Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

People are weird.

People are complicated. Love is not.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

You cannot shame the shameless.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

I desperately hope that, yet again, i am wrong.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Space Farce Open Thread: To the MOON, Alice!…

Space Farce Open Thread: To the MOON, Alice!…

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All the real billionaires, the Big Swinging Dicks, get to go on the TV and talk about their mighty throbbing rockets. Donny Dollhands thinks he ought to be able to grift his very own (no doubt Trump-branded, gilt-painted) bunch of rockets out of a grateful nation… and his will be the only ones carrying NUCKALAR BOMBS, suckitlibs!

Fortunately, our American armed forces have some experience with slow-walking “demands” from temporary autocrats, so I think we’ll see the first Trump Rocket unveiled on approximately the twelfth of Never. Per the Washington Post:

… Trump has floated this idea before — in March, he said he initially conceived it as a joke — but has offered few details about how the Space Force would operate. Several experts noted that an act of Congress is required to establish a new branch of the military.

Trump said Monday that the branch would be “separate but equal” from the Air Force and that Gen. Joseph F. Dunford Jr., chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, would oversee its creation.

“It is not enough to have an American presence in space, we must have American dominance in space,” Trump said, adding that he didn’t want to see “China and other countries leading us.”

Dunford’s staff acknowledged Trump’s comments in a statement Monday afternoon, pledging to work closely with Defense Secretary Jim Mattis’s office, other Defense Department officials and Congress to “implement the President’s guidance.”

“Space is a warfighting domain, so it is vital that our military maintains its dominance and competitive advantage in that domain,” the statement said.

And a spokeswoman for Mattis said in a statement that Pentagon officials “understand” the guidance.

“Our Policy Board will begin working on this issue, which has implications for intelligence operations for the Air Force, Army, Marines and Navy,” Dana White said without elaborating. “Working with Congress, this will be a deliberate process with a great deal of input from multiple stakeholders.”…

Reader Interactions

107Comments

  4. 4.

    TenguPhule

    Apparently our Space Force will require no knowledge of space.

    Our State Dept no longer requires knowledge about the State either.

  5. 5.

    efgoldman

    Congress would have to approve a Space Force, and lawmakers have been divided on it.

    I will bet a half dozen of anybody’s favorite donuts that no more than ten dollars will ever be appropriated for this mess.

  6. 6.

    dmsilev

    And, because of course he did, he referred to the Space Force as being ‘separate but equal’ to the Air Force.

  9. 9.

    TenguPhule

    @efgoldman:

    I will bet a half dozen of anybody’s favorite donuts that no more than ten dollars will ever be appropriated for this mess.

    Moving the goalposts? //

  10. 10.

    jimmiraybob

    “…he will return Americans to the moon.”

    And we will be the first nation embracing coal-fueled rocketry. Backwards HOooooooo!

  12. 12.

    TenguPhule

    @dmsilev:

    And, because of course he did, he referred to the Space Force as being ‘separate but equal’ to the Air Force.

    All of the people at risk in space will be black, the better to blend in with the background around them.

    The people on the ground giving them orders from safety will of course be white.

  14. 14.

    efgoldman

    @jimmiraybob:

    we will be the first nation embracing coal-fueled rocketry

    Has a single mine reopened since Weasel Face took charge?
    Not unless they’re pulling coal out of the ground and sending it to Mal-a-Loco.

  15. 15.

    M4

    Thread title always makes me think of this Futurama exchange.

    “Space exploration started with one man. A man… with a dream.”
    “One of these days, Alice… bang! Pow! Straight to the moon!”

    LEELA: I had no idea the first astronauts were so fat.
    FRY: *pff* He wasn’t an astronaut, he was a TV comedian. And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.

  16. 16.

    Immanentize

    @rikyrah: maybe the restaurant didn’t like her security detail or film crew? She is a monster. Eva Braun for our times.

  18. 18.

    TenguPhule

    @lamh36:

    20 to a tent. Expected high in Tornillo tomorrow: 106 degrees.

