Professional should mean both one who does something for money and one qualified to undertake the specific activity. And then there’s this moron!
An alligator roaming through a central Florida neighborhood head-butted a trapper, knocking him out cold in a last-ditch effort to escape. https://t.co/ZkGU5QYwaF pic.twitter.com/YzZNP26iug
— NBC4 Columbus (@nbc4i) June 7, 2018
And from another angle:
ANGRY GATOR: A restless alligator wandering a neighborhood in Ocoee, Florida, knocked out the trapper with his snout and struck a female police officer with his tail as they attempted to lift the animal into the bed of truck. https://t.co/OFdgEGuLb9 pic.twitter.com/OS0KEXCjIb
— World News Tonight (@ABCWorldNews) June 6, 2018
Stay out of the swamp…
Open thread!
dmsilev
Clearly a marketing stunt for the upcoming Jurassic Park movie.
Emma
Am I terrible because I’m laughing?
SWMBO
Was the gator charged with resisting arrest?
Adam L Silverman
@Emma: No.
Adam L Silverman
@SWMBO: Nope. But the big grin on the cops face when the trapper gets hit and goes down is priceless.
Elizabelle
Respect the gator.
Trapper who got headbutted was getting a little too friendly-like with all the tapping (aggravating)?
Hope that is one reptile that will stay in the wild.
satby
That poor gator.
Exhausted after doing two markets today, so going to bed.
Hoping the idiot in chief doesn’t start WWIII overnight.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
so was he testing to see if a sedative had kicked in? because I was starting to get pissed off at the way he was taunting that animal (as I thought), and those things scare me.
dexwood
The trapper is a cruel asshole who deserved his payback. Fuck him. Macho man showing off.
The Fat Kate Middleton
Laughing here, too. I heard the guy talking about driving thru the Everglades. My husband and I did the same for the first time last February. My god. BIG alligators everywhere! Just about the time I reminded my husband about pythons and driving over them, he asked, as we felt a big thump under our wheels, “You mean that one?” I’m afraid my response was not measured. (He truly did not see it before hitting it.)
rikyrah
Go gator
Amir Khalid
I’m not sure what part of the gator trapping process requires the trapper to get all up in the gator’s grill and slap it around like that. The poor creature is not having a good day as it is, and it’s hard to blame him for getting ticked off about that.
Mnemosyne
Our anxious cat Charlotte wanted to be snuggled after being left alone with the other cats all day, but she’s also pissed that she got left alone with the other cats all day, so she tried to bite me while she was purring her head off because I was petting her.
I mention this because she snaps like a crocodile, though she rarely draws blood.
And, no, she’s not biting because she starts to feel threatened. She’s a love biter — when she gets really, really comfortable, she starts wanting to bite the cats and/or people she’s snuggling with. This is what you get when you keep the kitten you found in a parking lot. ?
Viva BrisVegas
@The Fat Kate Middleton:
So, driving over Florida pythons, good thing or bad thing?
Mart
Pretty awesome ninja gator skills with a one two head butt tail bitch slap. Is there a reason why they just do not kill the gators and nasty critters like feral hogs from the get go? Not like they are endangered?
Ohio Mom
On another note, what’s with efg? I heard he was in the hospital, checked in on a thread to say he was still kicking, and haven’t heard anything since.
I miss his cheerful presence.
moonbat
Floriduh! Man strikes again.
Brachiator
Crocs and gators have been winning, recently
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/crocodile-eats-small-dog-australia-after-years-being-chased-pippa-the-terrier/
debbie
Karma’s a bitch.
Elizabelle
@Viva BrisVegas: Driving over Burmese pythons — in Florida — a good thing. They’re predators who do not belong. Sometimes with 80 eggs in their bellies. Don’t brake for that python.
Also: hauling up snakehead fish in Virginia and elsewhere. A good thing. And hear they are very good eating.
Steeplejack
@Ohio Mom:
Latest update from efgoldman, as far as I know (last Friday).
No information different from what you already know. Just offering the original source.
