april fools is impossible now. i just woke up to “elon musk drops rap single about harambe” and “mussolini’s granddaughter is beefing with jim carrey on twitter” and neither of them were jokes
— ✨ ᴀᴘʜᴇx ?️? ᴛᴡɪɴᴋ ✨ (@thenatbird) April 1, 2019
But could you imagine a president who used this website to make dad jokes rather than to hurl insults? Happy #AprilFools. #VoteDem2020
— James Comey (@Comey) April 1, 2019
April Fools is for shit-posting what New Year's is for drinking. All the clueless amateurs take a stab at it and the world's quantifiably worse off for it.
— Devin Nunes' Mullet (@Zeddary) April 1, 2019
Like, for instance, everyone in the Squatter-in-Chief’s orbit…
Sadly this shit will probably end up on Trump's Twitter before too long https://t.co/o7jyYWi2xo
— Wonkette (@Wonkette) April 1, 2019
NotMax
Put this downstairs right before this thread appeared.
Good a place as any for the annual mention of the classic BBC April Fool video.
Adam L Silverman
Kassie Hunt appears to have contracted the same thing that is afflicting Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ face. I believe it is called Picasso Facial Syndrome. I hope MSNBC can get her treated ASAP!
SiubhanDuinne
I felt myself to be well-armed throughout the day, and fell for none of the fairly ham-handed and obvious pranks.
Then in the evening I stopped in at my favourite bar, and at one point the manager — whom I’ve known for 25-30 years, and who is a close personal friend — came over, caught me up on her new grandson and her mother’s most recent hospitalisation — and then said, confidingly, “I just handed in my two weeks’ notice this morning.”
Yeah, I fell for it.
Major Major Major Major
Fuuuuck I somehow missed that Comey one. So that’s what Yglesias and Barro were chatting about.
Gin & Tonic
@Major Major Major Major:
Hard to imagine a less compelling lede.
jl
Maybe it’s just me, but I think Comey’s April Fools dad joke about some doofus wandering down the middle for the road waiting for a whacked out trucker to flatten him like pancake is in questionable taste. I thought Comey was the Last Righteous Man. I am disillusioned and feel ‘used’.
Major Major Major Major
@Gin & Tonic: all the people worse than them who I don’t even follow on twitter, perhaps.
Steve in the ATL
@Adam L Silverman: cue Devo’s “through being cool”
B.B.A.
“#VoteDem2020”
Shit. I agree with Comey about something. Are these the end times?
jl
@Adam L Silverman: From the link: “Kasie Hunt’s face is the exact same face you will have if you watch the interview and try to make sense”
We can all contract ‘Picasso Facial Syndrome’ in extreme situations. I watched the interview. So, of course this poor interviewer looks like she is watching an inside out vampire cows trying to eat four dimensional Martians. I think she did pretty good.
ThresherK
@NotMax: How can I have not seen this before?
NotMax
@Gin & Tonic
“Tickets go on sale today for Gohmert and Palin symposium.”
mrmoshpotato
@NotMax: What is this ridiculousness?
Everyone knows spaghetti grows in fields that are 2 miles long and 1 inch wide.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I never heard of an “E-score”, and have no idea what it really means, but there are some funny tidbits in this article, I suspect it’s the kind of thing trump may stumble over while reading tweets about himself
jl
@mrmoshpotato: Every school child knows, or would know if our schools were any good, that spaghetti is mined along the Italian and Swiss border deep underneath the alps. What do people think the great, very short, but horrifically bloody, Italo-Swiss Spaghetti War was about?
lamh36
Smh…use the Black woman to prop up the white guy du jour…smh
This is not on Pete, this is on the journo…so this is what we have to look forward to until this thing is done huh…smh…
Neither of their points make any sense other than a way to prop up the latest big thing.
Oh…and I saw a report that said Warren fundraising was lagging? I think it's caus so many folks gave money to folks like Pete and forgot that fundraising numbers also matter for the "narrative" as it does to get on the debate stage.
Liz Warren isn't my candidate, but I did contribute to her campaign because too many folks are sending money to the newest and forgetting that the not so flashy but steady candiate needs fundraising nubmers too.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I can’t believe that up until now, my contempt for this moron was an overestimation
jl
@lamh36: Often, Cillizza takes the ‘Conventional’ out of ‘Conventional Wisdom’. But somehow, he keeps his gig. I dunno how.
