Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Let there be snark.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

You are here: Home / Only the Best People for the Borgia Pope

Only the Best People for the Borgia Pope

by | 105 Comments

This post is in: 

This seems normal:

As Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt faces a seemingly endless stream of scandal, his team is scrambling to divert the spotlight to Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke. And the White House isn’t happy about it.

In the last week, a member of Pruitt’s press team, Michael Abboud, has been shopping negative stories about Zinke to multiple outlets, according to two sources with direct knowledge of the efforts, as well as correspondence reviewed by The Atlantic.

“This did not happen, and it’s categorically false,” said EPA spokesman Jahan Wilcox.

The stories were shopped with the intention of “taking the heat off of Pruitt,” the sources said, in the aftermath of the EPA chief’s punishing congressional hearing last week. They both added, however, that most reporters felt the story was not solid enough to run. On Thursday, Patrick Howley of Big League Politics published a piece on the allegations; he did not respond to request for comment as to his sources.

Everything is fine this is what happens when the adults are in charge.

Reader Interactions

105Comments

  2. 2.

    ? Martin

    Of course Pruitt is playing the ‘not the worst kid in the world’ strategy. However, most of us don’t believe the ‘2nd worst kid in the world’ is exactly a title to be proud of.

  4. 4.

    trollhattan

    [Rubs eyes. Reads again. Rubs eyes. Reaches for bourb…rats!]
    My two least favorite cabinet members are taking each other out? Huh, conflicted.

  7. 7.

    Ocotillo

    The news from this group is like a firehose. If you notice, our media overlords would usually have been running plenty of horse race stories about the upcoming 2020 race but they are so overwhelmed, you hardly see anything about who will be the Dem nominee in 2020 other than an occasional Bernie or LIz? story with a dash of Uncle Joe might run.

    Whoever the nominee is, will they be able to get any print (pixels) with this ongoing circus?

  8. 8.

    TenguPhule

    2021 government checklist.

    Q 1. Were you hired by a Republican in the last 20 years?

    If Yes. GTFO, you’re fired.

    Q 2. Were you nominated or appointed by Donald Trump?

    If Yes. Go straight to Jail, do not collect $200

  9. 9.

    TenguPhule

    @trollhattan:

    My two least favorite cabinet members are taking each other out? Huh, conflicted.

    I’ve said it before, my liver is not going to make it if this keeps up for another 2 years.

  10. 10.

    Jeffro

    Pruitt…is ratfucking Zinke to try and get the spotlight off of his many um, un-virtuous ways?

    BWAH-HAH-HAH!

    It’s funny – almost – how evil and stupid just go together like cookies n’ milk, isn’t it?

    God help us if an Evil Obama ever shows up on the Repub side, though…

  12. 12.

    hellslittlestangel

    The final shootout from Reservoir Dogs, done right this time — as a comedy.

  14. 14.

    TenguPhule


    ‘My whole life has been a lie’: Sweden admits meatballs are Turkish

    Turks have reacted with undisguised glee to what many have described as an official – and certainly long overdue – confession from Stockholm that Sweden’s signature national dish is, in fact, Turkish.

    “Those famous Swedish meatballs you get in Ikea are actually Turkish, admits Swedish government,” tweeted TRT World, Turkey’s publicly funded international television news channel.

    “Swedish meatballs originally Turkish dish: Swedish government,” said the headline in Hürriyet Daily News, after Sweden’s official national Twitter account, @swedense, came clean last weekend.

    “Swedish meatballs are actually based on a recipe King Charles XII brought home from Turkey in the early 18th century,” the Swedish account revealed abruptly and for no immediately apparent reason. “Let’s stick to the facts!”

    Reposted from prior thread.

    Because why not, nothing else makes sense anymore either.

  15. 15.

    lgerard

    (Emmet Flood frantically searching his records trying to find a “conflict”)

  16. 16.

    tobie

    @TenguPhule: Oh damn. I’m supposed to go to Sweden in a couple of weeks. How can I go to a country that stole its national dish from somewhere else?

