Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

White supremacy is terrorism.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

The republican ‘Pastor’ of the House is an odious authoritarian little creep.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

Let there be snark.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the gop

They are not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

I would try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

No one could have predicted…

Petty moves from a petty man.

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

I really should read my own blog.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Tuesday Morning Open Thread: BE BEST

Tuesday Morning Open Thread: BE BEST

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Bess Levin, at Vanity Fair — “White House Detainee Melania Trump Actually Has Great “Affinity” for the President, Insists Friend”:

… Over the past 15 months, you may have gotten the impression that First Lady Melania Trump doesn’t like her husband, 45th president Donald Trump, very much. You may have gotten that impression because she didn‘t actually move into the White House until five months after the inauguration, or because she and her husband often travel separately to the same destination, or because she looked happier among the targets of her husband’s ire than she has during the entirety of her marriage, or because she would apparently rather do a stint at Gitmo than touch any part of her husband’s body for any length of time. And new reporting from The Washington Post will probably do little to dissuade you of the notion that the First Lady hates the president about as much as half the country.

According to the Post, the Trumps “are often apart even during their free time,” holidays, and weekends, rarely even eating together when they‘re both at the White House. “They spend very little to no time together,” said a longtime friend of the ex–real-estate developer. Trump, by his own admission, got his wife a s–tty birthday gift. And when they are both under the same roof—where they keep separate bedrooms—Melania goes out of her way to avoid her husband, having “erected a de facto wall between the East Wing,” where her office is, and the West Wing, where Trump lingers when he’s not busy watching TV or whatever else “Executive Time” entails. “She seldom sets foot in the West Wing,” said a person with firsthand knowledge of the situation…

Yet despite doing nothing to dispel the notion that she fantasizes about scaling the White House fence in the middle of the night and getting the first plane out of Dulles back to Slovenia, sources close to the couple insist this is a love story for the ages. “They have an unspoken affinity,” Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, Melania’s longtime gal pal and former adviser told the Post. Without directly commenting on the cornucopia of porn stars and Playboy models the president allegedly banged earlier in the marriage, including the one his lawyer allegedly paid $130,000 to keep quiet, Winston Wolkoff said the First Lady “is a dignified, private person, and she’ll deal with her personal life in private and it’s no one’s business.” …

 
I’d almost feel sorry for her, if only she’d woman up and dump the creep. Yeah, I figured for a long time she was trying to protect her kid’s share of the inheritance, but now — what’s that gonna amount to, something south of 20% of the outstanding civil suits, plus whatever’s left in the Club Fed commissary account when King Donald drops over dead and unmourned?

Reader Interactions

231Comments

  1. 1.

    satby

    Nope, no sympathy for Melania. She’s better looking, but as much of a pig as her husband in her own way. Apologies to pigs.

  2. 2.

    Amir Khalid

    I remember when there were a President and First Lady of The United States so clearly in love that it made people happy just to see them together.

  3. 3.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    You missed the “best” bit of the story. They released a leaflet that they claimed was written by Melania and the FTC until someone pointed out that the leaflet had been published by the Obama Admin in 2014. Someone in Melania’s staff should lose their job over this. It is a totally unnecessary embarrassment for the poor woman.

    https://thinkprogress.org/melania-trump-cyberbullying-handbook-almost-identical-to-obama-era-ec48d9a34007/?utm_campaign=trueAnthem:+Trending+Content&utm_content=5af1591404d3015a6267b0e5&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter

  4. 4.

    Chris Johnson

    From way downthread: when society demands that you ‘be the best’ and over the course of decades, rigs everything in a ‘meritocratic’ way so it’s one big competition and there’s no sympathy for ‘welfare’ or non-aspirational people, over time every role of ‘winner’ gets filled by a monster of some sort or another.

    Men are more likely to be these monsters because they’ll fight harder and are willing to give up more for the sake of winning. Also men are dick-headed puppets to their own genitals (or, lizard brains?) which means some of their most basic animal drives can take nasty turns when they’re under stress.

    And when everybody has to fight for position in everything, everybody is under unthinkable stress. Imagine, being ‘powerful white man in New York City’. THAT’S a list that’s hard to stay on, and damn, the shame of not maintaining a position as ranking powerful white man in New York City.

    I wonder if everyone of consequence is crazy at this point. You can’t even trust the ones who are virtue signalling like mad (or actually doing worthy things). To get in that position requires a ferocity that is self-destructive.

    Just my thoughts this morning. I’m pretty fed up with all the ‘be super exceptional otherwise don’t survive!’ this country has got itself into. It’s the rock upon which modern America was founded, and we’ve turned over the rock, and now it’s literally all slimy icky things under the rock.

  5. 5.

    satby

    Primary day in Indiana. And reliably, the purity progressives are whining about not voting for Blue Dog Joe Donnelly, when three truly odious Republicans are vying to be the R candidate for Senator.

  8. 8.

    Baud

    I can’t believe Schneidermann resigned before CNN got a chance to put up a countdown clock for Hillary’s apology.

  10. 10.

    Waldo

    I hear Melania has agreed to pay Michael Cohen $130,000 so she can deny having sex with the president ever again.

  11. 11.

    OzarkHillbilly

    This is too funny:

    Oliver bought a number of items from Russell Crowe’s recent “divorce auction” to help out struggling Alaskan Blockbuster video stores, including paying AU$7,000 for the jockstrap the actor wore in the film Cinderella Man. That item is now on display in the last Blockbuster in Anchorage.

    Shortly after the auction Crowe tweeted that he was inspired by Oliver’s gesture, hoping to put the $79,788 in total that Oliver had paid for various items towards “something special” that honoured Oliver’s “genuine love for Australians and Australia”.

    “As far as I’m aware I’ve never shown genuine love for Australians or Australia,” Oliver joked on Last Week Tonight on Sunday night. “At most I’ve shown morbid curiosity for it, the way a nine-year-old pokes a dead frog with a stick.”

    Last week Crowe got his evens. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward.

    “Well played Russell Crowe. Well played indeed. That may honestly be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen,” said Oliver.

