• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Fear and negativity are contagious, but so is courage!

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

The way to stop violence is to stop manufacturing the hatred that fuels it.

I’m more christian than these people and i’m an atheist.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Hot air and ill-informed banter

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

I really should read my own blog.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Donald Trump found guilty as fuck – May 30, 2024!

Not loving this new fraud based economy.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Prediction: the gop will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

Conservatism: there are people the law protects but does not bind and others who the law binds but does not protect.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Mobile Menu

  • 4 Directions VA 2025 Raffle
  • 2025 Activism
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because of wow. / Lighter Side Open Thread: H-O-R-S-E HARSH!

Lighter Side Open Thread: H-O-R-S-E HARSH!

by Anne Laurie|  March 18, 20191:38 am| 54 Comments

This post is in: Because of wow., Open Threads, Sports

FacebookTweetEmail

this ends fantastically pic.twitter.com/zNKCi4gbZl

— megan YELI MVP brown (@thatgirlondeck) March 16, 2019

How about giving the original creator credit? @TheRealRyanHiga ! You the best man ?

— °• k a y l a •° (@AcousticArtist1) March 16, 2019

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Speculation Open Thread: Does Trump Think Something BAD Is Coming At Him?
Next Post: Monday Morning Open Thread: Elizabeth Warren, Walking Point »

Reader Interactions

54Comments

  1. 1.

    Brickley Paiste

    March 18, 2019 at 1:48 am

    fan-fucking-tas-tique.

  2. 2.

    Peale

    March 18, 2019 at 2:04 am

    I didn’t know Ryan Higga was sntill around. It’s like YouTube circa 2008.

  3. 3.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 18, 2019 at 2:13 am

    Cool, but it feels like sound would make it a thousand times better. It looks like madness, and probably sounded like madness too.

  4. 4.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 2:37 am

    So people are bitching and moaning on tumblr about NE flooding not getting as much coverage and instead is “playing right into the NZ shooter’s hands”. I have no idea wtf that means, but covering this horrific hate crime is important. I’ve seen coverage of it. People tend to assume if they’re not the lead story, then they’re not being covered.

    I remember on Friday someone speculated here that the shooter’s manifesto was trying to get media attention in the US. But he’s a New Zealander, right? Why would he care about media coverage in the US?

  5. 5.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 2:47 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Global outlets with wide reach (and perceived clout) such as, for example, CNN International and the International Herald Tribune (now The New York Times International Edition) are parentally based here.

    Also, he’s an Australian, not a New Zealander.

  6. 6.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 2:55 am

    @NotMax

    Probably ought to add that Rupert Murdoch’s empire operates out of the U.S.

  7. 7.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    March 18, 2019 at 3:04 am

    @NotMax: Rupert paid good money for his US citizenship.

  8. 8.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 3:06 am

    @NotMax:
    Ah. That makes sense. Gunfondlers are losing their minds over the NZ shootings atm. I love the pithy remarks about banning knifes, which completely ignore that a knife’s primary function is not always to kill. A firearm’s is. You can outrun someone with a knife; bullets not so much.

    Practically anything can be turned into a weapon. If a person is determined enough, they’ll find a way to murder someone else. The point of gun restrictions is to make that harder; to make a person potentially rethink what they’re planning to do, not out of conscience but out of cowardice. Melee combat is often up close and personal. It’s more intimidating to kill someone with I knife (at least I’d imagine).

    Guns? Those are easy. Point and shoot, just like a camera. That’s part of why modern armies use them. Aside from being super deadly, they’re easy to use.

    My theory is that guns psychologically make it easier for someone to kill another person. Very little risk to yourself. Unless the intended victim has a gun too. However, that can be solved by getting the drop on them first.

    Whew. That was a lot. I just felt I had to discredit that lame argument.

  9. 9.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 3:22 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    Why would he care about media coverage in the US?

    American white supremacists probably make up more than half of his target audience.

  10. 10.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 3:27 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Probably. I still don’t understand references to “playing into the shooter’s hands”. Oh and the evil MSM is ignoring the NE flooding because white people.

  11. 11.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 3:28 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: well, you see, the people saying that are idiots.

  12. 12.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 3:33 am

    Samwise update from the cat sitter imgur.com/a/u1kolfv

  13. 13.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 3:36 am

    @Major Major Major Major:
    Lol. Again, that’s probably it.

    I got a writing question. I’m plotting a story about a guy who wakes up from a coma where seemingly everyone has disappeared instantaneously. He lives in LA, is latino, works for JPL, and was in the Marine Corp of Engineers. Has a family.

