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You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Comic CPAC Relief Open Thread: Every Circus Needs Its Sideshows

Comic CPAC Relief Open Thread: Every Circus Needs Its Sideshows

by Anne Laurie|  March 1, 20193:30 am| 31 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Assholes, Clown car

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The scholarship of the era confirms: the Cold War was a fight over hamburgers. https://t.co/P9eAkODNQc

— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) February 28, 2019

Be honest: would you get between this guy and a hamburger?

Another reason: this is basically how Russians imagines all Americans are: fattened on fast-food, spoiled, and deeply stupid.

— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) February 28, 2019


Not like anyone's playing to that stereotype. pic.twitter.com/PuuSejiINM

— Wouter van der Horst (@DerWouter) February 28, 2019

Ladeez and gentlebeings — Jacob Wohl!

The Wohl press conference has drawn a sizable crowd — including the @CHAPOTRAPHOUSE crew. pic.twitter.com/v4GyQkkNoi

— Will Sommer (@willsommer) February 28, 2019

Wohl pal Jack Burkman is eager not to discuss how his Mueller smear collapsed: “Rather than focus on the messenger, focus on the facts.”

— Will Sommer (@willsommer) February 28, 2019

And that’s it! Jacob Wohl’s press conference fizzles out amid questions about the FBI investigation into their last stunt. pic.twitter.com/0LnhuXZG6U

— Will Sommer (@willsommer) February 28, 2019

Jacob Wohl is like the Kwisatz Haderach of dipshittery

— TVLawyerHat (@Popehat) February 28, 2019

By 2023, CPAC will be 90% liberal & lefty #content creators there to gawk at the freaks

— The Discourse Lover (@Trillburne) February 28, 2019


Goddess willing, by 2023 CPAC will be one of those historical monstrosities, like the 1976 Republic convention, known only to desperate poli-sci students looking for a PhD topic… and unwitting fellow site attendees reminiscing about just how weird that weekend got after dark.

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Reader Interactions

31Comments

  1. 1.

    TriassicSands

    March 1, 2019 at 3:55 am

    Goddess willing, by 2023 CPAC will be one of those historical monstrosities, like the 1976 Republic convention, known only to desperate poli-sci students looking for a PhD topic…

    Yes, (a similar thought) I hope it will be like smallpox — a horrible disease of the past that has been wiped out except for samples safely stored in a BSL Level 4 lab.

  2. 2.

    MattF

    March 1, 2019 at 3:56 am

    But the taco truck menace is a national emergency. The end game is when they’ve take over every corner!

  3. 3.

    JWR

    March 1, 2019 at 4:02 am

    Oh God. Guess who’s on Seth Meyer’s Late Night? Not gonna tell you who, you’ll have to either watch, or guess. (Wilmer, er, winner, gets Free Health Care!)

  4. 4.

    Geoboy

    March 1, 2019 at 4:04 am

    We recently attended a wedding where the food at the reception was from a taco truck. It was incredibly good!

  5. 5.

    Chyron HR

    March 1, 2019 at 4:23 am

    #content

    Western civilization was a mistake.

  6. 6.

    Baud

    March 1, 2019 at 4:53 am

    “They want to take away your hamburgers. This is what Stalin dreamt about but never achieved.”

    Fascists gotta fast.

  7. 7.

    scav

    March 1, 2019 at 5:01 am

    The Hamburglar’s real allegiance is to Stalin?! Or, the Hamburglar is Stalin?!!! Alert the authorities as to this dangerous infiltration!

  8. 8.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 1, 2019 at 5:03 am

    What happens at CPAC, stays at CPAC.

  9. 9.

    J R in WV

    March 1, 2019 at 5:14 am

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    blech on CPAC !!

    And Fuck LBJ for Raven! now back to bed after hydration.

  10. 10.

    JPL

    March 1, 2019 at 5:14 am

    My morning bowl of oatmeal seems boring after so much talk about beef. ugh

  11. 11.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 1, 2019 at 5:17 am

    WHERE’S THE BEEF?????????????

  12. 12.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    March 1, 2019 at 7:09 am

    No socialized beef for you.

    So Gorka accused Joseph “Moar Steel Mills” Stalin of being an environmentalist. I see.

  13. 13.