  17. 17.

    rikyrah

    To get a warrant to wiretap Michael Cohen’s phone conversations, the FBI had to comply with highly stringent rules and standards laid down by SCOTUS in Katz v. US, 389 U.S. 347 (1967), in an opinion I helped Justice Stewart draft for the Court as his law clerk.

    — Laurence Tribe (@tribelaw) May 3, 2018

    Giuliani claims that Trump had a right to be notified if and when the wiretap on Cohen picked up a conversation with Trump. That’s wrong. Such notification would have been wrong — and potentially a criminal obstruction of justice insofar as it would have blown the FBI’s cover.

    — Laurence Tribe (@tribelaw) May 3, 2018

  22. 22.

    dmsilev

    @trollhattan:

    My two least favorite cabinet members are taking each other out? Huh, conflicted.

    Root for injuries. Or the meteor.

  27. 27.

    JPL

    In honor of National Prayer Day, I pray they let Trump play golf tomorrow, amen.

  28. 28.

    TenguPhule

    @JPL: Indeed. Its rather sad how so much of our national news is the wrong kind of messed up compared to other countries.

  29. 29.

    ? Martin

    Can we pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that the FBI tapped the phones of the President’s personal attorney? That is astonishing as well as reassuring that a lot of things are still working as they are supposed to.

  31. 31.

    ? Martin

    @JPL: Gotta give the GOP credit for fucking up pastoral services in an officially non-denominational organization.

  33. 33.

    rikyrah

    Can we pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that the FBI tapped the phones of the President’s personal attorney?

    Uh huh
    Uh huh

    If this had been 44?

    Well, you know the end of that….

  34. 34.

    Mary G

    @JPL: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in – Paul Ryan. Shoulda known better than to fuck with Father Conroy.

  35. 35.

    JPL

    @? Martin: Paul Ryan’s office will release a statement later. Probably not today since it’s not appropriate to fire him on this special day.

    nothing is normal

  36. 36.

    rikyrah

    It’s on & poppin…………

    Special Counsel Robert Mueller on Thursday filed a request for 70 blank subpoenas in the Virginia court presiding over one of two criminal proceedings involving former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort.https://t.co/dDu5MbQGGR

    — 3ChicsPolitico (@3ChicsPolitico) May 3, 2018

  38. 38.

    efgoldman

    @lgerard:

    Emmet Flood frantically searching his records trying to find a “conflict”

    He should probably try to deposit the check. When it bounces, he’s off the hook.

  39. 39.

    Brachiator

    @TenguPhule:

    ‘My whole life has been a lie’: Sweden admits meatballs are Turkish

    What?

    Next, somebody will be saying that ketchup doesn’t come from Ketcherland.

  42. 42.

    efgoldman

    @TenguPhule:

    National Popcorn shortage as supply is unable to keep up

    Old Orville Redenbacher is gonna’ stroke right out

  44. 44.

    Emma

    Oi! The Borgias may have been murderous bastards but they were fairly competent at it.

  45. 45.

    efgoldman

    @Mary G:

    Paul Ryan. Shoulda known better than to fuck with Father Conroy.

    Or ANY Jesuit. Hell, I’m not even Catholic, and I know that.

  47. 47.

    gvg

    the last year and a half, I have learned how little I actually know about exact legal processes. Now what does it mean when he requests 70 blank subpoenas? It sounds like when I request more post it note pads, but I don’t think a supply request would get reported in the news….is it like a sealed indictment where it’s just still secret form us who gets called?
    I still know more than Trump does though and that is terrifying.

  48. 48.

    rikyrah

    Baltimore student accepted to all 8 Ivy League schools makes his decision
    Talia Richman

    The Baltimore student who was accepted into all eight Ivy League schools has made his decision.

    “Harvard College Class of 2022!!” Mekhi Johnson posted to Facebook on May 1, college decision day.

    Johnson, a senior at the Gilman School, is one of just a handful of students across the nation to be accepted into all eight of the elite institutions. He’s been working toward that accomplishment since he was 6 years old, when he first heard a story on the radio about a boy who had gotten in to all of the Ivies.