    “What I’m essentially saying here is we’ve accomplished everything we set out to do on this show. Which means thanks very much everyone, but we are fucking done here. That’s right, let’s shut it down. This show is over.”

    ETA JO’s 4:35 bit is worth the trip

  12. 12.

    germy

    Someone in Melania’s staff should lose their job over this. It is a totally unnecessary embarrassment for the poor woman.

    She's totally the victim here. Same as when she plagiarized Michelle Obama's speech.

  13. 13.

    mai naem mobile

    After watching the actress who portrays Melania on Colbert’s Melania skits, I can’t watch Melania at an event without thinking of Madonna’s Vogue video and song:
    Come on, vogue
    Let your body move to the music (move to the music)
    Hey, hey, hey
    Come on, vogue
    Let your body go with the flow (go with the flow)
    You know you can do it

  14. 14.

    germy

    Fun fact: The White House trumpets “Talking with Kids about Being Online" as "a booklet by First Lady Melania Trump and the Federal Trade Commission." Except for an intro, it's exactly the same thing Obama's FTC put out. pic.twitter.com/AEf6F0gBbt— The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) May 7, 2018

    So they took the Obama administration's words and put Melania's face on the front. Kind of the ne plus ultra of the Trump ethos there.— The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) May 7, 2018

  15. 15.

    Baud

    @germy: I hear the original slogan was supposed to be Be Like Mike, but then Cohen’s office got raided.

  16. 16.

    WereBear

    @Chris Johnson: I’m pretty fed up with all the ‘be super exceptional otherwise don’t survive!’ this country has got itself into.

    Especially when the likes of the “super exceptional” are that Koch son who sells the shirts with moneybags all over them.

    Riiiiiiiiight.

  18. 18.

    trnc

    My mother in law assures me that Michelle Obama’s healthy school lunch initiative was the worst horror visited upon school children in our lifetime because, apparently, no kid had ever thrown out food before. In conclusion, both sides do it, but democrats are worse.

  20. 20.

    Baud

    Some good news yesterday.

    This afternoon, we learned that a divided panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit has sided with the ACLU on the question whether the U.S. government can involuntarily transfer John Doe, a dual U.S.-Saudi citizen whom U.S. forces have held as an enemy combatant in Iraq since last September. None of us have seen the dueling opinions yet (a majority opinion by Judge Sri Srinivasan, joined by Judge Robert Wilkins, and a dissent by Judge Karen LeCraft Henderson), so it is too soon to dig into the merits of the ruling.

    Lawfare

  25. 25.

    Viva BrisVegas

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    John Oliver Koala Chlamydia Ward

    Poor koalas, they are not doing well.

    I used to see the occasional koala in the trees in my backyard, but they’ve been extinct in this district for probably 15 years now.

    The chlamydia is bad enough, but the real threat is land clearing.

    In a suburb to the south of me, on the road in front of a forested area of about 100 acres, there was a large public sign along the lines of “Koala habitat zone. We care for our koalas.”

    One day last year I went past it and the entire forest had been clear felled for a housing estate, not a tree left standing. The sign was still there.

    Don’t be surprised if you see a headline in 20 years or so, talking about the extinction of koalas in the wild.

  29. 29.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    @satby:

    The competition among the “I’m more conservative than these liberals and love Trump more” Republicans is funnier than shit.

    We really needed those FEMA death, er make that re-education, camps for conservatives. Next time, I’m agitating for them.

  31. 31.

    msb

    Shame that all the plagiarism stuff has to come out right on the heels of all those puff pieces as “Melania coming out of the shadows at last”. Sounds like they should just leave her there.

  34. 34.

    Peale

    @Baud: did she ever accept a dollar from him? They can put up a clock demanding that she give it back. Then complain that she’s in the news too much and “makes everything about her”

  35. 35.

    Baud

    Today show spending a great deal more time on the volcano than with Schneidermann. That’s good.

    @Peale: Probably at some point.

  37. 37.

    Jeffro

    @Litlebritdifrnt: just think about how easy it is to be the trumps: all Donald has to do is the opposite of everything Barack ever did, and all Melania has to do is copy everything that Michelle ever did

    Oh, and be white. That too.

  39. 39.

    Baud

    As part of Be Best, Melania should update Goofus and Gallant for the modern age.

    Call it Donald and Barrack.

  42. 42.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud: C’mon, they only sent 6 cars and a helicopter, and they called off the helicopter before it even got there. Perfectly reasonable response to what could have been 3 very dangerous people..

  43. 43.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Baud: Maybe the police should start charging callers when they have to respond to bogus calls. If you call the police for foolishness, you should have to pay a fine.

  48. 48.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @JR: Sometimes his delivery wears a little thin on me, but he is a comedic genius.

    @Baud: But they all had cell phones and you know how much they resemble AR-15s. These are very brave police taking on the very stressful job of stopping innocent people and demanding identification. They probably need group therapy after this group mugging.

  49. 49.

    mozzerb

    @OzarkHillbilly: Are 6 cars and a helicopter normally called in for handling a simple burglary in Rialto? Was there nothing else for them to do that day?

    @SiubhanDuinne: Now be fair. She was just quoting words that someone else had written.

  51. 51.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @germy:
    Now that it’s a trend, and seeing that presentation board, I believe that Melania has little or no input on her First Lady appearances. She’s been told what to say in public as part of her job/marriage for years, anyway. Note we’ve caught him doing it to others. Now she’s phoning it in because her boss is a shitweasel and he won’t fire her and she won’t quit. “Melania Trump here. I agree with all my husband are say and he is super smart and excellent and not racist and I did not write this Melania did say it like that and smile this time. Would you like to hear my child bullying presentation?”

  53. 53.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Love this picture.

    Hillary Clinton poses with the Maori performing arts group Te Kapa Haka o Whāngārā Mai Tawhiti. The former US presidential candidate is touring Australia and New Zealand speaking about her life and career

  54. 54.

    zhena gogolia

    @Baud:

    Slovenian is written in Latin alphabet. But it is Slavic, and most Slavic languages don’t have articles. (Bulgarian has some.)

