Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Let there be snark.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

The revolution will be supervised.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Optimism opens the door to great things.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

You are here: Home / Nature & Respite / Respite Open Thread: Lunch Time

Respite Open Thread: Lunch Time

by | 98 Comments

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I usually make a salad for lunch. The ducks want in on the goods:

It never fails, I open a bag of greens and it doesn’t matter where they are in the yard, they do their fast paddle to the patio door. I swear they have sonic hearing. Domestic ducks running is hysterical. Every morning when I let them out of the coop they charge all over the yard making sure their territory is safe from all threats. I had a new “duck sitter” when I went away a few weeks ago and she would text me every morning saying that watching that made her day. Makes mine, too.

So…triggered straight people want a “straight pride parade.” Axe Body Spray was having none of it:

The entire thread is full of win. If you need a break from the never-ending nightmare of the IQ45 millennia.

Reader Interactions

98Comments

  3. 3.

    OzarkHillbilly

    The entire thread is full of win.

    Indeed. Didn’t take a triggered troll long, did it?

  4. 4.

    zhena gogolia

    Ducks are adorable!

    Why is John Cole’s twitter in Finnish now? Is it just me?

  8. 8.

    zhena gogolia

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    It’s weird. All of Twitter was in Finnish or Estonian until I quit Chrome and reopened. I hope I haven’t done something wrong (I don’t even belong to Twitter.)

  9. 9.

    patrick II

    I’m a basketball fan, so another game in the NBA finals is a good thing for me. Although I think the Warriors are starting to sound like Monty Python’s Black Knight — “It’s only a flesh wound”.

  11. 11.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @zhena gogolia: Just do what I do: Reboot. If that doesn’t work scream “MICKYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!” and maybe my wife will come and rescue you too.

  12. 12.

    JoyceH

    I posted about my new book release a couple days ago, but I think I posted to a dying thread, so if you’ll indulge me, I’ll tell you about it again…

    Thread regulars will know that my usual fare up to now has been Regency romance, but I’m shifting to Historic Fantasy. It’s still in the Regency but with magic! Series title is Regency Mage, and I describe it as “Pride and Prejudice with a Harry Potter twist”. So without further ado:

    Mary Bennet and the Bingley Codex

    And coming in August – Mary Bennet and the Wickham Artifact!

  14. 14.

    burnspbesq

    The entire concept of “triggered straight people” makes me want to vomit. Grow the fuck up, y’all.

    ETA: well played, Unilever.

  16. 16.

    spudgun

    Dogs eating fruits and vegetables makes me chuckle for some reason – it seems out of the ordinary at first, but then I read so many stories of folks whose dogs like cucumbers or cauliflower or whatever…

    Unfortunately, the only thing we can get our family’s dog to eat outside of the usual dog food is ice cream.

  18. 18.

    Gravenstone

    My biggest tomcat does the same thing when greens are involved. Open a bag or unwrap a head of lettuce, and he materializes to agitate for his cut. I’ll reward him with a leaf and it’s all good. But I have to bury the corn husks in the trash when it’s in season, otherwise I’m cleaning up piles of jade green cat vomit in fairly short order.

  20. 20.

    JoyceH

    @spudgun: My Jazzy likes carrots. Cool and crunchy AND a breath freshener! When her breath gets whifty, I give her a carrot.

  21. 21.

    geg6

    @spudgun:

    My Koda, a garbage can of a chocolate Lab, will eat any and all vegetables. She even loves broccoli and lettuce, which I would have thought a dog would would not like. Even my sweet, deceased Otis, who was a rescue golden retriever who had been starved and neglected when we got him, wouldn’t touch lettuce or broccoli. She doesn’t, however, like many fruits.

  23. 23.

    kindness

    Trump becoming President made all the haters drop their guards and fly their freak flags high.

    Sadly I’m one liberal who wished the haters stayed in the closet.

  26. 26.

    Martin

    @spudgun: Every night the bunnies and hamsters get greens and such. And the corgi is super-jealous, and wants his greens as well. So he gets the stuff that the other critters don’t like. Granted, that’s how corgis roll. They like meats, vegetables, fruits, baked goods, wood, leather, vinyl, most forms of plastic, and various composites.

  28. 28.

    ThresherK

    @JoyceH: My cat’s name is Jazz. Any chance yours is a calico?

    PS She likes bread. I am told cats enjoy the yeastiness of it.