I’ll always remember Cillizza as the goofus who typed up Michelle Obama as a front runner for 2020 Presidential run. Because if she wanted to, she could raise a shitload of money. Forget that fact that Ms. Obama repeatedly said that she doesn’t want to run for office, and never wants to live in the WH in any official capacity ever again. But Cillizza had some words to type up before deadline, so he threw that in, even though such slop would get him fired from any teen fan magazine.
OTOH, no point in you getting upset by mindless drivel churned out and typed up by the likes of Cillizza, it is brainless stuff. He can put out any kind of nonsense to make his quota of infotainment product each day, and has no scruples how he does it.
Edit: And remember, some media drone similar to Cillizza has determined that Harris is not, beyond a reasonable doubt, ‘authentically black’ enough, or whatever.
mrmoshpotato
I’m my own face trying to figure out why MSNBC has a convicted felon on TV.
mrmoshpotato
@jl: Are you saying my grandpa had bad information?
I demand you defend yourself with a Wikipedia article!
B.B.A.
@lamh36: Didn’t Lizza get #MeToo’d, or am I confusing him with another interchangeable douchebag?
My standard of a lifetime ban from all gainful employment on the first complaint may be a bit harsh, but cases like this make me think it’s justified.
Matt McIrvin
I always remember how on Buffy the Vampire Slayer it was established lore that vampires and demons don’t go out on Halloween if they don’t have to, because it’s amateur night, and it’s just embarrassing mingling with a bunch of humans trying to act spooky.
Mainmata
@NotMax: I have always loved that just for its reportorial simplicity.
Mary G
@lamh36: I’m beginning to wonder if the media’s ignoring Kamala might be a good thing. She’s out talking to huge crowds, pulling in big money, and the ratfuckers are working on Biden.
Kdaug
I was given some candy that turns my poop green.
lamh36
@B.B.A.: yeah…he had something, but I think it ended up being an issue of a consensual relationship that turned into bitter exes?
So I don’t recall if it went somewhere
sukabi
@Adam L Silverman: it’s her “If I have to listen to any more of of this ridiculous lying clown’s bullshit my head’s gonna cave in” look.
Sarah’s look comes from being immersed in ridiculous bullshit from the time she was born.
lamh36
@jl: BTW, not “upset” about it…just noticed that 2 seperate white male journos with the SAME take…so expect more of that narrative.
sukabi
@jl: some folks {{comey}} just don’t know when to shut the f up.
Kay
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Here’s how:
jl
@B.B.A.: Only thing either number means, as far as I am concerned, is that it is a good sign that several of the Democratic candidates can raise such impressive amounts without relying on PAC money.
Hope they can keep it up. As to comparing Harris and Buttigieg on one reporting number, it is very stupid, and insulting to both of them. Cillizza just types up cr*p to stir up cr*ppy controversies because it is his cr*p job to do that, and it often seems to do little else but that.
So, I hope everyone excuse me, I have to go read some deep analysis on how Harris is in political trouble because she is neither authentically black nor authentically South Asian enough, and if you squint right at youtube clips, Buttigieg may have blinked in a weird sort of way when speaking in support progressive policies, so he is vaguely untrustworthy on everything.
jl
@lamh36: Oh, OK. Thanks. Glad you are not upset. By now, I don’t expect anything but stereotypical and hackneyed week old tripe from the media CW political horse race touts.
sukabi
@B.B.A.: the vote dem 2020 didn’t get added until he got flayed for the image with “I’m in. 2020.”
Gin & Tonic
@Kay: Is she running for political office or sainthood?
Kay
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
Her website says the DNC requires 65,000 donations to qualify for the debates, which is not true:
lamh36
Anyone from the NYC/Bronx area?
I’m just wondering if any has any idea bout this?
What is going on? If there is one thing I know, and any long term Congress person knows…good CONSTITUENT SERVICES is one of the MAIN reasons why folks win re-election. If you have shitty services…you can dang well expect to be primaried…or just not-reelected.
Major Major Major Major
@sukabi: eh, the second half of the joke kinda has to come after the first half.
