Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

After dobbs, women are no longer free.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

This blog will pay for itself.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Bad people in a position to do bad things will do bad things because they are bad people. End of story.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

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Saturday Afternoon Open Thread: Cat Rulz

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Also, feral chickens are tormenting England. (h/t Dorothy Winsor)

Feral chickens roaming in Vallee des Vaux, Jersey

Jersey is being terrorised by hordes of feral chickens, which have been waking up locals, damaging gardens and even chasing joggers.

Residents have been making complaints about the birds, which have also become a traffic hazard. Two small culls have been carried out, but they continue to cause chaos, the Environment Minister has admitted.

It is believed the chickens were once pets which were abandoned, before rapidly breeding. They now roam the British island in 100-strong groups.

 

It looks like you’ve been abandoned today! Here’s a nice fresh open thread, which will now be followed by a flurry of open threads.

Have at it.

Reader Interactions

118Comments

  1. 1.

    Baud

    Jersey is being terrorised by hordes of feral chickens,

    Affectionately known as Chris Christies.

  2. 2.

    HumboldtBlue

    Gangs of feral chickens in a country where Nandos rules the fast food landscape, I see a battle royale coming up!

  3. 3.

    Amir Khalid

    @Baud:
    On his next British tour, Bruce should play a show on the Isle of Jersey. Think of the headlines, man:

    SPRINGSTEEN COMES TO JERSEY

  8. 8.

    Wakeshift

    At last we learn the provenance of Brave Sir Robin’s sigil

    Edit: scooped by Nora

  10. 10.

    Baud

    They now roam the British island in 100-strong groups.

    Worst West Side Story remake ever.

  12. 12.

    John Revolta

    When you find yourself in danger
    When you’re threatened by a stranger
    When it looks like you will take a lickin’
    There is someone waiting who
    Will hurry up and rescue you
    Just caaalllll for SuperChicken!!

  16. 16.

    David ??Merry Christmas?? Koch

    Feral chickens terrorize China.

    World wide, everyone says General Tso’s chicken

  18. 18.

    Formerly disgruntled in Oregon

    @tam1MI: Like I want to hear what that smug, racist, misogynistic asshole’s judgements of our candidates are.

    No offense. But seriously, fuck Bill Maher.

  19. 19.

    RepubAnon

    Sounds like an homage to Weird Al’s song “Psycho Chicken” (sung to Talking Heads’ Psycho Killer).

  26. 26.

    mrmoshpotato

    The chickens are pissed off about the beating the Red Sox are taking.

    Twenty-five minutes until real baseball. Go Cubs!

  28. 28.

    Raven

    I just talked to my buddy in Berkeley. His wife is a lawyer there and does a ton of progressive work. She hates Harris but he thinks she’ll come around if it’s the only way to win.

  29. 29.

    Raven

    In other news we just booked an incredible fishing trip in Louisiana for my retirement gig in September!!!!

  31. 31.

    Skepticat

    When I lived on Boston’s North Shore, we had large (as many as forty-five or fifty) flocks of wild turkeys that were real … well, turkeys. They used to chase cars, pecking at the chrome and mirrors, and they’d chase anyone who walked along the road, squawking like mad the whole time. It probably was mating season, but they could be nasty. We have fewer and calmer versions on the island in Maine, and I’m looking forward to seeing them again soon.

  32. 32.

    oatler.

    @RepubAnon: Psycho chicken (WHAT THE FUCK?)
    buk buk buk buk buk buk buk
    He’s got a grudge against Frank Perdue!
    I always thought that was by the As

  33. 33.

    mrmoshpotato

    @The Pale Scot: Holy hell. That gull documentary is something.

    Seems like it would be easier to steal sandwiches from picnicking hoomans. Also – the pigeons need to band together. Peck the bastard within inches of its life.

  35. 35.

    trollhattan

    @MisterForkbeard:
    He-he-ha, at #13:

    13. Bernie Sanders: Jesus, I’m sick of this dude, who is not actually a Democrat anyway, is older than fuck, and who has the most querulously peevish supporters who generally make me tired the moment they open their demanding and entitled mouths. I’m happy that Sanders 2020: The Rebernening seems at this point likely to be swamped by the backwash of the Warren campaign, but I want to be absolutely clear that if the final choice is Sanders vs. Trump, I’ll press the button for Sanders so hard the plastic shell of the button might crack beneath my fingertip.

