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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Early Reviews Open Thread: Super Bowl Not A Fave

Early Reviews Open Thread: Super Bowl Not A Fave

by Anne Laurie|  February 4, 20191:27 am| 41 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Sports, Clown Shoes, Riveted By The Sociological Significance Of It All

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"Are you ready for some football?"
Pats: "No."
Rams: "Not really."

— Franklin Harris (@FranklinH3000) February 4, 2019

From what I read on Twitter, this game seems to have been a multifaceted disappointment to a great many people. Including the football-phobic Spousal Unit, who is thinking of taking Tuesday as a sick day, so he won’t have to drive into Cambridge in the company of a great many non-commuters hoping to watch the ceremonial duck boat parade for the ‘winners’…

These teams are playing like they know whoever wins goes to the White House

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) February 4, 2019

US "super bowl" lacks excitement of more action-oriented sports, such as cricket and bridge.

— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) February 4, 2019

Remember this game when you start complaining how boring the #SOTU will be.

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) February 4, 2019

Andy Warhol in a Burger King Super Bowl commercial just convinced me there really is a hell

— AccomplishedTheHat (@Popehat) February 4, 2019

Omg you have no idea what this looks like on twitter from not America. All of America is drunk tweeting at once. It's amazing

— vanessa frank (@vanessafrank3) February 4, 2019

Theory: They made this halftime this bad in order for the game to look good by comparison.

— (((Harry Enten))) (@ForecasterEnten) February 4, 2019


I have some bad news for Adam Levine … he’s not getting buried in a Jewish cemetery

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) February 4, 2019

Man, he has a lot of sponsors. pic.twitter.com/1iixrQDFAF

— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) February 4, 2019

It takes quite a lot for me to find tattoos unattractive on a fit man but Adam Levine has broken a lot of records tonight boy that’s just another one.

— ana marie cox (@anamariecox) February 4, 2019

… And if it did it would still be polling higher than Howard Schultz

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) February 4, 2019

Holy shit pic.twitter.com/dKTnKFI6Y1

— Charles Radbourn, KCB (@OldHossRadbourn) February 4, 2019

Also, it was a nice counter-programming to see tech enabling humans in contrast to all the sentient robot ads. https://t.co/0hr3sqL1Jr

— Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) February 4, 2019

We're doing well on the McSweeney's bingo, though pic.twitter.com/7IkkG6lnOT

— Mr. Completely (@Mr_Completely) February 4, 2019

Best commercial so far! Well done A+ crossover ad.@budlight @GameofThrones #BudLight #ForTheThrone #SuperBowl #GameOfThronespic.twitter.com/9BlxJN7glS cc @TheRickWilson

— Jim Gill (@jimmygill) February 4, 2019

how is bud light currently producing more game of thrones content than george r.r. martin?

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) February 4, 2019

Cannot believe Belichick just told reporters "this one was for Whitey Bulger"

— Ike Barinholtz (@ikebarinholtz) February 4, 2019


.
At least you weren’t stuck watching this sporting competition…

Shorter Trump: I write good https://t.co/AqugxmloyI

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) February 4, 2019

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Reader Interactions

41Comments

  1. 1.

    Jerzy Russian

    February 4, 2019 at 1:40 am

    I figured that dude without a shirt must be a Russian, since Russian men have a well-known aversion to wearing shirts.

  2. 2.

    NotMax

    February 4, 2019 at 1:42 am

    Take it that’s a different Michael Cohen?

    ;)

  3. 3.

    NotMax

    February 4, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Not that I really care a fraction of a whit about football or the SB, but have said for more than 50 years it would turn out to be a more interesting game if the pay for the losing team was zero.

  4. 4.

    Amir Khalid

    February 4, 2019 at 1:52 am

    I have not seen the score. So, which team has to go to DC?

  5. 5.

    piratedan

    February 4, 2019 at 1:56 am

    actually enjoyed the Amazon ad….

  6. 6.

    NotMax

    February 4, 2019 at 1:56 am

    @Amir Khalid

    The obvious riposte:

    A visit with Dolt 45? The losing team, of course.

  7. 7.

    piratedan

    February 4, 2019 at 1:56 am

    @Amir Khalid: after that performance, both of them….

  8. 8.

    Mart

    February 4, 2019 at 1:57 am

    I enjoyed the great defense, halftime sucked (nobody will ever be better than Prince), and most of the ads were fair to poor. Halftime will be ranked with The Who, Coldplay, and Black Eyed Peas for suckatude. Plus being from STL although we loath the Pats, but fuck Stan Kroenkes Rams.

  9. 9.

    NotMax

    February 4, 2019 at 2:06 am

    From the reviews, were I a scalper who sold extravagantly jacked up in price tickets before the game, I’d beat feet outta town right quick.

