Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

As long as McCarthy is Speaker, the House will never be in order.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Glad to see john eastman going through some things.

I really should read my own blog.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

This blog will pay for itself.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

… among the most cringeworthy communications in the history of the alphabet!

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

I like you, you’re my kind of trouble.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

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Reader Interactions

120Comments

  4. 4.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    At first I thought that was Brian Posehn, and I’m still not sure it isn’t

  5. 5.

    germy

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: That’s exactly who I thought it was at first. But he wasn’t wearing a sweater vest.

    It’s fun to watch with the sound off, and then it’s just a bunch of random movements and attitudes.

  6. 6.

    Raven

    At first glance, Mike Alancourt doesn’t look like he’d own the hip-hop dance floor. However, 1 Vibe Dance in Jacksonville, Florida, recently posted an Instagram video of Alancourt, who is in his 40s, executing an impressive routine to Post Malone’s “Wow,” and it proves that looks can be deceiving.

    Not only does the bespectacled and long-bearded dancer hit every move, but he looks like he’s having a lot of fun doing it. The video now has more than 400,000 views, and people in the comments can’t get over this guy’s incredible skills.

  15. 15.

    Mary G

    I don’t think Joe Biden really wants to be president:

    "I get criticized for this as well," Biden says before referring to David Brooks. Says Brooks is a "brilliant writer."— Jennifer Epstein (@jeneps) March 16, 2019

    My favorite response:

    I mean, putting aside that it’s all nonsense, what is the market for “friends, let’s give these scorpions one last ride across the river?” https://t.co/D6wPzIbdEU— A.R. Moxon (Julius Goat) (@JuliusGoat) March 17, 2019

  16. 16.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Raven: I wasn’t impressed that a guy in his 40s could do that. I was surprised that he was only in his 40s. I would have guessed that he well into his 60s. And fwiw I did a 50 mile bike ride in my 50th birthday.

  17. 17.

    WaterGirl

    @Baud: He’s got game, for sure. Looks way older than 40, though 40s could be 49. That does not look like the one Zumba class I went to, one time. That was enough for me, and by enough, I mean too much.

  19. 19.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    I kept waiting for him to rip the full-head mask off, Mission Impossible-style.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    @Mary G

    Get taken to the woodshed here whenever I mention it – he’s always been a dimbulb. Genial and thick as a brick, noticeably even thicker after his brain surgeries. If you can bear it, look up his comments about Delaware being heart and soul if not in practice a Confederate state, both then and now, including how proud he was to represent a state with such sensibilities and ingrown allegiance and what a shame it was that Maryland was geographically in the way so that Delaware couldn’t officially secede.

  23. 23.

    ola azul

    @Mary G:

    Wait, wut? I ain’t got no love for Biden and just wish he’d go away but — Biden just said David “Wrong-About-Everything-Always” Brooks is a brilliant writer?

    If Biden ain’t grokked to the fact that David Brooks is an ass-covering chickenshit who carried water for Bush and the GOP thru every disastrous avoidable cruelty they imposed upon the country and the world, and now Brooks’ job is to build a lifeboat to escape alla horrors his fatuous partisan ideologies created, then Biden is fucking hopeless.

    Any-fucking-one who thinks David “Both-Sides-Are-Equally-To-Blame-Absolving-Me-Entirely!” Brooks is brilliant is a doddering simp who ain’t plugged into the, ahem, developments of the last 30-odd years.

    Fucking clueless.

  24. 24.

    Alternative Fax, a hip hop artist from Idaho

    @Omnes Omnibus: I got that as well – he does look (much) older. And your type is all too rare as well, my friend (if I may be so bold as to call you that).
    For my 50th, I leased a ride from the huntsman and went on a pretty rousing 5 1/2 hour hunt. Quite lightweight compare to the bike ride, to be sure.

  25. 25.

    Sab

    Since some of us have to produce dinner every night.

    I am doing a variant of TaMaras vieja ropa, which is apparently a variant of New Mexican machaca. Which is the bane of my Ohio husband’s life. He actually likes it, but I only make it when I don’t have time to cook, leaving him with leftovers, to serve over rice or roll in tortillas with cheese. He would rather have a wife making those choices, with spousal input. First world problems.

  28. 28.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    @mrmoshpotato: I couldn’t stand more than a minute of that one, but it led me to this one. The song is an all-time fave with possibly the best lip sync this side of a drag queen show.

  29. 29.

