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You are here: Home / Music / Open Thread: Polar Opposites

Open Thread: Polar Opposites

by Anne Laurie|  December 24, 20187:19 pm| 72 Comments

This post is in: Music, Open Threads, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome, Clown Shoes

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Monday 17th December, they still haven't noticed. pic.twitter.com/z1hfXmfK5a

— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) December 17, 2018

I’ll believe that Trump is growing into the presidency when his staff stops talking about him like a toddler. https://t.co/I4zuJyecOx pic.twitter.com/KEDwHHwcvw

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) December 18, 2018

T'was the night before Christmas, when in the White House.
A creature was tweeting, with keyboard and mouse.
The shutdown continued, but he felt no one cared.
As he hoped that the Wall Money, soon would be there.

— Alex Seitz-Wald (@aseitzwald) December 24, 2018

The blood trees were lonely, nobody is there,
Not even his children, they're fleeing by air.

— David Henry (@WorstThtCldHppn) December 24, 2018

The Senators were all home, taking a break
Each asking themselves how much more to take
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
He tweeted not to panic, the market now in tatters
Away to the window we all flew like a flash
Wondering how this guy could turn this to ash

— Jason Zimmerman (@zimmy1998) December 24, 2018

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
he bailed out the back cause he knew what's the matter,
More rapid than Eagles the prosecutors they came,
Trump shouted and screamed and called them foul names.

— Richard Kapuaala (@rkapuaala) December 24, 2018

Twas the night before Christmas, when through the White House
Not a Kushner was resting, not even his spouse;
The documents were hung by the shredder with care,
In fears that Bob Mueller soon would be there#TrumpChristmasShutdown #TrumpShutdown #TrumpResign

— Orca (@Orcalover25) December 24, 2018

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Previous Post: « Imitatio Christi vs. Trump’s Example
Next Post: A Nativity for Our Times »

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    Raoul

    December 24, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    All I have is: “Rosebud.”

  2. 2.

    Patricia Kayden

    December 24, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    It’s strange that Trump tweeted that he was all alone when his wife flew back from Florida to be with him.

    Anyhoo, hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas Eve except for Trump and his supporters, of course.

  3. 3.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    I thought Paul Bronks was suspended. I can’t see his tweets any more.

  4. 4.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Okay, this cartoon made me smile.

    Bells, you say?

  5. 5.

    debbie

    December 24, 2018 at 7:35 pm

    @zhena gogolia:

    That’s a tweet from before the suspension. :(

  6. 6.

    frosty

    December 24, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Paging Siuban Duinne… cleanup in the poetry aisle! Can’t anyone write a parody that scans correctly. Every one of the Night Before Xmas ones I’ve read has too many syllables. Good rhymes though.

  7. 7.

    kdbart

    December 24, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    This is all ends like it ended for Cody Jarrett, right?

  8. 8.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    @kdbart:

    Just stick close to Edmond O’Brien and you’ll be okay.

  9. 9.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    December 24, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: And he has a school aged child!

  10. 10.

    Mnemosyne

    December 24, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    @zhena gogolia:
    @debbie:

    He’s now tweeting from @slendersherbet rather than @boringenormous. He has a full explanation, but basically he got targeted by video squatters who tried to extort him for using “their” videos. He refused, so they got Twitter to shut him down. ?

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    @frosty

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Most of these scan
    But this one fails to do so

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    December 24, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: Of course, she left him behind to go to Florida before someone talked her into coming back.

  13. 13.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 7:51 pm

    @Patricia Kayden: @Dorothy A. Winsor: I’m sure the First Lady took her son to her parents. Her parents have a house about 4 or 5 miles from the White House.

  14. 14.

    debbie

    December 24, 2018 at 7:52 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Thanks. I know he’s made more than a few animal lovers apoplectic.

  15. 15.

    JR

    December 24, 2018 at 7:58 pm

    I’m trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away…

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    December 24, 2018 at 7:58 pm

    It’s wicked of me, I know, but this is the kind of Christmas I want Trump to have.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    @Adam l. Silverman

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that dinner.

    Does Hertz rent vans with directional pickup antennae?

    ;)

  18. 18.

    A Ghost To Most

    December 24, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    The jackass is probably sitting under some mistletoe with a mirror, kissing himself.

  19. 19.

    Barbara

    December 24, 2018 at 8:09 pm

    @NotMax: You’ll need a Slovenian translator. Apparently she and Barron speak to each other, and of course to her parents, in Slovenian.