    “Even at 6, he was pretty serious and goal-oriented,” his mother, Tawana Thomas Johnson, previously said. “He kept this idea in front of him through all those years.”

    Johnson said he found out about his slew of acceptances while out to dinner with his mother at Red Lobster.

    He checked his admissions status at each school in quick succession: Yale, in. Columbia, in. Cornell, in. And then finally, Harvard.

    “As soon as I saw I got into Harvard, my mom started screaming,” the 17-year-old Baltimore student told The Baltimore Sun in March. “She started yelling, ‘My son just got into Harvard,’ and everyone in the restaurant started clapping.”

  49. 49.

    lgerard

    So did trump deduct the “retainer” he paid Cohen from his taxes as a business expense?

    The “retainer” that was actually a bribery payment, and is not a legitimate business expense?

    I guess we will never know, because “no one is interested in his tax returns”

  50. 50.

    Mary G

    @gvg: Subpoenas are for evidence, like bank records, or for testimony of witnesses who refuse to cooperate voluntarily. The number 70 is a bit mind-boggling.

  51. 51.

    Gelfling 545

    @JPL: Article says they havent “fully” read it yet. It’s 2 pages. Mighty slow readers or, more likely, they can’t figure out a way not to make themselves look more stupid than they do already.

  54. 54.

    Adam L Silverman

    @? Martin: he’s not his personal attorney – he never was his personal attorney. He’s the President’s private/corporate fixer. That’s all he’s ever been to the President.

  55. 55.

    different-church-lady

    @rikyrah:

    “Harvard College Class of 2022!!” Mekhi Johnson posted to Facebook on May 1, college decision day.

    Fuck — what kind of app is he going to invent that will make our world so much worse?

  59. 59.

    The Moar You Know

    Fuck — what kind of app is he going to invent that will make our world so much worse?

    @different-church-lady: Slavebook. It gathers all your personal info, puts you in touch with all your long-lost friends, then it sends a team to kidnap you and everyone you know at 4am and sends you off to work at a camp in the Dakotas or Alabama, where you die of disease or starvation.

  60. 60.

    ? Martin

    @Adam L Silverman:

    he’s not his personal attorney – he never was his personal attorney. He’s the President’s private/corporate fixer. That’s all he’s ever been to the President.

    No, I’m aware of that, but it has been asserted by the President and from the WH podium that he’s Trump’s personal attorney and that certain matters should be referred to him. That is, the President has asserted he’s his attorney, and even if he’s not actually that, it still carries a certain risk to the FBI to tap his phones.

  62. 62.

    Mary G

    Everybody on Twitter:

    We recently found a bug that stored passwords unmasked in an internal log. We fixed the bug and have no indication of a breach or misuse by anyone. As a precaution, consider changing your password on all services where you’ve used this password. https://t.co/RyEDvQOTaZ— Twitter Support (@TwitterSupport) May 3, 2018

    The worst part is that Vox had a whole article up about it first.

  63. 63.

    different-church-lady

    @Mary G: “Also: Twitter is an entertaining, yet ultimately useless and corrosive time-sink. Abandon it.”

  64. 64.

    Steve in the ATL

    @JPL:

    Now you’ll tell me that french fries aren’t french.

    I’m surprised Belgium hasn’t filed a complaint with the EU over this

    @Spanky:

    What next? Swedish towels? Swedish prisons?

    Swedish delight

    @tobie:

    Oh damn. I’m supposed to go to Sweden in a couple of weeks. How can I go to a country that stole its national dish from somewhere else?

    I’ve heard good things about Swedish delight!

  66. 66.

    Steve in the ATL

    @JPL:

    The Cohen trial should be interesting, if he is indicted.

    You said “if” rather than “when” because you expect him to accidentally drown in his bathtub then fall out a fifth story window while drinking radioactive tea?

  70. 70.

    Roger Moore

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I’m surprised Belgium hasn’t filed a complaint with the EU over this

    The couldn’t do it against France, since they just call them pommes frites without any mention of a country of origin. And the British tend to call them chips rather than French Fries. So the people they’d be suing are Americans, so it wouldn’t be a complaint with the EU anyway.

