Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We still have time to mess this up!

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

White supremacy is terrorism.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

I didn’t have alien invasion on my 2023 BINGO card.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

“woke” is the new caravan.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / GOP Stupidity Open Thread: Botching the Mueller Report Rollout

GOP Stupidity Open Thread: Botching the Mueller Report Rollout

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“The President trusts me. Also, TBH, he couldn’t read a four-page letter, much less a 400-page report.”

Barr hasn’t much credibility to lose, but it’s gotta sting that this meme is being circulated so widely:

Even McConnell’s getting a little frazzled around the edges:

Reader Interactions

130Comments

  1. 1.

    Bruuuuce

    ::stands and applauds Rep. Nadler::

    Can we have a few hundred more like him, but younger, with diverse genders and ethnicities (and other representational aspects), please?

  5. 5.

    Wapiti

    So if Don Junior lied to Congress and/or the investigation and if Eric Prince lied to Congress and/or the investigation, but Barr chooses not to have them tried for perjury/obstruction, do they magically become peripheral third parties?

  8. 8.

    Mike in NC

    Fat Bastard couldn’t read a two-page Executive Summary of the Barr Report (during Executive Time, of course) even if it only consisted of six PowerPoint bullet points that had “Trump” listed in every bullet.

  11. 11.

    Bruuuuce

    @sukabi: It does. (Mine, AOC, among them.) I just want to see a few hundred more, willing to tell the party of lies to go fsck itself for every single falsehood, evasion, misleading statement, disingenuousness, and generally to call bull on them at every turn.

  13. 13.

    Gin & Tonic

    @sukabi: Not disgreeing with you, and no disrespect to the freshman class, but Nadler’s in his 14th term, and that means he can respond to the AG in a way that someone in her first term wouldn’t be able to.

  14. 14.

    Gin & Tonic

    @Cheryl Rofer: Hey, I asked you in another thread, but maybe you didn’t see it, or maybe I didn’t catch the response, but I was just curious (and too lazy to search) whether Mark Hibbs is still writing about proliferation issues.

  15. 15.

    B.B.A.

    I’m going to dissent here. The “full unredacted Mueller report” is going to be our version of the “long form birth certificate.” It won’t tell us anything we want to hear, the enemy knows it, and they’re keeping it secret just to fuck with us. And then they can parade it around as a victory banner, mock us for believing it was a magical silver bullet, etc.

    I could be wrong – I WANT to be wrong – but I doubt it.

  19. 19.

    chopper

    @B.B.A.:

    i don’t agree. even ignoring the evidence in the full report as to trump, the first god-knows how many pages are going to lay out exactly how the russian government and intelligence services basically bought the presidency for trump. when people see all of that all lined up in one single report it’s going to be a huge reminder of how trump didn’t win the election fair and square.

    this is one of the reasons why they’re fighting so hard to bury it. even if it ends up exonerating the guy, and i’m not saying it will, it’s still going to knock a bunch off his approval rating just for that shit.

  25. 25.

    mrmoshpotato

    OT: Dump’s stuffed crust pizza commercial – violent and repulsive content or not?

  26. 26.

    B.B.A.

    @gwangung: Well, considering how Nadler is half the man he used to be, if we’ve been maintaining the poundage we should be fine.

  27. 27.

    tobie

    For years we thought Republicans were good at shaping the media narrative, even if they couldn’t govern at all, but this week has made me reevaluate that line. Any decent party would have tried to gain the upper moral hand once the report came in. Yes, they would have lied about the report but they would have used it as an occasion to say something like, “Now that the report has been completed and no one has been indicted, it is time to turn the page for the good the country.” But these folks are just to petty and venal to do this. What drives them is the desire to smash Democrats, and now they look like pretty inept hoodlums to most of the country.

  28. 28.

    tobie

    Sally Yates has a good op ed up on the Washington Post website. She had this to say about collusion:

    While Barr’s letter states that the investigation did not establish that the campaign reached an agreement with the Russian government to take actions to impact the election in Trump’s favor, it reveals that the campaign did field “multiple offers from Russian-affiliated individuals to assist the Trump campaign.” Yet President Trump and others have repeatedly claimed that they had no contact with Russians…Moreover, the Trump campaign did not bring the Russian outreach to the attention of law enforcement but secretly allowed a foreign adversary’s assistance…Why was the Trump campaign willing to allow the help of one of the country’s foremost geopolitical adversaries?

  29. 29.

