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It’s time for the GOP to dust off that post-2012 autopsy, completely ignore it, and light the party on fire again.

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You are here: Home / Nature & Respite / Respite Open Thread: Lunch Time

Respite Open Thread: Lunch Time

by TaMara|  June 5, 20192:29 pm| 98 Comments

This post is in: Nature & Respite, Something Good Open Thread

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I usually make a salad for lunch. The ducks want in on the goods:

It never fails, I open a bag of greens and it doesn’t matter where they are in the yard, they do their fast paddle to the patio door. I swear they have sonic hearing. Domestic ducks running is hysterical. Every morning when I let them out of the coop they charge all over the yard making sure their territory is safe from all threats. I had a new “duck sitter” when I went away a few weeks ago and she would text me every morning saying that watching that made her day. Makes mine, too.

So…triggered straight people want a “straight pride parade.” Axe Body Spray was having none of it:

we’ll be at the parade that matters and this one isn’t it

— AXE (@AXE) June 5, 2019

Gay rights are human rights but go off jill

— AXE (@AXE) June 5, 2019

The entire thread is full of win. If you need a break from the never-ending nightmare of the IQ45 millennia.

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Reader Interactions

98Comments

  1. 1.

    biff murphy

    June 5, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Who makes AXE? My family wont be buying that fucking brand…

  2. 2.

    raven

    June 5, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    Lil Bit is deaf and blind but if you cut into an apple she is there!

  3. 3.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 5, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    The entire thread is full of win.

    Indeed. Didn’t take a triggered troll long, did it?

  4. 4.

    zhena gogolia

    June 5, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Ducks are adorable!

    Why is John Cole’s twitter in Finnish now? Is it just me?

  5. 5.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 5, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    @raven: Our 2 can hear the sound of the treat bag at 50 paces thru closed doors.

  6. 6.

    TaMara (HFG)

    June 5, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    @raven: She and Bixby would be fast friends. The only thing he’ll steal off the counter is an apple!

  7. 7.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 5, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Looks like the same old naked mopping with mustard posts to me.

  8. 8.

    zhena gogolia

    June 5, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    It’s weird. All of Twitter was in Finnish or Estonian until I quit Chrome and reopened. I hope I haven’t done something wrong (I don’t even belong to Twitter.)

  9. 9.

    patrick II

    June 5, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    I’m a basketball fan, so another game in the NBA finals is a good thing for me. Although I think the Warriors are starting to sound like Monty Python’s Black Knight — “It’s only a flesh wound”.

  10. 10.

    TaMara (HFG)

    June 5, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    @biff murphy: Jeebus, we used to attract a better class of trolls.

  11. 11.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 5, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Just do what I do: Reboot. If that doesn’t work scream “MICKYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!” and maybe my wife will come and rescue you too.

  12. 12.

    JoyceH

    June 5, 2019 at 2:47 pm

    I posted about my new book release a couple days ago, but I think I posted to a dying thread, so if you’ll indulge me, I’ll tell you about it again…

    Thread regulars will know that my usual fare up to now has been Regency romance, but I’m shifting to Historic Fantasy. It’s still in the Regency but with magic! Series title is Regency Mage, and I describe it as “Pride and Prejudice with a Harry Potter twist”. So without further ado:

    Mary Bennet and the Bingley Codex

    And coming in August – Mary Bennet and the Wickham Artifact!

  13. 13.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    @raven: The nose knows…?

  14. 14.

    burnspbesq

    June 5, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    The entire concept of “triggered straight people” makes me want to vomit. Grow the fuck up, y’all.

    ETA: well played, Unilever.

  15. 15.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    June 5, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    @JoyceH: So glad you reposted this because I didn’t see it before. It’s on its way to my kindle.

  16. 16.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    Dogs eating fruits and vegetables makes me chuckle for some reason – it seems out of the ordinary at first, but then I read so many stories of folks whose dogs like cucumbers or cauliflower or whatever…

    Unfortunately, the only thing we can get our family’s dog to eat outside of the usual dog food is ice cream.

  17. 17.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    @patrick II: Well, here’s hoping they have a holy hand grenade in their arsenal somewhere, or they might be eff’d. ?

  18. 18.

