Lily and I went to PVSEC, and another stellar report- all bloodwork was fine, she got her vincristine therapy, and she was certified adorable by the staff. Good girl, Lily!
In other news, after I dropped her off, I went to Costco, and as I was pulling in the parking lot realized it was the Saturday before Memorial Day (the last time I was there was a day or two before Easter), and of course it was a colossal clusterfuck. As I was trying to find a spot when Devon texted me that my father had fallen and broken his hip. I was on the phone with my mom, waiting to pull into a spot with my blinker on, and some lady tried to “steal” my space, and I honked and gave her the finger, and was completely out of line (she couldn’t see around the car pulling out and had no idea I was there). Decided then I needed to sit in the car and pull my shit together before going in or I was going to be in a viral youtube video or on the nightly news or both. Went in, hunted down the lady I was rude to, apologized, basically told her I just dropped my dog off for chemo and was on the phone with my mom because my dad had fallen and broken his hip and that everyone in the parking lot was irritating me and I just took it out on her and that wasn’t right. She was very nice and we chatted for a minute and went on about our business. I felt better afterward because there was no reason for me to put someone else in a sour mood because I’m an immature fuck who can’t handle his emotions.
At any rate, dad is at the hospital and just got the news that it was broken and he will need surgery tomorrow. We don’t know if it will be a full replacement or what, yet, but he is in a lot of pain and just generally pissed off. I mean, he has had a shit year. Apparently he and the boys were working in the yard, and he went into the garage to do something and just lost his balance, and twisted so he would not brain himself on things and landed on his hip. Thank goodness the boys were there because who knows how long he would have been there before mom found out- she’s used to him just disappearing into the yard for hours on end.
So that’s my day, and it is only 3 o’clock. Gonna take a nap and then gather up stuff to take to the hospital for dad (his tablet and some toiletries). I just feel bad for him because this is going to suck. At least in the winter he would not want to be outside, but now he has to recover during the best part of the year.
Skepticat
Best wishes for quick recovery for your dad, and a big attaboy to you for apologizing to the woman. And high hopes everything improves fast for everyone.
Heidi Mom
Sending best wishes to your Dad, and to you and Lily.
Luc
Best wishes for your dad.
Broke my femur neck 3 months ago. Yes, it will suck.
spudgun
So sorry about your dad – but judging by the way he bounced back so quickly from the heart surgery, I anticipate him doing the same with this latest thing. Sending all the best wishes for super-fast healing anyway.
And thanks for the Lily pic! Love the latest in bow couture – very summery.
Sarah
I’m so sorry. I hope your dad has a quick recovery. And you’re a good person for apologizing to that woman. Most, including me, would not.
Another Scott
@Skepticat: +1
A good friend was at her work a few months ago, twisted her leg, and felt a sharp pain. She went to a clinic to get it looked at and they gave her some NSAIDs. After a couple of days, still going to work, it was still hurting and she went to another clinic and the doc on a lark ordered an X-ray. That’s when they discovered she had broken her hip – without falling.
She’s tough!!
But it’s example #871283 that women’s pains aren’t regarded as seriously as men’s. :-(
Cheers,
Scott.
trollhattan
Crap, sorry to hear about Pops Cole and best wishes for excellent care and a good outcome!
J.
Good news about Lily. Sorry to hear about your dad. Was just thinking about him this morning. Hopefully, the surgery will go well and he’ll be back home soon — and won’t have any more health scares/injuries.
SiubhanDuinne
I’m awfully sorry about your dad. What a sucky thing to happen. Hope the surgery is highly successful and that he recovers quickly, fully, and comfortably. Is there an address where we can send him get-well cards?
He is the third person I know (or parent of someone I know) to fall and break a hip just in the last couple of months. I have found that as I get older I am careful about stairs, and even on level floors I try to make sure there is something I can touch just to reinforce my balance.
Lily looks absolutely wonderful, and I’m glad she’s still getting those nifty bows! What a beautiful girl she is.
And finally, that was a great thing you did in apologizing to the woman. Not for the first time, I will observe that you are one of nature’s true gentlemen.
