Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Come on, man.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Cold Grey Pre-Dawn Open Thread: The GOP Table-Thumpers

Cold Grey Pre-Dawn Open Thread: The GOP Table-Thumpers

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You know the old lawyer joke: When the law is on your side, pound the law. When the facts are on your side, pound the facts. When you’ve got neither — pound the table.

Highlighting some side-show artistes from yesterday’s circus…
Mark ‘FREEDUMB CARCASS’ Meadows!


Jim “GYM” Jordan!

Paul ‘THE DENTIST’ Gosar!

But very, very BUSY!

Reader Interactions

21Comments

  1. 1.

    Jersey Tomato

    Shamelessly stealing this from a comment I saw posted elsewhere: There are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, and not one of them is as sensitive as a white man accused of racism.

  3. 3.

    Jay

    Mike Drucker
    ✔
    @MikeDrucker
    Shoutout to Jim Jordan on being shitty enough to make Donald Trump’s ambulance chasing lawyer look like Jimmy Stewart.

    4,008
    8:35 AM – Feb 27, 2019
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    644 people are talking about this

  4. 4.

    Jay

    Ky Krebs ??️‍?
    @kykrebs
    Guys, don’t get freaked out over the mention of a Trump love child in the Cohen hearing. Everyone know it’s not true. Trump isn’t capable of love.

    12
    10:48 AM – Feb 27, 2019
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  5. 5.

    Jay

    Kashana
    ✔
    @kashanacauley
    “Some of my best friends who attend hearings just to prove I’m not racist are black.”

    3,422
    8:40 AM – Feb 27, 2019
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    387 people are talking about this

  6. 6.

    plato

    Michael Cohen is a barely functional third-rate fixer for a reality-show goon and he’s making these GOP congressmen look duuuumb

    Yup. And what a whiny pieces of white trash.

  10. 10.

    Melusine

    Listening to Cohen’s repeated description of himself as the “3 am” guy for friends and family, it makes a lot of sense that he wouldn’t want a position in the WH counsel’s office, where he wouldn’t have attorney-client privilege or the same degree of access. He valued seeing himself as the President’s 3 am guy, the one behind the scenes that the President can call when he can’t call anyone else. His own greed and ambition played a big part, definitely, but I think what kept him so loyal to the shitgoblin was that sense of specialness he got from being The Donald’s fixer, the one he depended on. How much did trump make him feel that way, and how much did he delude himself into thinking the orange menace depended on him? That question has to be eating at Cohen.

    Too bad DeNiro’s too old to play him now. Who would make the perfect choice for Cohen in the inevitable film version of this shitshow?

  11. 11.

    Ian R

    I think what struck me most in the couple hours of the testimony that I watched is that Cohen actually answered questions. Contrast with every GOP appointee whose testimony we’ve seen in the last couple of years, who each absolutely refused to answer yes or no questions with either “yes” or “no”.

  13. 13.

    Princess

    @Jay: So they paid off a woman with a “lovechild” and yet there is no child. That’s called paying for her to have an abortion. Did anyone follow up with that question?

  14. 14.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    @Melusine: Ben Stiller has been doing him on SNL, can be hilarious, and is the right age. Also doesn’t seem to be working all that much these days so should be available.

  15. 15.

    Melusine

    @What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?: Shocked to find myself saying this, but Cohen may actually have a hair to much sincerity for Stiller. If it’s a drama.

    I don’t know how they’re ever going to make coherent screenplays out this. You can’t cut from “All the President’s Men” style drama to five minutes of an orangutan and his Large Adult Sons whacking themselves in the nuts with a baseball bat without giving audiences tonal whiplash. No one will believe it actually happened. But it does, every day.

  16. 16.

    low-tech cyclist

    Michael Cohen is a barely functional third-rate fixer for a reality-show goon and he’s making these GOP congressmen look duuuumb

    tbf, they’re mostly doing it to themselves

  18. 18.

    Luthe

    @Aleta: And here I thought yesterday’s faux-biblical sign was me making my bed for the first time in *years* (I am not exaggerating, I never make my bed).

  19. 19.

    Boris, Rasputin's Evil Twin

    Regarding Cohen working for and being loyal to a very bad man for many years, I wonder if he identifies with Albert Speer at all?

  20. 20.

    Spinoza Is My Co-Pilot

    @Melusine:

    Who would make the perfect choice for Cohen in the inevitable film version of this shitshow?

    As What Have The Romans… mentioned, Ben Stiller would be a good choice, but I’d go with Ray Abruzzo (played “Little” Carmine Lupertazzi on “The Sopranos”) myself.

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