Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Battle won, war still ongoing.

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Consistently wrong since 2002

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I was promised a recession.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / Ticking Poop Time Bomb Open Thread

Ticking Poop Time Bomb Open Thread

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(Tom Toles via GoComics.com)
.

At the Trump Occupancy, the bags of flaming dog poo are *inside* the house. From the Washington Post, “‘A bomb on Trump’s front porch’: FBI’s Cohen raids hit home for the president”:

President Trump has howled in all caps for nearly a year as the Justice Department has delved deeper and deeper into his orbit…

But the FBI’s seizure on Monday of privileged communications between Trump and his private lawyer, Michael D. Cohen — as well as documents related to a $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels, the adult-film actress who has alleged a sexual affair with Trump — was a particularly extraordinary move that opens a whole new front in the converging legal battles ensnaring the administration.

Cohen is Trump’s virtual vault — the keeper of his secrets, from his business deals to his personal affairs — and the executor of his wishes…

The president spent much of Monday afternoon glued to the television. Aides said Trump watched cable news coverage of surprise raids on Cohen’s Manhattan office, home and hotel room by FBI agents, who took the lawyer’s computer, phone and personal financial records after a referral from Mueller.

As the sun began to fall in Washington, Trump offered reporters his initial reaction: “It’s a disgraceful situation.”

“I have this witch hunt constantly going on,” Trump said. “That is a whole new level of unfairness,” he added, leaving no doubt that he views Monday’s actions as a personal affront. Trump called Cohen “a good man” and went on to criticize Attorney General Jeff Sessions, saying he had made “a very terrible mistake for the country” by recusing himself from the Russia probe.

Asked why he had not fired Mueller, Trump left the door open. “We’ll see what happens,” he told reporters. “Many people have said, ‘You should fire him,’ ” the president added…

“Many people have said” — such as?

Of course:

Oh, look who’s back in the press room!…

Reader Interactions

116Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    asking whether the POTUS will choose to go pantless for summer

    For the record, that would be a reasonable choice, and a far superior one to wearing a tan suit.

  3. 3.

    Sab

    I hope Michael Cohen was an early filer on taxes. If he is a procrastinator waiting until the deadline he is screwewd. The FBI has all his financial records! I don’t know why but this makes me happy.

  4. 4.

    SFAW

    @Baud:

    For the record, that would be a reasonable choice, and a far superior one to wearing a tan suit.

    Maybe a “superior” choice for YOU to do, but were Shitgibbon to do that, women would faint, grown men would cry, and children and animals would scream/howl.

    On the other hand, it might be “proof” that Leia did not actually kill Jabba.

  5. 5.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    Why is there a sidebar ad offering me a holster? One that doesn’t add an “unsightly bulge” to my outfit?

  6. 6.

    schrodingers_cat

    T is going to fire Mueller has been the refrain on this blog too for several FPers and commenters, since at least a year. It is tiresome in the extreme.

    ETA: Some on our side have adopted learned helplessness and panic as a response to almost anything.

  7. 7.

    germy

    Do y'know who introduced that "Red Line" he's about to cross?

    It was Maggie Haberman (and some other NYT reporter who's not as front-facing).

    They handed this "Red Line" to Trump. Fed it to him, in fact. You can find it on your own, but DM me if you want the transcript now.

    — Neokara Calavera (@KaraCalavera) April 11, 2018

  8. 8.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    I mean, I’ll be honest with you, I don’t have high regard for [Dershowitz]. And I think he should stay in the classroom and let real lawyers help the President.

    Robert Bennett

  10. 10.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    I notice he’s gone full “l’etat, c’est moi.” If he undermines the independent judiciary, law enforcement, free press, ethical standards, the State Department, etc, no problem. But an investigation into his personal crimes is an intolerable attack on America.

  11. 11.

    Amir Khalid

    @Baud:
    It’s a choice people could learn to live with, I guess, as long as the President doesn’t also choose to go underpantless.