  56. 56.

    Baud

    @Frankensteinbeck:

    She’s been told what to say in public as part of her job/marriage for years, anyway. Note we’ve caught him doing it to others.

    That’s why I’m less certain about her birther stuff than others here. I’m not convinced she wasn’t just mouthing the words written by others. But who knows for sure?

  57. 57.

    SiubhanDuinne

    The last sentence of this tweet could have come straight from the Soviet Central Committee, or Kim Jong Un’s PR shop:

    Gina Haspel, my highly respected nominee to lead the CIA, is being praised for the fact that she has been, and alway will be, TOUGH ON TERROR! This is a woman who has been a leader wherever she has gone. The CIA wants her to lead them into America’s bright and glorious future!
    37 minutes ago

    Whole thing is creepy.

  61. 61.

    Betty Cracker

    I’ve never had any sympathy for Melania because she serves as Trump’s sock puppet, excusing his racist birther bullshit, trashing immigrants, calling the dozen-plus women who’ve accused him of sexual harassment liars, etc. But if she were to exit the marriage in a blaze of glory, holding a news conference to tell the truth about the no-good bastard, she could redeem herself. She could also become independently wealthy with a tell-all book. I don’t think she has the brains or guts to do that, though.

  62. 62.

    CliosFanboy nee Woodrowfan

    @Baud: only if it’s not a white cat.. white cats get gently taken down and fed fresh tuna.

    (changed to “ne” but now my comments get put into moderator limbo

  63. 63.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud: When I called 911 after my wife’s accident I emphasized it was NOT an emergency, that she was physically OK, and that all we needed was a cop for the accident report but I was unsure if I should call the state police or county sheriff. You’d have thought a school bus full of children had rolled into the holler.

    ETA and we still don’t have an accident report.

  65. 65.

    CliosFanboy ne Woodrowfan

    oops, got put into moderator limbo with my last comment….

  66. 66.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Baud:
    You could make a good argument it doesn’t matter what she believes if she peddles that vile racist crap in public, but I’m damn sure she is required to pretend she agrees with her husband’s dumbest, most vile opinions. With a side dish of the. ‘Trump is so nice to women and children!’ lie that Ivanka delivers with considerably more enthusiasm.

  67. 67.

    Kay

    New sub-scandal in Ohio’s ECOT scandal.

    1. ECOT runs political attack ads against the OH Dept of Ed. 2. State auditor, under political pressure, finally investigates two years after ads surface. 3. Auditor reveals ECOT laundered public funding for ads by running funding thru private companies ECOT owns 4. the ad company they used is owned by ECOT founder’s daughter.

    When I heard the ads I thought “well, that’s illegal” because I know from personal experience that one can’t use public funding for political campaigns for public schools. What I didn’t know was one can set up a shell company and run the public funding thru the shell company, and then set up an ad company, appoint yourself CEO, have the shell company hire your company and pay yourself for the ads.

    We have a “public school” in this state that is actually a family business. Not a small business, either. They pay the teachers about 14 dollars an hour, which makes sense when you realize the teachers don’t have a shell company so are really at the bottom of this food chain. There’s probably not much left.

    Cordray sued ECOT on a different issue involving these shell companies they use to launder public funds when Cordray was AG, back before anyone had heard about the scandal. Well, except me, but I read the OH legal reporter and I don’t think it’s widely read. Understandably. Anyway. If DeWine had pursued Cordray’s lawsuits when DeWine was elected AG instead of dropping them under political pressure from GOP donors, the state would have avoided being robbed of 70 million dollars a year for the last 8 years.

  68. 68.

    Amir Khalid

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The last sentence of this tweet could have come straight from the Soviet Central Committee, or Kim Jong Un’s PR shop:

    When you consider who Trump’s patron is, that’s hardly surprising, is it?

  69. 69.

    PST

    I’m unleashing my inner nine-year-old’s sense of humor here, but sometimes you have to take your cheap laughs where you find them. An editorial in the NY Times today on transportation issues (including taxi medallions) mentions in passing “Michael Cohen, President Trump’s lawyer-cum-fixer.” I love the idea of calling an attorney whose only specialty is coercing a rich man’s sex partners into signing non-disclosure agreements as a “lawyer/cum-fixer.”

  73. 73.

    Peale

    @OzarkHillbilly: part of me wishes that she’d make some off the cuff statement there about Maureen Dowd’s drinking problems that would send the press corps into a tizzy. Complaining that she’s hogging the limelight even though she’s in New Zealand seems that it makes sense in this day and age. Also getting worked up over something 12,000 miles away while ignoring the Babylon is Falling type corruption in their own city that produced Trump. Yeah that would make sense, too.

  75. 75.

    germy

    Melania: Michelle said be better. Well I say be best! Suck on that!

    Everyone: but be best at what?

    Melania: just be best

    Everyone: but we don’t underst—

    Melania: BE BEST

    Everyone: what do you mean by b—

    Melania: JUST BE BEST. BE BESTEST

    Everyone: *backs away slowly*

    https://t.co/MqHlxn9LlJ— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) May 7, 2018

  79. 79.

    Elizabelle

    Would people be imputing all sorts of goodness to Melania if she was not an unusually beautiful Caucasian woman? I am not sure they would. If she looked like Callista, the third Mrs. Gingrich, all faked up?

    Melania is brilliant to stay kind of a cipher, an empty vessel. She seemed plenty smart to me doing interviews before they were married. I was impressed Trump, a buffoon if ever there was one, could attract such an elegant woman. She seems less a circus act than Ivana or Marla. Would guess she loved the Donald less than either of those two, as well. Business arrangement for Melania. Her business is her looks and what doors they open for her.

    A taxonomy of Trump wives.

  80. 80.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Amir Khalid: The Obamas even had a movie made about their courtship. I can’t imagine a romantic movie featuring the Trumps. LOL.

  81. 81.

    Zinsky

    The cruel irony of a spouse of the world’s worst social media abuser lamenting how it is often used “in negative ways” aside, Melania Trump is a Stepford wife automaton f*cking machine who lifelessly sold her genitalia for riches and fame. She knew what she was getting into when she married this soulless, self-absorbed pervert. I have zero pity for her.

