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It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

The willow is too close to the house.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

Hey hey, RFK, how many kids did you kill today?

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Republicans in disarray!

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This really is a full service blog.

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Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

You are here: Home / Nature & Respite / No Jury Would Convict

No Jury Would Convict

by | 78 Comments

This post is in: , ,

I mean, seriously:

Sergey Savitsky, an engineer [at Bellingshausen Station, a Russian research station in the South Shetland Islands in Antarctica], is accused of stabbing welder Oleg Beloguzov in the chest, the Sun* reports.

So far, so good — just one more incident in the human carnival, albeit in chillier conditions than most.  But wait! What could possibly have driven Savitsky to his savage act?

The alleged attack was said to be the result of an argument between the two over Beloguzov’s habit of spoiling the endings of books that he’d read from the remote outpost’s library.

Welp.

That changes the matter.

I mean — these guys are stuck together for year-long-stretches.  Serial spoiling is no mere prank, and not even simply provocation: it’s an assault on all that’s right and holy!

After all:  who among us hasn’t felt the urge, and been saved from the evil impulse only by the fact that we can leave the house and read something else…

No jury would convict.

Amirite?

Oh, and btw:

Some reports suggest that alcohol was involved.

Ya think?

PS:  the good news:

Beloguzov was evacuated to Chile for medical treatment, and his life is reportedly not in danger.

So anyway. I figured we needed a little respite today, and here it is.  Open thread.

*Yeah. I know.

Image: Johann Hamza, The Reader, before 1928

Reader Interactions

78Comments

  2. 2.

    Brachiator

    Saw this story earlier and enjoy this take on it.

    Hell yeah, the guy got what was coming to him!

    Makes me wonder, though. Aren’t these people given psychological tests to see if they can deal with long stretches of isolation without killing one another?

    My second favorite offbeat story:

    U.S. troops drank all the beer in Iceland’s capital in one weekend

    Last week, thousands of U.S. troops arrived in Iceland; Newsweek explains that the “military personnel are headed to Sweden and Finland for the Trident Juncture 18—considered to be NATO’s biggest military exercise since the Cold War,” and made a pitstop at Iceland along the way.

    Over the weekend, Iceland magazine reports that the influx of troops subsequently managed to deplete the capital of Reykjavík of practically every single beer available. Establishments like “the restaurant Sæta Svínið, The American Bar and other downtown bars reportedly finished all their beer supplies serving the 6-7,000 sailors who were in town.” The military personnel apparently preferred “local beers over imports, and were very willing to sample different micro brews as well as the more popular standard lagers.”

    USA! USA!

  3. 3.

    Dan B

    My Great Uncle Jones was a Federal Marshall in Alaska, family lore says he was the first Fed Marshall. He spent most of his time going to the boonies to bring back men who “cabin fever”. Long dark cold months sorta like solitary but often with a cabin mate or neighbor. He knew a few things about de-escalation.

  5. 5.

    Origuy

    @Brachiator: Beer was illegal in Iceland until 1989, so they probably don’t produce much. Kudos to the American personnel for not insisting on Bud Light. (Or worse, Bud Light Lime, a la General McChrystal.)

  6. 6.

    Nicole

    This Beloguzov guy is an asshole. Seriously, that’s Grade A asshole behavior. I have no doubt Trump would do it, too, if he knew how to read.

  7. 7.

    bmoak

    I lived in Japan from 1994-2000. Often there was a long enough lag time between a movie’s theatrical release in the States and the Japan release that when I came home for my annual visit, a movie that hadn’t come out in Japan yet would already be on cable or out on vide.

    One time, I was staying at my dad’s watching the Sixth Sense, which I had scrupulously avoided all. spoilers for, on HBO. He came in and said,”Hey, isn’t this the one where Bruce Willis was dead along?”

  11. 11.

    Shana

    @bmoak: What did you do?

    ETA: watched the Sixth Sense with a bunch of daughter’s friends when they were in High School None of us had seen it before or knew what the ending was. When it was revealed one of the kids went nuts. Exactly the reaction the filmmaker would have wanted.

  12. 12.

    Nicole

    @bmoak: Ugh; spoilers! I reduced a “I’m a tough He-Man” acquaintance of mine almost to tears because he thought it was hilarious to tell me the end of Titanic two days after it came out (NOT THE PART ABOUT THE BOAT SINKING HA HA HA YOU’RE HILARIOUS. THE JACK PART).

    I’m sorry you had TSS spoiled. I still remember the “WHAT?!” reaction I had when I saw it (months into it’s release; I’m not sure how I avoided hearing the ending).

    Man, Haley Joel Osmont was a really good child actor.

  13. 13.

    Raoul

    I can’t believe I’m gonna be the guy to point this, but Kanye decided to make a little news this afternoon. Because the clusters, they weren’t ___y enough already.