  10. 10.

    sukabi

    February 4, 2019 at 2:26 am

    Anybody seen the sleezy Trump Tax Cut 211 ad on tv? You can buy a book on how to get the most out of the Trump tax cut.

    Fuckers can’t stop grifting.

  11. 11.

    Martin

    February 4, 2019 at 2:38 am

    @Amir Khalid: Patriots. 13-3.

    The game wasn’t bad. But it was kinda old-school in that it was very defense heavy. The last several SBs were TD-fests, and scoring points is generally more exciting than stuffing a runner. The players that were all hyped as being game changers didn’t really do much here.

    It was a very non-Patriots-like game, except for the result. Let’s be honest, the last 4 SBs were pretty damn exciting at the end – unusually so, and this one wasn’t.

  12. 12.

    hells littlest angel

    February 4, 2019 at 2:40 am

    Didn’t watch the game, but I guess if it’s getting zinged by the North Korean News Service, it must have been pretty dull.

  13. 13.

    ruemara

    February 4, 2019 at 2:57 am

    The game was sluggish but that’s because everyone was playing defense until the 4th quarter when they realized someone should take the ball & try to score. Halftime wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t great. But Maroon 5 really hit the whole fireworks & flame balls store. The audio mixing was awful. Vocals couldn’t be heard but the high hat came through loud and clear. I think these people are stuck on bitter bitch setting. Just shut up & take a modicum of joy out of something besides tearing other people’s efforts to shreds.

    I got nice video of the housemate making the cat dance to Maroon 5, so a good time was had by all.

  14. 14.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    February 4, 2019 at 3:11 am

    Super Bore

  15. 15.

    sheila in nc

    February 4, 2019 at 3:11 am

    I had zero and three in the final score pool (for last digits) so I was just about to win big until the Pats hit their field goal. That would have been the only redeeming feature of the night and it was yanked away from me.
    But I did like the commercial with all the former NFL players playing with the gold football and trashing the formal dinner.

  16. 16.

    smike

    February 4, 2019 at 3:14 am

    @ruemara:
    I kind of lost interest after the last two playoff games. It was the “Officals’ SB”, and they suck, so it was not good.

  17. 17.

    akryan

    February 4, 2019 at 3:35 am

    The people that complained just hate good defense. Both defenses were great. That last Brady to Gronk pass couldn’t have been defended any better. Under/Over coverage with both defenders within a yard of the diving Gronk. Brady had to put that pass in a shoe box on a 40 yard throw (30 yard reception), and Gronk still had to dive for it. It was just a really great play by two really great players. The job the Patriots defense did was just inspired. They were way better than they have been all year. I’m a defense fan, so I liked the game even though I didn’t have a dog in the fight. My team is the Bucs whose best season has (except for one year) always been next season.

  18. 18.

    2liberal

    February 4, 2019 at 3:40 am

    @hells littlest angel: FYI DPRK News Service @DPRK_News is a parody account

  19. 19.

    sukabi

    February 4, 2019 at 3:43 am

    Bad lip reading

  20. 20.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 4:11 am

    @hells littlest angel: The North Korean Twitter account is a spoof, a joke. They’ve been pretty funny at times, and have been picked up as “real news” but lazy/gullible journalists a couple of times.

  21. 21.

    Martin

    February 4, 2019 at 4:12 am

    @akryan: Considering that the Patriots went into the SB last year with barely any defense at all, this was quite a difference. I mean, Brady puts up over 500 and loses. Can’t really say the offense didn’t do their job.

    This year, the exact opposite. Gurley was supposed to have his big game – walked off with 34 yards.

    Part of what made the game seem dull is that there were no controversial calls by the refs, and no challenges. I mean, that’s the thing everyone claims to hate about every other game, and then when they get a game with no controversies everyone yawns.

  22. 22.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 4:13 am

    @ruemara: You have a video of your roommate getting the cat to dance? Can you share it?

  23. 23.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 4:20 am

    @Martin: There was a controversial call. Romo called out the refs for it and he was funny but he was annoyed that after the ref blew the whistle they had to have a conference to decide what the penalty was going to be for. They finally decided that the Rams had taken too long to start the play.

  24. 24.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 4:20 am

    @Amir Khalid: The Patriots.

  25. 25.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 4:28 am

    Holy cow! Northern Australia is experiencing terrible flooding.

    Crocodiles and Snakes Washing Up

  26. 26.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    February 4, 2019 at 4:40 am

    @opiejeanne: We’re a tad bit waterlogged here too.

  27. 27.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 5:30 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: I heard. I hope you’re not watching your grand piano being swept away as a reporter sticks a microphone in you face and asks you how you feel.

