Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

I was promised a recession.

I know this must be bad for Joe Biden, I just don’t know how.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Ah, the different things are different argument.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

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Reader Interactions

46Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    We used to go to Dairy Queen as kids and get the soft serve cones that were dipped in some kind of chocolate syrup that would harden into a thin shell. I assume they still have those? I try to avoid going to such places any more owing to my total lack of self control.

  6. 6.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    Yay, for once I’m in sync. I actually have ice cream on hand. Yesterday I bought a rare three-pack of Dove ice cream bars. I was just thinking about having one in a little while to soothe my throat. Purely for therapeutic reasons, of course.

  7. 7.

    schrodingers_cat

    A few years ago when I was in India, I had gone to a hill resort near Mumbai for the weekend. Right opposite where I was staying was a kulfi factory. I must have tried every flavor. Mango was the best followed by fig.
    Back in the commonwealth there is a farm stand about a mile and half from home, that makes their own ice-cream. Their fresh pumpkin pie flavor in the fall is to die for.
    DQ is too sweet for my taste.

  8. 8.

    Teddys Person

    My dad LOVES ice cream. When we were kids, we didn’t have to ask if we could get ice cream. We merely had to suggest it.

  9. 9.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Jerzy Russian: for me it was/would be mint chocolate chip shakes, from Baskin-Robbins. Though I wonder if I would now, like Cole, find that too sweet. And now that I consciously keep track of my sugar intake, I can’t even imagine how many grams one of those has.

  10. 10.

    Roger Moore

    I thought you were making your own ice cream these days. Why go to DQ when you can have something so much better at home.

    FWIW, I don’t make ice cream, but I do make frozen yogurt. My current favorite recipe:

    Mint frozen yogurt

    1 quart whole milk
    1 pound fresh mint
    1 tablespoon yogurt
    1 cup simple syrup (50% sugar by weight)
    1 cup light Karo’s syrup
    1/4 teaspoon salt

    Separate the mint leaves from the stems, then rinse and allow to air dry. Coarsely chop the mint and place in a 2 qt sauce pot with the milk. Bring the milk just to the boil then remove from the heat. Stir to make sure the mint is extracted thoroughly. When the milk has cooled to about 40°C/100°F, strain it into a quart mason jar, leaving some room at the top. Stir in the yogurt as a starter. Incubate at 40°C/100°F overnight or until set.

    Remove the mint yogurt from the jar and mix with the simple syrup, Karo’s syrup, and salt. Pre-chill it, then make into frozen yogurt according to your ice cream maker’s instructions.

  11. 11.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    @Jerzy Russian: I associate that kind of cone with an ice cream truck. Good Humor maybe?

    DQ was not part of my childhood. Main place for ice cream runs aside from the trucks was Friendly’s, which might be a New York-only chain.

  12. 12.

    Miss Bianca

    @Jerzy Russian: I almost got a DQ cone today dipped in that stuff, but cherry, not chocolate, since that’s been my favorite since I was a kid. But I opted for the fresh peach shake at my favorite burger joint instead. ; )

  15. 15.

    Roger Moore

    @Ceci n est pas mon nym:
    DQ definitely had the chocolate (and I think at one time also caramel) shell that hardened onto the ice cream. It always seemed like the main attraction of the place compared to other forms of ice cream dairy desert*.

    *IIRC, DQ isn’t allowed to call their soft-serve “ice cream” because it doesn’t contain at least 10% milk fat.

  16. 16.

    Yarrow

    I got ice cream at the grocery store on the way home today! I love Dairy Queen. Blizzards are the best.

  17. 17.

    Gozer

    @Jerzy Russian: Get the “Salty Pimp” at the Big Gay Ice Cream Shop if you’re ever in the East Village. Vanilla, a little bit of sea salt, and that frozen, dipped shell is awesome after a belly-full of arepas.

  19. 19.

    Roger Moore

    @The Dangerman:
    If I want really good ice cream, I can always walk over to Mother Moo, which is truly fantastic. Their salted butter caramel ice cream has convinced me to drop chocolate as my favorite flavor, even though their salty chocolate is also outstanding. And when they talk about “farmer’s market” fruit in their ice cream, I know they aren’t joking; I’ve seen the owner at the local farmer’s market buying for the store.

  20. 20.

    The Dangerman

    @Roger Moore:

    I can always walk over to Mother Moo…

    That scream you heard was me from a long way away because I was in Pasadena Saturday and my GPS didn’t pick up on Mother Moo; $%#@. It did pick up on Carmela’S Icre Cream, but I was running out of time and went to the Bristol Farms in SP instead. I bet I was yards from Mother Moo. #$#@-$%$#. Wasn’t a total loss as Bristol Farms introduced me to Honeymoon Ice Cream, which was both great and far too expensive.