    Jay

    Less than 4 full Scaramucci’s from Victory Lap/ Endzone Dance day to full proctological exam for the “no collusion” book report.

    Barr’s “those reading Moby Dick looking for whales will be deeply disappointed” unread Coles Notes summary ain’t going well.

  30. 30.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Barr is such a maroon. He was hired to fluff Donald, and here he is failing even at that.

  32. 32.

    Ruckus

    @Jager:
    Because McConnell knows what he’s done, he knows what Trump has done, he knows what republicans have done. He may not know every detail but he knows the gist at the very least. Because he’s involved. He’s one of the people that have to go and one that will most likely go if the report is released to the public.

  33. 33.

    sukabi

    @tobie: they were trying to shape the media narrative, and they may have been successful IF drumpf could keep his nasty, vindictive mouth shut. But he can’t and he’s given permission, marching orders more likely, that the louder and more vindictively petty they all are the Ds will fold and his problems will go away.

    Glad to see that the D leadership isn’t in a “look forward” state of mind.

  35. 35.

    Cheryl Rofer

    @Gin & Tonic: It’s a pretty small community. The Carnegie Conference had about 700 people there. Most of us at least know of each other. I lucked out the first time I attended, and wound up sitting next to Mark for lunch.

  38. 38.

    TaMara (HFG)

    @Cheryl Rofer: Ain’t that the truth. And Barr sure acts like someone who is going to buckle – he thought he was going to get all the accolades and gold by writing that original memo – probably thought it would get him some cushy post with Trump. But now he AG instead and it looks like he’s going to be the fall guy and public opinion (something 77% want to see the report) is against him, he sure seems to be scrambling.

  41. 41.

    Brickley Paiste

    @Bruuuuce:
    We need far more people from South Dakota.

    I mean, how many have you met, really.

    That’s the kind of di-vers-i-ty we need out her on the great plains.

  46. 46.

    Cheryl Rofer

    @TaMara (HFG): Trump has made it pretty clear this week, in case it wasn’t before, that he will trash any of his underlings. Look at poor little Betsy DeVos, set up so Trump can look like a hero restoring the budget for Special Olympics. You may be right that Barr thought he’d get different treatment, but apparently Trump’s desire to sink the ACA didn’t look like a good idea to Barr, but now that’s his assignment, although I think that’s one that might get quietly buried. Republican mucky-mucks know what that’s going to contribute to next year’s election.

  50. 50.

    Chetan Murthy

    I saw “West By God Virgina values in San Francisco drag”, and I thought: “well, SF values aren’t all that these days”. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/mar/28/san-francisco-gofundme-homeless-shelter-embarcadero

    San Franciscans raise $70,000 to stop homeless shelter in wealthy area

    That title isn’t completely accurate. The “wealthy area” only became wealthy in the last 10 or so years; before that, it was pretty run-down. These rich techies make me embarrassed to be a techie. Such assholes.

  51. 51.

    Brickley Paiste

    @Chetan Murthy:
    Absofuckinglutely.

    SF is dead as a cultural force, except for the all powerful force to turn every human interaction into some form of data that can be bought and sold.

  52. 52.

    Jay

    @Chetan Murthy:

    So a rich techie enclave that used to be seedy raised enough money in a go fund me to pay for discovery by a pretty seedy lawyer?

    Steve in the Where the Hell Now wouldn’t even take it as a retainer to Union Bust wobblies in Portland.

  59. 59.

    opiejeanne

    @B.B.A.: You realize, don’t you, that the 400-1000 page Mueller Report is really a SUMMARY of everything he and his Grand Jury discovered, every interview, every piece of evidence, etc. That is what Nadler is asking for, and it’s a lot more than 1000 pages.
    And I doubt that Barr read more than a little of it.
    Yes, they’re fucking with us but they’re not subtle enough to do what you think they’re doing. They’re just trying to keep from showing it to us, that is the only way they are fucking with us.

  61. 61.

    Mike J

    Hey Jay, more boat news. Inspected an Etchells today that is being donated to our club. She’s an old hull, but basically sound and hotter than anything we own. I want it, I think everyone on the board wants it, but our prez is afraid it’s too complicated for bears of little brain like us.

    Also, looks like I have a weeknight J-105 ride for a casual series. So more experience on different boats, hobnobbing with different skips, all of which will help with next years campaign of getting on Swiftsure. (Too late for this year’s I think.)