Eljai
@Brachiator: That kind of sounds like one of Aesop’s fables. I never cared for them.
Adam L Silverman
Well the Washington Capitals have won the Stanley Cup. Ovechkin will likely take the cup to Russia to show it to Putin. if Putin behaves the way he did with Bob Kraft’s Super Bowl ring, he’ll just take it and keep it.
Elizabelle
@Steeplejack: Yep. That’s efg all right.
Wishing him the best.
dexwood
@Adam L Silverman:
How’s that go? Penetration at all levels.
cynthia ackerman
@Mnemosyne:
Mine is named Mako, because when she gets affectionate she kneeds and rabbit kicks like a cross between a Mako shark and a border collie. Also rescued from a convenience store parking lot as a tiny kitten.
Ruckus
@Ohio Mom:
Was wondering the same thing. Hope he’s OK.
mainmata
OT. Finally, the first time in a generation a DC team of any major sport has won any national championship..The Washington Capitols Ice Hockey Team oin their International Championship (called the Stanley Cup) for the first time ever by narrowly defeating a Las Vegas first year start-up team. Good for them.
Steve in the ATL
Which one of these gator stories has been optioned by Adam Sandler for Waterboy 2?
allium
I, for one, support our crocodylomorphic overlords.
Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)
I’m back
Anyone remember HBO Storybook Musicals
Viva BrisVegas
@Brachiator:
There is video online of the incident. I would suggest avoiding it if you come across it.
If you do want to see crocs, the Adelaide River is a good place to start. There are specimens up to 20 feet long in there. They’ve been protected for nearly 50 years now and have gotten back to pre-settlement numbers and sizes.
Platonailedit
Guessing syg ‘law’ doesn’t apply to gator intruders?
Old Dan and Little Anne
@Adam L Silverman: I figure Ovechkin is going to visit Putin at the White House.
Platonailedit
Congrats Toronto for electing your own donny dick. Numbnutz.
Adam L Silverman
@Old Dan and Little Anne: He does need to do the yearly eval in person…
trollhattan
They did NOT hydrate.
chris
@Platonailedit: Toronto didn’t vote for Frod. It’s the expected conservative/liberal, rural/metro split with a few exceptions. I haven’t lived there in almost 20 years but I kinda thought this would happen.
https://www.thestar.com/news/ontario_election.html
B.B.A.
Here’s a dumb question from a stupid American: will Doug Ford and the Tories try to shut down weed sales in Ontario? My understanding of the new Canadian law is that provinces will need to opt in to allowing commercial sales, otherwise it’s just decriminalized by default. The Wynne government established a subsidiary of the local alcohol monopoly to sell weed, but what Wynne giveth, Ford can taketh away.
khead
#TeamAlligator
That’s what the jackass gets for smacking the gator in the head while the gator is restrained. I’ve had cats try to kill me for lesser offenses.
The Dangerman
@SWMBO:
Tastes like Chicken.
trollhattan
“Trapper” dude needs to switch to pythons. Must-see teevee.
Brachiator
More stupid animal tricks, snake division
Link
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/severed-rattlesnake-head-bites-man-who-decapitated-it/
khead
@Brachiator:
Needs moar Jesus.
eemom
The Caps, short for Capitals, a local hockey team, won something called the Stanley Cup. Surely *I* can’t be the first one to remark upon this? ?
Anyway, just hoping the dickwad in chief invites THEM to the WH, and THEY don’t show up, thereby proving deecee is just as cool as Philly.
Ohio Mom
@Ruckus: We had this problem the first time efg ended up in the hospital — no way to contact him and show our support.
chris
@B.B.A.:
Probably not, weed company stocks will be airborne tomorrow and they’re already worth billions. He’s not smart but I doubt he’ll want to mess with Bay Street. (Think Wall St.) Also he’ll need the tax money because of course he’ll cut taxes.
Steeplejack (phone)
@Ohio Mom:
I think Subaru Diane said she was going to e-mail him (and/or his wife) tomorrow if we hadn’t heard anything this week.