  71. 71.

    BroD

    It’s all good from DT’s pov: the more bad press Zinke and Pruitt generate the less space is devoted to DT & his crew.

  72. 72.

    The Moar You Know

    The whole letter is in this tweet; I can smell the disdain from here in California:

    @Mary G: Were I Ryan, here’s how I would handle it (and he won’t because he is a moron):

    1. Blame liberals, claim they threatened to make you appoint a Muslim as a replacement under “Equal Opportunity Quotas”;
    2. Abolish office of House chaplain “rather than force our members to violate their religious beliefs”, blame “activist judges” and “frivolous lawsuits” and all the usual bullshit;
    3. Rake in cash

    The cons would buy it without question. You all know they would. I will be interested to see how this actually plays out. It won’t be like this. They just aren’t that smart.

  76. 76.

    Brachiator

    @Steve in the ATL:

    Now you’ll tell me that french fries aren’t french.

    I’m surprised Belgium hasn’t filed a complaint with the EU over this

    Belgium is waffling over the issue.

  78. 78.

    Mnemosyne

    @The Lodger:

    To be fair, a lot of the cuisine we stole was made with ingredients you can only get from the Americas: tomatoes, corn, potatoes, etc.

    It’s almost like food can’t be “stolen,” or something. ?

  84. 84.

    raven

    I don’t know if this will show up here but it’s a hilarious doggie vid!

    nope too bad

  85. 85.

    Mnemosyne

    @Brachiator:

    As far as I can tell, people mistook French-speaking Belgian immigrants for French immigrants and they decided it wasn’t worth arguing about as long as they were making money. C’est la vie!

  86. 86.

    Mnemosyne

    @TenguPhule:

    You can only make marinara sauce with tomatoes from the Americas. Whose cuisine was stolen from whom, again? ?

  87. 87.

    SRW1

    @Roger Moore:

    The couldn’t do it against France, since they just call them pommes frites without any mention of a country of origin.

    Been to France with a bunch of classmates at the end of the 1970s and ordered ‘pommes frites’ on a camping site. The guy who took the order looked at me like I was a moron until somebody in the line behind me helpfully translated and told him that I obviously meant ‘pommes de terre frites’, cause ‘pommes’ only means apples. If you wanna order pommes frites in France it’s only ‘frites’ or ‘des frites, s’il-vous plait’.

  88. 88.

    different-church-lady

    I’MMA EAT ALL THE GODDAMNED CHINESE FOOD I WANT, EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT REALLY CHINESE, DON’T CARE WHAT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SAY!!1!

  92. 92.

    randy khan

    @tobie:

    In fairness, I think the national dish probably is lutefisk.

    And so far as I can tell, glug is entirely Swedish, too, and you’ll probably need it when you eat the lutefisk.

  94. 94.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    I am just feeling my inner white male superiority with stories like these. Hoho good bye economic anxiety So much winning for the forgotten white guy I am sick of it already.

    Seriously, is the Trump administration some performance art project?

  96. 96.

    Steve in the ATL

    @SRW1: by the eighties those lazy frogs had slacked off and would serve you fries if you asked for pommes frites. Germans would have kept the two extra words, of course. Belgians? Who the fuck knows–no one can understand Walloon.

  97. 97.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @hellslittlestangel:

    Just stay home and enjoy the American national dish — pizza!

    We didn’t have pizza when I was a child. Back then, the national dish was chow mein.

  101. 101.

    Gelfling 545

    @JPL: I’m sure he’ll be indicted, though probably for matters unconnected to Trump. Possibly for his insurance fraud activities. I’d be surprised if the wiretap was Trump related. If you’ve got secrets to keep, though, avoid Trump.

  102. 102.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    @Steve in the ATL:

    You said “if” rather than “when” because you expect him to accidentally drown in his bathtub then fall out a fifth story window while drinking radioactive tea?

    The problem with Trump and friends is they are perfectly capable of doing themselves in that way without any Russian help.

Comments are closed.