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You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Readership Capture / I Have Some Terrible News

I Have Some Terrible News

by John Cole|  January 22, 20196:46 pm| 304 Comments

This post is in: Readership Capture

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I’ve just been in contact with a young woman named Laura, who is the niece of valued longtime commenter Schlemazel. Apparently he went to the doctor last week for what he thought was a UTI, and it turns out that it was not a UTI:

He has end stage bladder cancer. It was unexpected and completely botched. He went in to the ER last week for what we thought was a UTI and they admitted him right away. They did a bunch of tests and we found out this afternoon that he won’t be coming home. He is a brilliant misanthrope and I am so grateful that he was able to find a lovable bunch of jackels that have like minds.

Apparently his calcium is out of whack and he is confused and will not be able to respond to this post, but I wanted everyone to know and to lift a glass to the cantankerous bastard, say prayers, do whatever you do, and maybe a miracle will occur. I’ve got him in my thoughts.

Fight, Schlemazel.

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Reader Interactions

304Comments

  1. 1.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    Oh, no! Fight, hang in there, fuck cancer! Schlemazel, we are all with you. Blessings on the niece for communicating, and I hope she’ll keep us informed, and let us know if there’s anything we can do.

  2. 2.

    Pharniel

    January 22, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Fuck. That’s just fucked all the way around.

    Sympathies for his family.

  3. 3.

    Gbbalto

    January 22, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    So sorry to hear this – my best wishes and hopes

  4. 4.

    trollhattan

    January 22, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    Oh no Schlemazel, I’m mortified at this news. Fight the good fight, I’m thinking of you!

  5. 5.

    khead

    January 22, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Whoa. That sucks. Will do.

    Fight, Schlemazel.

  6. 6.

    Frankensteinbeck

    January 22, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Rrg. I just went and asked the doctor in the family. ‘End stage’ means it’s beyond curing, although temporary mediation may be possible. That sucks. Schlemazel, we will indeed think of you and hope for a miracle.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    January 22, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    Damn, that’s bad news.

    Fuck cancer.

  8. 8.

    MazeDancer

    January 22, 2019 at 6:52 pm

    Oh, no!!

    Pouring out a glass, right now. Raising it high. And beaming healing thoughts to Schlemazel.

  9. 9.

    chopper

    January 22, 2019 at 6:53 pm

    oh jesus, that’s sucks. fuck cancer.

  10. 10.

    West of the Rockies

    January 22, 2019 at 6:53 pm

    Cyber hugs beaming your way.

  11. 11.

    TaMara (HFG)

    January 22, 2019 at 6:53 pm

    Fuck. That’s awful news. Hugs to him and his family. We are so grateful he is part of our community of jackals.

  12. 12.

    Cheryl from Maryland

    January 22, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    Fuck.

  13. 13.

    eclare

    January 22, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    How awful! Wishes for peace and strength.

  14. 14.

    Wapiti

    January 22, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    Arrg – terrible news.

    Schemazel – one of the good ones :lifts glass:

  15. 15.

    Barbara

    January 22, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    So so sorry. Wishing Schlemazel the best.

  16. 16.

    Baud

    January 22, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    That’s awful. Keeping Schlemazel in our thoughts.

  17. 17.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    January 22, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    Damn. Wishing Schlemazel peace and comfort.

  18. 18.

    Lyrebird

    January 22, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    GAH!!! Will pour out a small glass… of my favorite cold remedy, but all strength to you, Schlemazel, and your family too!

  19. 19.

    Beeb

    January 22, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    Oh, no. I am so sorry. Thanks for letting us know, JC, and thanks to Laura, too. Golden thoughts of healing heading their way.

  20. 20.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    January 22, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    Damn. That’s terrible. My sympathies to Schlemazel and family. Hoping for a miracle.

  21. 21.

    AliceBlue

    January 22, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    Oh no! I’m so sorry.

  22. 22.

    Jane2

    January 22, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    Horrible news…comfort to Schlemazel and his loved ones as they work though it.

  23. 23.

    Lyrebird

    January 22, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    his calcium is out of whack and he is confused

    My limited family experience suggests that this confusion MIGHT get better once they figure out what else not working; anything messing up water filtration can have wacked side effects that are even so easier to fix that the rest…

  24. 24.

    Elizabelle

    January 22, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    Goddamn. Hoping for comfort for Schlemazel and his family — some really effective palliative drugs. I hope (selfishly) he improves enough to pop back in for a hello.

    Grateful to the niece for keeping us informed. But goddamn. One of my faves, eeyore-ish as he can be.

  25. 25.

    Boudica

    January 22, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    So sorry to hear this. Sending healing thoughts.

  26. 26.

    thalarctosMaritimus

    January 22, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear the news. I’m tearing up for someone I’ve never met, but whose caring and passion for justice I could feel by reading his comments.

    *salute*, Schlemazel.

  27. 27.

    CaseyL

    January 22, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    What terrible news, and what a terrible way to find out. I {{heart}} the old curmudgeon and will wish for him a miracle remission with all my heart.

  28. 28.

    Yarrow

    January 22, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    Oh, no. That is just terrible. Thinking of him. He has been through so much in the last several months, what with messed up trips to Mayo clinic and seeing various doctors. Wishing him and his family much comfort as they deal with this latest development.

  29. 29.

    schrodingers_cat

    January 22, 2019 at 7:08 pm

    That’s awful. Sending him good thoughts.

  30. 30.

    Gravenstone

    January 22, 2019 at 7:09 pm

    Fucking fuck fuck FUCK! This hits rather close to home as my stepfather neglected his bladder cancer until the anemia from the resulting bleeds forced his hand. He was fortunate that it was still treatable and he’ll simply die with it, rather than from it (whenever that time might come). I fervently hope that his doctors can help Schlemazel in easing his pain. And my thoughts will be with him and his loved ones in this most difficult time.

  31. 31.

    zhena gogolia

    January 22, 2019 at 7:09 pm

    Oh, this is terrible news. He has been so valiant. I am in tears.

  32. 32.

    WaterGirl

    January 22, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    Oh, no. Devastating news. Schlemazel, I hope you know you are loved by your fellow jackals. Just sobbing.

  33. 33.

    zhena gogolia

    January 22, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    I also thought that when he finally got to Mayo they told him it wasn’t cancer.

  34. 34.

    Mary G

    January 22, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    “Best healthcare system in the world” – NOT. His doctors blew this big time, and it hurts to think that he has gone through so much more shit than he had to, because they couldn’t find it. He is part of the backbone of this blog, and I will miss him so much. His niece is spot on with “brilliant misanthrope.” I’m gutted.

    Prayers and light to him and his family. Hope he has good pain management. Fuck cancer.

  35. 35.

    Yarrow

    January 22, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    @zhena gogolia: I thought the same thing. Or maybe it was the other way around–Mayo thought it was cancer but his previous doctors (U of Minnesota?) said it wasn’t. I can’t remember now. There was definitely disagreement about it by the medical professionals, which just had to be so awful.

  36. 36.

    rikyrah

    January 22, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Fuck cancer??

  37. 37.

    Mike in NC

    January 22, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    So sorry to be reading this…

  38. 38.