    Ohio Mom

    @NotMax: Yeah, on his own (without being at Obama’s side), Biden’s goofiness is overpowering. Now I am wondering why Obama picked him to be VP.

  33. 33.

    Adam L Silverman

    @rikyrah: I think the members of the Bernie cult would without a date. A think some others might to try to make peace and present a united front. The rest of us, not so much.

  38. 38.

    Sab

    @Aleta: Phuck. I have to make that tomorow, don’t I? We are having ruebens instead of whatever I was supposed to make. Cabbage and corned beef in one delicious package.

  41. 41.

    ruemara

    Yeah, some of that can be found in Zumba. But this is just a hiphop dance studio. He’s real good though. I dance with some ladies that would kill to be able to do that. Right now, I’d almost kill. Hopefully I’ll regain my mobility soon. For now, GET IT GRANDPA!

    @rikyrah: Oh, they would. In a heartbeat. They know better than us Neeeegrows and why don’t we understand that. After the 24 hours of Chelsea Clinton ragging, I think they’re all really nuts.

  42. 42.

    NotMax

    @BillinGlendaleCA

    Am down to trekking to the mailbox and back four times a week, combining that with bringing the landlady’s trash can down to the street and back up the next day, twice weekly.

  44. 44.

    ruemara

    @Ohio Mom: Honestly? I think he took Biden as the reassuring white male presence who would really be making tough decisions and guiding this upstart black dude. You have to understand the biases and give them a good reason to convince themselves to vote for the ticket. And, I do think they have genuine love for each other.

  47. 47.

    eemom

    @Mary G:

    “I get criticized for this as well,” Biden says before referring to David Brooks. Says Brooks is a “brilliant writer.”

    Oh no. No no. Please, he didn’t REALLY say that??

    I am crushed. I didn’t think he should run for president, but I loved Uncle Joe. I sincerely believed that he meant well, and I even loved his goofy foot in mouth gaffes, as a sign of his endearingly childlike sincerity.

    But praising David Brooks, one of the slimiest slimes ever to slimily pick up a pen? Nopety nope nope. Deal breaker. Non starter. DOA. Case closed.

    You broke my heart, Joe-O. You BROKE my HEART.

  48. 48.

    ola azul

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Oh, no worries, I know. Expect I really should include “//” or whatever folks do to signify they is something less’n serious and mayhap winking at the ticklish side a playful, but can’t seem to bring myself round to it somehow.

  51. 51.

    Sab

    @Honus: I am 65 and I was at work today deciding if the brokerage statements were printed/copied big enough that our senior partner/client/IRS would all be happy.

    My eyes used to fabulous. 20/20+. Could read the Compact OED without a magnifying glass. Now I have cataracts and whateverthephuck old people get. I can’t recognize my husband without glasses. Can’t drive without them, legally or sensibly. Snort!

  52. 52.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @eemom: Seconded. David Brooks is a pox on what passes for “journalism” in this country. Joe should be ashamed.

  54. 54.

    Jay

    @eemom:

    Theres a chunk of the Democratic Party that just hasn’t “got it”. They have been cosy cosy with Republicans in the House and Senate for so long that they just don’t “get it”.

    A crapload of the “freshman class” get it, because they havn’t been swimming long enough in the incestuous pools that is the Political Machine, that they havn’t been coopted.

  58. 58.

    Jay Noble

    Haven’t seen it mentioned here but Nebraska took a beating from Mother Nature this week. From Central NE to the Missouri river has become an archipelago due to failed dams, levees and washed out bridges and roads. Over 60,000 people evacuated, 53 of 93 counties declared disaster areas, 2 fatalities so far. Right now, many are venting that MSM is ignoring them because “fly over country” and “Trump deplorables”.

    This does need a some more coverage because it’s all headed down stream both literally and figuratively. Literally all that stuff – inculding at least one fair-sized sewage treatment plant – will go into the Missouri River and thus into the Mississippi. If the Keystone Pipeline had been built . . . Figuratively, it will be hitting pocket books at the supemarket. Most of that area is corn and soybeans. While planting season is still a little ways off, whole farms worth of tractors and trucks and tools got swept away. And this is calving season with calves at theirs most vunerable.

    https://www.knopnews2.com/content/news/Photos–Videos-of-flooding-across-Nebraska-507157931.html?ref=931

  60. 60.

    Ruckus

    @Omnes Omnibus:
    I was still ridding bicycles when I was 60 and running several miles a week. But the last decade has not been as good to me as the prior couple. I can run across the street if I have to, but run distances, no way. Still walk about 10 miles a week though. Not bad for an old fart.