  36. 36.

    Mary G

    @MisterForkbeard: Tulsi’s not dead last:

    25. Marianne Williamson: Awww, hell no. If we get here, I’ve already moved to Canada. I have the points!

    Personally, I’d still crawl over the broken glass to vote for her, cuz Twitler. But glad she’s not winning people over. It would be a nightmare to have Hillary Clinton lose to a con man and then see the idiots elect a con woman.

  37. 37.

    Melusine

    Since it’s an open thread, how about Veep picks?

    Warren and Harris have both become such strong figures I don’t know if either would want to be VP, or prefer to remain as Queen of the Senate/AG/Sec Ed/CFPB/Czarina of Kicking Wall Street’s Ass.

    Personally, I’d love to see Stacey Abrams on the ticket. I know she said she wasn’t interested in being #2, but I think that was in reference to Biden/Sanders.

    She’s charismatic, she knows how to get things done, and Goddess forbid if something happened (and age isn’t the only factor – stroke, heart attack, cancer, evil fuckers can strike without warning), then she’s intelligent enough to know what she doesn’t know and wise enough to make sure she has someone experienced backing her up.

    Plus she’s be great at reassuring the nation in a crisis. Can you imagine Bernie trying to comfort-shout people after another Sandy Hook?? He’d double the PTSD.

    So currently my picks would be…

    1) Stacey Abrams
    2) Julian Castro
    3) Mayor Pete/Amy Klobuchar (but you’d have to give staff lots of extra personal days and free muffins)

  40. 40.

    debbie

    @Nora:

    I always heard, “Pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck, pluck.”

    Oddly, I sang this very tune at someone at work last week.

  41. 41.

    MisterForkbeard

    @trollhattan: I’ll admit that Scalzi nearly exactly nails how I feel about Bernie, but particularly mentions his more zealous supporters. I approve.

  45. 45.

    Redshift

    @Mary G: Trump is such an incompetent that a woo lady like Williamson can successfully do what he failed at – run for president to promote her personal brand.

  47. 47.

    OzarkHillbilly

    “What’s for dinner?”
    “Chicken.”
    “Again??!??!”
    “Well, I was gonna make a nice eggplant parmigiana, but this bastard beat us to it.”
    “Chicken sounds great.”

  49. 49.

    Redshift

    @Formerly disgruntled in Oregon: Hear, hear. I happened to hear his closing bit last night. (Ms. Redshift still watches the opening and closing, but even she admits he’s pretty much devolved into “old man yells at cloud.”)

    He talked about space exploration, and apparently thought “why don’t we spend that money fixing things down here instead” was fresh and original, rather than literally a fifty year old whine. Feh.

  50. 50.

    Immanentize

    @OzarkHillbilly: my friend in San Antonio grew up on a chicken farm in Texas City. That man hated chickens. Hated how awful his chicken raising childhood was. We were out at a Thai restaurant and he got his usual cashew chicken. I asked given his childhood, if he hated chickens so much, how could he stand to eat any. And he said, every meal is another dead chicken.

  52. 52.

    mrmoshpotato

    “Hello Dallas-area pizzeria. Will you deliver to Chicago?” Crazy-ass ads.

  55. 55.

    mrmoshpotato

    @Immanentize:

    But as, perhaps, the voice to replace Siri?

    Haha. You don’t want Wilmer shouting driving directions at you and telling you about the greatness of the Soviet Union through your iPhone?

  61. 61.

    chopper

    @Baud:

    “cause every chicken’s a lousy puerto rican” doesn’t quite have the ring of the original but it can work.

  64. 64.

    Immanentize

    @Raven:
    C’mon. Gen. MacArthur was a figgin’ laugh a friggin’ minute:

    We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction.

  65. 65.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Immanentize: I sympathize. They are dirty, nasty, mean little critters. They are also quite tasty and they give free breakfasts every day. So we compromised. They get to live like kings and I get all the eggs and roasted chicken I want.

  67. 67.

    satby

    @Raven: the war was never the vehicle for humor, the army bureaucracy and people’s personalities were where the humor was mined. It was pretty subversive for its time.