AliceBlue
Yay for Lily!
So sorry about your dad. Hoping for a speedy recovery.
mvr
Best wishes to your dad and glad Lily continues to do well. I’m not sure I would have had it together to gather my wits and apologize. That counts for something.
Irony Abounds
Sincerely hope things work out for your Dad. I learned the hard way about worrying about parents last year. And now, my wife needs to go in for a follow up to her mammogram since the radiologist saw something he didn’t like, and my daughter, who had thyroid cancer 5 years ago has a lump on her neck that they need to do a biopsy on in a couple of weeks. Needless to say my mind is going to dark places, so I spent the morning repairing the drip irrigation system as a distraction but the entire time I was cursing every little thing in the process. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to wake up.
Sherparick
Sorry about the news on your Dad. Hope for a speedy recovery. Good news reference Lily. She is the sweetest dog.
cain
Yay for Lilly! Sorry to hear about your Dad, and I along with the rest wish him a speedy recovery.. till then I’m sure it’s going to suck for him since he seems to enjoy being outside.
Another Scott
@Irony Abounds: Fingers crossed. Hang in there.
Cheers,
Scott.
Aleta
I feel for your dad. I hope since it’ll be summer when he does his rehab, that being able to walk and rest outside instead of cooped up indoors might at least be better for his spirits. Yeah, I realize for some people looking at everything they can’t do is extra stressful. Wishing him lots of good books to listen to if that would help. It would be nice if there could be a fund set up and a list of books he’d like (i.e., it’d be a get-well-soon registry) so each person could send him one book recording (and ideally he could donate the books somewhere else later).
Mnemosyne
Yikes! I hope your dad recovers as fully and quickly as possible.
My brother-in-law’s boyfriend was experiencing some weird abdominal pain for a couple of weeks that wouldn’t resolve, so they finally did an ultrasound. Turns out that his appendix had burst, so they had to go in and remove it, rinse out his innards as best they could, and give him IV antibiotics for the next few days to avoid peritonitis.
Aleta
@Irony Abounds: Wishing the best for you and your family.
Wolvesvalley
Great Lily pic — I had not noticed her eyelashes before.
Best wishes to your dad for a complete and speedy recovery.
And you’re a good guy, John, for finding that woman and apologizing.
Emma
My dad did something very similar a year ago. Was coming into the house, lost his balance, and managed to bring his hip right onto the edge of the front door step. Broke his femur right where it slots into the pelvis. They had to put a rod from pelvis to knee to stabilize it. The good thing is that they have developed a number of procedures to aid seniors in recovery and strengthening the muscles to help support the bone. It was a longish recovery and he got very cranky at times. Will keep your and your mother’s sanity in my prayers as you go through the process.
BTW, the lady and the parking lot story? You, Mr. Cole, are a mensch.
dlwchico
My dad started falling down, turns out he had Parkinsons. He never got shaky really, but he lost a lot of cognitive function it seems like and got kind of rigid and prone to losing his balance.
He was the type of guy that was always working on several projects around the house. It was rough for him to learn to give that up.
He was a Vietnam vet and had beat off some form of cancer 3 times and had had two heart bypass operations. He found out from the doctor he had Parkinsons and asked him what the plan was to beat it. The doctor told him there was no beating it. My mom was there when that happened and she said she could just see him deflate at that point.
Quiltingfool
So sorry for your papa…he has had a rough go, hasn’t he? Won’t be easy, but he’s got his family and friends to help him through. Good for Miss Lily, that she’s doing well!
CaseyL
Jeez! “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.”
Yay for Lily, and Oh No! for your Dad. Hope the surgery goes well and he recovers with a minimum of discomfort and indignity.
Maybe some of your frat brothers could go to your parents’ house now and then over the summer, and let your Dad boss them around, doing all the stuff he won’t be able to. The alternative, as I see it, is for you to fill that role.
Best wishes to the Cole family, of all species!
Ruckus
Age and whatever can do funny and not so funny things to us. Like make the finger appear at inappropriate times. At least you were able to apologize. And did.
