Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Nothing worth doing is easy.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

All your base are belong to Tunch.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

This really is a full service blog.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh! Gator: Better Leave This to a Professional, Err, Um…

Floriduh! Gator: Better Leave This to a Professional, Err, Um…

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Professional should mean both one who does something for money and one qualified to undertake the specific activity. And then there’s this moron!

And from another angle:

Stay out of the swamp…

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

85Comments

  5. 5.

    Adam L Silverman

    @SWMBO: Nope. But the big grin on the cops face when the trapper gets hit and goes down is priceless.

  6. 6.

    Elizabelle

    Respect the gator.

    Trapper who got headbutted was getting a little too friendly-like with all the tapping (aggravating)?

    Hope that is one reptile that will stay in the wild.

  7. 7.

    satby

    That poor gator.
    Exhausted after doing two markets today, so going to bed.
    Hoping the idiot in chief doesn’t start WWIII overnight.

  8. 8.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    so was he testing to see if a sedative had kicked in? because I was starting to get pissed off at the way he was taunting that animal (as I thought), and those things scare me.

  9. 9.

    dexwood

    The trapper is a cruel asshole who deserved his payback. Fuck him. Macho man showing off.

  10. 10.

    The Fat Kate Middleton

    Laughing here, too. I heard the guy talking about driving thru the Everglades. My husband and I did the same for the first time last February. My god. BIG alligators everywhere! Just about the time I reminded my husband about pythons and driving over them, he asked, as we felt a big thump under our wheels, “You mean that one?” I’m afraid my response was not measured. (He truly did not see it before hitting it.)

  12. 12.

    Amir Khalid

    I’m not sure what part of the gator trapping process requires the trapper to get all up in the gator’s grill and slap it around like that. The poor creature is not having a good day as it is, and it’s hard to blame him for getting ticked off about that.

  13. 13.

    Mnemosyne

    Our anxious cat Charlotte wanted to be snuggled after being left alone with the other cats all day, but she’s also pissed that she got left alone with the other cats all day, so she tried to bite me while she was purring her head off because I was petting her.

    I mention this because she snaps like a crocodile, though she rarely draws blood.

    And, no, she’s not biting because she starts to feel threatened. She’s a love biter — when she gets really, really comfortable, she starts wanting to bite the cats and/or people she’s snuggling with. This is what you get when you keep the kitten you found in a parking lot. ?

  15. 15.

    Mart

    Pretty awesome ninja gator skills with a one two head butt tail bitch slap. Is there a reason why they just do not kill the gators and nasty critters like feral hogs from the get go? Not like they are endangered?

  16. 16.

    Ohio Mom

    On another note, what’s with efg? I heard he was in the hospital, checked in on a thread to say he was still kicking, and haven’t heard anything since.

    I miss his cheerful presence.

  18. 18.

    Brachiator

    Crocs and gators have been winning, recently

    A small dog that spent a decade tormenting a crocodile on her owner’s property in Australia has been eaten by the animal she taunted for so long. Owner Kai Hansen, who often had guests and even television crews at his house south of Darwin to watch Pippa the terrier chase the crocodile into the water, watched in horror as she tested the reptile’s patience too far and was dragged into the water.

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/crocodile-eats-small-dog-australia-after-years-being-chased-pippa-the-terrier/

  20. 20.

    Elizabelle

    @Viva BrisVegas: Driving over Burmese pythons — in Florida — a good thing. They’re predators who do not belong. Sometimes with 80 eggs in their bellies. Don’t brake for that python.

    Also: hauling up snakehead fish in Virginia and elsewhere. A good thing. And hear they are very good eating.

  23. 23.

    Adam L Silverman

    Well the Washington Capitals have won the Stanley Cup. Ovechkin will likely take the cup to Russia to show it to Putin. if Putin behaves the way he did with Bob Kraft’s Super Bowl ring, he’ll just take it and keep it.

  26. 26.

    cynthia ackerman

    @Mnemosyne:

    Mine is named Mako, because when she gets affectionate she kneeds and rabbit kicks like a cross between a Mako shark and a border collie. Also rescued from a convenience store parking lot as a tiny kitten.

  28. 28.

    mainmata

    OT. Finally, the first time in a generation a DC team of any major sport has won any national championship..The Washington Capitols Ice Hockey Team oin their International Championship (called the Stanley Cup) for the first time ever by narrowly defeating a Las Vegas first year start-up team. Good for them.

  29. 29.

    Steve in the ATL

    Which one of these gator stories has been optioned by Adam Sandler for Waterboy 2?

  32. 32.