  68. 68.

    Melusine

    @JPL: I”m assuming/hoping it will come down to a choice between Warren and Harris for the nominee. (fingers crossed, mutters quick approximation of Hail Mary, throws salt over left shoulder)

    Booker might be worth it just for the opportunities for epic side-eye moments to liven up dull press conferences. He and Michelle Obama could have an “Uh-Huh”-Off for charity on Ellen.

    Michelle would win, of course. NOBODY can cast ocular shade like she can. Except maybe Prince, but I don’t think Marianne is up to channeling him.

  69. 69.

    raven

    @Immanentize: My old man was in his “Jungle Navy” and hated him. Do you know he never spent a night in Korea during the war? He’d fly back to his palace in Japan.

  71. 71.

    satby

    @OzarkHillbilly: oh, hey! Replying to your comment this morning, yes I have a fan. And I was planted in front of it the whole day. It was only about 84°, but full sun and metal building makes for quite a bit hotter temps inside.

  72. 72.

    Immanentize

    @raven:
    No, I did not know that. But my Dad, who got out in ’46 and did not go back, hated MacArthur for what he did in Korea. I suspect your Dad was a difficult father at times, but his instincts seem true. Fuck MacArthur.

  75. 75.

    Immanentize

    @Melusine: You make a good point (sideways). If Harris is the winner of the primary, Barak, Obama, Holder, Rice and everyone else on the team will be in it, full time, 24/7 to help her win.

    Probably true of many of the others.

  80. 80.

    NotMax

    Some of the above led to finding an interesting synopsis about delicatessen and WW2.

    While the war exposed Jews to other types of food, it also provided opportunities for non-Jews to learn about Jewish food. Lieutenant Colonel Harold Dorfman realized how much he missed delicatessen food when he served as navigator in a B-24 bomber on September 12, 1944. As the plane approached its target, the submarine pens of northern Germany, the pilot was ordered to inquire and record what was in each crew member’s mind. Each responded, in turn, that he was thinking about his family back home—each, that is, except for Dorfman, who said that he was consumed with a desire for a hot pastrami sandwich. The response from the pilot: “How do you spell pastrami?” The crew endured an eight-hour attack by enemy gunfire by laughing and joking about the episode. But to actually taste the unfamiliar delicacy, most had to wait until they arrived in New York eight months later on their way back to Fort Dix.

  81. 81.

    OzarkHillbilly

    Jess Dweck
    @TheDweck
    ·
    6m

    DEMS: There are a lot of great candidates but we need to pick the smartest one with the exact right views on every issue

    GOP: Our guy knows what a school bus is. Good to go

    Both sides are the same.

  83. 83.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @RAVEN: It’s sitting on my desk right here. I have to admit I’m a little intimidated by the size of it, but it’s next.

  85. 85.

    mrmoshpotato

    @OzarkHillbilly:

    and I get all the eggs and roasted chicken I want.

    How do the chickens roast themselves? Is Jeff Ross a chicken in a human suit? ?

  87. 87.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @NotMax: During WWII my old man had 2 sisters who worked in a cannery. His care package arrivals were the cause of week long celebrations by his bomber crew. Everything came canned. Salamis and polish sausage and hams, crackers, home made bread, and layer cakes (icing separately canned), dill pickles, pickled onions, pickled okra, pickled pike, everything came canned and almost as fresh as the day it came out of the oven or out of the smoker.

  89. 89.

    NotMax

    @OzarkHillbilly

    For which he owed a nod to the French. A Brief History of Canned Food.

    Canned food also predated, by around 30 years, the can opener itself. The first metal canisters were made of tin-plated steel or even cast iron, with heavy lids that had to [be] chiseled open or stabbed through with soldiers’ bayonets.

  92. 92.

    JPL

    Until my grandson is six months old, I have been doing the Nanny stuff MWF. I wanted one day where I could forget about the Wheels on the Bus, but no trump has to manage to ruin that, too.

  102. 102.

    mrmoshpotato

    In other baseball news, Baez just unloaded the bases with a grand slam. 5-0 Cubs in Cincinnati.