    When you make a deal with the Devil, all it gets you is halfway to Hell!

  82. 82.

    Elizabelle

    @Zinsky: In her defense, would you have guessed Trump was even borderline electable? At any time?

    Quel nightmare. It’s a ridiculously funny twist.

  83. 83.

    Kay

    @Baud:

    No. I haven’t seen any new polling. Cordray’s the favorite but Kucinich ran on regulating charter schools – an issue he paid absolutely no attention to until 6 months ago. Even newspapers fell for it- they list it as his issue although Cordray did the actual work and he did it well before it was in the newspaper and everyone knew about it.

    And people believe it. They believe he is the whistle-blower. Which is just infuriating to me.

    I went to the Board of Elections yesterday and the city prosecutor was there and she’s a rabid Republican and she told me they’re worried that the Trump base is coming out and voting for Mary Taylor over DeWine. It would be good for us if Taylor won- she’ll be easier to beat than DeWine BUT it is worrisome that the Trump base is coming out, just in general terms.

    So I think one can look at Taylor’s totals for indication on how energized the Trump base is going forward. She’s the Trump surrogate in the race. That will matter a lot for the general.

  84. 84.

    germy

    @Steeplejack: Agreed. I actually like Laura Benanti’s FLOTUS impression more than the SNL version. Same way I like Anthony Atamanuik’s drumpf much more than Baldwin’s.

    Fun fact: Laura played Supergirl’s mom in the first seasons, but left to do more stage work. She’s a great actress and comedienne. Drama, comedy, music… she can do it all.

  85. 85.

    NotMax

    @Amir Khalid

    Any predictions for Wednesday’s election? Should PH eke out a majority, would they really appoint a 92-year-old as Prime Minister?

  86. 86.

    germy

    @Patricia Kayden:

    I can’t imagine a romantic movie featuring the Trumps. LOL.

    It was quite romantic, though. His first words when he first laid eyes on her: “That one.”

  90. 90.

    Kay

    @germy:

    “Best” is just a weird way to talk about kindness and civility. It’s not a “best” thing. It’s a “we” thing, not an “I” thing.

    Anti-bullying initiatives are not focused on YOU being “best”- they’re focused on you developing some consideration for other people. Other people are the focus, because the problem stems from children who have no empathy and cannot put themselves in the shoes of another or operate properly in community with others. Not a winner/loser scenario.

    It’s an odd approach. It just misses the meat of the thing by a mile and takes it in a whole other direction and I am having trouble seeing how it veers back around from “personal best” to “we”. There can only be one best. That’s what the word means.

  92. 92.

    CliosFanboy ne Woodrowfan

    @Elizabelle: Would people be imputing all sorts of goodness to Melania if she was not an unusually beautiful Caucasian woman? I am not sure they would. If she looked like Callista, the third Mrs. Gingrich, all faked up?

    Maybe. I don’t find her in the least attractive. I never thought any of the Mrs trumps were that attractive…. (Michelle O is a babe! and Laura Bush is cute too if we’re comparing FLOTUS looks.) to be fair, I’m not Melania’s type either. I’m thinner, have all my hair, and am not rich.

    Saw Mrs. Gingrich #3 in a McLean restaurant a few years ago. She actually looks even MORE plastic in person!!!!

  95. 95.

    NotMax

    “Be all that you can be” sort of worked for a while for the Army.

    “Be Best” just sounds like stuttering.

  99. 99.

    Kay

    @schrodingers_cat:

    When my two older children were small they were friends with this whole (large) family who are (liberal) religious people. I was not friends with the parents but I used to go over there to get mine and things. Anyway, they had 6 kids and the kitchen door had a sign on it that said “I’m second”, placed low, like it was for the kids to read. So I asked one of the kids what that means and he said “other people are first- we have to think about them”. That’s the general gist of anti-bullying initiatives. Think of other people. It’s not a “best” scenario. It’s about restraining yourself from being an asshole not because you’re “best” but because your propensity for violence or meanness comes second to other’s people’s right to be treated decently.

  100. 100.

    zhena gogolia

    @Baud:

    I don’t think Schneiderman is a household name anywhere outside the BJ bubble.

  103. 103.

    Immanentize

    I am conflicted about Melania. Her marriage has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship and we know Trump can be cruel and even violent to his wives. And if so, as we know from vast experience, the reason women stay in abusive relationships are complex…

    Still, Slovenia people are dangerous…

  109. 109.

    germy

    The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey Police Department’s top cop is leaving the agency a month after conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh bragged that he had been given a personal escort by the department to a Manhattan fundraising gala.

    The agency said in a statement Monday that Superintendent of Police and Director of Public Safety Michael Fedorko had announced his retirement, “effective immediately.”

    link

  111. 111.

    Immanentize

    Apropos of nothing, I just learned Ivana Trump’s husband’s name is Rossano Rubicondi.

    I leave it to others to make Caesar jokes.

  112. 112.

    germy

    Inside Edition reports drumpf attempted to start a relationship with Melania while he was on a date with another woman. Drumpf reportedly met Melania in 1998 while he was on a date with Norwegian cosmetics heiress Celina Midelfart. Drumpf sent Midelfart to the bathroom so he could talk to Melania. Should have been a Red Flag, as far as believing he’d be a faithful husband.

  115. 115.

    O. Felix Culpa

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    The CIA wants her to lead them into America’s bright and glorious future!

    That’s disturbing language. You’re right, straight out of the Soviet propaganda playbook.

  116. 116.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    OT – Name Minnesota’s junior senator (Franken’s replacement) without googling. Also, tell us if you have any memory of probing questions or big policy pronouncements or brilliant points made by her.

    Thanks in advance.

  119. 119.

    GregB

    The Iran war PR campaign is cranking up. Scaramucci is on MSNBC is now referring to Iran as Hitler.

    There will be a war before the year is out.

  124. 124.

    Steeplejack

    @Elizabelle:

    In [Melania’s] defense, would you have guessed Trump was even borderline electable?

