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You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / Late Night Open Thread: Jared Kushner Is Not Very Bright

Late Night Open Thread: Jared Kushner Is Not Very Bright

by Anne Laurie|  April 26, 201912:41 am| 48 Comments

This post is in: C.R.E.A.M., Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Russiagate, Trump Crime Cartel, Assholes, General Stupidity

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Hang on, hang on, let me get a pen. https://t.co/SDE7Bq1jFM

— Kevin M. Kruse (@KevinMKruse) April 25, 2019

Two and a half million his old man paid to get Young Jared into Harvard, and the kid still can’t buy a clue!

Jared Kushner, at the TIME 100 summit, just claimed that the ensuing investigations that stemmed from the Russia investigation have been more harmful to the country than the initial Russian interference itself, which he described as a couple of Facebook ads. @MSNBC

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) April 23, 2019

Per NYMag:

… Asked why the Trump campaign didn’t reject Russia’s attempts to swing the election toward the president, Kushner said, “The notion of what they were doing didn’t even register to us as being impactful. In the campaign we didn’t know that Russia was doing what it was doing.”

The idea that Russia’s election interference attempts could be reduced to “some Facebook ads” doesn’t comport with the Mueller report, the second sentence of which reads: “The Russian government interfered in the 2016 presidential election in sweeping and systematic fashion.”

The claim that the Trump campaign didn’t know what Russia was up to doesn’t fly either, especially coming from Kushner, who was one of several campaign members to attend a 2016 Trump Tower meeting that promised dirt on Hillary Clinton as a “part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump.”

Speaking of restoring felons’ voting rights…

Will Jared Kushner still get to vote for his father in law from Rikers Island

— ?? ???????????? ?????????????? (@KStreetHipster) April 25, 2019

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Reader Interactions

48Comments

  1. 1.

    Citizen Alan

    April 26, 2019 at 12:44 am

    Has anyone ever seen a picture of Jared Kushner in which he looked remotely human? I don’t understand how a living, breathing person could be in the Uncanny Valley.

  2. 2.

    NotMax

    April 26, 2019 at 12:45 am

    Just for the record, the prison on Riker’s Island is a city facility. Not state and not federal.

  3. 3.

    ??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??

    April 26, 2019 at 12:51 am

    @NotMax:
    This is going to come across as a silly question, but is it common for cities to run their own prisons?

  4. 4.

    Keith P.

    April 26, 2019 at 12:51 am

    @Citizen Alan: And his skin always has a weird glisten like he just came out of cryostatis (or uses masturbation-levels of moisturizer to actually, uh, moisturize his face)

  5. 5.

    The Dangerman

    April 26, 2019 at 12:54 am

    Has anyone explained to Jared that Asylum is legal? If so, has he told his FIL?

  6. 6.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 26, 2019 at 12:55 am

    @NotMax: Wouldn’t he be held there pending trail on any state charges? I’m sure that the Feds have their own pre-trail lockup in the city.

  7. 7.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 26, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: Cities and counties have their own jails.

  8. 8.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 12:56 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: Mayberry had a jail. Does that count?

    Say, does Mike Pence remind anyone else of Barney Fife?

  9. 9.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 26, 2019 at 12:59 am

    @prob50: Here’s the old Buttonwillow, CA city lockup.

  10. 10.

    Suzanne

    April 26, 2019 at 1:02 am

    @Keith P.: He likely uses highlighter. Which is weird. I don’t consider it an office look.

  11. 11.

    NotMax

    April 26, 2019 at 1:03 am

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    Offhand, I’d posit that county facilities are more common. NYC is pretty darn big though, and encompasses five counties. Riker’s Island is not the sole NYC incarceration facility.

  12. 12.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 1:03 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Ooh! T’would that we could one day see Donald Trump behind those bars or at least ones just like them.

    Not likely to find many gold-plated toilets in them.

  13. 13.

    prostratedragon

    April 26, 2019 at 1:06 am

    @prob50: I think Barney was more of a good soul once you get past him being the town’s incipient gauleiter, or as Andy would put it, a nut. And he did seem to have a way with animals.

  14. 14.

    NotMax

    April 26, 2019 at 1:12 am

    @prob50

    If anyone, Warren Ferguson (Barney Fife’s replacement).

  15. 15.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 1:13 am

    @prostratedragon: I was only referring to intelligence, because Barney was certainly a decent person, while Pence is just another nasty, mean-spirited little imitation of a human being. Or as they are often referred to “Republican politicians”

  16. 16.