Kay
@Gin & Tonic:
It’s none of my business but if I were her I would add some other people to the photographs of herself. Just a helpful suggestion. Put some supporters in there. She looks like she’s going on this mission alone.
lamh36
SMH….
“kinda of a joke”…HAHAHAH…BITCH
Major Major Major Major
@lamh36: from the Daily News a month ago:
ETA: Perhaps they were trying the old number. There’s also a New York Post from a couple days ago attacking her about not having much of a presence at local things, if you feel like googling it, no links for that rag though.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@lamh36: good god, I kind of feel bad because she’s so young, but…. my god she comes across as an unlikable person
lamh36
@Major Major Major Major: well that’s good thing.
Cause like i said…if you want to keep ur voters happy…CONSTITUENT SERVICES is key. And let m tell ya…them old ladies who call that number don’t forget and will talk to anyone about how bad their rep is based on that.
ETA: Also too…the folks who look for those services are the folks who don’t like to see their reps everywhere on tv but in the district.
Esp compared to say S. Davis…who has not only office, but did pop up consituent service meeting in her district untit she got an office
rzeecube
@jl: Where is Western Spagetti made?
jl
@lamh36: Certainly disturbing info, but I just called the numbers and capnamerica’s info doesn’t seem to be quite correct. Numbers are working but direct caller to web contact page. Not sure that is all that much better.
I’ll call her DC office tomorrow during work hours, see what is up.
Edit: commenter above mentioned AOC is blaming government shutdown. That should be easy to test. How many other freshpeople House members having trouble setting up constituent services because of that?
lamh36
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Notice the women of color and the looks she gets with that bullshit…it’s more to do with being young and WHITE
https://twitter.com/Hey_AshB/status/1112885033696673792
lamh36
@Major Major Major Major: Yeah, I saw that. It’s a thing for sure though…wasn’t the knock on Crowley that he spent more time in DC than with constituents in NYC?
Seems to me she’s learning that it wasn’t as easy to do as she thought….it’s a learning curve…but they types of folks who utilize those constituents services aren’t the type to let you use learning curve as an excuse for long
Mnemosyne
My favorite part of the Carrey/Mussolini beef was that she kept posting memes about how terrible America has been to minorities throughout history.
Fun fact: Carrey is not American. He’s Canadian. So what about Rosa Parks, huh? is a pretty ridiculous comeback.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@lamh36: from the replies
lamh36
@lamh36: @Major Major Major Major:
They mentioned S. Davis
Here she is talking about a town hall she had…
maeve
@jl:
Oh contraire – it grows on trees https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU
lamh36
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: definition of “white privilege” in the flesh for sure.
Only someone used to that privilege, even on just a superficial level, would think…oh hey…let’s vote Trump . as a joke…who’s it gonna hurt…smh
Mnemosyne
@lamh36:
You definitely need to save that ankle-grab gif for election season. That made me duck and cover from my couch!
jl
@lamh36: As I recall, the big knock on Crowley was his role in running a local political machine that many perceived as having become corrupt and profited off of constituents. One of the reasons AOC ran was her family had a run-in with the Crowley machine, felt they got burned, and told their story, and that got a lot sympathy from the locals.
Anyway, since suspect constituent services, and rackets based on them, were big reasons Crowley ran into trouble, if AOC is not doing an grade A job on local services, she better fix that asap. A lot of people who voted for her will feel betrayed.
Adam L Silverman
@jl: I’ve seen one full interview with him (the one with Melber) and clips of a couple of others. That guy is an idiot. What he’s trying to sell makes no sense at all, whatsoever to anyone with any actual experience working in the national security, defense, and intel sectors. And there is no way, shape, or form the Israelis would use someone this stupid for anything.
lamh36
@Mnemosyne: listen…she is ALLL of us who are tired of Bernie-bros/girls shit…from way back in 2016!
Heck every woman on that panel…had the same done look, even the other white lady was like…”i don’t know her”…smh
The fact that she felt so comfortable tells ya her circle likely doesn’t include any people of color or non-Bernie bro people of color…cause she just knew she was gonna get cosigned by someone…smh
lamh36
@Mnemosyne: She was a FELLOW FOR THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY AND SHE COULDN’T VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRAT!!!
smh
jl
@Adam L Silverman: So, you got that inside out vampire cow vibe too?