    It later turns out nearly everyone was kidnapped by an alien civilization for slaves. Other alien characters arrive and he teams up with them to rescue humanity.

    A few issues I could use some advice on:

    One, once the character realizes the scope of his situation, how would I avoid him wanting to commit suicide out of sorrow?

    Two, what would a civilization capable of mass teleportation need with slaves? Any physical labor could be performed by advanced robots.

  14. 14.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 3:41 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Will add as well that one should not necessarily ascribe logical or rational motivation for his actions and what their outcome would provide to someone so mentally twisted.

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 3:46 am

    @Major Major Major Major

    his target audience

    Phrasing.

  16. 16.

    Amir Khalid

    March 18, 2019 at 3:46 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
    Are you asking people to invent big chunks of your story for you? You’re a fiction writer. Make something up.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 3:47 am

    Coding fix.
    @Major Major Major Major

    his target audience

    Phrasing.

  18. 18.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 3:49 am

    @Amir Khalid:
    That’s not what I meant. I guess what I trying to go for was to see if these are huge plot holes or not.

  19. 19.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 3:50 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: why would he kill himself? Maybe he gets sad, maybe he spends a little time doing the stuff he’s always secretly wanted to do, maybe he becomes listless and starts to slip into depression right when the other folks show up.

    Maybe the aliens don’t need slaves, but they want them because they’re assholes. Or their civilization was built on the idea that certain things can only be done by the unwilling, but they consider enslaving themselves to be wrong, so they steal entire planets’ worth of other sentient beings for slaves.

    They’d probably leave behind a breeding population, though. Maybe this has happened before even.

  20. 20.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 3:59 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    why would he kill himself?

    Because as far as he knows, everyone he’s ever known and loved is gone/might as well be dead and that he has a lifetime of loneliness to look forward to.

    I think a major reason characters in these types of stories are often not given families is to avoid this outcome, especially if you want to do commentary on consumerism and have the character slip into madness briefly, until others show up.

    Your second paragraph is pretty good. I just figured that any civilization technologically advanced enough wouldn’t bother using slaves as labor. Machines would do that for them.

    I suppose they could be kidnapped and used as cattle, but I want to avoid having a ton of people dying. That would make the tone too dark tbh, considering I was thinking of making the “Last Human on Earth” part stretch for several months in story.

  21. 21.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 4:00 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    As Amir so wisely stated, it’s your story.

    That said, will toss out a couple of sparse comments and then fade into the woodwork and remain mum regarding this.

    1) Presumably a very short-term coma. People who have been in extended comas don’t exactly pop awake, hop out of bed and start dancing the Charleston. And if he’s not of a suicidal temperament, then that option is essentially precluded.

    2) They’re aliens. Different culture, different mores, different touchstones, different mindset, different traditions. Could be their religion forbids robotics, could be they perceive being put in service to them one of the highest honors they can bestow, could be any of a gazillion reasons.

  22. 22.

    Amir Khalid

    March 18, 2019 at 4:01 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
    Aliens don’t need to be all that rational. Humans certainly aren’t.

  23. 23.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 4:03 am

    @NotMax: @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: I will add to what NotMax said that many villains don’t consider what they do to be evil.

  24. 24.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 4:08 am

    @NotMax:
    As it so happens, I had thought of the short coma angle. It’s a medically induced coma the MC wakes up from a few days after the Event. The Mass Teleportation works somehow on higher-level consciousness. Anyone not in a coma would be teleported, while those in comas, along with animals, would be unaffected.

    The MC actually finds evidence of this by coming across dead bodies

    Your second point is excellent. Thank you very much!
    I suppose I had Star Trek-like aliens (very much human in behavior/culture) in mind tbh.

  25. 25.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 4:08 am

    @Amir Khalid

    And in science fiction some things, like the enigma of the Heechee ass, are destined to remain forever clouded in mystery.

    ;)

  26. 26.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 4:12 am

    @Major Major Major Major:
    I got that. I guess just was thinking the aliens had to be human-like for some reason and I didn’t consciously realize I was doing that

  27. 27.

    NotMax

    March 18, 2019 at 4:14 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    While there are any number of SF stories which touch on (either initially or eternally) inscrutable alienness as a feature, will suggest one as a ripping good read if you haven’t devoured it already: Footfall by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.

  28. 28.

    Amir Khalid

    March 18, 2019 at 4:21 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    I suppose they could be kidnapped and used as cattle, but I want to avoid having a ton of people dying.

