• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Republicans: “Abortion is murder but you can take a bus to get one.” Easy peasy.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

I really should read my own blog.

The current Supreme Court is a dangerous, rogue court.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

The lights are all blinking red.

Rupert, come get your orange boy, you petrified old dinosaur turd.

“I was told there would be no fact checking.”

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / Late Night Mockery Open Thread: Reagan Was Prematurely Orange; Trump Is Preternaturally Orange

Late Night Mockery Open Thread: Reagan Was Prematurely Orange; Trump Is Preternaturally Orange

by Anne Laurie|  February 3, 20191:47 am| 37 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Our Failed Media Experiment

FacebookTweetEmail

The Paper of Record, chasing the important stories…

Trump's perma-tan is the result of “good genes,” according to a senior administration official who would speak only on the condition of anonymity. https://t.co/Tu6LCCBbjo

— Catherine Rampell (@crampell) February 2, 2019

… Mr. Trump’s former boarding school classmates have described him as a fan of ultraviolet rays, someone who would pop a tanning bulb into a light socket to go “to the beach.” Even James B. Comey, the former F.B.I. director turned presidential foe, speculated on Mr. Trump’s glow. The president’s “face appeared slightly orange,” Mr. Comey wrote in his memoir, “with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles.”

But according to three people who have spent time in the White House residence, no such bed or spray-tan booth exists in a hidden nook of the residence, a cranny of the East Wing or a closet on Air Force One. Two senior White House officials insisted that no such apparatus exists…

Aside from a tanning bed, another plausible theory is that Mr. Trump uses self-tanning creams or lotions. Dr. Tina Alster, a top Washington dermatologist who said she had treated officials in every White House, including this one, posited that the president, whom she does not treat, was using tanning creams or sprays to achieve his look…

Certainly Mr. Trump, who has long taken antibiotics to treat rosacea, a condition that can make the skin appear rosy and ruddy, is attentive to how he looks on television. He has complained that his skin and hair appear too yellow or orange on the screen, according to one person familiar with his views.

As a result, events in the White House are now more dimly lit than in previous administrations. The president has also become a fan of natural light, like the setting of the White House Rose Garden, where Mr. Trump chose to announce the end of the government shutdown in 40-degree weather…

Assuming the Big Macs or Mueller’s minions don’t carry him off before then, we’ve got some more prime body-shaming opportunities to look forward to next week…

Curious if the fittest president in history will once again clock in at a svelte 239 when we all know he's pushing three bills. https://t.co/0UWMXGAnfY

— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) February 2, 2019

“Pushing” 300 pounds? From which direction?

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Open Thread: While We’re Rejecting Racist Politicians…
Next Post: Sunday Morning Open Thread: The Groundhog Is A Lie »

Reader Interactions

37Comments

  1. 1.

    Keith P.

    February 3, 2019 at 1:52 am

    And just to note – Trump has appointed Dr. Ronnie Jackson as his medical advisor right as the physical rolls around again.

  2. 2.

    Sister Golden Bear

    February 3, 2019 at 1:59 am

    The “good genes” must be Oompa Loompa genes.

  3. 3.

    Mary G

    February 3, 2019 at 2:20 am

    @Sister Golden Bear:
    LOL ?

  4. 4.

    Geoduck

    February 3, 2019 at 2:31 am

    Always remember with Rick Wilson: as amusing as his anti-Trump slagging is, he is a Republican, and once the Shaitgibbon is gone, he’ll be right back giving tongue-baths to whoever the new GOP standard-bearer is.

  5. 5.

    sukabi

    February 3, 2019 at 2:31 am

    @Keith P.: really? Thought he was “retired”

  6. 6.

    Eljai

    February 3, 2019 at 2:38 am

    Certainly Mr. Trump, who has long taken antibiotics to treat rosacea, a condition that can make the skin appear rosy and ruddy, is attentive to how he looks on television.

    Who does that? Especially, with everything we know about the dangers of long-term use of antibiotics? I know it’s silly of me to glom onto this when there are so many other norms that he’s broken. I guess this is just one more. Jesus.

  7. 7.

    StringOnAStick

    February 3, 2019 at 2:41 am

    @Keith P.: @Keith P.: I’m assuming Jackson’s career will be saved, if only temporarily, by being tRump ‘s hired doctor-liar. I’m a bit surprised he’s still on staff given what he was accused of, but we know the kind of people tRump prefers to hire.

  8. 8.

    sukabi

    February 3, 2019 at 2:41 am

    @sukabi: I guess drumpf couldn’t find another dr. he could blackmail / bribe into declaring him a perfect specimen of man meat.

  9. 9.

    Mike in Pasadena

    February 3, 2019 at 2:44 am

    Orange pork? Ewww

  10. 10.