  12. 12.

    schrodingers_cat

    In other news, my friend who applied for citizenship got her biometrics done last week, and there was no photo of the President in the USCIS office. So now she has to wait to get her date for the citizenship interview/test.

  13. 13.

    sdhays

    Is Glenn Thrush still around? I thought he had been defenestrated by the #MeToo movement.

  14. 14.

    PsiFighter37

    @JPL: The turd is either scared of losing his own seat or is quite certain the GOP is going to lose big in November. Or maybe both?

  15. 15.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    Drumpf is now telling people he wants to fire FBI Director Ray.

    If only someone had warned us that Drumpf was unfit and a criminal..

  21. 21.

    The Ancient Randonneur

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:
    He spent the entire campaign scoffing at due process for those accused of crimes, and now that he and his band of grifters, thieves and trumpsters are the subject of an investigation?

    I look forward to him ranting about mean old liberals chanting “lock him up”. Sad!

  25. 25.

    Frankensteinbeck

    Trump hosting Ryan, McCarthy, McConnell & Cornyn for dinner tomorrow night. To be a fly on the wall!

    One thing they will try to explain is that Mueller didn’t raid Cohen, isn’t the one investigating the evidence, and firing him is moot. Since this is about the RNC as much as anything, McConnell surely feels a noose around his neck and will have some twisted suggestion. Recent evidence suggests it may not be a good one, or even a possible one. If Cohen doesn’t have dirt on McConnell, expect him to shrug and tell Trump he’s fucked.

    @schrodingers_cat:
    To indulge in a moment of “I told you so”, I am enjoying watching my attitude of dismissal for the nonstop claims of Mueller firings spread. Of course, now that it has, irony demands that the firing will happen and the stopped clock will finally be right.

  26. 26.

    Peale

    @Amir Khalid: or stays seated behind his desk. yeah, the staff would know, but they knew what they signed up for when they took their appointments.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    Internet (but not cable) out for 7½ hours.

    Hands have just about stopped shaking now.

    :)

  29. 29.

    sdhays

    @germy: I’m no fan of Haberman, but do you really think this idea was “introduced” by a reporter asking about it? Mueller was appointed after Spanky had fired Comey; I really doubt that Spanky’s first thought on hearing that development (well, second thought after screaming “Rosensteeeeeiiiiiiiinnnnnnn”!!!!) wasn’t “how do I fire this guy?”. I think it’s more likely that she was asking about things she was hearing from people near the Preznit (or even from Spanky himself since apparently he calls her to dish all the time), since that’s pretty much all she’s good for anyway.

  31. 31.

    SFAW

    @Amir Khalid:

    as long as the President doesn’t also choose to go underpantless.

    And with that one phrase, you have removed yourself from the pantheon of “respected/beloved commenters.”

    And me without my brain bleach near at hand.

  32. 32.

    YellowDog

    “Many people have said, ‘You should fire him,’ ”

    That translates to the voices in his head, Hannity, Piro, Dobbs, and Fox and Friends (aka The Divan of Douches).

  33. 33.

    sdhays

    @Frankensteinbeck: The thing is, he DOES want to fire Mueller. There’s a report today that he moved to fire him in December, just as it was previously reported he tried to fire him back in July. He’s a pathetic dumb-dumb so as is often the case, he decides to do something stupid only to get talked out of it before it actually happens.

    But there’s no reason to believe that eventually he won’t get talked out of it, just as his basket of expendables in the Midwest are discovering with regard to tariffs…

  34. 34.

    SFAW

    @YellowDog:

    Fox and Friends (aka The Divan of Douches)

    Sofa of Scumbags? Davenport of Dickheads? Loveseat of Lyingmotherfuckers? Settee of SomethingelsethatstartswithanS?

  35. 35.

    satby

    The media in this country sucks donkey balls. Obviously.

    I just read an entire sports article talking about the abysmal attendance at the White Sox opening day, without a single mention that it was abnormally cold and the Cubs had cancelled their opening day rather than play in that weather. Evidently that mention wasn’t made because it would contradict the writer’s contention that MLB is on the way out. So let fact left out, nothing to see here, opinions much more important to impart than facts which could confuse the reader’s thinking.

