Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Republicans choose power over democracy, every day.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

T R E 4 5 O N

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

After roe, women are no longer free.

Consistently wrong since 2002

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

Not all heroes wear capes.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Scenes From the Flood

Reader Interactions

162Comments

  9. 9.

    Steeplejack

    Sort of glad I’m heading for the high, dry desert!

    Note: The housecat will be in good hands and won’t be affected by no electricity and no Internet, if it comes to that. And Threadkill Lane is not in an area prone to flooding.

  11. 11.

    CaseyL

    If this is indeed the new normal, you might want to consider putting a rice paddy in your back yard. Wild rice, especially: a most useful grain!

  12. 12.

    Gvg

    I think you need drain pipes under the fence. It looks like your neighbors yards aren’t flooding. That water needs to go somewhere else.
    One of the best family vacations I ever had was as a kid we stayed in a beach house. A hurricane went along the coast while we were there and churned up the ocean. We had the most amazing tidal pools with all kinds of shells and live starfish, plus the sea foam was so fluffed up it blew into these tidal pool mini coves and piled up over a foot deep. It was fun to walk knee high in sea foam. If you kicked it, little balls would break loose and go rolling across the sand like mini tumble weeds, collecting an outer coat of sand till the foam collapsed. It was also a bit cooler, not as hot.
    Your vacation is not doomed yet, tho not safe either. Also storms kick up more shells after. Hope you have some luck.

  19. 19.

    SenyorDave

    Cat 4 hitting NC/SC coast, could be looking at another Hugo. Maybe we’ll see a sharp unexpected turn north, but not looking good at this point.

  20. 20.

    ant

    Yeah, far be it from me telling Mr Cole what to do with his trees, but willows…..

    They grow really fast, and get really big. And branches fall off.

    John, don’t be afraid to aggressively prune that thing every winter. Keep it small.

  22. 22.

    WaterGirl

    Yikes! It looks like a swimming pool, with the fence playing the role of sides to the cement pond, keeping all the water in.

    When I was a kid, I always wanted a flood because I thought it would be so cool to get to swim everywhere. In my mind, the flood water was as clean and clear as the swimming pool.

  24. 24.

    frosty

    I have a small brick patio, about the size of your deck, which wasn’t built with drainage in mind so consequently it looks a little like your yard. Question: Why doesn’t being underwater kill the dandelions and other weeds growing up between the bricks? Can’t we get a break here?

  25. 25.

    Barbara

    I got married on the day Hugo began having effects north of where it made US landfall. We cut the cake just as the temperature began dropping 30 degrees in an hour, then wrapped up our outdoor reception. We knew people getting married the same day in Charleston. That didn’t happen. Hugo also nailed the Virgin Islands. The real problem is going to be the possible inland flooding. Along with your vacation. A lot of the east coast is still pretty warm if you need to bail on OBX.

  26. 26.

    Miss Bianca

    Completely off-topic, but I just wanted to let our esteemed blog host know that, based solely on his enthusiastic recommendation, I sought out and obtained some Gingergold apples from the orchard market in Canon City, and yeah, I agree…they are pretty much All That. They threaten to knock the Honeycrisp off the top of my favorites list.

  30. 30.

    Barbara

    @Cheryl Rofer: Category 4 in the Outer Banks is devastating. Hugo was really fast moving and compact, which is what made it less awful than it could have been.

  32. 32.

    Ohio Mom

    @Gvg: I have also noticed that the fence seems to be keeping the water inside the yard.

    Not that I should talk. Parts of our front yard are beginning to resemble Cole’s backyard.

  37. 37.

    raven

    This is from The Oregon Inlet Idiots facebook.

    Get prepared folks! Any one who wants to come on this page and talk shit about what we are posting, I suggest you hit the “unlike” option. I spend a lot of time covering these storms. We have sold t-shirts from previous storms that all proceeds have gone to local organizations for hurricane relief. So if you wanna say this, that or the other thing in a negative way please take your sorry ass someplace else. For those who are offended by me using the word “ass”, please exit to the door marked “unlike”. I am an adult. I am not easily offended, if you don’t like a post scroll on by and continue along with your day. No good deed goes unpunished.

  38. 38.

    karen marie

    Dear John:

    Have you considered unsealing the bottom of the fence so that the water doesn’t pile up inside the yard? I’m looking to the left and the right, and they look perfectly fine. Or, you could simply pour concrete and go with a giant swimming pool. You could charge admission to cover costs?

  42. 42.

    Dan B

    @Miss Bianca: Haven’t encountered Gingergold here in the PNW but we did a taste test of 8 different new varieties with friends over Lanor Day. Tops was a green apple called Lemonade followed by Rave.

