Monday 17th December, they still haven't noticed. pic.twitter.com/z1hfXmfK5a
— Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) December 17, 2018
I’ll believe that Trump is growing into the presidency when his staff stops talking about him like a toddler. https://t.co/I4zuJyecOx pic.twitter.com/KEDwHHwcvw
— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) December 18, 2018
T'was the night before Christmas, when in the White House.
A creature was tweeting, with keyboard and mouse.
The shutdown continued, but he felt no one cared.
As he hoped that the Wall Money, soon would be there.— Alex Seitz-Wald (@aseitzwald) December 24, 2018
The blood trees were lonely, nobody is there,
Not even his children, they're fleeing by air.— David Henry (@WorstThtCldHppn) December 24, 2018
The Senators were all home, taking a break
Each asking themselves how much more to take
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
He tweeted not to panic, the market now in tatters
Away to the window we all flew like a flash
Wondering how this guy could turn this to ash— Jason Zimmerman (@zimmy1998) December 24, 2018
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
he bailed out the back cause he knew what's the matter,
More rapid than Eagles the prosecutors they came,
Trump shouted and screamed and called them foul names.— Richard Kapuaala (@rkapuaala) December 24, 2018
Twas the night before Christmas, when through the White House
Not a Kushner was resting, not even his spouse;
The documents were hung by the shredder with care,
In fears that Bob Mueller soon would be there#TrumpChristmasShutdown #TrumpShutdown #TrumpResign— Orca (@Orcalover25) December 24, 2018
Raoul
All I have is: “Rosebud.”
Patricia Kayden
It’s strange that Trump tweeted that he was all alone when his wife flew back from Florida to be with him.
Anyhoo, hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas Eve except for Trump and his supporters, of course.
zhena gogolia
I thought Paul Bronks was suspended. I can’t see his tweets any more.
NotMax
Okay, this cartoon made me smile.
Bells, you say?
debbie
@zhena gogolia:
That’s a tweet from before the suspension. :(
frosty
Paging Siuban Duinne… cleanup in the poetry aisle! Can’t anyone write a parody that scans correctly. Every one of the Night Before Xmas ones I’ve read has too many syllables. Good rhymes though.
kdbart
This is all ends like it ended for Cody Jarrett, right?
zhena gogolia
@kdbart:
Just stick close to Edmond O’Brien and you’ll be okay.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Patricia Kayden: And he has a school aged child!
Mnemosyne
@zhena gogolia:
@debbie:
He’s now tweeting from @slendersherbet rather than @boringenormous. He has a full explanation, but basically he got targeted by video squatters who tried to extort him for using “their” videos. He refused, so they got Twitter to shut him down. ?
NotMax
@frosty
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most of these scan
But this one fails to do so
dmsilev
@Patricia Kayden: Of course, she left him behind to go to Florida before someone talked her into coming back.
Adam L Silverman
@Patricia Kayden: @Dorothy A. Winsor: I’m sure the First Lady took her son to her parents. Her parents have a house about 4 or 5 miles from the White House.
debbie
@Mnemosyne:
Thanks. I know he’s made more than a few animal lovers apoplectic.
JR
I’m trying to drink away the part of the day that I cannot sleep away…
Amir Khalid
It’s wicked of me, I know, but this is the kind of Christmas I want Trump to have.
NotMax
@Adam l. Silverman
Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that dinner.
Does Hertz rent vans with directional pickup antennae?
;)
A Ghost To Most
The jackass is probably sitting under some mistletoe with a mirror, kissing himself.
Barbara
@NotMax: You’ll need a Slovenian translator. Apparently she and Barron speak to each other, and of course to her parents, in Slovenian.
dmsilev
No link, but apparently the stock market gyrations have done what two years of steadily mounting scandals and crimes were unable to accomplish: convince the Mustache Of Understanding (aka Tom Friedman) that Trump should be removed from office ASAP. Of course he wants to start by having two unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster, and three Yetis, sorry I mean a bunch of responsible and patriotic Republican leaders stage an intervention and once that fails to call for his ouster. But that’s still progress, and it only took four Friedman Units for him to get this far.
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax: It’s a Hertz Club Gold membership upgrade. If you have the points, you’re good.
zhena gogolia
@Mnemosyne:
Thank you! I was in withdrawal.
NotMax
A corresponding chart with number of dentists per capita would be nice.
Most Popular Christmas Candy by State
Adam L Silverman
@dmsilev:
Leave my cousins out of this.
Mary G
WTF?
scav
@Mary G: That is about the age where most individuals stop believing our current president is normal, let alone able.
(some close their eyes furiously and continue to pretend, hoping to get more gifts.)
NotMax
@Mary G
Followed by “Would you like to be Secretary of Defense?”
:)
Can’t help but wonder how come that’s dated tomorrow?
Baud
@scav:
But enough about Trump’s cabinet
Schlemazel
Kids Getting A Little Old To Still Believe In Innate Charitable Goodness Of Humans
It is as if they can read my mind
zhena gogolia
I just had the thought, “John Cole is probably having a sweet Christmas Eve in the bosom of his family,” then I peeked at his Twitter feed and saw that he’s live-tweeting a Christmas concert featuring bad local high-school bands. That made me feel better somehow. Our Christmas Eve consisted of watching Christmas in Connecticut from 4 to 6, then having hot dogs for dinner. Tomorrow should be a little better.
zhena gogolia
@zhena gogolia:
I should have said that the concert he’s live-tweeting is on TV.
