Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Let there be snark.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

This really is a full service blog.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

I was promised a recession.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Usually wrong but never in doubt

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Open Thread: An Interlude with Willard “Mitt” Romney

Open Thread: An Interlude with Willard “Mitt” Romney

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Mitt Romney is running for the Senate again, this time from his spiritual home in Utah. (Extra points to Murphy the Trickster God’s lack of discrimination for arranging that his GOP primary opponent will be named Kennedy — no relation to the Masshole clan.) People who know these things agree that Mitt will walk away with the nomination, and therefore in Repub-friendly Utah the election. After which, Mitt says, he will be A Strong Voice against that terrible, lawless RINO now occupying the Oval Office… please do not bring up the unfortunate frog-legs dinner.

So Romney is once again doing interviews, which continue to be… well…

My immediate thought was ‘I prefer things that seem to have been factory-produced, like me’.

Mr. Charles P. Pierce believes this is pandering, done badly. (“Have some respect for the craft, Willard.”)

Me, I believe it is a glimpse at the sad soul of our former Governor, a high-end formed-meat product in a world increasingly divided between those who won’t touch the nasty things, and those who prefer their meat products as cheaply and obviously mass-produced as possible.

Reader Interactions

155Comments

  6. 6.

    Frankensteinbeck

    “What do poor people eat? Hot… dogs? If it is hot, why do they not clean it and its crate with a refreshing hose blast?”

    And of course, this whole event leads us to one overpowering question: Why won’t Hillary go away?

  7. 7.

    trollhattan

    My gosh, the very idea that life could or should be enjoyable is simply beyond comprehension. Become wealthy, be fruitful and tithe to the church, what else is there? Golly, i guess another is to be elected to office and make other people live like I do. Now who wants another weenie?

  8. 8.

    NotMax

    Honestly, if he indulged in alcohol he’d drink his beer from a sippy cup.

  10. 10.

    trollhattan

    @HinTN:
    Not a bloody thing going to stop him. My only solace, and it’s scant, is he’ll be an upgrade in that particular seat.

    Is Mittens in bed with Big Supplement?

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    One just knows that if presented with a hot dog, Mitt would ask for a knife and fork.

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    Just say a nice ribeye is good once in a while. People know you’re rich and ribeye is affordable for a lot of people when you catch it on sale. Just stay away from Chateaubriand.

  15. 15.

    MattF

    I’m willing to suppose that Mitt has a number of sincere beliefs. But I just can’t think of any specific one. Hmm… isn’t that odd…

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    @MattF: I’m willing to believe that “corporations are people, my friend” is a sincerely-held belief.

  23. 23.

    SenyorDave

    If he really wants to be a man of the people, he should go for head cheese. Followed by spam, of course. Then he can do barbecue tour of Utah to get the redneck vote, maybe even take “Bubba” as his new nickname (of course he will have his lawyers trademark it).

  24. 24.

    Ruckus

    @HinTN:
    His perceived or actual worth?
    Perceived = more than all the rest of humanity added together.
    Actual = Far worse than any of us wants to find out.

  26. 26.

    Mary G

    He’s an obscenely rich skinflint. I remember seeing an ad for the infomercial/documentary that was put out after the election to show the “real Mitt,” and he taped a piece of cardboard to something in the kitchen rather than have a real repair. Christ, you have millions of dollars, and you use duct tape and cardboard in the kitchen?

  29. 29.

    geg6

    Mitt probably buys store brand hotdogs and frozen beef patties, the cheap bastard. There are delicious hotdogs that aren’t mystery meat, mainly at the Original Hotdog (or more fondly, the Dirty O) and New Brighton Hotdog Shop, but I can’t see Mittens stepping into either one. And don’t get me started on burgers.

    As far as I’m concerned Mittens can eat shit, which is all he deserves.

  32. 32.

    Ruckus

    @Mary G:

    He’s an obscenely rich skinflint.

