyroscopically controlled storage unit to keep the water from sloshing about.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Major Major Major Major: As I mentioned last night, Madame’s mother grew up in Nara.
Suzanne
@NotMax: Some tall buildings purposely put a weight close to the top in order to reduce sway—called a tuned mass damper.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Suzanne: @NotMax:
What do modern very tall buildings do then as a solution?
As you can tell, IANAA.
Fair Economist
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
I liked Flock of Seagulls and they did indeed have several other catch songs. It’s a little hard finding one to refer to the Trump Tower fire, though. Maybe these lyrics from this song touch on the general issue of dealing with Republicans:
It’s a stretch, though.
P.S. Holy moly, those early ’80s videos are strange. How did I not notice?
Roger Moore
@trollhattan:
That’s a vile insult to crows. Crows are among the most intelligent of birds, which nobody would ever accuse seagulls of being.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major:
That sounds cool. The longest vacation I’ve ever been on is a week and the only country I’ve ever visited is Canada so 2 weeks sounds like a long time to me.
Major Major Major Major
@BillinGlendaleCA: cool. (Didn’t remember, I was pretty out of it last night)
@? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?: it is; I have a lot of vacation days. And you should get around more, young man! Even within the US, too much to see.
NotMax
@Suzanne
Yes indeed. Anyone who has carried a basin of water across a room is familiar with the behavior (and changeable weight distribution) of water once it begins moving back and forth.
Trivia: The reason so many tenement buildings in Manhattan were built no more than 5 stories tall was because that was about the maximum height which the pressure of the municipal water supply could push water.
Amir Khalid
@Suzanne:
There’s a former tallest-building-in-the-world — in earthquake-prone Taipei, I think — whose main design feature was an internal pendulum many storeys high, with a ginormous metal ball at the end to dampen vibration from seismic activity. I’ve always wondered if it was sensible to build something so tall in an earthquake-prone area in the first place.
Anne Laurie
@trollhattan:
Crow libel! The preferred term, here on the East Coast at least, is “maritime pigeons” — pigeons being universally considered “rats with wings”.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
Sloshing is only a problem if there’s space for the water to slosh around in, i.e. if you keep the tank half full for some reason. If the tank is as close to full as practical, there will be minimal space for the water to move around in and hence minimal sloshing.
Aleta
-from NYT abt the Trump Tower fire
Anne Laurie
@Suzanne:
There’s supposed to be a tuned-mass damper in the 60-story (actually 63-story) John Hancock Tower in Boston. I was an office drone in that building for 15 years and management (of both the insurance company and the building itself) were incredibly secretive about details. But it was generally understood, correctly or not, that MIT supervised a retrofit which solved the notorious “upper-story window panes popping loose and crashing down on the plaza below” problem…
NotMax
@Amir Khalid
Also the installation of what are for all intents and purposes gigantic shock absorbers between the bedrock and the bulding’s superstructure.
Major Major Major Major
@Amir Khalid:
Seems to be working pretty well for Japan.
Amir Khalid
@NotMax:
I think the Petronas Towers have those too, and KL isn’t in an earthquake zone.
Roger Moore
@NotMax:
I think there are a bunch of reasons why 5-6 stories winds up being a maximum height. Brick buildings- and most of those tenements were brick- have mechanical problems when they start getting taller than that because the bricks just aren’t that strong. It also becomes impractical to do without an elevator if you want to build a building taller than that; plenty of people would say a 5th floor walk-up is too much. So by the time you start getting higher than about 5 stories, you get into increased construction costs for a whole host of reasons, and you aren’t going to build a low rent tenement using expensive construction methods.
Fair Economist
@Major Major Major Major:
The Taipei 101 (1667 feet) is quite a bit taller than the tallest building in Japan (984 feet).
Aleta
This (from the Toronto Star) describes the communities and long bus travel to games of young Canadian hockey players.
Major Major Major Major
@Fair Economist: I was merely thinking of an earthquake prone place with lots of tall buildings which I happen to be in. I interpreted Amir as referring to skyscrapers in general.
NotMax
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
Was hoping the real architect would chime in. The short answer is twofold.
Pumps (or more accurately, series of pumps), and also smaller internal storage tanks that gravity feed to floors below them. In that case, sensors switch on the appropriate pumps to refill the tanks when they detect the water level dropping. IIRC, that’s the system originally installed and still in use in the Empire State Building.
dog worrier
Lurked for years, never commented, but there are so many animal lovers on here that it seems like the best place to get advice right now.
My neighbors (college kids) left their black lab out in the backyard and the temperatures have dipped below freezing tonight. They’re not home, probably out partying. The dog barked for several hours, was quiet for awhile, and now has been plaintively yelping. Called the police at 10pm but they didn’t do anything. I’m in a western Kentucky city with lax animal cruelty laws. Now it’s 1:48am and can’t sleep since I’m worried about the dog’s safety. Following up with the police isn’t an option.
Do you think the dog might die? Since it’s a pretty large and fat dog, do you think it has a reasonable shot at making it through the night? It was probably an honest mistake since 30-33 temps are super unusual for April here. They have a tall backyard fence so I can’t see the dog. Is there anything I could toss over to help the dog, or would that cause more harm than good? I don’t want to spark a neighbor war like Rand Paul, just really anxious about the dog’s safety.
NotMax
@Roger Moore
Across the street from the Tenement Museum in NYC is a 19th century brick row house (either 4 or 5 stories, can’t recall which). Atop it now, on the roof, is an ultra-modernist 2-story house, all glossy white walls and glass.
Imagine the engineering tolerances for that addition were pretty tight.
