Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

Republicans in disarray!

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

The real work of an opposition party is to oppose.

We are learning that “working class” means “white” for way too many people.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

Everybody saw this coming.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

Consistently wrong since 2002

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

I don’t recall signing up for living in a dystopian sci-fi novel.

Fear and negativity are contagious, but so is courage!

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

You are here: Home / Thoughts for Dad

Thoughts for Dad

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Dad has had a rough couple of weeks. As you know, they snowbird down in South Carolina, and a couple weeks ago he had a knee replacement (last year, he had the other knee done). It’s just so much easier to have it done down there- the hospital is closer, the weather is nicer, the rehab people come directly to his house, etc. At any rate, everything was fine until last weekend, when dad was reaching to turn off a ceiling fan and fell, ripped his stitches out, and had to go back to the hospital.

On Monday, he had another surgery to fix something he had messed up, sewed him back up, and then kept him until yesterday. They normally let him go the day after, but since he had opened the wound at home and it had been open for several days rather than being open and closed in a surgical setting like the first one, they were super aggressive regarding potential infections and kept him for several days on liquids and antibiotics. They let him come home yesterday, and then last night while trying to sleep he kept gasping for air.

Back to the hospital, worried he had pneumonia, but his heart enzymes were off so they did a heart cath, and lo and behold he has a blockage so he is having a bypass surgery tomorrow. He and mom normally hate it when I talk about them on the website (“YOU ALWAYS EXAGGERATE AND GET THINGS WRONG” and “WHY ARE YOU SO PROFANE I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THAT”), but you know what, fuck him. You guys did miracles with Lily so I’m asking you all to send some positive vibes.

You can yell at me when you feel better, dad.

Reader Interactions

138Comments

  1. 1.

    donnah

    Sending love and positive thoughts. I hate when one bad thing leads to another and it all seems to gang up at once. I hope he weathers this storm and is on the road to recovery.

    Be strong! Be well!

  6. 6.

    MomSense

    Sending healthy healing vibes to your dad – and a hug to your mom. Please tell her to make sure not to neglect her own care.

  8. 8.

    Sandlapper

    Hoping for all the best for your Dad and, while I’m at it, always happy to see new pics of Miss Lily and continue to think good thoughts for her.

  9. 9.

    White & Gold Purgatorian

    Oh, gosh! Best thoughts for your dad. Rotten luck he has a blockage but great they found it and are dealing with it. Hoping the third hospital stay will be the charm for him.

  10. 10.

    MazeDancer

    The two most oustanding areas of Western Medicine are ortho and heart. Because they’re structural. And can be fixed by surgery. They are well-researched. And highly competitive, so all the docs read and keep up and go to the conventions to hear the latest.

    This means they’ll figure out what needs to be done for your father and they’ll make it happen.

    Sending many healing beams to your Dad.

  12. 12.

    satby

    Might have been a blessing in disguise that they caught the blockage before he had a heart attack. Bypasses can work miracles, so here’s all the best wishes for a full and quick recovery to Dad Cole!

  13. 13.

    Lyrebird

    Good thoughts incoming!

    And since I can’t send soup, have some unsolicited advice: the Heart Attack Proof book, Dean Ornish’s stuff, and anything by dad or son Esselstyn all contain well-tested stuff about interventions that help people not have second heart attacks. Yes it means eating like Bill Clinton or worse yet Tom Brady, but if it works…

  20. 20.

    kindness

    Sending energy to John’s Dad. I know what it’s like to rip stitches out. Hoping for a quick recovery.

  24. 24.

    J R in WV

    Reminds me of RBG’s fall and broken ribs, which led to the very early discovery of her lung cancer and subsequent successful treatment. Tell your dad to do what the PT folks tell him to do, both for his knee and for his heart issues. Use that walker they gave him!!

    Sending many of the best thoughts for successful treatment for all Dad Cole’s issues tomorrow and on going. You take care too, John G!!

  26. 26.

    Mike J

    Sending good thoughts. Been through all of this with my parents. My dad had his knee done in October, fell two weeks ago. Thank goodness it was far enough along that it was mostly healed already and no permanent damage was done.

    Mom had a aortic valve replacement and a CABG year before last. Nice to have the therapy people come to the house instead of having to go out.

    Both of them have recovered from their ailments, at least as well as folks in their 70s will. Hope the same for your dad.

  27. 27.

