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SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Stay strong, because they are weak.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

We will not go back.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

The “burn-it-down” people are good with that until they become part of the kindling.

The only way through is to slog through the muck one step at at time.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

A tremendous foreign policy asset… to all of our adversaries.

Radicalized white males who support Trump are pitching a tent in the abyss.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

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The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Cohen Testimony Open Thread: Breakout ‘Stars’

Cohen Testimony Open Thread: Breakout ‘Stars’

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I’m putting together a tweet-narrative on some of the GOP sideshow artistes who particularly beclowned themselves today, but first, strong supporting character noms for two of today’s partipants.

Steve Lynch (D-Southie) has not always endeared himself to the rest of us Masshole Dems, but he deserves credit for this:


Who is Jody Hice?


 
On the opposite end of the vertebrate spectrum, do *not* overlook Clay Higgins:

Moron, or miscreant? Why not both?

Reader Interactions

102Comments

  2. 2.

    Jerzy Russian

    Clay Higgens sounds like an asshole.

    If Steve Lynch told me to set my hair on fire, I would gladly do it. We need more people like him in Congress.

  3. 3.

    ola azul

    My headline:

    Trump Hobbled by Kompromat, Russian asset, Lies B/c Guilty according to Cohen

    Amid alla ancillary events of the day, seems to me *the* biggest bomb that droppt that I haven’t seen folks remark upon much less get livid over yet is:

    The moment when Cohen related he heard Don Jr. (sotto voce but distinctly heard) remark to Individual-1 about what Cohen took to be an exchange confirming the scheduled Hillary dirt meeting in June of ’16, following by Trump’s satisfied approval.

    Upshot: Trump pere *knew in advance* about the Russian attack/conspiracy that was in the hopper cuz Trump fils fucking well told him. This is, of course, completely unsurprising (I would be unsurprised if it turns out Twitler actually attended the meeting in person or by phone), but, once proven, that incriminating fact reveals the Russian-asset game Trump is playing right there. Prove it and remove this disgrace.

    (E.g. Historical analogy: John Dean’s testimony re: Watergate and Nixon’s involvement wasn’t corroborated at the time he gave it either, but it was soon after. Cohen offered in hearings today that he could not corroborate the knowledge of Trump Sr.’s involvement independently apart from his personal testimony but said special counsel and other investigative bodies likely could.)

    Am I missing something here? Can’t understand why this isn’t a toplne takeaway.

    (Course, I’ma guy who heard Trump admit to obstruction of justice to Lester Holt and millions of people on TV, then confirm it beyond all doubt the next day with Kislyak and Lavrov, so maybe what seems obvious to me ain’t shared by all.)

  4. 4.

    NotMax

    The congresswoman from West Virginia succeeded in giving hand puppets a bad name. Total tool, and blatantly obvious about being so.

  5. 5.

    SRW1

    Didn’t some dude say: “Remember, when they send their people to Congress, they’re not sending their best.”

  7. 7.

    lamh36

    ooh before i go off to bed and y’all get started on the repubs…had to share this…

    the cutest thing you’ll see all day!‬

    ‪babies laughs are infectious!!‬

    ‪https://twitter.com/thatshowitbdoe/status/1100107791027429376?s=21‬

  8. 8.

    A Ghost To Most

    I particularly liked “Why didn’t you surrender the documents returned to you after they were seized? “(Twice!)

  11. 11.

    PVDMichael

    Higgins is the miscreant who thought a Holocaust gas chamber would be a great place to record a selfie video to post on his feed.

  13. 13.

    Jeffro

    I have to say, the Dems on this committee really did themselves proud and brought ALL the receipts today, wow! Simply unbelievable.

    Your move trumpublicans…ride this thing all the way in or get out now, there is no going back…

  14. 14.

    tobie

    Ay caramba! I was busy at work today from 10 am to 10 pm so missed the entire hearing. Am trying to catch up on the fireworks now.

  15. 15.

    JWR

    Clay Higgins: “I never heard about you before today.”

    To be fair, and factual, he then “corrected” himself by saying that he’d actually heard of Cohen before today, but only because of the FBI raid on Cohen’s office. So IOW, yeah, he’s a f*cking liar (liar pants on fire).