Dad will be OK, hips are pretty normal stuff these days. I’d bet your dad is about the age when this kind of stuff happens. Around the same age I am. Balance is just one more thing that never seems to work as it has for decades, and it shows up not working when least expected.
I get electric shocks at odd times and odd places – oh and they are internal just in case that wasn’t obvious, I don’t go around sticking my finger in light sockets. About 15 minutes ago had one in my foot and just now had one in the left side of my face which then caused a coughing jag. Never had that before. Every day is a new adventure for olds. Probably because most of the time we weren’t looking for an adventure and life just thought it would be funny to throw us one.
HRA
So very glad about Lily getting good outcomes from the vets.
Giving good thoughts for your Dad’s recovery from his fall and surgery.
I know the difficulty of finally accepting we are no longer as steady on our feet as we were back when we could do it with ease. After 2 bad inoperable knees, I took the advice of having a cane. It makes a big difference and I heartily recommend it.
MomSense
Sorry about your dad. My neighbor, who is in her 89s, broke her hip and had a total replacement. She healed very quickly. Hoping for the same for your dad.
laura
Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your dad! Rehabilitation in the summer has git to be better than winter, so there’s that.
Lily is lovely, but just seeing the word vincristine instantly transports me back in time to Roadie Brother the Elder’s testicular cancer.
Tracking down a stranger to apologize takes some real decency, good on ya, your heart will rest easier in the nights to come.
@Irony Abounds: Sending you and the women you love best wishes. We live in an age of miracles and wonder in medicine, stay hopeful.
Wapiti
Wow, not a great day. But your best friend is doing good, and you cleaned up after your rude outburst, so you’ve done good with the things you can control.
J R in WV
Ouch, sorry to hear that about Dad Cole!! Happened to my dad, he was living in Houston fighting leukemia, and rode his doctors to get them to OK a trip to Beckley, hometown for the summer. Change from sea level to 2600 feet made him dizzy… oops.
He got over it, your dad will too. At least he lives right across your back yard!
Best wishes for everyone up north ~!!!~
Leto
I’m so sorry your dad is going through this. As someone who had a horrible hip injury (along with every other fucking thing), and spent all of the winter doing PT, it fucking sucked. Like your dad, I’m an outside person so I could not wait for spring and summer to roll around. Being trapped inside, to my apartment hallway, was maddening. Since he enjoys being outside this will definitely help with his recovery/PT.
I’m glad Lily is doing better. You’re also a better man than I in finding that woman and apologizing to her.
leeleeFL
Glad Lily is doing so well.
So sorry about your Dad’s mishap, sending healing thoughts his way.
Upthread poster got it right, MENSCH!
Mike in NC
Best wishes to your dad. Mine slipped and fell on a patch of ice in NH about 20 years ago and was never quite the same after that. Falls are bad news for the elderly.
Tony Jay
That does indeed suck, but your Dad sounds like a very durable fellow.
Also hat-tip for apologising to the lady you flipped off. That takes humanity.
Cermet
So very sorry for that terrible mishap. Hope the recovery is fast and relatively pain free.
MomSense
@Irony Abounds:
Sending healing to your wife and daughter and a hug for you. Please keep us posted and know that you can get things off your chest here. We are all rooting for you!!
Genine
I’m glad Lily is doing well and best wishes to your dad, John!
Barbara
@Another Scott: It is absolutely true that a “fall” can be caused by the hip breaking, and not the other way around. It is hard to know how often, but my husband’s grandmother heard her hip crack as she turned quickly to answer the phone, while standing, and then she fell. Wouldn’t surprise me if the fracture here were caused by the twisting to avoid an injury.
I hope your dad recovers quickly. Most people with hip replacements seem to really feel better afterwards. Also, that is a true Lily bow, as in Lily Pulitzer colors of bright pink and green. Would not be surprised if that was intentional.
Barbara
@Irony Abounds: Shucks. Hoping for false alarms in both cases.
