Peculiar news from Norway: Fishermen have found a whale wearing a harness. The harness says "equipment of St Petersburg" and has a camera attachment. Russian marine biologists say they don't put harnesses on whales. The Norwegians think it may be a "military whale". @ErikSolheim https://t.co/uM4GzoVQGz
— Elisabeth Braw (@elisabethbraw) April 28, 2019
This is, of course, potential serious spycraft. And yet, the jokes are irresistable (probably NSFW)…
Does this guy’s BDSM harness also say ‘Equipment of St. Petersburg?
Great. Now I'm going to have anxiety dreams about my managing partner finding firm credit card bills for me getting the most talkative lapdance ever from Roger Stone in the champagne room.https://t.co/BhBykhvwpc
— BigLoganActHat (@Popehat) April 22, 2019
I challenge you to imagine the life story of a person who would pay $25 to meet Roger Stone at a strip club and not break down weeping. A person whose path has led them to that moment has led a life that should only be found in the darkest Von Trier films.
— Graham (@ScienceOMFG) April 23, 2019
One piece of advice: wear gloves. https://t.co/8tFWDl78KR
— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) April 23, 2019
Jay
Who goes to a strip club, pays a cover, to see Roger Stone?
NotMax
@Jay
Blechdysiasts.
;)
Amir Khalid
@Jay:
Do you really want to know? Does anyone?
Dan B
Would it be inapproriate to discuss how to effectively apply itching powder to fives?
Am I right to assume Roger will be suitably attired at some time in his stage appearance?
Amir Khalid
Why put a camera harness on a whale? What military use would anyone have for the images? And what species of whale is it anyway?
Waldo
Frankly, I’d be amazed if he’s the only “Roger Stone” in the porn racket.
oatler.
“Military Whales In Harness Go Spring Break Crazee”
NotMax
@Amir Khalid
Because the damn sharks wouldn’t sit still?
:)
Omnes Omnibus
@Amir Khalid:
Because you can.
That’s classified.
Killer whale, obviously.
You are welcome.
mrmoshpotato
@Jay:
Once you know, you can never unknow. Do you still want to know?
sukabi
@NotMax: sharks have fricken lasers.
PST
Steve Zissou wants his albino research dolphin back.
Anne Laurie
@Amir Khalid:
Excellent questions, and the only wild speculations I have involve the Russian government’s determination to possess all the oil resources of the newly frost-free Arctic Ocean. Assuming this whale isn’t just a victim of ‘normal’ natural-history research, I’d guess that whales can go further and much deeper than even the most sophisticated robot technology (which Russian can’t afford anyways).
With luck, Adam or Cheryl will eventually be able to tell us whether this is actually ‘spycraft’, or just another rumor in the Game of Mirrors….
OzarkHillbilly
@Amir Khalid: Beluga.
hells littlest angel
Roger Stone bumping and grinding his Nixon tattoo to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
I’m sorry.
OzarkHillbilly
@Anne Laurie:
Not true, the Marianas Trench:
Patricia Kayden
@Jay: It’s a shame that he doesn’t have wealthy friends who can help him out in his hour of need. Sad!
patrick II
@Anne Laurie:
There is no light at those depths, so I am not sure how a camera would work. I can’t imagine it would have a flash. But then I am not a Russian scientist putting a camera on a whale.
Shantanu Saha
How much will they charge to take Stone into the VIP room?
Amir Khalid
@Shantanu Saha:
You would have to pay me to have Roger Stone perform a lap dance.
OzarkHillbilly
@Amir Khalid: Is there that much money in the world?
Ruff the dog
@patrick II: “no light at those depths” goes for Roger Stone, too.
SFAW
Did the “whale” happen to have a fake-tan orange complexion, and bad hair?
I’m kind of stunned that I’m the first one to bring that up.
Dr Ronnie James DO
“No, Roger, noone expects you to dance. Please put your clothes on.”
(tho the image of Stone having to scrounge for singles off a strip club floor is a vision even Dante might have balked at…do they make fake bills with Hillary’s face on them?)
The Pale Scot
@NotMax:
I’d assume that the mount could have many different types of sensors attached, specifically magnetic and acoustic
OPps, I meant Amir
Kenneth Kohl
Somehow, I’m juxtapositioning “Roger Stone->strip club->harness” and coming up with some gruesome images…
J R in WV
@OzarkHillbilly:
No, not for me. Not enough in the whole world!!! But to watch Roger…?? maybe not for that either.
ETA: You would think that this crew would do better at finding humor in Roger Stone appearing at a strip club to raise money for his legal defense… but maybe just not there?
sukabi
@Kenneth Kohl: not at all surprising, considering his swinging past and his chosen occupation.
RedDirtGirl
@NotMax: Wow. That’s impressive!