    JFC, it would be kinder to simply give them a lethal dose of morphine.

  19. 19.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Fuck me. I’m posting a tweet from Chuck Todd. I fucking hate Chuck Todd

    Chuck Todd @ chucktodd
    Reminder, of the key 2016 Trump campaign players who haven’t been interviewed by Mueller is Parscale. He is part of a club that includes: Stone, Manafort, Don Jr and Cohen. They’ve all met w/Congress on Russia but not Mueller, hinting All five could be Mueller targets.

    I’m gonna imagine this was written by someone who does Chuck Todd’s work for him, and enjoy the thought of DJTJ in an orange jumpsuit

  21. 21.

    dmsilev

    @TenguPhule:

    All of the people at risk in space will be black, the better to blend in with the background around them.

    Someone should sell Trump on proposing a manned mission to the Sun, with the idea being that they’d land at night when it’s not shining.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    Haven’t read all the pieces about the children, but has Secretary of HHS Ben Carson yet uttered syllable one about what;s going on?

  29. 29.

    efgoldman

    @NotMax:

    has Secretary of HHS Ben Carson yet uttered syllable one about what;s going on?

    Can they get him out of his coma?

  30. 30.

    Mary G

    AP appears to have found some toddlers and babies in Houston:

    Trump administration officials have been sending babies and other young children forcibly separated from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border to at least three “tender age” shelters in South Texas, The Associated Press has learned.

    Lawyers and medical providers who have visited the Rio Grande Valley shelters described play rooms of crying preschool-age children in crisis. The government also plans to open a fourth shelter to house hundreds of young migrant children in Houston, where city leaders denounced the move Tuesday.

    and

    The three centers — in Combes, Raymondville and Brownsville — have been rapidly repurposed to serve needs of children including some under 5. A fourth, planned for Houston, would house up to 240 children in a warehouse previously used for people displaced by Hurricane Harvey, Mayor Sylvester Turner said.

    Turner said he met with officials from Austin-based Southwest Key Programs, the contractor that operates some of the child shelters, to ask them to reconsider their plans. A spokeswoman for Southwest Key didn’t immediately reply to an email seeking comment.

    “And so there comes a point in time we draw a line and for me, the line is with these children,” said Turner during a news conference Tuesday.”

    ETA: Some social worker needs to go in and film or at least get undercover audio like ProPublica did. Senators and Representatives need to be pounding on the doors first thing in the morning,

  31. 31.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Maddow broke down crying announcing the existence of “tender age shelters” for babies and toddlers. O’Donnell sounds like he’s ready to do the same.

  33. 33.

    lamh36

    OMG!!!

    Fourth “Tender Age” Shelter needed to house hundreds of babies and toddlers in South TExas!!!!
    Maddow couldn’t even read the news…she broke down!!!!

  36. 36.

    TS (the original)

    So the media has found “the babies”. Cruel and hateful isn’t the half of it. I listened to John Lewis saying – “We do not do this – this is the US of A”

    Well this is the US of A. They cage up babies and toddlers – because Mexico won’t pay for the aholes wall.

  37. 37.

    lamh36

    OMG!!

    “The US stopped using institutions to care for babies and toddlers decades ago, but the government is opening several shelters for very young children taken from parents at border.”

    Trump administration officials have been sending babies and other young children forcibly separated from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border to at least three “tender age” shelters in South Texas, The Associated Press has learned.

    https://apnews.com/dc0c9a5134d14862ba7c7ad9a811160e?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AP&__twitter_impression=true&__twitter_impression=true&__twitter_impression=true&__twitter_impression=true

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    “Only Space Force will be capable of building a wall around the Earth to protect us from illegal aliens!”

    Dolt 45 under the impression Thunderbirds Are Go is a documentary.

  41. 41.

    M4

    @TS (the original): just a thought, but if John fucking Lewis is willing to say that the country is better than this, then I’m inclined to believe that it’s acceptable rhetoric.

    @Anne Laurie: I’m aware that it’s well established, I just like Futurama.