  64. 64.

    prostratedragon

    @NotMax:
    “The victim kneeling laid his head upon the block, fitted his neck into the small hollowed-out space designed to receive it whereupon the axe descended, severing the head from the torso with one blow, or in some unlacky cases two. –[i]Gaslight[/i] (1944)

  66. 66.

    Sab

    Mixed. He was a gorgeous hunk when I married him 20 years ago. Of course that was twenty years ago. He is still him, so there is that.But he is much older, and a blue collar guy broken up by work.

  67. 67.

    ola azul

    @eemom:

    Irrespective of everything else (and it’s alot), Biden’s show of fulsome appreciation for David Brooks suggests Biden is fundamentally misreading (i.e. fucking clueless) about the political moment in which we are living.

    It’s not uncommon, tho, sad to say. When I was a boy, cleared outta the old man’s place junior year a high school (… long story won’t bore you with …) and wound up being invited into a friend of mine’s home. My friend’s parents were classic liberals: raised money to build a library in their little bedroom town, donated time and money to worthy causes, involved in all manner of civic life/improvement, the sorts of peeps who would take a scrambled fuck-up kid into their house; she was a first-grade teacher and he was an engineer, both life-long voting Democrats.

    Now, here’s the disappointing part. They both *still* love David Brooks. They hear him on NPR, they see him fapping away with the Jowels of Concern on PBS. He seems so reasonable!

    Hell, even Obama has had good things to say about David Brooks if memory serves.

    And, as you intimate (and I have said myself): David Brooks IS the swamp. His job when Republicans are riding high is to catapult the propaganda in the most centrist way possible, and when Republicans are foundering, his job is to make damn sure everyone knows it is the fault of “both-sides!” for this predicament, and since no one is responsible, no one (and especially NOT David Brooks!) is to blame.

    The continued good will toward David Brooks is, to me, symptomatic of reasonable people’s *need* to find a counterpart on the opposing side who is “reasonable”. This phenomenon purty much explains how and why the media carried Paul Ryan, a transparent innumerate lying fraud, way past his expiration date.

    The idea that *no one* on the other side is reasonable or truthful or has integrity is, for many, so unthinkable, that fairy tales are created so political children can sleep at night.

    imo

  68. 68.

    Another Scott

    @eemom: This didn’t do it? (repost)

    ana marie cox Verified account @anamariecox

    ana marie cox Retweeted Jezebel

    Jesus.

    Jezebel Verified account @Jezebel

    Joe Biden on Anita Hill: “I feel really badly that she didn’t feel like the process worked” http://bit.ly/2hqMvsm

    12:46 PM – 13 Nov 2017

    He needs to not be a candidate.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  73. 73.

    Matt McIrvin

    @ruemara: I gather that part of the reason it’s still going on is that some of the people defending Chelsea Clinton went after the young woman who confronted her in the usual gross, dangerous doxxing-and-dogpiling way, and what we’re seeing at this point is the horrified reaction to that. Also, Donald Trump Jr. jumped in on Chelsea’s side just to keep everybody good and riled up.

    Twitter is an energy being that feeds on our hate.

  74. 74.

    Auntie Anne

    @NotMax: As a native Delawarean who’s watched Biden’s career literally since his first election, I have to agree.

  75. 75.

    tobie

    @eemom: I don’t know of any Democrat of any ideological stripe who thinks David Brooks is worth reading. Not one. Not even my folks. It’s weird that Biden would say this.

  77. 77.

    Sab

    @Sab: Brickley Paiste says I have been totally misjudging you. If I have been treating a librarian like a lawyer ( my grandmother was a technical librarian- I was a bad lawyer in my mispent youth) then I am beyond apologetic.

  78. 78.

    tobie

    @Matt McIrvin: Puleeze. I caught the beginning of this episode and even then it was clear that rose-twitter was working overtime to justify this woman’s unhinged rant at Chelsea Clinton, which she posted online herself with a fundraising appeal. Who goes to a memorial service in a campaign t-shirt by the way? And arranges with a friend to make a film of you accosting an invited guest at an event to mourn the dead?

  80. 80.

    Jay Noble

    @Jay: Oh I think they’ve believed in it for quite some time but given the chance to say something to piss off a pointy headed scholar type, they just can’t help themselves.

  81. 81.

    Jay

    @Jay Noble:

    Fort Mac burned to the ground two years ago.

    Trudeau bought them a pipeline.