  20. 20.

    dmsilev

    December 24, 2018 at 8:10 pm

    No link, but apparently the stock market gyrations have done what two years of steadily mounting scandals and crimes were unable to accomplish: convince the Mustache Of Understanding (aka Tom Friedman) that Trump should be removed from office ASAP. Of course he wants to start by having two unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster, and three Yetis, sorry I mean a bunch of responsible and patriotic Republican leaders stage an intervention and once that fails to call for his ouster. But that’s still progress, and it only took four Friedman Units for him to get this far.

  21. 21.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 8:11 pm

    @NotMax: It’s a Hertz Club Gold membership upgrade. If you have the points, you’re good.

  22. 22.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 8:15 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    Thank you! I was in withdrawal.

  23. 23.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    A corresponding chart with number of dentists per capita would be nice.

    Most Popular Christmas Candy by State

  24. 24.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 8:22 pm

    @dmsilev:

    three Yetis

    Leave my cousins out of this.

  25. 25.

    Mary G

    December 24, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    WTF?

    Donald Trump, answering phone call from 7-year-old on Christmas Eve: "Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?" pic.twitter.com/VHexvFSbQ1— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) December 25, 2018

  26. 26.

    scav

    December 24, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    @Mary G: That is about the age where most individuals stop believing our current president is normal, let alone able.

    (some close their eyes furiously and continue to pretend, hoping to get more gifts.)

  27. 27.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 8:41 pm

    @Mary G

    Followed by “Would you like to be Secretary of Defense?”

    :)

    Can’t help but wonder how come that’s dated tomorrow?

  28. 28.

    Baud

    December 24, 2018 at 8:41 pm

    @scav:

    (some close their eyes furiously and continue to pretend, hoping to get more gifts.)

    But enough about Trump’s cabinet

  29. 29.

    Schlemazel

    December 24, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    Kids Getting A Little Old To Still Believe In Innate Charitable Goodness Of Humans

    It is as if they can read my mind

  30. 30.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    I just had the thought, “John Cole is probably having a sweet Christmas Eve in the bosom of his family,” then I peeked at his Twitter feed and saw that he’s live-tweeting a Christmas concert featuring bad local high-school bands. That made me feel better somehow. Our Christmas Eve consisted of watching Christmas in Connecticut from 4 to 6, then having hot dogs for dinner. Tomorrow should be a little better.

  31. 31.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    @zhena gogolia:

    I should have said that the concert he’s live-tweeting is on TV.

  32. 32.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 24, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    @frosty:

    Ha! I’m working on it! The scansion (or lack thereof) is making me crazy!

  33. 33.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    @zhena gogolia

    then having hot dogs for dinner.

    Can almost see Uncle Felix slapping his cheeks in horror.

    ;)

    “Paprika. That will fix it.”

  34. 34.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    @scav: Leave Seb Gorka out of this!//

  35. 35.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 8:50 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne

    First stanza, no charge.

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas
    And at the White House
    Just one creature was stirring
    And he was a louse

    :)

  36. 36.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 8:59 pm

    @NotMax:

    First stanza, no charge.

    This doesn’t rhyme, nor is the meter right.//

  37. 37.

    SiubhanDuinne

    December 24, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    @NotMax:

    On children who love me
    (Assuming there if any!)
    On Eric! On Junior!
    On Barron and Tiffany!

    (ETA: It makes no grammatical sense, but I like the rhyme. Especially considering I am in a NyQuil haze.)

  38. 38.

    plato

    December 24, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    No matter what you think of Trump, I think we can all agree he's a cancer on the earth.

    — God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 24, 2018

  39. 39.

    plato

    December 24, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    I do not love you. I hate you, Sarah Sanders. I can't stress this enough. https://t.co/N73aEnanuN

    — God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 24, 2018

  40. 40.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    @Adam L. Silverman

    “You want gems, go to Africa.”
      – Groucho

    ;)

  41. 41.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    @NotMax:

    We had paprika on the cauliflower in honor of Uncle Felix.

    I actually said, “I’m glad we’re not having one of those roast duck dinners.”

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 9:09 pm

    @zhena gogolia: You do know there’s now a cauliflower recall because it’s coming from the same farms as the contaminated romaine lettuce?

    I realize that the USDA, FDA, and CDC figured that since no one actually likes cauliflower, that the recall didn’t need as much publicity as romaine lettuce did.

  43. 43.

    realbtl

    December 24, 2018 at 9:12 pm

    @NotMax:
    When outside the White House
    Bob Mueller did sing
    A load of subpoenas
    To you I do bring.

  44. 44.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 9:14 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Wow, I thought you were joking, but it’s real. We love cauliflower. But we had it last night too and no ill effects, so I assume it’s okay.

  45. 45.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    @zhena gogolia

    White food? Could have been worse.

    ;)

  46. 46.

    Suzanne

    December 24, 2018 at 9:18 pm

    @plato: The God Twitter account is one of my favorite things on the internet.