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    @dmsilev

    You are correct. My bad. Can’t keep the villains straight without a program.

    Alex Azar is Secretary of HHS (either the 3rd or 4th one during Dolt 45’s time on office). Has he said word one?

  44. 44.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Dorothy Winsor: I’m proud to say we in Philly gave Pence this treatment this evening. I couldn’t make it to the mass protest at Rittenhouse Square, in the park next to the hotel where he was holding his fundraiser. But I saw the crowd gathered to “cheer” him along his motorcade route afterward. Submitted one photo to tomorrow’s “On the Road” post, but it didn’t come out very well. For some reason at the instant I snapped it, only one person was visibly giving the one-fingered salute, though Pence actually got a whole row of them.

    I’m hoping the crowd in the park was noisy enough to be heard inside the hotel. Philly is pretty good at the “rowdy crowd” thing.

  45. 45.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: They don’t want to wake him from his nap. My understanding is he provided guidance to convert some grain storage space in a pyramid to a daycare center.

  49. 49.

    Schlemazel

    @Immanentize:
    No, Eva was Hitlers honey, This woman is much more Irma Grese, the Hyena of Auschwitz.

    I have tried very hard not to make comparisons to these dime store fascists and their Nazi forbearers but really this is a bridge too far. They really are getting very close to to original thing

  50. 50.

    dmsilev

    @NotMax: Nothing that I’ve heard. Probably just as well, because I’m sure if he did say something, it would be to just makes things worse. I have no idea worse how, but I’m confident in ‘worse’.

  52. 52.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    So the Senate bill to fight this policy now has all of the Democrats signed on, and no Republicans. But [will not type his name] is still pushing the line that it’s a Democratic policy.

    Are his supporters actually able to commit the pretzel-logic to believe those two things simultaneously? How?

    Nobody answer that. I believe I might go irrevocably insane if I tried to actually follow a thought process like that.

  53. 53.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    Baby jails. Fuck. We learned tonight that we’re putting “tender age” children in baby jails. Rachel Maddow broke down reading about it at the end of her show and couldn’t read it all. Fuck. Fucking baby jails. Every God damned day I think we’ve reached the bottom on this appalling shit show, and every fucking day, somehow we find a way to go a little bit farther down. We’re going to be atoning for this for the rest of our history.

  54. 54.

    lamh36

    Rachel apologizes via twiiter.

    No need for apologies Rachel.

    https://twitter.com/maddow/status/1009258559463358464

    “Trump administration officials have been sending babies and other young children forcibly separated from their parents to at least three “tender age” shelters in South Texas…

    “Lawyers and medical providers who have visited the “tender age” shelters described play rooms of crying preschool-age children in crisis…

  55. 55.

    Mike in DC

    “Tender Age shelter” is peak Orwell. “Baby’s First Prison” just didn’t test as well, I guess.

  56. 56.

    Chet Murthy

    @Schlemazel:

    I have tried very hard not to make comparisons to these dime store fascists and their Nazi forbearers

    Two thoughts:

    (1) Mike Godwin says do it:

    By all means, compare these shitheads to Nazis. Again and again. I'm with you.— Mike Godwin (@sfmnemonic) August 14, 2017

    (2) THIS IS WORSE than what the Nazis were doing in 1933. They had camps, but they weren’t separating families and imprisoning innocent children. That was much later.

  59. 59.

    TS (the original)

    @M4: I’m a massive fan of John Lewis – but the reality at the minute is the USA is currently a country that is separating babies from their parents and putting them in 24 hour child care centers in Texas.

    And OMG – Lawrence & Co think Melania trump would come and do something about this – she is not who they want to pretend she is. She married DJT who knows EXACTLY what he is doing – as do his wife and daughter.

  61. 61.

    efgoldman

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:

    the Senate bill to fight this policy now has all of the Democrats signed on, and no Republicans

    And old senile Orrin was on the evening news bleating about the “unacceptable” policy.
    Hey old senile Orrin: All you have to do is sign on DiFi’s bill
    Fuck you and your whole Mormon temple.

