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You are here: Home / Because of Course It Fucking Is

Because of Course It Fucking Is

by | 102 Comments

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I am now performing voodoo rituals and whatever black magic is necessary to put the kaibosh on Hurricane Florence:

Best case scenario is for it to die at sea. Next best case is for it to turn sharply north and die down. Best case scenario FOR ME PERSONALLY is for it to turn south and take out Florida, but that would be horrible (although let me check the polling on the Nelson/Scott Senate race).

SHOO FLORENCE.

God damnit. I have the insurance but I really want a week in the sun.

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  3. 3.

    debbie

    Even if Florence doesn’t land where you’re going, she’ll be dragging plenty of clouds along with her.

  5. 5.

    rikyrah

    Linda Homer
    ‏

    @LobsterPilates
    Follow Follow @LobsterPilates
    More
    [email protected] says she’s not hearing from her constituents, and now I know why. Today in her Bangor office we witnessed the interns taking many phone calls, but NOT writing down any of the constituents comments. They just said “I’ll pass that on to the Senator.” Then hang up.

    9:04 PM – 7 Sep 2018

  6. 6.

    Jeffro

    Cole, it ain’t just you…I’m supposed to attend a conference at a pretty swanky resort from Sept 11-14 near Jacksonville, FL. Yay.

    Still pales in comparison to folks who are gonna get flooded out, etc, of course.

  7. 7.

    Anonymous At Work

    Name someone for whom the elimination of Florida isn’t for the best, Floridians included…

  11. 11.

    Jeffro

    Washington Feels Like the Capital of an Occupied Country

    …There can be only one explanation for this kind of behavior: White House officials, and many others in Washington, really do not feel they are living in a fully legal state. True, there is no communist terror; the president’s goons will not arrest public officials who testify to Congress; no one will be murdered if they walk out of the White House and start campaigning for impeachment or, more importantly, for the invocation of the 25th Amendment, the procedure to transfer power if a president is mentally or physically unfit to remain in office. Nevertheless, dozens of people clearly don’t believe in the legal mechanisms designed to remove a president who is incompetent or corrupt. As the anonymous op-ed writer put it in the New York Times, despite “early whispers within the cabinet of invoking the 25th Amendment,” none of the secret patriots “wanted to precipitate a constitutional crisis” and backed off.

    You can imagine why this would be. Leading members of Congress might resist invoking the 25th Amendment, which would of course be described by Trump’s supporters as a “Cabinet coup.” The mob — not the literal, physical street mob, but the online mob that has replaced it — would seek revenge. There may not be any presidential goons, but any senior official who signs his or her name to a call for impeachment or removal will certainly be subjected to waves of hatred on social media, starting with a denunciation from the president. Recriminations will follow on Fox News, along with a smear campaign, a doxing campaign, attacks on the target’s family and perhaps worse. It is possible we have underestimated the degree to which our political culture has already become more authoritarian.

    Maybe we have also underestimated the degree to which our Constitution, designed in the 18th century, has proved insufficient to the demands of the 21st. In 2016, we learned why it matters that our electoral college — originally designed to put another layer of people between the popular vote and the presidency, or as Alexander Hamilton wrote, to ensure “that the office of President will never fall to the lot of any man who is not in an eminent degree endowed with the requisite qualifications” — has become a stale fiction. Now an important constitutional amendment seems, to the men and women who are empowered to use it, too controversial to actually use.

    The result: institutional and administrative chaos; our military chain of command is compromised; people around the elected president feel compelled to act above the law and remove papers from his desk. The mechanisms meant to protect the state from an incompetent or dictatorial president are not being used because people in power no longer believe in them, or are afraid to use them. Washington feels like the capital of a state where the legal order has collapsed because, in some ways, it is.

  13. 13.

    Corner Stone

    I am now performing voodoo rituals and whatever black magic is necessary to put the kaibosh on Hurricane Florence:

    Alright, The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion. Where are you now, assface?

  14. 14.

