Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Come on, man.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

This blog will pay for itself.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Motown is Joe-Town!

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

If a good thing happens for a bad reason, it’s still a good thing.

Washington Post’s Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

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You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / A Real Whodunnit?

A Real Whodunnit?

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Got a real mystery here. I went to get some gas and pick up some stuff from the big city, and when I came home, someone had been in the garbage:

It wasn’t Lily, because she was upstairs sleeping. Was it Rosie, seen investigating the scene of the crime?

I think I may have found the culprit:

Asshole.

Reader Interactions

161Comments

  7. 7.

    TriassicSands

    Somebody needs a good defense lawyer — NOW!

    With the high likelihood of prosecutorial misconduct and the fact there is only circumstantial evidence implicating a certain doggie, finding a great lawyer must be the highest priority.

    My cat, Annie, took one look at Rosie and pronounced her guilty. And Annie is never wrong. Jack Russell’s are known for planting evidence and letting others take the rap for their misdeeds.

    FREE THURSTON!!!

    It seems clear that everyone KNOWS this is a frame-up job. The question is: IS John Cole in on it? Or has Rosie just suckered the poor guy one more time?

  8. 8.

    NotMax

    “I was helping as you don’t seem to notice that the trash can is too close to the willow.”

    ;)

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    Did they actually even make a mess anywhere? Two cans and an apple core seems like hardly a clean-up detour from your relentless swiping on dating sites.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    Experiment in progress. Added some wasabi powder to the ingredients for a loaf of challah currently doing its thing in the super duper bread maker.

  22. 22.

    NotMax

    Someone ought to mention that on September 8th 52 years ago, Star Trek premiered on TV. Happy anniversary.

  25. 25.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @OzarkHillbilly: And this is icing on the cake: Nike’s controversial bet on Kaepernick has millennial investors piling into the stock (NKE)

    -Nike has grown in popularity among millennial investors after releasing its controversial Colin Kaepernick ad.
    -A total of 15,191 investors added Nike to their portfolios on Robinhood this week, up 45% from last week.
    -President Donald Trump tweeted Wednesday criticizing Nike’s polarizing ad.
    -The company is trying to reach a younger demographic, an analyst said.

    The future has spoken and it said, “Fuck you, donald.”

  31. 31.

    FlyingToaster

    @NotMax: Not that I’m a challah purist or anything, but that feels really, really wrong. Almost as wrong as some of the experimental challah doughs I’ve been gifted with in the past. Organic Triticale comes to mind. Bleah.

  33. 33.

    gene108

    I woke up from a nap to this…I say they are all guilty. Lily’s the mastermind, Rosie’s the lookout, and Thurston’s the muscle…

    While Steve happily grins, thinking the house will all be his very, very soon and wondering where could those doggies have gotten the idea? Definitely not from Steve suggesting there’s treasure in that trash can.

  35. 35.

    Mary G

    It’s not his fault, he was born that way. It’s a much smaller mess than his mother Ginger made. Great pictures, made me burst out laughing and woke the cat up when I got to Thurston.

  37. 37.

    Roger Moore

    @NotMax:
    Adding wasabi powder won’t do much to your bread. The chemical that gives wasabi and other members of the mustard family their pungency (allyl isothiocyanate) is destroyed by heat. This is why mustard-based sauces are usually added to food after cooking, e.g. barbecue sauce is added after barbecuing.

  42. 42.

    zhena gogolia

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Have you ever noticed that in Hot Fuzz, Jim Broadbent says he wants to “Make Sandford Great Again”? And it came out in 2007! I just watched it this morning and I thought I knew it by heart, but this blew me away. I even thought maybe they reshot the scene, but it’s a DVD I’ve had for years.

  43. 43.

    Mary G

    Conservatives are gullible, part infinity: Mother Jones says following Jordan Peterson, right wingers are moving to a beef only diet.