  43. 43.

    JPL

    Since this is an open thread, Collins is hedging about Kavanaugh, because if he lied that would bother her. I have been unable to link to the press herald article though. So maybe she’ll say he didn’t mean it?

  44. 44.

    Ohio Mom

    @sukabi: It is an interesting contrast, the neighbor’s yard and driveway v. Cole’s. It does seem to indicate that it isn’t just how much rain has fallen, it is a drainage issue, and it is fixable. Maybe John needs s consultation with a landscaper or landscape architect.

  45. 45.

    HinTN

    @Ruviana: Moi, aussi. Why are brand new boards being installed in a brand new deck? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Also too, why ain’t there show already on the road?

  50. 50.

    sukabi

    @Dan B: might depend on grocery store…in sw washington ginger holds started showing up last year…fresh crop just hit a couple of the stores I shop at.

  51. 51.

    trollhattan

    @JPL:

    because if he lied that would bother her

    Popcorn sometimes bothers my teeth but I keep eating it. I suspect Collins will get over it and vote for him anyway. Prove me wrong, senator!

  52. 52.

    Corner Stone

    I am curious why Cole is not French Draining the water into the empty green space behind his property?

  53. 53.

    raven

    Allianz Global Assistance names several covered reasons for canceling a trip that can be related to severe weather. For instance:

    Your travel carrier cannot get you to your original itinerary’s destination for at least 24 consecutive hours from the originally scheduled arrival time due to severe weather (or another covered reason)
    Your tour operator cancels your multi-day tour that was purchased prior to your departure date due to severe weather (or another covered reason)
    Your destination is uninhabitable
    The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s (NOAA) or foreign equivalent has issued a cyclone, hurricane, or typhoon warning at your destination that is in effect within 24 hours prior to your departure date (available only with OneTrip Premier)
    Government authorities order a mandatory evacuation at your destination that is in effect within 24 hours prior to your departure date.
    However, travel insurance is meant to protect travelers against sudden and unforeseen events — not threats that are already on the horizon when the insurance is purchased. If you buy travel insurance after a winter or tropical storm has been named, or after the NOAA or a similar agency has issued a warning, your plan won’t provide coverage for claims related to that event. Make sure you buy trip cancellation insurance well in advance of your departure.

  56. 56.

    Corner Stone

    I’m just glad that once again we can all see the fact that Ben Wittes is dumb. He is not smart. He’s not someone to be putting any stock in his analysis. Because he is quite dumb.

  57. 57.

    HinTN

    @raven:

    We’re holding our breath this week because we’re due to arrive at Holden Beach next Saturday and they’re just west of what looks like landfall at Cape Fear.

  58. 58.

    M. Bouffant

    @Corner Stone: I wondered what a French drain was; sorry I asked:

    A French drain or weeping tile (also trench drain, filter drain, blind drain, rubble drain, rock drain, drain tile, perimeter drain, land drain, French ditch, sub-surface drain, sub-soil drain or agricultural drain)

  59. 59.

    Dan B

    @Miss Bianca: Haven’t encountered Gingergold here in the PNW but we did a taste test of 8 different new varieties with friends over Lanor Day. Tops was a green apple called Lemonade followed by Rave. @sukabi: Great news! I’ll look at several stores.

  61. 61.

    Aleta

    That willow looks very happy. After we lose the Great Trade Wars and the Warmarts are all gone, John will have pain medicine from the bark and anti-inflammatory leaves to barter. Sitting on his porch in a homemade twig chair weaving baskets, selling fishing nets and brooms. Charcoal pencils. Theoretically.

  62. 62.

    WaterGirl

    @JPL: i want to know why all the focus is on these 2 unreliable — when we should be working on Flake and Corker to actually stand for something on their way out.

  63. 63.

    NotMax

    @Dan B

    Am not a big nor a regular eater of apples but when the rare urge to buy one or two does show up have found Jazz to be quite tasty.

  64. 64.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @JPL: I’ll believe it when I see it, I still think she’s loyal to McConnell, but a group collecting pledges to go to her opponent has over 500K, and word’s gotten out that her staff isn’t recording anti-Kavanagh calls.

  66. 66.

    Dan B

    @Corner Stone: Our Labor Day taste test included Honeycrisp. It did not come out on top. Fifth place after Lemonade and Rave came out on top. A couple others were also better. Rave is the most lkke Honeycrisp.

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    @WaterGirl: Agreed. Flake may need to actually keep working somewhere after the Senate (not sure of his wealth as it looks like a few million dollars). But Corker is a very wealthy man. He has FU money and can do whatever he feels is right. That means if he votes for Kavvy then it’s because he wants to.