    Corner Stone

    @Jeffro:

    I’m supposed to attend a conference at a pretty swanky resort from Sept 11-14 near Jacksonville, FL.

    Meth hookers provided, or on tap?

  18. 18.

    NotMax

    Pedant mode, activate.

    Wouldn’t mention it except it’s been repeated throughout several posts.

    It’s kibosh, not kaibosh.

    Belgium Put the Kibosh on the Kaiser

    Pedant mode, deactivate.

    Also, TCM alert.

    Sunday, 2:00 a.m. – Ship of Fools. Dripping with Stanley Kramer’s signature in-your-face portentousness, yes, but also chock full of bravura performances from the likes of Vivien Leigh, Lee Marvin, Jose Ferrer and the redoubtable Michael Dunn.

    Also also too, hoping everyone weathers Florence okay. We’ll most likely be greeting Olivia face to face around the same time.

  21. 21.

    HeleninEire

    Hey Cole,

    1. Why would you want a week in the sun? You’ve been bitching all summer about how fucking hot it is. I think many of the bitchings started with “It’s 100,000 degrees here with 150% humidity.”

    2. You really have vacation insurance? Everyone in Europe gets it but I had never heard of it until I moved here.

    3. Fuck Florida (with of course the exception of Adam, Betty, and any other Juicers who live there).

  22. 22.

    Jeffro

    @WereBear:

    I keep hearing “don’t want to start a Constitutional crisis” but we’ve got one now.

    I know, right? I’m like, “I very much DO want a constitutional crisis, yesterday if possible.” Way, waaaay too much enabling and covering up going on, which benefits the Kochs, Mitch McConnell, Russia, and frickin’ Fox News. No. Thank. You.

    We’ve been in a crisis since the summer of 2016, imho.

  23. 23.

    Mary G

    Fingers crossed for you and Lily, John. Are Rosie and Thurston going too? That should provide some great stories for us.

  24. 24.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @rikyrah:
    Are there pictures/video to back this claim up? If so, this goes to show how low Republicans as a whole have sunk. Staffers of a Senator are taking upon themselves to hide constituent complaints from their elected boss for their ideological agenda. That’s fucked up and I don’t know how to fix that other than to vote R officeholders out.

  25. 25.

    maeve

    Check out the site windy.com to see the current winds. You can also play a movie of future days but it is very speculative (don’t know what model they are using). There’s another storm in the Atlantic that looks serious but the projections says it turns North and only the Azores have to worry.

  28. 28.

    Elizabelle

    John: can you slide the reservation a week later or even two weeks from now? Am sure you have thought of that; hope you can. The Atlantic is still swimmable in late September, as I recall, and especially after this summer … I had a great time at the beach on September 21 one year ….

  30. 30.

    Barbara

    Oh shucks. All I can say is, at least you haven’t yet driven down there only to be forced to turn around two days later and evacuate to not nearly as nice digs in Virginia Beach. That happened to my sister two years in a row! I hope you get your vacation — even if it’s a few weeks later, OBX stays nice well into October.

  31. 31.

    Mike in NC

    Too soon to be concerned about the storm that might be heading our way. I was sent to the store to stock up on bottled water. Hoping it stays well offshore. Like Fat Bastard is fond of saying, “We’ll see”.

  32. 32.

    Mary G

    Crowdfund “Be A Hero” campaign raising money for whoever runs against Susan Collins in 2020 had a goal of $200K. They are currently at $635, 673, which is almost half her current campaign chest, and have raised their goal to $1.3 million to match her stash. I plan to start donating after the midterms are over.

    UPDATE: $15,000 away from offering a Collins opponent 50% of Collins' war chest. Pretty nice Senate race starter kit.DONATE: https://t.co/LSWbHvCi1T pic.twitter.com/MaDy0qGkbx— Rob Bennett (@rob_bennett) September 7, 2018

    I hope she will think long and hard about her Kavanaugh vote.

  34. 34.