    “Meat production, particularly beef, creates more greenhouse gases and requires more energy than vegetable farming, leading environmentalists (statistically a left-leaning set) to call for meat reduction,” Weill wrote. “In response, an all-red meat ‘carnivore diet’ is surging in popularity among conservatives; Fox News has done so many segments where an anchor debates a feminist vegetarian in front of a steak they’ve become formulaic.” Carnivorism disciples include Andrew Torba, the conservative founder of alternative Twitter site Gab.

    Spending a fortune and ruining your health to own the libs: Please proceed.

  46. 46.

    Shell

    Thurston: “This? Im making a fashion statement. I cant help it if youre not up on the latest trends.”

  48. 48.

    Gvg

    We had a rescue dog that had been a stray surviver. She could not be trained to stay out of the trash. We bought a foot pedal opening tight lid trash can. And then the next weekend I added loop end screws into the cabinet end unit with a bungee cord around the trash can so dogs couldn’t tip it over. Basically bungeed the can to stay upright, because the lid can open if the can is tipped over and hungry dogs figured that out quick. Pretty much solved the problem.
    That dog always stole cans from the dish drainer and chewed them. Made my teeth hurt seeing it. We used to check her bed for hidden”treasures” on a regular basis.

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @NotMax:

    Experiment in progress. Added some wasabi powder to the ingredients for a loaf of challah currently doing its thing in the super duper bread maker.

    Wasabi belongs in dark chocolate, not bread dough!

  52. 52.

    Aleta

    @Roger Moore: I wonder about those snack foods that are wasbi flavored. They seem baked with wasabi (or dyed horseradish), or is it a hard glaze put on toward the end? Or a chemistry trick?

  54. 54.

    JPL

    Of course Lily was sleeping, because wouldn’t you be after ingesting all kinds of yummies from the trash. Rosie was left with an apple core, and Thurston well you know he takes advantage of the leftovers.

  56. 56.

    KSinMA

    Cool news from Texas, from juanitajean.com:

    If You’re in Austin this Weekend – UPDATED.
    September 07, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself

    UPDATED: I am in Austin. The response to the program to find Democratic voters who have moved but not moved their voter registration has far exceeded all expectations.

    This is the afternoon crew getting envelopes stuffed – and there were people behind me, too. We will have more folks this weekend and will run 18 hours a day to get it done.

    We have decided to run the list we have of Democrats who have moved to Fort Bend from out of state. We found 4,868 of them. It will cost $1,558 to do it. I’m working on it.

    Remember when I asked you to donate to a method to find Democrats in Texas who have moved but have not re-registered at their new address?

    Remember when I asked you to donate to help a non-profit at register2vote.org so they could mail pre-populated voter applications along with a pre-paid stamped envelope?

    Well, it all worked better than expected because Democrats across Texas signed up for these programs.

  57. 57.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Shell:

    You seem to have an apostrophe deficit.

    I have a surplus. Here, have some of mine.

    ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘

  60. 60.

    Schlemazel

    @Roger Moore:
    That is good to understand. I make a roladen with coarse brown mustard spread inside. The first few times I skimmed on the mustard because I was afraid the heat might be too much for guests. But there was no heat. Once I found that out I laid it on thinker & the flavor is there. Now I know why

  63. 63.

    Roger Moore

    @Aleta:
    I think it’s added as a glaze at the end. Also, like all these kinds of things, destruction by heat takes a while. If they can cook something really quickly without needing to drive the heat up super high to do it, and then cool it rapidly, they may be able to bake the coating on before the pungency is all destroyed. That won’t work so well with bread.

  66. 66.

    Roger Moore

    @Schlemazel:
    In general, I think it’s better to put the mustard on the side instead of cooking it in, both because the heat destroys the taste and because it lets the person eating it adjust the pungency to taste.

  68. 68.

    debbie

    I’m not sure if I should be worried or reassured that Equifax informed me they’re extending the credit monitoring they’ve provided since they were hacked.