    Gravenstone

    June 5, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    My biggest tomcat does the same thing when greens are involved. Open a bag or unwrap a head of lettuce, and he materializes to agitate for his cut. I’ll reward him with a leaf and it’s all good. But I have to bury the corn husks in the trash when it’s in season, otherwise I’m cleaning up piles of jade green cat vomit in fairly short order.

  19. 19.

    Aleta

    June 5, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Eva Victor @evaandheriud
    me explaining to my boyfriend why we’re going to straight pride

  20. 20.

    JoyceH

    June 5, 2019 at 3:19 pm

    @spudgun: My Jazzy likes carrots. Cool and crunchy AND a breath freshener! When her breath gets whifty, I give her a carrot.

  21. 21.

    geg6

    June 5, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    @spudgun:

    My Koda, a garbage can of a chocolate Lab, will eat any and all vegetables. She even loves broccoli and lettuce, which I would have thought a dog would would not like. Even my sweet, deceased Otis, who was a rescue golden retriever who had been starved and neglected when we got him, wouldn’t touch lettuce or broccoli. She doesn’t, however, like many fruits.

  22. 22.

    Another Scott

    June 5, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    @spudgun: Our Ellie loves, loves, loves snuffling around under a neighbor’s cherry tree.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  23. 23.

    kindness

    June 5, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    Trump becoming President made all the haters drop their guards and fly their freak flags high.

    Sadly I’m one liberal who wished the haters stayed in the closet.

  24. 24.

    Cheryl Rofer

    June 5, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Mind mitte Suomi keeles

  25. 25.

    raven

    June 5, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    @spudgun: Lil Bit eats anything that doesn’t eat her first!

  26. 26.

    Martin

    June 5, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    @spudgun: Every night the bunnies and hamsters get greens and such. And the corgi is super-jealous, and wants his greens as well. So he gets the stuff that the other critters don’t like. Granted, that’s how corgis roll. They like meats, vegetables, fruits, baked goods, wood, leather, vinyl, most forms of plastic, and various composites.

  27. 27.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    @JoyceH: LOL!

  28. 28.

    ThresherK

    June 5, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    @JoyceH: My cat’s name is Jazz. Any chance yours is a calico?

    PS She likes bread. I am told cats enjoy the yeastiness of it.

  29. 29.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    @geg6: Broccoli! That’s the one I see a lot from dog parents – wonder what it is about broccoli that they seem to like…

  30. 30.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 5, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    Glad I live in a liberal city with no chance of idiots buying AXE just to destroy the cans. The thought of clouds of AXE being uncontrollably released makes me gag.

    Good on them for being on the right side of not being homophobic morons though.

  31. 31.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:33 pm

    @Martin: Yikes! ?

    Corgis are awesome…

  32. 32.

    spudgun

    June 5, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    @Another Scott: Don’t you worry about the pits, though?

  33. 33.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 5, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    I hope the ducks got some quackers too.

    I’ll see myself out.

  34. 34.

    cain

    June 5, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    @TaMara (HFG):

    @biff murphy: Jeebus, we used to attract a better class of trolls.

    Where is miq2xu when you need him? I haven’t seen goat boy in awhile. Ahh, the good ol days when we took no prisoners and smacked trolls. Although sadly when there were no trolls we started on each other :P

  35. 35.

    Groucho48

    June 5, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    The tweet about the Straight Pride parade is clearly snark, but, looks like at least a few folks are taking it seriously. Sad!

  36. 36.

    Baud

    June 5, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    I for one am proud I’ve never suffered from prejudice on account of being straight.

  37. 37.

    NotMax

    June 5, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    @JoyceH

    Congrats.

    Because what passes for my mind chugs along on its own eccentric terms, first thing immediately thought of and cannot dispel from the cranium is a BJ-centric title for a sequel.

    Mary Bennet and the Curious Mustard.

    ;)

  38. 38.

    Baud

    June 5, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    @cain:

    I was never that into trolls, but now that we have a troll-in-chief, I’m positively intolerant of them.

  39. 39.

    Splitting Image

    June 5, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    @biff murphy:

    Who makes AXE? My family wont be buying that fucking brand…

    Careful with that AXE, you weenie.

