Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They want us to be overwhelmed and exhausted. Focus. Resist. Oppose.

Giving up is unforgivable.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Sometimes the world just tells you your cat is here.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

Trump should be leading, not lying.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

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You are here: Home / Politics / America / Floriduh Man! and Floriduh! Woman: Been a Busy Few Days in Pinellas County…

Floriduh Man! and Floriduh! Woman: Been a Busy Few Days in Pinellas County…

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It’s been a while since we checked in with Floriduh! Man, or at least Floriduh! Man not trying to blow up a couple of dozen people, so let’s see what we’ve got cooking. Er, um…

Take it away Tampa Bay Times!

ST. PETERSBURG — It started with chicken wings, a beer and a burglar.

It went downhill from there.

A St. Petersburg police officer was investigating a Nov. 6 break-in at The Chattaway restaurant, reviewing surveillance video that shows the burglar devouring a plate of chicken wings and enjoying a beer inside the kitchen. But then the officer stumbled across another incident from the night before.

The video shows a man riding his bike up to the restaurant at 358 22nd Ave S, pedaling around the parking lot for 10 minutes, then slipping in through the back gate. After wandering around for a bit, he opens the door to a shed for storing odds and ends, and removes them one by one.

Then the man gains access to a restaurant bathroom. And exits without his clothes.

He proceeds to sit naked at one of the restaurant’s picnic tables and digs into a meal he brought with him — Maruchan Instant Lunch ramen. The video also shows him playing the bongos, also naked.

“He came in with pants on but he rode off on the bike without pants,” Chattaway server Chad Pearson said. “I’m not sure if he took his pants with him but we didn’t find them. We still don’t know where his pants are.”

He spray-painted a few chairs, the bongos and a pickle jar, but his handiwork was barely noticeable, manager Amanda Kitto said. Everything was put back so neatly, in fact, it was four hours before anyone noticed he had been there.

“We would not have known about the naked guy without the cop finding that video,” Kitto said.

Police identified the man, who is homeless, but did not release his name publicly. Kitto declined to give his name and said the restaurant will not press charges because he caused no harm.

“His goal was to not break in, his goal was to just hang out at The Chattaway.”

What about the first guy?

Police still are trying to catch him.

He enjoyed the plate of chicken wings and some beer, and stole an estimated $500 worth of stuff, including cash tips, a laptop, a tablet, and a grocery bag he filled with beer.

“He made himself at home,” Kitto said. “He spent over an hour just milling around going room to room and eating and drinking while he did it.”

The man also tried unsuccessfully to access the safe using his hands, a pot handle and tongs.

Kitto is confident that even though the two incidents happened back-to-back, they are not connected.

“I used to always joke and say that if you were going to break into The Chattaway to make sure to grab a beer. And it finally happened.”

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/2cba7a9f-3ccb-4279-a0d9-6808522ea0c4

Also, given the Real Genius reference, this cannot be unseen!

Floriduh! Woman, however, also put in a strong showing.

Once again The Tampa Bay Times has got this story well in hand…

The lobster never saw it coming.

One second it was floating listlessly in a glass tank, vying against endless shrimp, the smell of Cheddar Bay Biscuits hanging hauntingly in the air. Then, the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said, an apparently intoxicated St. Petersburg woman snatched the lobster from its crustaceous purgatory and ran.

The lobster was never seen again.

Kimberly Gabel was arrested Saturday on charges of disorderly intoxication and petit theft for causing a disturbance in the Red Lobster at 6151 34th St N . The restaurant had barely been open two hours.

It was just after 1:15 p.m., deputies said, when a manager at the restaurant asked Gabel to leave. The manager said she was disturbing customers and shouted obscenities as she made her way to the door. Before she could leave, though, the 42-year-old woman reached into the oft-familiar entryway lobster tank, grabbed a live lobster and bolted.

Deputies said they caught up with Gabel a “short distance later.” They said she smelled of alcohol and slurred her words as she continued cursing, telling deputies she didn’t know what she did with the lobster because she was “blacked out drunk” and that she “did not care because she did not do anything wrong.”

Deputies described Gabel as a homeless woman. According to Pinellas County Jail records, she has been arrested numerous times for charges ranging from public intoxication to multiple counts of burglary and theft. She is currently awaiting trial in Pinellas County Jail.

Stay hungry!

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

113Comments

  1. 1.

    A Ghost To Most

    All this wierdity, plus heat, humidity, bigots, and bugs, all played out on a pool table with swamps for pockets.