    Eljai

    February 3, 2019 at 2:44 am

    Well, my block quote went awry and I can’t fix it.

  11. 11.

    Millard Filmore

    February 3, 2019 at 3:31 am

    @Eljai:

    Well, my block quote went awry and I can’t fix it.

    Those of us with the best brains figured it out.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    February 3, 2019 at 4:06 am

    Mae West, when she was the same age, was less obvious in her use and application of cosmetics.

    ;)

  13. 13.

    JPL

    February 3, 2019 at 4:30 am

    @Keith P.: I totally missed that. Trump is correct if your president they let you do that. Why bother to have a physical at all. Just fill out the paperwork.

  14. 14.

    rikyrah

    February 3, 2019 at 4:49 am

    @Keith P.:
    Absolutely ridiculous??

  15. 15.

    Chet

    February 3, 2019 at 4:55 am

    “Good genes”?

    He really does think he’s the master race.

  16. 16.

    NotMax

    February 3, 2019 at 4:56 am

    @rikyrah

    Healthiest person since Adam.
      – R. Jackson, M.D.

    “Can I have my bottle back now?”

  17. 17.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    February 3, 2019 at 5:36 am

    @Keith P.: Wait, he still has a licence to practice medicine after allegations of drinking on the job?

  18. 18.

    SiubhanDuinne

    February 3, 2019 at 6:48 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA:

    According to the article @sukabi linked to, Jackson is actually still under investigation:

    Saturday’s announcement by the White House follows Trump’s decision to re-nominate Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson for a second star due to inaction by the previous Congress. Jackson’s original nomination was put on hold last year after Trump nominated him to head the Veterans Affairs Department.

    The Navy doctor withdrew following allegations of professional misconduct, which the Pentagon continues to investigate.

  19. 19.

    Keith P.

    February 3, 2019 at 6:49 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Oh, he’s currently under investigation, but Trump likely feels comfortable knowing he’ll get a rave review as the world’s fittest man from Dr. Ronnie. Hell, he might even find some other position to nominate him for and force Mitch to go to the mat for him.

  20. 20.

    horaitus

    February 3, 2019 at 7:06 am

    @Eljai: Also excessive use of antibiotics causes weight gain.

  21. 21.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    February 3, 2019 at 7:25 am

    @SiubhanDuinne: Apparently they’re not investigating very hard.

  22. 22.

    tybee

    February 3, 2019 at 7:39 am

    pushing 300? more like dragging it, kicking and screaming behind him.

  23. 23.

    Ken

    February 3, 2019 at 7:45 am

    a senior administration official who would speak only on the condition of anonymity.

    Most likely Trump. If not, someone who realizes that spouting such nonsense could be detrimental to their reputation and career (i.e. not Sarah Huckabee-Sanders).

  24. 24.

    mere mortal

    February 3, 2019 at 8:00 am

    “Pushing” 300 pounds? From which direction?

    From near the surface of the earth, downward.

    That’s just science.

  25. 25.

    Mousebumples

    February 3, 2019 at 8:01 am

    @Eljai: Who does that? Especially, with everything we know about the dangers of long-term use of antibiotics? I know it’s silly of me to glom onto this when there are so many other norms that he’s broken. I guess this is just one more. Jesus.
    **

    As a pharmacist, I know that regular antibiotics are commonly prescribed for acne and rosacea, among other conditions. And a one off line that says ‘long term use” without more details isn’t helpful or descriptive. Maybe he’s been taking them for a few years, maybe it’s been a few decades. (the latter would be more of a concern) For skin conditions caused by a bacteria, sometimes there aren’t other choices for keeping the condition under control.

    (damn, I cannot believe I’m defending Trump in any fashion!)

  26. 26.

    Nicole

    February 3, 2019 at 8:08 am

    @Mousebumples:

    As a pharmacist, I know that regular antibiotics are commonly prescribed for acne and rosacea, among other conditions. And a one off line that says ‘long term use” without more details isn’t helpful or descriptive. Maybe he’s been taking them for a few years, maybe it’s been a few decades. (the latter would be more of a concern) For skin conditions caused by a bacteria, sometimes there aren’t other choices for keeping the condition under control.

    Ha! As someone with rosacea, I started typing a long reply to the earlier comment, but as the balloon-juice site uses a lot of energy my computer sometimes helpfully “reloads” for me, and I lost what I was typing. You said it better and more succinctly than I did.

    For what it’s worth, I googled, and an article from January of 2018 about Trump’s medications said he was using a prescription cream for rosacea. I’m guessing he’s using metronidazole, which is an antibiotic, but in the case of a cream is safe and intended for long-term use. So I chalk this up to the NYTimes using bad phrasing and making it sound like it’s an oral because they have a lot of lazy writers.