  16. 16.

    lamh36

    uh huh…now he groveling…guess possibly being disbarred will do that to you??

    I’ve personally apologized to @MichaelCohen212 4 referencing his private family in the public square. Regardless of disagreements, family members should be off-limits from attacks from representatives, senators & presidents, including myself. Let’s leave the Cohen family alone.

    twitter.com/mattgaetz/status/1100943221390225408?s=21

  19. 19.

    WaterGirl

    @lamh36: He is channeling my beloved cocker spaniel from decades past: “I’m not sorry I got into the garbage, but I am sorry that I’m getting in trouble for it.”

  20. 20.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    @A Ghost To Most:
    Why the fuck would Cohen “surrender the documents” after they were seized? Like, what would be the point? Investigators seized them and went through them with a fine-toothed comb already.

    We’re not sending our best to Congress

  23. 23.

    tobie

    @JWR: I’m getting a vicarious thrill hearing about it after the fact. It must have been fun in real time. Glad Dems did themselves proud.

  24. 24.

    lgerard

    Jordan points out that Cohen worked for Trump, a man he now calls a racist lying conman etc., for “10 years.” Jordan points out he never got a White House job. He suggests that’s what is motivating Cohen’s turn – that he didn’t “get brought to the dance.”

    A salient point from a man who worked with a known sexual predator for numerous years and then didn’t get the chief of staff job he campaigned in the press for so slavishly.

  25. 25.

    WaterGirl

    @JWR: While watching the Republicans make a spectacle of themselves today, I found myself today wondering if the Dems behaved that badly during hearings we were in the minority, and hoping to god that we did not. Surely not.

    I especially liked the Republican who was able to size up Michael Cohen, in just a few short seconds today, and know in his heart of hearts that even if Cohen might seem sincere in that moment — and might even be truly regretful in that moment– he would immediately shake that off once he gets out of prison and go back to being a scoundrel.

    It must be awesome to be able to see right through to someone’s soul and know them so well that you can foresee their future.

  27. 27.

    ola azul

    @sgrAstar:

    Thanks. Very kind. Ya, still flying the freak flag “In my own particular idiom,” as Launcelot once bade farewell to fair Concorde.

  34. 34.

    dr. bloor

    @Adam L Silverman: I’m generally suffering from AOC overload, but that was impressive and great to watch. Now, let’s see if she can get her CoS to stop trash-talking the folks on his own team…

  36. 36.

    Jeffro

    @Adam L Silverman: @plato: Not to take anything away from her at all (in fact, to pay her a compliment): for these kinds of hearings/committee work, she has been coached and has also shown real talent, poise, patience. Multiple times now. I could almost hear knives flashing in the background.

    Bring it at your peril, GOP enablers.

  39. 39.

    WaterGirl

    @dr. bloor: She was something else. Truly one of a kind. I think her proudest day was the one where she didn’t have to stoop to stealing food from the garbage. She figured out how to open the door to the fridge (cue duct tape on the fridge, forever forward).

    She managed to steal and eat 3 chicken breasts, bone and all, rice, and 3/4 of a chocolate cream pie. She apparently did not care for my homemade pie crust, as she licked all the chocolate and left the crust. Bones in chicken breasts are quite dangerous, as is the chocolate. Still it was her proudest moment, and she lived to be 16.

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    @plato: 5 minutes. They each got 5 minutes.

    Compare her performance with the idiot who said he had never even heard of Cohen until today and never felt the need to do his homework before the hearing. Definitely not sending their best.

  43. 43.

    Adam L Silverman

    @plato: She’s very good in committee. It gives me hope she will mature into the excellent legislator she clearly can be.

  44. 44.

    The Dangerman

    Holy Heil, what’s up with Trump’s hair?

    I suppose looking younger for Kim and 2020 isn’t a bad idea (if we learn he also went for the penile enlargement, that would be).

  45. 45.

    zhena gogolia

    @tobie:

    I was working all day so didn’t get the full monty, but I have to admit that when I had a chance to take a peek during lunch, it was unwatchable due to Repugs.

  47. 47.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Jeffro: Exactly. If they’re not going to go back to letting the majority and minority committee counsels do the questioning for the first few rounds – 30 minutes on and off – then what she does is the way to go.