  62. 62.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Since this is an open thread: I had couple of very cool things happen at work today. First, I had a client from Zambia in my office today. He had come in to get see if I could solve a tax issue for me. When he saw that I was able to save him about $6k, he literally jumped to his feet and danced around my office. Second, I had another client with whom I have been working for about three years bring in his wife to meet me. After all this time, she was finally able to come to the US from Morocco with a green card in hand. Sometimes, a good day just happens along.

  63. 63.

    Jay

    @Mike J:

    Nice hot rod,

    Try not to break it.

    Funny isn’t it, the difference between a plodder, and a hot rod , in monohulls is only a few knots and more strings to pull?

    I spent so much time in harness re-rigging and adding strings to my Columbia 26 MKII, that I think I broke some of my junk.

  64. 64.

    Jay

    @opiejeanne:

    Actually, the Meuller Report would have started out with an Executive Summary,

    Barr could have just released that, but no,

    And he couldn’t even manage to properly rat fuck that.

  65. 65.

    opiejeanne

    @Cheryl Rofer: I haven’t heard a word about whether the $51 million for autism support programs will be restored to the budget. Everyone was focused on the Special Olympics that the other, whatever happened to it, hasn’t been reported widely. I’ve hunted around for it but haven’t found much other than the announcement that the budget would be cut.

  66. 66.

    Jay

    @Tim C.:

    Yup, have for a long time.

    Micro’s have kinda been ruined for me. All I want is a plain, simple, brown ale, or a porter, and instead I have to dig through shelf after shelf of trendy pretensious crap.

  67. 67.

    Jay

    @opiejeanne:

    The budget has to pass the House, then the Senate.

    Think of Administration budgets as more like guidelines, than rules,

    Cue Adam’s favorite Pirates of the Carribean clip here,….

  68. 68.

    Omnes Omnibus

    Have the damned FYWP squirrels started working to rule or is it just the fucking connatix autoplay ad?

  69. 69.

    piratedan

    @Jay: depends on your POV, he didn’t release the executive summary yet, did he? So, in short I’d say that he most likely DID properly ratfuck it since no one else has seen it yet.

  70. 70.

    sdhays

    @Omnes Omnibus: We’re going to need to see the full, unredacted comment by April 2.

    And congrats on the nice day. Being able to make a material difference in clients’ lives is a great feeling.

  73. 73.

    trollhattan

    Asteroid v. dinosaur fans, this is for you.

    Scientists have found an extraordinary snapshot of the fallout from the asteroid impact that wiped out the dinosaurs 66 million years ago.

    Excavations in North Dakota reveal fossils of fish and trees that were sprayed with rocky, glassy fragments that fell from the sky.The deposits show evidence also of having been swamped with water – the consequence of the colossal sea surge that was generated by the impact.

    The detail is reported in PNAS journal.

    Robert DePalma, from the University of Kansas, and colleagues say the dig site, at a place called Tanis, gives an amazing glimpse into events that probably occurred perhaps only tens of minutes to a couple of hours after the giant asteroid hit the Earth. When this 12km-wide object slammed into what is now the Gulf of Mexico, it would have hurled billions of tonnes of molten and vaporised rock into the sky in all directions – and across thousands of kilometres.

    And at Tanis, the fossils record the moment this bead-sized material fell back down and strafed everything in its path. Fish are found with the impact-induced debris embedded in their gills. They would have breathed in the fragments that filled the water around them.

    There are also particles caught in amber, which is the preserved remnant of tree resin. It is even possible to discern the wake left by these tiny, glassy tektites, to use the technical term, as they entered the resin.

    Hey, something good from North Dakota.

  74. 74.

    opiejeanne

    @Jay: Oh, I’m aware that Congress and Nancy Smash aren’t going to play nice with that ridiculous proposal Trump is calling a budget. That’s not the point I was trying to make. I was asking where the loud angry commentary was about the loss of that much money from the autism programs. There hasn’t been much noise about that travesty.

  75. 75.

    SFAW

    @Tim C.:

    We have better beer in Oregon.

    Right. And the Traitor-in-Chief is the world’s bestest businessman, and a sooper-jeenyus.

    I think you Oregonians see “Portland has excellent breweries,” and mistakenly assume it’s referring to that pretender on the Columbia/Willamette.

  76. 76.

    Jay

    @piratedan:

    Nope, the Trumpist End Zone Victory lap lasted all of 4 Saramucci’s.

    Now he’s in stall and delay readaction mode,

    And Nadler’s not having any of his shit. April 2nd, unredacted report and all the backup docs to Commitee or Barr’s ass is grass.

  80. 80.