  29. 29.

    spudgun

    @geg6: Broccoli! That’s the one I see a lot from dog parents – wonder what it is about broccoli that they seem to like…

  30. 30.

    mrmoshpotato

    Glad I live in a liberal city with no chance of idiots buying AXE just to destroy the cans. The thought of clouds of AXE being uncontrollably released makes me gag.

    Good on them for being on the right side of not being homophobic morons though.

  34. 34.

    cain

    @TaMara (HFG):

    @biff murphy: Jeebus, we used to attract a better class of trolls.

    Where is miq2xu when you need him? I haven’t seen goat boy in awhile. Ahh, the good ol days when we took no prisoners and smacked trolls. Although sadly when there were no trolls we started on each other :P

  35. 35.

    Groucho48

    The tweet about the Straight Pride parade is clearly snark, but, looks like at least a few folks are taking it seriously. Sad!

  36. 36.

    Baud

    I for one am proud I’ve never suffered from prejudice on account of being straight.

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    @JoyceH

    Congrats.

    Because what passes for my mind chugs along on its own eccentric terms, first thing immediately thought of and cannot dispel from the cranium is a BJ-centric title for a sequel.

    Mary Bennet and the Curious Mustard.

    ;)

  38. 38.

    Baud

    @cain:

    I was never that into trolls, but now that we have a troll-in-chief, I’m positively intolerant of them.

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    @mrmoshpotato: These people really don’t get how a protest works do they?

    On the main subject, I have NEVER seen a dog less food motivated than my parents’ old border collie Jack. He never begs for food. If you offer him anything he has to sniff it first then decide if he wants it. And it could be anything: scraps of meat, hot dog, whatever. And he has even rejected those. It’s rather bizarre coming from both labs and vizslas that are food hound fanatics.

  42. 42.

    Another Scott

    @spudgun: Not too much. She even eats acorns occasionally. She seems to do Ok with the stuff that she scavenges – she’s been a dog that eats almost anything she finds on walks as long as we’ve had her. You would think we were starving her…

    (We actually do try to minimize the stuff she picks up, but she’s very, very determined about it.)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  47. 47.

    Groucho48

    Oh, Straight Pride is definitely a thing. But, read the tweet. Tami Lehren riding a swastika? Charlie Kirk in a diaper? If that isn’t snark, the country is even further off than my worst fears.

  48. 48.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Yutsano: I have no proof anyone is buying AXE to waste it, but people were buying champagne and French’s mustard just to dump them out back in 2003.

    Iraq war morons – how I’d like to go back to small pockets of idiocy.

  49. 49.

    trollhattan

    @Groucho48:
    “Tomi Lahren riding a Swastika” FTW.

    OTOH I can definitely believe Certain Individuals read that as fact, and thought it an awesome parade, bruh!

  54. 54.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Betty:

    My puppies don’t just love papaya, they nibble the trees as well.

    I for one welcome our new puppy-beaver overlords.

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: LOL! In just about every other way he acts like a border collie. He does have a small touch of separation anxiety to contend with but from what I understand that’s not unusual for his breed. I have absolutely no idea where the lack of food motivation comes from. If he bugs you at the dinner table, it’s for skritches not nibbles.

    As a contrast, my parents had a cinnamon border collie named Jill who would hound you for EVERYTHING.

  58. 58.

    Mnemosyne

    I’m planning my Portland t-shirt wardrobe partly around how I can best signal, “Hello, I am a friendly ally who hopes you will have an enjoyable Pride Weekend.”

    I have a “Love Is Love” t-shirt and I’m hoping a second shirt I ordered arrives in time. I will also have a few buttons and possibly some additional swag I can hand out at random.

  59. 59.

    No One of Consequence

    And since I can’t edit the comment above, you can ignore me Biff. You sound exactly like the kind of person who wouldn’t like me and whom I would find difficult to avoid running over with my car, provided the opportunity.

    (Best we pretend we never met. K? Thx. Bye!)

    – NOoC

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    @JoyceH:

    I’m assuming you’ve read Mary Robinette Kowal’s Regency-set fantasy novels? They’re quite fun.

  61. 61.

    The Moar You Know

    My Koda, a garbage can of a chocolate Lab, will eat any and all vegetables. She even loves broccoli and lettuce, which I would have thought a dog would would not like.

    @geg6: My golden is the same way. Favorite veg: arugula. He will beg for it.

