Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Tick tock motherfuckers!

The willow is too close to the house.

Everybody saw this coming.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

The arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend itself. it’s up to us.

No one could have predicted…

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

It may be funny to you motherfucker, but it’s not funny to me.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

In after Baud. Damn.

…and a burning sense of injustice to juice the soul.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh! Man and Gator

Floriduh! Man and Gator

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Back in July, I brought you the story of the Floriduh! Man who dumped an injured gator at a WaWa gas station and convenience store. Apparently this has started a slowly developing trend of Floriduh! Men, gators, and convenience stores!

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

80Comments

  1. 1.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    I hate alligators, and that video pissed me off. I’m glad bonehead is facing charges. “Prob’ly go to jail, prolly not”

  5. 5.

    Yarrow

    “This store sells some good liquor and I drank a lot of it that night.” And the gator was in the back of his truck? He drove? He ought to be done for DWI.

  6. 6.

    Mart

    Should join Trump’s legal team. I was so drunk I do not remember driving that gator around in my truck, bringing him in for more beer. It’s all good, bro.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    Out of morbid curiosity, does Florida have a law specifically banning bringing alligators into convenience stores, or is it just a more general “no animals” rule?

    What if it was a service alligator?

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    @Mart:

    Should join Trump’s legal team.

    Could be dangerous; some of Trump’s people would probably want to convert the gator to a set of boots or a wallet or something.

    Or did you mean Florida Man?

  10. 10.

    Adam L Silverman

    @dmsilev: Emotional support gator. When I get upset, my gator eats whatever is bothering me.

    More seriously, almost every store has signage about no animals except for service animals.

  12. 12.

    Adam L Silverman

    Apparently the President doesn’t have anything to do at Bedminster this evening.

  13. 13.

    SectionH

    @dmsilev: Well, damn, of course! It must have been a service alligator. Totally fine then.

    Awaiting the first Service Alligator airline story…

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @dmsilev: What if it was a service alligator?

    LOL, literally

    “muh service ‘gator” is the FloridaMan thing that youtube and all of us are waiting for

    it’d still have to compete with the guy dancing with his raccoon. I’d forgotten, if I ever knew, that they were dancing to Aretha. I like his taste in music better than his taste in pets. I think pound for pound, raccoons are probably meaner than ‘gators.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    Good news from a story we were talking about here yesterday — Georgetown contacted the gay student who had been kicked out by his parents and upped his scholarship. I suspect that, as some of our financial aid officers were saying yesterday, the student may not have explained the whole situation when he applied. Once Georgetown found out the whole story, they located some more money for him:

    https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/after-fundraiser-goes-viral-georgetown-awards-gay-valedictorian-full-scholarship-n897481

  18. 18.

    Yarrow

    @Mnemosyne: That’s good. It did seem like Georgetown could have done more and now they have.

    How are your ants? Did you locate any ant traps?

  20. 20.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Adam L Silverman: If Twitler thought that going after Lebron and Don Lemon in the same tweet was a good idea then he is obviously off his meds and without adult supervision right now.

  22. 22.

    phantomist

    Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started shopping here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve shopped in a lot of convenience stores, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    @Yarrow:

    How are your ants? Did you locate any ant traps?

    I found an …innovative way of dealing with my similar ant problem. They found my hummingbird feeder and an intrepid few managed to ford the water moat protecting it from said ants. Those intrepid few reached the feeder per se and …fell inside the nectar reservoir. I have what amounts to the world’s smallest Damien Hirst installation on my balcony, or at least I will until I clean the feeders tomorrow.

  24. 24.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Richard M. Nixon @ dick_nixon
    -LeBron James came from nothing, got rich on his own sweat, and carefully tries to help others do the same. At one time he might’ve been Republican.
    -That James should start a public school — not a charter school — with private money is perhaps the most daring act of his career.

  27. 27.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yarrow:

    They seem to be in temporary abeyance until they find a new crack that we haven’t sprayed down yet. The skirmish was won, but the war continues.

    @Mary G:

    That, too, but people here who work in financial aid were pretty convincing that the kid may not have known which hoops he needed to jump through to get to that money.

  28. 28.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    The grift goes on…

    The general manager of the Trump International Hotel in Manhattan had a rare bit of good news to report to investors this spring: After two years of decline, revenue from room rentals went up 13 percent in the first three months of 2018.
    What caused the uptick at President Trump’s flagship hotel in New York? One major factor: “a last-minute visit to New York by the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia,” wrote general manager Prince A. Sanders in a May 15 letter, which was obtained by The Washington Post.
    Neither Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman nor members of the royal family stayed at Trump’s hotel, Sanders said: He said the Trump hotel didn’t have suites big enough to accommodate them. But “due to our close industry relationships,” he wrote, “we were able to accommodate many of the accompanying travelers.”