    Mnemosyne

    January 22, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Oh no! As MaryG said, the whole process of him trying to get diagnosed was totally botched. He had different doctors telling him totally different things for months at a time. Poor guy. ?

  39. 39.

    Raven

    January 22, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    Goddamn it.

  40. 40.

    Ohio Mom

    January 22, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    I’m gobsmacked. Do I remember correctly that he’d been going for all sorts of medical tests and evaluations, how is something like this missed? Botched indeed.

    I am so so sorry. I hope he has some good days left and that he finds peace. I’ll miss his voice here.

    Thanks Niece Laura for letting us know. Take care of yourself.

  41. 41.

    HRA

    January 22, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    Salute and blessings for comfort to him.

  42. 42.

    dexwood

    January 22, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    Well, damn. A good guy who always added to this place. Peace and strength to Schlemazel and his family.

  43. 43.

    cain

    January 22, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Goddam, I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope that there is some slim chance that he will beat it. Hell the doctor was wrong about one diagnosis, perhaps he’s wrong on this as well.

  44. 44.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)  ??

    January 22, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Oh my god. I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ll keep you in my thoughts, Schemazel. Screw cancer. I really hope you’ll pull out of this.

  45. 45.

    lurker dean

    January 22, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    oh man, that really sucks. sending all the good thoughts i can.

  46. 46.

    waratah

    January 22, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I hope you are finally getting some relief for your pain but I hate the diagnosis.
    Everything that Mary G says.

  47. 47.

    boatboy_srq

    January 22, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Holding Schlemazel and family in the light, as MB is wont to say.

  48. 48.

    dp

    January 22, 2019 at 7:26 pm

    I lurk more than comment, but best of all wishes and hopes for the best. Cancer, of course, sucks.

  49. 49.

    Immanentize

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    I cannot express how these stories destroy what keeps me from folding.

    Godspeed, Schlemazel

  50. 50.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    @thalarctosMaritimus:

    I’m tearing up for someone I’ve never met

    This is the most Balloon Juice thing ever. I can’t imagine a more empathic, tight-knit community than this lot of snarky jackals, but there you are.

  51. 51.

    hedgehog mobile

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Dammit. Peace and strength to Schemazel and family. Fuck cancer.

  52. 52.

    japa21

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Can’t say much more than everybody else has, but damn, this hurts. But the responses are one of the reasons I love this place. There is a real family here (some trolls excepted). The name for group of jackals is pack, but we should change it to a balloon juice of jackals.

    ETA, SD may have said it better than I did, but then that is almost always the case.

  53. 53.

    JaySinWA

    January 22, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    @Mary G: I suppose we can hope for yet another misdiagnosis. Getting his electrolytes in order should help with the confusion, and then he can help with the treatment decisions. It’s harder on the family when the patient is not part of the decisions.

  54. 54.

    Thoughtful David

    January 22, 2019 at 7:30 pm

    So, sorry, Schlemazel.

  55. 55.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 7:30 pm

    @japa21:

    SD may have said it better than I did, but then that is almost always the case.

    Pshaw. Get out of here.

  56. 56.

    Tazj

    January 22, 2019 at 7:31 pm

    This is horrible and just really sucks after all he has been through. I hope for the best and that he is being made comfortable.

  57. 57.

    japa21

    January 22, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: Not getting rid of me that easy.

  58. 58.

    sapient

    January 22, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    So sorry to hear this. All positive thoughts to Schlemazel and family.

  59. 59.

    JPL

    January 22, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    Cancer sucks..

    Please tell Laura to hug him for me.

  60. 60.

    Kathleen

    January 22, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    Shit. Thank you Laura for telling John. I’m sending love and healing energy to you, Schmazel and your family. Schemazel and I had a sort of real life connection 50+ years ago. We were about the same age and I lived in Minnesota while attending high school. My dad was on local radio and Schemazel said he wanted to be on radio and looked up to my dad, whom he got to meet. He told me in a comment my dad was very kind to him. Both of us were involved in DFL politics back in the day but I never did meet him. Shit.

  61. 61.

    geg6

    January 22, 2019 at 7:36 pm

    Oh man, this is terrible news. Fuck cancer! Sending good, fighting thoughts. Damn.

  62. 62.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 22, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    Fuck.

  63. 63.

    Elizabelle

    January 22, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    @Mary G:

    brilliant misanthrope

    I know. Do love that description, and it fits. I think niece Laura is a jackal in waiting.

    I wonder if it’s crueler to get this diagnosis so late, or to have been denied living with the hope of getting past it, as Schlemazel had been. I kind of think hope is always good. Sometimes it is all you have.

    Anyway, fuck cancer, and gonna go pour out a glass of wine and toast dear misanthrope.

  64. 64.

    Heidi Mom

    January 22, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    Such horrible news. Wishing peace and comfort for him and his loved ones.

  65. 65.

    VeniceRiley

    January 22, 2019 at 7:38 pm

    @Kathleen: Oh, shit! Shit shit.
    I’m so sorry, Jackals who knew him best, and Family.
    A loss of one Jackal is a loss for all Jackals. All my best thoughts going out to Schlamazelland

  66. 66.

    chris

    January 22, 2019 at 7:39 pm

    Damn! That is terrible news. Fuck cancer!

  67. 67.

    JPL

    January 22, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    It’s just so sad. Hugs

  68. 68.

    Genine

    January 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    Sending healing vibes his way!

  69. 69.

    seefleur

    January 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    SO very very sorry to hear this – delurking to say that I will be sending my most heartfelt vibes to Schlemazal and family. The jackaltariat is an amazing group, and Schlemazal is a huge reason for the amazingness.

  70. 70.

    delk

    January 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    Terrible news. Fuck cancer.

  71. 71.

    Fair Economist

    January 22, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    So sorry to hear this. You will be missed, Shlemazel!

    And thank you so much for letting us know, Laura.

  72. 72.

    Ben Cisco

    January 22, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    Damn! Just walked in from work and fired up the blog – this is awful.

    Schlemazel, as others have said, is a key player in this place. Healing thoughts to, his family, and all of us.

  73. 73.

    Ceci n est pas mon nym

    January 22, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    Oh no! So devastated to hear this. Thoughts going out to Schlemazel and family.

  74. 74.

    Nicole

    January 22, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    Awful news. Much love to Schlemazel and his family.

  75. 75.

    ThresherK

    January 22, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    Sending comforting thoughts.

  76. 76.

    Redshift

    January 22, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    Yeah, fuck cancer. ☹️

  77. 77.

    Rhubarb

    January 22, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    I pretty much always lurk, although I did tell you all when my wonderful nephew died at 35 of cancer and when I was diagnosed myself. So far I am still around and I very much hope that Schlemazel will continue to be also. We really can’t spare the good ones. Too many of the other kind yet flourish.

  78. 78.

    banditqueen

    January 22, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    Peace to Schlemazel, the brilliant and woke misanthrope–I hope you listen to the music you love, see the fam you love, the places you love, recall the memories you love, and create new memories to love. So so sorry for this rough time for you and everyone in your life (you misanthrope!).

  79. 79.