    Viva BrisVegas

    @Brachiator:

    There is video online of the incident. I would suggest avoiding it if you come across it.

    If you do want to see crocs, the Adelaide River is a good place to start. There are specimens up to 20 feet long in there. They’ve been protected for nearly 50 years now and have gotten back to pre-settlement numbers and sizes.

  39. 39.

    B.B.A.

    Here’s a dumb question from a stupid American: will Doug Ford and the Tories try to shut down weed sales in Ontario? My understanding of the new Canadian law is that provinces will need to opt in to allowing commercial sales, otherwise it’s just decriminalized by default. The Wynne government established a subsidiary of the local alcohol monopoly to sell weed, but what Wynne giveth, Ford can taketh away.

  40. 40.

    khead

    #TeamAlligator

    That’s what the jackass gets for smacking the gator in the head while the gator is restrained. I’ve had cats try to kill me for lesser offenses.

  45. 45.

    eemom

    The Caps, short for Capitals, a local hockey team, won something called the Stanley Cup. Surely *I* can’t be the first one to remark upon this? ?

    Anyway, just hoping the dickwad in chief invites THEM to the WH, and THEY don’t show up, thereby proving deecee is just as cool as Philly.

  46. 46.

    Ohio Mom

    @Ruckus: We had this problem the first time efg ended up in the hospital — no way to contact him and show our support.

  47. 47.

    chris

    @B.B.A.:

    will Doug Ford and the Tories try to shut down weed sales in Ontario?

    Probably not, weed company stocks will be airborne tomorrow and they’re already worth billions. He’s not smart but I doubt he’ll want to mess with Bay Street. (Think Wall St.) Also he’ll need the tax money because of course he’ll cut taxes.

  48. 48.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Ohio Mom:

    I think Subaru Diane said she was going to e-mail him (and/​or his wife) tomorrow if we hadn’t heard anything this week.

  51. 51.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Ohio Mom: I had a word with him when he came back that he should have someone email one of the front pagers so we’d know what was going on. He indicated he would. My guess is it got lost in the shuffle. Or someone isn’t checking their email.

  54. 54.

    Adam L Silverman

    @eemom: I was teasing, hence the sarc tags. If you’re a long suffering Caps fan: congratulations!

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Steve in the ATL: He probably thinks you’ve got the familial healthcare issue comment market cornered and is afraid you’ll smack him with copyright violations or trademark infringements or something.

  59. 59.

    opiejeanne

    @Brachiator: How could he not know this was a possiblity? This was one of those things that all kids used to know, one of the chunks of folk knowledge/scary stories that all kids knew (whether they were true or not), like the name of the music played by the orchestra while the Titanic sank, or that H bees wouldn’t sting you because they were really flies, or the lyrics for all of those rude rhymes and songs that every third grader performs at dinner thinking it was something clever, unique, and new, or that you could get drunk on Coke and aspirin.

  62. 62.

    opiejeanne

    @khead: Yeah, I laughed too when I saw that.

    In my book, ducks are evidence that God has a sense of humor. I mean, everything about them is hilarious and when they quack they sound like they’re laughing.

  65. 65.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Brachiator: Lot of snake related stupidity…
    http://www.wdsu.com/article/police-shoot-kill-knife-wielding-man-doing-ritualistic-dance-with-snake/21058129

    Police in Torrance, California, have shot and killed a man they say charged at them with a knife.

    The incident happened shortly before 9 a.m. Friday near a Planet Fitness gym on Hawthorne Boulevard.

    Witnesses said the man was behaving erratically and threatening people with the knife before officers arrived.

    Video shot by a bystander shows the shirtless man sitting in a parking lot next to a backpack and a terrarium.

    Witnesses told CBS Los Angeles was holding a snake and doing some sort of “ritualistic dance” with it. He would occasionally take the snake out of the terrarium and wave it around.

    Video then shows the man being struck by a non-lethal ammunition round, getting up and charging at officers.

    Police opened fire and the man died at the scene. His name hasn’t been released.

    “He was threatening, he was deliberate, he was walking right toward them without any thought of stopping,” witness Brandon Hallock told KABC.

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @lgerard: My guess is someone showed him footage of the “Cajun Navy” folks who came from Louisiana with their boats to help in the rescue effort, that person reckoned they didn’t need to explain to him what was going on, and he watched it and understood it as a bunch of folks decided to go boating during the hurricane.

  68. 68.

    Steve in the ATL

    @opiejeanne: and the best French fries are made with duck fat.

    Ketchup? Mayo? Bernaise? Well, that’s the subject of much debate.