  65. 65.

    Immanentize

    At the straight pride parade in Boston, they will be chanting:
    “Gays will not replace us!”

  68. 68.

    TenguPhule

    @Immanentize:

    “Gays will not replace us!”

    At least not until they get the final kinks out of those artificial wombs.

    The artificial insemination problem has already been solved.

  69. 69.

    JoyceH

    @Mnemosyne:

    I’m assuming you’ve read Mary Robinette Kowal’s Regency-set fantasy novels? They’re quite fun.

    No, I haven’t! I’ll have to wish-list them. Right now I’m trying to work up a head of steam on Mary Bennet and the Beast of Rosings Park. I’ve set a goal for myself to publish four books in 2019. (Book 4 will be Mary Bennet and the Shades of Pemberley.)

  72. 72.

    TenguPhule

    @NotMax:

    Don’t go giving Elon Musk ideas.

    ;)

    I’m pretty sure he’s already watched the Stepford Wives.

  74. 74.

    Ruckus

    @raven:
    That was Bud as well. Pretty much anything that would fit in his mouth, that had some relationship to food at some point.

  75. 75.

    Josie

    @Martin: When Duncan, the super corgi, was a puppy, we kept him in a caged area instead of a kennel. Sadly we later discovered that he had eaten part of the wall next to his cage. Now he likes to sneak pecans into the house from the backyard tree and crunch them up, shells and all. Luckily he seems to have a cast iron stomach and just throws up the shells on occasion. The upside is that corgis are really easy to train, since they will do anything for a small morsel of food.

  80. 80.

    Peale

    Meh. I’d just leave ’em alone. There won’t be more that 2 dozen of them, and they’ll soon start fighting over whether the point of the day is to express pride in love between a woman and a man or sex between man and a woman and whether or not it should be man/woman or woman/man – and then they’ll splinter into ever smaller groups.

  82. 82.

    Dan B

    @Mnemosyne: I’ve always liked the “Straight but not Narrow” T’s. Not original but it always makes me think, What do they mean by “not narrow”.

  84. 84.

    satby

    @JoyceH: I just bought it too. Love the concept!

    I came in from finishing my new flower bed, took a shower, and laid down for what was supposed to be just 10 minutes with a charcoal facemask on. Woke up almost 2 hours later. But my skin looks fabulous ?

  86. 86.

    germy

    NY State passed a law to give Trump's state tax returns to Congress.

    Rep. Richard Neal, chair of Ways & Means, says no thanks, he won't ask for them because it might look like a fishing expedition, and that would be unseemly:https://t.co/AX1NlURGmj

    Are you kidding me?

    — Paul Waldman (@paulwaldman1) June 5, 2019

  93. 93.

    Mnemosyne

    @Dan B:

    I think it’s supposed to be I’m not narrow-minded, so I’m okay with Teh Gays. Really.

    That’s why I’m sticking with, like, rainbow hearts.

  94. 94.

    debbie

    I have no idea who this Tony guy is, but I love this tweet just before the Axe spectacle:

    Im no fashionista, but why does it always look like Ivanka Trump is wearing curtains from an 85 year old couple’s home?— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 5, 2019

  96. 96.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    @spudgun: Indeed the nose does. My sister-in-law had a big Dalmatian, female and utterly sweet, who, when upstairs, knew if a banana was being peeled downstairs.

  97. 97.

    Tenar Arha

    @TaMara (HFG): Turns out this is a white nationalist attempting a rebrand. As the day went by today people did some digging & the guy(s) trying to line up a permit for this are seriously bad news. Here’s the Daily Beast article. And if you check out the videos in this thread, the main organizer has been responsible for violent attacks at other protests.

    So on the one hand they’re unlikely to get a permit, not just because that’s like one of the most horrific traffic weekends in Greater Boston because it’s the weekend students move in, but also they’re unlikely to pass the permitting process with their public record.

  98. 98.

    Uncle Cosmo

    @The Moar You Know: Dunno about veggies, but at a microbrewery outside Prague last month a couple of very handsome doggies (looked like Labs with coppery-brown coats) came in with an older couple & when a mug of brew was presented to one, s/he rather lustily lapped about half of it up. Neither of my bro’s goldens show/showed the slightest interest in alcoholic suds but we don’t imbibe all that much when I’m around, so I’m kinda wondering, is this a doggy thing?

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