    Mass enslavement by any means is dark. I don’t think there is any way to put it in a story and avoid that darkness.

  29. 29.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 4:25 am

    @NotMax:
    I’ll check it out = )

  30. 30.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 4:27 am

    @Amir Khalid:

    Not necessarily. It all depends on how long it goes on for and what happens in the meantime. I could see a cartoon made for children 10+ doing it and the day being saved with no one the worse for wear at the end of an episode

  31. 31.

    sgrAstar

    March 18, 2019 at 4:29 am

    @Peale: @Peale:
    Ryan Higga! The Agents of Secret Stuff (A.S.S.). Fun times for ten year olds.

  32. 32.

    Fair Economist

    March 18, 2019 at 4:30 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    Because as far as he knows, everyone he’s ever known and loved is gone/might as well be dead and that he has a lifetime of loneliness to look forward to.

    Well, that’s not too far off from African slaves brought to the Americas and for the most part they didn’t commit suicide. You don’t need to explain why he would choose to continue living because that’s what the large majority of the population would do. It’s plausible he would commit suicide but not the most likely course.

  33. 33.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    March 18, 2019 at 4:33 am

    @Fair Economist:
    I think I figured out what I’m going to do. I’m just going to make them not have a family. Parents have been dead for years. Either that, or I give some early clue that not everyone’s dead; everyone was teleported somewhere else and are alive.

  34. 34.

    Amir Khalid

    March 18, 2019 at 4:35 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:
    Most enslaved people don’t get out of their enslavement alive. What you decribe there is not enslavement but kidnapping.

  35. 35.

    JPL

    March 18, 2019 at 4:40 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Samwise is quite the beauty.

  36. 36.

    Mary G

    March 18, 2019 at 4:43 am

    OK, Steve King forwarded a stupid right wing tweet about our coming civil war:

    Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these people pic.twitter.com/1d6opXFaF6— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) March 17, 2019

    Nutso.

  37. 37.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 4:52 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    I’m just going to make them not have a family. Parents have been dead for years.

    Feh. A cop-out usually reserved for lazy D&D players. Your character will have emotions, deal with it.

  38. 38.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 4:53 am

    @JPL: we got him a new bow tie from Tokyo! Super excited to get home and force it on him.

  39. 39.

    OzarkHillbilly

    March 18, 2019 at 4:56 am

    All the times my mother yelled at me to “STOP BOUNCING THAT BALL IN THE HOUSE!”

    I coulda been a youtube contender. If there’d been a youtube.

  40. 40.

    Joey Maloney

    March 18, 2019 at 4:58 am

    Our bloghost has hidden talents? twitter.com/TomthunkitsMind/status/1107555825277722624

  41. 41.

    mrmoshpotato

    March 18, 2019 at 4:59 am

    @Major Major Major Major:

    Super excited to get home and force it on him.

    Will you have EMTs standing by, or do you have chainmail gloves for occasions like this?

  42. 42.

    Anne Laurie

    March 18, 2019 at 5:16 am

    @Mary G: What with the Oval Office Occupant and the New Zealand mass murderer getting so much love from King’s (very) Base, he felt the need to put something out there.

    He’s barely worth mocking, at this point:

    I’d bet on the side that has the doctors/nurses, college-educated people to run the grids, access to money, lives in the metro areas that support the rural areas, has a lower % of people who ride scooters at Walmart, & has a median age about 15 years younger than the other side. pic.twitter.com/dUAD29mFtX

    — Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) March 18, 2019

  43. 43.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 5:19 am

    @mrmoshpotato: he’s a real sweetheart, so just the chainmail.

  44. 44.

    Major Major Major Major

    March 18, 2019 at 5:30 am

    And I’m off to Taiwan!

  45. 45.

    Citizen Alan

    March 18, 2019 at 8:45 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    One, the cliched answer is that he has some loved whom he obsessively insists is so alive and E rejects suicide in favor of try to find and rescue her (or him, I suppose).

    Two, the aliens think they have a religious obligation to conquer other races and and enslave them it just because they can. Essentially, an allegory about manifest destiny.

  46. 46.

    cope

    March 18, 2019 at 10:10 am

    Since I saw “sports” as a topic of this thread, F1 is off and running after Australian GP yesterday. I hope Bottas can give Hamilton some stiff competition this season because it isn’t too likely any of the other manufacturers will have be able to consistently beat the Mercedes team (again!).

    Liverpool managed to make what should have been a romp into a bit of a nail-biter but solid Milner punched in that PK for the 3 points. Now to see how they hold up Wednesday.