  40. 40.

    cleek

    June 5, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    I swear they have sonic hearing.

    seems likely

  41. 41.

    Yutsano

    June 5, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: These people really don’t get how a protest works do they?

    On the main subject, I have NEVER seen a dog less food motivated than my parents’ old border collie Jack. He never begs for food. If you offer him anything he has to sniff it first then decide if he wants it. And it could be anything: scraps of meat, hot dog, whatever. And he has even rejected those. It’s rather bizarre coming from both labs and vizslas that are food hound fanatics.

  42. 42.

    Another Scott

    June 5, 2019 at 3:44 pm

    @spudgun: Not too much. She even eats acorns occasionally. She seems to do Ok with the stuff that she scavenges – she’s been a dog that eats almost anything she finds on walks as long as we’ve had her. You would think we were starving her…

    (We actually do try to minimize the stuff she picks up, but she’s very, very determined about it.)

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  43. 43.

    Betty

    June 5, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    @spudgun: My puppies don’t just love papaya, they nibble the trees as well.

  44. 44.

    TaMara (HFG)

    June 5, 2019 at 3:47 pm

    @Groucho48: The tweet is smart, Straight Pride is, unfortunately a real thing.
    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/06/04/straight-pride-parade-boston-online-ridicule/1346769001/

  45. 45.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 5, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    As any good leftier-than-thou LGBT+ will tell you, of course, corporations and cops don’t belong at Pride parades anyway.

  46. 46.

    NotMax

    June 5, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    @Splitting Image

    Nice use of a Pink Floyd reference.

  47. 47.

    Groucho48

    June 5, 2019 at 3:51 pm

    Oh, Straight Pride is definitely a thing. But, read the tweet. Tami Lehren riding a swastika? Charlie Kirk in a diaper? If that isn’t snark, the country is even further off than my worst fears.

  48. 48.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 5, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    @Yutsano: I have no proof anyone is buying AXE to waste it, but people were buying champagne and French’s mustard just to dump them out back in 2003.

    Iraq war morons – how I’d like to go back to small pockets of idiocy.

  49. 49.

    trollhattan

    June 5, 2019 at 3:52 pm

    @Groucho48:
    “Tomi Lahren riding a Swastika” FTW.

    OTOH I can definitely believe Certain Individuals read that as fact, and thought it an awesome parade, bruh!

  50. 50.

    JoyceH

    June 5, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    @ThresherK: my Jazzy is a dog! She’s a Samoyed.

  51. 51.

    trollhattan

    June 5, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    @mrmoshpotato:
    FreiDumb fries.

    Republicans, hrrumph.

  52. 52.

    NotMax

    June 5, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    @Groucho48

    Mardi Gross parade.

    :)

  53. 53.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    June 5, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    @Yutsano: Are you sure that’s a dog?

  54. 54.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 5, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    @Betty:

    My puppies don’t just love papaya, they nibble the trees as well.

    I for one welcome our new puppy-beaver overlords.

  55. 55.

    Yutsano

    June 5, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    @Dorothy A. Winsor: LOL! In just about every other way he acts like a border collie. He does have a small touch of separation anxiety to contend with but from what I understand that’s not unusual for his breed. I have absolutely no idea where the lack of food motivation comes from. If he bugs you at the dinner table, it’s for skritches not nibbles.

    As a contrast, my parents had a cinnamon border collie named Jill who would hound you for EVERYTHING.

  56. 56.

    No One of Consequence

    June 5, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    @biff murphy: @Aleta: Thank you so much for posting that. She is awesome. Never heard of before.

    Peace,

    – NOoC

  57. 57.

    Martin

    June 5, 2019 at 4:01 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: Today we just have freedom gas.

    How that never got front paged is beyond me.

  58. 58.

    Mnemosyne

    June 5, 2019 at 4:02 pm

    I’m planning my Portland t-shirt wardrobe partly around how I can best signal, “Hello, I am a friendly ally who hopes you will have an enjoyable Pride Weekend.”

    I have a “Love Is Love” t-shirt and I’m hoping a second shirt I ordered arrives in time. I will also have a few buttons and possibly some additional swag I can hand out at random.

  59. 59.