    I hate that I’m defending him too, over anything, but rosacea does suck and can be really demoralizing. It does now make sense to me why he avoids alcohol and exercise, as they are both big triggers for most people who have rosacea.

  27. 27.

    JGabriel

    February 3, 2019 at 8:21 am

    Catherine Rampell via Anne Laurie @ Top:

    Trump’s perma-tan is the result of “good genes,” according to a senior administration official who would speak only on the condition of anonymity.

    Anonymity?

    Sure, whaever, I guess I’d be embarrassed to be the person ordered to say that out loud too.

  28. 28.

    Mousebumples

    February 3, 2019 at 8:38 am

    @Nicole: I also have rosacea but thankfully mine isn’t that bad. I was using 2 topicals in the months leading up to my wedding last fall but that was only because those pictures are ones I’ll look at regularly, for years. I stopped using both on my honeymoon. Stress is one of my big triggers, but I know everyone’s issues there can vary.

    (unrelated, in the world of fywp, the site auto filled my nym for my first comment but forgot who I was for this one…)

  29. 29.

    debbie

    February 3, 2019 at 8:40 am

    Trump’s got two interviews today. I cannot wait to hear his raging at the times for that article. “How could my newspaper do that to me???”

  30. 30.

    Just Chuck

    February 3, 2019 at 9:07 am

    @Nicole: He avoids alcohol because of his experiences with an alcoholic brother, and he avoids exercise because he’s insane. Hell, he’s probably lying about rosacea too.

  31. 31.

    Searcher

    February 3, 2019 at 9:28 am

    @JGabriel: Whenever I see an anonymous White House source, I just assume it’s John Barron.

  32. 32.

    Nicole

    February 3, 2019 at 9:37 am

    @Mousebumples: I’ve been dealing with mine for 20 years, but it’s never gone beyond stage 1- I get the flushing, but not the bumps. Unfortunately, rather than sticking to my cheeks, like in most women, it’s on my nose and chin. I recently tried Mirvaso, and it was a miracle wonder drug for 2 days and then I got the rebound flushing which was terrible. Ah well.

    I will say, I am a big fan of Paula’s Choice Calming Toner. I put off trying it for a long time because as a rosacea person, toner is generally a big no-go, but I have to admit, it does calm the redness, at least for a bit, and makes my skin feel nice. (I don’t work for the company or anything, this is purely me speaking for myself). Highly recommend, and not ridiculously expensive. I like all of their rosacea-aimed products.

    I wonder if the rosacea is also why Trump is SO orange- I can definitely now see the fake tan being a spray, not a tanning bed, since sunlight can also be a rosacea trigger. I can see him obsessing over it to the point where he doesn’t notice he’s turned himself tangerine colored, as long as it’s a uniform tangerine color.

  33. 33.

    Nicole

    February 3, 2019 at 9:40 am

    @Just Chuck: I know the reasons he’s given about alcohol and exercise, but because his vanity is one of the few things about him that is actually a constant, I am more inclined to believe it’s about that, especially where exercise is concerned.

  34. 34.

    Uncle Cosmo

    February 3, 2019 at 10:13 am

    The lamps are going down all through the Whiter-than-White House. We shall not see them raised again in the Orangemandias maladministration.

    (Sir Deadwood Roswell-Grey, Foreign-Body Secretary)

    It may be (barely) worth noting that as the Gaslighting of Murka is ongoing, 1600 Pennsyltucky Ave.u is undergoing the very activity the term is named for. Life imitates art, I guess…if you call that “living.”

  35. 35.

    Jager

    February 3, 2019 at 10:14 am

    Those “Good Genes” are only from the neck up?

  36. 36.

    chopper

    February 3, 2019 at 10:56 am

    @tybee:

    maybe he meant 300 kilos? he meant 300 kilos.

  37. 37.

    MobiusKlein

    February 3, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    @Nicole: You are not defending trump, but advocating good journalism.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Albatrossity - The Birds of May 3
Image by Albatrossity (7/31/25)

World Central Kitchen

Donate

Recent Comments

  • Kathleen on The Ongoing Texas Tragedies (Jul 12, 2025 @ 1:03pm)
  • Kathleen on The Ongoing Texas Tragedies (Jul 12, 2025 @ 1:02pm)
  • trollhattan on The Ongoing Texas Tragedies (Jul 12, 2025 @ 1:01pm)
  • Elizabelle on The Ongoing Texas Tragedies (Jul 12, 2025 @ 1:00pm)
  • Kathleen on The Ongoing Texas Tragedies (Jul 12, 2025 @ 12:58pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!