    Jay

    @opiejeanne:

    In the time of the Insane Clown POSus the only thing larger than the US deficit, is the outrage deficit. There’s only so much to go around.

  82. 82.

    piratedan

    @Jay: how?

    what’s Nadler going to do?

    arrest him?

    with what law enforcement agency that can lay hands on the Attorney General?

  83. 83.

    Jay

    @SFAW:

    BCLB has a bunch of Oregon microbrews on the shelf. None from Maine.

    My favorite two BC microbrews are long gone, Black Bear Brown Ale, and Old Woodenhead Smoked Porter, replaced by stuff with fruit juice in it.

  84. 84.

    Bill Arnold

    @Jay:

    Actually, the Meuller Report would have started out with an Executive Summary,
    Barr could have just released that, but no,

    There is the possibility that the Executive Summary would freak D.J. Trump out, and Barr was attempting to avoid going even there.
    Don’t know if Mueller would have attempted a weaponized Executive Summary.
    Anyway, too much speculation. Need to see the real thing.

  86. 86.

    piratedan

    @Jay: you might try the full sail or deschutes brewery selections, when I was caretaking in Hood River they had a fair assortment that weren’t too radical

  88. 88.

    Jay

    @opiejeanne:

    It’s fancier and has attracted almost as many “sports fans” as the regular Olympics. So the impact is far and wide, given the medal sweep last time.

  89. 89.

    piratedan

    @Jay: I’m all for someone putting the screws to Barr, lets see if he folds or if he doubles down. Based on what you’ve seen out of this admin, how would you bet?

    Do you think Nadler has the stones to arrest him with the Capitol Police?

  90. 90.

    GregB

    The Trump volk are getting wound into a frenzy.

    This fucking blubberhead Barr better pull his head out of Dirty Don’a ass soon.

    Now Trump is cutting all aid to central America. He wants an unmitigated disaster so he can use emergency powers.

    It is gonna be a long hot summer.

    And fuck Alex Jones.

  91. 91.

    Jay

    @piratedan:

    Drinking Red Truck Round Trip out of YVR mostly, now.

    Make an occasional round trip up to Sorrento to pick up a pony keg from these guys,

    https://www.crannogales.com

    Knew them when they were punks in the YVR BDSM scene 20 years ago in Vancouver.

    Small world syndrom.

  92. 92.

    Jay

    @piratedan:

    Barr will fold, and as you might have noticed, less than three months in, the House ain’t taking shyte.

    Nancy’s gonna smash.

    But you give them enough rope to hang themselves first.

  94. 94.

    piratedan

    @Jay: let us hope so… I am quite confident that Nancy Smash has the stones, I don’t know enough about Nadler to say. There are some concerns in the Dem ranks, I really don’t have a lot of trust in Hoyer, but Nancy’s other consigliere like Cummings and Lieu and Waters, those folks have impressed me with their turns in the public eye.

  96. 96.

    sukabi

    @piratedan: Barr will probably cut and run….while he’s been the cover up king for a couple of past R presidents the difference is they all had competent people surrounding them that could “maintain discipline” and keep their stories straight …there is absolutely no one in the drumpf orbit that could change a light bulb without fucking it up.

  97. 97.

    Jay

    @piratedan:

    The easiest way to put it, is Barr’s “people reading Moby Dick are going to be disappointed there are no whales” unread Coles Notes unsummary is being walked back, desperately, by Barr, in less than 4 Saramucci’s.

    That’s something we havn’t seen in 2 years.

  100. 100.

    smike

    @chopper:

    Also, too, if the report ‘tots exonerates fat boy’, the FTFNYT would have the unredacted report on the front page before the congress even got a peek.

  101. 101.

    hervevillechaizelounge

    @Chetan Murthy:

    This may be an unpopular opinion but I don’t blame those folks in San Francisco for not wanting a homeless shelter to open in their neighborhood—-it will adversely effect their property values and most (many?) folks have all of their wealth tied up in real estate.

    I used to live diagonally across from a (wet) homeless shelter and it was horrifying: I can’t even count how many times I saw men literally defecating in the streets. Sometimes they’d piss on our doors for fun. They littered with gleeful abandon.

    As a woman I never felt safe. The residents loved to waylay me while I was walking my dog to panhandle and sexually harass me; the shelter was chock full of sex offenders and recent parolees so I never knew who was dangerous.

    We need to make a distinction between the homeless and the unhomed; some people want help and some only want just enough enabling to stay drunk 24/7. I can’t believe I’m saying this but, “Team NIMBY!”