  69. 69.

    SiubhanDuinne

    By the way, guys (by which I mean all jackals of the entire gender spectrum):

    I’m doing a bucket list thing tomorrow and jumping out of an airplane.

    14,000 feet. Gulp.

    Just thought I’d say.

  78. 78.

    JPL

    @debbie: I still have monitoring since Kemp as Secretary of State had my personal information hacked. Should I be concerned that he might be my next governor?

  79. 79.

    sukabi

    @debbie: don’t worry, it just means that next year you’ll get a letter telling you about 2 more breaches where your info has been plucked from their site.

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Baud:

    I’m told one of the pros (tandem jumpers) will have a helmet cam, and hopefully there will also be someone on the ground to video the landing. Which, dog willing, will be soft.

  82. 82.

    debbie

    @JPL:

    Have you gotten any weird mailings or phone calls since the hack? I’ve noticed an increase in both since Equifax fucked me over. Some of the mailings are pretty interesting.

  87. 87.

    Brachiator

    @NotMax:

    Someone ought to mention that on September 8th 52 years ago, Star Trek premiered on TV. Happy anniversary.

    Wow. I wonder if this show ever caught on with science fiction fans?

    I vaguely remember seeing a fall preview tv program that mentioned Trek. I was immediately hooked.

    May Star Trek live long and prosper, in all its permutations.

  88. 88.

    JimV

    It looked to me like Ms. Osaka was going to win regardless of how the chair umpire inserted himself. So I don’t agree Serena got screwed in that sense.

    Funny how refs swallow the whistle at important times in basketball and football, but not in tennis. Maybe it’s something to do with wearing a suit and tie, and all the Ladies and Gentlemen stuff (Ladies Final, Gentlemen’s Final).

  90. 90.

    chris

    @SiubhanDuinne: Have a wonderful time, foolish girl. That’s what I said to my sister when she first went twenty years ago. She’s been trying ever since to get me to go but I have a hard enough time getting on an airplane never mind leaving it prematurely.

  92. 92.

    Jay

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    You’ll have a blast, and time will pass crazy fast, both in freefall and the chute ride.

    The landing will be soft, cause pro’s.

    The ride up’s often fun as well. Most of the Companies here, strip out and sell everything not needed in the plane, because it’s just a short run taxi, and to save fuel, they try to get up as fast as possible.

    Nothing like max climb, stall warning going off constantly, with the view out the missing doors.

  93. 93.

    Brachiator

    @JimV:

    It looked to me like Ms. Osaka was going to win regardless of how the chair umpire inserted himself. So I don’t agree Serena got screwed in that sense.

    I hope they have an opportunity to meet and do battle again.

    I give Serena huge props for avoiding all controversy during the final ceremonies and for making sure that Osaka got her due. The former champions who were part of the broadcast team did a great job of explaining what the controversy was all about. And I think former champion Chris Everett had some private words with Osaka as well.

    I don’t know diddly squat about tennis rules, but it seems like some of this bad conduct stuff is extreme, especially if it can result in a player losing a game.

    ETA. Osaka’s mother was sweet. I wonder how the controversy played in Japan?

  94. 94.

    Patricia Kayden

    @OzarkHillbilly: That’s such heartening news!! Good to know that Donald doesn’t get to dictate what we buy, how we display patriotism and which companies do well in the stock market. This is still a free country. Suck it, Donald.

  96. 96.

    jl

    I think Rosie is just admiring the master craftsmanship of the mess, and remembering the days when she and Tunch were regular partners in outrages committed on Cole.

  98. 98.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Mary G: They should also start smoking for at least 8 hours per day in closed quarters, drinking hard liquor by the gallons, staying out of sunlight (to avoid becoming darker, of course) and driving without seatbelts. All of those things will completely own the libs.

    Such idiots. Too bad they vote.

  105. 105.