    CliosFanboy

    March 1, 2019 at 7:09 am

    Is it still going on today? I wonder how many of my students will skip class to go? There’s usually one or two.

  14. 14.

    arrieve

    March 1, 2019 at 7:35 am

    I haven’t had my allotted one cup of caffeine yet so am having trouble making sense of all the stupidity. Oh wait…

  15. 15.

    SFAW

    March 1, 2019 at 7:37 am

    As with Jimmy O’Keefe, Wohl just hasn’t met “the right person” yet.

    And by “right person,” I mean someone he/they tried to fuck over, who then pounds the ever-loving shit out of him/them.

  16. 16.

    SFAW

    March 1, 2019 at 7:40 am

    @CliosFanboy:

    I wonder how many of my students will skip class to go? There’s usually one or two.

    “You get an F! And YOU get an F!. And YOU …”

  17. 17.

    low-tech cyclist

    March 1, 2019 at 7:43 am

    @Geoboy: Where’s MY taco truck, dammit? I want a taco truck on MY corner!!

  18. 18.

    chopper

    March 1, 2019 at 8:18 am

    the liberals want to take away your hamburgers! and replace them with greasy, tasteless “hamberders”! are we gonna let them? NO!

  19. 19.

    kindness

    March 1, 2019 at 8:21 am

    What is really sad about the Trump era is that CPAC is now comic relief. That is truly sad.

  20. 20.

    chopper

    March 1, 2019 at 8:23 am

    jesus, these guys are still living in the vietnam era. which is funny, cause the guys that are old enough to have gone all dodged the draft.

    I think it is bogus, totally artificial. There is no threat. The Communists are not about to take over our McDonald hamburger stands.

    – john kerry, in his testimony in front of the senate foreign relations committee, 4/22/1971

  21. 21.

    Matt

    March 1, 2019 at 8:33 am

    Shorter wingnutz: “AOC is gonna take my penis hamburgers away!”

  22. 22.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 1, 2019 at 9:41 am

    .. this is basically how Russians imagines all Americans are: fattened on fast-food, spoiled, and deeply stupid.

    Hence, the American President. The irony is delicious, though calorie-laden.

  23. 23.

    Gelfling 545

    March 1, 2019 at 9:42 am

    @Geoboy: My daughter is doing this for her wedding in July. With gourmet popcorn hors d’oeuvres. The ring bearer and flower girls are alpacas. .

  24. 24.

    BruceFromOhio

    March 1, 2019 at 9:49 am

    @Geoboy: My cousins in Madison, WI, had a big tent in an open field for their wedding. The wedding feast consisted of barbecue chicken, tacos, and ice cream goodies from three independent food trucks.The refrigerated beer trailer was far and away the most popular destination (DadFromNY was responsible for changing the kegs, particularly the root beer kegs for the kiddoes and teetotalers). It was an absolute blast, and it made for a splendid communal feast for several hundred guests, many of who were meeting for the first time. The food truck peeps left trays of leftovers in the refrigerated beer truck that were consumed at the after-party the next day. Everything, including the beer and ice cream, was locally sourced. Plenty of fattened, spoiled Americans were had that day.

  25. 25.

    Big Jim Slade

    March 1, 2019 at 10:34 am

    CPAC, IPECAC; to-may-to, to-mah-to.

  26. 26.

    Duane

    March 1, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Squirrels stand in awe at the abundance of nuts CPAC has gathered.

  27. 27.

    Jimbo

    March 1, 2019 at 11:04 am

    Bunch of cartoon villains.

    Unfortunately, with real-world consequences.

  28. 28.

    J R in WV

    March 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    @Duane:

    Top quality snark, I tip my crown to you, fine Jackal!!!

  29. 29.

    johncarter

    March 1, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    I’ll give you my hamberder when you pry it from my cold, ketchup and cheese covered hands!

    (Fish sandwich? Meh!)

  30. 30.

    Chip Daniels

    March 1, 2019 at 12:54 pm

    So, I’m not getting out of the boat…was Wohl’s fly zipped up this time?

  31. 31.

    Panurge

    March 1, 2019 at 5:48 pm

    @chopper:

    these guys are still living in the vietnam era

    They’ve mostly repealed even that, and taken us with them. If enough people decide we’re in the New Fifties, then we are.

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