Aleta
Thanks John for searching for the woman and explaining and apologizing. It gives one a little extra shock when (especially a white) guy shows some rage because, no matter the situation (even online) one’s reflexes automatically adjust in case he escalates. It stays with you for awhile. A person like you who goes beyond apologizing to explain himself, and says out loud ‘it was my emotions not your actions,’ is doing something important. It may dissipate the stress or fear in the other person’s body that comes from the power difference. (And tbh sometimes the wording of an apology can be motivated by the guy protecting his reputation in front of others, so one still feels on guard a bit from their anger.)
Zelma
I am of the age when hip fractures are common among my contemporaries. Best wishes to you dad. BTW, my physical therapist says that of all replacements, hips are the easiest to come back from.
Glad about Lily. What a sweetheart. I have a granddad named Lily who is not nearly as well behaved.
Ruckus
@dlwchico:
That first time you are told you may or do have a medical problem that can’t be fixed is a kick in the groin, even if you expect it. I’ve been told I probably have Parkinson’s as well. Supposed to find out in 2 weeks. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t for the weak. It takes luck and perseverance to outlast the problems we all have and learn to live with them.
Another Scott
@Barbara: One important bit of information that I forgot to include – she hadn’t turned 60 yet. :-/ She’s not a vegetarian, so she should have been getting “enough” calcium, etc. But apparently not. (A former colleague at work, a vegetarian, broke his hip sometime in his mid 60s.)
Our bodies are complicated things that are constantly changing. Women’s bodies even more-so.
Thanks.
Cheers,
Scott.
Brachiator
Best wishes to your dad, Lily and you, John Cole.
Elizabelle
All the best to ColeDad. Wish he would catch some of Lily’s luck.
LuciaMia
Fuck-and-a-half, John. Your Dads been thru a lot already. Glad hes got all you guys around him. All the best wishes for his fast recovery.
TomatoQueen
Lilygirl looking lovely and doing well is wonderful. I hope for a speedy recovery for Dad Cole and no further disasters. Up for any group project to help the healing process along. And you, Mr Cole, win the award for Mensch of the Day.
Dog Mom
Very happy for sweet Lily’s continuing health! So sorry for your father’s mishap and hopeful that his recovery is quick. Good for your apology – hopefully the memory of it will help for future frustrations. I have seen too many angry people lately.
dnfree
@Barbara: agreed. The hip breaking could have preceded the fall. It all happens so fast. Not much difference probably in terms of treatment. Best wishes for his recovery. Finding the woman in the store was a good way to at least let you focus on the main problem, your dad, rather than berating yourself.
LuciaMia
I wonder if most road-rage incidents happen on the road or mainly in parking lots. Cause they can make you crazy.
Dog Mom
So very happy for sweet Lily’s continuing health! So sorry for your father’s mishap and hopeful that his recovery is quick. Good for your apology – hopefully the memory of it will help for future frustrations. I have seen too many angry people lately.
mitzimuffin
Could you make him a place(s) in his yard and your yard, so he can be outside? That would be the best therapy. And help getting to and fro, of c ourse.
Jager
Getting old is an adventure. One of my friends has a lake home in Minnesota, he goes up to the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes from Arizona every spring and stays the entire summer. His wife is still working (probably so she doesn’t have to be around him everyday) Pat only goes to the lake for Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day for a week at a time, the rest of the time he’s on his own. Last summer, while he was by himself, he drove into town, bought groceries, when he got home, he stopped at his mailbox on the road to the house, a swarm of bees, circled his head, old Bill spun around and landed on the gravel. Bingo a broken left hip, His lake truck is idling with the door open about 15 feet away. When his head clears, he drags himself to the F 150, crawls in the cab and drives 35 miles to the emergency room. When he got to the hospital, he sat in the truck and laid on the horn until some pissed off security guy came out to give him shit. He goes through the x-rays and gets scheduled for a replacement and finally calls his wife at home in Scottsdale, tells her what happened, gets off the phone and passes out from the painkillers. Patti shows up the next afternoon shortly after he he’s finished with surgery. She spends the night at the hospital with him. The next afternoon, she gets in the truck to drive to the cabin, poor Pat almost passes out from the rotting meat in the backseat of the truck, it’s been simmering for two days in 80 degree heat. He’d spent 200 dollars on steak for an old boys weekend he’d planned with some guys from Minneapolis. All the beer he bought was just fine once it cooled off.