  36. 36.

    ascap_scab

    Stormy Daniel’s may be the premise for raising Cohen, but let’s remember Cohen was also at the RNC running finance, so he could have a LOT of dirt on the entire Republican party.

  37. 37.

    magurakurin

    @PsiFighter37: I just saw that as well
    Ryan to retire
    If this is true, I reckon something really big and really horrible is about to drop. Cohen is going to flip and then the whole shithouse goes up in flames. It’s red pill time…Kansas is goin’ bye bye…

  40. 40.

    magurakurin

    @YellowDog: exactly. The Fox personalities are his cabinet. In my deepest acid head days, I never imagined a reality as twisted as Trump’s must actually be.

  43. 43.

    SFAW

    @magurakurin:

    If this is true, I reckon something really big and really horrible is about to drop.

    Maybe he thinks “President Ryan” won’t need to run for re-election this year? (Be interesting to see if his notepads have him doodling “President Ryan” inside a pink heart.)

  44. 44.

    dmsilev

    @magurakurin: Well, I can see two explanations. One is that yes, the shit is coming soon. The other is that Ryan knows that the odds of the Democrats taking the House are getting better every day and he’s too chickenshit to do what Nancy has done and run his caucus in the minority. From what I’ve seen of Ryan, my bet is Door #2.

  46. 46.

    bystander

    @PsiFighter37:

    The turd is either scared of losing his own seat or is quite certain the GOP is going to lose big in November. Or maybe both?

    In an Ayn Rand novel, Ryan’s move would signal the hero’s break with society in order to create his own identity, and he would feel free to lead an impeachment against the sitting POTUS. But I think the “turd” analysis is the one that actually obtains in this instance, and we can all look forward to seeing Ryan on the Wingnut Welfare bus.

  50. 50.

    Lapassionara

    @JPL: I saw that, but was not sure whether that meant he would not run for speaker again, or not run for his congressional seat.

  52. 52.

    magurakurin

    @dmsilev: sounds reasonable. But I suppose it could be a combo of both. One would follow the other. And it’s only Wednesday. This is turning out to be a long week…

  56. 56.

    sdhays

    @dmsilev: Just the other day, there was a report that Republicans are increasingly viewing the House as a lost cause and focusing exclusively on holding the line in the Senate.

  58. 58.

    JPL

    @magurakurin: Axios said a source told them the Comey interview is explosive and left people in the room stunned. Comey’s first interview will be at ten Sunday night with George Steph.

  59. 59.

    dmsilev

    @Lapassionara: The reports I’ve seen (now echoed throughout the media) is not running for reelection to Congress, period.

    Among other things, that’s going to make the House GOP even more fractious than its usual standards over the next six months or so, because its not like Ryan just enhanced what passes for his authority over his caucus.

  60. 60.

    SFAW

    @schrodingers_cat:

    I am, we had frost this meaning. Winter is getting old. Well, at least the day is longer.

    We were at 25 this AM. I guess that’s better than having another foot of snow on its way.

  61. 61.

    MomSense

    @schrodingers_cat:

    It’s cold here, too but kid has a play this afternoon so I decided to dress up. Also, too I haven’t done my laundry in awhile. It’s back of the closet time.

  62. 62.

    kindness

    Oh my….that dinner tomorrow with Ryan, McConnell, McCarthy & Cornyn w/ Trump. My karma forbids me from going to where my mind would wander. Now if this were Putin’s circles…..

  63. 63.

    magurakurin

    @SFAW:

    Infrastructure Week usually is.

    Can we get a Randy Macho Man Savage “ooooh yeah” in here right now?

    oooooh yeahhh!

  64. 64.