  48. 48.

    JWR

    @WaterGirl:

    I found myself today wondering if the Dems behaved that badly during hearings we were in the minority,

    No, I don’t remember having that impression of the Dems, especially over these last few years. I think it was more the R’s just being R’s that kept Dems frustrated. And…

    It must be awesome to be able to see right through to someone’s soul and know them so well that you can foresee their future.

    That was pretty much what I was thinking. (Or something along those general lines.) I’m sure a lot of people thought that as well, because it was just so damn obvious.

  50. 50.

    RandomMonster

    I only had a couple hslf hour meetings to get in the way of an otherwise enjoyable day of listening to the proceedings.

  51. 51.

    joel hanes

    @WaterGirl:

    wondering if the Dems behaved that badly during hearings we were in the minority

    No and no and no.
    Never, and when I say “never”, I mean almost never.

  53. 53.

    ola azul

    @ola azul:

    Well, now. Lawrence O’Donnell just did a segment on Cohen’s testimony that Jr. told Trump Sr. about Russian fuckery and Trump gladly assented. In segment, Rep.Swallwell (rather cautiously) commented onnit. Played clips from testimony.

    I guess there’re so many fires to put out, maybe this particular dumpster-fire slippt thru the cracks. Listened to Hayes and Maddow, read Betty’s and John’s thread comments, didn’t read anyone comment on this. Weird.

    O’Donnell is the first I’ve heard/read *anyone* comment on this. (Sorta glad, he did cuz was feeling a little like I imagined it.) Am I missing something?

    This witting-willing-eager-Russian-asset seems purty fucking huge to me.

  54. 54.

    Dan B

    @Leto: Glad to hear you had a good visit with your therapist / inquisitor. And still felt like getting lunch with your sweetie.

  55. 55.

    Jeffro

    Btw George Conway just asked on Twitter “so is the check lying?” and the responses are EPIC. Also, hysterical. We might have to find this guy a second career (assuming he has a first career).

    Plz go check it out ;)

  57. 57.

    Jeffro

    @ola azul: I’m confused…I thought it was generally understood that not only did trumpov generally, gleefully, appreciate that Russia was trying to help him get elected, but that there was plenty of evidence the whole campaign knew this as well.

    Full stop right there. Not one of them contacted the FBI, despite the fact that the campaign had been warned about Russian attempts to infiltrate the campaign and/or influence the election. That should be the whole ballgame, in any normal timeline.

  58. 58.

    Adam L Silverman

    @WaterGirl: She got Cohen to implicate the President in one instance of insurance fraud and two instances of tax fraud in under five minutes.

  59. 59.

    Jeffro

    @lgerard: then it’s likely true…he has been a RR/RWNJ/TP nut job for quite some time, he just puts a chuckle-a-licious face on it all and keeps on chugging. How else could he work for trumpov in multiple roles and keep defending the nonsense?

  64. 64.

    Dan B

    @ola azul: There were so many revelations today, at least revelations spoken out loud by Cohen who did not seem to be lying or being at all shifty. Us human animals are usually very good at recognizing when someone is lying in context. We do poorly when the context is at some remove – see storyline: charlatan comes to town / 76 Trombones / western with out of town con artist named Trump.

    I’m waiting for the Mueller report that says Jr. set up Russian email con. By then we’re likely to have to remind “the media” that Cohen witnessed Jr. reporting the con to big daddy.

    Reminds me that every media piece I ever got placed had many errors. It’s the media stupid! Just reverse a couple words.

  66. 66.

    joel hanes

    Promoted from end of the previous thread because we need some pride and optimism:
    —
    @Ohio Mom:

    Beto

    I think this is Beto’s practice run, not really even a dress rehearsal.

    It’s a big organizing task. He’s sizing it, and finding out he’s got things to learn.

    Next time. He’s got the moxie.
    And so do Nadler and Cummings AOC and Pressley and Schiff and Lieu and a new host of comers.
    Nancy SMASH has deployed her committee members and chairs with strategic brilliance and malice aforethought — a political thing of beauty. I’ve had my gripes with her, but I’m crushing on her this year.

    I haven’t felt this good about the Democratic Party since forever.