  68. 68.

    Roger Moore

    @JPL:

    Since this is an open thread, Collins is hedging about Kavanaugh, because if he lied that would bother her.

    Sounds like her constituents are letting her know their opinions. Keep it up and you might change her mind!

  69. 69.

    HinTN

    @raven: No, we’ve never bought or needed it in all our years of going there (and other beach places). This may be the one that bites us.

  71. 71.

    raven

    @HinTN: I’ve bought it for our OBX trips, we rent from friends on 30a and they’ve let us off the hook twice for weather.

  73. 73.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @WaterGirl: Collins and Murkowski both pay lip service to choice. Heller might be a worthwhile target, but Flake is a hard-core Mormon conservative

  75. 75.

    danielx

    Third day here as well. Rain was supposed to end here by 10 am….instead it just sorta shifted to this wind-driven mist that gets inside everything, including gore-tex. Only upsides are that fall is definitely on the way and there should be lots of autumn color.

    Five inches so far….

  77. 77.

    NotMax

    @JPL

    We’ve seen this movie innumerable times before.

    Collins always hedges, then when the time comes tramples the hedges down in the rush to vote aye.

    If past practice is any guide (and it is) she’ll mumble something about having “received assurances” as a justification. Assurances emptier than Mother Hubbard’s cupboard.

  79. 79.

    chris

    @JPL: Press Herald link to piece on Collins. See also:

    .@SenatorCollins says she’s not hearing from her constituents, and now I know why. Today in her Bangor office we witnessed the interns taking many phone calls, but NOT writing down any of the constituents comments. They just said “I’ll pass that on to the Senator.” Then hang up.— Linda Homer (@LobsterPilates) 8 September 2018

  80. 80.

    ljt

    Well, I live on Edisto Island, one block from the beach. I’m starting to freak out a little. Edisto is just south of Charleston–where Hugo hit (oddly enough on the day my oldest was born, though fortunately we lived in Maryland at the time). This is our 3rd year here as permanent residents, and we’re looking at our 3rd hurricane in a row (Matthew, Irma, now Florence).

  82. 82.

    debbie

    @Miss Bianca:

    Ginger Gold apples have been my favorite for years. They show up around July and the season lasts for about a month. It’s a sad day when they start turning mushy.

    Around here, the Honeycrisp harvest is in trouble (weather), and orchards are canceling their Pick Your Own days.

  83. 83.

    Corner Stone

    @Miss Bianca: If one has kissed the hem of the Goddess Aphrodite need one spoil their existence worshiping any others?
    But yes. My son and I are avid consumers of the apple clan, if not fresh off the tree. As all right thinking Americans, he concurs, and we remain a Honeycrisp household. When they are out of season we make do with the lesser offerings.

  85. 85.

    sgrAstar

    Definitive frightener re certain trees: Algernon Blackwood’s The Willows. Read it when I was about 10…never forgotten. Truly creepy. And the Cole backyard is definitely exhibiting a The Willows-y vibe….

  86. 86.

    NotMax

    Hoping one more mug of coffee will provide motivation to go outside and get a full property mowing out of the way. Must be done ahead of the arrival of Olivia.

  87. 87.

    Corner Stone

    @HinTN: He’s also *really* tiny. I mean, small in stature.
    “So, BillinGlendale, Corker and Tom Cruise go into a bar in a trenchcoat…”

  88. 88.

    MomSense

    @chris:

    And that’s if you get through. I get nothing but voicemail options and most of the time the voicemail is full.

    Collins doesn’t want to hear from us.

  89. 89.

    chris

    Looking at the picture and wondering if there is any gap under the fence and which way does the yard slope. Sumthin’ ain’t right. /retired landscaper

  90. 90.

    mawado

    Grand Designs – Buckinghamshire https://www.netflix.com/watch/80160920?trackId=13752289&tctx=0%2C6%2C536db9d4-b385-4d07-a3e4-c7d756eeaea7-59488538%2C%2C

    If you haven’t watched, it’s worth some time. British people try to manage their own house builds in unusual places, with unusual materials, and nary a clue. This episode is about a couple that decide to build a house on the Thames, on an island with no road access. Because the river floods often, they decide to build an amphibious house that floats in a hole they dig in the ground.

    Trust me.

  91. 91.

    Corner Stone

    @chris: I used to have trouble keeping track of the Jennifers on this site. Then the “cat” related nyms. Now it’s either “Eric”‘s or “Chris”‘s. Are you the one in Newfie?

  93. 93.

    Frances

    We had a similar problem on a smaller scale where water would pond between our house and the neighbors driveway.