    What a dickhole. You’re alone on Christmas Eve because no one loves you and you don’t love anyone! Your wife flew back to save you from everyone knowing how fucking alone and gross you are.

    Other than the presidential situation, however, I’m enjoying Christmas thus far. Grammy made Luna-Lu a new sweater.

  47. 47.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 9:19 pm

    @zhena gogolia: I was not joking.

  48. 48.

    joel hanes

    December 24, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    The Merriest of Christmases to all those jackals who keep it.

    And a joyous and peaceful solstice to those who do not.

    May 2019 be a better year.
    Much, much, much better

  49. 49.

    frosty

    December 24, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Pizza Hut for our dinner tonight. Waited until 6 to go find something. Oops.

  50. 50.

    tobie

    December 24, 2018 at 9:25 pm

    @zhena gogolia: I think if you cook the cauliflower, it’s fine. I just had cauliflower tonight and, knock on wood, am not suffering ill effects.

  51. 51.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 9:27 pm

    @NotMax:

    Gross!

  52. 52.

    frosty

    December 24, 2018 at 9:28 pm

    Rats. Moderated because of a typo in the email. Sticky nyms plz?

  53. 53.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    @frosty: I’ve freed it.

  54. 54.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    December 24, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: I was watching some Gordon Ramsey cooking show and he made pureed cauliflower as if that were a good thing.

  55. 55.

    Baud

    December 24, 2018 at 9:37 pm

    @joel hanes:

    May 2019 be a better year.

    May is a month, silly.

  56. 56.

    Chetan Murthy

    December 24, 2018 at 9:37 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: Pav Bhaji is lovely. Just lovely.

  57. 57.

    Chetan Murthy

    December 24, 2018 at 9:40 pm

    @Chetan Murthy:

    Pav Bhaji is lovely.

    Sorry, maybe a little less cryptic: it’s an Indian dish containing (amongst other veggies) mashed cauliflower. Yum! And I typically don’t cook Indian food.

  58. 58.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    @frosty: Though given that you admitted to going to Pizza Hut for dinner, makes me thing I should have moved it to Spam.//

  59. 59.

    Adam L Silverman

    December 24, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: You couldn’t pay me to either watch him or eat his food.

  60. 60.

    Plato

    December 24, 2018 at 9:47 pm

    There's no 5 second rule at my house.
    The dog is much quicker than that.

    — Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 15, 2015

    Guessing in cole’s household the cat is the dog.

  61. 61.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 9:49 pm

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.

    (Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)

  62. 62.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 9:51 pm

    Linky fix.

    @Adam L. Silverman

    Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.

    (Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)

  63. 63.

    NotMax

    December 24, 2018 at 9:57 pm

    Running The Third Man in the background on Netflix. There are an awful lot of fuzzy prints out there. This one is pretty clear but still inconsistently sharp.

  64. 64.

    Uncle Cosmo

    December 24, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    @NotMax:

    There was a young bard from Japan
    Whose limericks never would scan.
    When someone asked why,
    He’d reply, “Because I
    Always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”

    :p

  65. 65.

    satby

    December 24, 2018 at 10:14 pm

    I can beat pizza hut and hot dogs for dinner, I had a bowl of Cheerios. There’s a ribeye in the fridge that was supposed to be tonight’s dinner, but I had a leftover enchilada for lunch and I wasn’t hungry enough to bother cooking.

  66. 66.

    Ken

    December 24, 2018 at 10:30 pm

    @Uncle Cosmo:
    There once was a gas man named Peter
    Who one day while reading the meter
    Used a match for some light
    He blew out of sight
    And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he absolutely ruined the meter.

  67. 67.

    Ruckus

    December 24, 2018 at 10:54 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:
    I used to have that upgrade.

  68. 68.

    Miss Bianca

    December 24, 2018 at 10:58 pm

    @zhena gogolia: one of my favorite Christmas movies!

  69. 69.

    zhena gogolia

    December 24, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    @Miss Bianca:

    It’s perfection.

  70. 70.

    Jackie

    December 24, 2018 at 11:27 pm

    @tobie: Trump has announced any foods not processed by McDonalds and KFC not subject to FDA inspection.

  71. 71.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    December 25, 2018 at 3:03 am

    @zhena gogolia:

    I actually said, “I’m glad we’re not having one of those roast duck dinners.”

    Wha … wha … what?!? We actually just ate a homemade roast duck dinner. I slaved all afternoon on the frickin’ thing. It was delicious. WTF is your problem?!?

    *sulks*

  72. 72.

    zhena gogolia

    December 25, 2018 at 8:13 am

    @Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:

    All I meant was, we’re having brisket today so I was glad not to be having one of the heavy meals described in the above-mentioned film Christmas in Connecticut. It was a film reference — not a very clear one.

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