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You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh! Man and Gator

Floriduh! Man and Gator

by Adam L Silverman|  August 3, 201811:42 pm| 80 Comments

This post is in: America, Crazification Factor, Faunasphere, Nature, Open Threads, Not Normal

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Back in July, I brought you the story of the Floriduh! Man who dumped an injured gator at a WaWa gas station and convenience store. Apparently this has started a slowly developing trend of Floriduh! Men, gators, and convenience stores!

Florida man took a gator into a liquor store and now says he doesn't remember ever doing it and has no idea where the gator came from.

The most Florida story ever. pic.twitter.com/UFjFXM3TbW

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) August 3, 2018

Open thread!

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Reader Interactions

80Comments

  1. 1.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 3, 2018 at 11:45 pm

    I hate alligators, and that video pissed me off. I’m glad bonehead is facing charges. “Prob’ly go to jail, prolly not”

  2. 2.

    Achrachno

    August 3, 2018 at 11:50 pm

    A refreshingly honest drunk. Gotta give him that much.

  3. 3.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 3, 2018 at 11:51 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Florida, amazingly enough, takes animal welfare and animal cruelty issues pretty seriously.

  4. 4.

    Steeplejack

    August 3, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    Saw this as an offshoot of some Twitter trail downstairs: Trump is like “a horse in a hospital.” Very funny.

  5. 5.

    Yarrow

    August 3, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    “This store sells some good liquor and I drank a lot of it that night.” And the gator was in the back of his truck? He drove? He ought to be done for DWI.

  6. 6.

    Mart

    August 3, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    Should join Trump’s legal team. I was so drunk I do not remember driving that gator around in my truck, bringing him in for more beer. It’s all good, bro.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    Out of morbid curiosity, does Florida have a law specifically banning bringing alligators into convenience stores, or is it just a more general “no animals” rule?

    What if it was a service alligator?

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    August 3, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    @Mart:

    Should join Trump’s legal team.

    Could be dangerous; some of Trump’s people would probably want to convert the gator to a set of boots or a wallet or something.

    Or did you mean Florida Man?

  9. 9.

    Yarrow

    August 3, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    @dmsilev: It probably should wear a service alligator vest that identifies it as such and also be kept on a leash.

  10. 10.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 3, 2018 at 11:57 pm

    @dmsilev: Emotional support gator. When I get upset, my gator eats whatever is bothering me.

    More seriously, almost every store has signage about no animals except for service animals.

  11. 11.

    Mnemosyne

    August 3, 2018 at 11:59 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I don’t hate alligators (or any crocodilians), but they do scare the crap out of me. Do not want.

  12. 12.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:00 am

    Apparently the President doesn’t have anything to do at Bedminster this evening.

    Lebron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike!

    — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 4, 2018

  13. 13.

    SectionH

    August 4, 2018 at 12:00 am

    @dmsilev: Well, damn, of course! It must have been a service alligator. Totally fine then.

    Awaiting the first Service Alligator airline story…

  14. 14.

    Yarrow

    August 4, 2018 at 12:03 am

    @Adam L Silverman: Ohhhh…that’s not going to go well for him.

  15. 15.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 4, 2018 at 12:04 am

    @dmsilev: What if it was a service alligator?

    LOL, literally

    “muh service ‘gator” is the FloridaMan thing that youtube and all of us are waiting for

    it’d still have to compete with the guy dancing with his raccoon. I’d forgotten, if I ever knew, that they were dancing to Aretha. I like his taste in music better than his taste in pets. I think pound for pound, raccoons are probably meaner than ‘gators.

  16. 16.

    dmsilev

    August 4, 2018 at 12:05 am

    @SectionH:

    Awaiting the first Service Alligator airline story…

    We all know it’s just a matter of time.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    August 4, 2018 at 12:05 am

    Good news from a story we were talking about here yesterday — Georgetown contacted the gay student who had been kicked out by his parents and upped his scholarship. I suspect that, as some of our financial aid officers were saying yesterday, the student may not have explained the whole situation when he applied. Once Georgetown found out the whole story, they located some more money for him:

    https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/after-fundraiser-goes-viral-georgetown-awards-gay-valedictorian-full-scholarship-n897481

  18. 18.

    Yarrow

    August 4, 2018 at 12:06 am

    @Mnemosyne: That’s good. It did seem like Georgetown could have done more and now they have.

    How are your ants? Did you locate any ant traps?

  19. 19.