  103. 103.

    Sab

    @hervevillechaizelounge: Ick ick ick re your comment.

    I am also a woman and I have had homeless friends.I can’t stand NIMBY arguments. I live in a lower middle class neighborhood and we deal with stuff by dealing with it, not by tossing it out to neighborhoods that can’t.

  109. 109.

    Shalimar

    @piratedan: My bet is that arresting anyone is Pelosi’s call, not any of the chairs. And I think it will happen at some point in the next 6 months.

  114. 114.

    SFAW

    @Mnemosyne:

    Point of order: the dinosaurs weren’t wiped out. They grew feathers, shrank down, and took to the skies.

    You’re forgetting the ones that Republican Jeebus rode as he wiped out the Lie-berals with his Thompson

  115. 115.

    SFAW

    @Jay:

    BCLB has a bunch of Oregon microbrews on the shelf. None from Maine.

    I’m guessing that the “BC” in “BCLB” stands for “British Columbia.” If that’s the case, then I guess that’s kind of like saying the the New Brunswick liquor stores only have brews from Maine, none from Oregon. Or Washington. Or California.

    Now, if the “BC” stands for “Boston College,” that might change things. But, something tells me it doesn’t.

    Bissell Brothers

  116. 116.

    SFAW

    @plato:

    Theresa May: May be I will get lucky the 4th time around.

    “There’s NO fuck in chocolate!”
    “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

    [Sorry, punchline from a very old joke, which is amazingly applicable to this situation.]

  117. 117.

    trnc

    @Barbara:

    So which people in which neighborhoods deserve to be harassed like this?

    None. The shelter HVL describes is another example of a public service not getting the financial support it needs because trillions of dollars are shoveled to billionaires who already paid little or no income taxes. Ideally, publicly funded prisons would have a better chance of rehabilitation prisoners instead of sending a shitload of money to private prison corps, public services would be available to help get ex-cons back into society and the shelters would be run well enough that HVL doesn’t have to endure what she does with the one near her.

    HVL, not all shelters are like the one near you. There’s one near the middle of our town that I donate to, and it appears to be pretty well run. It doesn’t seem any more dangerous to walk by it at night than other areas in our fairly safe town.

    Everyone shaming HVL, give her a break. Her experience is shaping her opinion, which is certainly more valid than the conspiracy crap we have to read about from professional republicans every day. If you have a story about a well run shelter, maybe share that instead of yelling at her.

  118. 118.

    Just One More Canuck

    @Jay: it seems that a lot of micros spend more on marketing and labels than they do on making a decent beer
    Vancouver Island Brewery in Victoria has some very nice non pretentious beers which unfortunately they don’t ship to Ontario. Every time I go to BC I make sure to bring some back

  119. 119.

    frosty

    @SFAW: I can’t believe I never heard that joke before. Also, it’s the first time I typed something (the punch line) into Google and got NO suggestions.

  122. 122.

    SFAW

    @frosty:

    I can’t tell if you’re being serious, or ironic/snarky. Assuming serious: shall I give you the abbreviated version? [If ironic/snark: no problem, just need to recalibrate my irony/snark-o-meter ]

    ETA: And I see Another Scott has located the joke to which I was referring. The version I know is slightly different [“Take the ‘wal’ out of ‘walnut’ and what do you have? Take the ‘straw’ out of ‘strawberry’ and what do you have? Take the ‘fuck’ out of ‘chocolate,’ and what do you have?”]

  123. 123.

    SFAW

    @Another Scott:

    Thanks for your help! As I noted to frosty, that’s the one.

    I heard that one Back In The Before Time, i.e., when I was in college, lo these many years ago. It’s one of the few I can still remember.

  124. 124.

    Citizen_X

    @Booger: Yes, “something somewhere” being the flying branch of the dinosaurs: subclass Aves, the birds.

    Nothing about that report changes the extensive fossil and genetic data upon which that interpretation is based.

  125. 125.

    cwmoss

    @Jay: At this time of day, we’re definitely wobbly here in Stumptown, Wobblies and non-Wobblies alike.

  128. 128.

    JoeyJoeJoe

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: As a tour guide on Capitol Hill, I was involved in an incident with the Capitol Hill police once. A student tried to sneak marijuana into the Capitol, and was caught at the bag search area. He got arrested, and the police turned the tunnel to the Capitol into a temporary jail cell, forcing everyone waiting to pass through to have to walk half a mile or so to the next entrance

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