    As for aliens taking all conscious humans away, maybe to put them into the human equivalent of an ant farm for scientific study? Entertainment for their kids? As components of their bio-based computer networks?

  47. 47.

    J R in WV

    March 18, 2019 at 11:14 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??:

    He lives in LA, is latino, works for JPL, and was in the Marine Corp of Engineers.

    No such thing at the Marine Corps of Engineers. The “Engineers” are the Navy’s builders, the SeaBees. They would do the building for the Marines.

  48. 48.

    stinger

    March 18, 2019 at 11:49 am

    @J R in WV: A friend was writing a novel and wanted one of his characters to be a Navy (for reasons XXX) Major (for reason that he liked the word). Had to explain military ranks to him.

    Abducting aliens would have their own perspective altogether. They might have thought they were saving humanity from overpopulation or other eco-disaster, or from an approaching asteroid. Or thought no more of putting them to work than humans think about putting horses to work.

    Sorrow and loneliness are emotions the main character would undoubtedly feel — but also anger, curiosity, and determination to find and rescue the missing. Any of those, along with the basic survival instinct, could overcome initial thoughts of self-destruction. Having him start out as a loner with no family ties is a cop-out. He needs those ties if he’s going to be motivated to team up with other aliens.

  49. 49.

    tybee

    March 18, 2019 at 11:49 am

    SeaBees = CBs = Construction Battalion

  50. 50.

    Aleta

    March 18, 2019 at 12:04 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: Super excited to get home and force it on him.

    Funniest ever.

  51. 51.

    Uncle Cosmo

    March 18, 2019 at 12:13 pm

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: OK, Baka Boy, here’s what you do: You can keep the coma bit (NB I had a cousin who spent weeks in a coma after an auto accident that killed his rider & one day just woke up – took him a bit to get back but you can finesse that) but as for the rest:

    The aliens get off telepathically on negative emotions (I think this was done once in something called the Space Vampies but, ehh) & they have transported the humans to a distant world where they will all be tormented endlessly for their amusement.

    After much struggle Our Hero gets captured & dragged before the Head Baddies & in a brilliant reversal argues that there is nothing they can do to H. saps that H. saps can’t (& don’t & won’t) do even worse to each other – & convinces them to put everyone back (with credit for time served including memory-wipe) & to construct a bunch of hidden enclaves on Earth with teleportals to the Baddies’ home world for their use as tourist hotels while we torment ourselves.

    Then close with the announcement of candidacy of one D. J. Trump…

    (Now how hard was that? Took me about 5 minutes & 45 seconds, mostly for the typing.)

  52. 52.

    Aleta

    March 18, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    1. Ryan Higa’s youtube of fails when making that Ultimate Trickshot video:
    Trickshot Fails! Behind The Scenes from our video The Ultimate Trickshot Dunk.
    3 days prep, an entire day of filming and 137 attempts

    2. The original YT video with sound. Starts at :28 after his into.
    Higa TV: The Ultimate Trickshot Dunk!

    3. Another one,: a dancing YT video he made out of a jillion billion stills of himself.
    Dancing Without Moving

  53. 53.

    barbequebob

    March 18, 2019 at 12:57 pm

    @tybee:

    plus “Corps of Engineers” = US Army Corps of Engineers

    Army and Navy are different branches of the military

  54. 54.

    cope

    March 18, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    @cope: Gack, don’t know how I got their schedule so wrong in my head, the Spurs game is not until 3/31. Whatever was I thinking?

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Furry Friends: OzarkHillbilly and His Beloved 4-Footed Friends (Repost)
Missing OzarkHillbilly (12/5/25)

2026 Pets of Balloon Juice Calendar

PLEASE REVIEW YOUR INFO ASAP

Recent Comments

  • Matt McIrvin on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Remember the ACA?… (Dec 5, 2025 @ 9:57am)
  • Paul in KY on Lawn Order Open Thread: Look, Over There! An Anarchist Pipe Bomber! (Dec 5, 2025 @ 9:56am)
  • jeff47 on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Remember the ACA?… (Dec 5, 2025 @ 9:55am)
  • Paul in KY on Lawn Order Open Thread: Look, Over There! An Anarchist Pipe Bomber! (Dec 5, 2025 @ 9:55am)
  • Baud on Ramblings on Friday Morning (Dec 5, 2025 @ 9:53am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
On Artificial Intelligence (7-part series)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix
Rose Judson (podcast)

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!