    Yeah, I think Melania’s highest aspiration was to be a wealthy Manhattan matron, with minimal wifely duties, maximum perks and a golden parachute if worse came to worst. Trump winning the presidency must have been the part of the story where she realized exactly how the genie fucked her over by (technically) granting her wish.

  125. 125.

    rikyrah

    About Schneiderman:
    It is disturbing that the Dems don’t have any spine, and have forgotten about due process. That phucking Governor in Missouri actually got due process. He didn’t leave, but he got due process. I’m pissed that Dems don’t seem to believe in due process. The timing for me is SUSPECT. If he’s a freak in his private life, then he’s a freak. I’m going to be blunt. This whole ‘ we gotta believe the women’ stuff without due process….well, I’ve been a Black woman in America for longer than 3 days.

  127. 127.

    germy

    Kamala Harris has pulled out of her commencement speech at the University of California, Berkeley in solidarity with the university’s workers, who are striking over pay inequality. https://t.co/k1zzpAiuWm— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) May 8, 2018

  128. 128.

    rikyrah

    Within an hour of First Lady Melania Trump saying that children deserve every opportunity to enjoy their innocence, Jeff Sessions announced that it is the official policy of the U.S. to rip children out of the arms of their parents and lock them up. pic.twitter.com/K9OKnesEGk

    — Maddow Blog (@MaddowBlog) May 8, 2018

    This just disturbs my very soul.
    And, any muthaphucka that purses their lips to defend this?
    We have nothing to talk about. We have nothing to discuss. I don’t give two shyts about what you think. There IS NO MIDDLE GROUND.
    So, when you purse your phucking lips on trying to tell me that I should ‘try to understand’ Dolt45 voters, THIS IS A POLICY DECISION AMONG MANY, that say to me, I ain’t gotta understand shyt about muthaphuckas who back evil like this.

  130. 130.

    Elizabelle

    @rikyrah: You raise a good point.

    I think Al Franken should have been allowed due process. I think he could have ridden that out. (May I add again, fuck Kirsten Gillibrand.)

    That said, while Schneiderman could have insisted on due process, I am glad he resigned with alacrity, as he did. You don’t want that story in the news, day after day after day. The charges were of an entirely different class of abuse.

    Now, if it does turn out to be a fake story, with ratfucking throughout, bring it back, day after day. All that said, Schneiderman allowed himself to be vulnerable. The heavy drinking, if that’s true, was gonna rise its head at some point too.

    A very sad story, and I hope the former AG and all the accusers get all the therapy and clarity they need. I’m glad he spared us the “is this the day he resigns?” drama, though.

  132. 132.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @GregB: Stephanie Ruhle should be embarrassed to have that clown on her show. And Michael McFaul should be insulted at being asked to treat him as a peer.

    In other news, Robert Torricelli is apparently still with us.

    @Steeplejack: There are parts of that Wolff book I take with a large grain of salt, but I’d bet the farm on the stuff about her being paid off to postpone divorce proceedings till after the election they thought he’d lose being true.

  133. 133.

    Immanentize

    @rikyrah: I almost never disagree with what you see and say, but this time, I do. Schneiderman has put the bigger issue — the future of our country — before his own fight against rat fucking (if that is what it was). Jane Mayer is am awesome journalist and did her job well. If, as we believe, the NY AG’s office is in a number of cases Mueller’s investigation backup system, Schneiderman was right to leave immediately and fight it out off the field. These are rough times for people trying to do the right thing.

  134. 134.

    NotMax

    @Amir Khalid

    BN has been entrenched since, what, independence? Could it be time for a change?

    Personally I expect BN is maintain an ultra-slim majority but lose the popular vote, but of course that’s a far away gadfly’s viewpoint.

  135. 135.

    germy

    Wow. Cyrus Vance Jr. is the corrupt Manhattan DA who allowed Harvey Weinstein, Ivanka Trump, and Donald Trump Jr. to get away with crimes, in exchange for bribes. Schneiderman was investigating Vance for that. Now Vance is investigating Schneiderman for assaulting women. https://t.co/uvseGGHgqa— Barney ? (@barney1776) May 8, 2018

  139. 139.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @rikyrah: also, too

    Benny Sarlin @ BenjySarlin
    People will say this is hypocritical because of President Trump, but the First Lady’s own response to an online anti-Semitic abuse campaign against juliaioffe for basic reporting was that “she provoked them” even as she distanced herself from it

    I have no memory of this, but it’s no surprise if she’s no better than she oughta be, as one of my uncles used to say. But if she’s making trump and his elder spawn unhappy behind the scenes, I’ll take it.

  140. 140.

    Elizabelle

    @Immanentize: Yup. Schneiderman put the common good above fighting it out for his own vindication, in public.

    Any idea how Preet Bharara and Cy Vance Jr. get along? What’s the scoop?

  142. 142.

    Elizabelle

    @rikyrah: I would love to see Al Franken return to politics or public service.

    My guess is that pushing him out hasn’t worked out that well for the Democratic wimmens, except among their Villagers courtiers. Went over well with the closeted Republicans who profess to be objective observers in their media jobs. (Fuck them too!)

  143. 143.

    jonas

    “They have an unspoken affinity,” Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, Melania’s longtime gal pal and former adviser told the Post.”

    Wow. If that’s the best your best friend can come up with to describe your marriage….damn.

  147. 147.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Here’s a story I had completely missed in the swirling chaos of everything else that’s going on (Buzzfeed link).

    A high-ranking Department of Commerce official was escorted out of the department’s Washington, DC, headquarters by security last Thursday, according to three sources at the agency knowledgeable about the matter.

    It is unknown why Elizabeth Erin Walsh was removed from the building, but the sources told BuzzFeed News that there’s an internal investigation underway that involves her, although they could not provide details about the nature of the probe.

    Not all that long ago, this might have been a story to follow and discuss. These days, I expect to have completely forgotten about it by, say, Thursday.

  148. 148.

    ARoomWithAMoose

    @GregB:

    Yeah, local fox affiliate on in this waiting room, I guess the GOP is rolling this product out instead of ebola/zika/fear of brown people for the election. Remember in 2002 they manage to pick up seats and in the senate and house in what should have been a post tech crash slaughter.