    Procopius

    OK, the WaPo quote at the very beginning is just a flat-out lie. The FBI may have accidentally picked up some confidential documents in the course of their raid, but there is an entirely independent team required by Justice Department procedures to go through the seized material to make sure no document which might breach attorney-client confidentiality is given to the prosecutor, who is the States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, not one of Mueller’s team. I’ll bet the search warrant was very carefully drafted to describe exactly what they were allowed to take, and I’ll bet FBI supervisors were on the scene carefully watching to be sure that every rule was scrupulously followed. Normally I have very little faith in the rule of law over our enforcement agencies, but this is such a sensitive case that I’m confident they are obeying every rule and procedure. Otherwise the court will throw the case out which would end the State’s Attorney’s career. There is not a chance this is in any way connected to Trump. Mueller must have come across irrefutable evidence of a crime by Cohen. I would guess money laundering, but fraud or fudiciary misfeasance are also pretty likely possibilities.

  68. 68.

    SFAW

    @Lapassionara:

    crime by Mueller?

    It’s Procopius. Take anything it says with a 50-pound bag of salt. Or, ignore it — which is probably the smarter thing to do.

    ETA: Please also note that it was talking about the “State’s Attorney.”

  69. 69.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @sdhays:

    The thing is, he DOES want to fire Mueller.

    And always has, from day one. This is critical to my point. There is no ‘red line’ that’s going to make him want to fire Mueller more. He’s been seething since day one. Those reports are bullshit, in the sense that over this time something more long-term and deeper must be in play stopping him. We don’t know what that is, or when it might give out, but despite all his raging and hints that he totally should fire Sessions and Mueller, Trump has done nothing and kept doing nothing, on and on.

  70. 70.

    satby

    @mai naem mobile: kind of indicates IronStache made a few scores already, even before the primary.

    But it’s a good time to jump, for a grifter like Ryan. He can get his green room appearances lined up since McCain’s immanent passing will leave a vacancy in the Sunday yapfests.

  72. 72.

    sdhays

    @Frankensteinbeck: I’ll agree with that. But if he’s as guilty as I think he is, there’s definitely a breaking point. I suspect that now it’s too late, though. This Cohen investigation is being handled by someone else, so firing Mueller won’t stop it.

  74. 74.

    schrodingers_cat

    @NotMax: What about when they are running for office? In India, some prominent politicians in leadership positions have contested two seats (a safe seat and their more traditional seat) as insurance. This gets a side eye from the citizenry and punditry but is allowed under the current rules.

    ETA: Paul Ryan is not running because there is a good chance that he may lose. If he were a shameless Indian politician, he would run in his constituency and another safer seat.

  75. 75.

    Tenar Arha

    @Anne Laurie & @SFAW: & @Amir Khalid: Dang it! I hate you all, because my brain just decided to volunteer

    “Stormy could tell us, then brain bleach would never help. Bwwahahahaha!”

    All y’all are a baaad influence. ?

  77. 77.

    SFAW

    @Tenar Arha:

    Dang it! I hate you all, because my brain just decided to volunteer

    Hmm, I wouldn’t have thought you were a RWNJ. (As in: blaming others for your own actions.)

    That being said: sorry.

    ETA: I guess I coulda wrote “Sorry if you were offended by my words” or some other no-pology, but that would be mean.

  78. 78.

    Waldo

    Any reason why Trump wouldn’t fire Mueller? I’m not buying the constitutional-crisis argument — it’s all but unavoidable now, and Trump loves the chaos anyway. So why let Mueller continue to pile up evidence and line up witnesses?

  79. 79.

    Tenar Arha

    @SFAW: If I was unclear that I was joking, please blame it on the *lack of coffee.

    ETA OH heck, *lack of

  80. 80.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Waldo:
    Nobody knows, but Trump has been absolutely frothing at the mouth and spitting up bile to do it since day one. Trump is a man of zero self-control, remember. Something external is stopping him.

  82. 82.

    NotMax

    @schrodingers_cat

    As for running in more than one election simultaneously, it is highly unlikely they would qualify for the ballots. (Some state constitutions address the situation off holding multiple offices.) It’s a mostly untested area of law, although there is some precedent based on the Ineligibility Clause of the Constitution.

