I know from reading comments in relation to both the allegations against Judge Kavanaugh and how the GOP majority in the Senate, the President, and their surrogates in the media are responding to them are negatively effecting a number of our readers and commenters. Or friends and/or family members of our readers and commenters. If you or someone you know is having trouble right now, especially if it is after hours or you can’t get to a professional mental health care practitioner for a face to face appointment, please call RAINN! They have personnel available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at:
RAINN’s Online Chat
Hearing about sexual violence in the media and online can be very difficult for survivors and their loved ones. Remember to take care of yourself during these times. Below is a thread of resources:
— RAINN (@RAINN) September 24, 2018
Free. Confidential. 24/7. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is here for support—800.656.HOPE & https://t.co/j9dQGwplI2
— RAINN (@RAINN) September 14, 2018
For those who want to check things out online, here’s RAINN’s terms of service:
The National Sexual Assault Online Hotline
Chat online with a trained staff member who can provide you confidential crisis support.
Your privacy and safety are crucial. Please make sure you are in a safe place and that you are using a secure device and Internet connection. Please note that while we have taken numerous measures to keep your communications safe while using our site, no Internet transmission is 100% secure.
During your session, we will not ask for information that would identify you (such as your name or address) and we will not record the chat. However, if you disclose your name and location and are under 18 or if we fear that you are in danger of committing suicide (or otherwise as required by law), we may have to provide information you have given us to the appropriate authorities.
At that link is a button for online chat if that is preferable/easier than speaking to someone on the phone.
RAINN’s front page is at this link.
Here’s the link to finding local, in person help if you need it.
And here’s the link for tips for survivors regarding consuming news and entertainment media.
Here’s the link to RAINN’s information on flashbacks.
And finally, here’s the link for self care for friends and family.
You’re not alone! You don’t have to be alone! There is help out there! And you deserve that help if you need it!
Here’s some more on RAINN for those not familiar with the organization.
I know I speak for all of the other front pagers, but if you need something, please reach out to one of us using the contact a front pager tool at the top right of the page.
I would encourage anyone — ANYONE — who is having a problem to talk to somebody who is not a friend/family member. Therapy is a wonderful thing. Therapy saved my life. I have had two instances of unwanted sexual contact, but neither of those rose, in my mind, to sexual assault. I found them hurtful, but not traumatizing. My panic attacks relate to something else. But the principal is the same. Anything that makes you feel unsafe is worthy of care. It doesn’t matter what other people think of it, it only matters how it makes you feel. Don’t compare your trauma to anybody else’s. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel unworthy. Don’t feel bad. And if you do feel any of those things, express it anyway. TALK. Refuse to be afraid.
I have often considered getting a new tattoo to cover my port scare. What I have decided on is a little bird taking flight and the words BE BRAVE. You can be brave in small ways. Be brave is doing what you need. Be brave in asking for what you need. Be brave in telling your truth even if you think other people will not understand it. Be brave in letting other people bear your burden. THIS IS THE HARDEST THING. LET OTHER PEOPLE SHARE YOUR BURDEN. Enough of them are happy to do it. Enough of them. Ignore those who don’t or can’t.
I’ve been a Jackal since the good old/bad old Schiavo days. I’ll be honest that there are times that Balloon Juice has been the thing that got me through a hard time way more than one time. We are stronger together.
Thank you, Adam! Several commenters have been willing to share their stories over the last few days, but I was starting to worry about the people who needed a more private outlet.
To those in pain, please get some help. Please.
Villago Delenda Est
Thank you, Adam.
Also, too, what rikyrah said.
@jacy: What a lovely comment. I sometimes think that I’ve spent so much time in therapy that I should be fine and all fixed, then something like this comes up. It never goes all the way away. Love your tattoo idea. And second the thanks to Balloon Juice.
And thank you for the links, Adam. You are an informational rock star. I have people I can talk to, but not all of them all of the time, so it’s good to know this is here for those 3 a.m. freakouts when I don’t want to wake somebody up.
I was a hotline counselor for almost 4 yrs, a very long time ago.
It was a very humbling experience. @jacy: is very, very correct. It’s not what is in someone else’s head, it’s what’s in yours. It matters what you think, it matters how you feel. Most of us need help at some point, it is far better to ask those willing and able to help than someone you know. And if that person doesn’t feel right it’s OK to ask for someone else.
But the important thing is to reach out for help when you need it.
A wonderful post. Well said. ?????????
Due to things that were happening in my life, that were bleeding into my work life,
HR and my VP recommended I take an anger management course, then use my Wellness Benifits for therapy.
At Anger Management, I learned I was the only guy there voluntarily, the rest of the class was either heading to jail, or leaving jail, and it was all men. I learned some life skills and the biology of anger that I use to this day.
Therapy was all the way across town, and with in 20 minutes, I knew that the guy I was with, couldn’t do a thing for me. I asked to book with a different therapist, they said he might not work out, because he was a child abuse specialist and mostly worked with children. We immediately clicked. 3 sessions with him and with me doing the “work” and the origional issue was solved.
9 sessions left so we got to work on my issues of being a child abuse survivor.
Go, get help if you need it, if you want it, and get the best for yourself.
Thank you, Adam.
Strength and peace to all who are in need of them.
Major Major Major Major
Thanks Adam. Like most gay men I’ve been sexually assaulted, though oddly enough this hasn’t been triggering for me. Probably because it wasn’t at the hands of a straight frat boy, and I am not a woman.
Thank you for this, Adam. This has been very difficult for so many people.
Thank you Adam and all front pagers for all your dedicated and incredibly well-informed work. I don’t even know where to go with all the emotions that are in Brownian motion inside me on a daily basis. It’s become like living in one of the creepier Hieronymus Bosch paintings.
Apparently a coalition of Mormon women have written to the Committee and especially their Mormon senators (Hatch et al) saying they need to slow the f*ck down (my phrasing) and investigate the accusers’ claims against Kavanaugh. That’s pretty interesting.
I keep thinking about the massive disconnect between sex crimes and any other theft. Do the police ask the homeowners if they were drunk after an attempted burglary? No, they were just guilty of having a house that unfortunately attracted some jackasses’ eye. (ok what is the singular possessive of jackass? Autocorrect is not helping here.) “Officer someone just tried to attack me in my car, throttled me through the window, tried to drag me out…” “Well, sir, were you drunk? Because drunk=carjack victim obviously, so your fault.” I just can’t even….
Stay sane everyone.
Sister Golden Bear
Thank you, Adam (and the other front pagers).
Therapy should be viewed like having a physical or dental check up. The mind needs a regular defragging. It’s worked wonders for me by going off an on for years.
J R in WV
Thanks for this, Adam. Very thoughtful of you, very important for many people. Maybe all of us!