    David Hunt

    To the elder Mr. Cole,

    Even though I consider John to be partially your fault, I still think well of him you have my best hopes. Also, anyone that an make Rosie into a lovie dovie has got to be someone special.

    But seriously, we all think well of John, regardless/because of how foul-mouthed he is. Thanks for your part in that. I hope for the best for you.

  30. 30.

    Ann Marie

    I’m sorry your father is dealing with this. Sending good thoughts to him and all your family.

  31. 31.

    jacy

    Sending all the good thoughts to your dad (and the rest of your family). The positive thing is they caught it before it became critical — my mom had the same thing about six years and after her surgery she felt so much better. Please keep us updated, even if your mom yells at you.

  33. 33.

    oldster

    I’m wishing good luck to you and your dad.

    And I know he is going to be drowning in therapy-dogs and therapy-cats when he needs them. Just put Steve in one armpit and Lily in the other, and he’ll be better in no time.

  35. 35.

    Another Scott

    Hoping for a quick and full recovery for ColeDad. Hang in there JC and all the Coles.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  39. 39.

    Haroldo

    Oh, so many years ago my dad went through all this. While certainly not a piece of cake, remarkably commonplace.

    A full recovery for Mr. Cole!

  40. 40.

    Lapassionara

    The good news is that SC has some excellent hospitals. Sending very positive thoughts his way.

  41. 41.

    Ohio Mom

    Good wishes and positive vibes on their way from southwest Ohio for a speedy and complete recovery for Dad Cole.

    Good thoughts for Mom Cole too — it’s hard work being the caregiver — and also for John. It’s nerve wracking to be so far away during these sorts of family emergencies.

  43. 43.

    Anne Laurie

    Praying for the best possible outcome for Cole Senior.

    Thoughts & prayers for Mrs. Cole, who has to put up with him, not to mention her profane son who always gets the details wrong. (Seriously, Cole, keep an eye on your mom!)

    Repressing extended comments on the degree to which being willfully stubborn and/or accident-prone is hereditary…

  45. 45.

    mainsailset

    What I learned years ago is that it’s a great thing when the docs tell you whatever ails you is fixable! I’m thinking that if stuff has to happen it’s probably a whole lot better that he’s getting all his stuff fixed at the same time and is already in the care of a great team in a great hospital.

    Looking forward to your dad giving you hell next week when he’s on the other side of the surgery and feeling much better. Best vibes I can must be sent his way!

  47. 47.

    banditqueen

    OK Daddy Cole, gather up the family and friend love that’s all around you, let everyone spoil you because they really want to spoil you–you’ll make them happy, and get better soon so you can keep that son of yours in line (you know you raised him right!).

  49. 49.

    Jane Helms

    Sending everything I got to the man who helped to raise Lily’s father. Standing by for good news.

  52. 52.

    Nicole

    Sending your dad good thoughts. Mine died suddenly in his sleep at 69, so I’ll second those who say finding the blockage was a blessing in disguise. May surgery be smooth and recovery smoother.

  54. 54.

    Doug R

    My dad had a bad infection in his leg that his doctor was in no hurry to deal with. Ended up losing his leg. This happened in his 80s, his life was not the same after that.
    So it’s good they’re being so aggressive with your dad. Hope he has good insurance.

  55. 55.

    CapnMubbers

    Best wishes and good thoughts for Cole Dad, your mom, and all the family. As others have said, the outlook is excellent for full recovery from both knee and blockage repair—may it be speedy and without incident.

  56. 56.

    dexwood

    Strength and comfort to the Cole family. Honestly, Mr. and Mrs. Cole, we know you did your best with John.

  57. 57.

    tobie

    All good wishes to your father for a successful operation and a swift recovery. I hope in a week’s time he will be yelling at you, Cole, for this post. It will be music to your and your family’s ears. Good luck to all of you tomorrow and in the days ahead.

  58. 58.

    trollhattan

    Your dad’s so good at fixing houses and things he should be up to the task of fixing himself. Okay, that sounds wrong, make that putting his energy into healing while trusting the Experts to fix him. (Certain folks of a certain age not trusting anybody to do anything for them.)

    My best wishes for a successful procedure and speedy and complete recovery for Dad. We’re pulling for you all!

  59. 59.

    Quaker in a Basement

    Apparently you get your luck from his side of the family.

    Listen to your nurses, Dad Cole, and get well quickly.