    And that’s about as nice a thing as anyone can say about him.
    Do all old farts sound as pompous as mittens? Because if we do, I’m going to have to go mute, just so I won’t annoy anyone within earshot.

  33. 33.

    efgoldman

    @Mary G:

    you have millions of dollars, and you use duct tape and cardboard in the kitchen?

    How do you think he saved all those nickels?

  34. 34.

    efgoldman

    I dunno’ from Utah politics, but what happened to Chaffetz, the King of Smarm? I thought he saw himself as the old fart’s anointed successor.

  35. 35.

    Adam L Silverman

    @MattF:

    I’m willing to suppose that Mitt has a number of sincere beliefs. But I just can’t think of any specific one.

    That Mitt is an important person who deserves to be elected to office because he’s Mitt and he’s an important person who deserves to be elected to office because he’s Mitt and he’s an important person who deserves to be elected to office because he’s Mitt and he’s an important person who deserves to be elected to office…

  40. 40.

    Mike in NC

    Mitt’s fondness for tube steak can only be matched by George H. W. Bush’s stated love of country music and pork rinds.

    Pandering, out of touch idiots.

  42. 42.

    trollhattan

    Deal cutter in chief ends relationship with his new French best friend,

    US President Donald Trump has outraged French opinion by suggesting the 2015 attacks on Paris could have been stopped by giving people guns.

    He mimicked gunmen summoning and shooting victims one by one, saying “Boom! Come over here!” and using his hand to imitate a gun being fired. In reality, the attackers sprayed many of their 130 victims with semi-automatic fire and set off bomb belts.

    The French foreign ministry called for the victims’ memory to be respected.

    “France expresses its firm disapproval of the comments by President Trump about the attacks of 13 November 2015 in Paris and asks for the memory of the victims to be respected,” the foreign ministry said.

    That was a quick week, but sometimes the flame burns so brightly it simply can’t go on. Maybe Donny can befriend li’l Kim.

  45. 45.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: It was touch and go for a few minutes there at the tail end of the third period. I will say, even though the call went our way allowing Stamkos to score, that the officiating in this series has been terrible. And it has negatively effected both teams at different times.

    Also, if I was Callahan, the next time Marchand licked me I’d have him arrested for sexual assault. If I walked up to someone – man or woman – at their place of worked and licked them, that would be sexual assault. And given how good a player Marchand actually is, why he thinks he needs to do stuff like this is beyond me.

  48. 48.

    MattF

    @trollhattan: I guess this was during his address to the NRA? Sorta comforting to return to the outrages of Lil’ Donald and Big Donald. So awful.

  49. 49.

    Brachiator

    It’s like, I know steaks are great but I like hot dog best and I like hamburger next best”

    Could Romney be a space alien? His words don’t sound like anything a human being would say.

  51. 51.

    efgoldman

    @Adam L Silverman:

    the officiating in this series has been terrible.

    Pretty typical for the NHL. The inconsistency with in a game and a period drives me nuts.

  54. 54.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: Picture if you will Willard “Mitt” Romney a synthetic man created in a lab in Provo, Utah who wants to be a real boy…//

  58. 58.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Brachiator: I’m going to be honest. I’m all in for good burgers and dogs grilled outdoors. I can eat a ton of those. I love that sort of food. Wouldn’t want to eat it every day. But if you invite me to a cookout and you’re serving burgers and dogs, you’re going to need at least half a dozen of each just for me. I will, of course, make it up to you on the desert end by bringing home made brownies and cookies and pies and cup cakes and lots of them.

  60. 60.

    Corner Stone

    @MoCA Ace: Brick was a good natured simpleton. Yeah, he might have killed a guy with a trident and all, but really he was a sweetheart just looking for love.

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    @MattF:
    Yup. NRA seems to release the inner Donald as effectively as AEI did for Cheney. Never seen so many flying freak flags.

  63. 63.

    JDM

    @efgoldman:

    He looks like somebody’s idea of a movie star senator.
    In a bad movie.
    Phony as hell

    So, a man for our times, you’re saying.

