Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

People are complicated. Love is not.

The willow is too close to the house.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Conservatism: there are some people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

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37Comments

  1. 1.

    cain

    I orderd 2. One for me and once for the ex wife. Good times. We both have our pets on there so I thought she would appreciate having Trixie (yes I know, it is a strippers name) in the calendar.

  4. 4.

    J R in WV

    I ordered mine the day after they first came out. Shipped a while ago, FedEx says they’re in Indy, IN and due 1/8/19…wtf ??

    They could walk it here by then!!

    I know they will be really cute, so willing to wait. Also ordered Albratrossity’s bird calendar for a neighbor ornithologist, she will love it. Fed Ex delivered it to a different neighbor’s house, left it on a patio table in the rain. J noticed it before the interior was sodden, so it survived.

    Obviously I’m bitchin about FedEx, not the calendars!! Non union, should be using UPS or the USPS, not sub contractor scabs.

  5. 5.

    scav

    @Raven: Well, share that detail carefully as it can become part of the secret handshake / passcode for true believers: Green Balloons? Next to the mustard. Raven’s Fido? On the Left!

  7. 7.

    SenyorDave

    Lindsay Graham was on CNN and was asked about Trump pulling troops out of Syria. He dismissed the question as a bunch of bullshit and had this exchange with Dana Bash:

    “Everything we’re dealing with today falls on Obama’s watch. He’s the one who withdrew from Iraq,” Graham said.
    Bash countered, “But he did it because there was a Status of Forces Agreement in Iraq, right?”
    “Listen. No, that’s a bunch of bulls***. Pardon my French. That’s a complete lie. That’s a complete, absolute lie.”
    Bash’s eyes widened in surprise: “That didn’t happen?”

    I guess he’s learning from Trump – just outright lie. Is Graham part of the Russian thing? He’s a 100% toady for Trump, and it can’t be because of his personal life. I don’t see that anybody would care, but he’s about as closeted as Charles Nelson Reilly or Paul Lynde were back in the 70’s.

    I’m thinking he never had any real integrity, just had to keep up appearances when he was McCain’s best buddy.

  9. 9.

    guachi

    Bought a calendar for a girl I dated in high school. Turns out she hates Trump and is a huge BJ fan.

  10. 10.

    cain

    @guachi:

    Bought a calendar for a girl I dated in high school. Turns out she hates Trump and is a huge BJ fan.

    I need to clean my brain.

  12. 12.

    geg6

    @guachi:

    LOL, phrasing.

    But seriously, you ran into her somewhere and found out that she’s a Jackal? How does that come up? I would love to run into an unexpected Jackal!

  16. 16.

    FlyingToaster

    @Amir Khalid: No, Miss Lindsay’s a Sunday-Program-Staple for the old media. Which seems to be primarily used to scare the bejesus out of old white folks, regardless of network.

    Various olds (and I’m in my late 50s, so older-n-me) keep asking me if I’ve seen something on television, and I’m like, “Was it Doctor Who, on Comet or Science, or old BBC mysteries on WGBX*? Then nope!”

    *WGBH Boston’s second channel; 44 terrestrial.

  17. 17.

    cain

    @FlyingToaster:

    I have long since given up on regular tv, for me political/news stuff is twitter and netflix/amazon prime for movies/shows. I simply cannot take regular television anymore. Life is so good right now. Too bad, I’m getting spied on by Alexa.

  18. 18.

    realbtl

    @geg6: I actually made contact with a fellow unknown jackal on a thread about the Boy Scouts a couple of years ago, hadn’t seen since about 1967. Quite cool.

  19. 19.

    guachi

    @geg6: Facebook, mostly. A lot of my high school friends turned out to be more hard core anti-Trumpers/liberals than I had imagined. Electing Trump kind of had that effect.

    I only found out she liked BALLOON JUICE (She may like the other BJ. I haven’t asked.) recently when I recommended it to her. She loves Betty Cracker and is intimidated by the healthcare posts of David Anderson and the intelligence posts of Adam Silverman.

  21. 21.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    @SenyorDave:
    That Status of Forces Agreement is absolutely verifiable by literally anyone. I’m not sure how desperate Graham is to keep whatever somebody has on him from coming out, but blatantly lying about this is like saying there’s no such thing as gravity. He should just resign.

  23. 23.

    HeleninEire

    @Raven: I get your pups mixed up too. I am sure I have said this before. My favorite BJ picture is when you and Lil Bit went to the bakery and Bhodi just wondered in. You took the best pic ever. Lil Bit being awesome and Bhodi sitting there next to his brother thinking “Oh Hi Dad. Take my pic. Look how good I am. I promise I will be he best dog ever!!!”

  28. 28.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @HeleninEire: That should be in every Juice pet calendar ever. Bodhi was the most adorable toddler. And a fine mature gentleman as well. Lil Bit can’t help being adorable at any age, of course.

  29. 29.

    Schlemazel

    @Baud:
    I once had a bunch of people on reddit convinced I was Adam Savage from Mythbuster by simply denying I was him when asked. Though, to be honest I denied it in a humorous way. It went on for a couple of days and they were so convinced my repeated denials just made them more sure

  31. 31.

    Ruckus

    My calendar is on it’s way, supposedly. Set to arrive on the 14th. I believe that I must scare delivery companies. My last Amazon order I canceled last night as it also seems to be lost, as was the first attempt. No one knows nothing.

  35. 35.

    Ruckus

    @NotMax:
    Now you tell me.
    I should have known I guess, getting it from a guy out of the trunk of his car in an alley in the bad part of town. And for only $12.

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