    OldDave

    @Anonymous At Work: Wait. If we’re talking hurricanes, I’ve seen my fair share over the last 20+ years. Would rather somehow make it through this season without another 7..10 days sans power. The care and feeding of a portable generator gets old after awhile, especially standing in a gas line for over an hour.

  35. 35.

    Mnemosyne

    @rikyrah:

    The senator and her aides probably instructed them to do that. Gives her plausible deniability when she votes for Kavanaugh in a couple of weeks.

    I’m wondering if some of Collins’s constituents don’t need to do a few sit-ins at her Maine offices. Maybe tweet the photos to her (and to the press) so she can’t pretend she doesn’t know.

  36. 36.

    Mnemosyne

    @Jeffro:

    I do find it weirdly ironic that the very mechanism that was designed to protect us from electing a demagogue actually ensured his election.

  37. 37.

    eemom

    I think the travel insurance is better than it used to be — i.e., there doesn’t have to be an evacuation for the coverage to apply. Read your policy. If the coverage is as broad as I think it is, and the storm does land there, you’ll get your money back and can reschedule the trip, as folks have suggested.

  39. 39.

    sukabi

    @Jeffro: the crisis is that the fuckers whine about a constitutional crisis WHILE REFUSING to do their fucking jobs and FOLLOW the constitutional remedies.

  40. 40.

    debbie

    @John Cole:

    Downer or not, just being a realist. A friend in SC says the governor has declared an emergency. They’re predicting a Category 4 when it lands.

  41. 41.

    Jeffro

    However, this makes me happy: even Mulvaney thinks Cruz is so unlikeable that he might not beat Beto!

    President Trump’s budget chief, Mick Mulvaney, expressed confidence to Republican donors on Saturday that the party would overcome a Democratic “movement of hate” in November, but he acknowledged Republicans could lose races where they have nominated candidates who are not seen as “likable” enough, like Senator Ted Cruz of Texas.

    Speaking at a closed-door meeting in New York City alongside Ronna McDaniel, the Republican National Committee chairwoman, Mr. Mulvaney insisted that Democrats and the media were exaggerating the political threat facing Republicans this fall: “They want you to think there’s a blue wave when there’s not,” he said, according to an audio recording of his remarks that was obtained by The New York Times from a person at the meeting.

    But Mr. Mulvaney, who leads both the Office of Management and Budget and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, conceded that Republicans had nominated poor candidates in places and might struggle to defend a huge number of open House seats where Republican incumbents decided not to run for re-election.

    He pointed to the Senate races in Texas and Florida as examples where candidate quality could be decisive.

    Yup. Also, Twitler still doesn’t seem to understand why Roy Moore lost…that’s encouraging. NOT.

  43. 43.

    Mnemosyne

    @Jeffro:

    This makes me suspect again that the purpose of the anonymous WaPo op-ed was to make sure that Republican donors don’t close their checkbooks or — worse! — donate to the Democrats instead.

  50. 50.

    Mnemosyne

    @Barbara:

    Well that would be desperate and pathetic.

    The Trump administration in a nutshell. ?

    Why would anyone trust an anonymous source like that?

    It’s meant to reassure them that they’ll keep getting what they want out of a Republican figurehead president without all of that messy pretending to care about the Constitution. And quite a few Republican donors are greedy and/or stupid enough to buy the con.

  51. 51.

    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    @Corner Stone: Fair cop. Not sure I’m in the same emotional intensity as I apparently was the last time I went off on this topic, but you’re damned right. Let me see what I can whip up. Ahem . . .

  53. 53.

    Yarrow

    God damnit. I have the insurance but I really want a week in the sun.

    I hear you. I had to cancel my first vacation in about three years, which was only going to be for a few days but damn did I need it, because my dad had a health crisis and we went to the ER, then he was admitted for observation for two days, then moved to rehab, and then I spent a day vomiting my guts out (ate something bad it seems) and that delayed everything I needed to do to get him settled so I’ve spent today doing that despite being weak and unable to eat a lot. And no, there is no one else to help because there isn’t. I’m completely alone for all of this.