    Mary G

    August 4, 2018 at 12:07 am

    @Mnemosyne: They located the PR department that told them they looked like uncaring jerks, you mean.

  20. 20.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    August 4, 2018 at 12:07 am

    @Adam L Silverman: If Twitler thought that going after Lebron and Don Lemon in the same tweet was a good idea then he is obviously off his meds and without adult supervision right now.

  21. 21.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:09 am

    @Litlebritdifrnt: He’s without adult supervision.

  22. 22.

    phantomist

    August 4, 2018 at 12:10 am

    Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started shopping here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve shopped in a lot of convenience stores, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

  23. 23.

    dmsilev

    August 4, 2018 at 12:12 am

    @Yarrow:

    How are your ants? Did you locate any ant traps?

    I found an …innovative way of dealing with my similar ant problem. They found my hummingbird feeder and an intrepid few managed to ford the water moat protecting it from said ants. Those intrepid few reached the feeder per se and …fell inside the nectar reservoir. I have what amounts to the world’s smallest Damien Hirst installation on my balcony, or at least I will until I clean the feeders tomorrow.

  24. 24.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 4, 2018 at 12:16 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Richard M. Nixon @ dick_nixon
    -LeBron James came from nothing, got rich on his own sweat, and carefully tries to help others do the same. At one time he might’ve been Republican.
    -That James should start a public school — not a charter school — with private money is perhaps the most daring act of his career.

  25. 25.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 12:18 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    “I like Mike!”

    Christ, Trump is regressing to some security-blanket fantasy of his glory days in the ’80s and early ’90s.

  26. 26.

    oatler.

    August 4, 2018 at 12:19 am

    Anybody remember “Gator Bait” with Claudia Jennings?

  27. 27.

    Mnemosyne

    August 4, 2018 at 12:21 am

    @Yarrow:

    They seem to be in temporary abeyance until they find a new crack that we haven’t sprayed down yet. The skirmish was won, but the war continues.

    @Mary G:

    That, too, but people here who work in financial aid were pretty convincing that the kid may not have known which hoops he needed to jump through to get to that money.

  28. 28.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 4, 2018 at 12:23 am

    The grift goes on…

    The general manager of the Trump International Hotel in Manhattan had a rare bit of good news to report to investors this spring: After two years of decline, revenue from room rentals went up 13 percent in the first three months of 2018.
    What caused the uptick at President Trump’s flagship hotel in New York? One major factor: “a last-minute visit to New York by the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia,” wrote general manager Prince A. Sanders in a May 15 letter, which was obtained by The Washington Post.
    Neither Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman nor members of the royal family stayed at Trump’s hotel, Sanders said: He said the Trump hotel didn’t have suites big enough to accommodate them. But “due to our close industry relationships,” he wrote, “we were able to accommodate many of the accompanying travelers.”

  29. 29.

    Yarrow

    August 4, 2018 at 12:24 am

    @Steeplejack: It really is pathetic. I guess we should expect more catchphrases from the 80’s: “It’s morning in America!” “Greed is good!” “I want my MTV,” Where’s the beef?”

  30. 30.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yep. Lebron is a class act.

  31. 31.

    Platonailedit

    August 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Who the fuck is mike? And what he has got anything to do with LeBron and Lemon?

    Yes, I am a dumdfuck, why do you ask?

  32. 32.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 4, 2018 at 12:26 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Emotional support gator. When I get upset, my gator eats whatever is bothering me.

    Reminds me of the sunglasses from Hitchhiker’s Guide that keep you calm, because they get darker the more dangerous things are.

  33. 33.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 4, 2018 at 12:28 am

    @Platonailedit: Michael Jordan. Apparently there was a lot of chatter in the ‘tubes recently about how you can argue about who was the better athlete, but Jordan is… um… a somewhat less admirable person than LeBron. Fox News must have done a segment about it.

  34. 34.

    Yarrow

    August 4, 2018 at 12:28 am

    @Platonailedit: Michael Jordan.

    @Mnemosyne: At least they’ve backed off for the moment.

  35. 35.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:29 am

    @Steeplejack: He’s pretty much stuck in a time loop that spans his childhood to the mid 80s.

  36. 36.

    SectionH

    August 4, 2018 at 12:30 am

    @Mnemosyne: That’s good news. Thanks for passing it on.

    eta: @Mary G: I’m sure you’re right. If it helps the student, I don’t care that much.

  37. 37.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 4, 2018 at 12:30 am

    @Mnemosyne: We have bathroom ants today. Dunno why, never can figure out where they come from, probably involves caulking. The bathroom ants days are rough.