John, tell your dad to do the therapy, Bill didn’t put in the time and he now walks with a huge limp and damned cane. And he bitches about pain all the time. Patti signed a new contract for another 2 years on the job, because she can’t stand being around the crabby old bastard.
Good news on Lily and good on you for apologizing to the lady you flipped the bird to. Once again tell your dad not to be Bill.
Laura Too
Oh John, what a shit day, I’m so sorry! Thinking good thoughts for you and your family.
satby
Hoping for another successful surgery and quick recovery to Poppa Cole! And yay for Lily, and you too John.
@Irony Abounds: and for you, your wife, and daughter, strongest hopes for false alarms. Take care of all of you, you’ve all been through a lot.
CatFacts
Glad Lily is doing well, and hope your dad recovers smoothly.
dmsilev
Ouch, sorry to hear about your dad. My father went through much the same thing two years ago. In that case, he fell and the ER doctors thought that the damage was just a crack so that no major surgery would be needed. 6 weeks later, it still isn’t getting better, and finally a specialist looks at it. If they had intervened right away, he would have gotten away with just a pin or similar, but after weeks of the bones grinding on each other, the decision was to do a partial replacement. He was out of the hospital in a couple of days, out of rehab in a week (motivated largely by hating the food at the rehab place, which otherwise was great), and when he and my mom visited me this winter, we ended up walking five or six miles a day for most of a week with him occasionally using a hiking stick.
rikyrah
Lily and her bow are beautiful??
Will say prayers for Papa Cole???
Gin & Tonic
I fell and broke my hip when I was younger than Cole, let alone Dad. Hurts like a motherfucker. All I can say is thank God for mor phine.
Here’s wishing Dad a full and speedy recovery.
?BillinGlendaleCA
Sorry to hear about Papa Cole and best wishes on mending up. Good to hear about a good checkup for Lily, she rocks.
Leto
@Gin & Tonic: Agreed, morphine is really good stuff. Had to take it, along with a nice cocktail of other meds, before some my other procedures while in hospital. I had read about that “swimming” sensation, but experiencing it firsthand was different.
Antonius
Sorry man, my best to your Dad for a rapid and complete recovery.
sukabi
Yay Lily, best healing wishes to your Dad.
John don’t be too hard on yourself for losing your cool in the parking lot. You made up for it 4x over and then some by chasing the lady down and apologizing…although that could have gone horribly wrong.
Gin & Tonic
@Leto: I became aware of why people can come to really like it.
Fen ta nyl, on the other hand, didn’t do shit for me.
dww44
Hope your Dad’s surgery goes well. I was always amazed that my then 87 year old Mom (she died at 94) fell and broke her hip (or the hip broke and she fell) and had hip replacement and within 3 weeks she was back up on her feet. That was someone in the earlier stages of dementia as well. So I’m hoping that your Dad does as well with his hip surgery. Take it easy on yourself too.
Leto
@Gin & Tonic: Agreed. Understood why morphine addiction was such a big thing. Granted, that combo didn’t totally eliminate the pain involved each time, but compared to the first time they did the procedure (sans any medication at all), I was grateful they “listened” and adjusted course.
Ativan on the other hand… when people describe a bad LSD trip (melting walls, objects turning into dragons, questioning the fabric of reality), well I have that t-shirt too. After 43 years, finally found a drug I’m allergic to.
Ruckus
@Leto:
Found one of those. I described it the same way, a bad LSD trip. No dragons, but the walls melting, wondering what in the hell had happened to all stuff in life we call normal, solid stuff, walls, floors, ceilings, air, time…… There’s a reason it’s called a bad trip.
My Ativan/lorazepam story was suicidal thoughts. No likey
My clonazepam story was the hallucinations. Same family though.
Irony Abounds
Appreciate the good thoughts, thank you very much. It will all work out, just could have used a year without anxiety, but then I guess everyone could use that!