    We rented a ditch witch and dug out a trench to a point well beyond the area that flooded. Put in cloth, gravel and drainage tubes. It solved our problem.

    Wonder if something similar to our French Drain could solve your problem.

  100. 100.

    Hungry Joe

    No rain in San Diego since, I think, March. We have buckets in showers to collect water for plants, likewise bucket in kitchen to collect water as it heats up for dishes. Most restaurants don’t serve water unless it’s requested.

  101. 101.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @NotMax: One of my clearest childhood memories is of Hazel – watching the limbs on the huge willows that surrounded the big dark brown old creepy house across the street (where the scary old widow lived who owned most all the land across the street) whipping their leaves wildly back & forth in the gales through the near-dark of midafternoon.

  102. 102.

    Miss Bianca

    @debbie: I wonder if relative humidity has anything to do with apple condition…I notice that the Macintoshes (another fave rave of mine) that we get from the grocery store – and which are presumably trucked in from quite a ways away – appear to be far mushier in texture than the ones grown locally.

  107. 107.

    wvng

    For those many who are saying John just needs better drainage, better slope, maybe a french drain, while all that may be true, I am sitting on the other side of WV where I have lived for 35 years and the ground is more saturated than I have ever before seen. water is pooling in ways I have only seen twice in a quarter century, and all the usual drainage that has always worked just can’t keep up. One of the two times this happened before was this May, and I had planned to rent a backhoe to work on the drainage when we dried out, and we never dried out. And in a week Florence may be here. This is nuts.

  108. 108.

    Amir Khalid

    @Corner Stone:
    On the other hand, you’ll never have a problem figuring which Amir Khalid is comenting. I recommend that all jackals pick an exotic foreign-sounding nym.

  110. 110.

    Kelly

    Perfect September day in the Willamette Valley. Had a great swim in the river. Probably the last time this year.

  112. 112.

    chris

    @wvng: Joys of climate change. Southwest Nova Scotia (where it used to rain every few days) is working on its second drought in as many years. Lawns are brown and 200 year old wells are going dry. I’m afraid to look.

  117. 117.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @Kyle: we’d love to send you half of what we’ve had the past two months if we could. Signed, the entire Mid-Atlantic.

  123. 123.

    Aleta

    For Florence, are there other possible paths in the current predictions? (Not at NOAA is all I know.) Is it too early for models to diverge?

    Is all still normal with the weather tools, or has the Republican Revolutionary Push for Failure reduced funding for the runs, restricted data collection ‘simplified’ the report form?

    (Next year Jared’s Office of Kushner Excellent Innovation expects to roll out a modernized ouija board system. )

  132. 132.

    dww44

    @Gvg: I observed and thought the same thing. Maybe a variation on a French drain? Where exactly is John’s beach vacation supposed to be and when? I missed out on all that, although apparently it must be in the Carolina’s somewhere.

  138. 138.

    sdhays

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Heller knows that his only hope of remaining in office is keeping Trump’s base frothing at the mouth over him. Being a moderate is not particularly part of his “brand” beyond being from a purple state (does he even have a brand?), so he has nothing really to gain by pretending to have a moderate gene now, when the stakes are so high.

    Collins and Murkowski are different. They won office by being officially pro-choice. Collins has been unassailable in the past due to her reputation for “moderation”, as undeserved as it might be. She’s up for reelection in 2020, and a vote to confirm a guy as transparently hackish and hostile to choice as Kavanaugh could really put her seat in jeopardy. Murkowski is currently in the Senate directly due to Democratic voters. Supporting Kavanaugh would trash the coalition which put her in power last time, so there are serious risks to doing that. But she’s not up for reelection until 2022, so maybe she’ll decide it’s worth the risk.

    Both Collins and Murkowski, like all Senate Republicans, want to vote yes. If Trump had picked a garden variety hard-right judge, one who could play the normal kabuki and had absolutely no paper trail, Collins and Murkowski could play dumb and possibly get away with it (at least believe they could get away with it). But Trump wanted more than a garden variety Stone Age conservative; he wanted a totally corrupt hack. And as more comes out about how hackish and corrupt Kavanaugh is, the greater the risk for Collins and Murkowski.

    I won’t believe they’re voting against him until he’s officially been withdrawn, but those two are definitely the only two who have any real incentive to do so.

  139. 139.

    Another Scott

    @Gin & Tonic: Hmm…

    I would have said that about the Winesap. The ones I’ve had were from an orchard in west-central Ohio (near Wapakoneta). It’s apparently an ancient variety in the USA.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  140. 140.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Another Scott: You will note that on that blog you link to, the Macoun is one of only five “3-star” apple varieties. Your Winesap is not one of the five.