    Now they are Yellow Vests Canada/United We Roll calling for more global warming while screaming about how the earth is flat, there is a White Genocide and calling for the murder of Trudeau, LGTBQ, Muslims, Indigenous Peoples and SJW’s,

    Fuck em.

    When Fort Mac burns again, instead of donating I’m going to block the evacuation routes so those fuckers can burn in hell.

  82. 82.

    Bill Arnold

    @NotMax:
    Thanks for that history piece. This in particular caught my eye (italics mine):

    Novelty guillotines also found their way onto some upper class dinner tables, where they were used as bread and vegetable slicers.

    Had a guillotine as a prop (foam blade, about 8 feet tall, friend made it) at a Halloween party (theme: Revolution) some years back. Even the extremely drunk people would stop what they were doing for a second or two when it noisily fell. Felt a bit guilty about that one.

  83. 83.

    Mary G

    WOW!PM Jacinda Ardern says NZ Govt will:•Cover funeral costs•Provide financial support (for up to years) for those who will suffer income loss due to the terror attack•Do so *regardless* of immigration status & citizenship❤️?#NewZealandStrong https://t.co/o4QykkcBMC— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) March 17, 2019

    And we have Twitler who would deport everybody.

  84. 84.

    StringOnAStick

    @ola azul: Agreed. I was willing to tolerate Joe in the race though he’ll end up trashing his positives from being Obama’s VP, but that crap praising David fucking Brooks is a bridge on another planet. Kudos to Driftglass for teaching my brain to always say all three words for that idiot.

  85. 85.

    Bill Arnold

    @Aleta:
    I haven’t read it in a while so don’t know how it’s aged, but Remake by Connie Willis (1994) was fun (not her best (“Doomsday Book”), but fun).
    (Ginger Rogers, in that novel.)

  86. 86.

    Mike in NC

    So far this weekend we’ve watched three of the recent Academy Award nominated movies via Redbox: ‘The Favourite’, ‘Green Book’, and ‘BlackkKlansman’ and they were all pretty decent films. Also found a funny family show on Hulu called ‘Horrible Histories’ that was on BBC several years ago. Sort of a Monty Python type of spoof not just for kids.

  93. 93.

    opiejeanne

    @Adam L Silverman: Thanks for the music thread last night. I used it for our trip today when we were out of range of radio stations we wanted to listen to: Central California is a musical desert mostly.

  94. 94.

    ola azul

    @StringOnAStick:

    Apparently we had the same reaction: any fluffing of David Brooks was categorically disqualifying inna Dem prospect.

    Seem to recall you mentioning you were gonna go bionic soon? Hope yer knee surgery went well.

    (Pics from your ski trip was sublime.)

  95. 95.

    joel hanes

    @ola azul:

    any fluffing of David Brooks was categorically disqualifying inna Dem prospect.

    … as if his behavior wrt Anita Hill and his fingerprints on the bankruptcy bill (that is poisoning lives because student debt can no longer be discharged in bankruptcy) weren’t already disqualifying enough.

  98. 98.

    opiejeanne

    @tobie: Thank you for saying that. Those two twits deserved everything they’ve gotten in push-back. People did check their recent Tweets and discovered that she is antisemitic and a homophobe. She put that out there herself, and recently. I check people’s recent tweets sometimes to make sure I’m not misunderstanding them, a thing I have been known to do sometimes. There was no misunderstanding of what they were about.

  99. 99.

    ruemara

    @Matt McIrvin: I was part of the at least chastising mob. I was horrified. I’m sorry, but her supporters are behaving as bad or worse than usual. They are unbelievably bloodthirsty in regard to Chelsea Clinton and the excuse is that she criticised Ilhan Omar, plus she’s a Clinton, so she’s a political figure. They disgust me, the targeting done by these two attention seeking pretend socialists disgusts me and the fact that they decided to make a vigil for murder victims about them for the fucking provost of the interfaith group that was invited there to speak because part of what Chelsea Clinton does is work with interfaith groups for peace – fucking disgusts me about rose twitter, woke types, Bernie types and many POC types who are excusing this that attacking someone not in office is fully justified because these are Muslima and Chelsea is rich. Well, the girls are also rich. Now what, skippy? Fuck the left. They’re horrible.

  101. 101.

    ola azul

    @joel hanes:

    Agreed. The list is long (in fact, prolly the best reaction I ever got here was going off onna scorching jag w/reasons why Joe shouldn’t run). As I say, never been a fan of Joe as a politician, tho will say the best run he had, by far, was as Obama’s No. 2. If Joe runs, he’s gonna fuck up the goodwill he’s garnered, mostly as a result of being a steadfast supporter of a popular president.