    What’s not to like?

  3. 3.

    p.a.

    After eating, he mopped naked, was hear to mutter “where’s the goddamned mustard”, then decided to give up drinking.

  6. 6.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Along similar amusing lines, in Elizabethtown, KY (about 45 min south of Louisville), proprietors of a car dealer took umbrage at being the recipients of Bags of Dicks, dick cards, jizz confetti, etc.

    They were so upset, they filed a lawsuit this week.

    spectacular pleading referencing dick-modeled confections, dick confetti, spring loaded bags of jizz, etc.

    The courtroom giggles are going to be spectacular as the plaintiff utters their butthurt.

    8. Three of the products offered on the Ruin Days Site are spring-loaded mailing tubes filled with glitter or confetti shaped like penises or sperm. These products are called “SPRING LOADED GLITTER BOMB,” “SPRING LOADED DICK BOMB,” and “SPRING LOADED JIZZ BOMB”…

  10. 10.

    lamh36

    Ya’ll…I’ve been sitting here watching the old BBC Documentary about the band Queen on YouTube for the past 30 minutes, and I’m gonna continue watching the remaining 90minutes of it…LOL.

    At the very least, I’m sitting here and realizing just how well Remi Malek did with his stage movements as Freddie Mercury. If there was limits to the physicality (seeing old footage, Mercury’s teeth were pretty big, but not as perectly formed as the ones Malek wore), the stage performance, presence and movement, Malek did pretty darn good.

    Queen BBc documentary https://youtu.be/CoM0vd4cWiY via @YouTube

  11. 11.

    A Ghost To Most

    Fox and Friends” promoted a supposedly conservative toy company named Keep and Bear multiple times during today’s broadcast with Trump propaganda MAGA building blocks in an effort to turn children into xenophobes.

    When I went to Keep and Bear’s website I received a phishing warning so I will not link to it but they advertise this way:

    BUILD THE WALL (MAGA BUILDING BLOCKS TOY) Keep & Bear

    We are pleased to announce the launch of a brand new line of toys: MAGA building blocks! This set comes with more than 100 pieces including President Trump in a MAGA hard hat!

    We are pleased to announce the launch of a brand new line of toys: MAGA building blocks! This toy makes a great Christmas gift for your kids and grandkids!

    crooks&liars

  14. 14.

    Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.

    “…arrested Saturday on charges of disorderly intoxication and petit theft”

    … Sacre Bleu!

  16. 16.

    guachi

    Cisneros is now only 122 votes behind Kim in CA-39. Gained 344 votes today. I thought he’d pass him today. Maybe tomorrow.

    On the other hand, the Utah seat is moving in the opposite direction.

  17. 17.

    The Dangerman

    It started with chicken wings…

    And i just made separate orders from Amazon for a chicken and an egg,

    I’ll let you know.

  18. 18.

    Le Comte de Monte Cristo, fka Edmund Dantes

    Along similar amusing lines, in Elizabethtown, KY (about 45 min south of Louisville), proprietors of a car dealer took umbrage at being the recipients of Bags of D!cks, d!ck cards, j!zz confetti, etc.

    They were so upset, they filed a lawsuit this week.

    The most spectacular pleading ever written

    8. Three of the products offered on the Ruin Days Site are spring-loaded mailing tubes filled with glitter or confetti shaped like pen!ses or sperm. These products are called “SPRING LOADED GLITTER BOMB,” “SPRING LOADED DlCK BOMB,” and “SPRING LOADED JlZZ BOMB”…

  22. 22.

    Adam L Silverman

    @lamh36:

    Mercury’s teeth were pretty big, but not as perectly formed as the ones Malek wore

    As someone who lived in Scotland for 3 years, I can attest that British dentistry leaves much to be desired.

  25. 25.

    imonlylurking

    I just did 25 postcards for Mike Espy. I hadn’t signed up for Postcard Patriots because I didn’t know what to write, but they will give you suggestions. I’ve got a nice spiel if anybody wants to use it. It’s really easy!

  27. 27.

    Adam L Silverman

    @A Ghost To Most: I was willing to go back to SOCOM over the summer, despite that not being my favorite place to work (that is one ate up headquarters!). And Florida is not my favorite place to live. Both of those contracts went poof. The company that recruited me still wants me, and we’re in touch, but until they have a funded line to plug me into…

  28. 28.

    cthulhu

    @rikyrah:

    These? Are?Beto’s?Coattails?