  38. 38.

    West of the Rockies

    August 4, 2018 at 12:31 am

    @oatler.:

    Of course… It was right up there with Humanoids from the Deep and I Spit on Your Grave for quality.

  39. 39.

    Platonailedit

    August 4, 2018 at 12:32 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: @Yarrow:

    Gotcha, thanks. What a fucking nutjob.

  40. 40.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 12:33 am

    @Platonailedit:

    Michael Jordan, also a well-known basketball player of the black persuasion.

  41. 41.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 12:33 am

    @Adam L Silverman: Being that Labron is playing for the Lakers in the upcoming season, we see quite a bit of him on the TV. He can speak the English language better than Trump.

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:33 am

    @oatler.: Director’s Special Edition!
    https://www.amazon.com/Gator-Bait-Claudia-Jennings/dp/B009R68H80

  43. 43.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 12:34 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    That ain’t wrong.

  44. 44.

    West of the Rockies

    August 4, 2018 at 12:34 am

    @Yarrow:

    Which makes me wonder… How would “There’s a bear in the woods” run today?

    That bear now has his own guest room in the White House…

  45. 45.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:38 am

    @Platonailedit: Michael Jordan. Famous advertising campaign with the tagline “be like Mike”.

  46. 46.

    Mary G

    August 4, 2018 at 12:40 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: LeBron also dresses about a thousand times better than those shapeless wrinkly blue suits with red tie Twitler is always sporting.

  47. 47.

    Platonailedit

    August 4, 2018 at 12:41 am

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Thanks. Does the coward go after white athletes/coaches who criticize him? Popovich for example?

  48. 48.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:41 am

    @Major Major Major Major: If you say so. Couldn’t get past the first chapter. Couldn’t stand the tv show. Never saw the movie.

  49. 49.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 12:42 am

    @Mnemosyne: I use the ant traps from the 99 cent store.

  50. 50.

    NotMax

    August 4, 2018 at 12:42 am

    Third play attended in nine days. All theatered out; the unrelenting, oppressive heat and humidity day and night is taking its toll.

    As is too the whole ‘must wear pants every day’ thing.

    :)

  51. 51.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 12:43 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Here in LA is LeBron v. Kobe.

  52. 52.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:45 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Even accounting for the differences in the eras, so to speak, and playing styles, Jordan played against a lot of tomato cans. James hasn’t, his competition has been consistently better than Jordan’s was. As a result, Lebron is the better player.

  53. 53.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 12:46 am

    @NotMax: When are you headed back to your rock in the Pacific? Did your mom take to the Kindle?

  54. 54.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:47 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    He can speak the English language better than Trump.

    This is not a high bar to clear.

  55. 55.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:48 am

    @Steeplejack: Unfortunately.

  56. 56.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 12:48 am

    @NotMax:

    As is too the whole ‘must wear pants every day’ thing.

    Inorite.

  57. 57.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 4, 2018 at 12:49 am

    @NotMax: Where the hell are you that you have to wear pants?

  58. 58.

    Adam L Silverman

    August 4, 2018 at 12:51 am

    @Platonailedit: Not that I’ve seen.

  59. 59.

    Mike J

    August 4, 2018 at 12:52 am

    @Steeplejack:

    “I like Mike!”

    I can assure you the feeling is not mutual.

  60. 60.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 4, 2018 at 12:53 am

    @Mike J: You don’t like Steeplejack?

  61. 61.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 12:55 am

    I’m finding myself mildly psyched about new Venture Bros. at midnight tomorrow. I’ve been catching up on the reruns Cartoon Network has been doling out every night on Adult Swim, and it has reminded me of everything I like about the show—which I forget every time they produce a short season and then have to rest up for 1½ -2 years. And then, of course, I never notice when a new season does come around. Well, I’m on it this time, damn it!

  62. 62.

    Mike J

    August 4, 2018 at 12:59 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Not since the incident.

  63. 63.

    NotMax

    August 4, 2018 at 1:00 am

    @BillinGlendaleCA

    Return on Tuesday.

    The tag teaming at the family dinner to promote the Kindle worked, as she has accepted it and is getting comfortable with it. Accompanied her to the auto dealership for an oil change on her car. Mentioned I was going to bring along my tablet to use while there and she should toss the Kindle into the same bag to have as an option.

    Immediate protestations of “I don’t need, it’s not worth the bother to bring it.” I countered with “It’ll be a lot more entertaining than staring at the wall of the waiting room.”