Mary G
Had started a long story about a Costco parking lot, but my hand cramped up and refused. Add me to the pats on the back for your apology, John.
Just wanted to say happy about Lily and good wishes for dad. I had a knee replacement and next a hip, which was much easier recovering from.
mrmoshpotato
Hope for a full, speedy recovery for Dad Cole, and stritches for Lily.
Tams
???
Skepticat
@Another Scott: Example #871284—When I was young (early 20s) I had persistent stomach pain, but the (older male) doctor gave me Valium, which I wouldn’t take, and strongly intimated it was all in my head. Just before an appointment for a second opinion, I ended up in the E.R. with no pulse because I had a bleeding stomach ulcer that perforated.
I’m just happy that neither JC’s dad nor the absolutely lovely Lily have anything but the best care.
MaryRC
So sorry about your dad. Best wishes to him, and kudos to you for stepping up and apologizing to that woman. I know how it is when everything gets too much.
MazeDancer
So happy for Lily. So sorry for your dad.
In older men – not that your dad is old – who break their hip, healing is not the problem. It is their spirits flagging at their recognizing their immortality. Feel certain that the whole Cole clan will let Dad Cole know he is valued always. And he can yell and be in charge from a wheelchair as he heals.
It is actually better to be healing in the summer. Less foolish venturing outside on the ice.
NeenerNeener
@Ruckus: Yeah, Ativan is bad shit. When my dad was on home hospice care the nurse came by and for some reason decided he needed Ativan. A half hour after she left he started having a seizure and we had to call for an ambulance to take him into actual hospice care; he died the next morning.
Joy in FL
Good thoughts for your father. So much respect for you for finding the woman and apologizing and explaining to her. And great happiness about the beautiful Lily. You’ve had quite a day.
White & Gold Purgatorian
Great news about Lily. So sorry about Dad Cole’s broken hip. I know that sounds like dire news, and it will certainly be a challenging time for the entire family, but please don’t despair. Humans, even older ones, have an amazing capacity to persist and heal.
At age 90+ my Daddy fell and broke his femur, just a little way above his artificial knee. It was a jagged, angular break and the upper part had slid past the lower piece of the bone. The ER doctor showed us the x-rays and said “I don’t know how they I’ll fix that.” Scary stuff, but the ortho guy put in two plates and about 20 screws and the bone healed. My regret from that time is that he went from the hospital to a rehab nursing home after a couple of weeks and stayed there almost 2 months. Right at the end a virus swept through the place, he caught it, was hospitalized for another week and his lungs never recovered.
In hindsight, he would have been much better off and happier at home as early as possible, with home health and the sort of special equipment (hospital bed, shower stool, lift to help with transfers) that Medicare will provide and did provide when he finally came home. We thought he would get more and better therapy at the rehab place, but they didn’t always even take him to scheduled therapy. Plus, he hated being there and would have been much happier at home. Would have been easier on the family too since my Mom spent every day there and my hubby and I went every evening for a couple of hours. That got real old.
Best wishes to your family. The first week or so when he’s waiting for surgery, recovering from surgery, etc. is a real hard time, but things will get better. Do look at all the options for post surgery though, and make sure Dad Cole is happy with the choices.
stinger
That’s awful about your dad, but clearly he’s good at surgery recovery. Great news about the totes adorbs Lily. And you are an honorable man, John Cole, for the way you recognized and apologized for your rude behavior.
Elie
I send you, your Dad and family my best wishes and a big hug. May he recover well. Take care of your good self too in all of this…
And HAPPY HAPPY about Miss Lily!
Olivia
Best of luck to your dad and you are a wonderful human being for finding and apologizing to the lady.
pluky
And a 10 on Step 10! Progress, not perfection. Hugs for Lily. Healing thoughts for Dad.
Svensker
Sending good thoughts to your dad and the family. And holding you all in the Light, as the Quakers say.
Tehanu
Lily looks great and if good wishes can help your dad, you’ve already got lots and here’s a little more. And you were a mensch for apologizing to that lady, and I’m glad she accepted your apology with grace.