    I doubt I’ll ever have a vacation again. Enjoy them while you can.

  55. 55.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yarrow:

    Google “respite care” for your area, or ask the hospital’s social worker if they can make a referral. Even having someone to watch him for a few hours while you nap will go a long way.

  57. 57.

    The Dangerman

    Hold the hell on,

    You have that level of voodoo and black magic…

    …and you’re wasting it in a hurricane? Dude, don’t forget Donald. TYVM.

  59. 59.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yarrow:

    You mean your insurance won’t pay for it? You should still be able to find a private company that will send someone to sit with him for a bit. Most areas have some type of private elder care agencies that you can hire.

  62. 62.

    Rob

    John: The 5 pm update from the National Hurricane Center seems to have shifted the landfall site a little further to the north, and closer to your vacation site.

  63. 63.

    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    Attention, Brer Cole: I know you don’t mean it this way, but the “voodoo” references have got to go, homes. You’re using minstrel show language about African diaspora religions that are thousands of years older than any damned religious tradition you may practice, way more complex and diverse than you have the slightest clue about, and absolutely NOT appropriate fodder for the kind of cultural appropriation that privileged white people are engaged in when they use “voodoo” as a jokey synonym for sorcery. I love and respect you, dude, but it is absolutely NOT okay for non-initiate white folks to wipe their rhetorical asses with other cultures’ religious traditions that way, especially when said traditions have been the focus of more than 500 years of racially motivated persecution.

  64. 64.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yarrow:

    Also, if you’re comfortable saying what general metro area you’re in, there may be some jackals who would be able to volunteer to help you for a bit. The front-pagers would be able to get you all in touch via email. Jackals have done hospital visits and suicide interventions before, so don’t forget about us.

  65. 65.

    chopper

    note also, flo is likely to loiter for a few days around the east coast, so even if you’re not looking at landfall ensemble your location you could be in for some big flooding. be careful.

  66. 66.

    Yarrow

    @Mnemosyne: It’s not MY insurance. It’s his and he doesn’t qualify, despite the best efforts of the hospital social worker.

    I’m going to shut up about this because the only things I hear are what I’m doing wrong and what else I should do that I’m not doing despite puking my guts out and hardly being able to stand, let alone function. So…

    Good luck with your trip, Cole.

  67. 67.

    The Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion

    With that said, and in spite of the warm glow I get from thinking “Aww, Corner Stone called me assface!”, I hereby resign from my apparent self-appointed position of defender of African religious tradition. At least until I get triggered again . . .

  68. 68.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Jeffro: Jeebus H. martyr-frackin’ Cripes on a jet-assisted Segway – has anyone here actually read Section 4 of the 25th Amendment for comprehension??

    It really only functions in a situation where either POTUS agrees s/he cannot discharge the duties & powers of the office or is in no physical or mental condition to dispute the assertion. Once POTUS announces that s/he does not agree & intends to continue discharging the duties & powers, the process of Section 4 becomes a Rube Goldberg contraption if not an outright clusterfuck. It contains many vague declarations (e.g., who exactly are the “heads of the executive departments”?) and procedures that can be used to gum up the works & form bases for endless litigation. The Congress (not to mention SCOTUS) would have to sweep a lot of issues under the table or simply overlook them to get the process going at all.

    Frankly it would be simpler for Congress to impeach & remove the President. Not just because it takes fewer votes (majority vs. 2/3 in the House) but because they’d only have to finesse one issue – what constitutes a “high crime & misdemeanor.” They could declare something like,”The nature of the President’s actions warrant impeachment even if no specific laws have been violated, as it is the judgment of Congress that they constitute a failure to live up to his oath of office and thus place the Republic in mortal peril.” (They could even make a Bush-v-Gorean just-this-once declaration to the effect that “we take this step more in sorrow than in anger, but the extraordinary situation requires an extraordinary measure” – & then proceed to propose one or more Constitutional amendments to define & clarify the situation.)