    @TMZ
    Kanye West Breaks From Donald Trump and Says ‘I’ve Been Used’

    Sorry – if this should be in Adam’s thread, Tom you can delete this. You said respite, and this ain’t it.

  14. 14.

    trollhattan

    I’d be really curious to read a transcript of the medical emergency call. Where’s Russian Bob Newhart when you need him?

  15. 15.

    trollhattan

    @Raoul:
    That can only mean one thing: Kanye invested in a Trump business venture!

    Great country, or greatest country?

  25. 25.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    OT, but some of you may remember that I retired last year from the Smithsonian Institution after 30 some odd years. My last project, organizing a NASM exhibition on the Moon for travel, has actually happened and just opened in the South Florida Museum, Bradenton, Florida. Plenty of activities for adults and children, including a photography lesson! After Florida, it will be in Houston, Texas, Huntsville, Alabama, Tacoma, Washington and Norman, Oklahoma – this link gets you to the schedule. Go if you can!

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    @Dan B

    Great Uncle Jones

    Strictly FYI, in downtown Manhattan there is a Great Jones Street.

    (There’s also Little West 12th Street, but that’s another story. AFAIK, remains a cobblestone street to this day.)

  30. 30.

    cain

    @Shana:

    ETA: watched the Sixth Sense with a bunch of daughter’s friends when they were in High School None of us had seen it before or knew what the ending was. When it was revealed one of the kids went nuts. Exactly the reaction the filmmaker would have wanted.

    That was me last night, I’ve been reading this page turning lawyer/courtroom/murder mystery book and I had all these theories and I was taken aback when the reveal came and I don’t usually burst out saying thing, but I said out loud “WTF! Are you kidding me! Jaysus!” I had some basic stuff right, but goddam and there was some refrain that kept happening and when the reveal came it fucked me up when I realized the butler did it!

  31. 31.

    Kay (not the front-pager)

    Ohh you think this is a good story (I already commented on a tweet about this that it wasn’t an excuse for the stabbing but it was certainly an explanation). You just have to tune in to the phony story about payments to women to smear Robert Mueller. It is the most boneheaded, incompetent plot in existence. OK it’s a Jacob Wohl plot. ‘Nuff said. But the shear lunacy! There’s a company, or rather “company” involved called Surefire Intelligence, the phone number of which forwards to Jacob’s mom’s phone mailbox. It has a managing partner, “Matthew Cohen”, whose headshot is a picture of Wohl. The Tel Aviv Station Chief is a model, The Financial Investigator in Zurich is Sigourney Weaver’s husband Christoph Waltz, and.. oh it just goes on in that vein. If you’ve been down, depressed, feeling blue I recommend following this story and the links. It will really cheer you up. as my son says, we’re in the midst of a Dunning-Kruger Putsch. There are many hilarious tweets, but this one has lots of information and links to more.

  32. 32.

    Raoul

    @trollhattan: Sounds like they might be trying WOW air. I’d be genuinely curious what they think after the trip, if so. Icelandair has become as expensive (or sometimes more than) the US majors that fly to Reykjavik.

  33. 33.

    Raoul

    @Kay (not the front-pager): Yeah the thread with the slightly doctored headshots and the readily available original images is damn funny. Wohl is so stupid he seemingly had no idea that reverse image search was a thing anyone with an internet browser could do. And the though this would fool … who, exactly??

  34. 34.

    Roger Moore

    @trollhattan:
    It’s better than Mueller keeping a calendar. There was a brief, gossip column-type news report on him showing up for jury duty that day. That said, I’m sure that as an important government employee, he had an official calendar that was kept as an official record and would still be available from the FBI.

  35. 35.

    ruemara

    @Kay (not the front-pager): It’s hilarious & schadenfreudealicious.

    Repeating myself from the downstairs thread, but I’ll be in Seattle for PodCon, so would Seattle Juicers like to meet up for food, fun and saying fuck?

  38. 38.

    Kay (not the front-pager)

    @Kay (not the front-pager): OK never mind, I see this was addressed earlier this afternoon while I was grocery shopping and arguing with the post office over misplaced packages (5 in the last 3 days). It’s just so hilarious though!

  42. 42.

    Roger Moore

    @Raoul:

    Wohl is so stupid he seemingly had no idea that reverse image search was a thing anyone with an internet browser could do.

    Apparently he had enough of a clue to run the images through filters that prevented them from being found using Google image search. More advanced software designed specifically to find faces still worked, though.

    The thing that got me was how little effort was put into the LinkedIn profiles. All but one of them had no jobs between college and working for the company, even though the gaps were decades long for several of the employees. Literally nobody I know on LinkedIn does that. People will put in volunteer positions, internships, or whatever in a desperate attempt to avoid gaps in their work history.