Please post a clip of yourself watching the next Twilight Zone Trumpster interview and we’ll have a Picasso Face contest between you and Ms. Hunt.
sdhays
OT: This is nutballs:
When I asked my UK colleagues last year about this, they were supremely confident that “No Deal” would never happen, and they weren’t worried about it, despite how it was clear that there was no way to implement Brexit without it being clearly terrible and despite the utter shit show that was May’s performance as PM (and this was before she even had her stupid unworkable deal, which has made her stubborn ineptitude even more stark). We seem to be at the “Jesus, take the wheel” stage, and Jesus isn’t answering calls at the moment…
maeve
@mrmoshpotato:
:
@jl:
The real story: https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU
Thank god for the disappearance of the spaghetti weavil!
Mnemosyne
@lamh36:
Also look at the blonde woman in the pink sweater over her right shoulder who first covers her face with her hands and then becomes increasingly angry. She is NOT ON BOARD with this bullshit.
She’s holding back to let the non-white women speak first, but if a brawl starts, she’s gonna be back to back with that Black woman on the end taking on all comers. In her young white woman way she is PISSED.
I want a GIF of her to be my avatar for 2020.
Jay
@lamh36:
There’s ratfucking going on.
Major Major Major Major
@sdhays: I retweeted somebody today saying that Brexit has been like watching the U.K. elect trump every week for the last two and a half years.
jl
@Jay: I agree completely, But constituent services answer services that do nothing but direct the caller to a website is not a good sign. Maybe would be OK if everyone was tech savvy, synched up walking around with a smartphone, but AOC needs to do better.
Mnemosyne
@lamh36:
The pink sweater lady was looking at the non-white women like, “I got you, sis. I mean, if that’s the right phrase for this situation.”
I picture her like Eugene Levy in “Bringing Down the House.” ?
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@lamh36: how much you wanna bet that little Miss “I wanted socialism” gets an allowance?
lamh36
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: smh…just…I can’t even fathom that she came and just really said “it was a joke”..
Like…bish what?
Oh….kids in cages…so funny…
US rep all over the world in shambles…so funny…
white nationalist violence on the rise…sooooo funny….
and yet this chick STILL came in there and dropped that “it’s a joke” mess like it was gonna get a good reception…smh
Jay
@jl:
She will. As was noted up thread, she had variety of “issues” getting her local office up and running that were out of her control.
Why would Bronx constiuents be phoning to upstate New York, ( Troy) rather than across town, and why only Gullibrand?
Mnemosyne
@lamh36:
Oh, I’m sure the white dudes with tiki torches chanting, “Jews will not replace us” didn’t mean her, amirite? ?
Vhh
@Kay: Only the Dems would come up with such a complicated formula…
Mnemosyne
@Jay:
Gillibrand has an NYC office. Plus it’s pretty common for people to call around to different elected officials until they get some action. Gillibrand may have a better reputation in-state for constituent services than Schumer does.
Major Major Major Major
@Jay: possibly because she’s their senator?
Suzanne
@sdhays: I have been riveted by Brexit over the past few weeks. It’s just unbelievable to me how absolutely useless every one of them are. Just complete boneheads. Worst own-goal for a country in FSM knows how long.
And the result of the vote today is just as incredible. They all say they want a deal and then they can’t fucking get it together for ten goddamn minutes.
I feel like so many in that country (and ours) don the realize that taking second-best is a really good fucking option when you’re not going to get your first choice.
Bobby Thomson
@Kay: hold up. That’s the same mistake Nate Silver made yesterday. If more than 20 candidates qualify on a polling basis, which is entirely possible with statistical noise, the party reserves the right to go to the number of donors metric to trim it down.
Bobby Thomson
@Jay:
you mean your stray, unsourced, and unexplained claim of ratfucking?
Such as? The reason she doesn’t have a Bronx office is because she spent that part of her budget to increase starting salaries for all staffers. That’s her choice to make with its own pluses and minuses. One downside is that she doesn’t have as much money.
Who says they are?