    Felanius Kootea

    January 22, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    So sorry to hear this. Wishing Schlemazel the comforting presence of loved ones at this difficult time.

  80. 80.

    JMG

    January 22, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    Ah, shitfuck. Thank you for telling us, John. I hope those close to him can take some comfort in how this little community shares their pain.

  81. 81.

    Aleta

    January 22, 2019 at 7:47 pm

    Thanks Laura. Love to Schlemazel.

  82. 82.

    White & Gold Purgatorian

    January 22, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    Schlemazel is a valuable — and valued — voice here. Holding him and his family in my thoughts. Cancer totally sucks and having that diagnosis sprung upon you at an advanced stage sucks worse.

    Edited to fix autocorrect corrections.

  83. 83.

    dexwood

    January 22, 2019 at 7:49 pm

    @Rhubarb:
    We really can’t spare the good ones.

    Ain’t that the fucking truth.

  84. 84.

    RedDirtGirl

    January 22, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    Such awful news!

  85. 85.

    Kathleen

    January 22, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    @VeniceRiley: Indeed. Sigh.Shit.

  86. 86.

    FelonyGovt

    January 22, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Awww, what horrible news. Thinking of Schlemazel and his whole family. He’s been through so much. Cancer sucks.

  87. 87.

    Zelma

    January 22, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    The response to Schlemazel’s condition is what makes this place special. I mostly lurk, but I feel that this is my online home. Damn cancer. I only wish medicine was as good as it ought to be, but it’s an art as much as a science.

    I love the term “brilliant misanthrope.” I lay claim to the latter.

  88. 88.

    pat

    January 22, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    What everyone has already said.

    Peace and light to Schemazel and his family.

  89. 89.

    scott alloway

    January 22, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    So saddened to hear this. Miracles happen. Hoping for the best.

  90. 90.

    PsiFighter37

    January 22, 2019 at 7:58 pm

    Fuck cancer. Sorry to hear the bad news.

    :(

  91. 91.

    lahke

    January 22, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    All the best to Schlemazel and his family.
    And all the best to the rest as well.

  92. 92.

    dww44

    January 22, 2019 at 8:00 pm

    @MazeDancer: As am I. Fight, Schlemazel

  93. 93.

    p.a.

    January 22, 2019 at 8:00 pm

    So sorry, horrible news. Fuck cancer

  94. 94.

    Kristine

    January 22, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    Dammit.

    Hoping for the best possible outcome.

  95. 95.

    HeleninEire

    January 22, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    So sad. Thank you to Laura for letting us know. Sending Love and Hope to Schlemazel.

  96. 96.

    p.a.

    January 22, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    So sorry, horrible news. Fuck C

  97. 97.

    Eric NNY

    January 22, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Always been one of my favorite commenters. Positive energy sent your way friend.

  98. 98.

    JanieM

    January 22, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Ah, shit.

    Schlemazel may be a cantankerous misanthrope, but he was courteous and welcoming to me, a relative newcomer and only infrequent commenter here. Niece Laura — carry my hugs along with the rest, and save some for your family as well. What rotten news to add to the daily round.

  99. 99.

    westyny

    January 22, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Awful news. I rarely post but obsessively read, I think of myself as a mute member of this jackal pack. Schlemazel is one of those, like Cole and OH who gives me permission to be as pissed off as I am. Hang in there!

  100. 100.

    gene108

    January 22, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Fuck.

    A few weeks ago he was writing about going to Mayo and then back to the University of Minnesota hospital closer to him and it sounded like things were under control.

    I think he was scheduled to have his bladder removed in February. Or maybe some other procedure for his cancer.

    This is such terrible news after it looked like things were turning around.

    Prayers that he can beat it and a miracle occurs.

  101. 101.

    Another Scott

    January 22, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Thanks for relaying the news from Laura, John.

    :-(

    Peace to Schlemazel and his family. Fingers crossed!
    Scott.

  102. 102.

    Gelfling 545

    January 22, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    So very sorry to hear this. Hoping that the proper diagnosis & treatment will improve the situation some.

  103. 103.

    Brachiator

    January 22, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    I am very sorry to hear about this sad news.

    My sympathies to his family.

  104. 104.

    zhena gogolia

    January 22, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    @JanieM:

    He was always sweet to other commenters.

  105. 105.

    Lapassionara

    January 22, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    We need all the Schlemazels we can get in this day and age. So sad.

  106. 106.

    cckids

    January 22, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Damn it. So so sorry. Sending Schlemazel all good thoughts, wishing you peace.

  107. 107.

    Elizabelle

    January 22, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    @zhena gogolia:

    Yes. Schlemazel is very much a gentleman.

  108. 108.

    Haroldo

    January 22, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    I am very sorry to hear this. Strength, Schlemazel, and comfort.

  109. 109.

    Mike in DC

    January 22, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    Well, that fucking sucks. I hope his confusion clears and he’s able to get some good palliative care and some remaining quality time with friends, family and loved ones.

  110. 110.

    Sab

    January 22, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    I am so sorry to hear this,.

  111. 111.

    Jenn

    January 22, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Damn, I am so sorry to hear that. Best to Schlemazel and all those who love him.

  112. 112.

    susanna

    January 22, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    Very sorry to hear about this. One of my favorites here. Peace and comfort for him.

  113. 113.

    Ghost of Joe Lieblings Dog

    January 22, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Horrible news – I’m so sorry to hear this.

  114. 114.

    feebog

    January 22, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    One of the most insightful and steady commentors in our little community. This really sucks.

  115. 115.

    JPL

    January 22, 2019 at 8:16 pm

    Two comments.
    One thank you so much for keeping us informed.
    two fkffkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk

  116. 116.

    Ukko

    January 22, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    So sorry to hear this. Fuck cancer.

  117. 117.

    tobie

    January 22, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Oh no. Schlemazel is a fixture on this blog. His acerbic wit keeps us all grounded. Schlemazel, you are in our thoughts.

  118. 118.

    Sebastian

    January 22, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Jesus Fucking Christ. I don’t know what to say.

    Fuck cancer.

  119. 119.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    January 22, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Fuck.
    I hope he can be kept as comfortable as modern medicine can make him and that his family can find some solace in the fact that he has been so loved for his kindness as well as his wit and insight, here. He’s one of my absolute favorites.

    My heart goes out to all of them.

  120. 120.

    SFBayAreaGal

    January 22, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Dear Schlemazel, I am sorry to hear this. All my love to you, your family, and your friends.

  121. 121.

    Gvg

    January 22, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    This is so sad. I hope his niece will keep us informed.

  122. 122.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    January 22, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this.

  123. 123.

    jacy

    January 22, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    Devastating. Thinking good thoughts for him and his, and hoping they find peace and comfort.

  124. 124.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 22, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

  125. 125.

    Betty Cracker

    January 22, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    Damn it. Courage and strength to Schlemazel and family. And thanks to Laura and John for letting us know. Here’s to the brilliant misanthrope.

  126. 126.

    zhena gogolia

    January 22, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    You’ve got me crying again.

  127. 127.

    JPL

    January 22, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: It reminds me of General Stuck and it leaves a hole in my heart because this is family.

  128. 128.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    Word.