    Sorry.

  143. 143.

    dww44

    @catclub: I wouldn’t be averse to that. After a relatively wet summer we’ve gone bone dry for the last couple of weeks under a blazing sun. Early September weather here has always been my least favorite time of the year. The summer blahs.

  144. 144.

    dww44

    @sdhays: Thanks for this. I’ve folks who are so called pro life so my argument to them is that those hearings proved that he’s a liar and no one should want him to get a lifetime appointment on the SC.

  145. 145.

    Miss Bianca

    @Another Scott: Winesaps are, indeed, an heirloom varietal. I remember falling in love with the name when I was a kid reading some book set on a farm in Iowa, where it was one of the apple varieties grown in the orchard. Remember being thrilled when I finally found some after moving to Colorado! I like them well enough, but don’t love them – that being said, when I get around to blending my own cider, I am definitely going to include them in the mix.

  146. 146.

    sdhays

    @dww44: Trump’s “lodestar” is always to find the absolute worst people for any given job. Kavanaugh is the Supreme equivalent of the guy he tried to appoint to the Federal Circuit who barely had a law degree, had never been in court, and couldn’t explain what habeas corpus is (or some other similarly basic concept). He is extremely unqualified, even by the low standards of the other Republicans currently on the Court. So of course he was the one Spankee chose.

  147. 147.

    JR

    @Corner Stone: Of the widely available varieties, Honeycrisp and the other newfangled varieties (Snapdragon and Sweetango) are the best. Hands down.

    I do love the Rubinette, Orin, and Cox Orange, though. You won’t find those in your grocery unfortunately.

  148. 148.

    Ruckus

    @sdhays:
    Well shitgibbon is a narcissist deluxe, so he believes that everyone should be like him, the perfect person. One that’s self centered, arrogant, and consistently wrong. And Kav is that bad. Not exactly like shitgibbon of course no one will ever measure down to that level. At least no one in public life, ever again. A boy can dream, right?

  150. 150.

    J R in WV

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    …Flake is a hard-core Mormon conservative

    Wait — I thought those religious people didn’t believe in violating civil criminal law, lying, theft of valuable information (emails) all that immorality — right? Wrong? I dunno, not being churched and all, I don’t believe in lying, stealing, illegal shenanegans like that… but I’m not religions.

    Maybe Mormons have different standards?? Like, some lying is OK, even under oath?

  153. 153.

    Aleta

    @Ruckus: Well shitgibbon is a narcissist deluxe

    That’s a narcissist in a pickle that comes with fries, mayo and a small coke no one knows how much coke, right?

  154. 154.

    PIGL

    @debbie: Empire apples are the best that I’ve ever tasted. They have a delicious crab apple scent; I have never noticed any cinnamon but maybe here in Quebec we’re too far north.

  155. 155.

    opiejeanne

    @PIGL: Late to the thread, it’s probably dead. We grow an apple called Williams Pride that we love. Ripens late August here, though this year they were a bit early and some cooked on the tree it was so hot, but the rest were divine. They have a perfumy scent and are lovely apples. I just used the last of them in an apple crisp.

  156. 156.

    JAFD

    Stay safe, all you jackals in hurricane zones !

    I remember Hurricane Hazel – was quite young then, but ’twas Big Thing – family had gathered at my grandfather’s place, power went off, candles, and his roof blew off – think that happened after I was asleep…

    Has gone from 95 high Wednesday to 65 Sunday, me old bones no like.

    Apples – I’d put Staymans and Winesaps at top of my list, and a supply of sharp cheddar and peanut butter

    Go Iggles !

  161. 161.

    opiejeanne

    @What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?: I’m stunned that anyone else has heard of them. I’ve never seen them grown commercially but maybe they are somewhere. My only grocery store, the stupid Haggens which is really an Albertsons and not as good as before, only carries the usual apples with the addition of Jazz. They just showed up and I’m suspicious that they’ve been in cold storage for the past year.
    I’m in Washington. Apples should not cost $4 a pound!

  162. 162.

    moops

    Your yard looked like this last year too. You appear to be the lowest property in your vicinity. You either need a drain that runs to a nearby creek or you need to raise your property a few feet higher. You won’t get there with French Drains. Those are meant to handle rain surges to accelerate movement to a lower place and prevent scouring and overcome impermeable surface. You just have rain rain rain. You can check your soil permeability but in your part of the country it is likely OK. I realize you have put in hard work on the current landscaping, but this will continue happening and likely get worse as our new normal moves to harder rainfall in your area. How high is your foundation from your crawlspace planks? Are you still dry under your home?

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