    No One of Consequence

    June 5, 2019 at 4:02 pm

    And since I can’t edit the comment above, you can ignore me Biff. You sound exactly like the kind of person who wouldn’t like me and whom I would find difficult to avoid running over with my car, provided the opportunity.

    (Best we pretend we never met. K? Thx. Bye!)

    – NOoC

  60. 60.

    Mnemosyne

    June 5, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    @JoyceH:

    I’m assuming you’ve read Mary Robinette Kowal’s Regency-set fantasy novels? They’re quite fun.

  61. 61.

    The Moar You Know

    June 5, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    My Koda, a garbage can of a chocolate Lab, will eat any and all vegetables. She even loves broccoli and lettuce, which I would have thought a dog would would not like.

    @geg6: My golden is the same way. Favorite veg: arugula. He will beg for it.

  62. 62.

    BlueGirlFromWyo

    June 5, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Freedom gas – sounds like a held-in fart that escaped.

  63. 63.

    mrmoshpotato

    June 5, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    @Martin: Forgot about that. ?

  64. 64.

    Mnemosyne

    June 5, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    @Major Major Major Major:

    So you’re saying you don’t want any Mouse-branded Pride gear I might acquire in the next couple of weeks? ?

    Eh, I would have to mail it to you anyway.

  65. 65.

    Immanentize

    June 5, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    At the straight pride parade in Boston, they will be chanting:
    “Gays will not replace us!”

  66. 66.

    Gravenstone

    June 5, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    @Splitting Image: /golf clap

  67. 67.

    TenguPhule

    June 5, 2019 at 4:10 pm

    @Martin: The molecules of freedom require eternal vigilance. //

  68. 68.

    TenguPhule

    June 5, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    @Immanentize:

    “Gays will not replace us!”

    At least not until they get the final kinks out of those artificial wombs.

    The artificial insemination problem has already been solved.

  69. 69.

    JoyceH

    June 5, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    I’m assuming you’ve read Mary Robinette Kowal’s Regency-set fantasy novels? They’re quite fun.

    No, I haven’t! I’ll have to wish-list them. Right now I’m trying to work up a head of steam on Mary Bennet and the Beast of Rosings Park. I’ve set a goal for myself to publish four books in 2019. (Book 4 will be Mary Bennet and the Shades of Pemberley.)

  70. 70.

    NotMax

    June 5, 2019 at 4:16 pm

    @TenguPhule

    Don’t go giving Elon Musk ideas.

    ;)

  71. 71.

    Mnemosyne

    June 5, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    @JoyceH:

    Yay! I just acquired a critique partner — we exchange pages next week. Nervous but excited.

  72. 72.

    TenguPhule

    June 5, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    @NotMax:

    Don’t go giving Elon Musk ideas.

    ;)

    I’m pretty sure he’s already watched the Stepford Wives.

  73. 73.

    Dorothy A. Winsor

    June 5, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    @Mnemosyne: A trusted, insightful crit partner is worth their weight in gold.

  74. 74.

    Ruckus

    June 5, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    @raven:
    That was Bud as well. Pretty much anything that would fit in his mouth, that had some relationship to food at some point.

  75. 75.

    Josie

    June 5, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    @Martin: When Duncan, the super corgi, was a puppy, we kept him in a caged area instead of a kennel. Sadly we later discovered that he had eaten part of the wall next to his cage. Now he likes to sneak pecans into the house from the backyard tree and crunch them up, shells and all. Luckily he seems to have a cast iron stomach and just throws up the shells on occasion. The upside is that corgis are really easy to train, since they will do anything for a small morsel of food.

  76. 76.

    ThresherK

    June 5, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Are “straight but not narrow” T-shirts still a thing?

  77. 77.

    Major Major Major Major

    June 5, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    @Mnemosyne: aw.

  78. 78.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    @Aleta: Crying now. ;<0) I wanna go to Straight Pride with her!

    Thanks for posting!

  79. 79.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    @Splitting Image: Ah Pink Floyd reference. Horning in on Doug’s turf. Good job!

    See Biff or Tiffany for your prize: WalMart branded sunglasses…

  80. 80.