  65. 65.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: It is not good. I don’t want things to be allowed to get out of hand, but the players on the ice and the coaches on the bench should be determining who wins and loses, not the referees.

  66. 66.

    trollhattan

    @Adam L Silverman:
    We need to resurrect the “This skin suit makes me itchy” meme.

    “Arise, Mittbot 3.0 and go find the source of these loose dogs.”

  70. 70.

    Corner Stone

    @Adam L Silverman: Ah, I screwed up. Should have been a 737:
    Media Matters link:
    “In his June 6 column, Politico chief political columnist Roger Simon declared Romney the winner of the June 5 Republican presidential debate and attributed Romney’s victory, in part, to the fact that he is “[s]trong, clear, gives good soundbite, and has shoulders you could land a 737 on.”

    “MATTHEWS: Hard-nosed columnist Bob Novak, who proudly wears the mantle “Prince of Darkness,” says that presidential candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, must talk about his faith soon, or it’s all over. And Newsweek put the well-sculpted Mitt on its cover this week, with a look at his candidacy and his faith.”

  73. 73.

    efgoldman

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I will, of course, make it up to you on the desert end

    We’re having a cookout Memorial Day Saturday. You’re more than welcome. For reals.

  75. 75.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Corner Stone: Okay, now it makes sense. As someone with very broad shoulders (over six inches from the outside edge to my 18 inch neck), as well as a PhD partially in political science, this is a very stupid remark.

  77. 77.

    Baud

    meat is hot dog, by the way. That is my favorite meat” Romney said. “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And everyone says, oh don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great but I like hot dog best and I like hamburger next best

    I can’t help but read this in the voice of Ralph from the Simpsons.

  79. 79.

    Brachiator

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I’m going to be honest. I’m all in for good burgers and dogs grilled outdoors. I can eat a ton of those. I love that sort of food.

    Oh, I’m with you. It’s just that Romney is so stiff and formal and unconvincing.

    I love burgers and dogs. Ain’t no hierarchy. Burgers and dogs. But … if you absolutely had to rank them, burgers come before dogs. Never, dogs, then burgers.

    Do I believe that Romney actually eats hot dogs? Hell, I don’t believe that Mittbot 3.0 eats anything at all.

  81. 81.

    Baud

    Speaking of the Simpsons, Mitt should be forced to eat a hot dog on TV the way Mr. Burns was forced to eat the three-eyed fish.

  82. 82.

    TS (the original)

    Why is the media not telling him to go home and take up knitting? or even fishing?

    What is actually sadder than the fawning media – at 71 and wealthy beyond most people’s wildest dreams, all he can think of to do is be part of government. I absolutely adore being retired. It is the best time of my life. The only one who demands my attention – and gets it – is the grandchild.

  83. 83.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Baud: Thanks! It was pretty exciting because it was the first time I have voted. There was no line and no one asked me for an ID, everyone was friendly and the policeman thanked me for voting.

  84. 84.

    James Powell

    @efgoldman:

    He is right out of the casting catalogue for the corrupt businessperson or politician who turns out to be the murderer.

  85. 85.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: I appreciate the invite. If I was in the area I’d take you up on it. Right now, I’m expecting to be on temporary duty no where near you all. That is, of course, if the staffer whose supposed to work the scheduling and issue the travel orders ever gets back to me…

  89. 89.

    Corner Stone

    Personally, if one eats meat at all, I am putting the stinkeye on anyone who says they would rather have a hotdog than a good steak. Given equal opportunity.

  91. 91.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Baud: Are you grass fed? Free range? No hormones or anti-biotics? Harvested sustainably and ethically?//

  92. 92.

    Adam L Silverman

    @TS (the original): Well there used to be this concept of service to give back to the municipality or state or country that had allowed one to be so prosperous. My guess is this is not why Mitt is running.

  95. 95.