SiubhanDuinne
@frosty:
Ha! I’m working on it! The scansion (or lack thereof) is making me crazy!
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
Can almost see Uncle Felix slapping his cheeks in horror.
;)
“Paprika. That will fix it.”
Adam L Silverman
@scav: Leave Seb Gorka out of this!//
NotMax
@SiubhanDuinne
First stanza, no charge.
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And at the White House
Just one creature was stirring
And he was a louse
:)
Adam L Silverman
@NotMax:
This doesn’t rhyme, nor is the meter right.//
SiubhanDuinne
@NotMax:
On children who love me
(Assuming there if any!)
On Eric! On Junior!
On Barron and Tiffany!
(ETA: It makes no grammatical sense, but I like the rhyme. Especially considering I am in a NyQuil haze.)
plato
plato
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
“You want gems, go to Africa.”
– Groucho
;)
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
We had paprika on the cauliflower in honor of Uncle Felix.
I actually said, “I’m glad we’re not having one of those roast duck dinners.”
Adam L Silverman
@zhena gogolia: You do know there’s now a cauliflower recall because it’s coming from the same farms as the contaminated romaine lettuce?
I realize that the USDA, FDA, and CDC figured that since no one actually likes cauliflower, that the recall didn’t need as much publicity as romaine lettuce did.
realbtl
@NotMax:
When outside the White House
Bob Mueller did sing
A load of subpoenas
To you I do bring.
zhena gogolia
@Adam L Silverman:
Wow, I thought you were joking, but it’s real. We love cauliflower. But we had it last night too and no ill effects, so I assume it’s okay.
NotMax
@zhena gogolia
White food? Could have been worse.
;)
Suzanne
@plato: The God Twitter account is one of my favorite things on the internet.
What a dickhole. You’re alone on Christmas Eve because no one loves you and you don’t love anyone! Your wife flew back to save you from everyone knowing how fucking alone and gross you are.
Other than the presidential situation, however, I’m enjoying Christmas thus far. Grammy made Luna-Lu a new sweater.
Adam L Silverman
@zhena gogolia: I was not joking.
joel hanes
The Merriest of Christmases to all those jackals who keep it.
And a joyous and peaceful solstice to those who do not.
May 2019 be a better year.
Much, much, much better
frosty
@zhena gogolia: Pizza Hut for our dinner tonight. Waited until 6 to go find something. Oops.
tobie
@zhena gogolia: I think if you cook the cauliflower, it’s fine. I just had cauliflower tonight and, knock on wood, am not suffering ill effects.
zhena gogolia
@NotMax:
Gross!
frosty
Rats. Moderated because of a typo in the email. Sticky nyms plz?
Adam L Silverman
@frosty: I’ve freed it.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Adam L Silverman: I was watching some Gordon Ramsey cooking show and he made pureed cauliflower as if that were a good thing.
Baud
@joel hanes:
May is a month, silly.
Chetan Murthy
@Dorothy A. Winsor: Pav Bhaji is lovely. Just lovely.
Chetan Murthy
@Chetan Murthy:
Sorry, maybe a little less cryptic: it’s an Indian dish containing (amongst other veggies) mashed cauliflower. Yum! And I typically don’t cook Indian food.
Adam L Silverman
@frosty: Though given that you admitted to going to Pizza Hut for dinner, makes me thing I should have moved it to Spam.//
Adam L Silverman
@Dorothy A. Winsor: You couldn’t pay me to either watch him or eat his food.
Plato
Guessing in cole’s household the cat is the dog.
NotMax
@Adam L. Silverman
Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.
(Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)
NotMax
Linky fix.
@Adam L. Silverman
Ditto. He’s one toque over the line.
(Apologies to Brewer & Shipley.)
NotMax
Running The Third Man in the background on Netflix. There are an awful lot of fuzzy prints out there. This one is pretty clear but still inconsistently sharp.
Uncle Cosmo
@NotMax:
:p
satby
I can beat pizza hut and hot dogs for dinner, I had a bowl of Cheerios. There’s a ribeye in the fridge that was supposed to be tonight’s dinner, but I had a leftover enchilada for lunch and I wasn’t hungry enough to bother cooking.
Ken
@Uncle Cosmo:
There once was a gas man named Peter
Who one day while reading the meter
Used a match for some light
He blew out of sight
And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you, he absolutely ruined the meter.
Ruckus
@Adam L Silverman:
I used to have that upgrade.
Miss Bianca
@zhena gogolia: one of my favorite Christmas movies!
zhena gogolia
@Miss Bianca:
It’s perfection.
Jackie
@tobie: Trump has announced any foods not processed by McDonalds and KFC not subject to FDA inspection.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
@zhena gogolia:
Wha … wha … what?!? We actually just ate a homemade roast duck dinner. I slaved all afternoon on the frickin’ thing. It was delicious. WTF is your problem?!?
*sulks*
zhena gogolia
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice:
All I meant was, we’re having brisket today so I was glad not to be having one of the heavy meals described in the above-mentioned film Christmas in Connecticut. It was a film reference — not a very clear one.