    …the disability continues for the term for which the Senator or Congressman was elected, rather than for the actual length of time in office, so that mere resignation from the Congress does not remedy the disability created by the clause. This is the view that Attorney General Benjamin H. Brewster took in advising President Chester A. Arthur that former Iowa governor and U.S. Senator Samuel J. Kirkwood was ineligible for appointment to the U.S. Tariff Commission, even though Kirkwood had already resigned his Senate seat to become Secretary of the Interior. Brewster reasoned that because the Tariff Commission had been created in 1882, and Kirkwood’s Senate term would have expired in 1883 if he had not first resigned, that Kirkwood was ineligible for the office. Source

    Should anyone win more than one election to the same position, that theoretically could be cited to disqualify the victor from all the offices. Also, the House is the final arbiter of who is seated as a member of the chamber, so that would also come into play.

  85. 85.

    danielx

    @Baud:

    For the record, that would be a reasonable choice, and a far superior one to wearing a tan suit.

    The shitgibbon without pants? I don’t think so.

  86. 86.

    sdhays

    @Waldo: Maybe it’s simple: Spanky can’t actually fire Mueller. We’ve been told that Mueller can only be fired “for cause”, not based on the whim of his superiors, so if the Preznit fired 10 people to finally find one willing to say the words “you’re fired” to Mueller, that termination would go to court and Spanky would lose. So not only would the investigation continue, the threat of firing Mueller would be gone and Spanky would start to look less like the deranged powerful Preznit and more like a deranged, weak fish in a barrel.

  88. 88.

    MomSense

    @thewesson:

    Nope. Do not want to think anything about taint and Cohen/Trump especially when the subject is hush money paid to women. We need a new term.

  90. 90.

    sdhays

    @schrodingers_cat: I have to laugh – your comment reminds me of a panel just last week (or maybe the week before) on the Snooze Hour where they were dismissing the strength of Stormy Daniels’ lawsuit to break the NDA. They completely dismissed the challenge to Spanky not having signed the agreement. That’s looking pretty stupid now…

  91. 91.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Frankensteinbeck: I’m certain that Mueller has already made provisions for his firing, that everything would get much, much worse for everyone and the investigations and indictments would continue apace. As I recall, Sessions was hired to shut Mueller down, but then had a closed-door meeting with Mueller after which he announced he would recuse himself.

    These guys obviously don’t respect the rule of law, so that meeting must have involved some very credible threat to Sessions personally. I’ve often wondered what it was.

    Anyway, I suspect Mueller has explained to the Toddlers baby sitters exactly what would happen upon his firing, and that has given them enough motivation to try to keep him from doing it.

    I also suspect they won’t be able to keep the lid on him forever. But as I said above, I doubt that will impact the criminal proceedings very much.

  92. 92.

    WaterGirl

    My theory is that Trump has been told by the “leaders” of the Republican Party that if Trump fired Mueller, they would be left with no choice other than impeachment.

    If I’m right, that just makes Ryan’s upcoming retirement even more interesting.

  94. 94.

    Karen Potter

    @NotMax: When Ryan was on ballot as vice president he was also on ballot for house seat; that way if Romney lost he would still have a “job”

  95. 95.

    Wapiti

    @sdhays: It just occurred to me – since someone else is handling his investigation, Cohen will be under pressure to cut a deal with *that* wing of DoJ.

  96. 96.

    catclub

    @Sab: I hope Cohen has a copy ( or better yet, a real copy and a submitted different copy) of Trump’s taxes.

  97. 97.

    catclub

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    but Trump has been absolutely frothing at the mouth and spitting up bile to do it since day one. Trump is a man of zero self-control, remember.

    This is our version of “obama is a fascist weakling.” If Trump can restrain himself for 14 months, maybe he does have some self-control.

  98. 98.

    NotMax

    @Karen Potter

    Not the first to do that. Different offices, different branches. Had he won both, he would have been forced to resign from one or the other.