  129. 129.

    zhena gogolia

    January 22, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    @JPL:

    I was thinking of Stuck too.

  130. 130.

    Spanky

    January 22, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    A hearty “FUCK!” is so inadequate. Best of outcomes to you, y’old bastard, whatever that may be.

    And yeah. Fight!

  131. 131.

    laura

    January 22, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Thank you Laura for sharing this unwelcome news. Please pass along a hug and tell him he’s as dear a man as ever there was and his moral compass is true and sometimes his words are blue.
    Fuck cancer.

  132. 132.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    Oh no! Schlemazel, e are all thinking of you and your family and so very sorry. Your wit and companionship here has meant so much to us. Thank you to Laura for letting us know.

  133. 133.

    SFBayAreaGal

    January 22, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Truth

  134. 134.

    JPL

    January 22, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    @zhena gogolia: It really sucks.

  135. 135.

    mad citizen

    January 22, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    Keeping Schlemazel in my thoughts for sure.

  136. 136.

    Citizen Scientist

    January 22, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    Dammit! Thank you for checking in with us Laura and family. Wishing you and Schlemazel strength, comfort, and peace in the days to come.

  137. 137.

    OzarkHillbilly

    January 22, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    I can’t deal with this right now.

  138. 138.

    BruceFromOhio

    January 22, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    So very sorry to hear this. Thank you, niece Laura, for letting John know.

  139. 139.

    dexwood

    January 22, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:
    Says it all.

  140. 140.

    Jager

    January 22, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    When we bought our canyon house 4 years, the first neighbor I met was a retired newspaper guy. We bonded over a few Jack Daniels and water. He passed last year from bladder cancer. It really sucks. I hate shit like this. Sending the best possible vibes from SoCal.

  141. 141.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    @JPL:

    Yep, Stuck popped into my mind immediately. Miss him to this day.

    And it’s been almost two years (? — I think) since GreenNotGreen left us so intimately, generously, and elegantly.

  142. 142.

    hells littlest angel

    January 22, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    Sad news. Best wishes to Schlemazel.

  143. 143.

    Mike J

    January 22, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    .

  144. 144.

    trnc

    January 22, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    Sorry to hear this. Sending as many positive vibes as I can to Schlemazel.

  145. 145.

    Matt McIrvin

    January 22, 2019 at 8:40 pm

    Damn, that’s terrible. Best wishes.

  146. 146.

    Emma

    January 22, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Dammit to hell. Worst part of becoming part of a community like this. Sail into the West in joy, friend I never met.

  147. 147.

    gwangung

    January 22, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    Aw man, no.

  148. 148.

    kindness

    January 22, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    I hadn’t seen that name in a bit. I did enjoy much of what he said.

    Bless you Schlemazel. God bless your family and loved ones. We’re so sorry.

  149. 149.

    Chris T.

    January 22, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Bladder cancer is easily missed, as it has few signs and most of them look like a minor UTI. There’s usually no pain either.

  150. 150.

    Planetjanet

    January 22, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    So sorry to hear this news. I hope Schemazel can feel all the love around him. He has made a difference with his insight, integrity and humor.

  151. 151.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    I’m so upset that this has happened this way. He has been trying to get the right medical care for a long time and dealing with a lot of pain. Fuck fucking cancer.

  152. 152.

    Jackie

    January 22, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    Niece Laura: Thank you so much for contacting John and letting us know. I’m not a praying sort, but, I’m praying for Schlemazel and you and his family.

  153. 153.

    Just One More Canuck

    January 22, 2019 at 8:55 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this – my best to his family

    It’s a tribute to John and all of the frontpagers that we can all come together and feel for someone and be comforted by people we’ve never met.

  154. 154.

    mvr

    January 22, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    My best wishes to him and to his family and his friends as well. I’m sorry to hear this but sending kind thoughts.

  155. 155.

    Villago Delenda Est

    January 22, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    1. Fuck cancer
    2. Schlemazel, fight fight fight!
    3. Family, hang in there!

  156. 156.

    SFAW

    January 22, 2019 at 9:00 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    That was going to be my reply, but you do it better.

    Keep fighting, Schlemazel.

    Fuck.

  157. 157.

    MoxieM

    January 22, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    ah, shit. Sending love and warmth.

  158. 158.

    stinger

    January 22, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    So very sorry to hear this. Schlemazel is indeed a valued commentator. My thoughts are with him, and with his niece Laura and his other family members and friends.

  159. 159.

    Amir Khalid

    January 22, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    I too am with Ozark. There is just nothing else to say.

  160. 160.

    spudgun

    January 22, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    Extremely late to the post, and very upset about this news, but still wanted to put out some strength-and-healing vibes to Schlemazel and his family. You got this, buddy, and we’re all behind you – be strong!

  161. 161.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 9:04 pm

    Goddamn. This is awful.

    Sending prayers to Schlemazel and his family.

  162. 162.

    John Revolta

    January 22, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    Mayo fucked him around, changed his appointment and didn’t tell him, then the doctor said he “didn’t have cancer but he wanted to operate anyway”.
    ??? I dunno what it all means but remind me to stay away from that joint.

    Cheers buddy……………

  163. 163.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    According to my “random Balloon Juice notes” file, Schlemazel had his 67th birthday a couple of weeks ago.

  164. 164.

    HinTN

    January 22, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    Echoing all previous sentiments, but especially

    Wishing Schlemazel peace and comfort

    My glass is raised to one whose comments I always valued.

    Also too, FUCK CANCER

  165. 165.

    spudgun

    January 22, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    @JPL: This.

  166. 166.

    Meyerman

    January 22, 2019 at 9:12 pm

    Cancer took my mom 26 years ago and my dad Thursday night. I fear and hate it. I hope that Schlemazel can get home. Better to leave this life from your own bed, surrounded by those who love you.

  167. 167.

    Baud

    January 22, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    @Meyerman:

    I’m sorry for your loss.

  168. 168.

    stinger

    January 22, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    @Meyerman: Oh, so very sorry to hear it. Hang in there.

  169. 169.

    TS (the original)

    January 22, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    Always late to post – best thoughts to Schlemazel and family

  170. 170.

    Yarrow

    January 22, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    @MomSense: He had been and had worked so hard to get the right diagnosis and treatment. This result is just so unfair. Have missed his voice of late and am so sorry to hear this news.

  171. 171.

    Raven

    January 22, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    @Yarrow: He loved to razz me.

  172. 172.

    Ohio Mom

    January 22, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    @Meyerman: Condolences. May your dad’s memory be a blessing and may you find peace.

    And come back and comment more.

  173. 173.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    @Meyerman:

    Condolences on your loss.

  174. 174.

    Tenar Arha

    January 22, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    I’m sorry to hear this Schlemazel. I’m wishing you the best. I hope you get to see that we’re all rooting for you.

  175. 175.

    Gravenstone

    January 22, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    @Meyerman: I’m sorry for your losses, and can empathize all too well. I’ve lost three immediate family members to cancer. It sucks far beyond words.

  176. 176.

    Emma

    January 22, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    @Meyerman: Oh lord. I am so sorry to hear it. My condolences.

  177. 177.