  150. 150.

    Elizabelle

    @GregB: I don’t think so. The American people are not behind a war, and not behind Trump, as loud as the crew of fools who support him are.

    I hope that Trump’s eventual fall takes out big media that would be fanning the flames for a war. It’s expensive, kills untold people, and not necessary.

  151. 151.

    jonas

    @rikyrah: Yeah, but this wasn’t allegations of boorish, frat-boy shenanigans like Franken was accused of. This was some seriously messed up shit, and given the importance and prominence of the NY AG office, particularly in our current moment, he needed to go. He’s fully within his rights to try to defend himself, but you can’t really defend yourself from assault charges while also attempting to carry out the duties of public office.

  152. 152.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady):

    We are likely to wind up with a CIA director who can’t go to the EU without fear of being charged with war crimes.

    Sure would like to see someone (or someones) on the Senate Intelligence Committee raise that during the hearings tomorrow.

  155. 155.

    rikyrah

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    A high-ranking Department of Commerce official was escorted out of the department’s Washington, DC, headquarters by security last Thursday, according to three sources at the agency knowledgeable about the matter.

    It is unknown why Elizabeth Erin Walsh was removed from the building, but the sources told BuzzFeed News that there’s an internal investigation underway that involves her, although they could not provide details about the nature of the probe.

    is she a Dolt45 appointee?

  156. 156.

    rikyrah

    Melania is an empty grifter who lied about her education and her immigration. She joined the birther crusade, tried to sell her schlocky products on the WH web site. She’s lazy and can barely hold it together to pretend to be a First Lady. https://t.co/c6x7kxv5kP

    — meta (@metaquest) May 8, 2018

  157. 157.

    germy

    If you're an African leader or an adversary of the US and you commit war crimes, you go to the Hague. If you're a US operative who commits war crimes, you get a David Ignatius column pointing out your good sides – or a place on the Berkeley Law faculty or a hug from Ellen #USA pic.twitter.com/d8V0ctdwSY— Glenn Greenwald (@ggreenwald) May 8, 2018

  160. 160.

    No Drought No More

    “I live for my wife and my kids,” [Michael Cohen] has reportedly told friends in recent weeks. “I’d die for my wife and my kids. And this is all ruining their lives.” [source TPM & Vanity Fair).

    OK then. Forget America altogether. The question for Cohen apparently now is: does he love his family well enough to tell the truth to prosecutors?

  162. 162.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @rikyrah:

    Yes. Previously something something in Personnel at the WH.

    ETA: Former Goldman Sachs executive, but that was some years ago.

  163. 163.

    rikyrah

    Hollering ???

    All my aunts are teachers and, I can just imagine my Aunt Deborah goin off about this… “Be Best? What kinda ghetto ass shit is that?! Be Best? How bout Be Gone? You and your trick-ass husband!”

    — Cyrus McQueen (@CyrusMMcQueen) May 8, 2018

  165. 165.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @rikyrah: you can almost hear trump looking at that literature. “Obama said Be Better? Well what’s better than better? Best! Be Best! Make it Be Best. That’s brilliant, that’s the best. Nothing’s better than best, is there? Kellyanne, is there a more best? Bester? No? Okay. Do that. Slap Melania’s picture on it. Not that one, right? A nice one? Best.”

  172. 172.

    Miss Bianca

    @OzarkHillbilly: oh, my Lord, I had seen reference to this story but didn’t realize it was three *women* they were pulling out the SWAT response for. Seriously?!

  173. 173.

    cintibud

    @Kay: Have no particular info on the Ohio primary, just want to note that while I’ve seen TV adds and mailers for Cordray I’ve seen absolutely nothing about Kucinich here in SW Ohio. Kucinich may be popular around Cleveland but down here he’s pretty much viewed as a clown. I can’t imagine that the vote will be close.

  176. 176.

    Kay

    @cintibud:

    Kucinich may be popular around Cleveland

    Maybe, but when R’s redistricted Kucinich ran against Marcy Kaptur in a primary and Kaptur is Toledo-based and Cleveland is much bigger than Toledo and he still lost.

    So. I don’t know about his alleged popularity. In Cleveland, even. Because Cleveland should have beaten Toledo just on size and it didn’t.

  178. 178.

    NotoriousJRT

    @Baud:
    I’m not convinced she wasn’t just mouthing the words written by others. But who knows for sure?
    Who cares for sure? She’s a participant, and she has agency. Fuck her lazy ass.

  179. 179.

    Miss Bianca

    @Elizabelle: Feeling frisky enough to jump on the couch, which is a no-no at the Mountain Hacienda (I don’t mind it, personally, but D does). He is healing up nicely, and will get his shots and his chipping on Saturday.

    He makes the most adorable little piggy grunt noises when he is being petted, I am almost dead from teh cuteness overload.

  181. 181.

    Kay

    @sdhays:

    There are anti, anti-bullying parents ( I know- what?) and their basic argument is “my kid gets to stomp all over other kids because he or she is powerful”

    It’s really a mindset. You can’t get where you want to go if it’s all about “best” and “winning”. What we’re essentially trying to do is instill some humility and thoughtfulness and we codify that in specific behavior rules. Parents will accept “no bullying is the rule” because it’s nuetral- it doesn’t speak to the character deficit that makes the rule essential. I mean, really, you shouldn’t have to tell a 12 year old that they can’t savage classmates – they should learn that outside school- but you DO have to tell them that.

    One can’t be the “best” at being decent because decent doesn’t come from people who think they are “best”- it comes from the opposite idea. That one doesn’t have to be “best” to deserve decency. One can just “be”. Not about ranking. Ranking is the bullying mindset.

    She would get much closer with a kind of Zen-like “just be” slogan :)

    This probably shows how conventional I am but a lot about the Trump’s is just fucking weird. They don’t seem to understand some common social language. Like they came from some planet where ordinary ideas don’t have any currency.

  184. 184.

    Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)

    The juxtaposition of Black Cube digging for dirt on the family of Iran deal supporters and the NY AG story makes me wonder.

    ETA: Not that I think that the AG was wrongly accused, mind you. And he needed to resign. I just wonder. And whoever the Ds nominate for any prominent office is going to have to be squeaky clean.

  186. 186.

    rikyrah

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Alex Wagner @ alexwagner
    Via @ NYmag, a persuasive argument that it was President Trump — not RNC finance bigwig Elliot Briody—who paid $1.6M in hush money to silence a Playboy Playmate pregnant with his child:

    Avenatti pretty much said this on Morning Joke a couple of weeks ago, and nobody in the MSM would touch it.

    He said that under oath, Cohen never claimed Briody AS A CLIENT.

  187. 187.

    mozzerb

    @No Drought No More: Or the more alarming possibility: does he love his family well enough to maintain the necessary omerta in order to protect them from his associates? (Not TrumpCo in this case — just the people they’ve been playing footsie with all these years.)

  189. 189.

    Steve in the ATL

    @germy: ironically, David Ignatius writes really good soy novels that don’t pull that shit

    @SiubhanDuinne: and no one gets l Goldman Sachs is clean

    @Kay: my stepfather used to say that people who find inner peace are the only happy ones, but they never really accomplish anything

  190. 190.

    Corner Stone

    @Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady):

    ETA: Not that I think that the AG was wrongly accused, mind you. And he needed to resign. I just wonder. And whoever the Ds nominate for any prominent office is going to have to be squeaky clean.

    The failure of any kind of rational juxtaposition of the two parties on abuse/domestic violence/sexual misconduct has really put us (D party / voters) into a box.

  191. 191.

    gene108

    The juxtaposition of Black Cube digging for dirt on the family of Iran deal supporters and the NY AG story makes me wonder.

    You think The New Yorker, Ronan Farrow, and Jane Meyer got played by Republican ratfuckers?

  193. 193.

    gene108

    @rikyrah:

    Basically get the folks, who wend their kids to public schools pissed off at the teachers for raising their taxes. I’m afraid it will work only too well.

  194. 194.

    Gex

    @Immanentize: And in contrast to Franken, I think it would be much easier to find someone who can do a comparable job. In the Senate, with seniority and committees and public recognition there was a huge drop off in efficacy. I don’t think the same holds true for AG.

  195. 195.

    Corner Stone

    @Kay:

    because decent doesn’t come from people who think they are “best”- it comes from the opposite idea. That one doesn’t have to be “best” to deserve decency. One can just “be”. Not about ranking. Ranking is the bullying mindset.

    Unfortunately the entire education system is set up for the exact opposite outcomes. You can still be decent to others but schools put the fear of ranking into you. It’s impossible to not notice it.

  196. 196.

    Steve in the ATL

    @gene108: Dan Rather did, so don’t dismiss it out of hand. We have to perform our due diligence on every one of these accusations because of the republicans’ history of and skill at ratfucking.

    There seemed to be some confusion on this last night. People saying “don’t rush to judgment!” weren’t saying that assaulting women is ok; they (we) were saying “let’s be sure this is real before we demand his resignation”. From his swift resignation, it appears that the charges are valid, therefore both factions should be satisfied.

  197. 197.

    Dorothy A. Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady)

    @gene108: I don’t necessarily think they got played. And I don’t know how the reporting worked. But is it possible that witnesses were sought out, contacted, and prodded to speak? Maybe connected to one another. They sound truthful to me. It’s the timing I wonder about, given the NY AG’s role in the Trump legal cases.

  199. 199.

    Miss Bianca

    @Yarrow: unknown at this juncture, but the vet who looked him over first is the one doing the vax clinic on Saturday, so I will be sure to ask! My best guess, based on his size, is that he’s somewhere around 12 weeks old.

  200. 200.

    The Moar You Know

    The American people are not behind a war, and not behind Trump, as loud as the crew of fools who support him are.

    @Elizabelle: In mid-2001 even the most diehard Republicans were openly stating that George Bush would be a one-term president. And nobody in this country had heard of Al-Queda or gave a shit about anything in the Middle East.

    In 2002 the GOP picked up seats in the Senate and House, something that rarely happens in midterms. In 2004, Bush won handily.

    This is happening.

  203. 203.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Steve in the ATL: @germy: ironically, David Ignatius writes really good soy novels that don’t pull that shit
    thanks for the heads-up, I’m always looking for good spy novels and would’ve given DI a pass because of his columns

    people who find inner peace are the only happy ones, but they never really accomplish anything

    that makes me laugh and wince at once, for reasons personal and political.

  204. 204.

    Kay

    @Corner Stone:

    Oh, I don’t think you’re giving kids enough credit. They can get these two ideas. One is the idea of achievement- grades and who is the fastest runner or “smartest” and the other is about how they have a responsibility to treat people decently no matter where those people come in on the current pecking order.

    “Best” has a role! It’s just not everything. There are a whole range of areas where “best” just doesn’t apply. They can get this. They DO get it. If kids understand anything it’s the concept of “fair”. They march under the flag of fair. They have elaborate social codes – ask them who gets to hit who in a “fair” manner and it’s like the Geneva Conventions- “well, he’s BIGGER and he hit me so HARD but OTOH his father died so maybe mitigating factors…?”

    I don’t think they’ve put much thought into this, the Trump Administration. It’s not easy. It’s not like “be your personal BEST!” like in a magazine. It’s more like diplomacy.

  208. 208.

    Steve in the ATL

    “It says ‘Bee best’, and there’s a picture of a bee!”

    —Ralph Wiggam

  209. 209.

    Corner Stone

    @Kay: I don’t think I said kids don’t understand both concepts, only that they can’t escape the structure of it all. Like all things Trump, I also disagree strongly with the inane concept of “Be Best”. Kids understand decency, even if the impulse to act otherwise can sometimes flare up.

  210. 210.

    Kay

    @Corner Stone:

    “:Let’s Move!” So that’s a “we”. Let us move together in harmony for wellness not matter if we suck at sports or not, maybe especially if we suck at sports and…people have said “easy out” when we were up at bat, say that happened and it was very hurtful…. :) Let us move despite that, where it was a competition.