West of the Rockies
Down goes Frasier!
Adam L Silverman
@eemom: I commented on it an hour ago:
https://balloon-juice.com/2018/06/07/floriduh-gator-better-leave-this-to-a-professional-err-um/#comment-6900110
Perhaps you should peruse the comments to see if something has been mentioned?//
Adam L Silverman
@Ohio Mom: I had a word with him when he came back that he should have someone email one of the front pagers so we’d know what was going on. He indicated he would. My guess is it got lost in the shuffle. Or someone isn’t checking their email.
eemom
@Adam L Silverman:
Quite right. I took a quick look and didn’t see it, but I should have been more thorough.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: checking in with B-J is not the top priority of the Goldmans? Fuckem!
Adam L Silverman
@eemom: I was teasing, hence the sarc tags. If you’re a long suffering Caps fan: congratulations!
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: He probably thinks you’ve got the familial healthcare issue comment market cornered and is afraid you’ll smack him with copyright violations or trademark infringements or something.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: good point, though I’m surprised I didn’t get an “off my corner, ho!” message from him
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: He’ll get around to it.
opiejeanne
@khead: Thou shall not tempt God, which is what these yahoos are doing.
opiejeanne
@Brachiator: How could he not know this was a possiblity? This was one of those things that all kids used to know, one of the chunks of folk knowledge/scary stories that all kids knew (whether they were true or not), like the name of the music played by the orchestra while the Titanic sank, or that H bees wouldn’t sting you because they were really flies, or the lyrics for all of those rude rhymes and songs that every third grader performs at dinner thinking it was something clever, unique, and new, or that you could get drunk on Coke and aspirin.
khead
@opiejeanne:
God definitely has a sense of humor. My old man knew Dewey Chafin. Dad was a church going man, but he always said the snake handling folks are nuts.
Major Major Major Major
@opiejeanne:
I’m doing slush reading for an SF/F magazine and this is a popular theme! God fanfic is fun.
opiejeanne
@khead: Yeah, I laughed too when I saw that.
In my book, ducks are evidence that God has a sense of humor. I mean, everything about them is hilarious and when they quack they sound like they’re laughing.
A Ghost To Most
@Adam L Silverman: I’ve been following the Caps for 35 years. This is wonderful, but I don’t know to act.
lgerard
Texans try to figure out WTF trump is talking about
with the obligatory explanation
Adam L Silverman
@Brachiator: Lot of snake related stupidity…
http://www.wdsu.com/article/police-shoot-kill-knife-wielding-man-doing-ritualistic-dance-with-snake/21058129
Adam L Silverman
@A Ghost To Most: I think you’re supposed to go out in the street and light cars on fire or something.//
Adam L Silverman
@lgerard: My guess is someone showed him footage of the “Cajun Navy” folks who came from Louisiana with their boats to help in the rescue effort, that person reckoned they didn’t need to explain to him what was going on, and he watched it and understood it as a bunch of folks decided to go boating during the hurricane.
Steve in the ATL
@opiejeanne: and the best French fries are made with duck fat.
Ketchup? Mayo? Bernaise? Well, that’s the subject of much debate.
lgerard
@Adam L Silverman:
I think journalists could just cut and paste this line into every single article that quotes the dotard
Yutsano
@Adam L Silverman: I remember way back in 2000 or so there was a “riot”on Fraternity Row at Washington State University. A friend was telling me about it online. I was a bit puzzled as I had just driven by there not long before and all I saw was a big party with a burning couch. I’m pretty sure it was just something to get Republicans riled up.
Another note: I got your e-mail Adam. Let me talk to my mom about it as she’s his caretaker and would need to agree to anything like that. Having said that, she would like it if he would share his stories too. I don’t want them to get lost to old age. I can run it by her this weekend as I probably won’t have a chance tomorrow.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Adam L Silverman: What about the long suffering Golden Knights fans, eh?
A Ghost To Most
@Adam L Silverman: Maybe if I still drank. Hopefully, the fans will be jubilant but peaceful.