    If every statewide losing Dem can manage gains like this, we won’t keep losing statewide for long…

  31. 31.

    A Ghost To Most

    @Adam L Silverman: I guess your specialties limit your options. Working in IT afforded me choices. Still, it really screwed with my brain in ways I’m still recovering from. Your job must be stressful in a completely different way. I envy your people skills.

  33. 33.

    Adam L Silverman

    @A Ghost To Most: What limits my options is I’ve either been a GS15 or a contractor, with supervisory, pay graded equivalent to a GS15. That makes it very hard to get a civil service position, even if there wasn’t a sequester, as no one brings in a GS15 that they don’t know and it makes it very hard to get a contractor position because of what the sequester has done to the contracts.

  37. 37.

    A Ghost To Most

    @Adam L Silverman: GS-15, no wonder. Sorry everything is fucked up. I will hate the motherfucking GOP until I die. I left working for DOD in 2009 (Joint Medical Asset Repository at Detrick) when we moved out here. Do not miss working down the street from USAMRIID (sp?).

  38. 38.

    Adam L Silverman

    @NotMax: It worked out well for Anderson and, perhaps, ABL. Of course they also have solid twitter/social media presences and I don’t. That said, it hasn’t done anything for me.

  39. 39.

    different-church-lady

    Seen at Lawyers, Guns and Money:

    Portlander CP • 4 hours ago
    Facebook is a good way to see just how racist people you went to high school with are

  40. 40.

    Mike in NC

    @A Ghost To Most: Jimmy Kimmel recently spoofed those horrible “Trumpy Bear” toy ads (made in China, of course). He shows the hidden compartment has more than the flag blanket, but also a photo of Putin, half a cheeseburger, a bucket of KFC, and a fully loaded assault rifle.

  44. 44.

    Baud

    @different-church-lady:

    From Reddit

    McConnell: “I’m gonna write an op-Ed about how bi partisanship is so important and dems and republicans need to work together.”

    Dems and republicans: works together to push for a meuller protection bill

    McConnell: No, not that way!

  46. 46.

    psycholinguist

    Two things I haven’t seen discussed this evening.

    1 – Flake apparently grew a pair on his way out the door. He went on the senate floor and said no more judges until legislation to protect Muller. He should get rewarded for good behavior.

    2 – what the hell happened to Giuliani? Trump have him chained in the basement or something?

  47. 47.

    NotMax

    FYI.

    One person is dead and at least 164 people have fallen ill in the US in connection with a salmonella outbreak in turkey products spanning 35 states.
    [snip]
    Federal investigators with the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) have not yet named any sources of the contamination, sparking criticism from some public health groups. No recalls have yet been requested in relation to the outbreak, and the USDA is deferring updates to the CDC.
    [snip]
    In a statement yesterday (Nov. 13), the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a public health advocacy group, criticized the USDA for not being more forthcoming about which products had been implicated in this most-recent outbreak. ”The agency has detected the outbreak strain in samples from raw turkey products from 22 slaughter and seven processing establishments but has not published their names,” the Center wrote. Source

  48. 48.

    Litlebritdifrnt

    @Adam L Silverman: @?BillinGlendaleCA: @?BillinGlendaleCA: Anyone born in England after the 1960s has pretty good teeth. The Scots however are a breed unto their own. I have to say though having spent 26 years in NC, USA I have never seen so many toothless or nearly toothless individuals in my life as I did there. There is a huge difference between not going to the dentist cause you don’t want to to not going because you can’t afford to.

  65. 65.

    opiejeanne

    @NotMax: Well, that’s not very helpful. I have two turkeys in my freezer right now, one for Thanksgiving and one for a dinner later, probably January. I’d like to know if one of them is going to kill us.

    I know how to handle foods safely and know how to cook it properly.

  66. 66.

    Mary G

    Good news about some of the mountain lions in the Woolsey fire, but four bobcats whose entire habitat burned are MIA.

    Of the 13 mountain lions with working radio collars in & around the Santa Monica Mountains, we can confirm with GPS locations & movement data that 8 of those appear to be alive and moving. There are 5 other lions (P-22, P-42, P-47, P-54, P-74) that we're unsure about.. ?: P-42 pic.twitter.com/nZgAefdcqB— Santa Monica Mtns (@SantaMonicaMtns) November 12, 2018

  67. 67.

    jl

    Saw a tweet someplace, maybe in a comment on this here blog, that says there is evidence that Wohl framed Avenatti on the domestic abuse charge?
    That true?