    That’s what I would suggest to Congresss, anyway.

  69. 69.

    Mnemosyne

    @Yarrow:

    And, lastly, because I am very concerned about you right now, even if the very worst does happen, many of us have been there already, and we can help you talk through your feelings about that, too.

  73. 73.

    Elizabelle

    @Yarrow: Yikes. Email Mnemosyne! Anything I say will be platitudes, but this will pass and you will get a vacation again. I’m sorry about your dad’s health crisis.

    Crossing my fingers you get the respite care. And stop throwing up. That would be good.

  74. 74.

    Leto

    @debbie: I offered my parents a place to stay if they need to evacuate. We went through Hugo in ’89 (fun), I managed to evacuate the family the day before Katrina hit (I was essential personal and got to ride it out on Keesler AFB/more fun), so if Flo does smack SC again it won’t be bad for them to be up here in PA. Plus the puppy hasn’t seen them in years and she’ll absolutely lose her brain if they visit.

  78. 78.

    HeartlandLiberal

    Here in south central Indiana it has been raining since the wee hours of Saturday morning. The remnants of tropical storm Gordon. Past 36 hours, total rain about five inches. Flash flooding. I was going to go to home opener of Indiana University football tonight at 7:30, but I talked this morning with friend who was going, and we decided neither of us wanted to sit in constant and possible torrential rain at 62 degrees predicted for game start time. I just checked the outdoor temp: 62 degrees at 7 pm.

    I am too old for that crap anymore. A double scotch and a movie or some series we are watching on Netflix or Acorn TV for me.

    If any of you subscribe to Acorn TV, check out the six part “Mystery Road” from Australia. Powerful acting and story, and absolutely brilliant photography of the barren land of western Australia. The repeated time lapse sequences of the night skies are incredible.

  81. 81.

    Shell

    Well John, lets just hope it skirts the coast and heads northeast, loses power and ends beating up on Long Island. The usual track.

  84. 84.

    Dan B

    @Jeffro: The new documentary Active Measures about Putin’s disruption of democracies seems like a corollary to what’s happening in DC. There’s an interview of the director, Jack Bryan, by Build on You Tube that’s quite good at outlining the connections between Russian meddling and the current state of our government. It intuitively makes sense and it provides another window into the present.

    One shocker for me is that Homeland Security provides no oversight on real estate transactions, the number one way to launder money from overseas. Real estate was exempted from the Homeland Security act. That and Citizens United put a highway through our security.

  85. 85.

    debbie

    @Leto:

    My friend isn’t sure what she’ll do yet. She lives in an almost-tiny house, so I’m hoping she moves inland to stay with family.

  86. 86.

    Anotherlurker

    @Shell: As a former LI who lived thru a Superstorm, I wish you could have chosen another destination for Florence. (somewhat kidding, bur please, LI still isn’t recovered from Sandy)

  88. 88.

    Barbara

    @Yarrow: Not sure of the detailed situation but sending you lots of good thoughts and hope that things get better for both of you.

  89. 89.

    catclub

    @eemom: wow, that would be a big deal, because it would take 2 GOP defections before kavanaugh does not make it. only one and Pence breaks a tie ( at best).

    what is the latest with all the wobbly democrats in the senate, such as Joe manchin and others? Any definitive words?

  90. 90.

    Mart

    @HinTN: Wife and I tried body surfing on the Florida Panhandle after Hurricane Andrew left Homestead on its way to N.O. At one point I was standing on sand and she was next to me on a wave twenty feet in the air spinning like a top. My 80 something father was intrigued when the ocean pulled away from the shore for many hundreds of yards, and he could pick critters up off the seafloor. First I heard the roar, but I could not get to him. When the wave hit him I was trying to think how I will explain his death to my siblings. He was OK, just blew snot for a while. After the wife and I were body slammed a few times we decided maybe it was not a good day for body surfing, the lady at the park entrance was right, that the red flag was right, and we better get the hell out of there.