    Mary G

    April 26, 2019 at 1:16 am

    Jared must be prosecuted and found guilty and be incarcerated or America is doomed.

  17. 17.

    NotMax

    April 26, 2019 at 1:19 am

    @prob50

    Not likely to find many gold-plated toilets in them.

    People who live in crass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

    ;)

  18. 18.

    Mr. Kite

    April 26, 2019 at 1:25 am

    This guy. Wonder what the street price for President’s Daily Brief is?

  19. 19.

    Keith P.

    April 26, 2019 at 1:32 am

    @Mary G: It’s already doomed – it was built on a Native American burial ground. A bunch of them, actually.

  20. 20.

    Aleta

    April 26, 2019 at 1:35 am

    I like how Fox centered Jared’s grand two-point approach in the middle of the screen. It looks as vacuous as his face.

  21. 21.

    divF

    April 26, 2019 at 1:43 am

    @?BillinGlendaleCA: Once you showed that (your own work, I presume) I thought to see if the McKittrick jail is still around.

    ETA: It looks like they took the building and moved it to Taft.

  22. 22.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 1:49 am

    @divF: Now THAT’S a JAIL! Doesn’t look like it would have been much fun to spend much time there.

    The old Mayberry town drunk (don’t remember his name) certainly might have considered sobriety if the town jail had looked like that.

  23. 23.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 26, 2019 at 1:53 am

    @divF: Yes, that’s my pic from last Friday’s journey, it’s looks like the McKittrick jail is still at the Fort in Taft(at least according to Google Maps).

  24. 24.

    Amir Khalid

    April 26, 2019 at 1:55 am

    @The Dangerman:

    If so, has he told his FIL?

    Probably not. Donald Sr doesn’t react well to bad news.

  25. 25.

    Jay

    April 26, 2019 at 1:59 am

    https://www.salon.com/2019/04/24/hasan-minhaj-called-out-to-jared-kushner-to-his-face-and-it-worked/

  26. 26.

    danielx

    April 26, 2019 at 2:07 am

    @prob50:

    This is true. There’s a reason Pence jumped into the VP spot back in 2016, that being it was apparent that he was going to get beaten like a rented mule when he ran for a second term. After making the state look like a fucking laughingstock, you could say we’d had enough of his shit. Eric Holcomb, his Republican former Lt Guv replacement is, yes, a Republican shitheel, but he tends more towards being an ordinary corrupt business Republican. Although he has his share of culture war skeletons rattling around his own self…

  27. 27.

    M. Bouffant

    April 26, 2019 at 2:12 am

    “Senior White House Advisor”

  28. 28.

    M. Bouffant

    April 26, 2019 at 2:14 am

    @prob50: Otis.

  29. 29.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 2:17 am

    @M. Bouffant: Ah, Thanx. I knew it was’t Floyd (the barber, right?), but just couldn’t think of his name.

  30. 30.

    mrmoshpotato

    April 26, 2019 at 2:18 am

    I still want the hangings of the mobbed-up, money-laundring, pussy-grabbing, fat orange fascist, Soviet shitpile crime family to be televised.

    There’d be poetic justice in hanging them in New York’s Central Park. Just saying.

  31. 31.

    prob50

    April 26, 2019 at 2:21 am

    @mrmoshpotato: You wouldn’t be talkin’ ’bout anybody we know of, would ya’?

  32. 32.

    prostratedragon

    April 26, 2019 at 3:06 am

    From Earle Hagan’s outstanding score to the show,

    “Manhunt,” or Barney Fife’s Theme Song

  33. 33.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 26, 2019 at 3:18 am

    Speaking of Barney Fife…

  34. 34.

    Mel

    April 26, 2019 at 3:37 am

    @Suzanne: Agreed. I always assumed that he was just a disturbingly moist creature, but now that you have pointed out the highlighter issue, I can see the oddly reflective patches on his cheekbones and center forehead where camera flashes are catching it.

    But what, I wonder, is he trying to accomplish with the highlighter? Create the illusion of chiseled cheekbones out of his weirdly featureless latex face? Or just camouflage his creepy, grey pallor?

    Either way, he appears to be about as skillful at cosmetic application as he is at everything else. So much repulsively moist, eerily reflective winning!!