    Long story short, I stepped outside to smoke and when returned she had a fresh cup of complimentary capuccino, had pulled the Kindle from my tote bag and was engrossed in the book she’d previously downloaded from the library.

  64. 64.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 4, 2018 at 1:02 am

    @NotMax: hey, we’ll be in NYC at the same time? Leave the light on for me, I get in pretty late tomorrow.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack

    August 4, 2018 at 1:03 am

    @NotMax:

    [. . .] she had a fresh cup of complimentary capuccino, had pulled the Kindle from my tote bag and was engrossed in the book she’d previously downloaded from the library.

    Good work! Looks like it’s going to take.

    ETA: Does your mother have wi-fi at her house? I was thinking about whether my own mom would go for a Kindle, but she doesn’t have wi-fi, just cable TV. I guess I could get the Kindle with “cell phone” connectivity. (Can’t think of the proper term.) But she doesn’t even use a computer, after a failed attempt in the early ’90s. But she is an avid reader.

  66. 66.

    Kayla Rudbek

    August 4, 2018 at 1:05 am

    good news: work is going better, talked to my old supervisor and a colleague who started at my agency around the same time that I did, so my head is a bit straighter than formerly. Bad news: being woken up by my everloving spouse at 6:30 am to the news that we had a water leak on the incoming line from the water main into the manifold, and we had about a half inch of standing water in the laundry room and downstairs bathroom, and a completely saturated carpet in the rest of the walkout basement. Fortunately my homeowners insurance has an app and responsive claims reps and one of our plumbers got out within an hour after opening. This was not the way that I wanted to clear out the basement!

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    August 4, 2018 at 1:16 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    He can speak the English language better than Trump.

    Another low bar. Of course I speak a number of languages better than shitgibbon. I learned to say hello, please and thank you in a number of them. That alone makes me more fluent in those than he is in english.

  68. 68.

    SectionH

    August 4, 2018 at 1:26 am

    @NotMax: Way To Go with your Mom! Happy for you both.

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    August 4, 2018 at 1:41 am

    @Steeplejack:

    You would need to set your mom up with an Amazon account, but if she could get cell connectivity at her house, she could purchase books directly from the Kindle. She wouldn’t be able to check out library books directly from the Kindle, though — she would need a tablet or computer and then send them to the Kindle that way.

  70. 70.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 1:54 am

    @Ruckus: Well, he is overheard on one of the tapes saying “please” when requesting a Diet Coke.

  71. 71.

    Ruckus

    August 4, 2018 at 2:16 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:
    Was there someone nearby with a gun?

  72. 72.

    Mart

    August 4, 2018 at 2:48 am

    @Platonailedit: Good negro Michael Jordan vs. bad Negro Black Buck Lebron James. Too bad Lebron has done an awesome job on Amy Schumer’s corny but good movie “Trainwreck”; and also too he is a brilliantly spoken man. Very aware of what is going by the regimes.

  73. 73.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 3:02 am

    @Ruckus: With his reputed connections to the mob…probably.

  74. 74.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    August 4, 2018 at 3:03 am

    Li’l Stinky update: as of this morning, still no bloom.

  75. 75.

    Mike in DC

    August 4, 2018 at 3:46 am

    The odds of the Apprentice N-word outtake tapes being real were always 100%.

  76. 76.

    hellslittlestangel

    August 4, 2018 at 5:03 am

    “He’s been in touch with the FWC.”

    I guess that’s the Florida Whatthefuck’swrongwithyou Commission.

  77. 77.

    WereBear

    August 4, 2018 at 5:59 am

    @NotMax: Success!

    If she’s carrying a purse, and of course she is, it’s no bother.

  78. 78.

    satby

    August 4, 2018 at 6:04 am

    @Major Major Major Major: oh, NOW you show up!

    @NotMax: congrats and well done on the Kindle gift. As much as I like a real book, the ease of reading on my Kindle resulted in most of my reading done in it now. Your mom may use it more and more.

  79. 79.

    WereBear

    August 4, 2018 at 6:12 am

    @satby: Ironically, I now find a real book problematical: have to sit with good light, trickier one-handed, and if I put it down it loses my place :)

  80. 80.

    Another lurker

    August 4, 2018 at 10:46 am

    @Steeplejack: The “Venture Brothers” is a great show! The last season was perfect! As an ex-NYer, I really enjoyed the NY backgrounds. I nearly had flashback, of trying to find my car, one foggy night, at their perfect rendition of the Midtown, Westside Impound lot.

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