  60. 60.

    Skyweaver

    I’m so sorry, John. All my best thoughts for your dad and your mom and you. I hope it al comes out well.

    I did have to tell you it’s been a draining week and “but you know what, fuck him” is my first belly laugh of the weekend. Just wanted to say thanks for that

  61. 61.

    geg6

    All the good vibes I have and all I was sent earlier this week for my John from Jackals that weren’t used up with his health issue are headed your dad’s way, Cole. The Jackaltariat does wonders.

  62. 62.

    Leto

    Sending all the positive thoughts and well wishes I can. If he’s in the Charleston area, I still have a ton of family/friends there, so if they need anything please let me know. A ride? Someone else to cook a meal? Just some nice people to talk to? Speedy recovery Mr. Cole!

  65. 65.

    Mel

    Sending good mojo to your Dad and to your Mom and to you. I’m so very sorry that your Dad is going through this, and the cats and I will be thinking about you guys and sending you all hugs this week, but especially holding your Dad in the light tomorrow. Please tell him that there are so many people here sending him love.

    As hard as it is for the person who is sick, it’s hard for the people who love them as well. So you and Mom Cole take extra good care of yourselves this week, okay?

    Thank goodness they found the blockage now. It’s not often that scary health issues have a silver lining, but maybe finding out about the blockage sooner rather than later is one. My Dad was hospitalized for a painful but non-life threatening case of pancreatitis about 10 years ago. His doctor ordered an abdominal CT just to make sure that there was no obstruction contributing to the problem, and lo and behold: the CT revealed a large aortic aneurysm. Completely unrelated to the pancreatitis, but as the vascular surgeon said, “ready to blow at any moment”. A stent was put in, and he gets an ultrasound once a year just to make sure all is well with the stent. The pancreatitis, as miserable as it was, probably saved his life.

  67. 67.

    Ninedragonspot

    Send your Dad and the whole family healing thoughts. I am coming around to the view that we all should injure ourselves periodically just to make sure there’s nothing seriously wrong with us.

  74. 74.

    Mandarama

    All my best to your family, John Cole. So glad they caught that blockage. Lots of pet therapy will help!

  79. 79.

    laura

    Sending a Station wagon of well wishes! Enough for the entire family.
    Echo the sentiments to keep an eye on your mom. Caregivers bear the brunt of what ails us.

  86. 86.

    JanieM

    Adding to the pile of healing energy with hopes for a quick recovery for Dad Cole, and lots of good thoughts for Mama, too.

  87. 87.

    Mary G

    So sorry to read this; sounds very scary. I will pray for him and send light and all the other things, as well as for you, your mother, and your brother and sisters.

  89. 89.

    J.

    Thoughts and prayers? Hope your dad has an easy surgery and recovers quickly. Old age sucks. But at least he has you to yell at.

  92. 92.

    maura

    um silver lining? without the 2nd injury he would not have found the blockage and may have just died in his sleep or any time. that blockage didn’t happen overnight

  93. 93.

    Skepticat

    What’s the old saw about silver livings? Helluva way to find a problem (much like RBG), but it’s good that they seem to have found it in time. Sending strong healing vibes, positive thoughts, and some suspicion that being a tad clumsy runs in the family (as it does in mine). Please keep us apprised when you can, and use some colorful language on your mother for us.

  95. 95.

    Mai Naem mobile

    Best of luck to your dad. When my mom had her knee done one of the docs said it changes your fluid load around and affects your heart. Don’t be surprised if your dad has some depression after the bypass. It’s not uncommon.

  102. 102.

    dww44

    Best wishes and good healing to Daddy Cole and to your Mom! My brother had knee replacement almost 10 months ago and thought he would have done the 2nd by now but recovery from the first has been slow and therapy somewhat painful. Now it seems he might need a hip replacement first.
    Your Dad and my brother are probably close in age, given how old you and brother’s kids are.

  106. 106.

    Miss Bianca

    Oh, JC, all best wishes for your dad. And while we’re at it, you and the rest of your family.

  110. 110.

    Cermet

    Been there – done that: five way by-pass. While I’ll wish him only the best I have little doubt all will turn out well.

  112. 112.

    prostratedragon

    It is nice when it’s something that can be fixed instead of just ‘managed [blech].’ Best wishes to Mr. Cole and the whole family.