    Brachiator

    @Mary G:

    Conservatives are gullible, part infinity: Mother Jones says following Jordan Peterson, right wingers are moving to a beef only diet

    This shit is so stupid that it’s made me hungry. I’m going to go have an In n Out burger with french fries. Meat and potatoes.

  109. 109.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    any NYS constitution experts here? Can Andrew Cuomo be impeached by the left blogosphere on charges of egregious dickitude?

    Waleed Shahid @ _waleedshahid
    Governor Cuomo is mad that CynthiaNixon has called him out for never attending a mosque in 8 years in office.
    Now the official NY Democratic Party is paying for his mailers that are trying to divide and conquer New Yorkers. Shameful.
    [Also, Cynthia is raising her kids Jewish.]

    pics at the link of mailing trying to scare Jewish voters into thinking she hates them

  110. 110.

    NotMax

    @MagdaInBlack

    First season was on Thursday nights at 8.

    NBC, in their ‘wisdom,’ moved it to 8 on Fridays for season 2, which significantly cut into the young adult and teen audience, who were out clubbing or whatever. Then to 9 on Fridays for season 3, which lost the young kids audience.

  111. 111.

    JPL

    @JimV: Unfortunately the umpire made the match about him. Serena is a competitor on the court, but afterwards gave credit to Osaka and said her first grand slam should not be this way. The umpire hurt Osaka as much if not more than Serena.

  113. 113.

    Ken

    @Aleta: My money’s on chemistry trick. But I’ve been deeply suspicious of food chemists since Kool-Aid came out with Great Bluedini and similar “flavors” – you could get a red powder that turned green in water and was orange-flavored.

  115. 115.

    NotMax

    @SiubhanDuinne

    Have a blast.

    Better you then me; something I’d not for a moment consider doing. Only thing on my bucket list is to someday put together a bucket list.

  126. 126.

    frosty

    @SiubhanDuinne: An old friend of mine did the same a few years ago, probably around the age of 65, and she says it was transformative. Me, I got my thrills commuting through the Rockville Roller Coaster on the DC Beltway. I never felt the need to depart a perfectly good airplane.

    Have you seen the youtube of Tom Cruise and James Corden on Corden’s first jump? It’s a hoot. Anyway, have fun and put a checkmark on your bucket list!

  130. 130.

    zhena gogolia

    Why the f–k did I read an article about Obama in the NYT without noticing it was by Peter f–king Baker? “Although he extolled the value of a free press, Mr. Obama took no questions from reporters.”

  138. 138.

    Schlemazel

    @Immanentize:
    Our baby was the chef for this ‘glamping’ outfit in Colorado. They had a huge zip line operation as part of the place. She got 2 free tickets so she and the Mrs. went. Mrs. S says it was the incredibly fun. I am so jealous.

  140. 140.

    Immanentize

    @Schlemazel: It was fun, but also a bit scary. On the last and longest line, the guide strapped the Immp to him and let him “fly” facing down hands and legs free. It was very cool.

  148. 148.

    Yutsano

    @SiubhanDuinne: I have a friend who’s a paratrooper. He’s shown me the videos he can of him jumping. It looks both serene and scary. And I hope your tandem partner is a cutie!

  152. 152.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @SiubhanDuinne: My post-army jumps have been solo. I had experienced people with me to make sure I didn’t fuck up. After jumping in the army, I didn’t want extra-weight attached to me. Have a great time; if Germans aren’t shooting at you, it is amazingly fun.

  154. 154.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Night all! For the first time in five years, an alarm is going off early in the morning. Hoping I can get some sleep! Thanks to all for your good wishes — I’m pretty pumped.

  157. 157.

    stinger

    Cole, why are you putting apple cores in the trash? I thought you had a compost pile in that lovely garden of yours.

  160. 160.

    Miss Bianca

    Between the snark over Thurston and rhe news of SD’s sky diving adventure, this has been a very fun thread, indeed!

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