    However, Seth Moulton can, in John Cole’s formulation, eat a bag of salted dicks.

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @ola azul: Several people did in other fora. Basically Cohen explained that Jr was willing to break the law in an attempt to get his father’s attention and favor and that his father would never give it to Jr because he thinks Jr is a stupid schlub.

  68. 68.

    ola azul

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Thank you kindly. Still poleaxed by boatwork, but can sense the ola azul in the not too far offing.

    Been bizzy writing proposal for Board of Fisheries meeting, position paper for our gear group re: Salmon Treaty, attending meetings, herding cats, attempting to perform ad-hoc spine implants on upright ambulatory jello-molds. Fish-politics. Dear friend drafted me into the fray once again, always a pleasure to work with her. She ain’t formally educated (which I don’t care about yea or nay), but she’s smart as fuck, gotta splendid bullshit-detector, and is one of the most resourceful peeps I know. (Commercial fisht for 35-plus years.) Tells a great story. Shit, grit and mother wit in abundant glory.

    You? (Tx. for your posts btw, since you’re here. Good insights, always learn stuff.)

  72. 72.

    Kay

    Jesse Eisinger
    ‏Verified account
    @eisingerj
    3h3 hours ago
    More
    Take home message from today: Imagine a world where white-collar crime, bank fraud, accounting fraud, and tax fraud were properly investigated & prosecuted. That’s a world where “President Trump” is an impossibility

    Had we…locked ’em up when the first crimes were committed Trump wouldn’t be President and no one would know who Michael Cohen is, other than his probation officer. They shouldn’t even be out on the street let alone running the country.

  75. 75.

    Kay

    Rick Hasen
    ‏Verified account
    @rickhasen
    Follow Follow @rickhasen
    More
    Would anything stop New York State from indicting a sitting president for tax fraud and financial fraud via a foundation if there’s strong evidence? Anything stopping SDNY from sharing info with NYS?

    Good question! He’s so smart, Rick Hasen. States rights, Republicans. Don’t tread on me.

  78. 78.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    Jeet Heer @ HeerJeet
    The sad personal story here is that Don Jr. might have committed crimes as a way to get close to his distant dad.

    and what makes it funny, is that when Junior told Daddy about his big boy plan to collude with Putin, Daddy said, “Bring Jared to that meeting.” At least he left the “cause you’ll fuck it up” unspoken.

    Brian Beutler @ brianbeutler
    ?We can collude together then?

    I have too much to do to attempt to rewrite all of “The Cat’s In The Cradle”, but I’m afraid my brain won’t go anywhere else.

  79. 79.

    plato

    @Kay: Yup, utter failure of whole raft of ‘institutions’ who were supposed to be the ‘checks & balances’ thingy.

  80. 80.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Kay: No and no. Neither NY or any other state, nor NY City nor any other municipality are not bound by the DOJ’s Office of Legal Counsel’s guidance memo from 1973. The Constitution is silent on this. And we have examples, for instance the arrest of President Grant for joyriding on his horse around DC during his presidency, of president’s being arrested and charged while still in office by local authorities.

  82. 82.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Kay: @Adam L Silverman: I can’t imagine Letitia James will hesitate for a split second to indict trump is she finds reason to. And the DC Atty Gen’l (I did not know this office existed) has waded into the inquiries around the inauguration

    D.C. Attorney General Karl A. Racine (D) has subpoenaed documents from President Trump’s inaugural committee, the latest of several requests from federal and state authorities probing how money was raised and spent for the January 2017 gala.
    The subpoena, issued Tuesday, requests documents related to committee payments to the Trump Organization or Trump International Hotel, according to two law enforcement officials familiar with the matter. It states that Racine is seeking the documents under his civil authority to ensure that nonprofit groups in the District are not “wasteful, mismanaged and/or improperly provided private benefit.”

  87. 87.

    Jay

    “On behalf of the many members here who have expressed to your family our apologies to your family. I want to apologize for the inappropriate comments and tweets that have been made by other members of this body, and as a former prosecutor and as former counsel on House ethics, I think at the very least, there should be a referral to the Ethics Committee of witness intimidation and tampering under U.S.C. 1512 of my colleague, Matt Gaetz and maybe, possibly him being referred to a criminal prosecution, so I want to put that on the record.”