  104. 104.

    seefleur

    @Skepticat: I’m in the close-to-Downeast area, and the turkeys here are scary stupid/vicious. They’ll take on a car with no regard for safety or windshields. Only thing worse is my neighbor’s guinea hens. If you’re on an island, I hope that everyone there is okay with keeping the turkey population under control! at one point years back, Swans Island had a really bad run of dealing with deer that got out of control population-wise.

  107. 107.

    Matt McIrvin

    @MisterForkbeard: Mine right now is Warren, then Harris by a microscopic margin. After them, a gap. Booker, Castro, Gillibrand, a bunch of other people I guess.

    Biden is near the bottom just below Bernie Sanders and above the total cranks like Williamson and Gabbard. All of them are preferable to Trump, all of them.

  108. 108.

    Matt McIrvin

    (I have a good friend who supports Booker and REALLY FUCKING HATES Warren and another one who supports Warren and REALLY FUCKING HATES Harris, so this campaign is going to be fun if either of my favorites gets nominated. I think we all hate Joe Biden so maybe I should hope he gets nominated for comity.)

  110. 110.

    Ruckus

    @Melusine:
    Abrams was actually my first pick as well, but as she isn’t running I’m going with Harris, then Warren, then I’m waiting to be inspired. I’d really like to see Warren as senate majority leader, her plans are for legislation to get things done. We need that almost more than we need to get shit for brains out of the WH. So if Harris gets it and Warren stays in the senate Abrams would IMO be a great VP and in 8 yrs be ready to relieve Harris as pres.
    A boy can dream.

  112. 112.

    Ruckus

    @Raven:
    @satby:
    Raven, satby is right, it wasn’t actually about the war or the country it happened in. I was in the Navy, stationed at Great Lakes for school, when Mash was being shown and the lifers were very upset about it being shown at the base theater. The base commander said “Fuck it, it’s about the army, not the navy and so it played. The lifers that went to see it were mostly pissed the entire movie for all the hits the army took. Everyone not a lifer thought it was great because really the navy wasn’t any different than the army, after all a lifer is a lifer is a lifer……..

  113. 113.

    Ruckus

    @joel hanes:

    Biden would be fine.

    He was fine 10 yrs ago. And I’d bet he’s not dropping out till it’s apparent from Mars that he’s not going to win. IOW he’s going to pull a BS. Undoubtably not anywhere near as bad as that, but still noticeable. In his mind it’s finally his turn. I don’t think he’d be fine with any woman as president that he lost the primary to. And our best candidates are women, Harris and Warren.

  114. 114.

    Ken

    Just how feral do chickens get? Could they drive humans from Jersey, much as feral hogs have taken over large parts of Texas?

  115. 115.

    Origuy

    114 comments and no pedant pointed out that Jersey is not part of England? It’s not even really part of the UK. It’s a British Crown Dependency.

  116. 116.

    SectionH

    @Origuy: Completely late, but I read a lot of the posts earlier, and wth – yeah, Jersey is a British Crown Dependency. But what’s cool to me is that Jersey and Guernsey are the remnants of the Duchy of Normandy, and E2 rules there as the Duchess of Normandy – not anything else. (I’ve never made it to Guernsey, but have been to Jersey thrice. Lovely island – scenery, old castles, some incredible pottery, and it’s off-shore banking territory, so many restaurants catering to ppl with too much money to spend, but bargain prices compared to London. But also the Jersey Wildlife Preservation Trust.)

    What I was actually amazed by about this thread was we got through all these comments and no one mentioned Kauai and wild chickens. Because damn. They’re everywhere on the island. I never saw more than a few dozen at one time, and they were spread out over a lot of space, but still. You drive out of LIH and there are chickens…

  117. 117.

    SectionH

    @Ken: Um, no. Don’t be silly.

    @The Pale Scot: all the gulls around here seem to be wimps. The pigeons drove the gulls off the Fishing Pier, ffs. The City poisoned the poor pigeons… sigh. I like pigeons, unlike most people, apparently. I get all the complaints, but they’re just very well adapted birds.

    At least we’ve got brown pelicans (aka actual flying dinosaurs) on the pier to keep most of the birds in line. I’m glad to see a few “assertive” gulls. There’s one female gull who seems to negotiate with a brown pelican (probably female too) around the little boat dock. Fairly clearly over sharing the territory, but so far so good.

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