  92. 92.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Mary G:

    Manu Raju @ mkraju
    Collins doesn’t seem concerned at all that Kavanaugh may overturn Roe, a key sign she may vote yes. But she says: “If in fact (Kavanaugh) was not truthful, then obviously that would be a major problem for me,” referring to his previous testimony

    I’ll believe it when I see it, but if there are any surprises the Dems have to drop, say on a Sunday morning show, this could get interesting.

    What wouldn’t make sense to me, if the money is scaring Collins, is that she wouldn’t use the revelations about his flexible opinion on Roe to walk back her support– and like I say, I’ll believe she’s reconsidering when and if she votes ‘no’.

  93. 93.

    DCrefugee

    Hey, John, not for nothing, but if you make the housing arrangements I’ll *fly* your happy ass (and a guest of your choice) to/from Florida, no charge. Be fun to get to know you en route…

    You not going to get a better transportation deal, and Florence isn’t coming here…

  94. 94.

    Emerald

    @rikyrah: Has to be under her instructions. She decided long ago. The only remedy now is for Mainers to vote her out in 2020. Sadly, the deed will be done by then, and women will be injured or dead.

  95. 95.

    Mart

    @Corner Stone: Totally not our fault. We are from Missouri, so besides a few trips to the ocean, our only other experience body surfing was in narrow channels of the Current River after heavy rains. (That’s good family fun!) Andrew was 250 or so miles south, it was a beautiful sunny day, the wind was normal. The waves looked so awesome. Had no idea of the chaos within them.

    (I just typed this so you all can jump in on “we are from Missouri” jokes.)

  98. 98.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @Yarrow: I’m so sorry. I’ve been there myself not too long ago, and I know how completely overwhelming it can feel.

    FWIW, people were just offering suggestions, since it sounded sudden and you might not been aware of them. (When my mother had cancer, it took me and my brother a couple days to figure what services were available.) No one thought were doing it wrong.

    Please make use of us jackals if there’s any way we can help.

  99. 99.

    But her emails!!!

    @catclub:

    what is the latest with all the wobbly democrats in the senate, such as Joe manchin and others? Any definitive words?

    I suspect wobbly is probably a misnomer. If Democrats can find 2 Republicans to oppose, then all Democrats will oppose as well. On the flip side, if those 2 Republicans can’t be found, then several of the “wobbly dems” will also vote to confirm based on their political calculus.

  100. 100.

    Fair Economist

    @catclub:

    what is the latest with all the wobbly democrats in the senate, such as Joe manchin and others? Any definitive words?

    None of the “wobbly democrats” have ever defected on a vote when it mattered. If there are 2 Republican defectors, none will vote to confirm. If there aren’t, it won’t matter how they vote although between the perjury revelations and the sham McConnell has made of the process, they have very easy “no” votes and I expect all will take them.

  101. 101.

    Skepticat

    @rikyrah: Interestingly (and surprisingly and depressingly) Angus King’s website doesn’t respond when you hit Send to email him, but his phones are busy.

  102. 102.

    Bill Arnold

    @The Dangerman:

    You have that level of voodoo and black magic…
    …and you’re wasting it in a hurricane? Dude, don’t forget Donald. TYVM.

    DJ Trump is being protected by praying Christians:
    Alabama pastor asks church to pray for Trump, against witchcraft attacking him (Aug 22, 2018. Also)

    But here’s what the Holy Spirit said to me last night and what He said for me to tell you. He said, ‘Tell the church that so far, Trump has been dealing with Ahab. But Jezebel’s fixing to step out from the shadows.’ That’s what the Lord said to me.
    He said, ‘Pray for him now, because he said there’s about to be a shift, and the Deep State is about to manifest, and it’s going to be a showdown like you can’t believe.’

    Hurricanes are easy, in comparison. :-) No Christian defenders (one hopes), though there are probably some praying that it turn North and hit some godless (aka Democratic) state.

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