    Rep. Stacy Plaskett, D. Puerto Rico, in the hearings today, while Gaetz was slinking around the hall.

  91. 91.

    trnc

    @Adam L Silverman:

    She got Cohen to implicate the President in one instance of insurance fraud and two instances of tax fraud in under five minutes.

    Well, yeah, but that was the whole reason he was there. It isn’t like she had to drag it out of him.

  93. 93.

    trnc

    @Dan B:

    There were so many revelations today, at least revelations spoken out loud by Cohen who did not seem to be lying or being at all shifty.

    I would think that awaiting a prison term for lying to congress would make one hesitant to lie to congress again.

  94. 94.

    Jay

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Since her election, Saikat Chakrabarti has only used his public comments to boost AOC, the GND and slag the Wingers.

    He hasn’t said one word, aside from praise, for the rest of the Democratic Party.

    Ratfucking smears are not limited to the Russians, Bernie Bro’s and the right side of the aisle.

    Some of the hysterical calls about “socialism!!!!!!!!!” are coming from inside the house.

  95. 95.

    ola azul

    @Jeffro:

    I’m confused…I thought it was generally understood that not only did trumpov generally, gleefully, appreciate that Russia was trying to help him get elected, but that there was plenty of evidence the whole campaign knew this as well.

    Full stop right there. Not one of them contacted the FBI, despite the fact that the campaign had been warned about Russian attempts to infiltrate the campaign and/or influence the election. That should be the whole ballgame, in any normal timeline.

    Your second paragraph I agree with completely.

    But regarding the first paragraph, would agree that Trump and his campaign, though they deny it, *welcomed* Russia’s help but in no way participated in it. Agreed.

    The news that was made today, for me, was that Cohen *confirmed* he was witness to a charge that Trump Sr. has repeatedly denied: namely, that Trump *knew nothing* of Russian involvement and *accepted no help* from the them.

    Trump’s Russia story is a never-ending shifting of goalposts, and we’ve come a long way from the initial days when every one of these bastards denied *any and all* involvement with the Russian attack/conspiracy. Hell, Trump even denies an attack occurred, b/c from his self-interested viewpoint, if no attack occurred, neither Trump nor has admin can be guilty of conspiracy.

    But Cohen testified today that Trump himself knew in advance of the Russian ratfuck and happily assented to it. That’s treason in every sense but the (apparently narrow) legal one. But if established, easily impeachable. It’s the difference betwixt being a passive beneficiary of outside ratfuckng and being an active participant in betraying your country.

    Don’t seem like Trump’s direct active connex to Russian ratfuckery was generally known or established anywhere yet, and so that’s why this seems like a purty big distinction w/a difference. To me, anyway.

  96. 96.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Jay: That was my understanding that he’d been both quite reserved and quiet. So I’m going with it being Shahid.

  97. 97.

    Jay

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Shahid doesn’t work for AOC. She bears no responsibility for his and the JD’s antics,

    but people are trying to make out that she does.

    It’s an imported winger slag being repurposed by so called Democrats.

  98. 98.

    Brickley Paiste

    @Jay:

    Yep, it is interesting that the progressives such as Sanders and AOC are so relentlessly attacked on this blog.

    Almost matches the faint praise accorded to Warren and the pats on here little head that she would be so much better if she just stayed a senator!

    Tiresome.

  99. 99.

    Jay

    @Brickley Paiste:

    Hi troll. Wilmer isn’t a Democratic Party Member, he’s not a progressive, he’s just an old Red yelling at clouds and putting onions on his belt. Wilmers only interest is grift.

    AOC is a Democratic Party Representative and a Progressive.

  101. 101.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @frosty: August 1970: Spent a month in Houston one night on a NASA tour. Landed from LAX at 10 PM in a driving thunderstorm, air temp 86 F, next morning upper 90s by 8 AM. Ferried us from bldg to bldg @ Johnson Space Center in air-conditioned buses for fear of heatstroke. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

  102. 102.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @Broccoli Puss:

    Tiresome.

    Presumably you were looking in the mirror when you thought that. Which in turn presumes you have a reflection. (I wouldn’t bet the mortgage on that.)

    Now where did I put the TrollBeGone spray…

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