    There can be athletic competitions! There can be the best movers! But that’s a different idea altogether.

  211. 211.

    burnspbesq

    @Baud:

    Not even a tiny bit surprising that something like that would happen in Rialto, Calibama.

  212. 212.

    Amir Khalid

    @NotMax:
    If I recall correctly, BN lost the popular vote in 2013 but the constituencies are heavily gerrymandered in their favour and they still won a Parliamentary majority. Najib’s pissed off a lot of Malaysians to an extent not matched by any of the previous Alliance/Barisan PMs — not the Tunku, not his dad, not his uncle, not his former mentor Dr M. That’s got to mean less support for Barisan, but this is uncharted political territory for us and I don’t see a good way to predict how much support Barisan loses. I do think Najib wants at least as long a tenure as PM as Dr M had, and will do anything to secure that.

  214. 214.

    Fair Economist

    @gene108: I would not be shocked if the right wing dug the dirt on Schneiderman. However, it seems to be genuine, toxic, dirt. It is very different from Franken, where the initial accusations were manufactured and the media managed to create a bullshit blizzard combining false accusations of moderate misdeeds with actual occurances of possibly inappropiate hugs.

  216. 216.

    Jay C

    One thing I noticed today: the official WH response to Melania’s “Be Best” rollout has basically been a castigation of the press (in fact, they use the term “opposition media”) for their perceived failings in providing suitably respectful coverage of the FLOTUS’s program (i.e., finding and publicizing the plagiarism). Which leads me to think that was the whole point: good coverage, and they can crow about it: any negatives? They can whine and carp about “media bias”. Win-win….

  217. 217.

    The Pale Scot

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    They released a leaflet that they claimed was written by Melania and the FTC until someone pointed out that the leaflet had been published by the Obama Admin in 2014.

    Lazy Fuckers. They all are so use to grabbing whatever they need to keep con up and running right at that moment and figure they can just grab something else when needed. The rubes will forget soon enough.

  219. 219.

    The Pale Scot

    @MomSense:

    Shouldn’t it say be the best or be your best?

    Grammer? Like they care.. First step to creating a functionally illiterate society that can’t hold a thought for more than a moment

  220. 220.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @The Moar You Know:

    This is happening.

    I counterargue: There has been no 911. It was an extraordinary and unprecedented event. Trump is not Bush, who came into office dedicated to toppling Saddam Hussein and being a great war hero president. Trump came into office dedicated to whining about how mean Iran is, and there is a huge difference. The military is not in the shape it was then. Launching any kind of military operation against Iran will be a thousand times harder, and involve people telling Trump ‘No, that is not physically possible’ a lot. Bush was a little bit chickenshit, liking to strut while sending other people to die for him. Trump is a chickenshit of mythic proportions, whose bluster has time and again turned out to be meaningless lies he’s too cowardly to act on. The people around him who are hawks are people he’s been talking to for ages. They are not new influences, they just didn’t have official positions. Official positions if anything makes them weaker, because Trump is such a fucking coward he prefers to get advice from people who don’t make any decisions for him. The administration has been hawking war almost nonstop since day one, with someone, anyone, everyone. Jack fucking shit has been done, with the only really aggressive act turning out to have been France’s doing.

    This is not happening.

    EDIT – Wait, I left out the most important part: Historically, war and acts of terrorism catapult up Republican support numbers, because they’re seen as the tough guys. Trump has had several such events… and nothing happened. He’s incapable of leveraging them, the shine has worn off in our extreme polarized atmosphere, or most likely both. This dog can no longer be wagged.

  222. 222.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @Vor:
    Even that wouldn’t do it anymore. This is not the same public Bush had behind him. If a horrible act of war or terrorism like 911 happens, the next day Trump will ask what the polls say, and they’ll say ‘Half the country blames you.’ Then he’ll go hide under his blankets and tweet angrily until ice cream time.

  223. 223.

    carol ann

    Melania is best plagiarist.

    I honestly suspect that Donny had someone sabotage her in revenge for her poll numbers going up.

  226. 226.

    Heidi Mom

    @Steve in the ATL: For modern-day spy novels, allow me to second the recommendations of David Ignatius and Alex Berenson. For anyone interested in spy novels set in earlier eras, the novels of Alan Furst set in WWII and preceding years are brilliant. Also, I really liked the filmed version of Furst’s The Spies of Warsaw with David Tennant, although it didn’t seem to get much notice. The Bernie Gunther novels by the late Philip Kerr, set before, during, and after WWII, are also good, although they’re more in the detective/police procedural vein.

  227. 227.

    The Moar You Know

    And nothing of note happened between “mid-2001” and 2002.

    @Chyron HR: Kind of my point. Bush got his opportunity dropped in his lap, today’s GOP will simply make it happen. And it will work. Americans fucking love war. Our media especially. They will sell it real good.

    Especially six-month bombing raids that destroy a nation’s infrastructure without getting any ground troops involved, which is what they are going to do, if you were wondering.

  228. 228.

    rikyrah

    @The Pale Scot:

    They released a leaflet that they claimed was written by Melania and the FTC until someone pointed out that the leaflet had been published by the Obama Admin in 2014.

    I love that the Twitter researchers busted them in almost real time. They didn’t even get time to spread the lie. Nailed within the first hour of rollout…

    BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  230. 230.

    Tehanu

    @germy:

    I actually like Laura Benanti’s FLOTUS impression more than the SNL version. Same way I like Anthony Atamanuik’s drumpf much more than Baldwin’s.

    Finally, somebody else who’s noticed how brilliant both Benanti and Atamanuik are!

  231. 231.

    Sebastian

    Ad Melania:
    I think she looks like Trump, especially her mouth when closed and her eyes. I also think that’s why Trump is attracted to her because all he sees is himself, he is so self centered he wants to hve sex with himself. Same reason he has the hots for Ivanka.

    If he could, he would turn all humans to look like him. Come to think about it, all narcissistic dictators do that by imposing the Leader’s haircut, style, fashion, etc

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