    Peale

    June 5, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    Meh. I’d just leave ’em alone. There won’t be more that 2 dozen of them, and they’ll soon start fighting over whether the point of the day is to express pride in love between a woman and a man or sex between man and a woman and whether or not it should be man/woman or woman/man – and then they’ll splinter into ever smaller groups.

  81. 81.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 4:37 pm

    @TaMara (HFG): I hope a thousand rays of Queens and Dykes make it Faabulous! We can be verrry creative.

  82. 82.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 4:42 pm

    @Mnemosyne: I’ve always liked the “Straight but not Narrow” T’s. Not original but it always makes me think, What do they mean by “not narrow”.

  83. 83.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    @BlueGirlFromWyo: Big smile or giggles when you Let Freedom Fly!

    You’re welcome.

  84. 84.

    satby

    June 5, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    @JoyceH: I just bought it too. Love the concept!

    I came in from finishing my new flower bed, took a shower, and laid down for what was supposed to be just 10 minutes with a charcoal facemask on. Woke up almost 2 hours later. But my skin looks fabulous ?

  85. 85.

    OzarkHillbilly

    June 5, 2019 at 4:47 pm

    @Dan B: Fat men can fit into them.

  86. 86.

    germy

    June 5, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    NY State passed a law to give Trump's state tax returns to Congress.

    Rep. Richard Neal, chair of Ways & Means, says no thanks, he won't ask for them because it might look like a fishing expedition, and that would be unseemly:https://t.co/AX1NlURGmj

    Are you kidding me?

    — Paul Waldman (@paulwaldman1) June 5, 2019

  87. 87.

    satby

    June 5, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    @Aleta: brilliant!

  88. 88.

    EthylEster

    June 5, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    @cain: Pancake.

  89. 89.

    BlueGirlFromWyo

    June 5, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    @germy: I think the good chair needs a few phone calls.

  90. 90.

    Dan B

    June 5, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    @OzarkHillbilly: Hourglasses R not us!

  91. 91.

    rikyrah

    June 5, 2019 at 6:08 pm

    The ducks crack me up. I adore them???

  92. 92.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    June 5, 2019 at 6:10 pm

    @Aleta:

    That is hilarious!

  93. 93.

    Mnemosyne

    June 5, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    @Dan B:

    I think it’s supposed to be I’m not narrow-minded, so I’m okay with Teh Gays. Really.

    That’s why I’m sticking with, like, rainbow hearts.

  94. 94.

    debbie

    June 5, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    I have no idea who this Tony guy is, but I love this tweet just before the Axe spectacle:

    Im no fashionista, but why does it always look like Ivanka Trump is wearing curtains from an 85 year old couple’s home?— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 5, 2019

  95. 95.

    RSA

    June 5, 2019 at 7:09 pm

    Jeez. “Every day is children’s straight pride day.”

  96. 96.

    Mary Ellen Sandahl

    June 5, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    @spudgun: Indeed the nose does. My sister-in-law had a big Dalmatian, female and utterly sweet, who, when upstairs, knew if a banana was being peeled downstairs.

  97. 97.

    Tenar Arha

    June 5, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    @TaMara (HFG): Turns out this is a white nationalist attempting a rebrand. As the day went by today people did some digging & the guy(s) trying to line up a permit for this are seriously bad news. Here’s the Daily Beast article. And if you check out the videos in this thread, the main organizer has been responsible for violent attacks at other protests.

    So on the one hand they’re unlikely to get a permit, not just because that’s like one of the most horrific traffic weekends in Greater Boston because it’s the weekend students move in, but also they’re unlikely to pass the permitting process with their public record.

  98. 98.

    Uncle Cosmo

    June 6, 2019 at 6:04 am

    @The Moar You Know: Dunno about veggies, but at a microbrewery outside Prague last month a couple of very handsome doggies (looked like Labs with coppery-brown coats) came in with an older couple & when a mug of brew was presented to one, s/he rather lustily lapped about half of it up. Neither of my bro’s goldens show/showed the slightest interest in alcoholic suds but we don’t imbibe all that much when I’m around, so I’m kinda wondering, is this a doggy thing?

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  • soapdish on BJ Hive Mind (Open Thread) (Mar 28, 2023 @ 9:32pm)

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