Better service? Schumer doesn’t see the PR/money in it/has other stuff on his plate now as minority leader? Neighboring representatives have their own constituents to take care of?
Jay
@Mnemosyne: @Major Major Major Major:
Who’s running for the Democratic Presidential Cantidate position as center/right and the only sources are “anonamous”.
So either a Democratic Party Campaign is taking shots at a popular “Leftie” Democratic Party Representative for the MSM/RWNJ’s etc to weaponize,
Or there’s other ratfuckery going on.
When I worked at a Fortune 100, and people’s phone calls/emails were transferred to my office, because they couldn’t get ahold of whom they needed, I’d help them out as best as I gould, take notes, then let my colleague know. If it was systemic, I would help them out to fix the problem.
I wouldn’t leak it to the press to try and drive the stock down, or leak it to a VP to try to get a promotion.
Nothing like feeding the Dems in Disarray meme.
Jay
@Bobby Thomson:
Helps to read the thread. #40, #44,
She didn’t get the previous Office Holders Office, because of rent hikes,
So, she had to start from scratch,
And the money was delayed because of Insane Clown POSus’s Shutdowns.
lamh36
Like I said…apparently a memo went out to white male journos…to start this narrative…smh
So we have Cilizza, Lizza, Sam Stein (co-signing Lizza) and now Allen…who’s next Dave Weigel?
Tenar Arha
@lamh36: Yeah. I remembered at the last minute & decided on donating to Castro & Warren. I also added Doug Jones & then a bunch of Freshmen Representatives for good measure. (My Inbox will surely be fuller).
jl
@lamh36: Well, it’s silly. All this speculation off one report. And if Harris needs big bucks to run a long race, and has $5 million more than Buttigieg, and she has California to keep up her contributions, what will Buttigieg do after he taps out of Iowa and neighboring states? So, Harris is in objectively better shape? Who knows? God knows, probably.
How many contributors for both were one time, versus continuing? Who has a better mailing list?
I wish i could get a job pumping out such inane BS. But there seems to be a market for it. I think these people get big points for maintaining a high social media profile, so pumping out speculative BS on twitter counts for them, jobwise.
Jay
@lamh36:
Horseracers will look at anything, money, tea leaves, entrails,
anything to avoid substantive discussions about policy.
lamh36
@Tenar Arha: I’ve also contributed to Castro…I want him on that debate stage as much as some folks want Mayor Pete. I like that he doesn’t mind bringing it when it comes to Bernie. I think Pete being a past Bernie guy won’t be willing to stand up to Bernie’s shit in a debate.
We need folks who will bring it to Bernie and not let him take over the debate.
lamh36
@jl:@Jay: of course they’ll do what they always do…doesn’t mean folks shouldn’t push back against the bullshit…instead of letting it continue unchecked…
It may nott change much, but push back is better than nothing.
jl
@lamh36: But I got my quota of Cillizza bashing in already this quarter.
Mnemosyne
O@lamh36:
But we don’t need to look at sexism in the media, no sirree … ?
I have a feeling those white dudes have no idea how much money women have — particularly Black women — and how happy they’ll be to shovel it to Kamala as fast as they legally can.
Jay
@lamh36:
Thank you for your push back.
Eg. #76
Jay
@jl:
Do you want me to talk to Soros and get your quota raised?
Tenar Arha
@lamh36: Yeah, the AOC office was partly due to the shutdown, & I’d guess the availability or lack thereof of reasonably priced office space in NYC real estate market too. Also, I remembered she had a couple controversial town halls, because she kept the press out. IIRC She wanted anyone undocumented or their relatives to be able to speak freely.
Jay
@Tenar Arha:
Double yup,
evodevo
@jl: Just typical conservative “humor” – i.e. not humorous. You have to lose a normal sense of irony and everything else before being inducted into the RWNJ club…
J R in WV
Just want to say, spaghetti grows on trees. PBS had a piece on it some years ago about this time of year, with video of Italian peasants picking ripe bunches of spaghetti in a really good looking orchard, very similar to an olive grove.
It reminded me of an NPR story out of WI about the increasing demand for fondue, and the worry that the Fondue Lac might not suffice for the national fondue supply… no video with that story… wonder why? Nothing beats our public media on finding obscure yet important stories!