  35. 35.

    patrick II

    April 26, 2019 at 4:03 am

    His extreme self-confidence in the face of his not very brightness is what is amazIing. He just floats along believing himself to be plunging the depths of our most difficult problems.

  36. 36.

    mrmoshpotato

    April 26, 2019 at 4:13 am

    @Mel:

    a disturbingly moist creature

    @Keith P.:

    or uses masturbation-levels of moisturizer to actually, uh, moisturize his face

    ??? Thank you both. Couple of geniuses you two.

  37. 37.

    joel hanes

    April 26, 2019 at 4:26 am

    @patrick II:

    His extreme self-confidence in the face of his not very brightness is

    exactly what we mean when we use the word “privilege”

  38. 38.

    JPL

    April 26, 2019 at 4:46 am

    @NotMax: lol

  39. 39.

    OzarkHillbilly

    April 26, 2019 at 5:15 am

    @NotMax: Most municipalities with their own police forces have their own jails, for municipal fund raising…. oops, I mean municipal violations and arrestees. County lock ups take longer term prisoners who are being held for trial on state charges.

  40. 40.

    OzarkHillbilly

    April 26, 2019 at 5:19 am

    @divF: That pales in comparison to the U City jail.

  41. 41.

    OzarkHillbilly

    April 26, 2019 at 5:23 am

    @patrick II: He’s never met a problem Daddy’s money couldn’t fix.

  42. 42.

    bemused

    April 26, 2019 at 7:30 am

    Malignant arrogant elitism syndrome ate up what few brain cells trump and company may have been born with. It’s no wonder Jared and Ivanka found each other. Birds of a feather.

  43. 43.

    Ohio Mom

    April 26, 2019 at 9:24 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: As NotMax points out, unlike most cities which are located IN a county, NYC is a city consisting OF five counties, though we usually just call them boroughs:
    Bronx County is called The Bronx;
    Queens County, Queens;
    Kings County, Brooklyn;
    New York County, Manhattan; and
    Richmond County, Staten Island.

    My sister and BIL were married by a justice of the Peace in Queens County Hall. They wore nice street clothes but other couples in line were wearing gowns and tuxes. It made a strange contrast with all the people walking briskly through the building taking care of the sorts of things one goes to a County Hall to do.

  44. 44.

    MomSense

    April 26, 2019 at 10:48 am

    @Citizen Alan:

    Wait a couple of years when he turns into Voldemort. He probably hasn’t made all the horcruxes yet.

  45. 45.

    Ohio Mom

    April 26, 2019 at 11:17 am

    I don’t find Ivanka attractive — she is too much like a living Barbie doll for me — but I get why she is some people’s definition of hawt (same goes for Melania).

    I can not imagine what “look” Jared is going for, especially considering he could have gone in any direction with plastic surgery. His face looks like a prepubescent boy’s to me. He looks like he should be up on the bimah in an ill-fitting suit, voice cracking as he declares, “Today I am a man.”

    Yes, I am in a crabby mood. Didn’t eat enough breakfast. Hopefully lunch will cure me.

  46. 46.

    Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.

    April 26, 2019 at 11:27 am

    @??? Goku (aka Amerikan Baka) ??: Corrections in a nutshell: jail and prison are DIFFERENT THINGS:

    1) Jail is where you go when you’re arrested and awaiting trial. Jails are operated at all levels of government – Federal, state and local. Most jails, including Riker’s, are locally run, ie by NYC. Criminal law is almost always state / Federal, so your local police and sheriff arresting people for assault, robbery, etc. are typically enforcing state law.

    2) Prison is where you go if you’re convicted. Prisons are typically state and federal facilities. Local governments almost *never* (I might even say never) operate jails. Occasionally, you’ll see convicted people serving their sentence in a jail like Riker’s, but only for special reasons. IIRC California dealt with their prison overcrowding issue by transferring inmates to county jails.

    I have worked with people who are in corrections. Nothing drives them crazier than people using jail and prison interchangeably, which almost everyone does.

  47. 47.

    stinger

    April 26, 2019 at 11:39 am

    @NotMax:

    People who live in crass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

    I had scrolled down past the name and timecode when I read this line. I immediately said, “That’s NotMax.” Scrolled up, and yes it was!

  48. 48.

    HypershpericalCow

    April 26, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    @Dr. Ronnie James, D.O.: there’s a lyric by The Hold Steady, about a girl who’d “been to jail but she’d never been to prison”, which spurred me to find out the actual difference.

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