    Corner Stone

    @Baud:

    Mitt should be forced to eat a hot dog on TV

    “What…umm, what is this?”
    “It’s a hotdog, sir. Your favorite meat.”
    “This is what I said I liked best?”
    “Yes, sir…a hotdog.”
    ***GULPS***
    “Well, I guess that presidentin’ isn’t going to happen without some sacrifices…”

  96. 96.

    NotMax

    Will admit that the idea of the junior senator from Utah being over 70 does tickle the funny bone.

  97. 97.

    Corner Stone

    @Baud:

    I am rare.

    But simultaneously well done.

    Excuse me, but there is only room for one schrodinger’s cat on, in, near or all three at one time for this blog.

  98. 98.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Corner Stone: I just made some chuck roast in the slow cooker marinaded with my green masala (cilantro, mint, ginger, garlic and chilies and added to it a spice rub for kebabs. Its smell divine. I am not a fan of mystery meat hot dogs. Also prefer kebabs to plain old burgers.

  101. 101.

    Lapassionara

    I am technically unable to link, but there is an alarming story in The Guardian about Trump hiring somebody to dig up dirt on those in the Obama administration who negotiated the Iran deal. Worth a look.

  102. 102.

    Shell

    Lordie, is it possible for this guy to make a casual remark/observance that DOES sound likke it comes from a normal human being.

  104. 104.

    germy

    @NotMax:

    Will admit that the idea of the junior senator from Utah being over 70 does tickle the funny bone.

    “Now Junior, behave yourself!”
    – Larry Williams

  105. 105.

    satby

    @schrodingers_cat: I got three bunches of ramps at the market today and I’m torn between recipes. Leaning toward making a ramp pesto though, and maybe save some for ramp and spinach omelette tomorrow. Num, num, num!

  107. 107.

    Shell

    Are ramps different than wild garlic?

    Looking it up, I think Field Garlic is what I usually see popping up in my garden in the Spring.

  108. 108.

    zhena gogolia

    @Brachiator:

    I thought his favorite food was his wife’s meatloaf, which is closer to a burger than to a hot dog. But that was when he was running for president. Different lies now.

  110. 110.

    Corner Stone

    @schrodingers_cat: I’ve been thinking about making green chili chicken enchilada casserole (cilantro, tomatillos,Serrano peppers, garlic, onion, green chilis) tonight. But I’m just not hungry enough at the moment to get the necessaries. May just go pick up a stuffed baked potato later.
    I like kebabs but too much work for just me.

  111. 111.

    Corner Stone

    @Shell:

    Lordie, is it possible for this guy to make a casual remark/observance that DOES sound likke it comes from a normal human being.

    “Sportsball! Go Team!”

  113. 113.

    geg6

    @Corner Stone:

    Well, believe it or not, the New Brighton Hotdog Shop has some of the best burgers you’ll ever eat from a flat top grill. So again, Mittens will never know what a good burger is. Too plebeian for his taste, I’m sure.

  115. 115.

    geg6

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Head on up to Pittsburgh for Memorial Day. We’ll be grilling special hotdogs (made locally, natural casing, great snap) and burgers in large quantities. The more guests the better.

  116. 116.

    NotMax

    Attention, Twitter people – CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD. Now.

    Twitter’s 330 million users are being urged to change their passwords after some were exposed in plain text on its internal network. Source

  119. 119.

    Citizen Scientist

    that dude would totally not fly in southeastern PA. #trumptaint

  121. 121.

    jl

    I don’t see why AL is all limousine liberal snotty elitist and beating up on Willard.
    My favorite fruit is skittles and my favorite vegetable is potato chip.

  122. 122.

    jl

    Willard could provide a great service to humanity by working as a test subject in ‘uncanny valley’ robotics research.

    Edit: Instead he’ll go to the Senate and work in the very over researched area of empty headed pompous old rich white coot.

  123. 123.

    schrodingers_cat

    @Corner Stone: I make a kebab with a mix of ground beef and turkey, its pretty awesome. I make a bunch on the weekend, then use them as meatballs, on pizzas etc. I know its hard to cook for one person. I would invite you over, if you were in the neighborhood.