  28. 28.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 5:37 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Noticed a lot of people afraid of doing their taxes because people they know are getting hit really hard: no raise but while they got a refund last year, this year they owe a chunk of money.

    There was a sneaky fake tax break that appeared in early January because the deduction tables were changed. I noticed we had an extra $300 in our February paycheck and knew we hadn’t gotten a raise. We figured it out and called our CPA to fix the number of deductions we were taking so that it would cover that BS. Sleight of hand. I heard two guys crowing about having more money in their paycheck but I didn’t tell them to check that actual dollar amount being withheld. They were most likely MAGAs. Was that wrong of me?

  29. 29.

    J R in WV

    February 4, 2019 at 5:50 am

    @akryan:

    My team is the Bucs whose best season has (except for one year) always been next season.

    Who doesn’t love a football team with a pirate ship with real cannon, that comes flying out firing after a touchdown?

    Wasn’t their one great year when Tony Dungy coached them? I seem to recall that, but it could be because I just woke up to stoke the fire for the long night…

    NOt that bad a game, just the wrong team won, as far as I’m concerned. The Lost Rams shoulda had that, but Bill B seems to outcoach a lot of teams in the post-season. Dammit.

    Now time for “Back in Bed” ! G’night guys, see you in 4 hours or so…

  30. 30.

    BruceFromOhio

    February 4, 2019 at 7:01 am

    So glad I skipped this one. MrsFromOhio and I went to see Mary Poppins, and later I continued the Babylon 5 binge. Saw the final score and deleted the DVR recording without even glancing at it. SB, what SB?

  31. 31.

    West of the Rockies

    February 4, 2019 at 7:02 am

    I am sick of Bill B’s joyless visage, Brady’s toothy mug, and why the he’ll could no one cover #11, Gimli?

    Adam Levine is always so picky about other people’s vocals. Too bad William Hung was unavailable to help Adam on technique

    I wonder how many people under, say, 40 found perpetually-befuddled Andy Warhol stupefied by a burger at all compelling.

  32. 32.

    Butch

    February 4, 2019 at 7:02 am

    About midway through the third quarter I decided it was a good time to finish folding the laundry and didn’t see the end of the game.
    As far as the ads, I guess I’m just not clear on the appeal of Cardi B except as a sponsor for the eye shadow industry, and that melodramatic nonsense from Kia about its overpriced new SUV…….

  33. 33.

    BruceFromOhio

    February 4, 2019 at 7:02 am

    @opiejeanne: not your monkeys, not your circus. They’ll figure it out just like the rest of us.

  34. 34.

    PsiFighter37

    February 4, 2019 at 7:12 am

    Even more boring than the Carolina-Denver snoozefest from a few years back. Halftime…meh, Maroon 5 hasn’t been relevant since I was in college. I’m more pissed because I am now on the hook for 2 burgers to my former boss, who is as rabid a Pats fan as they come. Yuck.

  35. 35.

    Muck Jagger

    February 4, 2019 at 7:19 am

    See Dick.

    See Dick golf.

  36. 36.

    Tupelo Phoney

    February 4, 2019 at 7:56 am

    @opiejeanne:

    watching your grand piano being swept away as a reporter sticks a microphone in you face and asks you how you feel.

    Holly Hunter was great in that scene, she did her own stunts. …Or was that New Zealand?

  37. 37.

    debit

    February 4, 2019 at 9:08 am

    @sukabi: A solid 8 minutes of hilarity. Thanks!

  38. 38.

    Citizen Alan

    February 4, 2019 at 9:34 am

    @Mart:

    The BEP halftime was so bad it circled back around to awesome. “It was so bad a sort of grandeur creeps into,” as H.L. Mencken said of a Harding speech. The most amazing thing to me about BEP was that as much as I hate the group, I did not realize until that halftime show how many songs there were that I hated without realizing they were BEP songs.

  39. 39.

    The Midnight Lurker

    February 4, 2019 at 11:00 am

    I lost interest in professional sports decades ago. But a lot of my friends and family are rabid fans. The results of my completely random, unscientific polling of the above:

    97% = meh.
    2% = Go Rams!
    1% = I hope the Pats win, but t’s really just a reason to get drunk.

  40. 40.

    opiejeanne

    February 4, 2019 at 11:22 am

    @Tupelo Phoney: That was Los Angeles sometime in the 1960s, probably Malibu Canyon.

  41. 41.

    dopey-o

    February 4, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    @Mart:

    Plus, being from St. Louis we hate the Rams.

    Brown & Croupon, locally prominent ambulance chasers, ran an anti-Kronke ad. It ran locally, however, denying the rest of America the pleasure.

    Please enjoy!

    It is to laugh.

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