    ETA: F me. Half a mile. GPS may go into trash.

  21. 21.

    NotMax

    (open 12-year-old)

    Q: Why doesn’t the Dairy Queen have children?

    A: She married Mr. Softee.

    (close 12-year-old)

    Friend used to work at a DQ and imparted the ‘secret ingredient’ in their burgers. They grind up the stale and day-old hamburger buns and mix as much of that into the meat as they can get away with.

    He did say that one time he went kind of overboard with the proportions and for the rest of the day, instead of the smell of burgers frying, the place smelled like toast.

  22. 22.

    Chetan Murthy

    True story: I was visiting a friend at a Danish university, and we went for ice cream at Haagen-Daz (or however it’s spelled). I said something like “hey, having Haagen-Daz in its home country” and he cracked up laughing. At which point I learned that Haagen-Daz is from … New Joisey!

  23. 23.

    Yarrow

    @Roger Moore:

    Why go to DQ when you can have something so much better at home.

    Because he was taking the kids to DQ, which is fun for kids.

  24. 24.

    Jerzy Russian

    @Miss Bianca: Yes! They also had cherry goop in which to dip the cones. I am trying very hard not to think about ice cream or other sugar-laced treats at the moment…

  25. 25.

    Just One More Canuck

    @NotMax: I worked at a local fried chicken place in Victoria when I was in university. At the end of the shift we had to squeeze all of the mayonnaise out of the leftover cole slaw so it could be used the next day. Yum

  27. 27.

    FlyingToaster

    We only get to DQ when we travel, because New England has a ice cream maker in every town.

    For instance:
    Watertown: Celebrity (and a Friendly’s)
    Belmont: Moozy’s (and an outpost of Rancatore’s)
    Cambridge: Toscanini’s
    Lexington: Rancatore’s
    Newton: Cabot’s (and another outpost of Rancatore’s)
    Waltham: Lizzy’s AND Pizzi’s Farm

    You get the idea…

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    Never been to nor sampled anything from a DQ.

    Exotic and special treat when was a kidlet were Italian ices. Don’t know if any place even sells those anymore.

  30. 30.

    Miss Bianca

    @FlyingToaster: Oh, Friendly’s! Believe it or not, Friendly’s made it all the way out to the Detroit suburbs! Used to love their watermelon coolers, I think they called ’em.

  32. 32.

    FlyingToaster

    We used to have both Friendly’s and Brigham’s, but Brigham’s was vulture-capitaled out of existence. Moozy’s is a former Brigham’s.

    Friendly’s Ice Cream Cakes have always been a staple around here, along with Hoodsie Cups. But the money is on Friendly’s not surviving; our local outlet is very iffy on service (great at lunch time, fucking dreadful at dinner). Some groceries carry their pre-packed half-gallons.

  33. 33.

    NotMax

    Used to be a drug store with a soda fountain in town where I lived when in high school which had been there since before God rested.

    Made all their ice cream on the premises. Ditto for the burger meat, which one could watch being ground to order through a double-paned window.

  36. 36.

    Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ

    One of my first jobs was working at a Carmel’s franchise store near Camp Hill, PA in 1984-85. They had the best soft ice cream I’ve ever tasted, hands down. Nothing else will ever come come close to it IMHO. Don’t even know if there are any of those stores left in the US. Dammit, now I feel old and I’m craving ice cream.

  37. 37.

    Kifaru1

    Whats up with the Bruins shirt in WV? Jeez, trying to confuse my already addled mind….

  38. 38.

    Shell

    In my town, Holstens always had the best ice cream. We were all thrilled when they filmed the final episode of “Sopranos” there.

  39. 39.

    lahke

    So who are these kids? I’ve lost track.
    Just had Rancatore’s ice cream on Saturday. I always get the coffee flavor, which I love even though I don’t drink coffee.

  40. 40.

    seaboogie

    I had ice cream for breakfast today – actually Fiorellos Wild Honey gelato, and I have their dark chocolate back because tomorrow is my birthday. Turning 57, and I’ll eat what I want.

  41. 41.

    sfinny

    DQ was one of the hangouts for high schoolers in the eighties in CT. Oh boy I loved their fries.

  44. 44.

    Mel

    Homemade blueberry pie ice cream: vanilla base made with lots of heavy cream, blueberry coulis and a butter, brown sugar, and graham cracker crumble both swirled in during the last few minutes of churning. No calories at all…

  45. 45.

    Mel

    A local brand (Madisono’s) used to make a ginger gelato with just a hint of lemon, and tiny pieces of soft, home-candied ginger with a real kick to them (not the dry-ish, sugar encrusted discs) mixed in it.

    It was the best gelato I have ever tasted. Out of this world good. I thought I was going to go through withdrawal when they dropped it from their roster.

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