  124. 124.

    Ruckus

    @TS (the original):
    Why are you content and mittens is not?
    You are normal?
    Because you don’t have an overly fed view of yourself as the savior of the great white race. The one person who can ride in on his great white steed and save the day for rich, white, assholes. The person who has to prove that he is at least as good as a stale american cheese sandwich of almost moldy wonder bread slathered in mayo. The arrogant ass who thinks that no one will like him because he has money so he goes out of his way to prove them correct.

  125. 125.

    Sab

    When I was a kid in Florida the school hot dlogs were dyed bright red. Anyone else remember those?

  126. 126.

    FlyingToaster

    @schrodingers_cat: Up heah in the People’s Republic, you only ask for ID if it’s a first-time voter who registered online, or in a grocery parking lot.
    cop
    If you register in person at the Registry or Town Hall, they check your ID then.

  127. 127.

    Gelfling 545

    @Corner Stone: Why doesn’t he just wait a few years. Don’t Mormon men get their own planet to rule when they die or some such?

  128. 128.

    Ruckus

    @Sab:
    Stationed at Great Lakes for a school in the navy, once a week they served boiled hot dogs for lunch. By the time they served them from the steam kettles, the dogs were a fine gray color and the water had red scum floating on top. Yummmmmmy.
    (We got marched from class to the mess every day. Otherwise no one would have set foot in the place. As it was no one ate there. Hot dog day was not close to the worst day.)

  130. 130.

    Gelfling 545

    @Ruckus: When I was teaching I always said I was glad to have middle school & not elementary because classes changed every 45 minutes. If the kids were being assholes, they’d leave and others would arrive. Chances were good, given it was middle school, that they’d be assholes too but they’d be DIFFERENT assholes. Sometimes that’s as good as it gets.

  131. 131.

    jl

    @Ruckus: I don’t care one way or the other if Mitt Romney runs again, same with HRC (though I know she claims to have retired from the elective office game), or BS, or anybody. For the me, the question is, if they are going to run again, have they improved their game, do they have anything specific and well thought out to add to governance.

    You can argue about how well HRC met that test in 2016, but no question she did a 100 percent goof faith effort at doing just that. Mitt so far has been a total jerk about it, making weak ass symbolic stands against Trumpism, then pretending to be on the Trumpster team in order to pander, then ducking out of sight. He has nothing to offer his state or the country, from what I have seen so far. So, the hell with him. Retire, pack it in, go home.
    At this point, given that he has shown to my satisfaction that he has no cause other than being a big shot, he just another warm body to fill a slot for ego gratification, it would be just a pathetic spectacle, except for fact that he’ll probably win, so just corrupt US politics, glumly business as usual, rather than being pathetic.

  132. 132.

    Ruckus

    @jl:
    We actually should care that rich entitled assholes run. They have an advantage because the media costs so much to run. We have a massive disadvantage because first, they are assholes and second, because far too many white people think with the color of their skin and nothing else, we have a two party system and the rich, entitled white peoples party wants no part of the majority of us having any input into our government, even though that is how it is supposed to be.
    Yes anyone can run, but people like mittens have no qualifications for actual government. Not one. But because he has money he will get endorsements, and that will mean votes. Will it be enough? Probably. Being wealthy was never a requirement for office and for the majority of us it is a liability in a candidate. Only thing worse is a moron playing a rich person who gets elected.

  134. 134.

    Chet Murthy

    I think we’re being too hard on the Mittster. So he likes hot dogs. Machine-made meat. Has anybody thought that maybe this is spare parts? A robot of his age (71yr!) has gotta have some significant wear-and-tear — you’d expect that he’d need replacements for lots of his innards. I fully expect that his eventual autopsy we’ll find out he’s 100% Oscar Mayer.

  135. 135.

    jl

    @Ruckus: I agree with you, at least for states and districts where there is a decent chance a really good person could win.