    Ohio Mom

    January 22, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    @Steeplejack: Your “random Balloon Juice notes file”? Now I’m going to be up wondering what you have on me.

  178. 178.

    Major Major Major Major

    January 22, 2019 at 9:21 pm

    Oh my god, how terrible! Fight on indeed. So awful to hear.

  179. 179.

    Mnemosyne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:22 pm

    @MomSense:

    He originally changed his nym to Schlemazel because he was running into so many weird problems and unusual complications with his health. I don’t remember what his nym was before that one because it was so long ago.

  180. 180.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    @Meyerman:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Sending you a big hug.

  181. 181.

    Barbara

    January 22, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    Reading this again, it strikes me once more how cruel it is that cancer is usually so much clearer in hindsight. I hope they can get a handle on Schlemazel’s confusion. That was the worst thing about my brother’s cancer. I will hope for the best, whatever that may be.

  182. 182.

    gbbalto

    January 22, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    @Meyerman: My condolences. Papa died in 2013 from cancer. Know how it feels. Best to you

  183. 183.

    RepubAnon

    January 22, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    @Frankensteinbeck: If your urine turns the color of cola and there’s pain: UTI. If there’s no pain – get your posterior to a doctor pronto… it’s definitely something that needs to be checked on – probably cancer of the renal system (bladder or kidney). I speak as one who knows.

  184. 184.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    He really tried not to complain but he did express frustration with pain and other symptoms. It must have been a long time ago when he changed his nym.

  185. 185.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    He used Schlemizel for a while. I’ve got a note from 2012 where he was talking about Civil War books.

  186. 186.

    Adam L Silverman

    January 22, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    Keeping good thoughts here!

  187. 187.

    Keith P.

    January 22, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    @RepubAnon: Back in college, I got a real bad cold and took too many Theraflu’s and pissed like cola for a day. It scared the hell out of me, but I didn’t do anything about. Looking back (as someone with end-stage renal disease), I can’t help wonder if that’s when my health actually started its decline, which was basically a really long, gradual elevation of blood pressure that destroyed my kidneys.

  188. 188.

    Mandarama

    January 22, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Oh, no. I always looked forward to Schlemazel’s comments. Thinking of him and his family—wishing comfort and peace to all. ❤️

  189. 189.

    The Lodger

    January 22, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Hoping for peace and more clarity for Schlemazel.
    Also, fuck cancer.

  190. 190.

    Smedley Darlington Prunebanks (formerly Mumphrey, et al.)

    January 22, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    Well, shit. This year doesn’t seem to be turning out any better than the last one, does it?

  191. 191.

    Yutsano

    January 22, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    I just…the only word I have is please no. May Schlemazel get all the comfort and love at the end of his days. And may those be longer than anyone thinks.

    Also too: fuck cancer.

  192. 192.

    Mnemosyne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:33 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    It seriously was like 10 years ago. I have a weird magpie memory for stuff like that sometimes.

  193. 193.

    GregB

    January 22, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    Please get well.

  194. 194.

    schrodingers_cat

    January 22, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    For Schlemazel, he loves Rashid Khan
    Aaoge Jab Tum from Jab We Met (When we met)

  195. 195.

    Mandarama

    January 22, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne: @JPL: I also instantly thought of General Stuck. Voices are strong in their absence. ?

    Hoping for a miracle (or very strong happenstance, whatever you wanna call it) for Schlemazel.

  196. 196.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    @Meyerman:

    I’m so sorry about your dad. Fresh, raw pain. {{{Hugs}}} to you and to all who loved him.

    Fuck cancer. Say it again: FUCK CANCER.

  197. 197.

    Rileys Enabler

    January 22, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    Awww damn. That’s terrible news for us all. Will hold his family in the light and wish him the best of days ahead. I’m so sorry to hear this.

  198. 198.

    rikyrah

    January 22, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    ?????

    I hate cancer

  199. 199.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    @Raven:

    He loved to razz me.

    As do we all, Raven. As do we all.

  200. 200.

    Wolvesvalley

    January 22, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    Another usually silent jackal here. I’m so sorry to hear Schlemazel’s news, and angry that he didn’t get a correct diagnosis. I know some cancers are difficult to detect, and maybe it wouldn’t have made any difference if Mayo had honored its original appointment with him, but I was (and am still) outraged by the disrespect he met with there.

    Holding him in the light, and wishing him courage and peace.

  201. 201.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    @rikyrah:

    Cancer fucking sucks.

  202. 202.

    HinTN

    January 22, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    I always remember the coda

    May the long time sun shine upon you
    All love surround you
    And the pure light within you
    Guide you all the way on

    but the full 13 minutes gives me solace at times like these

    https://youtu.be/-90rrjR6Wvk

    YMMV – I’m just an old flower child

  203. 203.

    Mike R

    January 22, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    What can I say, this is terrible. Schlemazel wishing you the best luck possible. Don’t give up, this sucks. And yes fuck cancer it is a horrible diagnosis to hear.

  204. 204.

    HinTN

    January 22, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    Now I’m going to be up wondering what you have on me.

    THANK YOU for making me laugh

  205. 205.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    January 22, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    Lost my old man less than a month ago and a good friend last week. Don’t go gently into that dark night Good Friend.

  206. 206.

    Kelly

    January 22, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    Bottoms up to you Schlemazel. May the darkness close around you gently.

  207. 207.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    January 22, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    Crap.

  208. 208.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 22, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    I am so sorry for your double loss.

  209. 209.

    Laura Too

    January 22, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    @Raven: He razzed the ones he liked best. :)

  210. 210.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    @schrodingers_cat:

    That was really beautiful. I’m in tears again.

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    I’m really sorry. I’ve got a big hug for you, too.
    I’m like the Oprah of hugs – you get a hug and you get a hug and you get a hug

  211. 211.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    Your birthday is March 13, right?

    And you offered this piece of wisdom in a thread about Israel and Judaism back in 2012:

    [. . .] all they wanted is what everyone wants from a religious community: a place they feel they are welcomed, inspiration to help them through the hard parts of their life, and rituals to give shape to the passing years and changes in their lives.

    It strikes me that Balloon Juice provides that, in many ways.

    Yes, I have a “Balloon Juice” file. Mostly it’s a collection of interesting links with comments or my notes attached—more useful than browser bookmarks. And I do take note of birthdays and anniversaries, I think because I went through a period when I came to realize that the jackaltariat skews older—a lot older—than I thought. And it’s nice to remember people’s special days.

    Full disclosure: my 67th birthday is coming up on Saturday.

    As for Schlemazel, we exchanged some e-mails last summer when he was expecting to have a diverticulectomy. “They will use about 8 inches of my small intestine to build a new bladder for me.” I have an acquaintance who went through that procedure, and I offered to put them in touch so they could compare notes.

  212. 212.

    Ann Marie

    January 22, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    I am so sorry. Sending my best to Schlemazel and family.

  213. 213.

    Timurid

    January 22, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    Fuck cancer.

  214. 214.

    Laura Too

    January 22, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    To all, he is resting comfortably as they are keeping him medicated. I let him know the best I could that he is surrounded by love but even I had no idea how much.. Thank you all for being so kind, and the wonderful words about him. Funny, not until I had to look up the correct spelling of Schlamazel did fully get the term. “A schlemiel is somebody who often spills his soup and a schlamazel is the person it lands on.” It describes his life in a nutshell up to and including the way it will end. He valued all of you, you were such a huge part of his life.