  29. 29.

    Yarrow

    @Steeplejack: It really is pathetic. I guess we should expect more catchphrases from the 80’s: “It’s morning in America!” “Greed is good!” “I want my MTV,” Where’s the beef?”

  33. 33.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Platonailedit: Michael Jordan. Apparently there was a lot of chatter in the ‘tubes recently about how you can argue about who was the better athlete, but Jordan is… um… a somewhat less admirable person than LeBron. Fox News must have done a segment about it.

  44. 44.

    West of the Rockies

    @Yarrow:

    Which makes me wonder… How would “There’s a bear in the woods” run today?

    That bear now has his own guest room in the White House…

  50. 50.

    NotMax

    Third play attended in nine days. All theatered out; the unrelenting, oppressive heat and humidity day and night is taking its toll.

    As is too the whole ‘must wear pants every day’ thing.

    :)

  52. 52.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Even accounting for the differences in the eras, so to speak, and playing styles, Jordan played against a lot of tomato cans. James hasn’t, his competition has been consistently better than Jordan’s was. As a result, Lebron is the better player.

  61. 61.

    Steeplejack

    I’m finding myself mildly psyched about new Venture Bros. at midnight tomorrow. I’ve been catching up on the reruns Cartoon Network has been doling out every night on Adult Swim, and it has reminded me of everything I like about the show—which I forget every time they produce a short season and then have to rest up for 1½ -2 years. And then, of course, I never notice when a new season does come around. Well, I’m on it this time, damn it!

  63. 63.

    NotMax

    @BillinGlendaleCA

    Return on Tuesday.

    The tag teaming at the family dinner to promote the Kindle worked, as she has accepted it and is getting comfortable with it. Accompanied her to the auto dealership for an oil change on her car. Mentioned I was going to bring along my tablet to use while there and she should toss the Kindle into the same bag to have as an option.

    Immediate protestations of “I don’t need, it’s not worth the bother to bring it.” I countered with “It’ll be a lot more entertaining than staring at the wall of the waiting room.”

    Long story short, I stepped outside to smoke and when returned she had a fresh cup of complimentary capuccino, had pulled the Kindle from my tote bag and was engrossed in the book she’d previously downloaded from the library.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack

    @NotMax:

    [. . .] she had a fresh cup of complimentary capuccino, had pulled the Kindle from my tote bag and was engrossed in the book she’d previously downloaded from the library.

    Good work! Looks like it’s going to take.

    ETA: Does your mother have wi-fi at her house? I was thinking about whether my own mom would go for a Kindle, but she doesn’t have wi-fi, just cable TV. I guess I could get the Kindle with “cell phone” connectivity. (Can’t think of the proper term.) But she doesn’t even use a computer, after a failed attempt in the early ’90s. But she is an avid reader.

  66. 66.

    Kayla Rudbek

    good news: work is going better, talked to my old supervisor and a colleague who started at my agency around the same time that I did, so my head is a bit straighter than formerly. Bad news: being woken up by my everloving spouse at 6:30 am to the news that we had a water leak on the incoming line from the water main into the manifold, and we had about a half inch of standing water in the laundry room and downstairs bathroom, and a completely saturated carpet in the rest of the walkout basement. Fortunately my homeowners insurance has an app and responsive claims reps and one of our plumbers got out within an hour after opening. This was not the way that I wanted to clear out the basement!

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    He can speak the English language better than Trump.

    Another low bar. Of course I speak a number of languages better than shitgibbon. I learned to say hello, please and thank you in a number of them. That alone makes me more fluent in those than he is in english.

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    @Steeplejack:

    You would need to set your mom up with an Amazon account, but if she could get cell connectivity at her house, she could purchase books directly from the Kindle. She wouldn’t be able to check out library books directly from the Kindle, though — she would need a tablet or computer and then send them to the Kindle that way.

  72. 72.

    Mart

    @Platonailedit: Good negro Michael Jordan vs. bad Negro Black Buck Lebron James. Too bad Lebron has done an awesome job on Amy Schumer’s corny but good movie “Trainwreck”; and also too he is a brilliantly spoken man. Very aware of what is going by the regimes.

  76. 76.

    hellslittlestangel

    “He’s been in touch with the FWC.”

    I guess that’s the Florida Whatthefuck’swrongwithyou Commission.

  79. 79.

    WereBear

    @satby: Ironically, I now find a real book problematical: have to sit with good light, trickier one-handed, and if I put it down it loses my place :)

  80. 80.

    Another lurker

    @Steeplejack: The “Venture Brothers” is a great show! The last season was perfect! As an ex-NYer, I really enjoyed the NY backgrounds. I nearly had flashback, of trying to find my car, one foggy night, at their perfect rendition of the Midtown, Westside Impound lot.

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