  113. 113.

    felonious

    Lost my dad while in Iraq. Long story. John, my advice is to pony up, get everything you can possibly think of to say and then say those things. All of them, as much as you/he can stand. Say them. Force it out. It means a lot when you’re the last one standing and I, presume, it means a lot to the one looking at the precipice. Sending positive thoughts…

  117. 117.

    Ella in New Mexico

    Blessings and warm wishes to your Dad. No matter how his surgery is done (traditional open heart vs. the newer less invasive techniques”) it is definitely a major thing, but generally hospitals and doctors/support staff have the entire process, from pre-post op- down to a frigging science with all our protocols and procedures to keep any bad stuff from happening. Most do hundreds over and over during the course of their careers and because of that they’re usually damn good.

    Good cardio-thoracic surgeons demand a lot from their ICU nursing staff and their NP’s/PA’s who round on the patients afterwards. Some can be downright prima donnas but for a really good reason–any significant complications or deaths are really bad for their reputations and their insurance rates. And to be honest, we ICU nurses take a great deal of care to make sure we watch our post-op’s like a damn hawk, cuz, well, we love them. And even though we take these big surgeries super seriously, we also LOVE these complicated recovery periods with all the drips and the vent and the chest tubes and labs we do–it’s fun as hell.

    He’ll be well cared for and he could even have very little serious pain afterwards–I’ve had 80 year-olds refuse morphine for the entire post op period. We get most of our patients up out of bed and walking the unit twice the first post op day.

    I’m sure it will but sending lots of positive wishes that all goes well, John.

  118. 118.

    Svensker

    Sending all the best to Cole’s dad. Long may you wave! Holding the whole family in the Light.

  119. 119.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    Sending best wishes along with the rest. I can add to the other anecdotes: someone I know went in for a medical procedure which required a thorough checkup for any other possible conditions. During this checkup, the hospital found her cough was due to incipient lung cancer, which she never planned to have checked because she never smoked (she figured she was coughing due to acid reflux or something similar).

    And then it turned out she has a type of lung cancer that comes from an EGFR mutation in people who don’t smoke that now has new drug that turns it into a chronic condition which does not need to be treated with chemo. If she had waited until her cancer produced symptoms because it had spread to other organs, her story would have had a very different ending, but the hospital stay caught it early enough. So take heart.

  120. 120.

    CaseyL

    Oh, we love Daddy Cole. You’ve immortalized him with your stories and videos. My fave is still the one where he discovers how fast Jack Russells can trash a previously-neat living room.

    Wishing him all the best.

  122. 122.

    stinger

    Best wishes to Mr. Cole Senior! One of my favorite BJ pet pics is the one of your dad nose-to-nose with Rosie — I think you call him the Rosie Whisperer. Every girl needs an older man in her life, and he is clearly hers!

    If he likes to get snail mail, please post the appropriate address.

  123. 123.

    wenchacha

    Best wishes for your dad, John Cole. Docs can do some great things these days. I wish your dad an enjoyable rehab!

  125. 125.

    Sandia Blanca

    Shouldn’t it say “Old man yells at old man who yells at clouds”?

    Mr. Blanca and I are praying for you, your Dad, and especially your Mom to get through this with minimal discomfort.

  128. 128.

    Matt Smith

    Cole, wishing your dad a full and speedy recovery. And also wishing he starts taking pride in your profanity. If my kid was a fuckin pottymouth, I’d be proud as hell. I’d want it on a bumper sticker.

  130. 130.

    Aleta

    Sending all positive thoughts to your dad and his medical staff. Best wishes to your mom and you and sibs.

    Unexpected bypass (+ discovery of the need) has proved a new age medical miracle to my family members, w/ years of increased energy. Hope you and your family can get a bit of rest now. Take care.

  131. 131.

    Aleta

    @Chacal Charles Calthrop: comes from EGFR mutation in people who don’t smoke that now has new drug that turns it into a chronic condition which does not need to be treated with chemo

    That’s amazing. I lost two young nonsmoker friends to that in the 90s.

  133. 133.

    WaterGirl

    Oh geez, I took yesterday off from the blog and I woke up to this news. Dad Cole, we’re with you. Good thing you are feisty like your son — that will stand you in good stead.

  134. 134.

    suezboo

    Lots of woo-filled good wishes to Old Man Cole. And to Mom, John and the rest of the family. Good vibes, good luck.

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