    If Joe is beloved, it’s cuz he’s a supporting part of the Obama legacy. Joe stands in reflected glory. I ain’t just sure Joe understands that.

    If Joe runs, the knives is gonna come out, cuz ain’t nobody got the patience for DLC Third-Way reaching-across-the-aisle reach-arounds with bad-faith assholes who roll the likes of simpleton Joe. Them days is, thanks to goodness, over.

    Not so much for the country’s sake, but more for Joe’s benefit, am hoping he don’t run. Most people don’t like to be ingracious unnecessarily, but if Joe runs, it’s gonna require telling the truth.

    Which is oft mistaken for ingraciousness.

  104. 104.

    tobie

    @opiejeanne: @ruemara: The defenses of this woman and her friend attacking Chelsea Clinton are utterly appalling. First the two students at NYU blame Chelsea personally and directly for the massacre in New Zealand. Then rose twitter tries to defend the two by saying that Chelsea Clinton brought it on herself by daring to express concern about some of the rhetoric Omar has used. That Omar and Clinton had a polite and productive twitter exchange seems to have escaped them entirely, as does Clinton’s strong defense of Omar when she was being criticized by Mike Pence. Now Omar’s campaign chair and Lisa Sarsour (of the Women’s March) have chimed in to slam Clinton. If Omar doesn’t fire him, I will have serious questions about her judgment. In the meantime I’m mourning the death of my party that has been so torn apart by attention grabbing extremists that I don’t see how we will ever get back to the sober and important business of actually governing.

  105. 105.

    ola azul

    @Amir Khalid:

    That’s Voulez-vous coucher avec moi. And the Patti LaBelle song it comes from is titled Lady Marmalade.

    Oh? Really? Do tell!

    You mean even tho I got everything correct except touche for coucher, and even tho touche was specifically cited in the post I was replying to, you surmised, in your inestimable way, that I got it wrong and was in need of your correction rather than was making a, you know, joke.

    Is that the literal-minded story you’re going with?

  107. 107.

    Mary G

    @ruemara: I said “no class” to the Bernie woman’s twitter before she deleted it, and got 167 likes and one

    Fuck class. Y’all just want people to stay quiet as they suffer.

  108. 108.

    ruemara

    @Mary G: She’s a wealthy American Palestinian who drops “f @ ggot” like it’s leaves in fall and the very idea that Chelsea Clinton is to blame for a massacre because she’s a Clinton is precisely the level of bigotry we’re supposed to be united against. I’m appalled. This is exactly what I’ve been saying. That we can be manipulated into saying & doing just as awful things, so we need to be aware that we can be fooled.

    @tobie: I feel exactly like you. I’m kind of in shock. We should be talking about the people lost due to hate and uniting in the face of a global threat of fascism using stochastic terror. Instead, it’s two dumbasses that Buzzfeed had THE FUCKING NERVE to give them a platform for an even more stupid op-ed to justify themselves. Fuck all of this.

  109. 109.

    tobie

    @ruemara: I didn’t know that it was Buzzed that gave the student and her friend a platform. Yuck. Seeing all this ugliness unfold today reminds me why I not just want but need to be uplifted in the coming campaign. We need to feel some common purpose and that we are involved in a common project or the fascists will take over. We can’t afford to be spewing hate at each other when people are being mowed down in their houses of worship, offices, streets, concerts, etc.

  114. 114.

    ola azul

    @Amir Khalid:

    This is true, inna slavishly literal-minded way, just so long’s you ignore I did it on purpose. To make a joke. That you missed.

    Other’n that, you gotta completely valid point, inna small-minded way.

    Anything else you wish to unburden yourself of?

  115. 115.

    MomSense

    @ruemara:

    You may not want to see Greenwald’s recent appearance on Democracy Now. He chastised Chelsea for tweeting that she was going to reach out to Omar. He didn’t think Chelsea should be the arbiter of what’s appropriate since her parents are the two people most responsible for the US support of Apartheid, murderous, oppressive Israel. Greenwald’s appearance was on February 11 so this Chelsea is against Muslim nonsense has been percolating in those circles since then.

    Is anyone here surprised that Greenwald has a hand in it?

  119. 119.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    @Amir Khalid:

    You might want to dial the pedant-o-scope down from 11. It seemed obvious that ola azul was making a play on words with touché/​coucher.

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