  43. 43.

    Schlemazel

    @Cheryl from Maryland:
    you luckey . . . what a great job that must have been. Thank you for the work

    Wish the dang thing were coming here. I worked at Kennedy for 5 years and think our manned space program was the pinnacle of American greatness. it has been all downhill since. It is important that we document that greatness

  44. 44.

    mozzerb

    I am in favour of hanging for this crime.

    So Beloguzov is lucky he got away with a mere stabbing.

  47. 47.

    dm

    When I was in college, I was watching Citizen Kane for the first time with a friend who also hadn’t seen it. I got to thinking about how miserable Kane’s life was, and then thought about the only time he had ever seemed to be happy. I leaned over to my friend and said, “I think Rosebud was that sled he had as a kid.”

  48. 48.

    Schlemazel

    somebody help me out. I am unfamiliar with the Wolds, David & Jacob. WTF are they?
    So many wingnuts, so little time

  51. 51.

    Raoul

    @Roger Moore: Ah, ok I didn’t realize he was slightly more clever. But if he thought the ruse would work once the story went side, well, he’s still a massive fool.
    Like, register your domain with an email in your name fool.
    And have the phone number forward to your mom’s voicemail fool.

    It’s some manic comic relief in these bizarro days.

  53. 53.

    Gin & Tonic

    @NotMax: I particularly love, for the people who say “oh, yeah, streets go E-W and avenues go N-S,” how West 4th St. intersects W 10th, W 11th and W 12th at a 90-degree angle. I also love how Little W 12th St. is roughly four blocks away from W 12th St. Or how West Broadway runs parallel to Broadway, but two blocks away. Some funny stuff down there. But the best is the story of the Hess Triangle.

  55. 55.

    O. Felix Culpa

    @Origuy:

    Kudos to the American personnel for not insisting on Bud Light. (Or worse, Bud Light Lime, a la General McChrystal.)

    I like beer. And that swill ain’t beer.

  58. 58.

    O. Felix Culpa

    @The Midnight Lurker: Ok, that made me laugh!

    Why are we here, that is the question? And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. …We are not saints, but we have kept our appointment.

  59. 59.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @Schlemazel: Where are you? The Smithsonian is also traveling the Apollo 11 capsule. It will be in St. Louis and Pittsburgh. Google Destination Moon. Even if that doesn’t work, if I know where you are, I can figure out if there is a potential venue near you and call my colleagues still ther to try and make it happen. Also, thanks for the compliment.

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:
    Yeah, we snotty Seattle people had GOBS of Tacoma jokes back in the day. The Smelter smokestack was the place’s most prominent feature, plus pulp mills!

    Having driven through on I-5 last summer I can report the Tacoma Smelter is long gone and the main city feature seems to be road construction. Guessing lots of folks commute to their Amazon jerbs from there.

  67. 67.

    NotMax

    @Pogonip

    You’re not alone. Telegraphed? More like one needed a goalie mask to avoid injury from foreclubbing. Same with The Usual Suspects. 20 minutes in and it was starkly evident where it was going to end up.

  68. 68.

    Raoul

    Aha, new insight in Ye’s reversal.

    They put his name on some ill-designed sweaters and he disavowed within days.
    Astead Herndon, NYT

  70. 70.

    Dan B

    @NotMax: Good to know if we ever get to NYC.
    My great uncle stayed with his son’s family in D.C. My G Uncle peed in the backyard much to their, and the neighhbors’ horror. He’d become accustomed to Alaska customs. I don’t know how that worked in Nome in mid winter… icicles?

  72. 72.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @Schlemazel: know two potential museums – Minnesota Historical Society in St Paul and the Minnesota Science Center (although they are very picky).

  73. 73.

    Dan B

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I was in Tacoma, the WA version, in the early 70s counseling GIs at Fort Lewis. It was pretty funky. The little church next door fell on our house so we moved. That house was huge. Acriss the street was a dentist. “He” – two of them, arrived every day at 8 AM and were replaced at 5 PM by two more “dentists”. They had listening devices aimed at our house.
    Tacoma’s gotten much better and is sorta a rising star due to spillover from mega inequal Seattle. (Mega millionaire tech zombies.)

  74. 74.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    @Gin & Tonic: Love the Boston Science Museum, but the museum prefers exhibitions which they create. The National Heritage Museum in Lexington is a more likely venue. Will ask. Thanks for the feedback.

  78. 78.

    seaboogie

    Recently I turned a friend on to “Call the Midwife” as a heartfelt, very feminine series to watch on Netflix when her husband is traveling. Was very mindful to frame the scope of the series and NOT give away any spoilers, so that she could have the full, emotional experience.

    So yeah – I kind of get why spoiler douchey dude got stabbed.

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