Villago Delenda Est
…and the gator’s name is….DONALD TRUMP!
And now you know the rest of the story!
Sister Golden Bear
It’s not just Australia where everything can kill you…
Adam L Silverman
@Steve in the ATL: Malt vinegar, salt, and HP brown sauce. Or cocktail sauce.
Adam L Silverman
@lgerard: Just create a macro or something.
Adam L Silverman
@Yutsano: No worries. I’m not offended if he doesn’t want to go forward. Also, I can also put you all in touch with the appropriate folks from the Army Heritage Education Center to have it done properly according to their protocols and then archived by them.
Adam L Silverman
@?BillinGlendaleCA: It’s Vegas! I’m sure they’ll find something to divert their sorrows.//
?BillinGlendaleCA
@Adam L Silverman:
Hookers, Adam, hookers.
Phylllis
The best part of the video is when the gator rolls off the back of the truck with a ’round two m*therf*ckers’ attitude.
Second best is watching the guy’s knockoff Oakleys go flying into the sunset.
TriassicSands
@Emma:
No, and I’d be laughing harder if the gator had been able to take a chunk out of the jerk’s leg who kept smacking the gator on the snout. Unless repeatedly smacking an alligator on the snout is something they enjoy, I’d say the man doing it was tormenting the alligator. Why? To show everyone just how cool he is?
I understand that children torment animals — in time most, I hope, will learn that it is wrong. But, why an adult would feel the need to do anything but transfer that alligator as quickly, quietly, and painlessly (especially for the alligator) to a safe place is beyond me.
TriassicSands
@Mart:
It’s good to see you have such respect for life. I guess there isn’t any room on the planet except for you and the few critters you deign to find acceptable.
List of animals to be killed:
Lions
Tigers
Grizzly bears
Leopards
Elephants
Cougars
Polar bears
Hippos
Cape buffalo
Sharks (all, why waste time identifying dangerous and harmless)
Leopard seals
Alligators
Crocodiles
All poisonous snakes
All venomous insects
All poisonous amphibians
Etc.
Just a starter list. Soon they’ll all be gone or endangered and then what, Mart, we try to save them?
We may or may not have “too many” alligators in the US. We definitely have too many people and many of them are a lot more harmful than alligators. Your solution?
barbequebob
@TriassicSands:
Another thing to consider with Mart’s comment
The alligators are wild, native species living in their natural range, they belong where they are and were there before current human population moved in. Every effort should be made to not harm them
In contrast, feral hogs are domesticated animals that have escaped and have reverted to a wild existence. They are not native to the areas they are living in and usually inflict a lot of damage to the ecosystems where they occur, (e.g. have devastated Hawaiian forests). They do not belong and their removal by any means that is effective is appropriate if you care about protecting natural areas and native ecosystems
Miss Bianca
@cynthia ackerman: What is it about kittens and parking lots? I too rescued a tiny kitten from a parking lot once upon a time. But she wasn’t into PDA at all at all, not even of the fighty-bitey kind, unless she was ailing. No purring either, unless ditto.
Mary Ellen Sandahl
@Miss Bianca: I’m a lurker here, so feel a little shy putting my oar in – but I think it’s possible that the lost kittens are attracted by the residual warmth radiated by the vehicles, and possibly also by the shelter underneath. I rescued just about the best little street kitten I’ve ever known from a quiet bank parking lot where I’d gone to cash a check on my lunch hour. It was a warm August or early September day — mellow summer weather — so the warmth probably wasn’t much of a factor, but she was partially under a parked car and yelling her head off. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. My radiated heat theory comes from a much sadder circumstance: I discovered a tiny kitten curled up dead next to the tire of a parked vehicle in the depth of a very cold winter, in an all-but-deserted parking area. It was morning – I was on my way to work – and I think this poor lost baby had felt the heat still radiating from the tire the previous night and tried to snuggle next to it, succumbing in its sleep overnight. It’s said that death from exposure is relatively painless. I hope so. I still think of that little one with sadness.