    The Avenatti story deserves a front post explainer, regardless of what happened. And if Wohl framed him, that seems a none too bright thing to do, whether the law charges him or not.

    Edit: I did hear a news report that the charge was not about his extranged wife, but some supposed girlfriend. That made me wonder, then saw a tweet someplace,

  71. 71.

    Yarrow

    @Adam L Silverman: I don’t understand this. Did Wohl pay someone to accuse him of abusing them or something? Didn’t the LAPD say they booked him? Seems like if they showed up and there was nothing happening they wouldn’t have done that.

  74. 74.

    Platonailedit

    Projection: Katie Porter (D) has defeated Rep. Mimi Walters (R) in #CA45.

    — Dave Wasserman (@Redistrict) November 15, 2018

    That’ll be fifth flip?

    Still too many rethugs for a deep blue state. Traitors nunes, mccarthy and mcclintock seem well entrenched.

  76. 76.

    MisterForkbeard

    @Adam L Silverman: I think the current situation for Avenatti is:

    * He WAS arrested and held at $50k bail for felony domestic violence.
    * The initial reports of it being his ex-wife are completely unfounded. His ex says no, and that he never displayed anything like that while they were married.
    * There’s no indication of whether this was a complete set up or he was accused of hitting his girlfriend or something.

    That’s all I’ve got.

  77. 77.

    lamh36

    @opiejeanne: Right…the documentary I was watching, touched on the fact that the video had an “English” sensibility and humour that TPTB at MTV and middle America coudn’t quite get. And I know bout Monty Python, but I think folks over-estimate how significant of an impact things they may love and find iconic have on the mainstream pop culture zeitgeist.

    Someone I saw somewhere made the point that Freddie Mercury is not as well known as say his contemporaries, like Elton John, Bowie, I guess even MJ…are today. And folks jumped down her throat, but I actually understood what she was saying. Sure you have hardcore classic rock fans, who knew Queen even before Wayne’s World, but you also have a generation of folks who only know of Bohemian Rhapsody BECAUSE of Wayne’s World.

    Course so much of Queen’s music has been used in film, tv and commercials and such, that of course they know more of Queen’s music than they realize, but that doesn’t mean they KNOW they be able to tell you who Freddie Mercury was, let alone the name of band.

    All that to say, I can certainly see the TPTB from the 80s being prudish enough to ban the video (I mean let’s be frank, MTV didn’t even play any video from musicians of color, until MJ revolutionized the music video genre w/Thriller)

  79. 79.

    opiejeanne

    @lamh36: Oh, Duh! I was thinking British tv aven though I knew it was MTV. Total brain fart.

    I didn’t realize that MTV never played videos by PoC before Thriller. I thought MC Hammer and a group with an Asian member came before then but I’ll take your word for it. .

  84. 84.

    Mnemosyne

    @lamh36:

    Someone I saw somewhere made the point that Freddie Mercury is not as well known as say his contemporaries, like Elton John, Bowie, I guess even MJ …. are today.

    Sadly, IMO it’s because Mercury died young of AIDS when it was still pretty stigmatized. People didn’t want to talk about him because he died of “that” disease.

  85. 85.

    Yarrow

    She’s awful:

    Sheryl Sandberg was angry at employees for… trying to find out if Russia had used its platform for propaganda.

    Unbelievable.
    https://t.co/Vwr3dC8v1c pic.twitter.com/YuVep4pWow— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) November 14, 2018

    I’ve never trusted her. That whole “Lean In” crap just seemed so oblivious and entitled to me. And she lies like she breathes. Her whole job seems to be to put a nicer face on the crap Facebook does because Zuck is so bad at it. Traitors.

  88. 88.

    Viva BrisVegas

    @lamh36:

    Someone I saw somewhere made the point that Freddie Mercury is not as well known as say his contemporaries, like Elton John, Bowie

    “not as well known in the US”, should be inserted in there somewhere.

    In the English speaking world outside of the US, Queen loomed just as large as their contemporaries.

  90. 90.

    TS (the original)

    @joel hanes:

    Let’s see how he acts when Mitch wants more judges confirmed.
    I expect Flake to fold.

    They don’t need his vote to get through – and come January his vote is irrelevant

  97. 97.

    Amir Khalid

    @Mnemosyne:
    Queen first made their mark with their 1974 album Sheer Heart Attack, but they got big all over the world with the next one, A Night At The Opera — the album with Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s hard to imagine them, or Freddie, being unknown to anyone who followed the pop culture of the 1970s.