  215. 215.

    Olivia

    January 22, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    @Kathleen: Living in the same area, I had hoped to meet him someday. My warmest thoughts to him and his family and friends.

  216. 216.

    Betsy

    January 22, 2019 at 10:02 pm

    Peace and love to our friend, Schlemazel.

  217. 217.

    Ohio Mom

    January 22, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    @Steeplejack: That wasn’t scary at all, and yes, March 13th.

    Early Happy Birthday greetings to you. Hope your new year brings health and happiness!

  218. 218.

    Drunken Hausfrau

    January 22, 2019 at 10:09 pm

    not today, Death.

  219. 219.

    Elizabelle

    January 22, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    @Laura Too: Thank you for keeping us informed.

    I am sorry you are losing your uncle. You described him so well with “brilliant misanthrope.” All the best to you and your family and Schlemazel.

  220. 220.

    debit

    January 22, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    Just got home and saw this. I have no words, just tears.

  221. 221.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    @Mr Stagger Lee:

    Condolences.

  222. 222.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    @Ohio Mom:

    Thanks.

  223. 223.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    @Laura Too:

    Thank you so much for seeing your uncle, our friend, through this. We are sending love to you too Laura Too.

  224. 224.

    Madeleine

    January 22, 2019 at 10:21 pm

    Thanks to John for your post and to Laura for letting us know Schmazel’s situation. Most of all gratitude, Schmezal, for your words. As MaryG said, you are part of the backbone of the Balloon Juice community.

  225. 225.

    Mel

    January 22, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    @Laura Too: Hold him close for everyone here, and know that we are wrapping our arms around both of you. Love and strength to you and to him.

  226. 226.

    wenchacha

    January 22, 2019 at 10:27 pm

    This is rotten news. My best wishes to Schlemazel for peace and comfort.

  227. 227.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    January 22, 2019 at 10:32 pm

    @Steeplejack:

    my 67th birthday is coming up on Saturday.

    Happy early b-day, my 59th was yesterday.

  228. 228.

    Johnnybuck

    January 22, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    Well fuck..
    Just Godamn

  229. 229.

    Barbara

    January 22, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    @Laura Too: I am so sorry.

  230. 230.

    Steeplejack

    January 22, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    You’re in the book already! I didn’t see you yesterday to wish you happy birthday. Many happy returns!

    Next up I’ve got Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ’s birthday on February 10 and Betty Cracker’s birthday on February 22.

  231. 231.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    January 22, 2019 at 10:38 pm

    Positive thoughts and best wishes to Schlemazel and their family & friends. Holy fuck, cancer sucks. Both my Mom and my wife’s Dad succumbed to it. My wife and our daughter had skin lesions removed last year.

    Once again, cancer sucks!!

  232. 232.

    debbie

    January 22, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    This just sucks.

  233. 233.

    Quinerly

    January 22, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Very late to the thread. So very sorry. Schlemazel, you are in my thoughts.

  234. 234.

    Suzanne

    January 22, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Oh FUCK no. This is terrible. “Fuck cancer” is not adequately conveying my anger and sadness here.
    Much love and wishes for comfort to you, Schlemazel, and Laura Too. I have all of my crossable bits crossed for you that the days are longer and happier and more comfortable than expected.

  235. 235.

    Bookeater (formerly JosieJ)

    January 22, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    I mostly lurk but I want to give my best wishes to Schlemazel and his family. Sending healing thoughts.

  236. 236.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 22, 2019 at 10:53 pm

    Just got on BJ and saw this. Jeezus,how awful. I can’t believe Mayo fucked up like this. Schlemazel is a fixture of BJ and 67 is way too young. Hugs and prayers to Laura and the rest of his family.

  237. 237.

    banditqueen

    January 22, 2019 at 10:55 pm

    @Laura Too: Thank you for being with Schlemazel–and with us. Peace and comfort to the Schlemazel fam.

  238. 238.

    Kayla Rudbek

    January 22, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    Very sorry to see this news. As a expat Minnesotan I enjoyed reading Schlemazel’s stories. We need more like him.

  239. 239.

    MomSense

    January 22, 2019 at 11:01 pm

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    Happy belated birthday, Billin! ? ? ??

  240. 240.

    Jackie

    January 22, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    @Laura Too: Laura Too, we’re all thinking about you and Uncle Schlemazel. Wrap your arms around him and give him love from you and his BJ family.

  241. 241.

    TomatoQueen

    January 22, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    Just found this, so desperately sad and angry and full of kindness to dear Schlemazel, bless him. My hand to him and Laura and all the family. Fucking cancer fuck off.

  242. 242.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 22, 2019 at 11:11 pm

    Fuck cancer.

  243. 243.

    Tehanu

    January 22, 2019 at 11:21 pm

    Oh, so sorry. What a shame. Hoping for peace if healing can’t happen.

  244. 244.

    PaulWartenberg

    January 22, 2019 at 11:24 pm

    Just saw this post. Gods. Let us know what we can do for Schlemazel’s family.

  245. 245.

    satby

    January 22, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    Add my love to all the love flowing toward our Schlemazel tonight. I’m hoping that a miracle can happen for him. He’s been through so much over the last few years. All the best possible, my friend. You have touched my life for the better, and I thank you.

  246. 246.

    TEL

    January 22, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    I mostly lurk but have been following Schlemazel’s travails with getting a diagnosis. I’m so saddened to hear this. Thank you Laura Too for letting us know about your uncle.

  247. 247.

    Sab

    January 23, 2019 at 12:09 am

    @Laura Too: Thank you Laura for keeping us informed. He has been such a mock-crabby but kind presence here.

  248. 248.

    Leto

    January 23, 2019 at 12:14 am

    @Laura Too: He wished me nothing but kindness and love when I had my accident in October. After reading this, I can only do the same. Kindness, love, and a shit ton of positive thoughts.

  249. 249.

    O. Felix Culpa

    January 23, 2019 at 12:35 am

    Words fail, but the heart overflows. May love surround and uphold our Schlemazel and the BJ community.

  250. 250.

    MobiusKlein

    January 23, 2019 at 12:49 am

    @Laura Too: What dedication in this era, going to your uncle’s online haunts, letting them know the news.

    It’s the two year anniversary of my mother in law’s passing. She only lived thru 48 hours of this regime.

  251. 251.

    BeautifulPlumage

    January 23, 2019 at 12:57 am

    Sending love & good energy to Schlemazel & family & all in his community of friends ✨

  252. 252.

    thalarctosMaritimus

    January 23, 2019 at 1:13 am

    @Laura Too: Thank you for keeping us informed, and for passing along our messages to Schlemazel.

    Please remember to take good care of yourself, too.

  253. 253.

    Debbie(Aussie)

    January 23, 2019 at 1:33 am

    Just chiming in at the end of this very long thread ( damn time zones) to say Shlemazel we all care so much. Thank you Laura. FUCK CANCER! ??

  254. 254.

    Chris T.