  62. 62.

    Villago Delenda Est

    I’m pretty sure this “directive” of Hair Furor has been appropriately placed in the “too stupid to even read” tray.

  63. 63.

    Platonailedit

    Baby jails? And yet no court has stepped in to stop this abuse of presidential powers?

  64. 64.

    M4

    @TS (the original): I’m usually totally down with being technically correct but the language policing on this one is pissing me off. Are we just banning the use of “America is better than x” where x is a thing the american government is doing?

    Are we really going to “well ACTUALLY…” at JOHN LEWIS on this?

  65. 65.

    Davebo

    Any fool would know that Space Operations should fall under the Department of the Navy. Call it the 69th fleet, hordes will volunteer.

  66. 66.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @M4: I love Futurama, though I’ve only seen a few episodes. Futurama had the only Uranus joke in the history of the universe which was actually funny.

    Farnsworth: I’m sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all..
    Fry: Oh. What’s it called now?
    Farnsworth: Urectum.

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    Ragnarok Lobster
    @eclecticbrotha
    I found the first recruit to enlist in Trump’s space force.
    That moron would be the perfect jackass to head the Space Farce. Well maybe not, he actually has some experience trying to build and launch a rocket. That’s got to be about a million steps ahead of anyone that shitgibbon would hire. Now do understand it was a steam powered rocket to go up and see if the earth was flat but still. He understands that a lot of rockets have a pointy end and that’s the front part and that makes him far too qualified to work for the shitgibbon.

  68. 68.

    The Other Bob

    Anyone else see thr poll that 27% of people support Trumps border actions?

    That 27 number keeps popping up.

  70. 70.

    Percysowner

    @Platonailedit:

    Baby jails? And yet no court has stepped in to stop this abuse of presidential powers?

    They’re not citizens, so SOME courts could and probably will claim that they don’t have the rights of American citizens and fuck off. I wonder which way Roberts and Kennedy will flip, when it comes before them. Thomas will go with the flow, Gorsuch will do what Trump wants and so, probably will Alito.

    I feel sick.

  72. 72.

    ? ?? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ? ?

    @M4:
    I think my compromise is pretty good:

    This is who we have been in the past. This is who we currently are, since Putin and a bunch of traitors decided to fuck over the US. However, the promise of freedom and equality for all has always been with us, since the Declaration of Independence, the idea that all people are born equal and deserve the same rights enjoyed by kings. We can stop this and take back our country.

  81. 81.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @efgoldman: This is what I’ve been telling every whining R Senator on Twitter for the past four days. It’s easy. Just co-sponsor S.3036. This of course assumes they’re vertebrates. Which is a terrible assumption.

  82. 82.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Omnes Omnibus: Serious question for you. Because immigration cases are normally heard in the DOJ supervised immigration courts, rather than the regular Federal courts, is this going to cause a problem in the attempt to get judicial relief?

  84. 84.

    MobileForkbeard

    @M4: It’s an evergreen. Come to think of it, that episode made a lot of amazing quotes. The famous “Screw this, I’m going to make my own theme park! With blackjack and hookers. Aw, forget the blackjack.” meme comes from that too.

    And it was only the 2nd episode.

  85. 85.

    Frankensteinbeck

    I guarantee that when Trump thinks of a Space Force, he’s imagining actual spaceships flying around dogfighting. Possibly firing lasers at each other. The most realistic thing he may be thinking about is orbital bombardment.

    @Schlemazel:
    I put it at least 50/50 that Trump thinks of himself as a Nazi. It’s all but conclusively proven that he approves of and basically agrees with Nazis. I do get the impression that while he holds a number of racist views about Jews, he considers brown people the actual enemy.

  86. 86.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Percysowner: The Constitution is pretty clear that its protections extend to all persons. Which is why chattel was not a person…only 3/5ths of one for congressional representation purposes, because the South has sucked from day one.

  87. 87.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Mary G:

    up to 240 children in a warehouse

    In a warehouse.

    In. A. Warehouse.