  99. 99.

    Martin

    @Platonailedit: Yeah, CA-45 is the 5th. Katie went up by 4,000 votes tonight and that’s almost certain to climb. I expect she’ll finish 2-3% ahead.

    I’m still expecting CA-39 to come in for Dems. There’s still a lot of ballots to count and they’re steadily coming in for Dems. Not only will we have picked up 4 House seats in OC, all 7 seats that touch Orange County will be blue. We’ve also flipped another state assembly seat – my district 74. This district has never been represented by a Democrat at the federal or state level, and now we have both.

    I have to also say that Dems turned out like a fucking army here. I never had a Dem canvasser before, and we had canvassers for both the House and Assembly races. I canvassed as well. Dems put money in Orange County races they’ve never touched before and I’m really proud we’ve come through.

  100. 100.

    MomSense

    We’ve got a bit of the Florida vote madness up here in Maine. Poliquin is suing to try and block Maine’s ranked choice voting law. The margin between Poliquin and Golden was so small that it triggered going to the ranked choice votes. Even though Golden is too conservative and gun happy for me, I am really hoping he gets the win.

  101. 101.

    Martin

    @MomSense: Poliquin is going to lose that suit quite badly. You can’t claim that the rules that were clearly pointed out long before the election started are somehow unfair now that the election has ended. Any rational judge is going to look at that suit as bullshit.

    The time to litigate the rules of the election is prior to the election, not once you find yourself at a disadvantage of the rules.

    But this is more or less par for the course for Republicans.

  102. 102.

    Fair Economist

    @lamh36:

    Someone I saw somewhere made the point that Freddie Mercury is not as well known as say his contemporaries, like Elton John, Bowie, I guess even MJ…are today.

    Of course he isn’t as well known. Mercury has been dead over 30 years so he hasn’t been in the news. Bowie was active to the mid-aughts, MJ to 2009, and Elton John is still active. Pop culture, with rare exceptions, is very ephemeral, and even the most famous stuff goes poof pretty fast. Queen’s music is still pretty well known to those that listen to 70’s music, but that’s on oldies stations now.

  103. 103.

    Doug R

    Humble brag-the actress who played Jordan in Real Genius Michele Meyrink was in the same graduating class as me. We were both in our high school play Music Man. She played Zaneta Shin, I had a few bit townsfolk parts.

  105. 105.

    Mandalay

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    Anyone born in England after the 1960s has pretty good teeth. The Scots however are a breed unto their own.

    I find this pretty amazing, and may help explain their teeth issues:

    Around 10% of the population of the United Kingdom receives fluoridated water….

    The water supply in Northern Ireland has never been artificially fluoridated except in two small localities where fluoride was added to the water for about 30 years. By 1999, fluoridation ceased in those two areas, as well.

    In 2004, following a public consultation, Scotland’s parliament rejected proposals to fluoridate public drinking water.

    Those in the media in Britain seem to have the same dazzling white perfect teeth as their counterparts here, but many British politicians still don’t seem to give a shit. Now be honest: would you want to put your tongue in Theresa May’s mouth? It looks like she sets aside three minutes every month to brush her teeth whether they need it or not.

  106. 106.

    Atticus Dogsbody

    oft-familiar? Was it sometimes not familiar?

    Also, SPRING LOADED JIZZ BOMB was my nickname in high school.

  108. 108.

    Sloane Ranger

    Brexit – apparently Dominick Raab has just resigned as Brexit Secretary. I am sick to death of these gutless wonders. They did this after Chequers as well.They let the PM go out and say there is Cabinet agreement and then resign in high dudgeon the next day.

    If you don’t like the deal you should resign on the spot. Actually as Brexit Secretary, he was responsible for negotiating the deal so he should have resigned before.

  109. 109.

    Amir Khalid

    @Sloane Ranger:
    Theresa May has struck me as a shockingly inept PM and party leader on Brexit. She seems oblivious to the damage it is already doing to Britain. Her Cabinet doesn’t seem any more unified on this issue than the general public.

  110. 110.

    Platonailedit

    May’s end may be near. As usual, the men left the woman holding the baby in the end. Fucking cowards.

  113. 113.

    danielx

    Ordinarily I wouldn’t consider Florida as an abode, but what with having to take my daughter work this am during an ice storm in goddamned November….I could be persuaded.

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