    January 23, 2019 at 1:45 am

    @RepubAnon: This can also be rhabdomyolysis, which is also very serious and requires immediate medical care.

    In short, brown pee = bad.

  255. 255.

    Ruckus

    January 23, 2019 at 2:21 am

    I guess I’m glad I didn’t go far enough back through the posts.
    Damn this is shitty news. Schlemazel is a great jackel and it looked like he’d gotten good health news.
    Have known people who fought cancer for years and lost. It seems so strange to hear about someone who gets to endstage and doesn’t even know they have cancer at all, especially with all he’s been through. It’s not easy hearing that word when they are actively looking for it, must be absolutely stunning thing when they aren’t and find it.
    All the best to him and his family.
    And as I haven’t said it in a while, Fuck Fucking Cancer.

  256. 256.

    Mrs. D. Ranged in AZ

    January 23, 2019 at 2:21 am

    Ugh, so sorry. Words are so inadequate.

  257. 257.

    Ruckus

    January 23, 2019 at 2:32 am

    @Laura Too:
    Thank you for all this information about Schlemazel.
    I never looked up the word but now have even more kinship with him.
    Spilled soup catcher. Yeah, sounds about right. Never caught soup but did get a very large salad spilled in my lap when I was 16-17 yrs old. Blue cheese dressing no less. The waitress tried to help clean it up which made my buddies watching into even bigger, well asses. That wasn’t start of the rest of my life, only a continuation. It only rains spilled soup or salad in Schlemazel and Ruckus world.
    Sorry for everything.

  258. 258.

    Cermet

    January 23, 2019 at 2:57 am

    Deeply sorry! Terrible news and lost for BJ and all his fellow Jackals!

  259. 259.

    Sister Golden Bear

    January 23, 2019 at 3:00 am

    @Laura Too: Very late to the thread, but I wanted to thank you for the update, and let both of you know how sorry I am. He’d been through so much during the past year, I just hope he can be comfortable in his final days.

  260. 260.

    biff murphy

    January 23, 2019 at 7:49 am

    Schlemazel, so sorry for the bad news for you and yours. Fight the fight bud, best biff.

  261. 261.

    Miss Bianca

    January 23, 2019 at 9:36 am

    Aaaaagh. Poor Schlemazel, going thru all that agony of misdiagnosis and then this. Din’t even know if I can hope that it’s yet another one. : (

    Thanks to Laura for letting us know. Tell him all the jackals are thinking of him.

  262. 262.

    Svensker

    January 23, 2019 at 9:56 am

    Very sorry to hear this. He is a mensch. Hats off to him and best wishes to all his loved ones.

  263. 263.

    Yarrow

    January 23, 2019 at 10:17 am

    @Laura Too: Thank you so much for your update. Please take good care of yourself while you are taking such good care of him.

  264. 264.

    Interrobang

    January 23, 2019 at 10:27 am

    @Laura Too How horrible. May Schlemazel, your family and friends, and you find peace, comfort, and healing, and when the time comes, may you be comforted among the mourners of Jerusalem and Zion. And FUCK CANCER.

  265. 265.

    baquist

    January 23, 2019 at 10:28 am

    @Laura Too: Genuine and sincere thoughts, comfort and well wishes to your family. Thank you for keeping us posted and love to Schlemazel.

  266. 266.

    schrodingers_cat

    January 23, 2019 at 11:29 am

    Sorry wrong thread!

  267. 267.

    opiejeanne

    January 23, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    @JPL: I missed this post yesterday, somehow.
    I wasn’t here long enough to know General Stuck before he left us, but I saw everyone’s reactions and the grief. Schlemazel I do know and I’m devastated. I lost a friend a couple of years ago who I had only known online but had known for 15 years, and the loss is still felt. Like we experienced with her and we with another jackal about the same time, Green not green, we are in mourning before the event, imagining ourselves beside him and trying to find words to comfort him and ourselves. Those words are hard to come by now as they were then.

  268. 268.

    opiejeanne

    January 23, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    @Steeplejack: Mine’s the day before Mrs. D Ranged, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned my birthday here.

  269. 269.

    Laura Too

    January 23, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    Thanks to you all for the kindness shown to all of my family. I have printed out all of your responses and am going to the hospital. I will read them to him as I sit. I know he will hear all the love you have shared. I will update when completed. Again, thank you!

  270. 270.

    WaterGirl

    January 23, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    @Laura Too: Thank you so much for doing that, and for telling us about it. Schlemazel is lucky to have a niece like you.

  271. 271.

    Laura Too

    January 23, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    I just got home. I was lucky to have gotten there before they gave him the next shot of morphine so even though he couldn’t open his eyes and he is on a breathing tube he was very aware of what I was reading. I read him almost all of the comments and names. He clearly understood and recognized everyone. He laughed at some until he choked, he was saddened by some but was very clearly moved by all of the love. He has struggled with acceptance all of his life, I hope for the the first time in his life that he realizes just how much he is loved. I can’t express what all of you mean to me. Thank you!

  272. 272.

    zhena gogolia

    January 23, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    @Laura Too:

    Oh, thank you, that is beautiful. We are all thinking of him.

  273. 273.

    Jackie

    January 23, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    @Laura Too: Thank you for sharing us with him. I hope he has peace♥️

  274. 274.

    Yarrow

    January 24, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @Laura Too: Thank you for your latest update. What a loving thing for you to do. He is so lucky to have a niece like you. Thank you for letting us know. Wishing him and you peace.

  275. 275.

    satby

    January 24, 2019 at 4:01 am

    @Laura Too: Thank you Laura Too! Remind him from us we’re holding him in our hearts.
    One of us, one of us. He is one of us.

  276. 276.

    GrandmaBear (fka glaukopis)

    January 24, 2019 at 6:00 am

    @Laura Too: thank you for the update, and for connecting him with his BJ family. Very late to the thread – I’m about 2 days behind at this point, but so sorry to hear about Schlemazel. He has brought us smiles when we dearly needed them.

  277. 277.

    debbie

    January 24, 2019 at 7:33 am

    @Laura Too:

    Thank you so much for connecting us to Schlemazel. I hope he’s comfortable and I’m glad he knows he’s loved. We are nothing if not loving people!

  278. 278.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 7:40 am

    Hey Schlemazel and Laura: good morning.

    Schlemazel: I hope you are comfortable but having a good and lucid day and enjoying your family around you. You are in my thoughts! And quite unforgettable.

    There is a lovely, heavy pour of rain today in Richmond VA. You would enjoy listening to it.

    All the best, and will check in with you later. Cheers.

  279. 279.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 7:41 am

    @Laura Too:

    We are so glad you are checking in with us, and ferrying our messages to Schlemazel.

  280. 280.

    satby

    January 24, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    Laura Too, several more messages to your uncle are in the Thursday morning thread starting here at #46.
    We appreciate so much you letting him know how we are all thinking of him and miss him.

  281. 281.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Hi Laura Too and Schlemazel: satby (from Mexico this week!) beat me to it. Copying some of the Jackals’ morning greetings into this thread, for your convenience.

    From Odie Hugh Manatee: “He has struggled with acceptance all of his life, I hope for the the first time in his life that he realizes just how much he is loved.”