Major Major Major Major
@NotMax: I saw that last summer!
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@NotMax:
I thought that’s what it would be: smaller storage tanks on or between floors with pumps.
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major:
I would but vacations cost money.
Major Major Major Major
@? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?: well you don’t have to do it this second.
Just one more canuck
@Doug R: I grew up in Victoria (high school at Spectrum, went to UVic), living there until I moved to Toronto for work
? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?
@Major Major Major Major: Oh I know dude. I plan on going plenty of vacations later on.
opiejeanne
I have a chorus of froggies singing me to sleep tonight. There must be a lot of them from how loud they are.
Aleta
I propose ejection and a lifetime ban for these foul visitors:
Did anyone point out the relevance of their numerous lies when Tysver said this:
mai naem mobile
Arizona with its shitty regulatory structure requires sprinklers in residences over 5000 sq. ft. I think the rule is not that terribly old. Keep in mind most residences in AZ would be 1 or 2 story at most. I wonder how the rules work in such a multi unit high rise. What about just regular smoke alarms, forget fire sprinklers? Are those maintained by the building or the individual unit owners?
Major Major Major Major
Guy with a bunch of tattoos just drove by in a Lamborghini ?
Corner Stone
@Major Major Major Major: Maybe it’s his dad’s.
BillinGlendaleCA
@opiejeanne: The volume seems to be conflicting with the sleep thing.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Corner Stone: Probably not, the yoots have money too.
Major Major Major Major
@BillinGlendaleCA: @Corner Stone: Only a certain… class of Japanese youth is known for tattoo sleeves.
BillinGlendaleCA
@Major Major Major Major: I know that was true in the past, wouldn’t be too sure if that’s still the case.
OT: I have to be up for a shoot in 8 hours, I’m not tired. Why did I do the snuggle time with the girls?
opiejeanne
@BillinGlendaleCA: I’m getting very sleepy now.
EBT
The hard part about writing a short story every week is coming up with new ideas.
And I need to come up with some extras too, so I can just copy paste when the time is right in the next couple weeks while I won’t have a keyboard to access.
Major Major Major Major
@opiejeanne: reading a bushy Hideki chapter?
@BillinGlendaleCA: I believe it’s still partly the case especially in Osaka.
mainmata
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: LMAO
mainmata
@Suzanne: But that would appear to suggest that, in such tall buildings, no one above a certain floor has any drinking, bathing/toilet or other kind of water supply either. (???)
Starfish
@dog worrier: This is terrible. Can you open the gate and borrow their dog for the evening?
satby
@dog worrier: I would probably go get the dog too. But it’s been a couple of hours since you asked. I hope the poor thing is ok or that the stupid kids finally came home, though they were probably plastered when they finally did.
satby
@dog worrier: and let us know what happened, ok? Sorry that you didn’t get any timely response.
Boudica
So Trump Tower isn’t sprinklered and is grandfathered. But how about smoke alarms in every unit? And what’s the requirement for fire alarms going off to alert other residents?
Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)
@EBT: Coming up with a short story idea every week would leave me gibbering.
Ramalama
@Aleta: Wonder if there’s going to be a mass exodus of residents moving out of TT to some place more safe (a fire sale)? Can’t imagine rich people would put themselves in harm’s way like living in a building with no sprinklers.
Ohio Mom
@dog worrier: Sorry I can’t help you, the only things I know about dogs I learned on these threads. I hope someone pipes up soon for you. You might try emailing Anne Laurie directly, there is a How to Contact a Front Pager on the pull down menu on the masthead.
Anyway, welcome to non-lurkerdom. Stick around!
ETA: I see you got some responses as I was typing.
Frankensteinbeck
@Roger Moore:
I don’t know. Seagulls recently learned to pack hunt whales. Sounds pretty smart to me. Cruel, but smart.
zhena gogolia
@Fair Economist:
And I want some of those Tuned Mass Damper babies, dammit! They have this really cute logo and you can buy the souvenirs in the building but I’m never going to Taipei.
Barbara
You have to read that whole letter to get the true insanity of the situation, which included throwing one of his shoes out the window to get the last gull out, only barely missing people below, and then in an effort to dry the shoe he had to wash, blowing out the power in part of the hotel in an incident involving a hair dryer and sink.
Shell
So,it wasn’t a pepperoni pizza or some such, but a suitcase full of pepperoni? Was he smuggling some back to his land of origin, where Italian eats don’t exist?
Suzanne
@NotMax: More trivia: 75′ above grade to the highest occupied floor level (not the roof or other mechanical areas) is the definition of a high-rise.
@NotMax: Sorry, I fell asleep. Thread prolly dead. Yes, in modern high-rises, water for sprinklers and toilets and sinks, etc is pumped vertically like you said through a series of pumps and tanks. Easy to plan for in new construction, but difficult AF in a retrofit situation.
Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes
I stayed at the Fairmont in Winnipeg once. Very pleasant.
On the other front, it appears that daughter’s boyfriend had, in fact, been roofied. Probably Xanax, but possibly Rohypnol. They had accepted a drink from a stranger, intended for one of my daughters.
Jay Noble
Something I’ve taken as gospel about high rise and fires is that there aren’t any fire trucks that can reach anything higher than the 5th floor. Anything above that you were pretty much on your own.
dog worrier
Just an update on my comment: I knocked on the neighbor’s door this morning and the dog is fine. Not surprisingly for Kentucky, the owner doesn’t see a problem with leaving the dog in subfreezing weather, but he did say last night was an accident.
SWMBO
@dog worrier: Thanks for the update. I have been refreshing the thread all day hoping for good news.