    So, an unstated premise of my comments is ‘It’s Utah, so Mitt isn’t worse than whoever would win otherwise”.

  136. 136.

    Brachiator

    @jl:

    glumly business as usual, rather than being pathetic.

    Why not both? It’s Mitt, after all.

  138. 138.

    Ruckus

    @jl:

    So, an unstated premise of my comments is ‘It’s Utah, so Mitt isn’t worse than whoever would win otherwise”.

    Quite possibly.
    Quite possibly not. Sure maybe no one better will run. Doesn’t make him a viable candidate in the least.

  139. 139.

    FlyingToaster

    @schrodingers_cat: It’s address verification. When I moved here, I went the next bidness day out to the Watertown Registry, with my previous state’s license and a copy of my lease, and got my license; T’d back to Somerville with the receipt and went into City Hall and registered. Pre-motor-voter days.

    After 16 years here, the staff at the Police Station recognize me on election days; or maybe they just recognize WarriorGirl, since I’ve brought her with me to every election since 2007. They’re already flipping to my page when I get to the head of the line.

  141. 141.

    Adam L Silverman

    @geg6: Thanks, but as I told efg, I expect to be on official travel for work. A consultant’s job is never done.

  142. 142.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Sab: Lykes red hots. I believe the color was achieved with paprika in the blend.

  147. 147.

    MomSense

    @Baud:

    I’m surprised small varmint isn’t his favorite meat. Shouldn’t a manly romtron eat what he hunts?

  148. 148.

    Corner Stone

    @MomSense: I’m actually kind of curious what Lady Ann Romney’s favorite meat is? She can’t say hotdog, can she?

  149. 149.

    hellslittlestangel

    When your favorite meat is Donald Trump’s ass, saying hot dog seems to make sense.

  150. 150.

    The Other Chuck

    Willard: “I love lamp.”

    ETA: had to know someone beat me to it.

  151. 151.

    Jinchi

    Mitt says, he will be A Strong Voice against that terrible, lawless RINO now occupying the Oval Office

    That’s the conventional wisdom, but Romney resigned as King of the Never-Trumpers the day Trump won the presidency. His harshest words for the president since then:

    I will dispense for now from discussion of the moral character of the president’s Charlottesville statements.

    Other than that it’s been a lovefest:

    Romney praises Trump’s first year in office: It’s similar to things ‘I’d have done’

  152. 152.

    MoCA Ace

    @satby:

    I got three bunches of ramps at the market today and I’m torn between recipes. Leaning toward making a ramp pesto though, and maybe save some for ramp and spinach omelette tomorrow. Num, num, num!

    I was in the work truck yesterday and drove by some public land where there were literally thousands of ramps just unfurling!! They are not much of a going thing up here so they are quite easy to find if you know where to look. Going back tomorrow to pick some.

    That ramp pesto is a great idea… I’ll have to try that.

  154. 154.

    J R in WV

    I’ve been planting half or so of all the bunches of ramps I buy here in the woods around the house for years now.They’re doing so well I don’t have to buy them now, I just go out with a trowel and dig a few up.

    They’re doing so well they’re big and fat, round like onions at the bottom, instead of like scallions. Thanks for the pesto idea, that sound great!

    I plant them right around the house, because if I planted them out in the woods where I can’t keep an eye on them, a neighbor would dig every last one up all at once, and they would once again be extinct in our county. Same with ginseng, all gone now because it’s really valuable.

    I had friends who planted big patches of it in their private property woods, and had it all stolen before it was really big enough to be top dollar valuable. Sad, short-sighted, thoughtless, and illegal. No wonder they vote R, huh?!!

  155. 155.

    KsSteve

    Do you remember when Mitts forgo claiming all his “charitable contributions” on his Federal tax filing when he was running against Obama to keep his tax rate above 10 per cent? I double got dam guaranty he filed an amended return after he lost the election to recoup his deduction. Hopefully his opponent in the upcoming election asks him to release the pertinent tax returns.

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