    I was falling asleep last night and I thought about him and wished him the best. This jackal sits here with tears in his eyes after reading the above quote.

    Good morning, Schlemazel. You are in my thoughts.

    from zhena gogolia: Hi, Schlemazel — I’ve been thinking of you and praying for you every day. We miss you!

    From MomSense: Good morning, Schlemazel. I hope you are feeling comfortable and less confused. We are carrying on here, blasting our mockery through the interwebs. Anne Laurie has mastered the art of posting things to inspire our vitriol. This morning she posted photos of a new challenge coin the Secret Service made. It features a closed sign on government and a tiny little pacifier. I don’t think the man baby in Chief noticed or he’d be twooping (tweeting on the toilet) non stop by now. I hope you find comfort from a visit with your niece Laura. We’ve already welcomed her into the pack. Sending a hug to you.

    From Dorothy Winsor (formerly Iowa Old Lady): Schlemazel, we miss you. We struggle on with jackal snark as best we can.

    From O. Felix Culpa: Dear Schlemazel – What MomSense said. We miss you and send you love and hugs.

    from laura, in California: Schlemazel, sending you some love today.
    Rest in comfort dear heart.
    You are missed.

    From Gelfing 545: Good morning, Shlemazel. Hope they are keeping you comfortable. We’ve been having a little laugh watching Nancy Pelosi wipe the floor with Trump. Probably the first time he’s been useful for something. Still, we miss your distinctive take on events.

    From SFBayAreaGal: Dear Schlemazel – Lots of love and hugs to you and your family.

    From Mary G: Shlemazel , your niece Laura is a wonderful person, and we appreciate her letting us know how you’re doing. We miss you very much.

    From Sebastian: Schlemazel, buddy. What MomSense said. Sending you love and hugs, hang in there bud! We are holding the fort for you. Come back soon!

    From TomatoQueen: Good morning to you Schlemazel, thinking of you every day.

    From Satby, checking in from her vacay in Mexico: Schlemazel, adding my own miss you and sending love and hugs from Mexico. Know the jackals think of you and wish you were online with us every day. We miss your voice, and think you were really strong going through all you have. Much love to you, my friend.

    I will put more up as I find them. Strength to Schlemazel and Laura!

  282. 282.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    From rikyrah! Missed this one: Good Morning, you Dear Guy..
    You are in my prayers ?
    Please be in comfort.

  283. 283.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    From Ozark Hillbilly: I hope my eloquence gave him a laugh. [you know: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck … although Ozark might have capitalized it}

  284. 284.

    Elizabelle

    January 24, 2019 at 3:51 pm

    laura from California, in the thread about organizing Saturday and Sunday meetups in Seattle:

    Please consider a stein hoist in honor of beloved jackal Schlemazel in your meet up doings you lucky Seattler’s and travellers.

    So, people will be drinking in your honor. That’s good.

  285. 285.

    WereBear

    January 24, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    Schlemazel, your sense of humor and lively opinions always put a smile on my face. I know you’ll be welcomed wherever you go.

    But I’ll miss you.

  286. 286.

    sgrAstar

    January 24, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    Hey Schlemazel. I have looked forward to reading your sweet, curmudgeonly posts for years. I hope you can take pleasure in knowing that you’ve amassed a battalion of loving virtual friends. Hands across the water, Schlemazel.

  287. 287.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 24, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Dear Schlemazel, you haven’t been out of my thoughts since your wonderful niece Laura shared your devastating news with us. Lots of love and light to you as you prepare for the next adventure. May your transition be gentle.

  288. 288.

    raven

    January 24, 2019 at 6:05 pm

    Hey Brah, I loved the way you yanked my chain about just about anything. I wish I could have met you and gone to see the gun from the Ward. Can you love someone you’ve never met? I think so.

  289. 289.

    Miss Bianca

    January 24, 2019 at 6:15 pm

    Hey Schlemazel – hope your niece is still reading these to you. Been thinking about you lots the past few days. I am not going to add “praying”, because that’s perilously close to “thoughts and prayers”, and we all know how we jackals think of those! So I’ll say, “sending snark and good vibes” to you as you go forward. We will miss you terribly. : (

    Love, MB

  290. 290.

    ruemara

    January 24, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    Fucking crap. Fuck Cancer. My best thoughts and love go out to Schlemazel.

  291. 291.

    debbie

    January 24, 2019 at 6:22 pm

    @raven:

    Can you love someone you’ve never met? I think so.

    OMG, what is with all the dust in here all of a sudden?

  292. 292.

    laura

    January 24, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    Dear Schlemazel, wishing you comfort and hoping this eases your transition.
    I send it with love
    https://youtu.be/671AgW9xSiA

  293. 293.

    Tom Levenson

    January 24, 2019 at 7:10 pm

    Didn’t see this on the day. So sorry—wretched news. All best thoughts to Schlemazel and loved ones.

  294. 294.

    zhena gogolia

    January 24, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    Schlemazel, I have been thinking of you and praying for you ever since we got this news. We miss you very much.

  295. 295.

    zhena gogolia

    January 24, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    @Elizabelle:

    He capitalized it and put a period at the end.

  296. 296.

    cain

    January 24, 2019 at 7:58 pm

    Hey Schlemazel, good evening, still sending those prayers, man. Hoping for a miracle, but if not, when you traverse to the next plane, give em hell.

  297. 297.

    Ohio Mom

    January 24, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    In a moment of nostaglia, I googled “Schlemazel Balloon Juice” and randomly read through a few old threads that were full of your comments Schlemazel (don’t we all comment in spurts?).

    I was reminded of what great stories you shared with us — dinner with the Romanians and tipsy Halloweens were a couple of them. What a life you lived!

  298. 298.

    WaterGirl

    January 24, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    @Laura Too: This must be so hard for all of you.

    I wanted to let you know that there will be a new thread for Schlemazel on Friday morning. I believe Adam has it scheduled for 8:30 am. Good thoughts and love to you and Schlemazel and the entire family.

  299. 299.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 24, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    @raven:

    Goddammit, raven.

  300. 300.

    Aleta

    January 24, 2019 at 9:10 pm

    My love to you Schlemazel and your wife and kids.

  301. 301.

    sharl

    January 24, 2019 at 10:14 pm

    Goddam. Best wishes to Schlemazel, and for those who love him.

    Thank you for the updates and running the B-J messaging service to and from Schlemazel, Laura Too.

  302. 302.

    TomatoQueen

    January 24, 2019 at 11:04 pm

    I want to wish Schlemazel a peaceful night and also say thanks to Laura Too.

  303. 303.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 25, 2019 at 12:17 am

    We’ll play a tune. We’ll sing a song.

    Maybe we’ll get a dance.

    For you.

  304. 304.

    Yarrow

    January 25, 2019 at 10:05 am

    @Laura Too: Laura, thank you for continuing to give us updates. I don’t know if you’ve seen it but in case not, Adam Silverman has created a new post for Schlemazel where we’re all posting new thoughts for him. You can click through to it here. https://balloon-juice.com/2019/01/25/good-thoughts-for-schlemazel-an-ongoing-series-of-posts/.

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