  99. 99.

    NotMax

    @NotMax

    Amending for clarity.

    he would have been forced to resign from one or the other prior to taking the oath of office.

  102. 102.

    thewesson

    @catclub: Interesting. I think Trump is more fearful than he lets on.

    1 – Bluster
    2 – Others cave
    3 – Profit

    If 2 doesn’t happen, he’s left without a game plan.

    Anyhow, he moved to fire Mueller at least a couple of times, but various people in the White House (like Don McGahn I believe?) stopped him. So I don’t give Trump much credit for restraint, but indications are that fear has an effect on him.

  103. 103.

    Chris Johnson

    @satby: Maybe he’s going to flee the country. I would keep an eye on which of these critters are quietly getting out of America.

    Ryan is one of the ones who actively knew not even to joke about being controlled by Russia. I think in the long run it’ll be revealed that huge chunks of what’s known as Republicanism (and the NRA) have been Russian-funded for years.

    That’s because Russian oligarchs also have money. It’s not just the home-grown oligarchs that have an agenda.

  104. 104.

    burnspbesq

    Pretty thoughtful comment that popped up in my FB feed this morning.

    The press has been focused on the salacious parts of the Cohen search warrant. But, given Cohen’s position in the Trump global organization, I wonder whether there are any FCPA issues the fbi/sdny are looking into.

  106. 106.

    burnspbesq

    @Waldo:

    Any reason why Trump wouldn’t fire Mueller?

    Umm, he can’t. As a matter of law—both the governing regulation and an unbroken line of Supreme Court precedent going back to the 1830s. Marty Lederman summarized the law in a recent post at Just Security.

  108. 108.

    Stan

    @sdhays: @schrodingers_cat: I have to laugh – your comment reminds me of a panel just last week (or maybe the week before) on the Snooze Hour where they were dismissing the strength of Stormy Daniels’ lawsuit to break the NDA. They completely dismissed the challenge to Spanky not having signed the agreement. That’s looking pretty stupid now…

    Not really. If that was the *only* basis for challenging the validity of the contract, given that Daniels accepted the money, it is indeed a weak argument.

    Challenging the contract became a really strong argument when trumpy denied knowing about it.

  109. 109.

    Stan

    I’m not a lawyer but, frankly, I don’t see why trump can’t legally fire Mueller. Mueller works for an Executive Branch agency and has no civil service protection. At best he has the Special Counsel reg to protect him, and trump can get rid of that too.

    The problem is political, not legal, in my very, very humble ill-informed opinion.

  110. 110.

    TenguPhule

    @JR:

    Princes are not bound to give an account of their Actions but to God alone.

    Let him then be sent to give his report in person, post haste.

  111. 111.

    burnspbesq

    @Stan:

    trump can get rid of that too.

    Not quickly enough. As a general rule, regulations adopted through the notice-and-comment process under the Administrative Procedure Act can only be revoked or modified through that process.

  112. 112.

    J R in WV

    @Stan:

    Mueller works for an Executive Branch agency and has no civil service protection.

    Where you go most wrong is the has no civil service protection – he does, and would not have accepted the job without it. Being an experienced government employee, he knew that he would need those civil service protections in order to do his job. Yes, he works for an Executive Branch agency, but there are laws and long standing regulations that protect those employees.

    Do you think Trump could just decide to do away with the Department of Justice? Nope, probably not. Nor can he do away arbitrarily with a civil service employee, who can only be fired for cause. Not even regulations can be pushed away by whim, not even by the King, er, uh, President.

    I see subtle indications that others have kicked in their opinions on this…

  113. 113.

    jl

    “Having the vapors’ is incorrect. Correct characterization include ‘galloping fantods’, ‘hissy fit’, and ‘around the bend’, and ‘very far gone’.

  115. 115.

    psychobroad

    @sdhays: I know I’m way late, but thanks for explaining, I mean that. I have a law degree,but every bit I ever knew has exited my head from sheer terror!

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