  69. 69.

    lgerard

    @Adam L Silverman:

    This isn’t the first time the president has made comments that seemed bizarre or ill-informed

    I think journalists could just cut and paste this line into every single article that quotes the dotard

  70. 70.

    Yutsano

    @Adam L Silverman: I remember way back in 2000 or so there was a “riot”on Fraternity Row at Washington State University. A friend was telling me about it online. I was a bit puzzled as I had just driven by there not long before and all I saw was a big party with a burning couch. I’m pretty sure it was just something to get Republicans riled up.

    Another note: I got your e-mail Adam. Let me talk to my mom about it as she’s his caretaker and would need to agree to anything like that. Having said that, she would like it if he would share his stories too. I don’t want them to get lost to old age. I can run it by her this weekend as I probably won’t have a chance tomorrow.

  73. 73.

    Villago Delenda Est

    …and the gator’s name is….DONALD TRUMP!

    And now you know the rest of the story!

  77. 77.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Yutsano: No worries. I’m not offended if he doesn’t want to go forward. Also, I can also put you all in touch with the appropriate folks from the Army Heritage Education Center to have it done properly according to their protocols and then archived by them.

  80. 80.

    Phylllis

    The best part of the video is when the gator rolls off the back of the truck with a ’round two m*therf*ckers’ attitude.

    Second best is watching the guy’s knockoff Oakleys go flying into the sunset.

  81. 81.

    TriassicSands

    @Emma:
    No, and I’d be laughing harder if the gator had been able to take a chunk out of the jerk’s leg who kept smacking the gator on the snout. Unless repeatedly smacking an alligator on the snout is something they enjoy, I’d say the man doing it was tormenting the alligator. Why? To show everyone just how cool he is?

    I understand that children torment animals — in time most, I hope, will learn that it is wrong. But, why an adult would feel the need to do anything but transfer that alligator as quickly, quietly, and painlessly (especially for the alligator) to a safe place is beyond me.

  82. 82.

    TriassicSands

    @Mart:

    Is there a reason why they just do not kill the gators and nasty critters like feral hogs from the get go? Not like they are endangered?

    It’s good to see you have such respect for life. I guess there isn’t any room on the planet except for you and the few critters you deign to find acceptable.

    List of animals to be killed:
    Lions
    Tigers
    Grizzly bears
    Leopards
    Elephants
    Cougars
    Polar bears
    Hippos
    Cape buffalo
    Sharks (all, why waste time identifying dangerous and harmless)
    Leopard seals
    Alligators
    Crocodiles
    All poisonous snakes
    All venomous insects
    All poisonous amphibians
    Etc.
    Just a starter list. Soon they’ll all be gone or endangered and then what, Mart, we try to save them?

    We may or may not have “too many” alligators in the US. We definitely have too many people and many of them are a lot more harmful than alligators. Your solution?

  83. 83.

    barbequebob

    @TriassicSands:

    Another thing to consider with Mart’s comment

    The alligators are wild, native species living in their natural range, they belong where they are and were there before current human population moved in. Every effort should be made to not harm them

    In contrast, feral hogs are domesticated animals that have escaped and have reverted to a wild existence. They are not native to the areas they are living in and usually inflict a lot of damage to the ecosystems where they occur, (e.g. have devastated Hawaiian forests). They do not belong and their removal by any means that is effective is appropriate if you care about protecting natural areas and native ecosystems

  84. 84.

    Miss Bianca

    @cynthia ackerman: What is it about kittens and parking lots? I too rescued a tiny kitten from a parking lot once upon a time. But she wasn’t into PDA at all at all, not even of the fighty-bitey kind, unless she was ailing. No purring either, unless ditto.

  85. 85.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    @Miss Bianca: I’m a lurker here, so feel a little shy putting my oar in – but I think it’s possible that the lost kittens are attracted by the residual warmth radiated by the vehicles, and possibly also by the shelter underneath. I rescued just about the best little street kitten I’ve ever known from a quiet bank parking lot where I’d gone to cash a check on my lunch hour. It was a warm August or early September day — mellow summer weather — so the warmth probably wasn’t much of a factor, but she was partially under a parked car and yelling her head off. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. My radiated heat theory comes from a much sadder circumstance: I discovered a tiny kitten curled up dead next to the tire of a parked vehicle in the depth of a very cold winter, in an all-but-deserted parking area. It was morning – I was on my way to work – and I think this poor lost baby had felt the heat still radiating from the tire the previous night and tried to snuggle next to it, succumbing in its sleep overnight. It’s said that death from exposure is relatively painless. I hope so. I still think of that little one with sadness.

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