Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

This isn’t Democrats spending madly. This is government catching up.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you don’t.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

No one could have predicted…

Let’s finish the job.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

T R E 4 5 O N

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

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Reader Interactions

37Comments

  1. 1.

    cain

    I orderd 2. One for me and once for the ex wife. Good times. We both have our pets on there so I thought she would appreciate having Trixie (yes I know, it is a strippers name) in the calendar.

  4. 4.

    J R in WV

    I ordered mine the day after they first came out. Shipped a while ago, FedEx says they’re in Indy, IN and due 1/8/19…wtf ??

    They could walk it here by then!!

    I know they will be really cute, so willing to wait. Also ordered Albratrossity’s bird calendar for a neighbor ornithologist, she will love it. Fed Ex delivered it to a different neighbor’s house, left it on a patio table in the rain. J noticed it before the interior was sodden, so it survived.

    Obviously I’m bitchin about FedEx, not the calendars!! Non union, should be using UPS or the USPS, not sub contractor scabs.

  5. 5.

    scav

    @Raven: Well, share that detail carefully as it can become part of the secret handshake / passcode for true believers: Green Balloons? Next to the mustard. Raven’s Fido? On the Left!

  7. 7.

    SenyorDave

    Lindsay Graham was on CNN and was asked about Trump pulling troops out of Syria. He dismissed the question as a bunch of bullshit and had this exchange with Dana Bash:

    “Everything we’re dealing with today falls on Obama’s watch. He’s the one who withdrew from Iraq,” Graham said.
    Bash countered, “But he did it because there was a Status of Forces Agreement in Iraq, right?”
    “Listen. No, that’s a bunch of bulls***. Pardon my French. That’s a complete lie. That’s a complete, absolute lie.”
    Bash’s eyes widened in surprise: “That didn’t happen?”

    I guess he’s learning from Trump – just outright lie. Is Graham part of the Russian thing? He’s a 100% toady for Trump, and it can’t be because of his personal life. I don’t see that anybody would care, but he’s about as closeted as Charles Nelson Reilly or Paul Lynde were back in the 70’s.

    I’m thinking he never had any real integrity, just had to keep up appearances when he was McCain’s best buddy.

  9. 9.

    guachi

    Bought a calendar for a girl I dated in high school. Turns out she hates Trump and is a huge BJ fan.

  10. 10.

    cain

    @guachi:

    Bought a calendar for a girl I dated in high school. Turns out she hates Trump and is a huge BJ fan.

    I need to clean my brain.

  12. 12.

    geg6

    @guachi:

    LOL, phrasing.

    But seriously, you ran into her somewhere and found out that she’s a Jackal? How does that come up? I would love to run into an unexpected Jackal!

  16. 16.

    FlyingToaster

    @Amir Khalid: No, Miss Lindsay’s a Sunday-Program-Staple for the old media. Which seems to be primarily used to scare the bejesus out of old white folks, regardless of network.

    Various olds (and I’m in my late 50s, so older-n-me) keep asking me if I’ve seen something on television, and I’m like, “Was it Doctor Who, on Comet or Science, or old BBC mysteries on WGBX*? Then nope!”

    *WGBH Boston’s second channel; 44 terrestrial.

  17. 17.

    cain

    @FlyingToaster:

    I have long since given up on regular tv, for me political/news stuff is twitter and netflix/amazon prime for movies/shows. I simply cannot take regular television anymore. Life is so good right now. Too bad, I’m getting spied on by Alexa.

  18. 18.

    realbtl

    @geg6: I actually made contact with a fellow unknown jackal on a thread about the Boy Scouts a couple of years ago, hadn’t seen since about 1967. Quite cool.

  19. 19.

    guachi

    @geg6: Facebook, mostly. A lot of my high school friends turned out to be more hard core anti-Trumpers/liberals than I had imagined. Electing Trump kind of had that effect.

    I only found out she liked BALLOON JUICE (She may like the other BJ. I haven’t asked.) recently when I recommended it to her. She loves Betty Cracker and is intimidated by the healthcare posts of David Anderson and the intelligence posts of Adam Silverman.

  21. 21.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @SenyorDave:
    That Status of Forces Agreement is absolutely verifiable by literally anyone. I’m not sure how desperate Graham is to keep whatever somebody has on him from coming out, but blatantly lying about this is like saying there’s no such thing as gravity. He should just resign.

  23. 23.

    HeleninEire

    @Raven: I get your pups mixed up too. I am sure I have said this before. My favorite BJ picture is when you and Lil Bit went to the bakery and Bhodi just wondered in. You took the best pic ever. Lil Bit being awesome and Bhodi sitting there next to his brother thinking “Oh Hi Dad. Take my pic. Look how good I am. I promise I will be he best dog ever!!!”

  28. 28.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @HeleninEire: That should be in every Juice pet calendar ever. Bodhi was the most adorable toddler. And a fine mature gentleman as well. Lil Bit can’t help being adorable at any age, of course.

  29. 29.

    Schlemazel

    @Baud:
    I once had a bunch of people on reddit convinced I was Adam Savage from Mythbuster by simply denying I was him when asked. Though, to be honest I denied it in a humorous way. It went on for a couple of days and they were so convinced my repeated denials just made them more sure

  31. 31.

    Ruckus

    My calendar is on it’s way, supposedly. Set to arrive on the 14th. I believe that I must scare delivery companies. My last Amazon order I canceled last night as it also seems to be lost, as was the first attempt. No one knows nothing.

  35. 35.

    Ruckus

    @NotMax:
    Now you tell me.
    I should have known I guess, getting it from a guy out of the trunk of his car in an alley in the bad part of town. And for only $12.

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