    God damn it, children are not “wares.”

  90. 90.

    M4

    @MobileForkbeard: it was a very good show!

    What’s your favorite non-finale episode? Mine is probably How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back, or War Is the H-Word, but there are so many.

  95. 95.

    efgoldman

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    Habeas cases are heard in regular federal court

    I’m guessing at least some will be heard in the fifth circuit, with the known asshole judges.

  96. 96.

    MobileForkbeard

    @M4: War is the H Word is one of my top 3. I’m a huge fan of Roswell That Ends Well, too. I can’t remember the exact episode name, but my third favorite is one where the space brains show up for the first time.

    Also, I critically appreciate the Dog Episode as amazing television I wont ever watch again, because it makes me cry.

  97. 97.

    Aleta

    @Mary G: @lamh36: An ER doc in Colorado wrote that she recently treated 3 toddlers between the ages of 1 and 2, who are being fostered after separation from their parent(s) by ICE at the border. Their foster mothers brought them in for normal childhood issues like rash, dehydration. (“Foster parents are legally required to seek medical care before giving any kind of treatment.”) The Dr. speaks Spanish, but none of the foster mothers did.

    The doctor writes that the foster mothers are experienced but have never experienced this kind of situation. They have received no medical information such as immunizations or allergies, no contact information for parents, and no case worker to contact for this information. No timeline for the length of stay, no reconciliation plan with the parents, no information on visitation or when the kids will have contact with parents.

    She writes that the children are healthy but their behavior at the ER or as reported at the foster homes is not what’s normal at that age. They’re afraid to explore, don’t want to be put down even to sleep, don’t want to be out of physical touch with the caretaker. It indicates they are afraid of their world being broken again. She says that the trauma is affecting their development, since it’s a time for moving out into the world on their own to experience it. (Needed for brain development and movement/postural development.)
    Copies of what the ER doc wrote are here, posted on twitter by Jennifer Gunter‏ @DrJenGunter. (I haven’t found a site where it’s directly posted.)

  98. 98.

    M4

    @MobileForkbeard:

    one where the space brains show up for the first time.

    The Day The Earth Stood Stupid?

    LEELA: So is there a… Mrs. Queequeg?

    As for the ‘dog episode’, what’s that, Fry didn’t have a dog…

  103. 103.

    Chet Murthy

    @Percysowner:

    They’re not citizens, so SOME courts could and probably will claim that they don’t have the rights of American citizens

    Two thoughts:
    (1) I believe that courts have ruled that many rights (like to due process, equal protection of the laws) obtain for “persons”. There’s a question of what “persons” means, and some argue it means citizens and those who have been lawfully admitted to the US [hence omitting those who entered without permission.] Here’s the thing: since the US is a signatory to various treaties regarding refugees, and treaties have the force of federal law, it’s a reasonable (colorable?) claim that people seeking asylum, presenting themselves at valid ports of entry, are persons. The US is treaty-bound to admit them, after all.

    (2) None of the above really matters. Human rights violations, I believe, are crimes “enjoying” universal jurisdiction — any nation can prosecute them. And the argument that “it’s the law” doesn’t matter for that.

  105. 105.

    MobileForkbeard

    @Brachiator: The episode is ALSO amazing. :)

    @M4: That’s the one. Also, they made the dog episode slightly less depressing in one of their movies, so it’s not quite as gut wrenching as it was on the first viewing.

    My wife would also like to state that she loves the five leaf clover episode, and shes right- it’s also very touching, but in a good way.

  106. 106.

    VOR

    @Frankensteinbeck: I’m telling you, Trump is thinking of the Bond movie Moonraker.

    Either that or Iron Sky, the parody movie with Nazis on the far side of the moon and President Sarah Palin.

  107. 107.

    ohthatguy

    Every time someone goes on Facebook to post something asking why we give money to other countries or accept refugees when we have homeless veterans, I plan on responding with a space force picture. If you don’t say anything when this boondoggle is proposed, you can shut your mouth until the sun goes cold and dark

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